Following the Pope's Trip to Mexico as a Mexican American

I'm currently sitting crisscross (applesauce) in front of the TV in my living room as mom and I watch the meeting between Pope Francis and youth in Michoacan, Mexico. Dancers are dancing the typical dances native to Michoacan. While I'm not from Michoacan, part of my family (the maternal side) is. My heart sings with joy and pride knowing that the first Latin American pope is in the land of my ancestors.

I'll be the first to admit that I don't feel very Mexican. I was born, raised, and still live in Los Angeles. I identify myself as American. My mother jokes that she's more American than Mexican as well because she's lived here longer than she did in Mexico. We both seem to be more "modern" than how my more "old fashioned" father was. Though I've identified more closely to the American culture I've still gotten some of the Mexican culture infused into my daily life because my parents made sure I knew my roots. I think that's why I've been so riveted to our TV, following the Holy Father's journey.

I haven't been to Mexico in several years but some of my fondest memories from my childhood happened in Mexico, especially at churches in Mexico. I shared one of those memories during my second blog post (ever). On December 26, 2007, I wrote:

"I was actually very lucky to have visited him (Santo Niño de Atocha; the original statue) when I was about 11 years old (give or take a year or two). The church looks very humble which makes it even more stunning. I went with my parents and my paternal grandmother (may God rest her soul) to Fresnillo and Plateros as part of our vacation. I was happy but very tired because of the bus ride to and from Fresnillo. My grandmother, who was one of the most amazing women I've ever known, lived in a town a few hours from Fresnillo but she still made the trip with us. Unfortunately, I don't remember much of the trip because it's been about 12 years since the trip but I do remember feeling very excited and happy... and I still have the items my grandmother bought for us while we were there. I hope to go back to Fresnillo some day soon. I'll be the first to admit that I don't like going to Mexico because I always seem to get food poisoning or some sort of stomach virus when I'm out there (the foods are quite different from the ones in the U.S.) but I'd be willing to have a tummy ache or two if it meant seeing the Santo Niño again..."

8+ years later, it's still true. I would still love to go back and visit the Santo Niño de Atocha. I would love to go back and visit the church of St. Michael (Iglesia de San Miguel) in Miguel Auza, Zacatecas where my father and many generations of my paternal family was baptized and married. I would love to revisit the Cathedral of Zacatecas which I don't remember very well but my mom told me we've visited before.

My paternal grandmother -- the one whom I mentioned in that post -- is the one who took me to church with her when I went to Mexico. Well, my grandmother and my Aunt Lola. They both veiled (actually, I'm sure my Aunt Lola still does) and showed me the beauty of covering your head as a sign of love and respect for the Lord. It might not be for everyone but I can't imagine not veiling for Mass nor whenever I'm in front of the tabernacle or in adoration. As someone who has loved the Church since I was a little lady but had lapsed Catholic parents, I am incredibly grateful to my Abuelita and my Aunt Lola for sharing the beautiful Catholic heritage that runs in the family.

Watching Pope Francis in the land of my maternal grandparents (they're from Michoacan) makes me long to explore Mexican churches and cathedrals. Unfortunately, like many other Mexicans (especially those of us who were born and raised here), hearing about the violence and criminal activity makes us not want to go visit. It's a shame, really. I can still remember the beautiful architecture in the various churches we visited. I remember being absolutely enamoured by how the churches looked on the inside. I think I even left quite reluctantly a couple of times. lol.

Catholicism in Mexico has had its ups and downs throughout the centuries. Did anyone watch For Greater Glory? The Cristeros War was harsh. From what I've researched and learned, it seems like my paternal family got a good chunk of that craziness in their towns in Zacatecas and Durango. I think that's why I've hit a wall in my family tree search on that side of the family (stuck in the early 1800s) -- the anti-Catholic government had church records burned in the times of my grandparents. Despite all of that, the Catholic Church has still managed to thrive. Unfortunately, I believe that the rich and beautiful history of the Church in Mexico has been lost because of how hard younger generations tries to modernize the country.

Plain and simple, I fear that Mexico is losing its Catholic roots at a rapid pace. This is what I believe based on what I've seen from my own family and friends who still live in Mexico. Too many things of this world are given importance over God and the faith. It's sad because, as I said, there's such a beautiful history there. Just look at the story of how Our Lady of Guadalupe appeared to St. Juan Diego. I get goosebumps just thinking about it and not just because Our Lady of Guadalupe has been a big part of my life since I was a little lady.

As I watch the encounter between Pope Francis and Mexican youth come to an end, it's my sincerest hope that his visit to Mexico will light the fires in the hearts of Mexican youth (and, really, Mexicans of all ages) to grow closer to God instead of turning away from Him. I've cried more than once during his Holiness' trip because I've seen the outpouring love the country has shown him. Keep it up, paisanos! Don't let that fire die down!

Anyway, I'm just rambling at this point. I'm going to enjoy the rest of this broadcast on EWTN en Español.

I hope y'all are having a lovely week thus far. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

Our Lady of Guadalupe, My Family, and the '94 Northridge Earthquake

I took this picture a couple of years ago at my childhood parish around her feast day. :)

If you've been reader of this blog from the beginning, you may remember me mentioning this before but I am going to write a longer, more detailed version of this story. It's the feast day of Our Lady of Guadalupe so I think it's the appropriate day to do so.

My love of Our Lady started from a young age. I don't exactly remember how old I was but my parents saw the connection I had to her. I loved her and apparently I understood that she loved me before I even reached the age of reason. After a particularly curious event (which shall have to remain unknown to my readers for now; sorry), my parents decided to hang a picture of her in my room. I felt happy and at peace having her image in my room... and little did I know that the picture (and, really, Our Lady) would get me through the most terrifying event of my childhood.

I was 8 years old when the 1994 Northridge Earthquake occurred. I still remember every detail of it, even though it happened 20 years ago (next month). I remember my dad picking me up from the bed as the entire apartment shook violently. I remember being terrified as I'd never lived (and haven't since) such a powerful earthquake before. My parents and I were huddled in the middle of the apartment, under the door frames of the two bedrooms, holding onto the walls for support (and both holding onto me) because we were being thrown around with the shaking. It became pitch black before the worst of the shaking ended... but, before all the lights went out, I remember that both Our Lady and St. Jude brought comfort to us.

Almost everything was thrown off the walls and broken... except the huge framed picture of Our Lady in my room (where it still hangs to this day). Whilst everything around the room was on the floor (including other hanged photos), her picture stayed where it was, as if nothing had happened. (side note: the St. Jude statues in my room fell, but didn't break, until all three of us were safely under the door frames... and they should've been the first to fall as they are the most vulnerable to falling and breaking where they were placed.)

I was taking classes for my First Communion when this happened. My classroom at the parish was on the second floor and the entire floor (floor; not walls) collapsed. We ended up finishing up our classes in a neighboring parish and we actually did our First Communion in a huge tent that was set up in the parking lot since the parish was unsafe to use. (Earthquake happened in January and I did my First Communion that May). Despite the setback, we were still able to celebrate the occasion. Nothing -- not even a natural disaster -- would stop us from receiving such a wonderful sacrament.

I look back at what happened and how the picture stayed where it was and think about how it seems to have been a precursor to what was to come. I have had so many things jostle me around but my faith stays intact. Even though I was away from the Church from my teens through the age of 21 (and I actually reverted less than a month after my 21st birthday), I still managed to come back. My faith has gotten me through the hardest "shake up" of my life -- losing my father 4 years ago -- and still, I feel like Our Lady has stood beside me, holding my hand through it all.

It's funny how I've had such a "stormy" relationship with Our Lady for years. From my teens through about a year or so ago, I didn't feel particularly close to her because I didn't feel worthy enough to call her my Mother. I felt like I had failed her in so many ways -- especially when she interceded for me and I couldn't thank her in ways I wanted (and promised) to. I used to think to myself "how can she love me when I haven't been a good daughter?" It took me a long time to realize that she loves me despite how many times I may fail; and an even longer time to shake that feeling of not being worthy. I still don't think I am (and that could still be works of the Enemy as he hates Our Lady since she represents everything that is good and everything that he doesn't want for mankind) but knowing that she's with me (and intercedes for me) when I need her has been a great comfort in recent years.

So, that's my story. Sorry for the length but this was a post that was overdue!

Anyway, I hope you all had a wonderful feast day. For those of you who were lucky enough to attend a Mass, I hope your hearts were filled with as much love and joy as humanly possible. :)

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

Advent Link-Up

The ever lovely Julie made this Advent link up so I am going to give it a go. I know I wrote about my Advent plans for my last post but this is more for those who like to see things in pictures. You know who you are, tl;dr crowd.

Advent Wreath

We've had our Advent wreath for a couple of years now. This year was the first that mom blessed it; previous years it had been me. I am sure we'll have this for a couple more years to come. :)

Books

I am currently reading this little booklet which I got from Aquinas and More this week (which, it seems, they're out of). As for other books, though December is typically my Jane Austen month, I'm going to move it to January. At the moment I'm rereading the Chronicles of Narnia for the *I lost count*-th time. I like to read them in chronological order so I'm currently on the fourth book, Prince Caspian. Every time I read the series my favorite changes. Right now The Horse and His Boy is my favorite but we'll see when I'm done with all of them. 

Decorations

Because we live in an apartment, we try to use the space we have to make it look bigger and thus we don't go crazy with decorations. We have the Nativity, the Advent wreath, and I'll eventually make a "Christmas tree" by stacking Christmas cards on my desk. That's about it, at least for Advent.

Favorite Movies and Music

This is my first year without cable since I was about 5 years old so I am missing all the sappy chick flicks on the Hallmark Channel (which I am sucker for). This time of year is the time on which I watch Elf, Gone with the Wind, and a number of Hallmark movies which we either own or have access to via Roku.

As for music, I am avoiding Christmas music so it's mostly classical and jazz (Ella Fitzgerald, Jimmy Durante, Duke Ellington, etc.) for now. There's something about the cold weather that always seems to put me in a mood for a cup of tea and some Ella Fitzgerald.

Feast Days

I'm a fan of all the major feasts that fall during the Advent period.

- St. Nicholas: one of my favorite heretic punchers. ;) I come from a traditional Hispanic family so we never did the shoe thing (though we do make a big deal out of the Epiphany) but it's something I'm keeping in mind for my future babies.
- Immaculate Conception: a favorite for obvious reasons. Today is the last day of the novena and I'm sad because it's one of my favorites to do during the year (along with the St. Andrew Christmas novena).

- Our Lady of Guadalupe: I'm part Mexican so this is a no brainer. ;) In the past couple of years, one of our neighbors (who sadly moved this year) organized this huge party to which all the neighbors in the apartment complex were invited as long as you were Catholic and/or had respect for Our Lady. She paid for the food, hired the mariachi, and everyone just celebrated big.
- St. Lucy: A couple of years ago I had a dream that I had my hair in braids and had an actual wreath with lit candles on my head, heading into a darkened church... much like many little girls do in Europe (haven't seen this in the U.S.) I'm going to attempt to bake her bread this year, too. 

The Nativity

The picture above was taken at the Cathedral of Our Lady of the Angels, out here in L.A., a couple of years ago. (Please ask before taking it and posting it elsewhere.) Ours is a bit different... and temporary. We have a "baby" Nativity because many of our neighbors who stop by have small children. Until we find one that we both agree on (mom and I have different tastes), we'll keep using it. I definitely enjoy adding to it throughout Advent.

St. Nick and Santa Claus

I'm obviously too old to believe in Santa Claus (er, I mean, he totally exists...) but I've been seeing how my friends have handled the St. Nick vs Santa Claus with their little ones. My parents allowed me to believe that Santa Claus was real until some point in elementary school (not sure when). However, they also did a good job and driving home the point that I wouldn't always get what I wanted because "Santa" sometimes couldn't get it for me. I like to think that it helped me not be selfish when it comes to Christmas presents... or presents in general. I think it's too early to know what I'll do with my own kids (if and when they come). However, I am enjoying seeing the pictures of my adopted nieces and nephews with Santa. Also, NO ONE is allowed to get me anything this year. You hear me, Angelica? Yes, I'm calling you out on the blog. lol. 

Traditions

I think I've covered much of the traditions we have already. When my dad was alive, he used to go into this amazing cooking mode (he worked for a chef for a while) so the house was always filled with delicious scents. Mom and I are still trying to set our own traditions. Oh! I have one: every year we go back and forth on attending her work's Christmas party because every year, since I was a teenager, I've had the unpleasant task of dodging creepy older men's invites to dance or chat solo, away from the crowd. Hopefully I'll get a break this year. 

Treats

HUGE food month for us. I go into baking mode so we have a lot of fattening foods in our kitchen throughout the season. Our downstairs neighbor makes delicious tamales so we get spoiled there as well. I'm hoping to use my final freelance writing check to treat some of the homeless in the area to some warm cups of coffee, tea, and other food that might be in the area. 

Weather

I screen capped this today. It was cold and rainy... and absolutely lovely despite the pain I endured when I left the house to pick up mom from work. The lows this week have been in the 30s (and it dropped to 29 earlier this week). The high didn't quite reach 56 (it was 51) but this is pretty typical Advent weather for us in Southern California. I hope to one day get myself an actual white Christmas as I have never experienced snow.

And that is all for now. See? Quick and relatively painless. ;) I hope y'all are having a good Advent thus far. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

What I Learned Wednesday #2

Just a quick graphic I made for today's WILW post. :)

First of all, a "thank you" to those who participated last week. I had positive response about possibly linking up today so we shall see what happens. To me, if I can inspire one person to learn about the Faith during the week, that is a success. :)

1) This isn't something learned as it is an observation. We all know that today is the feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe (who I love dearly), but very few people know about the feast day of St. Juan Diego to whom she appeared to. Did you know his feast day was December 9th? I honestly didn't. I thought it was the 11th (yesterday). St. Juan Diego is such a wonderful saint to learn about. His humility, his faith... it's all inspiring. He represents not only Hispanics and Amerindians, but the poor of the poor. He shows us that our economic status doesn't matter, what matters is what is in your heart. He loved God and Our Lady and dutifully did what Our Lady asked without doubts. After doing what she asked, he told her, "I am only a simple Indian whom you have sent as a messenger to an important person. Therefore, he didn't believe me, and I do not want to greatly disappoint you." He is not worried about what a mere mortal thinks of him, but about what she and therefore God think of him. Please take a couple minutes out of your day to learn a little more about him if you can. I think we could all learn a thing or two from him.

2) Something incredibly wonderful: I learned two things that I got a real kick out of. First, I learned that I was at my mother's baptism / first communion / confirmation. I was only three years ago at the time. My mother (who, as I mentioned before, was adopted) never properly received any of the sacraments so she waited until she was in her early 30s to receive them. I even saw a picture of the two of us together in front of a statue of Our Blessed Mother and Baby Jesus. It was wonderful and I'm sad I was too young to remember any of it. Btw, in another picture I was seated right behind my mama, wanting to "be in the middle of the action" as she put it. lol. Second, I learned that I was confirmed on St. Cecilia's feast day... at a church named after her. Yup, I was destined to have her as my confirmation saint. lol. I actually didn't know. I knew about the church being named after her -- I learned that a couple of years ago -- but not about the feast day. I am definitely celebrating it a little bigger next year. :D

3) Video of the week (and, really, the day) courtesy of Catholic News Agency of Pope Benedict XVI sending his first tweets. I woke up at 4:35 a.m. this morning and it was the first thing that I checked on my phone. Pope Benedict XVI Fan Club Member here.

Alright, this is it for now. It's short-ish because I don't have a lot of time; too many things to do, not enough hours in the day... and still no wifi to make my life easier (which is why I haven't posted anything since Friday.) lol.

Anyway, please share your blog posts, tweet, tumblr posts, etc in the link up under my signature. The submission time ends at 11:59 p.m. PST. If you don't want to share, I hope you do look into learning something about the Faith anything. We were all excited about the start of the Year of Faith but it seems to have fizzled out and I'm trying to keep the excitement alive. ;) Feel free to use the graphic I made; a better one is on the way. ;)

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

It's (Spiritual) War!

If you are following me on twitter, then you probably saw my angry tweets about disrespected in my own home, a couple of hours ago. Many of you had no idea what I was writing about, so I'll tell you. I engaged in somewhat of a spiritual war.

So what exactly happened? Well, it all started when a friend of my mother's mentioned that there were these people, who were not Catholic, who would want to pray for my father in hopes that he gets better. I had no problem with it because, though they aren't of the same religion, who am I to say "No, you can't pray for my father because you're not Catholic."? That would be dumb. If you want to pray, pray. I have friends who are Jewish, Baptists, Protestants, agnostic, etc. and I pray for them, especially when they ask me to. I have no issues with other religions... as long as the people don't trash mine. So, I cleaned up the house and was determined to be a good host. I was in a great mood... until the house guests arrived.

From the minute they set foot in the house, I had a really bad feeling. I tried to shake it off and was cordial when I greeted them. It all started off good, I didn't even say anything when they brought out their Bibles and started "preaching" to us. I am secure enough in my faith that I can listen to others without betraying my own beliefs. Then one of the men started talking about how much he loved his Catholic "brethren" but how we were all misguided and how our religion was a bunch of trash because we "don't really know what the Bible says" and because we "don't know what God's true purpose is for us or for Himself." Evangelist say WHAT?! He had the audacity to come into a Catholic household (and he knew it was Catholic coming in) and then trash our religion. The guy did it to our faces, especially mine, too. Are you flippin' kidding me? If I didn't have self-control and if I wasn't trying, really hard, to continue acting like a lady, I would've given the guy a piece of my mind. So I just stayed quiet, though tweeting at this time, out of respect for my parents. Then he asked my father if he accepted Jesus Christ into his life. My dad, trying to be polite, just nodded. I could understand his apprehension, being Catholic. Then the other guy, his son, started talking about how we were going to hell if we did not accept Jesus in our lives -- according to their beliefs. He used me as an example of someone not accepting God in my life, and therefore, if I'm in a car accident, I won't be saved and I'll be spending eternity in hell. "Oh HECK no!!!!" I thought to myself. That's when the really heavy feeling I had in my chest felt unbearable.

They made my father cry... which made my mother cry. I did not cry. I was too angry to feel anything else. I went off to my room where I thought I was going to have a full blown panic attack. I didn't, thank goodness, but it certainly felt that way. As I said when I started re-telling the ordeal, I had a bad feeling as soon as they got there and that bad feeling felt more and more like a giant elephant was sitting on my chest... and had started to gain weight. I began to pray. That's what I do when I feel angry. I'm usually very mellow and I take things very well but these people pushed all the wrong buttons. It was like the whole situation where my classmate called God a *bleep* in English Lit last Fall semester -- times ten. These guys are lucky that I hate drama, and that I don't want to disrespect my parents by being rude to their guests, 'cause "feisty Emmy" would've come out and I'm very blunt when I'm that upset. I would've used my words carefully but I would've verbally kicked their butts out of my house.

So, as I said, I went into my room, closed the door and began to pray. Mom came into the room twice but I purposely kept myself in prayer because I didn't want to snap at anyone, especially my own mother. The second time she came in, I was kneeling down, under a picture of Our Lady of Guadalupe (the same one that's been with me since I was a little girl) and I was saying "Please, help me calm down. If these people mean no harm, please make me understand that." I guess my mom mentioned that I was praying, and was in the middle of an "Our Father", when the guy apparently took my parents and started praying over them. And it wasn't quiet... it was yelling. He was screaming, probably at my mother, to hold on to him and to not let go of him or God... blah, blah, blah. Look, I appreciate you wanting to pray for my daddy but you will NOT disrespect me in my own home, and then yell at the top of your lungs about how my father's illness should get out of his body (and something about burning)... etc, while I'm trying to pray. Grrr. I started getting dressed up, while still saying "Our Fathers" and "Hail Marys" out loud, trying to drown out the man's yelling, and got ready to leave as soon as they were done. I had the strongest desire to get out of the house asap. I felt like I was trapped. It was horrible. I began asking St. Benedict of Nursia and St. Michael Archangel to get these people out of my house if what they were doing was not good. Soon after that, I heard them starting to leave. After I got upset at my mother for coming into my room and taking money TO PAY THEM, I grabbed my things and I left, telling my parents that I was going out and that I would be coming back "in a little while."

I walked (according to google maps) 0.9 miles, in a rush, to the nearest Catholic Church. I love walking (seriously, just call me Elizabeth Bennett) and I figured that it would help me clear my mind and lower down the unhappy camper feeling I had. I don't like being angry. I loathe it as as I hate lying. Just, ugh. When I got to the parish, I was feeling a bit better. I went to confession and talked to Fr. Peter for a little bit. That alone made me feel a million times better. I prayed a bit before coming back home, and walked that 0.9 miles back home. Though the people are gone, my parents are not happy with me AND there's a weird tension in the house which stinks. These people offended me, made my parents cry, did things short of trying to convert us to their religion, AND left a mess in the house. My feelings are being hurt but, eh, I'm used to that so I can deal with it. Not being able to have the same dynamics with my parents... that I have an issue with. I pray that all the weirdness disappears soon.

After all the effort I've done for my dad... helping him come back to the Church, asking Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati for his intercession, countless prayers and Rosaries said for my dad during his most difficult moments, etc... having him feel angry at me for not being happy about what happened with those people, and not accepting what they did to him, feels like a giant slap in my face. I'm sure that's not correct but that's what I feel. Regardless, I will continue to pray for my dad and do everything I can for him... because he's my dad and, no matter how crummy he treats me, I love him and I want him to feel better. And, considering that he is NOT going to get chemotherapy, he's going to stick it out and let the Lord take him when He wants, I'm going to have to put all differences aside.

If this all seemed like one big rant, I'm sorry. I was just trying to explain things fully to those of you who asked me what was going on. I hope now you understand why I felt the way I did.

I promise that the next blog will be much chipper and less "arghdghjg". :D I'm blessed with the ability to forgive and forget quite easily... and it's rare when I'm upset for longer than a little while. :) Thanks to all those who prayed for my during this "spiritual war" I had going on.

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :)

Long List of Saintly "Thank You"s, Intercessions.

This might be the last post I write this year because tomorrow is usually a really busy day for me -- due to the clean-a-thon. I haven't really started and that will take me a good day and a half if I do it at my usual pace. Since I feel VERY weak and slightly fatigued today (due to a little fasting I did yesterday; I've learned I really can't fast without feeling like I'm gonna pass out within a few hours), I will be doing this a bit slower. Also, my mom's just caught a cold/flu bug so I'll also be helping her clean the house. We like to ring in the New Year with everything in order and as clean as possible. :D Since this is the case, I just wanted to post a long list of "Thank You"s to saints who've interceded for me. It will be extra long, so brace yourselves.

St. Jude Thaddeus: St. Jude's helped me out for years. He was my patron saint during the hardest times of my life, and I believe he was in the saint that got me back to my Catholic roots. I've always been Catholic but didn't always act Catholic (mainly because no one ever bothered to explain to me what was and wasn't part of the Church's beliefs). I credit him for helping me get back into prayer and attending Mass, as well as going to confessions. There's a reason why I head straight for our St. Jude statues whenever there's an earthquake.

Our Lady of Guadalupe: Our Mother in Heaven has been absolutely amazing to my entire family. She's my father's patron saint, along with St. Michael Archangel. What can I say that hasn't already been saint about her? All I can do is express my gratitude to her for all she's done for us, including helping us through my mom's potential breast cancer scare last year. I also have a journal where I write as if I were writing to her, but that's another story... :D That's something you won't see, unlike the little drawing I did of her, earlier this year.

St. Dymphna: Patroness of all who, like me, suffer from anxiety. She's actually brought a lot of new readers to this blog because of a post I wrote, a few months ago, on Catholicism and anxiety. Though she's helped me very much, I believe she's helped me help others who did not know about her and now pray for her intercession. That's a great feeling. :D Any time I feel a really BAD panic attack coming on, I pray for her intercession -- that the Lord hears her own prayers for my peace of mind -- and I feel better not long after. I hope to help promote her intercession for others as much as I can.

St. Timothy: I went through almost 2-3 months of a stomach virus that simply refused to leave my system... until I looked up who the patron saint of stomach and intestinal problems was. When I did, I asked for his intercession and a few days later, I was practically back to normal. :D I am very grateful to him for that, because I landed in the Emergency Room twice (the last two times I was there) because of dehydration from the virus before I asked for his intercession.

St. Martha: This one is for my mom, who works in a subsection of housekeeping (not but exactly housekeeping) at a convalescent hospital. My mom has a HEAVY work load and she gets home completely exhausted every day. One day, I decided to look up the patroness of her line of work. I told her to ask St. Martha for her intercession whenever she had one of those heavy days. She did (and has since). Mom will occasionally tell me how she had a heavy workload and she says "St. Martha, please help me get through this" and the next thing she knows, she's done! She somehow manages to finish everything quickly; the time just flies. So a big thank you to her!

St. Thomas Aquinas and St. Joseph of Cupertino: My academic heroes! Every time I had a hard exam, I asked for their intercessions (St. Thomas Aquinas for a clear mind; St. Joseph of Cupertino for knowledge to pass the exam). I even kept St. Thomas Aquinas' holy prayer card on my desk during a couple of my exams, including my Oceanography final exam (I ended up getting an A in the class for the semester). I also believe St. Joseph of Cupertino also came through for me during my English Lit final because, despite studying for a section that wasn't covered much on the test, I was able to pass it and score a B for the semester. So, THANK YOU!

Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati: I've only been learning about Bl. Pier Giorgio recently, I asked his intercession for absolutely no anxiety during my final exam. I heard students also asked him for help and since I want to submit something to further his case to become an official saint, I decided to ask him for health and peace of mind during finals. I definitely got it. I don't know how but I made it through my final exams with the most relaxed attitude I've ever had. Seriously, I was so zen the entire time, I was very kind of shocked. Of course, anxiety is up now but hey I made it through my finals which is all I asked. :D I am now asking him to help me with something, also school related, and I will let y'all know if he's able to intercede for me. :D

St. Teresa of Avila: Ever since I had that dream of St. Teresa -- before I even knew who she was -- I've felt connected to her. After learning about her, and seeing how much I had in common with her, I felt so much more connected to the Church and the Lord. She started my whole love of learning about saints' lives. (Well, her and Fr. James who said to look them up whenever I dreamt about them). A thank you to her for helping me figure out my career was in writing. :D

St. Pancras of Rome: Got a cramp? Ask for his intercession and it'll go away. He definitely interceded for me when I got that painful charley horse, first thing in the morning, a few months ago. It was the fastest pain relief -- from a charley horse -- I've had.

St. Anthony: He's helped me find things AND I owe him a food donation (he's the patron saint against starvation) to my local parish which I hope to do either later today or tomorrow.

St. Christopher and St. Sebastian: Thank you for not letting Liverpool F.C. lose when I've watched the games! :D (I'm a Reds fan, as was the late Pope John Paul II. :D)

Infant of Prague: Last, but certainly not least, is the Infant Jesus of Prague. I am telling you, every time I'm in a bind and need an urgent intercession, I've done the 9 hour novena and it's always helped me. I definitely recommend it to those of you who are in urgent need.

I would like to end this blog by saying that I am grateful to each and every one of these, and all the rest of, saints for the intercession they've done for me and for others. For those non-Catholics, NO, I am NOT worshiping these saints. Saints intercede for us -- they ask God, on our behalf, to help us through our troubles. I would also like to say that if you ask a saint to intercede for you and he/she doesn't, it doesn't mean it doesn't work. In my experience, you either have to be patient, because not all prayers are answered immediately, or it wasn't in God's will. I always keep in mind that if my prayer isn't answered right away or at all, it's because I HAVE TO endure whatever it is I'm going through in order to learn from it. That's something a lot of people probably don't consider. That is the reason why many prayers conclude with "... if it's God's will."

Alright, I am feeling a little better than I was when I started writing, so I will try to finish my cleaning. Yaay... *groan* lol. In case I don't write another post, I wish you all a WONDERFUL, and safe, New Years! If you're Spanish or Hispanic, don't forget the 12 grapes at midnight -- I know I won't! :D.

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D

Our Lady of Guadalupe and Recent Crime in Mexico; Freedom and Volunteering.

I want to share with you a picture I took at my parish, after Mass, last Sunday. I love how they put this picture of Our Lady of Guadalupe next to the altar, with flowers surrounding her. I especially LOVED that they put the Mexican flag behind her. :D Dad said that the celebration, decorations, and flowers are 10x more ornate in Mexico, but that's to be expected.

Oh, and something interesting that we heard a priest say about Our Lady of Guadalupe and Mexico. As many of you know, Our Lady is the patroness of all the unborn children, in addition to being the patroness of Mexico and the Americas. Here's something that made us think: There has been a recently crime wave in Mexico. Innocent victims get killed. Celebrities get kidnapped and held for ransom.... or the get held up or robbed blind. Musicians are getting killed in broad daylight, in crowded streets. Mexican politicians are having accidents, getting killed, or are generally having misfortunes. People are genuinely afraid to go to Mexico because of all this. When did all of this start to happen? When the Mexican government signed the bill which made abortions completely legal for all women in the country! We hadn't even thought about that until we heard the priest say it. Then my father and I (especially my father who keeps up with news about Mexico) came to the realization that he was absolutely right! We thought about it and all of these misfortunes did happen around that time. Could it all possibly be a sign from above to remove that law? I honestly think it's no coincidence and that the government should really think about it. I don't want to even think about what would happen here if Obama does sign the proposed law that would make abortion legal. Let's all pray that that doesn't happen!

Anyway, moving away from scaring you poor people (haha)... I am officially a free woman! WHOO! lol. I finished my last final exam yesterday morning. I would've written yesterday but my entire body ached, including my head, and I was feeling crummy. I still feel kind of blah today, though much better than yesterday. It is no doubt the "residue" from my stress.

Speaking of anxiety, I miraculously did NOT have any panic attacks. I was very afraid that I would, given the amount of stress I had, but nothing. My shoulders and back had knots from the stress and I had some anxiety symptoms but no actual attack! Thank you, God! I will also say a BIG thank you to Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati. I started a novena and asked him for help to calm my anxiety down while doing my exams. I also asked for another important thing but I won't share that until it comes true (and I have a lot of faith and hope that it will come true). :D

Since I now have A LOT of free time until the Spring semester (which begins in February), I was thinking about what I was going to do. Finish the novel, read books, go watch my little "sister" Delaney in a production of Music Man (P.S. Happy 16th Birthday, De!)... but what else? I racked my brain as to what I can until I remembered the Advent: Saint Quiz I took on XT3 (Official WYD/Catholic Social Network site) a couple of days ago. The quiz is about how you celebrate Christmas and which saints you are most like because of it. My answer was actually tied between 3 different categories: "Mostly Bs: For you Christmas is a season of good will", Mostly Cs: You have a real devotion to the mystery of Christmas", and "Mostly Ds: For you, Christmas is a time to celebrate". I remembered that I really wanted to be most like Group B... in which Blessed Pier Giorgio was included in.

As previously stated in an earlier blog on what Bl. Pier Giorgio has taught me, I've been inspired by him to become so much more selfless. I feel like I've been very selfish and I want to change that. Because of that, I've come to the conclusion that I will donate my free time to doing things for other. This is Los Angeles... there are more than enough soup kitchens I can volunteer at. I've already put up a notice on my facebook to see if any of my friends want to join me. I already have one of my best friends on board and I hope others will want to as well!

I am not posting this as a way of saying "Ooh, look at me... I'm selfless. I should be admired!" Not at all!!! I do it in hopes that others will do the same in their towns/cities. With so much commercialism, people have started to forget the real meaning of Christmas. Volunteering at a soup kitchen, donating money, clothing, food, or other things to those who need it -- this is what this time of year should be about. Just think about this: Jesus was born poor, in a manger. Despite his humble beginnings, he did all he could for others. We, who have so much, have absolutely no excuse not to do the same. So, I honestly encourage you to do something... even if it's buying a sandwich for a homeless person.

Alright, I think this post should be long enough to last for a few days... or until I have more to write. :D I hope everyone is enjoying their vacation! As always, thanks for reading and God Bless! :D

P.S. Check out Catholic Everything who were kind enough to contact me about joining their blog list. :D
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Our Lady of Guadalupe

Happy Our Lady of Guadalupe feast day! Being Mexican American, and my parents being proud Mexicans who like to remind me of my heritage on an almost daily basis, today is a big day for my family. You should see my dad's room and how he decorated the table Our Lady is on. I even woke up super early for Las Mañanitas and Mass. I hope you all take time out of your day to thank Our Mother for everything she's done. It doesn't matter if you're not Hispanic/Latino... she's also the Patroness of the entire Americas, the U.S. included. No excuses! Pray at least a decade of the Rosary if you can! I'd highly recommend it! :D

Muchas gracias for todo lo que nos has dado, Nuestra Madre, Morenita Linda. :D <3

This quick post was brought to you courtesy of Procrastination. Procrastination, when you have finals and don't want to study. Not recommended for students with a GPA of 2.5 and lower. And now, back to your regularly scheduled blog reading.

Much Better; Feeling the Love of the Blessed Virgin Mary

I am feeling better today. I missed class yesterday because I woke up feeling very warm (and I was, I checked with a thermometer) and with a headache. Ugh. I honestly like missing class because I feel like I fall more and more behind. There's no way I would've been well in class though. My temperature didn't go down (much) for the rest of the day but at least the headache stopped until about after 1 p.m. But, positive thing, I was able to rest a little (which means faster recovery) and I got to feel closer to our beloved Mother, Mary. :D

I went through a really hard time yesterday morning. I shut the door in my room, knelt down in front of the big Our Lady of Guadalupe and bawled my eyes out. Of course, I also prayed in between sobs. Feeling like crumbs, I somehow found the strength to kneel and stay like that for quite some time. I asked Our Lady to help me understand why some things were said and why I felt the way I did. There was a time when I asked her to please make someone stop saying what they were because it really hurt my feelings, but I ended up changing it to "please help them understand that what that person is saying is very hurtful and doesn't help matters." I honestly felt very alone... and then, a bit later, I had this beautiful feeling like there's no way I'm alone. It's really weird but I felt as though I had our Blessed Virgin Mary there with me. I don't know how many Hail Marys I prayed (I lost count) until I felt better, but I DID feel better.

Every time I go through something where I feel like that -- like I'm alone in this world -- I always pray to her, and to the Lord, to please help me feel like I'm not alone. And every time I ask that of them, I always feel a warmth in my heart that's indescribable. It erases irrational thoughts I have in my head and it makes me feel so much closer to Our Blessed Mother and to Our Lord. It's amazing. I wish I'd started doing this, praying to them, at a earlier age (despite being the youngest of 7, I grew up as if I were an only child)... it would've saved me a lot of heartache. It is definitely something I will teach my (future) children to do. Hopefully they won't stray as I did; though I'm incredibly happy that I found my way back. :D

Alright, well, I'm going to go over my notes for the Philosophy of Logic course because we have a big test due today... then go read Sir Gawain and the Green Knight for British Lit... then try to finish my History of World Religions assignments early... so I can cram for my BIG MIDTERM (oh, how I dread that word) exam for Oceanography. Remember, my Oceanography course crams 16 weeks worth of work into 8 weeks so it's midterm time. *shudders* Prayers to St. Joseph of Cupertino, St. Thomas Aquinas, and St. Dymphna (for my sanity) will be said this entire week. Oh yeah... bring it on! lol.

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D
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Cold, You are NO Friend of Mine; Dreams: End of the World (Again).

I think I have my first actual cold (not just cold-like symptoms) in nearly 3 years. Yes, you read that correctly. The last time I had a full blown cold/flu was in November 2005. You see? I'm pretty healthy, except for my anxiety. :D This blog won't be too long because I want to get back into bed soon. Hopefully my anxiety won't get worse. Prayer to St. Dymphna will definitely be said today! Mister Cold, you are definitely NO friend of mine! I missed my British Lit class yesterday... and my paper was due! UGH! But, trust me, I spent most of the day in bed because I felt like passing out. I only went to the hospital to get the heart monitor taken off. Hey, maybe the whole episode on Sunday was just a warning that a cold was on it's way. Ah!

I had yet ANOTHER end of the world dream. It's been quite a while since I've written about my dreams, eh? I've only had one dream about what happened after the world ended (which I wrote about a few months ago). Most of my dreams that are about the end of the world never get beyond what's happening as the world is ending. Only that one in April has been about what happened afterward -- walking through Purgatory and all of that with my parents and maternal grandmother. Last night's dream was typical except that it went a little further than usual.

In the dream, we looked up to the sky -- the sun was setting behind us and we could see the sky getting darker and all the stars shining like little diamonds in the sky. Then I saw three bomb explosions happening right next to each other in the sky. The explosions were very golden but think of the color of 10 karat gold. That light golden color. Then I saw something silver/metallic coming down from the sky and the earth began to shake violently. I remember going to grab the Our Lady of Guadalupe framed picture that's up on my way and then grabbing the St. Jude statues (kind of like what I do in real life when there's an earthquake) and hold them close to me. I remember seeing a life sized crucifix, with Jesus nailed to the cross. I remember it getting nearer and nearer but then I woke up. Yeah. It's been quite a while since I've had any dreams like that.

Dreams are just weird, man. I haven't told Fr. Leo any of my recent dreams but I know he's interested in them. As Fr. James once told me, my dreams are better than movies. lol. He's absolutely right. :D Hopefully I'll be able to chat with him once my cold goes away. I need to talk to him anyway, see if he can help me with something. :D

Alright, well, I need to get back to bed and drink plenty of fluids. I want this cold out of me as soon as possible. One positive thing about this cold, I have more time for prayer and for movies about saints! WHOO! lol. Hey, when I get sick, I find more time to devote myself to the Lord and prayer so I see it as a blessing... despite the gross feelings. :D

I hope everyone's doing well. As always, thanks for reading and God Bless.
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Missing Mass; Prayer Updates: St. Timothy, St. Dymphna, & St. Martha.

I feel very childish today. Why? Because I cried when I found out I wasn't going to make it to Mass. Mom comforted me (as she always does) saying that things happen for a reason and that God knew that I wanted to be in Mass but couldn't.

See, I had my Oceanography class today. I'm taking a fast paced 8-week Oceanography course that meets once a week on Sundays. I had already planned on leaving early so I could make it to my usual Mass (last English Mass at my parish). Luckily, the professor let us out an hour early since it was the first meeting. I was excited because it meant we would be able to make it to Mass. We stopped at a Target on the way to kill a little bit of time. BIG mistake. When it came time to leave for the parish the car failed to start. Dad took some time trying to find a gas can and then to walk to the gas station. By this time, it was about 15-20 minutes into the Mass. I still had hope we could rush there and at least make half of it. Dad comes back with the gas and then... the car STILL won't start. He then decided to ask people if they would give a jump start to the car's battery in case that was a problem. Quite a few people said no until a woman took pity on us and brought her truck to help. I'm glad we had the jumper cables or else it might've been even more difficult to find help. We finally left the Target parking lot around the time the Mass would've ended. I ended up in tears on the way home.

So, as you can see, it was a pain and it wasn't like I didn't want to go to Mass, I just couldn't because of the car stalling. This is something I always do -- the tearing up. I always get really sad when I can't make it to Mass. *sigh* I'm even MORE bummed out than usual because I had dedicated the Mass as a thanks to Our Lady of Guadalupe and St. Timothy for their intercessions. (Though I will keep why I gave to Our Lady to myself. That's between her and I. :D)

For those of you who have read my blog long enough, you know how I suffered from an intestinal virus (which I got around the time I started traveling) a few months ago. It took about 2 months for it to completely leave my system. It totally threw my digestive system out of whack. I started asking St. Timothy for his intercession (since he is the patron saint of digestive and intestinal problems) and it started getting better. Thankfully, I'm back to normal now and my way of saying "Thank you" to St. Timothy was the Mass. Oh, and while I'm publicly saying thanks to St. Timothy (WHOO!) I want to update some of you on other miracles other saints have done recently.

To further prove how amazing St. Dymphna is (my anxiety is virtually gone now!), I have yet another miracle she's done for someone else. A few months ago, in May, I wrote about the husband of a friend/co-worker of my mother's (Roadtrips, Relationships, Tests, and Prayers Everywhere -- second to last paragraph). Remember how I mentioned he was suicidal? Well, they kept tabs on him and he actually DID read the prayer daily. It seems to have really helped him! He's back to his old self, pre-suicide attempts! It made me SO happy to hear that and I hope that others will see that prayer works! Depression, anxiety, panic disorder, etc; just pray for her intercession and St. Dympnha will help you out. :D

Also, St. Martha has helped my mom out a lot lately at work. Mom said both times she's asked St. Martha for her intercession, it seems like either the time has flown or like there wasn't much heavy labor work to do in the first place.

You can always go straight to Christ and ask him for help or you can find the saint that's the patron of a particular thing and ask them for their intercession. Either way, prayer works... and boy, does it! :D

Alright, well, I have to go read/finish "Beowulf" for my English Lit class tomorrow. Oy, I don't even want to think about how long the day will be. lol. :D I hope everyone had a nice weekend! :D

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless.
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The Rose of St. Jude Thaddeus

Almost two weeks ago dad got 3 roses from the rose bush in front of our home. He put two in front of a statue of Our Lady of Guadalupe that's in his room and one in front of the statues of St. Jude Thaddeus that are in my room. All three were placed in their own water, in the exact same type of glasses, etc. What's odd, in an amazing way, is that the roses that were placed in front of Our Lady wilted within a few days. The rose that's in front of St. Jude has not wilted that much. Really, almost not at all. We don't know why it's lasted so long but we're amazed that it has. I took a picture of it with my camera phone since my digital camera needs batteries (which I still need to get). Oh, and the rose looks better in person than it does in that picture.

We haven't done anything to the rose. It, like the roses that were placed in front of Our Lady, were kept inside with the air conditioner on (we have a central AC so the air's distributed equally throughout the house). Nothing's been added to the tap water that was used. It's definitely weird, in a good way, though. I still have a few days to go in a novena I'm saying to St. Jude as well. I started a novena before we noticed the rose's staying power, though. I don't know what's up but I just thought I'd share this little story with y'all. Maybe it's St. Jude's way of letting me know he's listening to me? If so, man, what an awesome patron saint! :D He's already done so much for me; never lets a prayer go unanswered. :D

Hmm... I wonder if the pink roses I left in front of the Our Lady statue at our parish, last Sunday, have wilted yet. They probably have. *sad sigh*. I'll find out when I go to Mass on Sunday! :D

Alright, well, I have to go read the "argument" section of my Philosophy textbook and then read "Beowulf" for my English Lit course (trying to get everything done a.s.a.p. so I can enjoy the weekend). That is all for now.

'Til next time, thanks for reading and God Bless.
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Back to School: St. Thomas Aquinas and St. Joseph of Cupertino.

Yes, it's that time of year most student dread: Back to school. It's not as bad as midterms and finals week for us college students but it's up there. I was VERY excited, and very nervous, about attending my first day back to school because it's my first time in years since I've had to go on campus for courses. I'm extremely happy to report that I did not have a panic attack or anything. NOTHING. I asked St. Dymphna for her intercession regarding my anxiety, and St. Joseph of Cupertino and St. Thomas Aquinas for their intercession regarding my courses. I feel like they all came through from me (as well as St. Jude Thaddeus and Our Lady of Guadalupe whom were also asked for their intercession by other people). :D

I am loving my Philosophy of Religions professor. She's awesome. The syllabus and what she said we would study is right up my alley. My pseudo-brother/bodyguard is also taking the course with me so I'm going to have back up if needed. I hope that I will enjoy the class. I'm certainly excited.

(WARNING: Skip over the following paragraph to the next if you are squeamish or under the age of 18)

I'm not excited about my History of Religions professor. The course is really good but he's very nutty and makes me feel uncomfortable. Do you want to take a professor who, on the first day, says things like "I know some of you would probably want to cut your veins open (or go to a corner and shoot up some heroin) than be in classes with boring teachers"? He also said we could all go to *ahem* if we didn't want to be in the class and how if he saw that we were all lagging in energy he would tell us to... well, I won't repeat it. Needless to say, I am hoping that I can crash another course because I am NOT going to be comfortable in that class. Oh, and I got many looks when I said I was Roman Catholic. It was like I was a lamb in a Lion's den. Unfortunately, both professors that teach the History of Religions course are notorious for being neither very difficult or ultra-liberal so I am going to have to wait until someone else teaches it to take it. I cannot drop it just yet because I have to stay at full time student status and if I drop it without getting another course, I will be ineligible for financial aid.

I should've totally taken the little accident before the professor came in the class as a sign. First I couldn't find my class even though I passed by 3 times. Then, when I went to sit down, the desk was loose and it pinched the side of my left arm, in a very sensitive spot, and I got the most painful bruise as a result. It still hurts more than 24 hours later. Now, I'm not the most graceful person (haha, understatement of the century) but I have never had that happen to me. I even thought "Oh, I'm not going to think of this as a sign that I'm going to hate this course." And then the professor opened his mouth, said what he said, and I'm totally not happy. Maybe it was a sign from above that I needed to run, not walk, out of that class while I still could. Well, I am hoping for the best (to find a class) and will be optimistic. :D

I want to let all you students, who read this blog, about St. Joseph of Cupertino and St. Thomas Aquinas.

Odds are you are more acquainted with St. Thomas Aquinas because he's the patron saint of students and colleges. He was an amazing theologian. I learned about him in my introduction to Philosophy class last year (summer 2007) and he was probably the best philosopher that we covered in the second half of the course, if not the entire course. If you have any school issues, he's a great saint to pray to for his intercession.

Another great saint that will help you out, especially during exams, is St. Joseph of Cupertino. Sometimes I mistaken call him John; I'm still getting used to his name. Anyway, he was not the best student in school but he still had a vast knowledge on spiritual matters. You can read more about him here. If you say one of the following prayers during exams, he will never let you down.


Prayer #1
O Great St. Joseph of Cupertino who while on earth did obtain from God the grace to be asked at your examination only the questions you knew, obtain for me a like favour in the examinations for which I am now preparing. In return I promise to make you known and cause you to be invoked.
Through Christ our Lord.
St. Joseph of Cupertino, Pray for us.
Amen.

Prayer #2
O St. Joseph of Cupertino who by your prayer obtained from God to be asked at your examination, the only preposition you knew. Grant that I may like you succeed in the (here mention the name of Examination eg. History paper I ) examination.
In return I promise to make you known and cause you to be invoked.
O St. Joseph of Cupertino pray for me
O Holy Ghost enlighten me
Our Lady of Good Studies pray for me
Sacred Head of Jesus, Seat of divine wisdom, enlighten me.

ALWAYS REMEMBER that when you succeed in the exams then you should thank St. Joseph of Cupertino by recommending him to other students with upcoming exams, or students in general.

Alright, well, I have copies to make and things to read for my Philosophy course. I hope to write often, though we'll see how much free time I'll actually have. My schedule's pretty packed this semester. :D

Good luck to everyone heading back to school! :D

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless!
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100th Post; Queenship of the Blessed Virgin Mary; White Hispanic: Que?!

Happy Queenship of the Blessed Virgin Mary day! Yes, I've made it into my own sort of holiday! :D I think it's entirely appropriate (and I LOVE the coincidence) that my 100th blog post landed on one of her feast days because of the devotion I have to her and the Rosary. Also, something not a lot of people know about, my journal is basically letters written to the Blessed Virgin Mary. I write to her as if she were going to physically receive the letters. It's my way of keeping her in my life on a daily basis (or semi-daily; depends on my schedule). It's been suggested that I turn the journal into a book because of the content but it's way too personal for me to do that. Maybe in the future, when I've lived my life, but not now. So now my friends know what I'm writing (I write the letters by hand; my novels and screenplays on computers).

Anyway, I get VERY happy on the Blessed Virgin's feast days because of my love for her. In my opinion, she is ultimate role model we women can have. No, I take that back; not only for women but for all. She was selfless, caring, giving... and she still is. I've never heard of her denying anyone help whenever they've prayed for her intercession. Whether the prayers are to her as Our Lady of Guadalupe, Our Lady of Lourdes, Our Lady of Fatima, etc, she will never let us down because we are her children. Her love and compassion for us is boundless. I've felt a strong connection to her basically since I was born. I was baptized at the Church of Our Lady Queen of the Angels (here in L.A.) which is dedicated to her. When the big 1994 Northridge earthquake happened, the big framed picture of her (as Our Lady of Guadalupe) that hung in my room was the only thing (along with a picture of me in my first communion dress) that didn't fall off the wall. More about that here. There are more examples but you get the gist. I think it's because of the connection I feel with her that I started praying the Rosary. And, I have to admit, she's a HUGE reason why I stopped being an inactive Catholic (ie- not attending Mass) 2 years ago. St. Jude also gets credit here but our Blessed Mother was really the "force" that really got me back to where I am today. For that, I am truly grateful. I hope everyone takes at least a minute out of their time, today, to give thanks to her for all she's done for us. Even if you've never asked for her intercession, remember that she was the one who gave birth to, and cared for, our Lord Jesus Christ. :D What better day to say at least one "Hail Mary" or at least one Rosary decade in her honor than on the day we celebrate her being named Queen of Heaven and Earth, of angels and saints? Go on, take a break from reading this blog and say a "Hail Mary"... I'll wait. :D Done? Good!

Deviating from the loveliness that is Our Blessed Mother, I want to ask something to the readers of this blog. Are any of you, who were born here (in the United States) and are of Hispanic and Latin heritage, bothered by the term "White Hispanic"? I don't know why but that term kind of makes me cringe. I usually say I'm American but of Hispanic heritage. I don't know; maybe I'm too sensitive to the phrasing but, honestly, I don't see the point of adding "White" in front of the Hispanic part. And don't get me started on how sometimes people don't think I'm Hispanic until I speak Spanish. Many jaws have been dropped when I've done that. lol. Physical traits and skin color is not going to help you figure out where a person's from. And if y'all think I'm making it up, wikipedia has a page just on this topic. Yes, take what's written on wikipedia with a grain of salt because people can edit the pages but it sounds legit. Anyway, if you have any comments on that, don't hesitate to leave me a comment or e-mailing me at my gmail address (it's part of my profile). I'm curious to hear what others have to say on the matter.

Anyway, I'm off to finish doing my e-mail and facebook rounds (make sure I've answered all messages) before praying the Rosary. Whoo! :D As always, thanks for reading and God Bless!
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A Little Update

Oh, my lovely dears, Miss C.N.W. has not been well lately. After an amazing day last Sunday, my health has declined and it stinks. It's not even just me... it's my mother as well. My mom has acute tonsillitis which has made her miserable. I don't exactly know what's wrong with me but it's no doubt something anxiety related. I've been very weak (I can't really walk and I feel like passing out most of the day). My anxiety's gone up a lot lately... but it's more of a type of depression because the water works have been opened almost daily and I've gone through a lot of tissues. It stinks. I missed Mass today because I don't feel like I can stand up and walk long enough to make it through the entire Mass (not to mention that I had a mini sob-fest/anxiety thing a few minutes before we had to leave for Mass). Ugh. What I hate more than being sick is missing Mass. :(

As you might have guessed, I missed one of my weekend trips. I was able to make one of them on Friday but it was a day trip so it wasn't too bad. I did NOT have fun though... unless lack of sleep, lack of food, panic attacks, crazy hot weather, and the notoriously bad Southern California traffic is your idea of fun. lol. We're going to wait until both my mom and I are well enough to go on the second one and visit her family in her home country... well, the home country of her family's (my mom's technically American). I'm definitely looking forward to that.

I don't know when I'll be able to come back online and write a legit blog. Hopefully I'll get better soon. I'm sure all my prayers to Our Lady of Guadalupe will be answered. Actually, I'm sure of it. I asked her to give me anxiety (which I didn't have for a long while) in exchange for my mom's health... and I've been getting more anxious as my mom's been getting better. I got a lecture from my mom not to do that again. (Yes, even at 23, my parents -- as well as my older brother -- feel the need to give me lectures). Oops. lol. Hey, it's worth it because I, at least, know that what I get is anxiety and I am so used to it, I can handle it.

I hope everyone is doing well. :D Don't worry about me, sooner or later I will get better; a giddy, happy, healthy me is a fearsome thing to behold. Y'all have been warned. lol. I'm not too worried about being sick because I've placed myself in God's hands and know He will take care of me. :D Whooo! lol. :D

Alright, I think I need a nap because I'm starting to feel a little lightheaded and kind of loopy. Oh yeah, great fun. lol. As always, thanks for reading and God Bless.

P.S. A happy 23rd birthday to one of my best girl friends and a happy 25th birthday to one of the nicest guys I've ever met!! :D
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Earthquake Edition: Heading Straight for St. Jude Thaddeus.

We just had an earthquake in the Los Angeles area (5.8 on the Richter scale; edit: They are now saying 5.4) and, let me tell you, almost all of our neighbors ran out of their homes. We (dad and I) were one of the few people who stayed inside. At first I wasn't sure if the kids were running outside and thus making everything shake (I live upstairs). When I realized that EVERYTHING was shaking and that things were falling, I hurried (as calmly as I could) to the door frame in my room. The first thing I did was look to see if the statues of St. Jude had fallen. When the shaking got more intense and saw the oldest statue (the one we've had from before the last major earthquake) was ready to fall I let out a "Oh, St. Jude, don't you fall on me!" and grabbed it. One of the little St. Jude things I had in my room did fall but, thank goodness, it was plastic and tiny so nothing broke. If you read one of my first blogs (Puppy, Clean-a-thon and Miracles) you know of the story of this particular St. Jude statue and how it didn't fall until we were all safely under the doorway, during the 1994 Northridge Earthquake. If you'd like to read the story, please click on the link; pictures are included.

They say that during the moments of crisis, you are drawn to and think of things that you consider most important to you. My initial reaction during earthquakes and aftershocks are always go to my bedroom's door frame (which is in the sturdiest part of the house) and reach for the statue of St. Jude. The first that popped into my mind was that I hoped my mother and the patients (she works at a hospital) were okay, followed by where my father was (in the kitchen) and then asking him to grab the statue of Our Lady of Guadalupe (in his room) so that it wouldn't break. Really, I wanted to go around the house and grab all the statues and crucifixes we had so that they wouldn't break if they fell. When the shaking stopped, I reached for my cell phone and sent a message to all my friends in the L.A. area and made sure they were alright. (Cell phones were down for about an hour for all of us; Mom was worried because it took her an hour to get a hold of us.) The last reaction I had was "Oh, I'm wearing these itty bitty shorts, I should probably put on some pants in case we need to evacuate." lol. If that thought process is any indication of what I consider most important to me: my faith, my parents, my friends, others' safety, etc. I think I'm pretty good with my priorities. :D

Oh, and a little side notes from some of our neighbors: the local mall was promptly evacuated (people BOLTED out of the stores) and, closer to the epicenter, broken jars at markets were reported (from friend's text messages).

Anyway, I thought I'd give a little update. I wasn't going to, initially, because I try to write when I have something related to Catholicism and I didn't... up until the earthquake. In a way, thank goodness for it. lol. Yeah. Alright, well, I have to go put things that fell back in their place and then I have to go work on my novel and read so, busy time for the rest of the day.

As always, thank you for reading and God Bless. :D
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Mass with Mariachi; (Possible) Nun Fighting Crime.

Early blog tonight because I have movie night with my mom this evening, not to mention a zillion other things to do before my extremely hectic day tomorrow. Seriously, if I make it through the chaos that is tomorrow, I can make it through anything! :D

I don't know if I mentioned it but my plans to have dad come to Mass with me hit a snag last Sunday. He felt that we (mom and I) were pressuring him to attend Mass and he refused. Yup, I'm definitely his daughter! lol. (I also become stubborn and refuse to do things when pressured). Anyway, he attended Mass with me today (whoo!) which was awesome... even though we got there at least 5 minutes late. Hey, I was ready on time but I am not the one in this household who can drive the car (the steering wheel is impossible for someone as small as me) so I had no other choice than to wait for dad to be ready. But, the important thing is that we made it to Mass! :D Next weekend, I hope to have both of my parents there with me (mom worked today). Anyway, today's Mass was in English BUT we had a mariachi band there, which made Mass ah-mazing! I believe they are a traveling Mariachi band from Tijuana, BC, Mexico. Their outfits are awesome -- with Our Lady of Guadalupe's image sown onto their shirts. It was kind of funny, though, because it was a Mass said in English but with Spanish hymns being sung. Probably more than half of the congregation didn't sing today because not all of us were bilingual. Oh man, the laughter I had to keep in... lol. It was fantastic though. I loved it. :D I highly recommend attending a Spanish Mass at least once in your lifetime, even if you don't understand Spanish, just to see what the vibe is like. It's totally unlike the English Masses. :D

I had to ask a good friend of mine if I could share the story of a conversation we had not too long ago (he said yes). We were discussing classes (since we'll be attending the same college for the next year; we'll both be done next summer) and I said something along the lines of how it was safe to say that I was probably the only person he knew who was majoring in Religious Studies. That led to talk about how we would have interesting philosophical conversations... and how he would know a nun (I mentioned I was thinking about considering the vocation since I still don't know what my vocation is). That then led to a conversation about how he would be fighting crime, injustice, evil, etc; and how he would need me (as a nun) to help him out. We would be kind of like super heroes. lol. I don't remember specific details about the rest of the conversation but it was hilarious. I can always count on my friends to make me laugh when I need cheering up. :D So, yeah, if it's my vocation to become a sister or nun and you hear of one who fights crime with her pseudo-brother (I call him my bro sometimes :D), that might be me. Of course, I say this with respect and without offense to those who are called to the vocation of religious life. I have nothing but the utmost respect for them. :D

Alright, well, I have quite a few forms to fill out for my (more than likely) exhausting day tomorrow so I should get to that so I can enjoy the rest of my evening. :D Oh, and I have been incredibly inspired lately so I am going to knock out quite a number of pages for my novel as well. It all makes me want to make a conga line as a form of celebration. lol.

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless.

P.S. A special hello to all my friends who are happy to see the "old" me back -- the me that was "Wonder Woman" prior to my anxiety debilitating me. :D Yeah, baby! lol.
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Saint Dreams: Part... Well, I Lost Count. St. Benedict of Nursia, Our Lady of Lourdes and St. Bernadette.

I had every intention to writing about a few of the saint dreams I've had lately. If you've been reading this blog long enough, you know I have these saint dreams quite often. Fr. Leo, who was the first priest I ever told my dreams to, took an interest to them because (I am guessing) they are vivid and usually have nothing to do with what I'm going through in real life. Last night, I had one of those really scary (at the time) dreams that somehow makes me a stronger person in real life.

And, a little warning: The dream of Our Lady of Lourdes deals with a sensitive subject not suitable for younger readers to please skip over the beginning and start reading halfway down the paragraph.

St. Benedict: The dream I had last night involved St. Benedict of Nursia. I've mentioned him a few times in previous blogs because he's been featured in my dreams quite often. Usually, when I pray for his intercession in my dreams it's because there's something evil and I'm praying that I be protected from it. In the dream last night, I was somewhere in Northern Europe. I was traveling by myself when I bumped into one of my best friends and her family. After getting hugs from all of them (she has a lot of sisters and a brother -- shout out to her, who will probably read this :D), I decided to go upstairs to change. I didn't know if I was to go up the dark stairs or through the lighted hallway. A group of girls (whom I know in real life, but not personally) told me I had to go up the stairs, but that I had to run quickly because there were dark spirits that would try to hurt me. So, we all run upstairs... and as we did, I felt the most excruciatingly painful pains in my stomach. They burned, that's now painful they were. When we got up to the room (the only room the stairs led to), we found out that the girls felt nothing but that I had these massive lacerations all over my stomach. But before I could do anything, we got rained on with little tiny black bugs, almost the size of lady bugs. So, there the girls were, screaming about how disgusting it all was when I started to pray. I don't know how the bugs disappeared but I know that I began praying to St. Benedict while I placed my hands over my stomach. The girls just looked at me like I was crazy. Then, every time I started a new prayer, I was able to peel the wounds off... as if they were merely stickers. I told the girls that I would make believers of them (they didn't believe that prayer would work -- especially to saints). It was so weird, though. When I peeled the last cut off my stomach, I told them that I wanted St. Benedict to help me because it was the only way I'd make them believe in not only him but God. At the end, my belly didn't have anything... it was like nothing had happened. Then I woke up. I am leaving a lot of other details but that is the gist of it.

Our Lady of Lourdes: A few weeks ago I had a dream in which Our Lady of Lourdes had a huge part in a miracle. I was at this theater watching a play when I went outside to do something (I believe it was to call my father to pick me up for the theater). When I came back in, this guy said he wanted to talk. He (whose identity I will never reveal because he's a friend of mine in real life; weird, eh?) then proceeded to try to take advantage of me. So then I tried to tell others of what happened when the play got out but they didn't take me too seriously. Story of my life. Anyway, I left, obviously upset and somehow ended up in a humongous football (American football) stadium with friends. The guy came by to where we were sitting and said something about "Too bad, so sad" which really upset me. I somehow found out that he'd done the same to another girl and that she'd disappeared. So I tried to look for her but I was warned by some guys that I'd disappear, she like she did, and that no one would care. I didn't care and continued my search for her. I ended up near these white and sandy colored rocks, which were part of a cave-like thing entrance. I had a feeling she was there, so I looked up and this kind of rock arch outside the cave and she was there for a split second but disappeared. So I dropped to my knees, in front of all these people, took a white rosary in my left hand and raised it up to the sky and started praying for the girl. I closed me eyes and when I opened them I saw other people had gathered to pray for the girl as well. I looked up and saw Our Lady of Lourdes, dressed entirely in white, and smiled because I knew she'd grant me the miracle of saving the girl. Then, I turned to my left and saw the girl next to me, smiling gratefully at me. I got up and everyone turned around and saw that she'd appeared without anyone noticing. Then I remember saying... if everyone just prayed the Rosary and didn't care what others thought of their faith and devotions to prayer, that it would make things a lot better for everyone. Then I woke up.

St. Bernadette: Now, I don't remember exactly what happened (because this specific part happened towards the end of a dream) but I do remember that I was standing next to St. Bernadette, near the grotto. I turned around for a split second and saw we were in a completely different room (though I don't know where it was). Before I had a chance to ask, St. Bernadette grabbed my hand and ran out of the room with me, saying that I was not safe (the room turned into bricks and rocks and began crumbling) and that I had to leave. She pushed me out of the way of the rubble and then I woke up.

Some times I wish there was some device that could capture dreams because I feel like I do them NO justice when describing them. The images are so vivid and fresh in my mind that it's almost like I actually lived them instead of having dreamt them.

Can you believe it took me nearly 4 HOURS to write this blog? I got distracted by other things (like some kids breaking this huge window by the mailboxes -- sounded horrible as it was breaking). Yeah.

Anyway, that is all for now. I have confessions in a little while and need to get ready for that. :D As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D
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Miss C.N.W. Karate Chops Boredom with Prayer.

I am in the midst of summer cleaning. It's my version of spring cleaning, only I do it in the summer to fight off boredom. Okay, and I also do it so that when I start my classes I am organized and not overwhelmed. It's taken me 3 days to finish just my desk alone... because I have been plagued with this annoying boredom induced busyness that won't go away. If you didn't get that (friends often say I have my own language and way of saying things), basically, I've been busying myself with the most mundane things to fight off the boredom that has gotten a hold of me.

One thing that all of this is doing is that I get so focused on other things that I lose track of time and then by the time I'm ready to say the Rosary or something else, I'm too exhausted (sleepy) to properly pray. I just realized that it's been a good 2 weeks since I last said the Rosary and I absolutely HATE IT! It's funny (in an unfunny sort of way), I've been feeling physically well and the anxiety's gone down pretty drastically lately, but spiritually I feel horrible. I LOVE praying the Rosary (even though every Tuesday and Friday you are guaranteed tears from me) and realizing that I haven't been keeping that up is horrible! I do, throughout the day, say a little something to Our Lord but not the way I should be praying. One of the novels I'm working on is based on devotion to Our Lady of Guadalupe... and I haven't written in that for weeks (and I'm several pages behind my goal for the day). I have been trying to finish St. Teresa of Avila's autobiography for months (I haven't read anything for months, lol) and I am gonna start all over again because I've forgotten a few things that were in the book that I will want to talk about on this blog. Ugh. I am a mess when it comes to praying but I have a plan that will combat my boredom AND help me get back on track with prayer, reading St. Teresa's book, and working on my novel(s).

My plan of attack? Reading the book, writing in the novel, and praying. Sounds so simple, right? It does but actually executing the plan when you're tempted to get online and waste your time on mind numbing things like that darn Hatchling's game on facebook (man, I need to uninstall that!), it's tough. So, that is what I'm going to do. I'm going to read St. Teresa's words, write at least 5 pages from each novel, and praying for all the things I need to pray for. What better thing to do than to pray for help and comfort for those who need it, right? I'm going to keep alternating those things around (with an occasional soccer game or movie thrown in) until I get things done. When I am done with the autobiography, I'll focus on the novels and praying until I'm done. When I am done with the novels (which I am estimating to be done by late next-month, if things go according to plan), I'll keep praying, and I'll add more intentions until I go back to school. Then, it'll be coursework and prayers. Bottom line is that I am NOT going to let my praying fall behind, like I've been letting it happen, from now on. And now that I've semi-ranted about that, lol, I think I will get offline to finish cleaning and then get on to my reading, writing, and praying. And, for those of you who follow my "Currently Listening To" list (or my last.fm page)... no, that is not semi-cheesy Europop I'm listening to while I clean. That's all in your imaginations *ahem*; yes, that is Celtic music I am listening to. I can't help it, I love Celtic/Irish things. :D

Well, that's it for now. I'll try to write about my St. Bernadette dream (she saved me from danger), and my Our Lady of Lourdes dream -- both were on separate occasions -- next time. I think some people will be interested in them. :D. 'Til next time, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D
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