Thought of the Day -- Soul Mates

I read something that really made me think. It said that your soul mate will change your life permanently even if he/she doesn't stick around long. That got me wondering, does that mean I've met my soul mate because I've met someone who's really changed who I was for the better? He and I are no longer friends, and that it ended pretty badly, but I got A LOT out of the friendship and I am truly grateful to have had him around for the time I did. At the same time, I have another person who's had a huge effect on me since he came into my life 2 years ago. Though he and I will never get together in a romantic sense (and I know that comment destroys some of my friends hopes of him and I getting married some day, lol), knowing him has made me grow up and slowly fine tune parts of myself to make them better. Funny thing is that he doesn't even know it... and I will never let him know because I'm stubborn like that. lol. Does this mean that we have more than one soul mate? And, if so, is it different from the whole concept of finding The One and marrying them? Do we just have one soul mate, making the article I read completely bogus? A' ponderin' I will go. :D

If you have any comments or anything on this topic, please feel free to leave a message in the comments. :D

Thanks for reading and God Bless.
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The Rosary, and Holy Cards.

If there's one thing that's always helped me center myself, it's praying the Rosary. I've made it a promise to pray the Rosary twice a day as a Thank You for keeping to Our Lady for keeping my feeling well during the day. It works. You can argue that it's my deep faith that keeps me optimistic but I still owe a big part of my sanity to St. Dymphna and to Our Lady. I'm relieving St. Jude Thaddeus from intercession because I feel like I asked him way too much 2 years ago when I was first sick. He's still one of my patron saints, though. :D

Something else that I can always count on... at least one my friends knowing EXACTLY what I need when I need it the most. I received two Holy Cards (and a little angel pin with my birth month colors) today as a gift from one of my best friends. One card was of Mother Teresa and the other was of Our Lady of Fatima. I LOVE collecting Holy Cards with prayers on them because I think it's important to pray and to also have a little reminder of each saint with you. To paraphrase something on one of the episodes of That Catholic Show, having the little prayer/holy cards is like having a picture of a family member... only they're saints. :D

Okay, well, sorry for SUCH a short entry. I've been lightheaded and just feeling horrible all day. Seriously, I was in my bedroom most of the day. Blah. :( Anyway, thanks for reading and God Bless.

P.S. Happy 28th Birthday to El Capitan -- Steve Gerrard (Gerrard... can kick a ball 40 yards... he's better than Frank Lampard... Steve Gerrard, Gerrard). :D
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Thank you, St. Dymphna!

I am beyond exhausted so I'm making this short.

Thank you, St. Dymphna, for your intercession last night (from about midnight until about 3 - 4 a.m.)! I had one of the worst panic attacks last night and shortly after I asked her for her intercession, it went away. I wouldn't say it was almost immediately but I was very surprised at how soon I was back to normal. So, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU, St. Dymphna!

When in need of help when it comes to anxiety, panic, depression or any other mental health issues, St. Dymphna is your girl! Remember that!

And now, I am going to go eat, pray the Rosary (as my promise to Our Lady) and then sleep for hours! As always, thanks for reading and God Bless!
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Music, Soccer, and St. Maria Goretti.

I have missed playing my guitar! It's been months since I last picked it up and I truly miss it. A few days ago, a melody I'd never heard just randomly popped into my head. I repeated it a couple of times but chalked it up to a fluke because I haven't written a song in years -- since I was 18-19 to be exact. I've forgotten the melodies but have the lyrics in my mind. Typical writer, eh? lol. This morning, my favorite cousin (who I call my brother because he's more like a brother than my actual brothers) came over to visit -- which is always awesome because he's the best bro a girl could have. Anyway, I asked him how the kids were and he said that my niece had taken up piano, my eldest nephew was following in my footsteps by taking the guitar, and that the youngest wants to be a drummer. Not only that, bro said that my first guitar (which he's own since January 2007; I upgraded my acoustic) will be passed down to my nephew as soon as he can play it (it's too big for him at the moment). I felt very happy and proud to hear that. I come from a musical family. I'm the only musician (and I use that term loosely when describing myself) out of my siblings, though I have cousins who are actual musicians (and they actually have careers in the Latin market). It's great that the younger generation has started getting into the tradition at such a young age. If I do decide to start creating music again, it will be nothing like I have done before. I'm no longer in a Fiona Apple phase like I was at 18 (think of her album "When the Pawn..." and, in particular, the song "Love Ridden" to get the idea). Oh... I just remembered that I will have to build up my calluses again... ick. Oh well. As long as I get to make music again, I won't care. :D

One thing I don't have to ponder about... my love of soccer. Today was a BIG day for me in terms of soccer because my two favorite national teams, England and the United States, played a friendly against each other. As you can imagine, I did not root for one side to win -- I was cheering them both on! I was happy England won but I'm sad the U.S. lost. I'm stoked that Gerrard got a goal (he's quite possibly my favorite footballer/soccer player of all), especially since it's just 2 days before his birthday, but I'm bummed that Donovan didn't get his 100th cap because of an injury. What a weird situation but I enjoyed every minute of it. lol. Of course. I'm looking forward to next week's friendly -- U.S. vs Spain. Oh man, how I wish I could go to Spain for that game! I would've loved to have gone to London for today's game (and was actually planning on it before the darn recession dried up my savings account) as well. Well, good luck to the U.S. next game. I'm going to HOPEFULLY see the U.S. against Barbados in person in a few days. Plans are tentative. I have to see if I can blackmail a certain male friend of mine into going with me because I don't want to go by myself. lol. I'm kidding about the blackmailing but I will definitely have to work on him because I doubt he'll want to go. Well, too bad. lol. ;)

Yesterday I wrote about how I'd felt a strong connection to St. Maria Goretti. It's very true. It's been slowly building up for a few months but recently it's really hit me. It's not quite as strong as the connection I feel with the Blessed Virgin Mary or even with St. Teresa of Avila (I'm still amazed at the things I have in common with her), but it's there. I've watched a program on EWTN en Español about her life and it got me thinking about a lot of things. I recently read something about how feminists have an issue with St. Maria Goretti, as well as other martyrs of purity, because they represent sexism in the Catholic Church... as well as the importance of sexual abstinence over lust and premarital sex. I'm sorry, since when it being purity something bad? I didn't know we all had to be as oversexed as modern society seems to be. Oh wait... we DON'T have to! In fact, it's written in black and white that abstinence until marriage is the way to go as said by the Lord. Hmm... listening to God's word or listening to a society that's immoral... Gee, tough call! (and yes, I did just use sarcasm. lol). I am going to prepare myself for a fight because I KNOW this will come up at some point in my college career. I've already taken a Women's Studies course but I might take another and I want to be prepared to defend her as well as others who value purity over peer pressure. Bring it on, professors! And I know if my former Women's Studies professor were to read this, we would get into an argument. After all, she did call me a prude and make several jabs at me for being pure when I took her class.

Alright, well, I think that's enough torture of your eyes for tonight. lol. As always, thanks for reading and God Bless.
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Updated Blog Layout

I took some things off the layout (like Twitter) and added a slideshow and list of names my patron and favorite saints appear in. I think the slideshow looks kind of neat. :D I realized when I was about to add St. Maria Goretti as a new patron saint (I feel a strong bond with her) that just listing all the saints I love would take up all the right side panel. So, a slideshow was in order. :D That way I don't have to compromise who I do and don't feature. :D I also moved some things around. It was about time. :D

Oh, and if you missed a post which is no longer up -- I will never seriously talk about my relationships on this blog. Who I give my heart to remains a mystery to even my closest friends (only my sister and mother know what's going on at all times). If you see me write something about a "hunky Danish boyfriend" followed by a little side note to a friend, it's an inside joke. The only times I will mention anything in this part of my life will be when I get (seriously) engaged and/or married. Otherwise, anything I may mention is strictly dreams I've had or inside jokes with friends who read the blog.

Alright, well, I'm still feeling a bit sick (I've had a stomach bug for a few days now and it's getting worse every day, boo!) so I'm gonna go rest. Thanks for reading and God Bless.
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Birthday Blessings.

Lucky for you, I have date night coming up in like half an hour so I have to keep my blog short tonight. Go ahead and celebrate. lol.

I went to Mass today feeling very sick (I was sick since last night -- probably something I ate) and there were times when I thought I wouldn't make it but I stuck it out. WHOO! That was a great Mass. I really enjoyed it. :D After Mass, Fr. James (who says that I'm too hard on myself sometimes) blessed me because my birthday is this week, before the next Sunday Mass. He put his hands on my head and blessed me, which was awesome... even when he moved my head around! lol. Then he asked how long I was turning and I told him and he said "OH! GOOD YEAR!" The way he said it was funny. I love Fr. James, he's one of my favorite priests. :D I also got to see Fr. Leo, my other favorite priest, whom I greeted (he was on his way to say the Spanish Mass which starts after the English Mass). I'm just happy I got a blessing and hope that it will give a good kick start to my next year. :D

Alright, well, like I said... this blog is short. I have to go prepare myself for war. Well, okay, a "war" in which I try to get my way on which movie we're watching. lol. As always, thanks for reading and God Bless.

P.S. Thank goodness for my ring finger being occupied or else I would've had an AWKWARD situation during Mass this morning/afternoon. Seriously, ring on ring finger means forget it buddy! lol.
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More Dreams, and Farewell Fr. Hoang!

I don't have much time right now -- Pride and Prejudice (the Keira Knightley version I like) is starting in a few minutes and I still have a bit to do before it starts -- so I'll try to keep this brief.

My strange but wonderful dreams continue to happen. I don't know if it was because one of the last things I did yesterday was write my blog and the topic was still fresh in my mind... but I had a dream that sis and I think might be something. There's two parts to the dream (well, dreams). In the first dream, I dreamt that I was on the verge of dying and I saw the Blessed Virgin Mary came and picked me up. She was shorter than I was, dressed all in white and I remember her skin tone was darker than usually portrayed in paintings. She smiled at me and I immediately knew who she was and was so happy to see her. I believe I said something along the lines of how I'd always dreamt of meeting her. Then I told her I wasn't ready to die but she sent my soul to heaven anyway. I think I died in my dream but not entirely, if that makes any sense. Then I woke up.

Second part of the dream, well, it's still VERY fresh in my mind but I am going to have to leave some details out because I don't want to give away the other people's identities. You gotta be smart online, people. :D Anyhoo, I was working on a screenplay for a movie that was about to go into production. I had all these old friends and classmates from junior high and high school helping me as well as, let's call him Boyfriend, and his brothers. At the end of my dream, I was sitting with Boyfriend, who I'd gone to thank for his help. He ended up thanking me for helping out he and his brothers but I didn't know what I helped them with. (By the way, I should mention that all the places and people in my dream do exist in real life). So, Boyfriend either proposed or was about (that part is a bit fuzzy in my mind -- I just remember details I'm going to leave out that involve my ring finger and feeling like we were definitely spending the rest of our lives together) and then asked me why I'd changed so much "from May to October"; that all the time he'd known me, he would've never figured I'd end up at the place I was at (which was a good place). I told him that I realized that I needed to serve God and I didn't miss Mass, confession, or communion because I knew how important it was. He smiled and was very happy to hear that. Right when that happened, his parents and another brother came to go home. Boyfriend asked if they could drop me off at home because I had no way of getting there. They said yes and they asked me how to get there. I was so embarrassed about where I lived that I considered having them drop me off at the nearby park. I didn't though. Then I noticed that the dad, who was driving, was taking a detour. I wondered why until I noticed that it was to avoid traffic on my way home. That was it but the parts that sticks with me are the feeling that Boyfriend and I knew we were going to end up married and being surprised when Boyfriend asked me how and why I'd changed so much in such a short amount of time.

I think the reasons why those two things stink out are because I've been wondering what exactly I'm called to do... if I'm meant to be married or if I'm supposed to become a sister. Not only that, I don't think I realized until I woke up just how much I'd grown up and changed in such a short amount of time. Even in this past month, I've gone under an enormous transformation that I think a lot of people are surprised with. I'm really growing up (yes, I know I'm 23 but still) and I didn't realize just how much. So, yeah... it's interesting how dreams make you think. (Side note: I kind of freaked out for like 5 minutes earlier today when I was having these little twitchy pressure pains on my left side, slightly above my heart, because of the dream that I had died. So silly but true. lol.) And the romantic part of my dream will no doubt have friends abuzz about me potentially getting married soon. (*whispers* No one tell them about how I've already started designing my dress. Shh!! lol.) Moving on...

I am SO SAD 'cause Fr. Hoang is leaving one of the parishes I attend. I've gotten to know him fairly well and he's awesome. He does my confessions most of the time I do them. Aw. :( Well, may God Bless him. The Lord knows what's best for Fr. Hoang. :D

Alright well, P&P started like 14 minutes ago so I should go. lol. I always write more than I intend. :D Sorry for the long blogs. I will try to keep it shorter next time. As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D
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Cancer News, Greetings from Germany, Change of Plans and Dreams.

First off, I want to give a big WHOOOOOOOOOO!!! because my father has been declared cancer free!!! We just found out a few days ago but since I've been so busy, I haven't had the time. Either way, we're SO HAPPY for dad. He'd been in chemo for over a year and he was getting very tired. Hopefully he'll stay cancer free for the rest of his life because I don't know if he'll be able to make it through a third time. :( We've got to stay optimistic though. :D

Recently I received an early birthday present from a good friend who's currently living and working in Germany... and I can't open it. She specifically wrote that I can't open it for another couple of days. Boo! lol. I'm going to have to give it to mom to hold because I'm too weak to wait. Haha. Hey, I know my weaknesses... this certainly is one. lol. Anyway, it's exciting for me to get stuff from Germany because I love the country and I might be going out there soon. See, my friend in Germany and I have been planning for my trip out there for a year now. Since I was planning on attending a private Catholic college, I had told her that I wouldn't be able to go because of the tuition (which would've been about $32,000 a year!) but since ALL MY PLANS CHANGES, I might be able to go now. Yay!

And speaking of change of plans... I had absolutely NO say in the matter. Due to the recession going on we're making some major sacrifices in the family... and mine had to be my education. Again, I had NO say in what happened. All I know is that one day my parents were all "We support you in whatever you decide to do. We'll help you pay for college" and then the next "We're not going to sign a loan and you can't afford to pay for it yourself so I guess you're not going." Yes, just like that. It completely stinks! So, now I have to enroll at a community college because there's NO WAY I'm going waste time and not further my studies. I already have my schedule planned as well. I have 5 courses which would seem like a heavy load except that I've taken two already (need to take it twice to get credit -- even if I got an A the first time, I need another one this time around). I'm going to have to re-apply to other schools in a few months, as well as scholarships because, sad as it is, I know my parents won't help me pay for school and it's all up to me to come up for the money for tuition. I am definitely still going for my Religious Studies degree (I've decided to become a teacher and teach RST if I don't make it as an author), Catholic college or no Catholic college. I still want to attend one but if it's not in God's plans for me (as this previous school almost was), then I can't change it.

Something my sister D said about my change of plans really stuck with me. She said that maybe God has bigger plans for me that don't involve a college degree because Lord knows how long I've been trying to finish my Bachelor's. So maybe He does have bigger plans for me. Maybe my dream of being a writer is my destiny. You certainly don't need a degree to be an author and I get more work done when I'm not in school. I don't know but I've put myself in His hands and I know He'll point me in the right direction.

And maybe there's clues in my dreams. Yes, we're not supposed to read into our dreams but I've been having some pretty wild ones lately. A few days ago I had a dream that California had an earthquake followed by a tsunami wave. I was caught in the wave (while in a car, under a bridge) but somehow managed to swim rather quickly up to top of this tall building and save my little brother (which I don't have in real life) in the process. Yesterday I had a dream that California was about to have a 7.0 earthquake. I also dreamt I was against people who did magic to get gain things and had St. Teresa of Avila and San Benito (or St. Benedict in English) who is the patron saint against witchcraft. I've been having a lot of dreams that feature Pope Benedict XVI. I have a feeling I'm having these dreams for a reason, but I don't know what this reason is. Only time will tell.

Alright, well, I am exhausted (been a bit sick with a stomach thing the past few days) so I should go to sleep since it's almost half past midnight. 'Til next time, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D
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R.I.P. Maria Chapman

I'd like to ask you all to please pray for the Chapman family who lost their little girl, Maria, a few days ago in a tragic accident. Her father, Steven Curtis Chapman, is Christian artist (musician)... no doubt, some of you will know who he is and have heard about this tragic lost. To leave a note of condolences, you can click here on S.C. Chapman's personal blog.

R.I.P. Maria. :(

Roadtrips, Relationships, Tests, and Prayers Everywhere.

I FINALLY have a bit of time to write a blog. I told y'all I would be super busy the entire week. Where to start?

Well, I was able to make it through my latest road trip, in 90+ degree weather, in a car with NO AIR CONDITIONING *whimpers* without a single panic attack. OH YEAH! *dances around* It was amazing. The freeways were ridiculously crowded in Orange County (moreso than in Los Angeles, if that's possible) and we were bumper and bumper pretty much all the way back home. Not only that, we got lost a minimum of 6 - 7 times because we were given crummy directions and got lost for a great while. 14 hours, countless road turns, one big accident that forced all the cars to get off the freeway, several hours outside in the heat, and a total of 5 hours of sleep... until I was able to get home and jump on my bed. lol. I literally ran to my bed, jumped on it and yelled "I love you"... I was SO tired but incredibly happy that I'd survived in one piece. It totally helped that my sis called and entertained me during the last miles between the OC and and first couple of L.A. county lines. I hope that the next road trip is as successful (in the panic attack area) but with less traffic and less getting lost. lol.

So, a few days ago I started writing this blog about relationship and all these things because of the purity ring (it's NOT an engagement ring) that my sis gave me for my birthday. (It made me get all philosophical). Well, I decided not to post it because I remembered that I do have reader under about 16 and I didn't want to be as blunt as I would've with the older readers. So, to put all that I wanted to say in a rated G nutshell... I don't understand why we women are expected to act and dress provocatively nor why, once we reach a certain age, romantic relationships and marriage are pressured onto us. It's just dumb. I really hope that less and less girls listen to what society expects from us because society is one messed up deal. Priorities are not where they should be. I read a list on the Roman Catholic (Global) group and I wanted to share this with any young girls and women reading my blog (and I know a few that do). I truly hope women listen to those words that were written by Kristen Wellman. She's a smart woman and I completely agree with everything that was written. Please go click on this link to read it for yourselves. :D Moving away from this topic (which I hope to someday write in detail about)...

I am going to spend the next 2 weeks really studying and brushing up on some things I will need to refresh my brain on for upcoming exams. Since I didn't decide until last week (really... I'm the most indecisive person you'll ever meet) what school I was going to be attending, I didn't know whether or not I would be tested on certain subjects. Well, I am. I know I won't be tested in English since I've already passed the English 101s and have taken English Lit but I will be tested on Math as well as a Foreign Language of my choice. I could easily go down the "I'll test for Spanish" since I speak, read and write it fluently. That's the easy path to take. I could brush up on the very little French I know and take a French test. I could also pick a completely different language I don't know and try my best to learn at least the simplest things I can and hope it'll help me not be put into the lowest remedial class possible. lol. I was thinking about taking Danish at a nearby language institute in honor of my awesome boyfriend who's from Denmark (Hey Sabrina... she shoots, she scores! HAHAHA!) but I'm told it's a really hard language to learn so maybe I'll just stick to French. Either way, I will be a mean, lean, studying machine for the rest of this month and early into next month. I will be taking two off days before and after my birthday because, who wants to study on their birthday? Not me! lol. Fingers crossed that I do well.

Another thing I have my fingers crossed on... that my missing Mass today isn't a mortal sin, and that it's (at most) venial. See, I woke up on time to go to the early English Mass but I'd been sick (stomach problems) all night and morning long and I honestly wouldn't have made it through the entire thing. That with the added sleepiness I had (haven't slept enough hours for about 2 weeks now)... I didn't even make it through the Pope Benedict XVI's live Mass in Genoa (Italy) that I was watching on EWTN! (quick note: I will hopefully write about all the Pope dreams I've had in the next blog). I ended up falling asleep for another hour or two. I did, however, do the sign of the cross when I woke up and heard the Pope had finished Mass, and then heard another priest bless the viewers. lol. I only seem to wake up when that happens and I do it without thinking. I LOVE doing that. It's such an awesome habit I've gotten. By that time, it was really hot (it was probably over 100 degrees Fahrenheit today) and I knew dad would've have taken me to Mass anymore. Also, I was still very nauseous so I probably wouldn't have made it through the next English Mass. :( See, normally I would tell my dad to at least drop me off at Mass but I know the hot weather really wreaks havoc on him, physically, and since he doesn't go inside the Church (no matter what I say), I know he wouldn't have made it through the entire hour of Mass in the heat. He's been pretty sick because of the heat and I didn't want to add to it. I really hope my missing Mass isn't a mortal sin. Either way, I'll no doubt try to go to my parish as soon as I can to talk to a priest about that. Have a mini confession. I tell ya, I won't make it through next Saturday with a potential mortal sin hanging over my head. Oh, and I stupidly said the Lord's name in vain (again, unintentionally) when Beckham was tackled really nasty during the L.A. Galaxy v Dallas game today. I honestly thought Becks was going to be injured. Thank goodness he wasn't.

OH! Something that I'm VERY happy about... well, two things... I was able to pray the Rosary in front of many people (I do it in hopes that others will as well) when waiting to see the doctor on Friday AND I gave a prayer card to someone who really needed on a different day. See, I said the Rosary because I wasn't feeling too well, and was feeling kind of antsy. It's something I do. After I was done, I walked around with the rosary still in my hand... and I LOVED it. I love holding it. :D

About a week or two ago, I heard from my mom that a coworker of hers was having problems with her husband who tried to commit suicide for the second time. He suffers from depression among other things. I immediately said I wanted to give my mom the extra St. Dymphna so that she could pass it to her coworker's husband. I kept forgetting until one day, last week, when I knew I'd be able to give it to my mom so she could pass it along. Well, I ended up giving the prayer card to the man himself! I went to the hospital and personally gave it to him. I was overjoyed that as soon as I gave it to him, he prayed it and thanked me for it. I heard he hadn't been up to talking to anyone for days so I felt blessed being able to not only give him the prayer card, but be well received by him. Mom and I told him to pray to St. Dymphna, for her intercession, and that she'd help him. She (St. Dymphna) has helped me through some doozies when my anxiety's been amped up, and since she covers all mental and nervous illnesses, I know she'll help him! I haven't seen him since but my mom's seen him and she says he keeps it by his bedside and that he reads it every day, twice a day. It makes me VERY happy to hear that. In fact, I almost cried when I heard that he'd been grateful that I'd personally gone to give him the prayer card. He's actually touched that I would do that... especially since I'm a stranger to him. What he doesn't know is that it's by absolute pleasure to do it! I feel obligated to do it, but obligated in a good way. I would honestly do it for anyone who I heard was in a similar situation, stranger or friend. I don't say this to brag, like "Ooh, look at me... I'm SUCH a good person." Not at all. I write it because I want people to know that it is possible to do something for someone you don't know and have it mean something to them. I think people underestimate that the "littlest" things they do, including praying for a person, is amazing. And I don't even think about how it makes ME feel... the fact that it's given him hope is all that matters. I honestly don't care about personal profit (even if it's just emotional satisfaction) as long as it makes a difference in someone else's life. And isn't that basically what we should be doing? I don't know... maybe it's because I've always been this way (friends say I'm very motherly) but I feel like we all have to help those who aren't as well off as we are. Oh boy, that sounded very preachy and kind of conceited. lol. That was honestly not my intention. I'll shut up on the topic now!

Alright, well, I have a LONG day ahead of me again tomorrow *groan* and a ton of lost sleep to catch up on so I should end this blog. Oh... but before I do, can we give the Galaxy a round of applause for beating Dallas at their (Dallas') home stadium for the first time in 4 years?! *claps* 5-1, baby! I'm so proud of my Galaxy men! Okay, well, now... as always, thanks for reading and God Bless. ;D
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Bella!

I rewatched Bella before I sent it back to Netflix and I have to say, I was sad to part from it. SUCH A BEAUTIFUL FILM! If there was one film I could watch for the rest of my life, it would be this one... and you know that's saying something when I'm a cinephile (movie lover).

If you haven't already, I strong recommend/urge you to at least rent this film. I would seriously say "BUY IT!" but I know a few people would be skeptical about buying before watching so definitely rent then buy it! This is what a wonderful movie, with a beautiful message, is supposed to be like.





Click on the "x" either on this banner or on the banner on the side panel to get transported to their site. I really hope some of you readers go ahead and buy the film. It's really worth it.

Sorry for my lack of updates but things have really picked up for me. Tomorrow I'm going on a road trip to see someone who can help me with my anxiety. Please say a little prayer that the trip goes better than the last one (I got really sick last time)... and that the heat behaves because there is NO air conditioning in the office. eesh.

As always, thanks for reading and God bless. :D
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Best Birthday Present!

Birthday presents have started coming in (my birthday is coming up soon) and today I received the first, and probably BEST, birthday present I could've asked for... and you're looking at it. I will hopefully go into more detail in the next blog (I have a million and one things to do today) but let's just say that this ring, what it symbolizes, and the fact that my sis helped make this ring a reality, means more to me than anyone can guess. :D More details to come. :D

P.S. It's a purity ring so please don't think I'm engaged. I'm not.
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Mother's Day Adventures, EPL Season is Done *sad sigh*, and Je Ne Comprends Pas!

It's a few minutes after midnight so... it's officially the day of the American Mother's Day. Happy mother's day to any and all mothers that might read this blog. :D And before anyone asks... I gave my mother a ring with an angel on it and I also signed her name (as well as the names of my 3 Godmothers) to a list of all the mother's being honored with a Mother's Day Novena at the Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception. I don't think I'll ever be able to top that gift because mom said it was the best present I could've given her. Maybe the birth of her first grandchild will top that. Sorry, mom, but you'll have to wait quite a while for that since I have no intention of getting married anytime in the near future.

Mother's Day was hectic, but fun! I got my mom to go with me to Mass at my old parish. I loved it for many reasons... 1) I got one of my parents to attend Mass with me, 2) I love my old parish, and 3) it was awesome to see Fr. Leo and Fr. James again. In fact, when Fr. Leo was going around sprinkling Holy Water on everyone, he came to my section, saw me... did a double take and came back and sprinkled me with some more Holy Water. Yes, that's right... I got it twice! lol. After Mass, Fr. Leo jokingly said that he hoped he didn't drown with me all that Holy Water. lol. I think he wanted me to be twice as blessed, especially since he knows about my situation with my anxiety. Gotta love Fr. Leo! :D I also got to talk to Fr. James (had a confession with him) about how I'd said the Lord's name in vain and he said that since I didn't intentionally say it, and that I seemed genuinely sorry for having said it (I had tears when I confessed because that's how much I hate offending Him), that it wasn't a mortal sin... that it was probably a venial sin. He thinks I'm too hard on myself and that I'm very sensitive. I don't think I'm hard on myself but I agree that I am sensitive. It's funny, I'm sensitive about certain things but not every thing. :D Anyway, after Mass, and after Fr. James blessed my new rosary and scapular, we did a bunch of errands and were in the car for most of the afternoon. It really was too much traveling in the car. Oy! But, we got things done, which is important. :D

When we got home, I was about to watch the final Liverpool game of the season (it was aired as a delayed broadcast) against Tottenham. What a GAME! Dad and I were on the edge of our seats at the end. We kind of bagged on poor Voronin until he scored then we just said sorry. lol. I was super excited when Torres scored! 24 Premier League goals, 33 total in all competitions, in his first season in England! El Niño is on fire! While it's disappointing that we didn't win anything this season (and that we finished 4th in the League), I am excited about next season. Bummer that I'll have to wait until August, when I'll be moving. *le sigh* I will miss you, my beloved English Premier League (EPL). Well, at least I have the MLS and upcoming international games. :D Oh and how about a shou tout to the U.S. Women's National Team! They beat Canada's Women's team 6-0. Yes, you read that right... Six to Nil! You go girls! :D

Okay, now, I have a little dilemma... Je ne comprends pas le Français! I seriously need to better my French if I ever want to read "Pythagore, je t'adore" by Patrick Cauvin. Not just that, I need to learn it soon or else I am not going to understand NADA when I go to France! I understand quite a bit of French, and I definitely have the ability to say the basic words I can actually speak with the proper accent/pronunciation, but I am NOWHERE near where I'd like to be. Does anyone know of a good program that will be helpful? Don't even bother recommending Rosetta Stone, I heard it's overpriced (well, I know this for a fact) and that it's not as good as people think. Any suggestions, please feel free to leave me a comment! I'll have to investigate where I can learn French without it being too painful (or time consuming).

Alright, well, it's nearly 1 a.m. and I have another long, busy day... that starts in a few hours. *groan* So tired! Sorry for babbling on. I seem to be doing quite a bit of that lately, don't I? Sorry! :D As usual, thanks for reading and God Bless.
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Mother's Day, Confessions, Saying the Lord's Name in Vain, and My Poor L.A. Galaxy.

Today (May 10) is Mother's Day for all the Mexican and Latin American mothers so... Feliz dia de las Madres to my mom, my big sister, all mamas in my family (including aunts and cousins), my baptism Godmother, my confirmation Godmother and all the other mamas out there. I will give my communion Godmother a shout-out tomorrow 'cause she's American and we celebrate tomorrow. :D

Man, today was a WEIRD day. I was dizzy and lightheaded most of the day. Basically, I was feeling gross until I went to confessions. I was so proud of myself because Fr. Hoang had given me props for what I did in Mass last Sunday (left while I had anxiety but came back to receive communion) and I felt so awesome after I prayed in front of the tabernacle. I was so commitment to what I was praying to God that I left crying... but happy tears. :D After we left that parish, we went to another one (we were in look of a particular prayer card) and dad bought me a scapular and an emerald bead rosary. I've wanted a rosary in this particular color (since the color for my birth month, May, is emerald) for a long time now and I finally got it. I'm definitely counting it as an early birthday present. I was so psyched that I remembered the big things I needed to confess and then it happened... I said "Oh my God!" Yup... I said the Lord's name in vain. *hits face with palm of hand*

This is one really BAD habit that I've picked up over the years. I've been working really hard to break the habit. It's bad! bad! bad! If there is one thing that will always land me back in confession, it's saying the Lord's name in vain. And, to top it off, I don't do it intentionally. I've heard it so many times everywhere (it might be a Southern California thing), and my mom says it a lot (but she says it isn't taking His name in vain), so it's stuck. I've been really good at trying not to say it -- even unintentionally. See, I can usually catch myself and will immediately change it to "Oh my gosh" or "Oh my..." but sometimes it just slips and I don't even realize it until it's too late. I was good about it last week... made it until Thursday when I got a letter that made me temporarily freak out (in a good way). Tonight, it happened when I was getting food. I accidentally spilled and went "Oh my Go..d" I realized as I was finishing the "d" what I'd just said. UGH! And then I got upset over saying that that I went to my room going "I'm stupid! Stupid! Stupid! *sighs* God!" Again, that was so not intentionally! I would NEVER intentionally say it. I would've totally kicked myself if I could. I HATE doing that! I really have to watch what I say because I know it's a mortal sin to say His name in vain. Trust me, if there's one thing I hate more than anything it's a) offending Him and b) having a sin (no matter how small) hanging over my head until the next time confessions roll around. Okay, maybe those are two things but you get what I mean, Though I know I didn't intentionally plan to say His name in vain, I know it's bad. :( *sigh* I'm so angry at myself for letting His name slip. I really am dumb. Ugh! I will try to see if I can make a confession before Mass so I can receive communion. I hate not being able to receive it. :(

I think I was still mad over the whole L.A. Galaxy v New York Red Bulls game. What a GRRR game. lol. To be fair, Galaxy had a better first half than second half but man, oh, man... that darn ref just made me list! He gave yellow cards to Galaxy players over the smallest things (and even gave Becks one that was COMPLETELY random and uncalled for) and when NY would commit fouls and other yellow card worthy things, NADA. Grrr. What's his name... I'm going to check... *2 minutes later* "referee: Alex Prus". Mr Prus, you just made my list... and you don't want to be on my list. lol. If any of you lovely readers know who Rob Styles is... he's WORSE than Rob Styles. Even the commentators were saying how Alex Prus was giving New York chances and that he was being unfair to the Galaxy. Ugh. Mr. Prus, you disgust me! Go back to referee school or something. Okay, rant over. lol. I REALLY wanted to go to tonight's game because they had Brit Week at the Home Depot Center (Galaxy stadium). Oh man, I would've loved to have gone but a) I felt really weak all day and b) I have things to do at home. Blah. Hopefully I'll be able to go do a Galaxy game this season, before I pack my things and move to my new school. I really, really, really want an Alan Gordon jersey (I LOVE him) so I'm hoping to get one if I ever make it to the Home Depot Center. Hmm, maybe I can cash in a trip to a Galaxy game as part of celebrations. Hmmm... I better start plotting. lol.

Okay, well, I think that's all I can say for today. I have a BUSY day tomorrow followed by a ridiculously busy week (I won't get rest until next Sunday) so I should rest as much as humanly possible. If y'all don't get a long blog from me in a week, you'll know why. I'll also be traveling all day on Tuesday (possibly over 12 hours) so if y'all don't even get a post that day, that is why. Just letting y'all know because some of my friends (who read this as a way of keep tabs on me) tend to worry when I am M.I.A. :D I love you guys! :D

Alright, well, as always... thanks for reading and God Bless. :D
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Crosby Loggins Won!

I just saw that Crosby Loggins won the Rock the Cradle competition on MTV. I CALLED IT!!! From the first episode, I became a fan and when he was announced the winner I said "OH SNAP!" and got really excited. lol. I can't imagine how he feels but it must be incredible! I'm just so ecstatic! I can't wait to hear more of his music in the future. :D I have to admit, I thought Jesse might pull the win in the end because he seemed so popular with the ladies but I have never stopped rooting for Crosby. Whoo! :D

And that is my blog for today. lol. Sorry but I have a lot to do before bed and it's already pretty darn late. I will hopefully have a full blog tomorrow... I certainly have enough material for one. :D

Ooh, I'll post a quiz thing to make this a big longer.

What Your City Walk Means

You are optimistic and hopeful. Sometimes you do get disappointed by expecting too much. You are generally confident and friendly with strangers. You are well mannered and sociable. Money is fairly important to you. You aren't super greedy, but you enjoy spending money on yourself. You tend to be organized, logical, and methodical. You're so efficient, people often wonder how you get so much done.

The City Walk Personality Test

Okay, back to work. Thanks for reading and God Bless. :D
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When In Doubt, Ask the Compatomatic Lovebot 3000!

This is just TOO FUNNY! In "honor" of The Story I wrote in my previous blog. I decided to see what the Compatomatic Lovebot 3000 thought of the two people in the story and here's the results (I did it twice, with different words to describe them):

And you know what? It's right!!!

That is just a small little funny thing for today. I don't know if I'll have anything interesting to write about later maybe this is today's blog. Hmm. Either way, if you haven't read yesterday, you really should! I'm anxious to see what people think of The Story. :D

Sorry for the interruptions. You may now return to your regularly scheduled blog reading. :D Thanks for reading and God Bless.
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Bella, A Little Romance, and Aaron Shust.

I just got done watching the movie Bella. My goodness! I absolutely loved it! It was a lot different than what I expected but loved it nonetheless. It was so real. There were no overbearing clichés... the film was absolutely perfect! The acting was superb, the story itself is a little jewel; I am completely in love with this film. It definitely has a pro-life message but they didn't do it in a manner that would've overwhelmed the mainstream audience. I believe the male lead, Jose, had a Rosary in his hands in one very emotional scene. Bonus points for that! I understand why people were recommending it... and why Fr. Stan was raving about it a few months ago. I won't go into detail for those who haven't seen the film, so just take my word for it... it's a must see movie! It was the perfect way to end movie night. :D

Speaking of movie night, I got a head start on it by watching a little 1979 film called A Little Romance. I believe it was Diane Lane's film debut, too. Anyway, I also loved that film. I had my doubts, especially since I don't know anyone else who had seen it, but I immediately fell in love with it. What is up with the films I've been watching lately? They all make me want to own the DVDs instead of getting them from Netflix! lol. Anyway, the film was a little cheesy but I loved it anyway. Some parts of the story could only happen in a film but it was still great. The idea of two 13 year-olds running away to a foreign country to sort of cement their love before they are separated makes the hopeless romantic in me swoon and the romance realist say "Well, that's just silly of them to do that!" What can I say? I am pretty much always torn between the logical and the fanciful.

One thing that's been inspiring me lately is Aaron Shust's music. If you haven't heard of him, I seriously recommend visiting his website here or his myspace here... or if you have iTunes, go search him! I kept hearing his music in different places and I really liked it so, hey, why not check him out? Actually, his last album has been the current soundtrack to the novel writing process. His song, "Give Me Words to Speak", is the one that started me on his music... and it's been on loop on my iTunes pretty much since I bought it. lol. Here is the song, performed live, that I found on youtube.



I chose the live version so you can see that he's the real deal and isn't one of those manufactured musicians. Oh yeah, and as I wrote The Story (as I am calling it), I had it on repeat. Oh yeah. It definitely helps me get back into that state of mind. :D

Alright, well, I'm overflowing with ideas for my novel so I should write them before I forget. As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D
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Lost Medal Found (!), Religious Studies Semester Abroad, and Ways to Cure Boredom.

I finally found my once lost Miraculous Medal... on the living room couch. Now, I was positive I lost it at church when I went to confessions but I found it. I looked for it and couldn't find it. It's that funny? You always find things when you least expect it. I was on my way to do the dishes when I just kinda glanced in the direction and there it was. I cannot explain how HAPPY I was to see it. I was all bummed out because I thought I'd lost it but I didn't. :D I would do a cartwheel if I wasn't (still) lightheaded. :D

Since I was bored most of the day (except for a little while when I watched the first part of the Colin Firth version of Pride and Prejudice), I decided to really buckle down and narrow the list of schools to consider for my semester abroad (which will be in a few months). Since I am majoring in Religious Studies (and before you ask, I still don't know what I'm doing with that, I just know I want to major in it), it's hard to find schools that offer courses that will transfer and also be related to the major. Luckily, though, I've been able to find almost a dozen schools all over the world. My top choices are in Europe (of course) and one is in South America. I've never been down to Argentina (where one of the schools is located) so that's something that's appealing to me. I LOVE traveling so any chance I have to do it, especially if it's to some place I've never been to before, I take it! There is a lot to consider: language requirements, the courses offered at each university, etc. but I'm willing to make some sacrifices for certain schools. I will have to brush up on my French or Italian or learn Czech or Russian if I am to decide on one of those unis. I'm good with English and Spanish (I grew up speaking both) so no worries with schools being taught in those languages. I am leaning towards one particular school but who knows. I like to do pros and cons list (yeah, I really do) and really research things before I decide. If that fails, I'll just flip a coin. lol. Either way, I'm very excited about being able to live and learn outside the U.S. :D

So, like I've mentioned, I have been battling boredom (and anxiety, as well) throughout the day today. (Hey, it's still Monday in California). I've found very little ways to entertain myself. Oddly enough, washing dishes was therapeutic for a while. I'm weird, I know. I didn't get a chance to clean the entire house, though, because I would take breaks to talk to my sis and to watch certain shows that would come on (a show on Vatican City, anyone?). Sadly, I am running out of ideas on how to combat boredom so if anyone has any suggestions, please, send them my way! I should probably list the things that don't keep boredom at bay for long:

- playing guitar
- watching DVDs
- listening to the same songs over and over
- reading (seriously! I am in need of new titles to read)
- writing (temporary writer's block)
- painting, sketching
- texting random things like "Boobah" to my friends (haha, don't ask)
- etc.

*sighs* I really can't wait until everyone graduates / is off for the summer because I'm super bored and the creativity is stumped right now. le sigh. And if any of my friends in this city are reading this: I am open to being thrown over your shoulders, carried into your cars, and having mini-road trips around the city... or to the beach! Ooh, surfing's a good idea...

Alright, well, I need to eat something before I drift off to dreamland so... I should end the blog sometime in the near future. Like now. :D As always, thanks for reading and God Bless.
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Soccer (!!!), and Anxiety in Mass and in General, Lost Medal, and Prince Caspian.

I've had 3 really good games in the past 20-some odd hours. The U.S. Women vs Australia was AWESOME... and I dare say the best of the 3 games I watched. :D The U.S. Women's team never fails to impress me. It's one of the most consistent teams that I root for. It's a shame that there is virtually no coverage or advertisement for them. I understand that soccer, and basically all other sports, are viewed as male sports but they should really take notice at how awesome the women teams are. Some of the women national teams are WAY BETTER than the male ones. Women teams like the U.S., Germany, and Brazil are right there, if not better, than their male counterparts. It's just a shame that they get no coverage. I sound like a broken record, eh? Well, it's true. Anyway, I LOVED the game we played against Australia. The second half was not that great for us (we were 3-1 at half time) because of mistakes but we still manage to beat 'em. :D They're playing again in a few days but I doubt I'll get to see it because they rarely air the games.

Every time I see the women play, I get the urge to play as well. It makes me sad to think that I could've played throughout high school and eventually college if I hadn't switched to a charter school. I was quite athletic when I was younger. I played soccer, basketball, ran track and field, etc. You name it, I probably played it. I loved soccer probably the best. I always have. I've played as a goalkeeper, midfielder, and but mostly as a forward -- which was my position up until I stopped. So sad. I had problems with my right (I think) foot so I had to stop doing that and running track. So sad. :'( I might start playing again at my new school -- even though it's just for fun. Anyway, all power to the U.S. Women's for kicking tush and taking names! :D P.S. Brazil's Marta is a POWERHOUSE! I would've loved to have her play for the U.S. and be a striking partner for Abby Wambach. That would've been insane -- in a good way! But, alas, she was born in Brazil and not the U.S. Le sigh. lol.

The other two games I had a pleasure of enjoying: the L.A. Galaxy at Real Salt Lake (it was a tie) and Liverpool v Manchester City (last game at Anfield this season). Galaxy game was GOOD! Don't let the 2-2 score fool you, it was an awesome game. The only beef I have with the game was when that one dude from RSL pushed Alan Gordon into the barricades... and then Gordon pushed him back and got in his face. I honestly thought fists were going to be a-swingin' but, thankfully, they didn't and all they got were yellow cards. We need Gordon (the partnership between Becks and Landon is already awesome but Gordon brings more to it!) and a red card would've stunk. As for the Liverpool game this morning... eh. lol. It was a good game but I was maybe expecting more. Maybe it's because I was spoiled with awesome games yesterday. *shrugs* Either way, Torres' goal was great (per usual) and I got to see Nery Castillo play for Man City. I didn't get to watch the entire game because I had to leave for Mass.

Oy... Mass with my anxiety is a nightmare sometimes. Not to say that Mass is a nightmare! OH NO! Mass is one of the most wonderful things you can possibly do/attend on a regular basis. When you have anxiety, like I do, and it strikes when you least expect it - then it because a nightmare. The past couple of weeks, I've had no anxiety when attending Mass. Today, I made it through about 35-40 minutes before I really couldn't take it (I was lightheaded and I felt VERY faint). I left for a few minutes but hung around the side to see when they were giving communion so I could go and receive it. So, when the time came to get in line, I got in line and received the Eucharist. I've been told that when my anxiety gets as bad as it did today, so leave for a few minutes and try to received communion when the time comes. I wasn't too happy that I didn't make it through the entire Mass today but I'm grateful that I even went and that I, at least, stuck it for as long as I could. I actually lasted a good 20 minutes after my anxiety started getting bad... which is a record for me. (Oh, and the reason why I didn't attend Mass on May 1st -- which was a day of obligation -- was because of my anxiety).

These past couple of days have been just horrible, in terms of the anxiety felt, for me. I've had way too much unwarranted drama going on with a former friend, on top of all these other things I've been dealing with, so that just didn't help. I think that that is one of the main causes for why my anxiety has been so out of control lately. Prior to all the problems I had with this former friend, if I had anxiety it was the kind that I could control and it wasn't that bad. But since I've had problems with this former friend, the anxiety's been just horrific. I've been stuck (on and off) in bed for a few days (hence lack of updates) because the anxiety can be very debilitating. I think I scared my sister a few days ago when we were chatting online because I felt like I was going to just straight up pass out there and then. I'm not blaming this former friend for all my anxiety, I will take part of the blame... I probably shouldn't have been as blunt and straightforward as I was with him (I tend to forgive and forget... up to a point, that is), but the situation just didn't help matters. I also think that the reason why my anxiety's been worse than before was because I hadn't had drama of this kind in a long time and this just came out of the blue. I honestly believe that my body is reacting to this anxiety all weird because I haven't been used to it, nor did I know how to handle this particular situation. Thankfully, I am not freaking out as badly as I would've a few months ago, but still... it sucks. I totally don't like feeling this lightheaded/fatigued/horrible feeling. Ugh. I guess I should be thankful that I understand why these things are happening. I am incredibly blessed to have the love and support of my parents (especially my mama) and my friends to get through these made times. Trust me, I've beat myself up over what happened (because I always feel like everything is my fault, even when it isn't) and they are there so stop me and tell me that what I did wasn't wrong and that I dealt with it as diplomatically as I could under the circumstances. All I have to say about this whole situation is God Bless him. I have absolutely no ill feelings towards him. Life's too short and precious to dwell on the negative.

St. Dymphna, please help me control this anxiety which has taken a hold of me.

Oh, and one really sad thing that happened yesterday at confessions -- I LOST MY MIRACULOUS MEDAL!!! :( It was my source of comfort (I used to take it out and hold it in my hand when I had anxiety) but I no longer have it. :'( I will have to get a new one, get it blessed by a priest again and make sure I don't lose it again. Ironically, I lost it at the same parish I found it (I did actually find it). It's kind of funny that it happened. Perhaps I found it when I needed it the most and lost it when someone else needed it the most. I hope that it brings the comfort it brought me, to whomever found it. :D

And, to not end this blog on a downer, what's happening in about 3 and then 12 more days?! PRINCE CASPIAN PREMIERE! OH YEAH! lol. I'm a huge Narnia fan so I'm so excited to see the latest installment of the series. I'm actually, God willing and if my anxiety is ok, attending a premiere party for the film with a good friend of mine. *singing* I'm excited! I'm excited! I can't wait to see how much the kids have grown as actors. :D I have the urge to squeal like a schoolgirl but I won't. lol.

Alright, well, I have things to do before my anxiety strikes back (it's in control at the moment) so I shall go do that. Thanks for reading, and God Bless. :D
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Writers Conference, Hooray for Sisters!, and Masses for Saints.

I am SO excited about the Catholic Writers Conference that starts tomorrow. It's a week long conference and I am attending at least one event each day. I hope it'll help me with my novels -- the one I'm working on now and future ones. I have to get up a bit early for the first event but it'll be worth it. :D *singing* I'm excited! I'm excited! lol. Hopefully I'll be able to make all the events but who knows. I might get busy with other things. My schedule's been SO packed lately... eesh. lol. It's a good thing though. :D Anyway, I probably won't write anything about the conference -- like my thoughts on it -- until it's over 'cause, well, it's just logical. lol. :D Fingers crossed, the whole thing will go smoothly. :D

Have I mentioned how AWESOME my sis is? Best. Sister. EVER!!! She's seriously like Super Sis! She can make me smile when I feel my absolute worst. She can be silly with me, which is what I need! lol. And she's helped me realize my dream of having a certain ring (which I will hopefully write about in a future blog) on my finger! She understands me when no one else does and she's just there for me. Hooray for sisters! :D And HEEEEEEEEEEEY SIS (in case she reads this :D). *big hug!*

Yesterday I went to church and asked to have two Masses dedicated -- one for Our Lady of Guadalupe, the other for St. Jude Thaddeus -- as my way of saying THANK YOU to them for their intercessions. I didn't expect them to be SO expensive though. I usually pay $5 per dedication at another church but since I'm now attending a new one, closer to my house, I went there. $10 each dedication. YOWZA! Next time, I'm going back to my old parish -- don't care the distance -- and getting it done there. It's not that I'm cheap... it's that $10 per Mass is EXPENSIVE. If someone pays more, please let me know. I honestly hadn't heard of it being more than $5 anywhere else. Right now, I'm very careful about money because I have to pay my tuition soon (got $24,000 to spare? lol), I'm traveling soon, and I have expenses to pay. Simple as that. I don't really won't wish I could take it back and go elsewhere for the Masses. What's done is done and they both deserve to have Thanks giving Masses. :D

Alright, well, I am watching the second to last episode of Rock the Cradle. Have I mentioned how much I LOVE Crosby Loggins! MAN BETTER WIN THE COMPETITION! :D lol. I have an early day tomorrow so I should go. :D As always, thanks for reading and God Bless.
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