Picture Post: Sacred Heart of Jesus Catholic Church

Now and then I like to explore random churches in neighborhoods I'm not normally in. My fascination started with the Mission San Fernando (I even wrote two posts on it). I just love visiting churches and California Missions. I love the history and I love seeing how, though they're all different, I still feel God's love in them all. Sometimes I take pictures and sometimes I don't. Today, I went nuts because it's been the prettiest church I've seen in L.A. thus far.

Long story short: I went to visit my baptism and first communion Godmothers (whom are also mother and daughter) at their workplace closer to the city (I live in the urban 'burbs). Since we had time to kill (and I had seen on Google Maps that there was a church in the area), I decided to explore it... and I'm so glad I did. I'll talk about my experience in there (seriously, the word "marriage" was practically yelled within me when I sat in front of the tabernacle and started thinking about vocations) when I have enough concentration to do so. ;)

For past picture posts check out this post and this post for pictures of Mission San Fernando, this post for pictures of Mission Santa Barbara (2 hours north of L.A.), and this post for pictures of Christ the King Church near Hollywood. I am sure I have some pictures of the Cathedral and other churches but I'm too exhausted to look but you get the gist. ;)

Anyway, because I am too exhausted (running on 4 hours of sleep; darn nightmares) to focus on what I'm writing so I'm just going to make this a picture post.

Sacred Heart of Jesus Catholic Church from up the street.

Beautiful statue of Our Lady of Guadalupe at side entrance of church.

Front of church.

Statues of the Sacred Heart of Jesus, Sacred Heart of Mary, and St. Lucy on left side of altar.

This church was dedicated in 1887. Yeah. Wow.

View from the back of the parish. It came out much lighter than I anticipated. #win

Beautiful stain glass windows on side of church.

Close up of the window of the Third Joyful Mystery. Taken on a Monday. #CatholicWin

Statues of Our Lady of Mount Carmel, St. Therese of Lisieux, and St. Anthony of Padua.

Altar/communion rails! lol.

Close up of altar.

I didn't get enough pictures since I really wanted to spend time in front of the beautiful tabernacle you see in the picture above. These pictures certainly didn't do the beauty of the church any justice. I hope to maybe write about my experience tomorrow when I'm less sleepy and loopy from the lack of sleep. I'll be blogging more regularly as I have a lot to write about and time to do it. :D

I hope you all had a great weekend and have a great start of week. If you have any prayer requests, send them my way. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless!

Come at Me, (Negativity) Bro: Anger, Forgiveness, and Silver Linings

As you might've noticed, I did not post every single day last week as planned. Guest posts fell through and I found myself having a horrible weekend (Friday through yesterday) so I didn't have anything good to post. However, I do feel like sharing what happened because it's a part of who I am and has contributed to my own growth as both a person and a Catholic.

I won't go into detail about what happened on Friday through Saturday. Let's just say that my faith and my beliefs were seriously challenged in a way that I never thought. I was placed in a situation in which I had to ask St. Benedict's intercession (as well as St. Michael Archangel's over the weekend) and only fueled the fire to get officially enrolled in the brown scapular (more on this in a bit.) It wasn't until I talked to my confessor that I felt better. I hope and pray that I am never put into that situation again (and, for the record, I did not seek it). The good thing that I got out of it is another reaffirmation that I love God above everything and that I would never do anything intentional to hurt Him. This brings me to what happened yesterday in which I had another one of these affirmations.

I will start off by saying that I've been using my iPod touch for confessions (I have the iConfess app) as well as for Mass (I have the iMissal as the first app on the screen). I've been using both for years now. Only once had I had an usher tell me to put it away only to let me keep using it after he saw that I had the iMissal app open and that I was using it to follow along during Mass. After that one time, he would even tell others about how I used the app, impressed that I would have it. Yesterday was a whole different story.

Like I said, I've been using these apps for years. I don't have it on the entire Mass; mostly just for readings (for better concentration) and for the Nicene Creed so that I don't mess it up. As soon as the Creed is recited, it goes back in my bag. It doesn't disturb anyone. I don't make noise. It stays as low as I can have it to make sure it doesn't distract anyone. The usher yesterday, who I've seen in Mass more than once, decided that yesterday it was going to be good to publicly tell me to put it away (as I was putting away)... right as soon as the Creed was recited... in front of everyone... and everyone in the general area heard it quite well. I tried to explain, and show him, that I was using it for the Nicene Creed but he kept being super rude about it and, well, to not slip and badmouth him let's just say that my response was to cry at the end of the exchange. So I cried for the next 20 minutes of the Mass... and the next half an hour after that. I have never felt so insulted and humiliated in church before.

My initial response was to leave because I was so angry that he would do that in front of everyone. My response when angry is usually silence and/or tears... and removing myself from the place or person who caused the response. I was angry at the usher for how he handled the situation and angry that I was angry at him right before communion. Since I knew that I did not want to receive Christ while angry, I did my best to talk myself out of the negative feelings. I am sure the Holy Spirit helped me in this situation because, even though I was still crying when I received communion, I was not angry doing it. What I did instead was not think about it and have an inner dialogue with God. I thought (since I know He knows my heart and mind) "I'm here for you, God. Nothing anyone will do or say will keep me away from You. I did not come to please others but you. If this is just another stumbling block the Evil one has for keeping me away, it's not going to work. I'm here for YOU because I love YOU." In that instant, I got the sudden inspiration to go up to the usher after Mass to tell him that I forgave him... and I did.

After Mass (and after the priest nearly denied me communion -- I'll get to this in a second), I walked up to the usher and said "I forgive you." He walked to the side and we talked. The anger and bad look he had given me seemed to have melted from his face. He explained that he couldn't let me use the app, even though he figured out (after I tried explaining what I was doing), because then he would have to let others do it too. I couldn't understand (and still don't) the logic behind that but I saw where he was coming from. I told him that I felt like he humiliated me when all I was doing was trying to stay focused and concentrated during Mass. I didn't mention that I also do it when I am terribly anxious to stay focused because I don't want to use anxiety as a crutch or an excuse. Either way, I once again reiterated that I forgave him and he apologized for his actions. That was the end of that.

And, now, you're probably asking: "so why did the priest nearly deny you communion?" Well, I think it was because I didn't stick my tongue out enough. Like I said, I was still crying at that point but I still tried to make myself strong and receive communion. The priest was going to place the host on my tongue but took one look at me, pulled it back, and said "stick out your tongue" in a manner that hurt. It made me feel like I was doing something wrong even though I've received the Eucharist in that way before. Tongue was out but apparently not good enough for him. I was already hurt and then having the priest give me that look and say "stick out your tongue" in a tone that was, well, hurtful to me (I don't know how else to describe it).

So, to sum up my day: 1) the alarm didn't go off (which was weird in itself) and we rushed to Mass, 2) the usher did what he did, and 3) then I felt like a priest nearly denied me communion. All in the span of 2 hours. That, after the Friday and Saturday I had, made me feel like they were huge stumbling blocks placed before me to make me lose it, to make it seem like God did not want to close to me (and I did have a split second thought that maybe I had done something wrong and that I did not deserve to be close to Him), and basically keep me away from Him. But, like I said in my inner dialogue to God, nothing will keep me away from Him. I won't give up attending Mass or going to church. I would ten thousand times get my feelings hurt by others during Mass as long as I know that God loves me and that I'm doing things right. That is the silver lining I found in all of these situations. My faith is stronger, my love for Him has grown exponentially (I never thought it was possible to have my heart grow that much and filled with more love than I thought I was capable of).

Of course, I will try to buy a missalette to use to avoid the usher situation again (I can see how it could be distracting to others though I was doing nothing wrong). I will keep attending Mass. So, negativity... you can come at me (bro) but I won't give up on my faith or God for anything or anyone. I know I already said it but I also wanted to repeat it. :D

So, that's it. That was my interesting (and horrible) weekend. It stunk but, in the crud I dealt with, I still found some beauty which is all I could ask for. :D

I may continue the positivity posts for at least this next week since I didn't get to finish it last week. We shall see. :D

Anyway, I am going to go figure out what to do with my Thesis (oh yeah, I forgot to mention that, as of today, it is officially released and I can share it.) :D

I hope you all had a better weekend than I did and that you have a great week. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless!

This is Why I Love My New Church.

Okay, so, technically it's a chapel of ease. There are no Masses during the week but that's okay, I can always go to a closer parish for that. On Sundays there are only two Masses that are celebrated, both in the morning.

There are two priests: one (in his 70s-80s) who celebrates the first Mass and another (in his late 30s-early 40s) who celebrates the second Mass. I have never heard two other priests give homilies like they do. It's relevant and they aren't afraid to talk about topics that other priests wouldn't dare mention. They are honest yet approachable and charismatic.

This chapel has been in existence since the late 1700s. The altar has remainded unchanged for goodness knows how long. It is absolutely beautiful. It is very small but it feels more open than most other parishes I've attended.

The average age of those who attend is about 60. There are very few of us who are under 30. The children that attend with the parents are well behaved and when a meltdown begins, the parent quietly steps out with the child. More women wear mantillas than I could ever imagine in a single church. Most of the mantillas wearers are in their late teens to late 20s. No one is ever dressed inappropriately (read: miniskirts or other things that expose too much flesh). Have I mentioned that the altar boys are actually altar boys? They range from elementary school age to late teens/early 20s.

Everyone is genuinely attentive and active during the Mass. Never have I attended a parish in which everyone sings... loudly and joyfully. Even if it's off key, no one notices because we're all too focus on being there for God. When the organist starts playing and the beautiful music envelops the church, there is a sensation of happiness and openness that my heart begins to feel. Some people still mess up the "with your spirit" parts but we all smile and continue on. When the priest delivers the homily you can hear a pin drop. When you walk in or walk out, you get a smile and a handshake from one of the ushers.

There is no clapping (see the post picture) or anything that takes away from the Mass. Everything is done with reverence. Never, in the past month and a half that I've attended, have I ever felt that I am not there for God. It's not about us (which is how I've felt at most parishes; it's more about the people than God); it's about Him. It is about hearing the Word and taking it into our hearts. There are little to no distractions during the Mass and it makes it that much better.

Here is the thing that I best love about my new church: despite it being for the cremé de la cremé of those living in my part of Los Angeles, you don't feel it. There is no pretentiousness. Yes, they dress nicely and drive nice cars, but if you're not materially rich, you don't feel ostracized. I had no idea that some of the (economically) wealthiest people in L.A. attended Mass at this church until one of my Godmothers brought it up. Total shocker when I first heard it. Unlike some parishes where you feel like you get criticized for the smallest things or even given dirty looks if they deemed you unworthy (seriously, I've felt this on more than one occasion), all you feel is a sense that they've embraced you into their little tight-knit community. And, again, it's not about you or them... it's about getting together and focusing on God. He is the reason why we get together every Sunday morning.

Anyway, I just wanted to share these random thoughts that I've been having the past couple of Sundays. I've never felt so comfortable, at home, and at peace during a Mass as I have at this church. Thank God that mom and I not only agreed on a parish we both liked, but that we also look forward to every Sunday morning. :)

btw, yes and no, this was and was not a filler post. I would've posted it yesterday but I got preoccupied with something else. :) The CINO post is still a work in progress as I'm trying to be as diplomatic and uncritical as possible. It's hard but it can be done. :D

I hope you all had a great weekend and are having a great beginning of week. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless! :D

God Appears When You Least Expect It

If you're following me on Twitter, you might've seen a tweet (yesterday) about my "road trip" with Verbum Veritatis blogger, Joe. If you were still on Twitter about an hour or two later you might've seen me "checking in" (via foursquare) to a church in Los Angeles. What you might have not known is that we had absolutely no intention of going to a church but we still ended up there... and that it seemed to be a sign from God that He was listening to our conversation.

If you've read this blog for, at least, a year now you've probably seen me mention Joe occasionally. He's a fellow L.A. Catholic blogger (though his location will soon change) who's been my math tutor as well as a good friend. He went to Mass with us the day after my father passed away last year and we've gone to both Mass and confession a couple of times with my family. I've known he was meant for the religious life since I met him but I did not push him one way or another. I let him discern his vocation in peace, with encouragement, just like I do with all my friends. Recently he was admitted to the Order of the Blessed Virgin Mary of Mercy and will begin his postulancy next month. Since he will be relocating to Philadelphia, we decided to have one last hurrah before he left. At the last minute, I asked him to do me the favor of driving me into Hollywood (I live in the urban suburbs of L.A.) because I'd been craving imported Irish cookies I had had a few months ago. He agreed and we set off for the heart of Tinseltown.

About 80% (if not more) of the conversations between Joe and I have something to do with Catholicism and/or religion. While driving down the 101 freeway we started talking about the Mercedarians and about vocations in general. Without going into the specifics of our vocation stories (which I hope to write about some day), we both agreed that we were meant for the vocation that would be the "hardest" for us (but in a good way): the religious life for him and the vocation of marriage for myself. We were actually still talking about both my vocation, about how I will need patience and a lot of faith while I wait for whomever God has in store for me, and our liturgical abuses at parishes when we were about to reach our destination. Fortunately for us, this woman in a white car would not let us into the left lane where we needed to be... causing us to drive further up to be able to make a turn. What we did not expect was to find a hidden gem neither of us have even heard of: a gorgeous Catholic church on the outskirts of Hancock Park.

Christ the King Roman Catholic Church is absolutely breathtaking, especially inside. Both Joe and I were in awe that something so beautiful was located in Hollywood/Los Angeles, especially with the parishes we're used to seeing. Not that I'm ragging on the local parishes, they are all lovely in their own ways but this parish was like nothing I've ever seen in person. The stained glass windows, the location of the tabernacle... the entire inside of the church literally made me speechless. Unfortunately it was too dark inside so the pictures didn't come out too great, nor did they do the parish any justice, but I tried to take as many pictures as I could. (And, btw, if you take any of these pictures from the blog please give me credit for it.) Click the pictures to make them bigger.

The stain glass windows over the altar:

From Christ the King Roman Catholic Church

The confessional (with Joe looking at it):

From Christ the King Roman Catholic Church

Dedicated to the Virgin Mary:

From Christ the King Roman Catholic Church

Divine Mercy:

From Christ the King Roman Catholic Church

From the back of the church (does not do it any justice):

From Christ the King Roman Catholic Church

Mini grotto outside:

From Christ the King Roman Catholic Church

Close up:

From Christ the King Roman Catholic Church

As we were leaving, we found candles and lit one before we left. Once we were outside, I could see the Hollywood sign almost straight across from the parish. As I told Joe, to me it seemed like it was God's way of saying that He was there with us, never leaving us alone, even in the midst of debauchery and sin (which is prevalent in Hollywood). Even though we may seem like a minority in this great big city, God's not going to leave us alone and that gem was proof.

On the way to two different Irish shops (which I will actually write about next time; there are stories there as well), we were talking about how our discovery of this gorgeous church was like a sign for us. We had been talking about finally being at peace with our vocation discernments and everything else when we stumbled across the church. It was like God was telling us He had heard our conversation and that we had done the right thing. Since we were also talking about St. Therese of Lisieux (whom I coincidentally had a picture of in my purse) and had talked about the Little Flower being our intercessor during the vocation discernment, I also took it as rose from her. :)

As soon as I got home from our road trip, I told my mom about the parish and she immediately said that we had to go to Mass there at least once. I don't know when but we definitely will. :) Anyway, I thought it was a pretty good story to share so here I am blogging it. :D

Alright, I need to go catch up on emails since I had no access to my email account for a couple of hours two days ago (not good, Google!) as well as try to finish a book I want to review on this blog. :D I hope everyone is having a good week thus far!

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless!

Practicing Patience in Church

I am usually a pretty patient person but when bets are off when I'm trying to (quietly) focus on something. Tonight that patience was put to the test.

After confession, we decided to stay for Mass. Since we had over half an hour before the Mass actually started, I decided to pray the Rosary. I was really focused on it until about the third Joyful Mystery when a woman wanted to sit in the pew we were in. I was in the right end (I like sitting in the edges/ends) when I heard and felt woman trying to get past me to get into the booth. She didn't even say "excuse me" until I felt her knees hitting mine. That broke my concentration and made me really not happy. I kept my eyes shut and continued to pray, though not with the same concentration as before. I was miffed. Often when I pray the Rosary something or someone has to interrupt me. It's rare when it doesn't happen. Anyway, I continuing praying until I was done. Once I finished, I turned to see where the woman had sat. I was not happy when I saw that she sat at the other end of the pew... where she could've easily gotten to her seat without disturbing me. "Well, that wasn't nice!" I thought to myself. I let it go. I wasn't in the mood, especially after confession.

The Mass starts... and with it all the liturgical abuses that go with the Novus Ordo. The parish where we attend Mass (where we started attending after that on Sour Sunday last year) is so far the best when it comes to the liturgical abuses. They aren't as many as there are at other parishes. I can usually just sit there and focus on the Mass (and try not to count the number of abuses) and be happy. I was glad that we had the hymns in Latin (thank God!). The priest slipped a couple of times but he's had a great track record thus far so I let it go. I am learning how to have patience at Mass because the more I learn about the Church, the more traditional I get... and the more than liturgical abuses annoy me. I cannot wait until I get my car so I can drive to a parish that offers Latin Masses.

Anyway, point of this post: whether you have experiences like me, where the little things annoy you... or if you're one of those people who hate children crying and making noise in Mass (I can overlook that because I am such love babies and little kids), it's good practice. If you want to learn how to control your urges to tell people to "shut up" in Masses (oh, I've had several neighbors scold at children for making noise, even the itty bitty babies), Church is really a good place to start. Even if you have pretty good patience already but want to strengthen it even more, going to the House of the Lord is great for you. Trust me, we've all had our "ugh, go away" moments in Mass... but you can always work on it or offer up if you're just really annoyed that you can straight. That's what I've been doing lately and it's helping. :D

Alright, homework awaits me... as usual. It's like the Neverending Story, isn't it? Yup.

'Til next time, thank you for reading and God Bless. :D

More Traditional Than Expected?

Every time I go to Mass at the parish where I've gone since I was in my mama's womb, I become just a little more disillusioned with them. The fact that they pretty much skip over the Penitential Rites really bugs me. The clapping, and (sometimes) dancing along, I see during the Alleluia/Gospel Acclamation always makes me cringe. I've had priests (one in particular) look at me when they see I'm not partaking in the clapping most of the parishioners are more than happy to do. I refuse to clap along, sorry. I feel like it's disrespectful to the sacredness of the Mass. More things I don't like: not wearing a skirt or dress to Mass... not wearing a mantilla/chapel veil... not receiving communion... not attending Mass, period. I have been known to cry when I am unable to attend Mass. The more I learn and read about the Church pre-Vatican II, the more I feel like the "outdated rituals" would suit me the best. That doesn't mean that I am against the Second Vatican Council... I just prefer the way things used to be way before my time. Am I more traditional than anyone, including myself, expected?

I have never been to a Latin Mass before but, after learning more about it and watching videos on youtube, I feel like it is the perfect Mass for me. Sadly, they're not really offered within the Los Angeles Archdiocese. Not even Pope Benedict XVI's Motu Proprio Summorum Pontificum has helped that issue here. The nearest parish where they offer Latin Masses is almost an hour away from where I live (for those who aren't familiar with L.A., the county is large and sprawled out). They don't even offer it at the San Fernando Mission anymore! I could go into the whole issue many of us have with Cardinal Mahony, but I won't. All I will say is that I think it's sad that the archdiocese seems to have something against the TLM. If you want to hear more about what's wrong with this archdiocese, go to Joe's blog, Verbum Veritatis in Mahonyland. He expresses himself better than I do on this subject. (P.S. He can attest that I actually wear a mantilla to Mass; he's seen it for himself.)

I have embraced the fact that I have become a traditional Catholic (and I fall in the first group of traditional Catholics according to Fish Eaters). When I started this blog, on Christmas night 2007, I had NO CLUE that my journey returning to the Church would lead me here. For those very few that have read this blog since the beginning, I ask you: did y'all see it coming? I am actually very proud that! While I no longer wear the mantilla my father brought me from Mexico earlier this year (I have decided to not use it until my wedding day), I still wear one. I am proud to wear my mantilla to Mass... even if I'm the only woman under 50 that wears one. I REFUSE to receive communion by the hand. I'm usually one of the very few people in my parish who receives the Eucharist directly in the mouth. I wouldn't mind seeing altar rails brought back to the parish, though I won't hold my breath on that one. I'm not even going into the music played during Mass because I will never stop writing (St. Cecilia would be proud. :D)

I've read recent articles (which I cannot find at the moment, I need to organize my bookmarks) that say that statistics and surveys have shown that my generation (those in their late 20s and younger) seem to be more traditional than previous generations. Yes! Most, if not all, my Catholic friends are traditional, so I believe the articles. So will I be one of several that, with the help of Pope Benedict XVI, get their wish fulfilled and see parishes allow more Latin Masses to be said? Will we slowly see beautiful mantillas return? Only time will tell... but I am certainly hoping it happens.

Though I want to write more, I will stop for now and pick it up sometime in the future. Maybe next time I'll have the links ready. lol. ;) I am off to prepare myself for tomorrow's Philosophy course. Another round of "Oh no you di'nt" discussions with my professor? We'll see. :D I hope y'all are having a great start of week. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless!

Most Beautiful, and Weird, Day Ever!; Spanish Mass Conquered!

I am having, by far, the most beautiful (and super weird -- in a good way) day ever! I actually just got home from a Spanish Mass... which I went to by myself! Oh yeah... I'm getting braver! :D See, I woke up early to watch the Liverpool vs. Chelsea game (Liverpool WON! WHOO!) so that meant I could go to the English Mass without problem. Little did I know that my breakfast would get my mom and I sick. When it came time to go to the English Mass at my parish, I couldn't go. I was nauseous, my head throbbed, and I felt super fatigued. I told my dad that I would see if I felt better "in a little bit" so that I could still try to go to Mass. I ended up falling asleep and woke up an hour and a half ago. By this time, the last English Mass was half done. It would take us 15 minutes to get there so no use. I decided to give the Spanish Mass a try. I asked dad to drive me to the local parish (where I usually go to confessions) and he said alright. He didn't tell me he would just drop me off until it was too late. I got a little nervous because not only was this the first time I'd go to a Mass by myself without someone nearby in case my anxiety struck, it was the dreaded Spanish Mass which gets full beyond capacity. I called mom and let her know I would stick it out... and I DID! I was (and am) so proud of myself! :D I had virtually no anxiety; just a couple of seconds of "Can I do this?" I had this absolutely beautiful moment while I was there, too.

Since I was all the way in the back, I was the first person in line to walk up to receive communion. I had this moment where I felt like I was a bride walking up to my groom. Not only that, I felt like a blushing bride... and felt my cheeks getting warm, too. lol. I honestly, for a split second, thought "I'm going up to see my groom." It was the WEIRDEST and most beautiful feeling in the world. I had other things that happened during this time, but I want to talk to one of the priests I know first to get their take on it. Let me just say, it was an amazing and beautiful experience. So, I received Eucharist, and since I was on this beautiful high, I got the courage to try the wine. It was my first time doing that (at least since around my first communion) as well. Why I haven't had the altar wine in years... long story that includes the words "allergic reaction". What can I say... I was being brave. :D I'm not used to it so it burned my throat a little, but, man, it was so worth it. I felt complete. :D At the end of Mass, I felt happier than I've felt in a long time. *content sigh* Dad tried to make me re-think going to Mass because I was "sick" but I kept telling myself... "No, I belong in the house of the Lord. I HAVE TO be there today!" Nearly a month of missing Mass is horrible and I wasn't going to risk not going again today. I am so happy that I not only lasted throughout the entire Mass, by myself, but that I made myself stick it out. :D Si se puede, indeed!

Before all of this, I woke up from a wonderful dream. This is where all the weird parts of my day are coming forth. I dreamt I was talking to the only brother I've never met. My mother had a child over a decade before I was born. He died when he was only 11 months old. He and I have many similarities, I've always felt close to him... even though I've never met him. I've briefly mentioned some things about him in a previous post. Anyway, in the dream I had a whole conversation with him. It was weird, but very lovely. He said that he was looking out for me and that everything I did and said, he heard and saw. "After all, you're my sister" was something he said (I'm paraphrasing though). I remember I couldn't figure out whether to call him my little brother, or my big brother -- because he went to heaven as a baby, but he was born in the early 70s and I was born in the mid 80s. He seemed to think that was funny. He told me about some earthquake that would happen here "at least a 5.0" and that I should be ready for it. I have earthquake dreams often so I didn't really think twice about it. Then he said something about taking care of mom, and I decided to grab my things because of the upcoming earthquake. He showed me (I don't remember how) a holy card of St. Catherine of Sweden and said it was for mom. Then a holy card of a male saint whose name started with an R (don't remember the name, just the image on it) was left for me and it was implied that it was meant for me. Then the earthquake struck, I ran out of the house to this mini van where he apparently was waiting. Then I woke up... to the lights flickering on and off in my room. It only happened in my room, too. Mom was in another room and they didn't do that where she was. And to make sure I wasn't going crazy (haha!), we checked the digital cable box and saw that the power had indeed flickered on and off (with the To Be Announced sign on all the channel -- which happens when the power goes out). That was weird.

A little weirder still, I told my mom about the dream. We don't know much about St. Catherine of Sweden so I decided to look her up on my iPod. (Thank goodness for google search and wifi). I read my mom St. Catherine's story and my mom said "Wait... I'm 4th of 8 children too!" -- just like St. Catherine. I didn't know this! My mom was adopted as a child so I didn't know all this. Another coincidence, St. Catherine of Sweden is the patroness against miscarriages and abortions -- loss of children. So that was really weird, but cool. I put all this in the back of my mind and went to Mass, only thinking about making it through the Mass. Then Fr. Alexander starting speaking and with his homily came a name I wasn't expecting -- Moses. My brother, the one who I dreamt of last night, was named Moises (the Spanish version of the name). What weird, crazy coincidences. Nonetheless, these coincidences made me happy and made me feel like I belonged at Church today. :D

And to add to all of this: the female protagonist in my novel is named Catalina (aka Lina) which is the Spanish version of Catherine... AND Sweden is mentioned in the first paragraph of the novel. WHOO! :D

So, as you can see, I'm having a VERY weird (full of coincidences) but beautiful day. :D It's making up for yesterday when I had to miss my little adopted sister's play. :( (P.S. Trust me, De, I tried to make myself go but when it got to the point where I was literally going to faint, the plans were scrapped.)

Alright, well, I think that's enough babbling for today. :D I hope I didn't bore y'all with what's going on with me. :D I hope everyone is having (or had) a great weekend! As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D
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Palpitations and Pains in Church; Golden Crucifix Dream.

Man, I've had one doozy of a weekend. When I went to confessions yesterday, my heart kept beating as though it was going to jump out of my chest. It calmed down when I confessed but when I went to kneel in front of the tabernacle, it started right up again. I was trying to say the Act of Contrition and then say the amount of prayers Fr. Juan had given me but I just couldn't concentrate. My heart was beating with so much force that the St. Jude medallion (which I wear on a chain) was actually bouncing off my shirt. That's never happened and it was quite scary. I closed my eyes and said "Lord, if this is the work of the enemy trying to keep me from praying, please help me." I managed to calm down and concentrated after that.

Today, I went to Mass by myself (mom's battling a painful toothache and dad simply didn't "feel like going"). I was fine until I started getting these chest pains over my heart. I ignored the first one but when the second and third came I worried and left Mass. They were about to start with the Eucharist too. :( I was seriously scared because the pains burned. I only got about 5 pains before it stopped though. Still, I got home and I cried. After the ordeal I went through last year, I've remained very nervous about my heart. I think (and hope) it was maybe some heartburn or something. I'd eaten some hot (chili) chicken in the morning and then took a nap an hour and a half later. I woke up with my stomach all acid-y so I think that that's what triggered the burning chest pains. I haven't had any pains since, thank goodness. To be honest, I think I cried mostly because I left Mass early. I was scared about the pains but didn't get a panic attack or anything like that. Hopefully I won't get a repeat of it again.

I don't know what's going on but I think I'm definitely in for a fight. I haven't been praying as much as I used to -- either I run out of time or forget. I didn't go to Mass for two weekends (I was sick in bed the first week and had that midterm last Sunday) and confession for 3 weeks. That was also a first. I usually go to confession once a week... or at least once every 2 weeks. It's been that way for nearly 2 years now. I had to leave Mass early the last time I went, and again today. My parents have started refusing to go to Church with me. Oh, I'm definitely in for a battle but I'm not going to give up on these things! At least I'm still having my wonderful dreams.

A few nights ago I had this dream that I was left at the altar, in my wedding dress, by someone I cared about in real life a while ago. Anyway, I was really upset in the dream and then I found this golden crucifix. It somehow appeared in my hand, wrapped in a silk handkerchief. I was so happy to see it that I kissed it because I knew that it was a sign of comfort... and then woke up. I told a friend of mine about this and he said, "Well, maybe the golden Crucifix means that Jesus is always there. Gold is precious, so even though things go to custard, as you could say, Jesus is still there. So Jesus is your treasure." I think he's right. Lately I've been feeling just horrible at home and the lack of communications between my friends and I is starting to take its toll on me. I think that I just have to remember that I'll always have the love of God, and our beautiful Blessed Mother; especially when I don't feel it from anyone else. The dream was definitely a reminder of that... and that's such a comforting thought to have. :D I hope everyone remembers that when they're feeling down.

Alright, well, I have to work on some schoolwork. Yeah, it's a never-ending cycle of critical analysis and research papers. lol. I hope everyone had a great weekend!

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D
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Brain Overload; Feeling Blessed and Thankful.

Oy. My brain is overloaded with facts of Hinduism. I'm about 2 days late on my paper about Hinduism, as well. :( Bah! I didn't have the cash, or transportation, to get the book on time thus making me fall behind. Luckily, we have a 2 day grace period so... I am going to get to that as soon as I finish this blog. Between my History of World Religions and British Literature courses, I have very little free time. I am not too stressed about my other courses because they don't make my head and eyes hurt as much (in other words, not as much reading). I will be so happy once we're a quarter into the semester because that's when the professor stop loading us with huge amounts of work. I will also need a massage by the end of this coming weekend because I already have knots in my shoulders and back from all the stress. Okay, I will stop my ranting right about... now. lol.

I went Mass today but left about a bit early because I felt like I was going to pass out (I also left my Oceanography course earlier in the day early for the same reason). Since my father and I weren't seated together (long story), he didn't see when I slipped out. I had to wait out by the car until Mass was done... but what I received during that time made up for my missing Mass (well, at least the bummed out feeling of not making it through the Mass) was fantastic. A young girl came up to me (while I was dabbing my forehead with a cold paper towel I got from the bathroom) and asked to borrow my cell phone. She then started up a conversation in which she was very open about her life with me. I've never encountered someone who was that trusting with a stranger. Even though she's a decade younger than I am (wow, that make me feel old, lol), she's lived so much more than I have. She has a child and has gone through heck and back. As she was telling me all these things, I felt very sad for her but personally very blessed at the same time. She asked me questions like whether I had a boyfriend or had kids, whether I was in school, and whether I was saving myself for marriage (though she used more colorful words). I was VERY shocked she would ask me such personal questions but I felt like I had to be very honest with her. I usually just say "I'm sorry but it's none of your business" but I answered all her questions. I think she was very surprised by my answers, especially when I told her I was 23 and not 15 years-old like she thought I was. (Side note: Yes, I'm often mistaken for a teenager. I look anywhere from 15-19 according to people.) I was shocked when she started using the foul language she used. Every other word was the f-bomb. This was on a bench outside of church, too. I kept thinking "How can someone be so disrespectful at church?" Granted, we weren't inside but we were still a couple of feet away. Talking to her and hearing her words, I mean really hearing her, made me very so blessed and thankful for the life I've had.

Even though I've had really sad things happen, I've been able to stay on a pretty good path. Even during my time away from the Church, I didn't go crazy. I never really went through a stage of teenage rebellion. I did sort of have a mini one when I was 18-19 but it was in the form of getting home a few minutes (like 10 minutes) later than I said I would be (coming home from a concert). That's not exactly rebellion, is it? lol. I never did anything anyone else was doing in my circle of "friends". That was my rebellion; not doing something because everyone was doing it. Though I did have some slip-ups, like lying and swearing (I call that the "Lost" part of my youth; all around the time I was away from the Church), I never got to the point of doing huge self-destructive things. I think God blessed me with enough common sense to not do those things. There have been a number of times where I could have easily strayed and done things I would've greatly regretted. Thankfully, I've always known how or when to get myself out of those situations. Once, I sent my friend an S.O.S. text, he called me and got me out of the situation and I'm forever grateful for it.

So, during my chat with the young woman, I thought about all I've gone through and I was so thankful to God for everything. I honestly feel so blessed to have had the experiences I've had (both good and bad) because they've gotten me to where I am in life. Though I have sinned (but, really, who hasn't?), I've confessed those sins and I've made a great effort to stay on the right path. And I owe it all to my faith and to God. Without my faith, prayer, and everything else I would be completely depressed and probably still sick from all the negative thoughts and feelings. If I didn't have the Rosary or my own little journal thing I keep to Our Lady (Blessed Mother), I would've been nutty (well, nuttier, lol).

Isn't it amazing how I got all of this from church though not through Mass? Of course, I would've stayed for the entire Mass if I hadn't felt lightheaded and faint like I did. And, of course, I would've learned a lot for today's readings. I think that this whole thing happened for a reason -- me leaving a few minutes early and chatting to the girl. It certainly made me appreciate everything, especially my parents. :D

Alright, well I think I've taken enough of your time for today. :D I have got to get back to cramming more Hinduism facts into my brain (so many deities in that religion...) so I can finish that paper.

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D
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Back from Mexico! Whoo!

Ladies and gentlemen, I made it back in one piece! WHOOOO! Throw your hands in the air, and wave them like you just don't care! Mexico, I've conquered you. Sort of. lol. We were originally going to stay for a few days but since it was so close to my return to college and my mom's return to work (she's on vacation), we had to make it a day trip to Baja California, Mexico. 21 hours up (with only 3 hours of sleep that night), nearly 20 hours in and out of the car. *groan* But, I am HAPPY that I got to go because it was my first trip out of the country in quite a while. I don't mind that we waited an hour and a half to cross the border back into the States. I don't mind that we got lost about 4 times because my father still hasn't learned that I rarely get lost (and I've never been to some of the areas we were in yesterday). I don't even mind that people drive like maniacs and caused some stress (but thankfully not to me! whoo! Driving in large Mexican cities is NOT for the faint of heart). I don't even mind all the road construction and detours we encountered. I had fun... and mostly because of the banter between my parents and I. I tell you, when you put the 3 of us together, you'll bust your gut laughing. Last time we got on a roll, my stomach hurt so much from all the uncontrollable laughing, I had to beg them to stop. But, yeah, it was a lot of fun. The quotes of the day were both from my mother. She looked at my father and said "Your country is ugly (because of the amount of road construction there was)." and then her story about how when I was 3 years old, I told the border immigration guy "I was born in *insert hospital* in *insert district* in Los Angeles!" And when he asked me who my father was I pointed to my dad and said "He is!" Not only that, I said it very matter-of-fact and sassy. I was a very sassy 3 year old. Oy. lol.

I was pleasantly surprised by how many churches and religions displays there were all around Tijuana. Unfortunately, I didn't get to take many pictures because we were mostly in the car, driving with fear. lol. I did get some photos though.

This was a HUGE all white statue of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. You can find out more about it at this site I found. Sorry it's so blurry but we were quite far and it was taken while we were on an extremely bumpy road.


I saw so many beautiful churches, I'm truly bummed I didn't get a chance to go inside... or even stop and take proper pictures. I did manage to get a picture of this church, though I wasn't entirely sure if it was Catholic or not. It had an unusual design as seen here. (It's like a fan on its side.)


There was also this ginormous sign that read "Jesus Christ is the Lord" in Spanish on top of a mountain in front of a family friend's dental office.


I have a special place in Tijuana because it was where I was confirmed. While here in the U.S. you have to wait until you're in your mid-late teens to be confirmed, you can do it at a very young age in Mexico. I think I was one of the oldest being confirmed when I did mine. I was confirmed (although, at the time, against my wishes -- I wanted to be confirmed in the U.S.) when I was about 13 years old. That's also the reason why I don't have a confirmation name/saint. They don't have that tradition in most the Latin/Hispanic countries. I feel like I didn't get properly confirmed but that's another story. :D Anyway, I felt like I was getting little messages of reassurance by noticing all the churches around the city. I was a bit nervous about the trip but seeing everything just made me feel so relaxed and happy. It was fantastic. :D

Alright, well, I have a lot to do so a shorter blog today. Go ahead; celebrate the fact that I won't be writing a lot tonight. lol.

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D
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Where Are the Morally Correct Novels/Movies?; I Dreamt What? Babies?!

My mini road trips were cut short today because the gas prices are INSANE ($4.36 per gallon... with what's left of my misc. spending money? Pfft!) but I did get the most important things done, so WHOOO! :D lol. One of my trips took me to my college, which is a few blocks from the beach. I absolutely love it out there! It felt nice to be out there... and I'm not just saying that because I'm both close to the beach and because I'll be taking courses I'm actually excited about. Actually, I am surprised that I will be able to take Religion courses because they weren't offered when I first applied, many moons ago. And, what I was surprised to see... right across the street there is a Christian Book Store. I had to do a double take. It's interesting to see the area more religious than when I remembered it. I'll have to visit that store on one of my breaks between classes. One thing that store (as well as a conversation I had with my sis) got me thinking about how you don't really hear about many morally correct novels and movies in the mainstream.

Of course, if you look and ask around, you'll find that there are some out there but they don't get much publicity and seem to be more "underground" than anything. It stinks. Sure, there are a few exceptions like the blockbuster that was The Chronicles of Narnia and indie Bella, but there aren't enough. For those reasons, I am writing the novels (well, novel and novel/screenplay) that I'm working on. So far, I've received positive feedback from those who have had a sneak preview of what I've written... which hopefully mean I am doing things correctly. One thing I don't want is the stories to be overly preachy (because I know people tend to stay away from those) but I still want the messages to come out loud and clear without being overbearing. I have yet to finish either novel but I am definitely getting more done than I expected. And, I have to admit, I definitely watch Bella when I need to stay in that particular frame of mind (though the stories are very different). I promise to post a preview of both novels as soon as I'm done with everything, including editing. :)

As for whether I will ever have the screenplay made into an actual film, I am still undecided. I will definitely option it to a certain film company (because I trust them to do the right thing with it) but it's way too early to see what happens. I'll keep y'all updated if anything happens. And, while I'm still on the topic of films, if you want to find more good Catholic/Christian films (or films reviewed from a morally correct point of view), you can check out the site Soul Food Cinema. (See, Mark, I'm giving you free publicity! lol.)

One last thing before I call it a day on today's blog... I had the weirdest dream... in a good-ish way. lol. It wasn't a saint dream but I could've sworn there was a nun in the delivery room. Yes, you read that right. I had a dream that I was not only pregnant, I even gave birth. It was the WEIRDEST thing ever. I went through the whole thing -- asking for epidural and all (which I didn't get but didn't even need because I felt NO pain). In the end, I had the most beautiful little girl (curly brown ringlets and blue eyes). She was gorgeous! Anytime I've had baby dreams (I don't have them often) the babies have always had brown hair and blue or green eyes. I think the last time (2 years ago) I had twins and I named one of them Liam. And I know these dreams weird some of my friends out (the ones who've known me long enough) because I used to say that I didn't want children... at all. This is during my time away from the Church. Now, I think that being able to have children (or adopt children if you're not able to have them biologically) has to be the most beautiful thing in the world. Of course, no plans on having any in the near future because I have yet to find a nice, Catholic man that is crazy enough to even consider marrying me. I don't think anyone's that nuts. lol. Some day. If it's not my vocation to be a wife and mother, I'll hopefully be an elementary school teacher (as a sister) so I can at least teach them well. I love children, I think they're little jewels. I don't understand how some people want to have abortions but I won't jump into that topic because I'll be here forever if I do. lol.

Alright, well, I have a lot to do today... including trying to write more in my novels and read more of St. Teresa's autobiography. Hope everyone has/had a great day. Thanks for reading and God Bless.
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Roadtrips, Relationships, Tests, and Prayers Everywhere.

I FINALLY have a bit of time to write a blog. I told y'all I would be super busy the entire week. Where to start?

Well, I was able to make it through my latest road trip, in 90+ degree weather, in a car with NO AIR CONDITIONING *whimpers* without a single panic attack. OH YEAH! *dances around* It was amazing. The freeways were ridiculously crowded in Orange County (moreso than in Los Angeles, if that's possible) and we were bumper and bumper pretty much all the way back home. Not only that, we got lost a minimum of 6 - 7 times because we were given crummy directions and got lost for a great while. 14 hours, countless road turns, one big accident that forced all the cars to get off the freeway, several hours outside in the heat, and a total of 5 hours of sleep... until I was able to get home and jump on my bed. lol. I literally ran to my bed, jumped on it and yelled "I love you"... I was SO tired but incredibly happy that I'd survived in one piece. It totally helped that my sis called and entertained me during the last miles between the OC and and first couple of L.A. county lines. I hope that the next road trip is as successful (in the panic attack area) but with less traffic and less getting lost. lol.

So, a few days ago I started writing this blog about relationship and all these things because of the purity ring (it's NOT an engagement ring) that my sis gave me for my birthday. (It made me get all philosophical). Well, I decided not to post it because I remembered that I do have reader under about 16 and I didn't want to be as blunt as I would've with the older readers. So, to put all that I wanted to say in a rated G nutshell... I don't understand why we women are expected to act and dress provocatively nor why, once we reach a certain age, romantic relationships and marriage are pressured onto us. It's just dumb. I really hope that less and less girls listen to what society expects from us because society is one messed up deal. Priorities are not where they should be. I read a list on the Roman Catholic (Global) group and I wanted to share this with any young girls and women reading my blog (and I know a few that do). I truly hope women listen to those words that were written by Kristen Wellman. She's a smart woman and I completely agree with everything that was written. Please go click on this link to read it for yourselves. :D Moving away from this topic (which I hope to someday write in detail about)...

I am going to spend the next 2 weeks really studying and brushing up on some things I will need to refresh my brain on for upcoming exams. Since I didn't decide until last week (really... I'm the most indecisive person you'll ever meet) what school I was going to be attending, I didn't know whether or not I would be tested on certain subjects. Well, I am. I know I won't be tested in English since I've already passed the English 101s and have taken English Lit but I will be tested on Math as well as a Foreign Language of my choice. I could easily go down the "I'll test for Spanish" since I speak, read and write it fluently. That's the easy path to take. I could brush up on the very little French I know and take a French test. I could also pick a completely different language I don't know and try my best to learn at least the simplest things I can and hope it'll help me not be put into the lowest remedial class possible. lol. I was thinking about taking Danish at a nearby language institute in honor of my awesome boyfriend who's from Denmark (Hey Sabrina... she shoots, she scores! HAHAHA!) but I'm told it's a really hard language to learn so maybe I'll just stick to French. Either way, I will be a mean, lean, studying machine for the rest of this month and early into next month. I will be taking two off days before and after my birthday because, who wants to study on their birthday? Not me! lol. Fingers crossed that I do well.

Another thing I have my fingers crossed on... that my missing Mass today isn't a mortal sin, and that it's (at most) venial. See, I woke up on time to go to the early English Mass but I'd been sick (stomach problems) all night and morning long and I honestly wouldn't have made it through the entire thing. That with the added sleepiness I had (haven't slept enough hours for about 2 weeks now)... I didn't even make it through the Pope Benedict XVI's live Mass in Genoa (Italy) that I was watching on EWTN! (quick note: I will hopefully write about all the Pope dreams I've had in the next blog). I ended up falling asleep for another hour or two. I did, however, do the sign of the cross when I woke up and heard the Pope had finished Mass, and then heard another priest bless the viewers. lol. I only seem to wake up when that happens and I do it without thinking. I LOVE doing that. It's such an awesome habit I've gotten. By that time, it was really hot (it was probably over 100 degrees Fahrenheit today) and I knew dad would've have taken me to Mass anymore. Also, I was still very nauseous so I probably wouldn't have made it through the next English Mass. :( See, normally I would tell my dad to at least drop me off at Mass but I know the hot weather really wreaks havoc on him, physically, and since he doesn't go inside the Church (no matter what I say), I know he wouldn't have made it through the entire hour of Mass in the heat. He's been pretty sick because of the heat and I didn't want to add to it. I really hope my missing Mass isn't a mortal sin. Either way, I'll no doubt try to go to my parish as soon as I can to talk to a priest about that. Have a mini confession. I tell ya, I won't make it through next Saturday with a potential mortal sin hanging over my head. Oh, and I stupidly said the Lord's name in vain (again, unintentionally) when Beckham was tackled really nasty during the L.A. Galaxy v Dallas game today. I honestly thought Becks was going to be injured. Thank goodness he wasn't.

OH! Something that I'm VERY happy about... well, two things... I was able to pray the Rosary in front of many people (I do it in hopes that others will as well) when waiting to see the doctor on Friday AND I gave a prayer card to someone who really needed on a different day. See, I said the Rosary because I wasn't feeling too well, and was feeling kind of antsy. It's something I do. After I was done, I walked around with the rosary still in my hand... and I LOVED it. I love holding it. :D

About a week or two ago, I heard from my mom that a coworker of hers was having problems with her husband who tried to commit suicide for the second time. He suffers from depression among other things. I immediately said I wanted to give my mom the extra St. Dymphna so that she could pass it to her coworker's husband. I kept forgetting until one day, last week, when I knew I'd be able to give it to my mom so she could pass it along. Well, I ended up giving the prayer card to the man himself! I went to the hospital and personally gave it to him. I was overjoyed that as soon as I gave it to him, he prayed it and thanked me for it. I heard he hadn't been up to talking to anyone for days so I felt blessed being able to not only give him the prayer card, but be well received by him. Mom and I told him to pray to St. Dymphna, for her intercession, and that she'd help him. She (St. Dymphna) has helped me through some doozies when my anxiety's been amped up, and since she covers all mental and nervous illnesses, I know she'll help him! I haven't seen him since but my mom's seen him and she says he keeps it by his bedside and that he reads it every day, twice a day. It makes me VERY happy to hear that. In fact, I almost cried when I heard that he'd been grateful that I'd personally gone to give him the prayer card. He's actually touched that I would do that... especially since I'm a stranger to him. What he doesn't know is that it's by absolute pleasure to do it! I feel obligated to do it, but obligated in a good way. I would honestly do it for anyone who I heard was in a similar situation, stranger or friend. I don't say this to brag, like "Ooh, look at me... I'm SUCH a good person." Not at all. I write it because I want people to know that it is possible to do something for someone you don't know and have it mean something to them. I think people underestimate that the "littlest" things they do, including praying for a person, is amazing. And I don't even think about how it makes ME feel... the fact that it's given him hope is all that matters. I honestly don't care about personal profit (even if it's just emotional satisfaction) as long as it makes a difference in someone else's life. And isn't that basically what we should be doing? I don't know... maybe it's because I've always been this way (friends say I'm very motherly) but I feel like we all have to help those who aren't as well off as we are. Oh boy, that sounded very preachy and kind of conceited. lol. That was honestly not my intention. I'll shut up on the topic now!

Alright, well, I have a LONG day ahead of me again tomorrow *groan* and a ton of lost sleep to catch up on so I should end this blog. Oh... but before I do, can we give the Galaxy a round of applause for beating Dallas at their (Dallas') home stadium for the first time in 4 years?! *claps* 5-1, baby! I'm so proud of my Galaxy men! Okay, well, now... as always, thanks for reading and God Bless. ;D
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Writers Conference, Hooray for Sisters!, and Masses for Saints.

I am SO excited about the Catholic Writers Conference that starts tomorrow. It's a week long conference and I am attending at least one event each day. I hope it'll help me with my novels -- the one I'm working on now and future ones. I have to get up a bit early for the first event but it'll be worth it. :D *singing* I'm excited! I'm excited! lol. Hopefully I'll be able to make all the events but who knows. I might get busy with other things. My schedule's been SO packed lately... eesh. lol. It's a good thing though. :D Anyway, I probably won't write anything about the conference -- like my thoughts on it -- until it's over 'cause, well, it's just logical. lol. :D Fingers crossed, the whole thing will go smoothly. :D

Have I mentioned how AWESOME my sis is? Best. Sister. EVER!!! She's seriously like Super Sis! She can make me smile when I feel my absolute worst. She can be silly with me, which is what I need! lol. And she's helped me realize my dream of having a certain ring (which I will hopefully write about in a future blog) on my finger! She understands me when no one else does and she's just there for me. Hooray for sisters! :D And HEEEEEEEEEEEY SIS (in case she reads this :D). *big hug!*

Yesterday I went to church and asked to have two Masses dedicated -- one for Our Lady of Guadalupe, the other for St. Jude Thaddeus -- as my way of saying THANK YOU to them for their intercessions. I didn't expect them to be SO expensive though. I usually pay $5 per dedication at another church but since I'm now attending a new one, closer to my house, I went there. $10 each dedication. YOWZA! Next time, I'm going back to my old parish -- don't care the distance -- and getting it done there. It's not that I'm cheap... it's that $10 per Mass is EXPENSIVE. If someone pays more, please let me know. I honestly hadn't heard of it being more than $5 anywhere else. Right now, I'm very careful about money because I have to pay my tuition soon (got $24,000 to spare? lol), I'm traveling soon, and I have expenses to pay. Simple as that. I don't really won't wish I could take it back and go elsewhere for the Masses. What's done is done and they both deserve to have Thanks giving Masses. :D

Alright, well, I am watching the second to last episode of Rock the Cradle. Have I mentioned how much I LOVE Crosby Loggins! MAN BETTER WIN THE COMPETITION! :D lol. I have an early day tomorrow so I should go. :D As always, thanks for reading and God Bless.
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The Virgin Mary; Getting Ready for Lent.

On the previous post I wrote about how I'd had a dream where my father had told me to pray to the Virgin Mary. That dream really stuck with me (not the first time I have dream about her, either). Well, today, after I went to confessions I stopped by the table where they have the bulletins and other things. I normally wouldn't do this because the church I went to confessions isn't the one I normally attend mass (I attend mass at a parish a few minutes from my home). For some reason, though, I just gravitated towards the table. Seriously, I don't even remember thinking I wanted to see the bulletins; I just walked over. When I got there, I notice this thing that looked like a booklet with the Virgin Mary's image on it. I thought it was a prayer book (I've seen everything from booklets to prayer cards out for people to take for free) and I was like "Ooh, prayer book. This would be great to take home and read." When I went to open it, I saw that it wasn't a prayer book but the story of St. Catherine Labouré and the Miraculous Medal. Not only that, there was this necklace with a medal inside of it. I looked around at looked at the people, because I thought someone must have left it accidentally, but no one said or did anything. I asked my dad if he thought it was one of the free things the parish sometimes gives away (they've been known to give things like this away) and he said that it must've been because it was amongst the fliers and other things that the parish puts out for people to take home with them. So, I brought it home with me. I'm still worried that it was someone else's and that I've just stolen something unintentionally, but dad says it wouldn't be there if it wasn't meant to be there. And, hey, I checked to see if it belonged to anyone and no one said anything. Also, there was no price on it, so it must've been put out intentionally.

The awesome part about all of that is that when I did penance and was praying the Hail Mary's in front of the tabernacle, I had an image of Mary that looked like the one on the front of the booklet with the medal. I can't even begin to describe this feeling I got when I said my last Hail Mary... it was so peaceful and, as silly as it might sound, I felt like my spirit had been lifted up by her. What I asked God when I prayed, for a sign, seems to have come in the form of me finding the medal. Or, at least that is what I think. I just think it's awesome. I'm going to dedicate a good portion of Lent to praying to Our Mother (that's what I call her) and learning more about different ways she's appeared to saints (like in the form of Our Lady of Guadalupe). I have a feeling that she will be able to help me and to shed light on some things I am worried/thinking about. I'm going to have the medal blessed, hopefully soon, and I'll definitely carry it everywhere with me.

And, with Lent starting in a few days, I've decided to give up one more thing... and for good. I am giving up my superstitions. I know we shouldn't be superstitious but I have a few things I'm careful about so I'm going to get rid of them during Lent. Whoo! And, man, I can't believe Lent is so early this year. I didn't have enough time to prepare myself but I guess I'm more ready this year than I've ever been, which is good. :D

Alright, well, it's nearly 1 in the morning and I have to get up early for mass so... 'til next time, thanks for ready and God bless. :D

Clean-a-thon: Part Deux, Music, Evening Mass and "Bella".

I seem to have passed on the clean-a-thon bug to a few people now... including my parents. Haha, I'm sorry!! I didn't know the whole concept of having "Spring Cleaning" in January would catch on! lol. I don't feel guilty about it either. Oh no. I've been on my parents case about throwing some things out and it took them years to do it but they finally did and I couldn't be happier. :D If you don't like cleaning and have caught the bug, I'm sorry (and I say that with my Canadian accent, too). On the bright side of all this, at least now people will have cleaner and more clutter-free homes. get rid of the material things you don't need, man (and woman). :D

For those who personally know me, it is absolutely no shock when I say I love music. In fact, saying it like that is an understatement. For as long as I can remember, my house has been filled with music. My mom listened to Elvis, The Beatles, Chuck Berry, The Beach Boys, and a lot of oldies. My dad's more into traditional music. My eldest brother introduced me to The Doors, Queen, and classic rock. I discovered classical music, the Spanish guitar and jazz on my own. Needless to say, I love all most genres because I've grown up listening to them. I grew up playing (or attempting to play) different instruments. I've been singing since I was little. I've been dancing for as long as I've been able to sit up on my own. I was taught by the best and a learn some things on my own. Despite of all of that, it has been taking a back seat to everything else lately. For the first time in months I sang... and I mean really sang. I hit notes I thought I no longer could. It was almost as though I'd never stopped... and I absolutely loved that feeling. Singing at the top of my lungs, listening to the music blaring... I definitely missed it. I haven't played my guitar since I started growing out my nails but I know if I pick it up again, it'll still feel like it's an extension of who I am. I hope I never go through an extended period where it has to, once again, take a back seat to anything. I hope that everyone has something like this in their life -- something that brings them pure utter joy no matter how low they may be feeling. Thanks to music, and my being able to sing once again, I feel like my old self... the person I was before I got sick... and before my father got sick as well. *happy sigh*

Another good experience I had today... going to evening mass. What made it awesome was the fact that the young Polish priest at my parish gave the mass in Spanish. I'd never heard him speak Spanish (although dad had) and was surprised how well he spoke it. Very fluent. I don't why I got a kick out of it but I did. What was funny was that during the mass I was thinking to myself "Maybe I'm supposed to be a nun" and then he started talking about praying for those who are in the church -- priests and nuns included. Then I though to myself "But I really want to have a family some day. Maybe I'll just stick to writing and try to leave my mark that way" when I heard him say that we should pray to those who weren't entering vocations within the church but wanted to promote it. I thought to myself "He's reading my mind!" lol. It was the funniest thing. He mentioned praying for the immigrants that are having a hard time, which is something I am involving myself in; not just prayers for them but writing about the flip side of that -- having to watch family and friends being discriminated against, even if they are legally here, by immigration officials.

Another thing he mentioned was the movie "Bella" which I still haven't seen (and won't until they DVD comes out because they're not playing it anywhere nearby anymore). Anyway, he was telling everyone that we should go see it because of the great pro-life message the film gives. I have heard it's a beautiful film so I hope I get it from Netflix when it comes out. I'm actually really excited to see the movie. Here's the trailer for those who haven't seen it yet:



And apparently the trailer doesn't do it justice. A lot of good has come out of this movie... including the main actor, Eduardo Verastegui, inspiring a couple not to through with a planned abortion... and then naming their child after him. You can read more about that story here.

I should probably call it a day on the blog because I am starting to get that sore throat that's been bugging me for a few days now. If it's a cold, it's taking a while to hit. I am still hoping it's allergies. *crosses fingers*

For now... thanks for reading and God Bless. :D

Weather, Mass, JPII, GodTube, That Catholic Show and Dreams.

So, my cold -- or possible cold -- continues to rear it's ugly little head. Dad's also starting to get cold symptoms so if we both get a cold, it's because mom brought it home last week. lol. We're not blaming her, though. She works in a hospital so stuff like that is bound to happen. I'm still hoping it's just allergies, which would make sense because it's been unusually warm and windy lately (it was 70 degrees fahrenheit yesterday, a little warmer today). Even as I was sitting in church, during mass, I had to (discreetly) take a sip of water because it felt really warm. I should also mention I went to the noon mass (the second and last mass in English on Sundays) so of course it was at it's warmest. Last night was the first time in months I had to sleep without my blanket because it wasn't cold. Hopefully it won't be too cold tonight... which I doubt it will be because it's supposed to be 75 degrees tomorrow. *groan* This is why people get sick... because the weather keeps on changing without warning.

Even though I was really thirsty and warm in mass, I was very happy that I finally made it through an entire thing without either one of my parents getting sick, or me getting sick. I was so stoked that I was finally able to attend the English mass, too, because I usually go to the Spanish one with my parents. My parents also went with me, which was even better. It had been years since I'd gone to an English mass and I sure missed it. I'm most likely going to attend more of them, but I wouldn't be surprised if I went by myself because of the language thing (though my parents speak English, they're not fluent). One of the things I loved about the noon mass was how lovely the stained glass windows looked at my parish. I took a picture of the one that was facing west to share:


There are different windows but I decided to share this one because I love how it looks in the noon time sunlight. :D Tomorrow we're going to another late evening mass so I'll be looking at the windows to see how they look.

I'm going to share the following video of the late Pope John Paul II (which is in Italian, sorry) because I just love(d) watching him speak.

What a sweet man. Even though he was the only Pope I'd known in my lifetime (prior to his passing, I mean), I feel that he has been one of the most beloved Popes. And, did you see him waving his hands in the air with all the youngsters? Cute! It'll be 3 years, this April, since his passing and he still really missed. It's a good thing that GodTube exists so I can always search for more videos of him, and other religious things.

Ah, yes... GodTube. It's basically youtube for religion. It's mainly Christian but more and more Catholics are making their presence known. I've known about this website for a while now but today has been the second time I've actually visited it. It's definitely interesting -- though I don't appreciate some of the anti-Catholicism videos I've come across. There are some really funny videos I watched last time. I wonder if they have That Catholic Show on the site.

That Catholic Show is AWESOME! It's done by the same husband and wife team that does the Rosary Army podcast (both That Catholic Show and Rosary Army can be found on iTunes or sqpn.com). I think their videos are great, especially for those who don't know much about the Catholic faith. Here's just a sample of the type of videos they do:

To watch more, click on the link above or on the SQPN link on the righthand side under Favorite Websites.

I feel like this blog is getting too long so just a quick little story about yet another awesome, but scary, dream I had last night. So, last night I had a dream that there was something evil in the house -- which was almost pitch black for some reason. I had this white crystal cupped in my hands, which was almost blindingly white, and I went around the house with it touching different things to make the darkness go away. I finished in the living room (at the location where my PC is in real life) and I got on my knees and touched this thing (I forgot what it was) with the crystal and the next thing I knew, all the darkness had disappeared. I went to look outside, and I saw this little boy (who was about 7 years old and had this semi-long blonde hair) who was holding something white in his hands as well (I do remember it was an animal; possibly a dove) and he looked up at me and asked me where another little girl was. I told him I hadn't seen her. I knew he'd known what I'd just done (getting rid of the darkness in my house) and, still looking at me, said something along the lines of "I believe in you" but in Spanish. At that moment, I thought to myself "Oh my... that's the Child Jesus..." and he just smiled at me. I woke up shortly after that. No clue why I keep having these dreams about saints, and now the Child Jesus, but I am sure glad I did. It definitely beats having other types of dreams.

Okay, well, I still have to eat (it's almost 7:30 p.m.) and I haven't prayed the Rosary today (bad me!) so I am going to try to get those things done before I pass out from the icky, fatigued feeling.

Thanks for reading and God Bless. :D

Big Brother, Post Office Mayhem, and Semester Abroad.

Today was a very happy day because my big brother came to pay a surprise visit. It was funny; just as my dad was leaving and walking out the door, my bro just popped up and said hi. Heehee. He also came bearing gifts from his holiday vacation in Mexico. He spent a few weeks visiting family out there. It's always nice to hear how everyone's doing 'cause I haven't been out there since I was about 12 years old. He says that, unfortunately, it's getting worse in terms of crime and police violence. It's so sad to hear that because (where my dad's from) it's such a quaint little town with the most beautiful church and town square. Sounds like we should avoid visiting, though, because it's not safe. Hopefully things will get better when/if I decide to go visit my dad's side of the family. It's incredibly sad that we don't just hear about what's going from family; we hear it on the news all the time. :( Let's just hope the little town doesn't super crowded with people (at least, not bad people) like a certain post office I know.

I don't know what's going on with the post office. Last October, I had an invite (from the U.K.) to an event but it arrived a month after the event. I should probably mention that it was sent in advance, too. One of my best friends, who's also in the U.K., sent me a Christmas card and it's been 3 weeks and I haven't gotten anything. That's not all. Last month (and the month before) we didn't get our mail delivered for weeks and I'd have to call and complain. I hate being a hassle but I had important things like bills that needed to be paid. The person in charge of mail distribution got to know me very well from all the calling I did. lol. They were never mad at me for doing it, which is good. If you want to go to the post office near my home it's better to do it mid-morning when there's no people because it gets PACKED very early and in the afternoon. I had to send some packages today and the line was to the door and then it looped around a bit. It was insane. It didn't help that it was freezing outside. Luckily I was dressed warm enough not to stand there shaking but, oy! It's always a nightmare going there because of the long lines. I have to go back tomorrow (oh yes, more packages to send) and I am not exactly looking forward to it. Hopefully I can go earlier... and this time I won't wear my stiletto boots. I only had them on for about 30 minutes but my feet aren't too happy with me. lol. I'm not used to heels (haven't worn any since New Year 2007) but those boots are so warm... I made the sacrifice. lol.

Another sacrifice I will be making in a couple of months... leaving my beloved Queen sized bed for a semester abroad. Oh, dear comfy bed, I shall miss you. lol. It's going to be completely worth it, though. I am mostly likely going to head out to Europe (I still have to choose a school and let them know a.s.a.p.) It looks like I'm mostly likely going to head out to Rome because of my major (Religious Studies with an emphasis on Catholicism). I am going to have to brush up on my Italian -- and learn some self defense, lol -- but being that close to the Vatican is going to be worth it. I was actually planning on going out there once I graduated but now I have the perfect opportunity/excuse to go beforehand so... Score! lol. I also want to take a trip up to Assisi while I'm out there. I'm now a little too excited now. lol. I think I'm going to go do a happy dance so I'm going to end this blog now.

Hope everyone's keeping warm. Thanks for reading and God Bless.