Wednesday, March 31, 2010

It Was Nice While It Lasted

Today is the last day of my Spring Break because I am going to rededicate myself to my schoolwork tomorrow. I have one paper due tomorrow night and another due on Monday (which I want to finish early). Since my Art Appreciation class ends next Friday (the 10th) I want to study for the final so I finish it earlier. Just a couple more weeks of this... I hope. lol. Don't expect me to write much until probably Sunday. I will keep y'all updated though. :D

I hope everyone is having a good week thus far. And, thank you for the prayers. The temptations keep coming but it's so much easier now; it's no longer a struggle for me. :D

P.S. Has anyone noticed that a majority of us college students didn't have a proper Spring Break this year? Almost everyone I know (who's still in college) is working on at least one paper. It's a conspiracy, I tell you... lol. ;)

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

You Give Me Fever

Do I smell a conspiracy? We're days away from Holy Thursday and I, of course, have a low grade fever. It was at 99.7 last time I checked. This is my first fever since about late last year (I want to say October, if not as early as July-August) but still... argh! Ash Wednesday? Stuck in bed because of pain. Palm Sunday? Anxiety and general weakness that prevented me from walking to Mass. Are you kidding me? *sigh* I hope I, at least, make it to Easter Sunday's Mass. *hopes and prays* If I still have a fever by then, I am asking St. Benedict of Nursia for his intercession. After all, he's the patron saint against fevers. Hopefully he'll intercede for me so that I can at least go to Mass. Even if it's for that hour and a half (I am including walking time), I'll take it.

Anyway, no entry tonight. I will hopefully post last Sunday and Monday's posts when I feel well enough. In the meantime, you can ask me any question here. May keep me entertained if I get stuck in bed.

Hope everyone is having a good week thus far. :)

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless.

Monday, March 29, 2010

Music Monday: Novel Playlist

As I get ready to send my novel off to proofreading (yes, the time has finally come... and just a month away from the deadline), I thought I'd share with y'all a short novel playlist. Some of the songs were mentioned in the novel, others helped put me in the right state of mind when writing for each character or for specific chapters. The first one, "Bad Sun" by the Bravery is what has become known (amongst my group of friends) as Will and Lina's theme song.

The songs are not in a particular order, really, except The Bravery and Grizzly Bear are the first two artists because I listened to them (moreso Grizzly Bear than any other artist) during the last couple of weeks of writing. I just added them as I remembered which artists I listened/listen to. As you will see, the songs are all over the musical spectrum because the two characters aren't alike. It'll be interesting if y'all can guess which songs belong to Will and which belong to Lina's portion of the novel (it's split into two; Will is the main focus of the first half, Lina of the second). If you know what the novel is about, it'll be easier for you. :D

And for the record, I still don't have a title for the novel; it's still currently titled "Will and Lina" though that may change at any moment. :D Alright, without further ado, the novel playlist.

Get a playlist! Standalone player Get Ringtones

The songs are clues... but none about the ending. ;) They don't ever offer clues about the relationship (if there is one) between Will and Lina. :D Be my guest and take a guess at which songs are about who/what. :D

Alright, I am going to enjoy my first day of Spring Break.

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Palm Sunday Patience

This is the first Palm Sunday in which I have missed Mass. Unfortunately, I felt too weak to walk, and the fact that I didn't sleep well has made the anxiety bothersome. *sigh* I am getting really tired of this whole "missing Mass" thing. I will once again blame the enemy for it, because (what a coincidence) I hadn't felt week or sick until today. *palmface* (No pun intended.)

One thing I need to do today is have a lot of patience with my classmates. One of them said, with great confidence, that Muhammad and the Quran came before Jesus Christ and the Bible. A majority of my classmates are also either doubting the Bible and/or saying that the Quran is more accurate. There is always one class in which people gang up on Christianity. Last Spring, it was Philosophy of World Religions. Last semester was Philosophy of Monotheistic Religions. This semester it's Intro to World History. Hopefully this trend will not continue next year.

I also need to have patience with the exam taking process. I studied more than I usually do... and I received a 4/10 on this quiz. Why such a long grade? Because I answered the correct answers regarding Christianity and Judaism, and not the wrong answers the secular professors want me to swallow. Are... you... kidding... me? *sigh* Oh well, if I don't do too well in this class... I'll take it. Just like Phil. of Mono. Religions, in which I received a C despite doing pretty well, I will refuse to compromise my beliefs just to earn a good grade. Thankfully this is just a throw away class that won't count so... yeah. :D

Alright, I still have to study (it never ends).

I hope everyone had a great Palm Sunday. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Getting Ready for Holy Week

Confession? Check. Homework done? Nearly Check; I have one more class to finish. (Side note: Finally!!! I'm even ahead of schedule in some courses.) Books that will help me stay on track during Holy Week? Check. All systems are good to go.

As I wrote yesterday, I had to put some thought into what I needed to do to ease the temptations I kept getting getting. One was easier than I thought (thank God for that!) and other was pretty hard because it meant saying goodbye to an old friend. In the long run, it was the best decision I could've made... but it's going to be hard. As long as I do what is right, I'll be okay. Thankfully it was clean break and there was no drama involved, which will hopefully make the transition smoother. I'm not just looking for easy, but you have to agree that it's quite preferable to chaos.

Going to confession was just what I needed. It gave me a chance to really thinks thoroughly as well as ask God for His help during this time. I also got a chance to pray both the Rosary and the Chaplet of the Divine Mercy while I waited to be picked up. Since my mom is in Mexico, I had my transportation service pick me up and drop me back home.

I think I'm ready for Holy Week. I have the schedule of Mass times (many of which I will have to go by myself since they are in the morning when my mom works.) I have eliminated the sources of my temptations. To quote Spongebob Squarepants "I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready!" lol. What is everyone doing for Holy Week? I'm always interesting to hear what others do, because it's different according to the cultural traditions one grew up with.

Alright, I need to finish cleaning up around my casa. Rebecca from Modestia is coming over for a girls night in movie marathon. One of the stipulations for my staying behind in L.A. while my mom went to Mexico was that I had to have a (girl) friend stay overnight; it would ease my mother's mind. Yes, even though her daughter is an adult, she still worries. At least I'll be in good company. :D

I hope everyone has a great weekend. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless!

Friday, March 26, 2010

Still Fighting Temptations

This Lent has been HARD for me because I've been fighting all kinds of temptations to do really stupid things. Of course, I think that because it is Lent I am having a really hard time. You-know-who is trying hiss hardest to make me slip, and I almost have a couple of times. I haven't experienced this during Lent... or in a long time, really. I'm usually cautious but I've had really bad urges to do some reckless things. It's very unlike myself. A big reason why I have been trying to focus on my schoolwork (to the point where it consumes a majority of my time) is because it'll distract my mind from wandering elsewhere. I have also been trying to work on the novel and baking different kinds of goods I've never tried to make in attempt to thwart any urges that may come. It's all really frustrating!

I haven't really asked St. Michael the Archangel for many intercessions (just twice, if memory serves me right) but I think I may have to because this is all getting ridiculous. I refuse to let these things alter my life. If anyone can spare a prayer intention, I'd appreciate it. I'm going really nuts here. I can't even imagine how bad my confession this week will be. *shudders*

Anyone else having a hard Lent or am I only one? Maybe there should be some sort of support group during this time of the year -- just to make sure none of us slip in a banana peel placed by the enemy.

Alright, I'm going to try to figure out what to do. :-/

Until next time, thanks for reading and God Bless!

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Feast of The Annunciation

Happy feast of the Annunciation! As a friend wrote on Facebook, only 9 more months until Christmas. Did anyone else make that connection? A lot of people are still figuring it out. lol.

Today we celebrate the day that the St. Gabriel the Archangel let Our Blessed Mother know she was to be the mother of the Son of God. This has to be one of my favorite feast days of the year. I've always felt a special connection to the Blessed Virgin Mary, (though I don't think I have been a good daughter, but that's another story) and the fact that today reminds us of the great love she had for God, and subsequently for us.

When I pray the Rosary of Mondays and Saturdays (the days when we have the Joyful Mysteries), I am quite frequently in awe every time I start the first mystery -- the Annunciation. Though I've prayed the Rosary countless times, and it never changes in terms of the prayers said, there is something about this particular mystery that has reduced me to tears... and has reminded me of the sacrifice Our Lord has done for us. It also reminds me to keep giving thanks to Our Blessed Mother for all she did, and has done, for us as well.

Why not praying the Rosary today, in honor of this wonderful feast day? Or, better yet, why not do something nice for your mom? It doesn't have to be some grand gesture. Something as simple washing the dishes or helping her carry something is more than enough. If you can't be with your mother today, why not thank God for both of your mothers -- the one that gave birth to/raised/adopted you and our Heavenly Mother who is always looking out for us?

And now, I'm going to take my own suggestions and do something nice for my own mother. :D

I hope everyone has had a good week thus far!

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Big Announcement Hints

Since I am once again swamped with homework (last time for a couple of weeks... thank God!), I won't be able to post a proper entry. I will, however, post a couple of hints (spoilers, if you'd like to call them that) regarding my big announcement.

First hint: It involves writing. (I can already hear a few smart aleck friends saying "When does it not?" lol)

Second hint: A second party is involved... but said second party won't be co-writing with me.

Third hint: If you had asked me what path I wanted my career to take, I would've answered "this one."

Feel free to guess. I think I will be making some sort of formal announcement in the next couple of weeks -- I'm just waiting to get certain details so y'all can have all the information at once. :D

And now, if you'll excuse me, I am going to rest before diving back into the homework. Not feeling too great so I need breaks often.

Oh, btw, anyone guess which school I mentioned in my post yesterday? I will eventually post pictures of my new school. :D

Until next time, thanks for reading and God Bless.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Finally, a Good Day: I Got Accepted!

As you might've guessed from the title of the post, I have been accepted for transfer to one of the three universities/colleges I have applied to. Oh, I didn't mention this? Yeah. I didn't want to say which schools I applied to until I got word (acceptance or rejection) from them. I will give hints: two of them are here in Southern California (one Catholic, the other a State university) and the third was my dream university (the University of British Columbia in Vancouver, Canada). I don't have to think about where I'm going to attend. I already made plans on accepting the admissions offer from this particular school.

I'm also happy to say that I received a phone call from the counselor in charge of transfer admissions to let me know that because of my GPA (nerd alert! nerd alert!), I was eligible for some of their bigger scholarships. Thank God that I may get a good amount because this school is expensive (and that now narrows it down to the private, Catholic college and UBC) and I don't want to graduate with such a huge debt -- especially since I am paying for it myself.

Needless to say, I am HAPPY! I wasn't sure I would get in because of the increasingly competitive students applying for next Fall, but I am glad that my hard work has paid off thus far. I ended up baking my first vegan cake (since I am allergic to both dairy and eggs) in celebration... and it came out awesome, if I do say so myself. lol.

Hopefully all of this is the start of something better because I've had such a hellish couple of years (2006 to the present). *fingers crossed*

Alright, that's all for now. I am still on that quest to finish everything early so I can have a longer Spring Break vacation. Whoo hoo! :D

I hope everyone is doing well. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless!

Monday, March 22, 2010

Celebrating Dad's Birthday; Music Monday

This is the last picture I took of my dad, about a year ago this month. It's really hard to believe that this was taken on one of our last road trips together (if you've read this blog long enough, you'd know that he and I use to take them quite often.) It's harder to believe that it's been 8 months since he passed away, 4 months to the day that Fr. Leo passed away as well. It's been a hard day for those two reasons... but mainly because today would have been his 67th birthday.

We went to the cemetery in the afternoon to leave some flowers (including red roses since his favorite color was red). Our neighbor, with whom he was friends with, took us. I fought really hard to keep the tears in the entire time we were there. I wish I could say the same thing for the rest of the day. I am lucky that I had cognitive-behavioral therapy (since I don't take medication for the anxiety, I opted for this) because I was able to let out everything I was feeling today.

I remember that at this time last year, I was mad at dad for not celebrating his birthday with us -- first time he hadn't. I understood that he wanted to be with his family (not knowing it would be for the last time) but I didn't like that mom and I were left behind because of school and work. Of course I was happy when he was back and had surprised me with a chapel veil that I have planned not to wear until my wedding day. (Btw, if you can't find the post with the chapel veil on here, and if you're on my Facebook list, you can see the pictures there.)

After thinking about everything, I am content that I did everything that I could for my dad in his final days... but I am also still missing him. It's still too soon for that to really go away. I'm still in mourning (and my therapist even believes that's what's causing my slight decline in grades.) I don't think I would've done much different, other than telling him that I loved him every single day.

It's really easy for us as children (because we will always be children to our parents) to hold grudges and rebel against what our parents want... even easier when what they want isn't best for us. I did my fair share of that with my dad (especially as a teenager), but I look back at everything and I'm overall happy with everything. I made an effort to get to know him better, though it was really hard, and I finally did before he passed away. Maybe I can a really forgiving person or maybe my love for him was/is just too great, but I can actually celebrate his birthday without having an ill feelings about him.

And in honor of his birthday, I want to share a song that remind me of him. It's called "This is Not the End" by The Bravery. I listen to The Bravery often when I am working on my novel and this song always reminds me of what I feel about my dad and his passing.

I am emotionally exhausted from the day (crying will take a lot out of you) so I am going to end this entry. Before I do, I just want to say... hug your parents. If you're not a big physical family, just thank them for everything they've done for you. It's really hard losing a parent and I don't want any of you to regret not ever saying anything in appreciation to them. If anything, thank God that they brought you into this world. :)

I hope everyone had a painless Monday (I know how hard this day is for a majority of us.)

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Missing Mass (Again) This Weekend

I absolutely hate missing Mass. Unfortunately, either the crazy weather or something has been preventing me from attending Mass regularly. That's what happens when you lack transportation. Sometimes it's been pleasantly nice outside, but cold enough to keep indoors (walking the two miles to and from Mass in the cold is very sometimes bad for me and I end up in major pain.) Today's culprit: my anxiety and my mother's flu.

Anyone who knows me knows that if one of my parents were to be sick, I'd give any outing to stay at home to take care of them. I did this with my dad when he was alive and I've done it with my mom for as long as I can remember. It's just in my nature to do this -- I love to take care of people when they're sick and/or unable to do something. There have been a couple of times where I still went to Mass even though one of my parents was sick... but that was when I had both of them in the house. Now that it's just mom and I, and considering how sick she was today, I decided to stay at home and make sure she was alright.

I'll admit that part of the decision was also, like I said, based on the fact that my anxiety's been a pain in the tush lately. It's not bad enough to keep me from Mass (if I had transportation) but I do feel weak enough to be unsure if I'd make the two mile walk. For those of you who didn't know: anxiety and depression is physically debilitating at times.

So, as much as I hate missing Mass, I am trying not to beat myself too much because it's not like I wanted to miss Mass. I loathe it. I confess it every time I do miss Mass (and every time the priest tells me that it wasn't a sin because it was out of my control.) I am going to make start offering up the missed Masses (and by subsequent frustration/sadness) to the souls in purgatory. Trust me, I've been known to openly weep in front of everyone when I can't go to Mass.

I have the option of watching Mass via EWTN en Español but sometimes it doesn't seem like enough. Any tips/suggestions on what to do when you (I) miss Mass? All are welcomed and appreciated.

Alright, I think that's all the (sort of) ranting I can do. lol.

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Reflection of the Day

I fought and I lost... this week's fight against my homework that is. I didn't even get a chance to finish either my Humanities paper (though I did read and write quite a bit) nor a discussion thread for my Creative Writing course. I finished everything for my Art Appreciation course -- a week early no less, and my History homework isn't due until tomorrow so I have time to finish (just 20 pages and then a quiz plus discussion to write.) Normally I would've beat myself up for it but I didn't this time. I will remember what several priests have told me and take my parents' advice: I will stop being so hard on myself and be proud that I did all that I could. Unfortunately, being sick in bed for a good part of this week (as well as last) didn't help but I won't use that as an excuse. I am just happy that I tried (though I know I could've tried harder) and that I didn't resort to cheating. If I fail this week's assignments (oh boy, that's going to bring down my Humanities grade quite a bit, not so much Writing) then that's life. I have always been an overachiever and have done well academically but this year has been a nightmare.

Perhaps this is all a blessing in disguise. I've always been overly confident about my academic career and maybe this is all to teach me that failure (well, failure for me) is okay sometimes... and that I shouldn't beat myself up. Maybe I do need to be humbled. Either way, as long as I know I did the morally correct thing (by not cheating), I will accept whatever grade I get. Pass or fail, I'm good with God and that's ultimately what matters.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to take a break from typing.

Thanks for reading my reflection. :)

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D

Friday, March 19, 2010

Breaking Up is Hard to Do

Breaking up is hard to do... especially when it's with someone or something that you've had in your life for a really long time. This week I've broken up with my bad habits.

For months I've been trying to shake habits I have detested, but have had, since I was a child. I could go weeks (even months) without doing any of them but then I slip when I'm not conscience thinking about what I am doing. Trust me, I sometimes act without thinking and that's when these pesky habits come out thus making me start all over. Since I've had these habits for twenty years now (sounds like I'm old, but as I said I started early on these) and since I want to start my 25th year on a positive note, I decided to break up with these darn habits that are going to keep me back from what I want to accomplish.

None of this is going to be easy. Just like with most break ups, it's going to be hard. I may to cry (mostly out of frustration if I slip) and bake mini cakes to eat in depression (I substitute cake for ice cream). I may be tempted to fall back into its charm (though, thankfully, it has none) but I'm putting my foot down. Enough is enough and I will not allow these things to hold me back any longer. I just have to remind myself that by eliminating these habits (like over-analyzing everything and being a big ol' worrywart) I will be able to better control my anxiety and that I'll be able to pursue and finish all I want to do.

Of course, I will substitute the bad habits with good ones so that the transition is much easier on me. One of them will be making a habit of praying when I feel the urge to start worrying about things. It's kind of funny that as optimistic and as accepting of God's will as I am, I still worry quite a bit. I think some of my worries are justified at times but I really should nip some of the more negative ones in the bud. It's gotten easier as I've gotten older but I still need to get rid of that habit. I am also going to try to go to daily Mass in the morning to help me with my habit of going to bed at 3 a.m. and then waking up really late in the morning or afternoon. I believe a lot of my poor time management has been because of this problem.

Now that Lent is ending, I hope to be able to do all of this so I can have one good confession in which I can finally confess some of these bad habits for the last time. :)

Alright, I think that is long enough for today. I really want to shorten the entries so y'all don't have to read much. I know how busy we've all gotten lately. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Finally! Two Weeks Worth of Entries Posted

Just a quick "WHOO!" post to announce all the entries from March 4th until today finally been published! You can either go to the right hand column and search for them there or you can click one of the following links.

Posted entries (from oldest to most recent):
- March 4: Catholic Bookstores
- March 5: These Darn Temptations
- March 6: Practicing Patience in Church
- March 7: (Fictional) Catholics in Films, T.V. Shows
- March 8: Modesty and "Old Fashioned" Ways Coming Back?
- March 9: The Show, err... Posting, Must Go On
- March 10: Today Was a Stinker
- March 11: Apathy and Insight in Mass
- March 12: In Pain; No Proper Post Today
- March 13: See? I'm Alive!
- March 14: Update from Swamp Thing
- March 15: Music Monday: Ave Maria (Schubert)
- March 16: Deadly Sins Quizzes
- March 17: Happy St. Patrick's Day

I will keep my promise to write a blog entry every day during Lent... even if they are posted a bit late. Hopefully that won't happen again. *fingers crossed* I am on schedule for once, but I want to go back and read what I skimmed previous weeks. I have Spring Break coming up in a week and a half (we get Holy Week off... in the secular Los Angeles Community College District no less) so I have hopes that some day in the near future I won't be saying "still swamped with homework" or even mention it like I have lately. I'm keeping the dream alive! lol.

Alright, I want to get to bed a bit early tonight in hopes to get most (if not all) the remaining coursework done -- that way I can enjoy my weekend. I am not going to the Religious Education Congress in Anaheim but I have plans nonetheless. :D

Thanks for having patience with me. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless.

P.S. Fingers crossed for the big announcement (hopefully) coming soon.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Happy St. Patrick's Day

This honorary, "adopted" Irish lass wishes you all a happy St. Patrick's Day. I say I'm adopted being I was officially named an honorary Irish lady (hello repetition) by Corey from the awesome podcast and website, Irish Fireside, two Christmas' ago. I have the note with the Shamrock Christmas ornament he sent me to keep that lovely memory. I have been mentioned on the podcast before but I won't say which one because he says my full name and y'all know I'm a bit wary about that (for now, at least).

I'm sure all the other Catholic blogs have been writing similar things about St. Patrick so I'm not going to. All I will say is that I LOVE this holiday and it surpasses many other holidays (including Valentine's Day, *gasp*). I've always loved the Irish culture and people, and I used to lament not being Irish as far back as junior high, so this particular day makes me very happy. Many of my favorite saints are Irish as well: St. Dymphna, St. Fiacre, St. Brigid of Ireland/Kildare, and (of course) St. Patrick. I hope to one day visit the places where they once lived/preached/breathed. I also have a great wish to go visit the Shrine of Our Lady of Knock at some point in my lifetime. :D

Before I end this post, let me just say a Happy St. Patrick Feast Day to all those named Patrick, including Patrick Madrid and my friend Melissa's infant son whose middle name is Patrick. :D

That's all for today. I'm attempting to get all my homework done early so I can focus on my big Humanities paper which is due on Saturday night. So far, I've finished all the work for my Art class (including the quiz, whoo! :D) and am not too far from finishing my Creative Writing work. :D

Until next time, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Deadly Sins Quizzes

Okay, I'll admit that this is one of those filler posts because I am trying really hard to finish all my work on time. Since I don't get to post many quizzes, I thought it would be fun to post these Deadly Sin quizzes I've taken (and which you can also take) via Blogthings. Take the answers with a grain of salt as they don't actually reflect Catholic beliefs... they're just a fun way to see how the secular world you rate your "deadly sins".

Your Gluttony Quotient: 38%

You have a pretty good relationship with food - you enjoy it, but you don't go overboard. You've struck the perfect balance between gluttony and self control.

Your Sloth Quotient: 46%

You're definitely lazier than the average person, but you're able to live a somewhat normal life. All your life needs is a little more effort and variety, and you might see that doing hard things is actually fun!

Your Pride Quotient: 20%

You the furthest thing from prideful - truly humble.You don't consider anyone or anything beneath you.

Your Envy Quotient: 11%

Envious? You? No way! You're happy with what you've got going on, and what someone else has doesn't change that. When people succeed, you are happy for them. You know you'll get yours eventually!

Your Wrath Quotient: 11%

Revenge, anger, rage? They're hardly words in your vocabulary. If someone wrongs you, you move on. You rather be indifferent than upset.

Your Lust Quotient: 6%

Congratulations, you have your lust under control. It's not that you aren't a lustful person, you just like to save it for the perfect occasion!

Your Greed Quotient: 13%

You're anything but greedy. You're eager to share and give to others. For you, collecting material possessions is more trouble than it's worth!

So apparently I'm mostly lazy and gluttonous. Really, now? That's interesting. /sarcasm. lol. Like I said, don't take these things seriously as some of the options/questions were kind of "meh."

I will take this opportunity to say that if you have committed one of these deadly sins and have not confessed, what are you waiting for? Lent is a great time to confess!

Alright, the homework will not do itself (drat! lol).

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Music Monday: Ave Maria (Schubert)

Hey guys! I'm still feeling a bit under the weather so this will be a relatively short post. Since it's Music Monday, I have the perfect excuse to keep it short and sweet yet still offer something pretty good (I hope.)

Anyway, for today's Music Monday I've chosen Andrea Bocelli's rendition of Schubert's "Ave Maria." It is own my favorite songs that I never tire of hearing... or singing.

Isn't that such a beautiful song? I love Andrea's voice for this particular version of Ave Maria. Anyone else have another favorite?

Alright, I need to go get some rest (I'm extremely fatigued and a bit dizzy). I hope everyone had a great weekend. :)

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Update from Swamp Thing

I feel like a thing from the swamp - gross. I'm still sick but I have to try to concentrate because a lot of things are due tonight and I've missed days of studying due to my being sick. This means, yes, I am once again behind on my work. At this rate, I'll catch up on my Spring Break -- with only a day or two to enjoy it. By the way, I even missed Mass today (that's how sick I've been) so I'm not a terribly happy camper at the moment. Ah, well... c'est la vie. Just keeping up with my goal to write an entry every day.

Hope everyone had a lovely weekend. :D I hope to post something good soon. Fingers crossed. :D

'Til next time, thanks for reading and God Bless.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

See? I'm Alive!

Sorry for the lack of posts... or, I should say, the lack of posting new entries. While I have been not been publishing them over the last week and a half, I have been writing them... or have started to. In the next day I will be going back and finish what I've started to write/publish them. I have been pretty busy the last week so that's why I haven't had time to finish them. For the exception of yesterday's post (which I did not even start due to pain), there will be one for every day since the last entry was published on March 5th.

I have also been reading a lot of Catholic literature in my microscopic free time (as well as working on my novel), so I will post reviews/thoughts on those books soon. With Spring Break coming up, expect to see posts that are longer in length. I am still awaiting to get concrete details and an 'okay' before I can announce the big news I've been mentioning from time to time. I still haven't done it because the person who is responsible making this announcement possible has been very busy and we haven't been in contact much this past week. We'll see when that happens. :)

Alright, I just woke up from a long nap and this is the first time in days I haven't been in pain, so I am going to work on the homework that's due tonight and tomorrow.

Hope everyone has had a great week! Don't forget to change your clocks tonight! Spring forward or else you'll miss your usual Mass. :D

As always, thanks for reading (and checking up daily) and God Bless!

Friday, March 12, 2010

In Pain; No Proper Post Today

Pain. So much pain. Not even two Tylenol tablets helped. Headache, backache, stomachache, and fatigue have won. I'll have a proper post when I am feeling better. Sorry guys.

Hope everyone is well!

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Apathy and Insight in Mass

One of the things I have been struggling with (besides pesky temptations and the never ending homework) is apathy. It may just be the depression talking, but I am just not in the mood to do and/or deal with everything. All I want to do is sleep and do the minimum to get by. Though I have not given up on my faith (that's not gonna happen), I haven't been praying as much as I used to. When I do, I can't concentrate as well as I used to. Things just don't seem to be going well for me anymore. I still have hope (even if it's just a little sliver of it) and optimism that everything will eventually get better. It's just the "eventually" part, the not knowing when or how, that can be a bit of a downer. Needless to say, my self-esteem has been going "down the hole" as Baby Plucky would say.

I went to morning Mass this morning (first time in months) and for the first time, I felt like I had before this sombre mood took a hold of me. Since I had gotten there nearly an hour before the Mass started (I purposely planned it that way), I sat down and I started to read a book on mediations by a Daughter of St. Paul that I bought the day I went to Pauline Books and Media. Twenty pages into it (and half an hour of really reflecting on myself and my relationship with God in the few months) my perspective shifted to the way it was two years ago, prior to my dad's third battle with cancer, his death, and the aftermath it. I found myself questioning my thoughts and actions. I began to think of ways I could change my attitude, and try to restore it to how it was... well, with a few improvements. I came home feeling better than I'd felt in weeks.

It wasn't until I was home that I realized something -- I'd asked that a Mass intention be said in Mass on the 8 month anniversary of my father's death (today, the 11th). I did that completely unintentionally. Not only that, today would've been the birthday of my former spiritual adviser, Fr. Leo Leblanc O.M.I., who also passed away nearly 4 months ago. To have such insight on a day that involved the two men that had had much influence of me and having that insight in one of my favorite places in this world just seemed like it was meant to be.

So I can out of Mass with a new game plan, and a great want to get rid of my apathy. May God grant me my wish to get as close to Him as I once was... and hopefully without illness to get there again (like last time.)

Alright, that's all I can write for now. It's late and I still have to study for a paper that's due, as well as a quiz for another course.

Until next time, thanks for reading and God Bless! :D