The Annual 54-day Rosary Novena Begins on Friday!

You didn't think we were going to forego this blog's annual tradition of doing the 54-day Rosary novena just because I've been dealing with dental and medical problems lately, did you? Nope! In fact, we (my mother and I) now have more of a reason to do it this year.

I was planning on announcing it earlier in an EpicPew article but since it's not gone up yet, I decided to blog the invitation while I wait for my editor to publish that article. (Edit: you can now read how to pray the novena on my Epic Pew article here.)

As usual, anyone who wishes to join us for the 54-day Rosary day novena may do so.  You don't have to pray for mine or anyone else's intentions -- you can focus on your own. However, if you'd like to give a sister a hand, I'd be incredibly grateful because y'all know how bad my health has been since June.

For those of you who want to join but have never done the novena before, here is the story behind the tradition which I posted last year:

"A couple of years ago, I started inviting Twitter friends to join in on praying the 54-day Rosary novena when I prayed it. There's strength in numbers, right? I didn't ask them to pray for my own specific intention; I left it up to each person to pray for whatever massive intention they had with the option of adding the intentions of everyone else praying the novena. It went well so I did it again the following year and I invited blog readers to join in. To my surprise, many did join in and the number of people praying the novena grew that year... and the year after that... and the year after that, etc.

Last year we had the biggest group of prayer warriors since this tradition began. To this day, I still get messages about the amazing graces and answered intentions following last year's novena.

As per tradition -- and as recommended -- we'll begin the novena on All Saints' Day and end on Christmas Eve. If you do the math (and I have), it's exactly 54 days between All Saints' Day and Christmas Eve so, you know, perfect timing! This novena is recommended for intentions of all sizes and severities. I will also be offering to send you a daily reminder you need one -- either through Twitter, the blog's FB page, a text message (if we already have contact outside of social media), or an email.

Every year people ask if it matters if you do the traditional Rosary (without the Luminous Mysteries) or with the Luminous Mysteries added and the answer is: No! I personally do the traditional order without the Luminous Mysteries because that's how it was first prayed from the beginning of the devotion but the choice is all yours. The website I use has both versions so it's totally up to you and your own preference.

Of course, I'm also going to throw the annual word of caution: this novena is not for the faint of heart. Many people (myself included) have experienced what I call a "Murphy's Law streak." If something can go wrong, it's likely that it will go wrong. That's not to say that everyone will experience it. I've known people who've had no problems during it. Mom and I had just one minor hiccup during one of them. I've also known people who've only seen the good that has come from the novena. Still, I know there are people who've abandoned the novena because they've gotten overwhelmed with the obstacles they've encountered while doing this novena. The graces have always outweighed the bad (in hindsight) and if you have a huge intention that you really feel stuck on, I cannot recommend doing this novena enough.

Please don't let what I've just warned scare you off. I'm only informing you that this novena can really test someone so that you're prepared if you want in. But, you should also keep in mind that that's what the devil wants. He doesn't want you to pray for our Blessed Mother's intercession, especially for a big intention. He'll put obstacles in your way... but God is greater and Mama Mary will always crush his head. Keep frequenting the Sacraments, constantly invoke our Lady's protection, ask your Guardian Angel for some angelic backup, and you should be fine.

Having said that (and having potentially scared some of you off; lol, sorry!!), I'd still love for as many of you as possible to join this year's novena. Please let me know by All Hallow's Eve (next Wednesday) so I can add you to the list of those participating, especially if you want to daily reminders. There are already a couple people signed up (even before I started writing this post) and I'm excited to see how many more will join this year!"

If you want detailed instructions on how to do the novena, I'll like my Epic Pew article (which has the instructions broken down for y'all) as soon as it goes up.

That's it from me for now. I have work deadlines and limited time to do them with my eyesight. By the way, that's one of my main intentions this year (if anyone wants to help Mom and I pray for it); for my overall health (which has been the worse it's been in years) and my eyesight -- that we get answers and that it gets better (and that I don't lose my eyesight).

I hope you all have a lovely rest of the week!

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! 😊

Step-By-Step Guide to Praying the 54-day Rosary Novena

One of my many rosaries. 

Hello, lovely readers! Happy All Saints' Day and happy first day of the annual 54-day Rosary novena.

I decided to post a step-by-step guide on how to pray the 54-day Rosary novena after I had a couple of people -- my mother included (she forgot how to do it) -- ask how to pray it. The instructions on the website can be a bit confusing -- been there, felt that -- so I'm here to help you out.

Before I start I want to tell you the most commonly asked question is about what days you pray which mysteries. It doesn't matter if the Rosary novena mysteries for whatever day you're on doesn't match up with the order of the regular Rosary.

Here's an example: this upcoming Tuesday (Day 6 of petition) you'll either pray the Glorious Mysteries (if you're doing the traditional order) or the Luminous Mysteries (if you're doing the updated version). Those are the mysteries you do for the novena, not the Sorrowful Mysteries which are normally done on Tuesdays. You'll be praying whatever mysteries are assigned for whatever day you're on during the novena.

Step 1: Do the Sign of the Cross and say: "In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, Amen."

Step 2: Pray one Hail Mary.

Step 3: Pray the prayer that follows the Hail Mary assigned for that specific day on the website: "Hail Queen of the Most Holy Rosary, my Mother Mary, Hail! At thy feet..."  (side note: this prayer's words will be different every day; it'll depend on which day you're on and which mysteries you're meditating on.)

Step 4: Pray the Apostle's Creed

Step 5: Pray one Our Father, three Hail Mary's, one Glory Be, and one Fatima Prayer ("Oh my Jesus, forgive us our sins...") in that order.

Step 6: Go to the first mystery of the day, pray the prayer under the mystery, and pray the Rosary as you normally would (one Our Father, ten Hail Marys, one Glory Be, and the Fatima Prayer).

Step 7: Pray whatever prayer is under the Fatima Prayer, which begins: "I bind these..."

Step 8: Go onto the next mystery and repeat Steps 6 and 7 until you reach the end of that mystery.

You repeat steps 6-8 until you reach the end of the 5th mystery of the day.

Step 9: Pray the Spiritual Communion prayer.

Step 10: Pray the Prayer in Petition and the prayer that follows under it. (Side note: if you pray the Rosary during the day, you will say "... thy blessings give to us this day" and if you pray it at night you'll say, "... thy blessings give to us this night.")

Step 11: Pray the Hail, Holy Queen.

Step 12: Pray the Memorare

Step 13: Pray the Prayer to St. Michael the Archangel.

Step 14: Do the Sign of the Cross.

Step 15: Kiss the Crucifix.

Step 16: Do a happy dance because you've done the prayers for the day (optional, lol).

Important: During the second half of the 54-day Rosary novena -- the 27 days of Thanksgiving -- it's basically the same order, except the prayers in Steps 3 and 10 (which will become Prayer in Thanksgiving) will have the biggest changes because we're no longer asking for something but thanking Mama Mary for her intercession, even if we've yet to see the petitions answered.

I cannot tell you which days you'll be doing what because some people opt to do the traditional order (Joyful, Sorrowful, and Glorious) while others will do the updated version (Joyful, Sorrowful, Glorious, and Luminous). That choice is up to you and you'll have to keep pray of it for yourself; I can just tell you "we're on day 1/4/8/23/etc on petition (or thanksgiving)." I highly recommend marking a calendar or keeping track of what day/mystery you're on somewhere you can easily access.

I hope I haven't confusing y'all even more! If you need the link to the prayers, you can always go back to this link and click on whatever set of mysteries you're doing for the day. Bookmark this blog post and visit it as often as you have to until you get the hang of it.

If you have further questions, please don't hesitate to ask; that's what I'm here for!

Alright, y'all, I'm going to go say my prayers (and I'm including all of y'all!).

As always, thank you for reading and God bless! :D

Join Us for the Annual 54-Day Rosary Novena!

Hello, you lovely blog readers!

It's that time of the year again. No, I won't (and have never!) hit you up for cash. Instead, I want to invite you to join what has become an annual tradition for both Casa Guerrero (my mother and I) and blog readers/friends.

For those of you who may be new to this blog, I'll give you a quick history. A couple of years ago, I started inviting Twitter friends to join in on praying the 54-day Rosary novena when I prayed it. There's strength in numbers, right? I didn't ask them to pray for my own specific intention; I left it up to each person to pray for whatever massive intention they had with the option of adding the intentions of everyone else praying the novena. It went well so I did it again the following year and I invited blog readers to join in. To my surprise, many did join in and the number of people praying the novena grew that year... and the year after that... and the year after that, etc.

Last year we had the biggest group of prayer warriors since this tradition began. To this day, I still get messages about the amazing graces and answered intentions following last year's novena. If you want just an example of what I'm talking about, here's a sample of an intention answer last year's novena. I had so many other intentions answered (hello, steady work all year so far!) but that's just an example of a huge intention that needed the 54-day Rosary novena.

As per tradition -- and as recommended -- we'll begin the novena on All Saints' Day and end on Christmas Eve. If you do the math (and I have), it's exactly 54 days between All Saints' Day and Christmas Eve so, you know, perfect timing! This novena is recommended for intentions of all sizes and severities. I will also be offering to send you a daily reminder you need one -- either through Twitter, the blog's FB page, a text message (if we already have contact outside of social media), or an email.

Every year people ask if it matters if you do the traditional Rosary (without the Luminous Mysteries) or with the Luminous Mysteries added and the answer is: No! I personally do the traditional order without the Luminous Mysteries because that's how it was first prayed from the beginning of the devotion but the choice is all yours. The website I use has both versions so it's totally up to you and your own preference.

Of course, I'm also going to throw the annual word of caution: this novena is not for the faint of heart. Many people (myself included) have experienced what I call a "Murphy's Law streak." If something can go wrong, it's likely that it will go wrong. That's not to say that everyone will experience it. I've known people who've had no problems during it. Mom and I had just one minor hiccup during one of them. I've also known people who've only seen the good that has come from the novena. Still, I know there are people who've abandoned the novena because they've gotten overwhelmed with the obstacles they've encountered while doing this novena. The graces have always outweighed the bad (in hindsight) and if you have a huge intention that you really feel stuck on, I cannot recommend doing this novena enough.

Please don't let what I've just warned scare you off. I'm only informing you that this novena can really test someone so that you're prepared if you want in. But, you should also keep in mind that that's what the devil wants. He doesn't want you to pray for our Blessed Mother's intercession, especially for a big intention. He'll put obstacles in your way... but God is greater and Mama Mary will always crush his head. Keep frequenting the Sacraments, constantly invoke our Lady's protection, ask your Guardian Angel for some angelic backup, and you should be fine.

Having said that (and having potentially scared some of you off; lol, sorry!!), I'd still love for as many of you as possible to join this year's novena. Please let me know by All Hallow's Eve (next Wednesday) so I can add you to the list of those participating, especially if you want to daily reminders. There are already 4 people signed up (even before I started writing this post) and I'm excited to see how many more will join this year!

That's it from me for now. I hope you all have a lovely rest of the week!

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! 😊

So Much News! So Many Prayers Answered!

Hey! Long time no see, huh? Honestly, I've been wanting to share a lot of this stuff for at least a week but I needed confirmations and "done deals" before I could say anything.

Do you know how hard it is to keep the good news to yourself? SO difficult, my friends. I did let some people know ahead of time and those closest to me knew what was going on as things happened but I wanted to wait before I publicly talked about this. Intrigued yet? lol.

First, let me say, happy (belated) feast of my beloved Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati. *insert fangirl squeals, confetti, noisemakers, and cake* The reason why I bring him up is that all of this happened either during the annual feast day novena (June 25 - July 3). I do it every year but this year... well, you'll see... ;)

The first big news is that I am officially a contributing writer for Verily Magazine. Do some of you remember how I asked for prayers (via Twitter) about a dream writing opportunity that came up a few weeks ago? It was for Verily. They're restructuring the magazine, adding new content, new writers, etc. and they were looking for new writers. I submitted three possible topics and they accepted two of them!

I don't know if I'll write for them beyond the two articles but it's a good start! This is my dream writing gig because I've been a regular Verily reader since the beginning so I hope it's the start of more work for them.

As much as I love writing for Catholic publications, it's hard to find writing work in this particular field/topic. There are so many great apologists and writers who are more established and, well, better writers than I am, so getting paid for writing gigs in the Catholic world is hard. If it wasn't for my friend (and fellow epicPew writer) Theresa, I wouldn't even have my EP writing gig.

I've been praying for more writing work because, as y'all know, Mom and I have been in a financially difficult situation for months. This was one of the two novena intentions I had for this year's Bl. Pier Giorgio novena; more work (because I actually like to work) that I can do with other pending responsibilities and things that keep me at home.

There is something else that also happened but it's something that's going to stay within the family. All I have to say is this is a major on-going thing that we've been praying about and it looks like we've finally gotten answers! Thanks be to God!

So, all of this happened either during or immediately after Bl. PGF's novena so... guess who gets the credit for his intercession. Someone canonize him STAT! lol. Seriously, though, I know he -- and Mama Mary and so many other saints -- interceded for me. I'm just giving him credit because of the timing and the novena intentions.

Thank you ALL for your prayers. It wasn't just Bl. PGF and my heavenly pals. It was a collective prayer effort and I'm eternally grateful to all of you who've never ceased praying for me. May this be the light at the end of the tunnel for some major issues and a heavy Cross I've been carrying for quite some time. Cue the tears! lol. All of this has been really difficult for me... so much more than I've been able to express. I know that everyone praying for me has helped lighten the load.

I also know that all of this has been for my own good. I've learned to take better care of myself. I've learned to trust God. It's helped cure me of some of my worst scrupulous ideas. I'm sure some of it has been penance for some dumb things I've done (which I fully get and accept).

That's it for now. I've shared what I can. There may be more news I haven't even hinted about coming up but we shall see what happens. Y'all know by now that I know until I'm absolutely sure before I share anything. lol. ;)

Anyway, I hope you're all having a lovely week thus far and that you have a cool weekend... and I say "cool" in the "not melting" sense because it's going to be a scorcher across the States and many other countries.

As always, thank you for reading and God bless. :D

When the Obstacles Seem Insurmountable...

Lately, my life has been one long journey through a dark, stormy abyss. Think of Atreyu's journey in The Neverending Story. Instead of letting the Swamp of Sadness swallow me whole (R.I.P. Artax the horse), I've been doing what I can to keep myself afloat but it hasn't been easy.

As your regular blog readers know, it's been a hard time for my family. Between financial difficulties and a number of other problems (across the board; not just limited to Mom and me), it's been a long string of stresses.

I'm the one who keeps the household budget (I'm good with numbers and puzzles/conundrums) so I know the most about how bad our situation is. I try to cut out unnecessary expenses and try to figure out where we can save and where we simply cannot skimp. With random things popping up (e.g. unexpected car repairs), I'm constantly trying to figure out where we can come up with the money and what needs to wait until next month. It's a gigantic headache (sometimes literal) that I deal with at least twice a week.

Having no car has meant no confession or Mass. The nearest parish doesn't have Saturday confession and -- when it does offer confession -- it's too late in the day to safely walk to and from it so that makes going to confession hard as well. I hope to get my car back later today... and that the financial strain isn't too bad. We had to put off getting it repaired for a month (I've basically been stuck at home since mid-April) because we simply had no spare money that wasn't put aside for necessities. I got it towed to our mechanic's garage on Tuesday and I'm expecting a call at some point today to let me know the extent of the damage to our meager monthly savings. Please say a prayer it doesn't go over the halfway point of the triple digits because we won't be able to afford that.

Sometimes I wonder how on earth I'm going to make it through x, y, z (because things happen in multiples, not one at a time) with my sanity intact. Worries on top of worries on top of worries. It's like an endless cycle with no light at the end of the tunnel.

Sometimes all of these things also affect my spiritual life. If I'm not careful, the devil knows exactly how and when to attack. Not having been able to go to Mass and confession has only added to the hardships. I don't know why but I have a feeling that going to confession and receiving the Eucharist will somehow help. I'm not being superstitious; it's just a gut feeling that I have.

Thankfully, the consecration preparation, holy water, and my prayer life have helped... big time.

Every morning I do the Consecration to Mary prayer ("My queen, my mother, I give myself entirely to thee..."), which was recommended by one of our local FSSP priests when he came over to pray for me the day after my car accident a couple of years ago. Then I read the daily Mass readings, use the reflections sent to my inbox by Bishop Robert Barron and Blessed Is She. Then I pray the Little Office of the Blessed Virgin Mary. During my consecration preparation, I've added the daily reflections in the 33 Days to Morning Glory book to this routine.

I also pray a variety of novenas, prayers, and/or the Rosary and the Rosary confraternity prayer throughout the day but, more often than not, I do them at night with my nighttime routine. Again, I use the Little Office of the Blessed Virgin Mary and examine my conscience before I call it a night. If there is something I missed doing in the morning (e.g. consecration preparation or daily Mass readings), I will also do it at this time.

I make use of the holy water we were given by one of our local FSSP priests (when he's been over to the house to bless it for Epiphany) throughout the day. In the morning, before I leave the house (especially if I have to drive), at night... if I feel like I need it, I will use it.

I think I'm so used to my routine -- used to trying to cling to my faith during these times of chaos -- that if I miss something at some point, I feel more vulnerable in a way. Not to the point of superstition, scrupulosity, or anything like that. I just tend to notice any deviation from my routine... and it's this routine that helps remind me that I shouldn't be egocentric.

It's so easy to get caught up in your worries. I've personally found myself being pulled more into my own thoughts, my own feelings, my own hardships. I don't like that I think more about myself and what is going on with me than about others and/or about God... but it's hard. And, okay, I know some of my good friends are currently ready to file a formal protest for having said that -- I've even had priests tell me I'm too hard on myself -- but I truly feel selfish during these times and I don't like it. I think that's why I hold onto my prayer routine very closely; it's a good reminder that whatever I'm going through is not up to me to "fix."

Sometimes these obstacles seem insurmountable. That's when I have to remember that God is ultimately in charge of everything, not me. Never have the words "Jesus, I Trust In You" been uttered as much as they have in this household before. Never has putting my money where my mouth is been as important as it has been in recent weeks/month. Never have I have challenged in every way as I have lately.

1 Peter 5:7-10 has resonated so much as it has during these trials... especially when I was asked to wait to become a Benedictine oblate; to "revisit this in a couple of months to make sure this is what (I) really want." The evil one knows that this is what I most wanted lately and I won't let the small obstacle get and keep me down.

Yes, life is hard. Yes, it feels like the walls are caving in around me. Yes, it oftentimes feels like things will never get better; that this is just what my life is going to be like from now on -- one bad thing after another. Yet, Scripture (and the saints) says otherwise. The only thing I can do is trust that God will get me through it and that He will give me the courage, the strength, and whatever graces are necessary to get through this time.

I don't see an end to all I've been enduring lately but I think about the heavenly reward that awaits if only I would get my act straight and that's enough to keep me going; to keep me fighting against temptations. It's hard. Some days I just feel like laying in bed and sleeping all day. I can't let that happen. I won't let that happen. Most importantly, I know that God has my back and that's worth everything.

Anyway, these are just my thoughts lately.

I hope you all had a lovely week and that you have a great weekend as well!

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

Feast of the Betrothal and My Vocation

Happy feast of St. Francis de Sales, patron saint of writers (and my career patron!), everyone! I had originally planned to have this post up yesterday since it was the feast of the betrothal (espousals) of the Blessed Virgin Mary and St. Joseph but I've had a rough couple of days so I'm posting it a day late. Better late than never, right?

You didn't know this feast existed? Well, it does! Because I tend to lean "trad," I've heard of (and seen) betrothal ceremonies amongst other young Millennial Catholics. It's a beautiful ceremony and it's on my list of things I want to do if I ever get engaged to be married. 

I've actually been thinking a lot about my vocation discernment lately. I know, I know... I'm usually quiet about this part of my life but I'll let you guys in on what's going on with me. Long story short: I'm not quite sure where I'm going in this area of my life. I've gotten to a point where I'm in need of spiritual direction (and will be receiving some in the days to come; I've already made plans with a priest I highly respect) because I feel a little lost. 

Yes, I self-imposed a dating break last summer and it was honestly the best decision because I had too much going on. Between school stress and what I had to figure out (small-v) vocation-wise, I just didn't think it was a good idea to add a fella to the mix. There was someone during that time but I took it to prayer and it became clear that it wasn't the time... nor the fella... for me and I felt at peace with that. 

I keep telling my friends that I'm pretty much resigning myself to staying single. I do want to move forward and I'm open to whatever God's will is for me... but that little voice of doubt comes up now and then and asks the same question over and over again. I'm almost 33, aren't I too old to find a good guy?

When I remembered that the feast of the betrothal was coming up, I did a novena to St. Anne. I purposely started it 9 days before the feast day. No, it wasn't, "St. Anne, St. Anne, bring me a man!" It was more "St. Anne, please help me figure out what my vocation is." If you're wondering if that means that I'm open to the possibility that I may not be called to marriage, after all, the answer is, "Yes!"

While I was doing the novena, I kept reminding myself that any vocation that God has in store for me is the perfect fit for me because it will be part of His will for me. I may very much desire to get married and have children (my heart does long for that family) but I am open to that possibly not being what will end of being my vocation. I stated as much those 9 days I prayed the novena. "May God send me the man that He has in store for me... if that is my vocation. If it isn't, may I figure out what my true vocation is."

I already know I'm not meant for a religious vocation. I discerned (and re-discerned) that in my early 20s and again in my late 20s. What I am open to are the other two options: marriage and consecrated virginity. Gasp! I know. lol. I have a great godson so I will get a taste of motherhood, albeit spiritual, if I'm not called to get married and have children of my own. Again, I greatly desire it but if it's not in His plans for me, I've resigned myself to that possibility. I'm taking my abandonment to His Divine Providence seriously, y'all.

I've been joking that Catholic Match has been stalking me on Twitter the past two days (because they have! Good grief, y'all!) but I'm not taking that as a "sign." I'm not rushing this. I've never rushed this. I've always taken any potential fellas (and there have been a couple over the years... even though I never say anything) to prayer. I've entrusted my heart to the Immaculate Heart of Mary when it comes to my vocation because I've seen people make mistakes. I've seen people get married because they felt alone and hated it... and then they regretted it. I don't want that for me. Sure, I'm getting older (I'll be 33 in May) and people like to remind me that "the window for children is closing" but don't see that as a reason to rush. 

That's where I am right now. I'm not afraid of what He may call me to do. I know some single women in their late 20s through late 30s live in fear of never marrying but I don't. I don't know if it's because I've always been an independent lady or because I've resigned myself to God's will. I know that, while there may be a disappointment if I'm not called to the vocation of marriage and family, I will find greater consolation in doing His will. I'd rather give up something I truly wanted if it's for my greater good than to go against His will. 

Sorry if this post sounds like a downer but this is the reality, folks. I may not get what I want but God will make sure that I get what I need and that's all I can truly hope for. :)

Anyway, that's it for now. I've had a headache for nearly 24 hours now and I want to rest as much as I can. :)

As always, thanks for reading and God bless!

Incredible Novena Results and an Overall Update

As some of you have noticed, despite not being in school anymore and having more free time, I haven't been posting as often as I wish. Long story short: I don't want to post things that are filler or fluff for the sake of keeping up a high post count. I want to write posts that (I hope) are higher in quality than quantity. That and I've had a lot of really amazing things going on.

These past two weeks have been draining but also very promising. The plans, for now, are to eat well, exercise more, and to reduce stress by eliminating or learning to cope with my biggest stressors. School is done so that is one massive stressful thing out of my life. Work, which is currently consisting of writing for Epic Pew, isn't causing any stress. However, I did have to tackle a big, life-long issue that was my biggest source of stress for several years.

Without going into too much detail, I was on a steady "diet" constant pressure and emotional manipulation for years. I got the courage to speak to the person who was causing it two weeks ago. They said that they didn't realize what they were doing (and I'm choosing to believe that based on what a number of psychologists and therapists have said about this person) and promised to make an effort to do their best to stop. It was an emotionally-charged two-hour conversation in which I got out all my grievances and all the hurt this person has caused throughout most of my life. While this person still occasionally slips (old habits die hard), they are making a conscious effort to make sure they're no longer contributing to what has hurt me for so long. I have already seen an improvement in both my relationship with this person.

This big breakthrough came after doing both the 54-day Rosary novena (late last year) and the Immaculate Heart of Mary novena at the beginning of this year. I had this particular intention for both novenas because God showed me that this was one of the biggest things I needed to work on in order to get healthier on all levels. I mean, I didn't just do it for my benefit. Nonetheless, it's an incredible result from the novenas, one that I will forever be grateful to God for! Now that this is no longer a big issue, the next one to tackle is getting me physically and spiritually healthier in order to make the other personal goals more attainable.

I've been doing this "screens off" experiment for over a week now and it's the best decision I have made this year (so far). I turn off most screens (except Kindle) at 8 p.m. and they don't get turned on again until I'm ready to start the day. I set my alarm for 7:30 p.m. to give myself a half-hour warning to finish up whatever needs to be done before my laptop, iPod touch, and smartphone are shut off for the day. I put on orange-tinted goggles that cut the blue light that suppresses melatonin production until I'm ready to go to sleep. I turn on my Kindle and I read fiction books (fiction is the only genre which doesn't keep me up) until I'm ready to fall asleep... if I don't fall asleep before I can shut the Kindle off. I've successfully managed to get to bed early. I've been waking up more refreshed and my energy lasts a bit longer.

As for what's going on in my spiritual life, a lot and not so much. I was lucky to get to pray in front of the tabernacle earlier this week... and it seemed to trigger something because it seems that I have been spiritually attacked every day since. I'm doing two new novenas at the moment -- one to St. Anne and another to St. Francis de Sales -- which seem to also be triggering some spiritual attacks... which means I'm on the right track when it comes to at least one of the novena intentions. I've kept up with the daily Mass readings, the Rosary, the Little Office, and the novenas.

That's pretty much what's going on with me -- a lot and yet not a whole lot. I'm taking things one day at a time to keep my stress levels down. My mom got me this really lovely jigsaw puzzle of a cottage next to a river in a forest which is my ideal place for a retreat or a vacation to help me escape from mental stress. I've cut back on my social media use, which is being helped by my "screens off" experiment. I've been spending more time in silence and learning to take better care of myself.

Basically, I'm allowing myself to take a break from everything so that I can recuperate. It's often hard because being inactive and not being on the constant "go go go" is a foreign concept to me but that's what got me here in the first place so I need to do this. I won't allow anyone to shame me into "being lazy" (as some people call it) because this seems to be what is best for me... and something that seems to be in God's plans for me. I've abandoned myself to doing His will, remember? I won't fight this.

I'm going to end this blog here and try to stay relaxed,

I hope y'all have a lovely weekend!

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

Want to Join in on This Year's 54 Day Rosary Novena?

My apologies for the long gap between blog posts but I had a crazy week last week with two exams, a quiz, and a big assignment. I have an easier week this week (it's lecture/reading week; next week is exam week once again) so... new blog posts this week! I have 3 posts in the drafts box and two other ideas that I will also get to this week. I won't post them all this week but I will schedule some for next week so there's stuff going up even when I'm trying not to drown in speech-pathology and audiology terms, facts, and procedures.

This post is going to be a quick one since I'm having a decent non-mental fog day (which are becoming increasingly rare; thanks, chronic fatigue...) and I want to get some studying done while I can.

As some of you may remember, last year we had a surprisingly large (well, large for this blog) number of people who joined in on the 54-day Rosary novena. I had a list of people I emailed, tweeted, and tagged (in FB) every day with reminders about which day we were on for those 54 days. I don't know about everyone else, but I had some amazing results almost immediately after the novena... and both Mom and I are still seeing results nearly a year later. The novena has been truly changing for us and I know it's been the same for others.

Of course, I'm going to throw a word of caution: this novena is not for everyone. Some people (including myself; I've done this novena several times over the years) have experienced a continuous Murphy's Law streak during the entirety of the novena. If someone can go wrong, it will go wrong. Not everyone experiences it (Mom didn't and I only had one thing go wrong throughout the novena last year). I've known people who've done the novena with us over the years and they've only seen the good that the novena brings. Still, I have also heard of people who've abandoned the novena because they've gotten overwhelmed with the bad they've encountered. However, in my experience, the good always outweighs the bad (in hindsight) and if you have a huge intention that you really feel stuck on, I would highly recommend doing this novena. Please don't let what I've just said scare you off; I'm only informing you that this novena can really test someone so that you're prepared if you want in. Keep frequenting the Sacraments and you should be fine. ;)

Having said that (and potentially scared some of you who've never done this novena before, lol; sorry!), I'm wondering if anyone of you would like to join us this year. Again, we're starting on November 1st (All Saints' Day) and we're ending on Christmas Eve, which is the recommended time of year to do this novena. Yes, it's exactly 54 days (Sundays included) between All Saints' Day and Christmas Eve. Amazing, right? ;) I obviously can't tweet reminders this year but I would happily tag anyone who wants to join in on this blog's Facebook page or even email you if you think you'll need daily reminders. I certainly don't mind.

I already posted this invitation a couple of weeks ago on the FB page -- and we've got a couple of people who will be joining in -- but now I'm blogging it for those of you who are not on FB (neither following this blog's page nor on that site at all). If you would like me to email you reminders, please let me know where to email you reminders. I'm really sorry, Twitter folks, but I've already explained why I needed to close down my @nerdwriter account in the last blog post.

Anyway, please let me know by All Hallow's Eve (next Tuesday) so we can all start together next Wednesday. :)

I hope y'all are having a lovely start of your week and that you had a great weekend! :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

St. Therese Has Been Schooling Me

(This is the second post of the three-part series I started last weekend.)

I wanted to do something special for St. Therese of Lisieux's feast day last week but, sadly, things did not go as planned. I didn't go to Trader Joes to get some roses (the blog post picture is from a couple of years ago). I did not make any delicious French food. I was not able to watch Therese. The only thing that I was able to do was the novena and that was because Pray More Novena sent me the daily prayers/reminders every day. Little did I know that that novena would bring on a couple of changes... including one big one that was a long time coming.

St. Therese, like Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati and St. Francis de Sales, has been randomly popping up in my life lately. She and Bl. PGF were my patrons during my time at my CINO college alma mater so it seemed appropriate that she should once again pop up during my (hopefully) last academic year of this degree/program. When I started the novena, I had no particular intentions. On the first day, I winged it. I asked for her intercession on a couple of things including vocation patience (something we single gals in our 30s occasionally struggle with), motivation in school, and for help from my mom's physical pain.

The three big ones were:

• that I become less selfish and more selfless, 
• that I learn how to be more detached from earthly things, 
• and that I do and see the joy in the little things as she did. 

I'll get to these intentions a little later in the blog post since you're probably wondering how St. Therese schooled me this past week. No, it was not a clickbait title; she really did show me a lot of things that I need to work on.

In the past, I've received the compliment that I've reminded people of St. Therese. To be honest, I usually don't believe these kind words but I thank those who say them to me nonetheless. It wasn't until this past week that I wondered if they saw something I did see... and not necessarily in a good way.

Most of us think of St. Therese as being selfless, gentle, meek, child-like, innocent, and deeply pious. That's how I thought about her for the longest time. A lot of people (a surprising amount of people from what I've seen on Twitter) have an intense dislike of St. Therese because of her "flowery words" and "saccharine personality" rubs people the wrong way. I guess I kind of see that but I tend to sort of lean towards that myself (trust me, these blog posts could be a lot worse, lol) so I think of her as a kindred spirit.

I'm willing to bet that many people either don't know or (most likely) forget that St. Therese went through periods of depression and was extremely sensitive. She suffered from obsessive-compulsive disorder and was scrupulous as a result. When she was a child, she threw epic temper tantrums, she had a lot of "excessive self-love" (as she describes it in Story of a Soul), and as a spoiled, selfish child. A question to those who've known me for years and have seen me at my worst: does that remind you of anyone? Yeah...

Like St. Therese, I've always been sensitive. We now have the term "highly sensitive person (HSP)" which my own childhood doctor. My system is just more sensitive to things, emotional and physical stimuli such as foods and medications. (I've even written a blog post on this topic). I express intense joy, anger, and heartache in tears. I've battled with depression and anxiety (on and off) for years, though it has lessened in recent years. I've definitely struggled with falling into scrupulosity if I'm not careful and don't constantly remind myself that God's love and mercy are greater than my sins; it's something I've been trying to work through for years. According to my mother, I also threw my fair share of tantrums (though she says it's because I was brought up as an only child).

I wasn't materially spoiled... but I was spoiled in other ways. My parents asked me not to work while I was in school so I could focus solely on that (and this was prior to my health issues). I've never had to pay for rent or anything like that though I do financially contribute as much as I can when I have an income. My mother, as much as she means well, will shoo me away from the kitchen (she will literally, yet gently, push me out of the way and take utensils out of my hand at times) and cook my food when she's home (and not in physical pain).

The sad thing is that I didn't realize these things until recently... around the time that St. Therese started reappearing in my life. Like I said in last Saturday's blog post, struggling with schoolwork is something that (still) challenges my academic pride and vanity. My breakdown two weeks-ish ago had nothing to do with that but it certainly didn't help to be reminded of how things once came much easier to me. I've recently been trying to work on things that have made my ego much larger than was healthy... and which will part of tomorrow's blog post. Let's just say that the St. Therese novena and having her presence in my life have been helping.

Like I said earlier in this post, I just asked for whatever came to mind when I started the novena. I'm sure the Holy Spirit was behind that because I've come to realize, a week and some days later, that it was exactly what I needed. I've actually been praying to become more detached from worldly things since I did the 54-day Rosary novena last year but I thought St. Therese would be another good intercessor for this particular intention. Obviously, she did not disappoint. lol.

It's still too early to see any noticeable results when it comes to my petitions but I have been trying to get better at these in little ways that I can do. I made a massive step towards getting better at the second big intention one... but you'll have to wait until the next blog post for more on that because this post is already too long. ;)

Before I wrap up this post I just want to say that I'm grateful that God continues to use saintly examples, like St. Therese, to help us become better versions than ourselves. While I don't anticipate ever being compared to St. Therese again (especially not when it comes in the form of a compliment because I'm nowhere near as awesome as she was), I'm also grateful to those who've helped me see that I have a kindred spirit in her... and that she can serve as a wonderful reminder of how much a person can change for the better once we place all of our love and trust in God.

I hope to have the third (and last) part up on Friday. I've actually written this the afternoon (into the evening) of the 7th. As I write this, I don't know if it'll be scheduled ahead of time (like this one has been) or if I'll just write it on Friday but that is the goal and I hope I can pull it off. :)

May God continue giving y'all a lovely week (or may He grant you a better week than you've had thus far).

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

Why I Decided to Share This Decision With You

I wasn't going to do it. I was going to wait until I was finished to drop the big surprise on everyone. On this blog, I've talked about a "new chapter" and a new long-time project but very few (we're talking probably a handful of) people knew what I was talking about it. Then last week happened and God made me see that I'd made my decision to not say anything partly out of fear of failing horribly and partly due to pride. What a prideful moment I would've had in telling y'all that I (God willing) finished something this big. However, I could feel God telling me, "Share it. You could use the prayers. No lady is an island." So, here it goes...

I returned to Utah State to finish my second Bachelor of Science in Communicative Disorders and Deaf Education late last month. It was not a decision I made on a whim nor one that I took lightly. As some of you may remember, I felt like I had no clarity about what I was meant to do with my life at that time. When I made the decision to take a leave of absence in early May, I thought I was done. I thought I wasn't going to return to finish the degree... yet something in me didn't want me to leave the school completely. I asked for some time off while I figured things out. I didn't want to burden myself with more student loans and I had a slew of other reasons to not continue... except that I had one good reason to continue: it seems to be what God is calling me to do.

I actually took nearly an entire month to be sure that it was what God was calling me to do. I did a couple of novenas but the one that really gave me a huge result was the Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati novena Mom and I made for both my health and my clarity of mind since both were answered within a week of each other.

It started with getting those amazing health results towards the end of May. Then I had this big "Eureka!" moment during which I felt like God opened my eyes. I was honest with myself about what I wanted; what I felt called to do. It was when I honestly said (and told some of my closest friends) that I felt like my future will be me focusing on my family and not so much a career that I figured everything else out. In order to do what I feel called to do, I need to pay off my student loans... and what better way to do that than with a career that is in demand, especially for someone who is fluent in both English and Spanish? Not only that, I will learn to work with children, with whom I don't have a lot of experience with since most of my friends have moved away and I don't get a lot of time with my nieces and/or nephews.

I forgot who said it -- possibly St. Francis de Sales or Bl. PGF -- but I remember reading a saint's own words about how sometimes we need to do what feels like a chore in order to be able to get to what we feel called to do. St. Therese of Lisieux had to wait a while before she could enter the convent. Other saints have had to do other things before they were able to begin fulfilling their vocations. I am no saint (though I aspire to be one someday) but knowing that those much holier than I have had to wait and have had to do work they didn't want to do (and offer it up along the way) in order to achieve their goal made me want to push forward.

I'm not going to pretend that my career path was chosen solely out of selflessness because that would be dishonest. Don't get me wrong, I actually like this career path. I initially chose it because I wanted to help children with speech impediments and it's still a big reason why I'm going forward. I enjoy giving the Goldman-Fristoe Test of Articulation (probably my favorite thing to do in the assessment process). The big kid in me loves being able to incorporate play (like, actual boardgames and toys) into therapy sessions that help a child learn how to speak more clearly. I loved my little group of 3 to 5-year-old little guys when I did some of my observation hours at a private practice. However, I also know that the (current) biggest motivator is being able to pay off my student loans. It may make me sound terrible but that's the honest answer. I love the path God has me on now... but I'm working on something greater than a career.

I still believe that God is calling me to be a wife and mother someday. It is still a dream of mine to educate my future children at home if it's God's will. I don't feel like I'm called to make speech-language pathology a long-term career (I feel like God has other plans in store for me in the future; plans that involve writing and/or being a speaker) so I won't be pursuing a Master's in this field. Once I finish this degree and do my state-mandated hours for my license, I'm calling time on my academic career. I do, however, feel like this is where God wants me right now so I'm just going to go forward and see what else God has in store for me in the future.

I wasn't lying when I said this was a new chapter for me. It is a new chapter since I'm doing things much differently this time around. I'm not ashamed to say that I have disability accommodations due to my PTSD. These accommodations allow me to get extra time on my exams so that I don't have a panic attack and blank out during exams. Oh, yes, that's been happening since I started the program 3 years ago; the little time we're given during exams trigger the fight or flight response in me. The memories of teachers (yes, teachers) and fellow students harassing me in front of everyone will always be in the back of my mind when I start feeling anxious/trapped in something school-related so the extra time allows me to take a moment to breathe and relax so I can continue taking the exam without worrying about not finishing it on time. I already witnessed how helpful it was when I did my first big exam this past weekend. I didn't do as well as I would've liked but, considering how poorly I felt (I had slept almost all day the day before and the day of the exam), I'm grateful for the grade I received and for the extra time which helped me focus on the big essay portion of the exam which was worth the most points.

Yes, I'm re-taking a class for the third time (y'all should see how many of us are repeating this one particular course) and that's humbling but that's okay. I needed to be humbled after how proud I was of my past academic successes. Perhaps that's why I also felt called to share this with y'all; to make sure I didn't fall back into that pride... and because, yes, I will need all the prayers I can get this and next semester.

This semester I'm taking three courses: the second and third hardest courses in the program (the hardest course is scheduled for the Spring semester) along with another one. I'm already incredibly overwhelmed by the amount of work and the amount of memorization I've had to do in the first couple of weeks. It didn't help that I was out of it for three straight days -- the entire weekend -- when I had my first big exam which made it difficult to recall the lectures I'd watched and the notes I'd taken. This is going to be a tough road -- one that I hope to finish (with a completed degree) in late April-early May (depending on when my final exams are scheduled).

As I told God before my exam on Friday night, I won't insult Him by asking Him to perform miracles if I don't put the effort to study myself. I'm not going to say "Oh, please let me pass... even if I don't study." No. That's why I've accepted my 64% on my first exam. I wasn't able to study as I would've liked, partly due to procrastination and some distractions but also because I've been sick. However, I do have the motivation to do and finish well now that I've gotten that score. It was the thing that kicked started my motivation because I had practically none for the first 2-3 weeks of the semester.

I know what I'm capable of (when I'm healthy) so I'm going to try to take care of myself and study as much as I can. This is where prayer comes in. I was somehow able to focus on the essay despite feeling as crummy as I did and I did so much better than I was anticipating. I know it was all God (thanks to the intercession of the Holy Spirit and St. Jude) because I actually felt alert that hour it took me to finish the exam. After that? Back to sleeping all day. In fact, I've still not recovered. I've still been sleeping all day (or barely sleeping like last night) and I have another big exam this weekend and 5 quizzes so, you know, back to praying that my health cooperates with me for this upcoming Friday's big exam/quiz bonanza... and the two big exams I have next week.

If it's His will that I finish this degree, I will. If not, I won't. St. Francis de Sales has been popping up in my life a lot in recent months and, despite not continuing with the third novel, I still have the ghostwriting gig (which, thankfully, the woman whose life story I'm writing is telling me to do when I have free time from schoolwork). I think more writing is in my future but, for now, my focus is on this degree and whatever comes from it.

So, there you have it. This is the big secret I was carrying around with me that I'd alluded to these past couple of months. In your charity, I ask you to please keep me in your prayers. Like I said, my health decided to mess around with me again (and it just began going down again only two weeks before the semester began after an unusually healthy summer -- lightheadedness and dizziness excluded) and this may just be my toughest semester (coursework and exam wise) of this program.

I may not write again until I get caught up with my studying and exams (I completely lost the first 3 weeks). After the 30th of this month, my coursework schedule should slow down a bit but I probably won't blog more than once or twice more before then. We'll see what God has in store for me.

I hope you all had a lovely weekend and have a great week. :)

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

Why I'm No Longer Writing the Third Novel

One of the clues I gave a small group of friends on what my novel was about back in June.

First, I just wanted to say a big "thank you!" to all of you for your kind words (in public and private) regarding the blog post I wrote last night (God Humbled This Proud, Conceited, Vain Girl). I honestly wasn't expecting many people to read it since I wrote it and posted it so late. I woke up to some very lovely messages and it brightened my morning despite the lack of sleep.

As I wrote yesterday, I didn't post this blog post yesterday because I had last night's blog post topic on my mind. In my heart, I felt like it was the right time to write and publish it... even if it meant that I would get little to no readers as the East Coast, where most of my readers reside, was already asleep by then. God does love to surprise us, doesn't He?

I won't make this post very long because there is going to be a (sort-of) part two and three in which I will discuss what the messages/theme of the novel were and why I was inspired to write it. However, after much consideration, I decided not to continue it... or, at least, not to publish it.

A couple of days ago, I stayed up until 2:30 a.m. (after writing for hours) editing and fleshing out the story a bit more since the basics were all written out through the ending. I went to sleep feeling so happy that I'd broken through the writer's block and that the novel finally felt right; that God had finally given me the right words to say. When I went to work the next afternoon, I was met with a surprise: everything I had written, edited, and worked on was gone.

I have this tendency to save every couple of minutes so that I don't lose anything. I'm a writer; it's a habit for the sake of one's sanity. I also backup all my files online just to be safe. Before I went into full-blown panic mode, I went to recover all the unsaved documents... and everything but the novel was there. I went through all my documents -- through all my files on my laptop -- and found nothing. I asked Microsoft for help but I was informed that since I don't save my documents on their own online cloud, my work was lost.

I would be lying if I said I didn't cry. I did. I apparently had the most heartbreakingly sad cry I'd had in years that my mom left the room so she wouldn't hear me. I was gutted. I had worked so hard and to lose everything just hurt... especially since I felt like I was finally going to be done with it.

For weeks, I'd wanted to finish the novel because it was inspired by what I went through this summer and earlier this year; what caused me to have an intense spiritual dryness I'd never experienced before and what nearly caused me to nearly leave the Faith. Having to write things out was making me relive things, which wasn't all bad. I was able to work through a lot of things and it helped me get my spiritual life back in order. However, in the last couple of weeks, it was doing a lot of interior damage. Sure, my spiritual life was getting better but other parts in my interior life were suffering. That's why I tried to work through it as fast as possible; I just wanted to be done with it. Furthermore, every time something associated with the novel came up, I would get inexplicably ill. Think anxiety symptoms and then some.

I talked to one of my best friends and my mother about it and we all came to the same conclusion -- it seemed like a sign that I shouldn't continue writing it. As I thought about it more, and especially during my time of prayer, I realized that the novel didn't feel right anymore. I still want to get the messages out there... but perhaps I should come clean in the form of blog posts instead of fiction based on real-life events. As much as I love writing fiction (and I do plan on continuing some day), it seems like writing on this blog -- sharing the good and the bad that happens in my life -- bears the most fruit... so that's what I'm going to do.

I hope to write about the novel themes (and perhaps even share a bit of what I wrote in the novel through this blog) in the next couple of days. I have two big things due on the 8th and the 15th so I don't know how much I'll write between now and then. I shall try to get them written soon if I can get my work done on time. Please say a prayer for me regarding these two things (the first two of several in the next couple of months), especially since I'm a week behind schedule and it's a lot of work. I have two novenas going on at the same time -- one to St. Jude and one of the Holy Spirit -- because these are big, important things I cannot afford to mess up. Prayers, please: that I do well on them and that my health cooperates.

Anyway, I offer my apologies to those who were looking forward to the novel. I do hope to write another in the future but it looks like this one won't see the light of day anytime soon... especially not after I write the blog posts. Y'all will see what I mean.

And, now, I'm off to work on the thing that's due on Friday because I have like less than 2 days to complete it. *runs*

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :)

Thoughts on My Vocation

In recent months, my vocation has become clear to me... but I've been unable to live it out for obvious reasons. Before I get deeper into this topic, let me just share with y'all how all of this happened.

For months (since the last 54-day Rosary novena during Advent 2016), I've been praying that God shows me what I need to work on to prepare myself for my future vocation of wife and mother. It hasn't been "send me a man!" or "take this loneliness away!" It's been "please help me see what I need to work on before a husband and family comes my way." I knew that there were certain things that I needed to work on but what I didn't anticipate was just intense it would all get before I started making any real progress.

Looking back at everything I've had to deal with since January -- everything that has tested my faith and produced a profound spiritual dryness in me -- I see that it all makes sense. I was inspired to ask God (during the St. Andrew novena; I did two novenas simultaneously) to help me get rid of my attachment to earthly things that would be problematic for me and my vocation. One of them turned out to be something that I hadn't faced since I reverted to the faith; something that I believed was no longer a danger but which proved to be something I was still very much attached to. It involved the career path I was on prior to my reversion and a terrible nostalgia for things that were once harmful to me.

I dealt with these things until last month into this month. My eyes were opened and I began to work to detach myself from these things... but it has not been easy because of the emotional attachments to a certain group of people that have been a big part of my life in the past year. This is still something I'm working on -- which has been especially hard on social media since we're all active on these various platforms -- but God is slowly working in helping me get past this.

At the same time that all of this is happening, I came to realize one big thing that is going to be problematic in another way: I feel as if I may be called to be a stay-at-home mother (SAHM) in the future. This is a problem for two reasons. First, I can't know that for sure until I discern marriage with someone, get married, have a family, and then see if we can afford for me to be a SAHM. Second, there is so much opposition to that train of thought... including in my own (current) home.

My mother has always worked hard for everything her entire life -- especially after my dad had a work-related knee injury that ended up in a botched operation that left him disabled for the rest of his life. To her, you need to work. Since I was a little girl, she's drilled into me that I need to have my own career and a job in case I marry some guy who will end up dumping me and abandoning our children. That's all I've heard from her and other people (including my godmother) since I can remember. Can you see how terrible cynical and jaded this point of view is? I mean, I get where they're coming from but I also feel like I've been pressured into just thinking about a career and being an independent woman even if I don't feel called to it.

And, I don't. I don't feel called to have a long term career. I don't feel called to put a career and work ahead of my family. I've never felt that way... but I have felt pressured into adopting that attitude or else I will be an immense disappointment to those who've drilled this idea into my head. All of this has become even more obvious in recent months when I discerned my career path and God made it clear that what I'm doing now is enough for what He has in store for me.

I don't feel like I'm called to go to grad school for any particular career path, burdening myself with more student debt. Instead, I feel called to continue down the path (that became clear to me in late May) until He calls me to do something else. It feels temporary but also something that will prepare me for whatever happens in the future.

My plans/goals for the near future are to work to pay off my student loans and to work on my relationship with God while I wait. Since I made these decisions, everything has been falling into place -- my health issues, my career and vocation confusion, etc. I can see myself going forward in a way I haven't since I graduated from college many moons ago. These plans are (currently) short-term because, as I said, I feel like He has something else in store for me. Whether that means a husband and family or a different career path, I don't know but I can't see myself doing this for more than 2-3 years. I think I will be able to pay off most (if not) all of my student loans during that time which is pretty exciting for me.

I do have my moments of impatience because I feel like He's finally shown me what He wants me to do and what my future vocation is... but I can't live it out just yet. The biological clock has started to tick (I just turned 32 in late May) and sometimes I think that maybe I discerned wrong... but then I remember the peace I feel when I think about the immediate plans that have been revealed to me through prayer and saintly intercessions.

I feel like I can't relate to many of my fellow single 30+ year-olds because I mostly hear rants about being single and, while I do have moments of impatience and loneliness, I don't feel the same way they do. It took a long time but I feel peace thinking about the waiting period because I know God is going to make me into a better version of myself in that time. Not only that, I know He's going to make sure that He is number one in my life and that nothing will replace Him. I need this time to make sure I'm spiritually mature enough to deal with the earthly highs and joy without forgetting that He is the center of my life and the only one Who can fill that emptiness and hole in my heart.

I've never been bitter about being one of the last of my friends to marry and/or have children. I don't hate Valentine's Day. I'm not a fan of PDA only because I feel like it's an intrusion of privacy that only a couple should experience. I don't do a lot of things that many of my fellow single ladies (understandably) do because God has helped me see things differently. I think that entrusting my heart to the Immaculate Heart of Mary is the big reason why I'm able to look at the big picture and remember His plans instead of succumbing to melancholic feelings about my vocation.

If you're reading this and you feel differently, that's fine. This post isn't me saying that my way of thinking and looking at things is correct and yours isn't; I'm just sharing what's been happening with me in terms of my vocation lately. Not everyone is going to agree with what I said. Some people will have problems because we think differently and you may feel personally attacked but it wasn't my intention. I'm not attacking anyone; I'm just sharing why I can't relate to some of you... who, obviously, won't be able to relate to some if not all of this post. God has us all on different paths (all, hopefully, destined to the same end: Heaven) but we can all still pray for each other because we can all agree that being unable to live our vocations -- when we so desperately want to -- isn't always the easiest thing.

That's where I am in terms of my vocation discernment at the moment. I gave myself a self-imposed dating break to focus on rebuilding my relationship with God but only He knows how long that will last. All I know is that I will continue to my work on my goal to pay off my student loans, to work on my relationship with Him, and let everything else came as God wills it. No rush. No timetable. Just doing what I feel He wants me to do.

And that's it for now. It's still pretty warm outside and I'm not feeling that great (may be something I ate) so I'm going to go watch a movie and take it easy. :)

I hope you all have a lovely weekend!

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless! :D

P.S. Don't forget to join the Frassati Prayer Community in case you have any prayer requests you'd like us to add to our prayers. :D

Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati Novena, Day Nine

Day Nine
Jesus says: “Blessed are you when they revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on My account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven.”

Pier Giorgio responds: “We who by the grace of God are Catholics must steel ourselves for the battle we shall certainly have to fight to fulfill our program and to give our country, in the not too distant future, happier days and a morally healthy society. But to achieve this we need constant prayer
to obtain from God that grace without which all our powers are useless.”

We pray: Blessed Pier Giorgio, show me how to bear all wrongs patiently. Help me to accept the sufferings which others inflict on me because of my desire to be faithful to Jesus.

Blessed Pier Giorgio, I ask for your intercession in obtaining from God, Who protects the innocent, all the graces necessary for my spiritual and temporal welfare. I confidently turn to you for help in my present need: (mention your request.)

Litany of Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati (for private devotion)

Lord, have mercy. Lord, have mercy.

Christ, have mercy. Christ, have mercy.

Lord, have mercy. Lord, have mercy.

God our Father in heaven, have mercy on us.

God the Son, Redeemer of the world, have mercy on us.

God the Holy Spirit, have mercy on us.

Holy Trinity, One God, have mercy on us.

Holy Mary, pray for us.

All the angels and saints, pray for us.

Blessed Pier Giorgio, pray for us.

Loving son and brother, pray for us.

Support of family life, pray for us.

Friend of the friendless, pray for us.

Most Christian of companions, pray for us.

Leader of youth, pray for us.

Helper of those in need, pray for us.

Teacher of charity, pray for us.

Patron of the poor, pray for us.

Comfort of the sick, pray for us.

Athlete for God’s kingdom, pray for us.

Conqueror of life’s mountains, pray for us.

Defender of truth and virtue, pray for us.

Opponent of every injustice, pray for us.

Patriotic citizen of the nation, pray for us.

Loyal son of the Church, pray for us.

Devoted child of the Madonna, pray for us.

Ardent adorer of the Eucharist, pray for us.

Fervent student of the Scriptures, pray for us.

Dedicated follower of St. Dominic, pray for us.

Apostle of prayer and fasting, pray for us.

Guide to a deep love for Jesus, pray for us.

Diligent in work and study, pray for us.

Joyful in all of life’s circumstances, pray for us.

Strong in safeguarding chastity, pray for us.

Silent in pain and suffering, pray for us.

Faithful to the promises of Baptism, pray for us.

Model of humility, pray for us.

Example of detachment, pray for us.

Mirror of obedience, pray for us.

Man of the Beatitudes, pray for us.

Lamb of God, You take away the sins of the world, have mercy on us.

Lamb of God, You take away the sins of the world, have mercy on us.

Lamb of God, You take away the sins of the world, have mercy on us.

V. Pray for us, Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati,

R. That we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.

Prayer

Let us pray: Father, You gave to the young Pier Giorgio Frassati the joy of meeting Christ and of living his faith in service of the poor and the sick. Through his intercession, may we, too, walk the path of the Beatitudes and follow the example of his generosity, spreading the spirit of the Gospel in society. We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen.

Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati Novena, Day Eight

Day Eight
Jesus says: “Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”

Pier Giorgio responds: “To live without faith, without a patrimony to defend, without a steady struggle for truth – that is not living, but existing.”

We pray: Blessed Pier Giorgio, teach me silence in the face of personal humiliation and unjust criticism. But guide me to be courageous like you in standing on the side of God’s truth. Help me to be faithful to Him in all things, so that His Will may be done in and through my life. Show me how to
persevere in the struggle for those things which are holy and honorable.

Blessed Pier Giorgio, I ask for your intercession in obtaining from God, Who is the source of grace and truth, all the graces necessary for my spiritual and temporal welfare. I confidently turn to you for help in my present need: (mention your request.)

Litany of Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati (for private devotion)
Lord, have mercy. Lord, have mercy.
Christ, have mercy. Christ, have mercy.
Lord, have mercy. Lord, have mercy.

God our Father in heaven, have mercy on us.
God the Son, Redeemer of the world, have mercy on us.
God the Holy Spirit, have mercy on us.
Holy Trinity, One God, have mercy on us.

Holy Mary, pray for us.
All the angels and saints, pray for us.

Blessed Pier Giorgio, pray for us.
Loving son and brother, pray for us.
Support of family life, pray for us.
Friend of the friendless, pray for us.
Most Christian of companions, pray for us.
Leader of youth, pray for us.
Helper of those in need, pray for us.
Teacher of charity, pray for us.
Patron of the poor, pray for us.
Comfort of the sick, pray for us.
Athlete for God’s kingdom, pray for us.
Conqueror of life’s mountains, pray for us.
Defender of truth and virtue, pray for us.
Opponent of every injustice, pray for us.
Patriotic citizen of the nation, pray for us.
Loyal son of the Church, pray for us.
Devoted child of the Madonna, pray for us.
Ardent adorer of the Eucharist, pray for us.
Fervent student of the Scriptures, pray for us.
Dedicated follower of St. Dominic, pray for us.
Apostle of prayer and fasting, pray for us.
Guide to a deep love for Jesus, pray for us.
Diligent in work and study, pray for us.
Joyful in all of life’s circumstances, pray for us.
Strong in safeguarding chastity, pray for us.
Silent in pain and suffering, pray for us.
Faithful to the promises of Baptism, pray for us.
Model of humility, pray for us.
Example of detachment, pray for us.
Mirror of obedience, pray for us.
Man of the Beatitudes, pray for us.

Lamb of God, You take away the sins of the world, have mercy on us.
Lamb of God, You take away the sins of the world, have mercy on us.
Lamb of God, You take away the sins of the world, have mercy on us.

V. Pray for us, Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati,
R. That we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.

Prayer
Let us pray: Father, You gave to the young Pier Giorgio Frassati the joy of meeting Christ and of living his faith in service of the poor and the sick. Through his intercession, may we, too, walk the path of the Beatitudes and follow the example of his generosity, spreading the spirit of the Gospel in society. We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen.

Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati Novena, Day Seven

Day Seven
Jesus says: “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called children of God.”

Pier Giorgio responds: “I offer you my best wishes – or, rather, only one wish, but the only wish that a true friend can express for a dear friend: may the peace of the Lord be with you always! For, if you possess peace every day, you will be truly rich.”

We pray: Blessed Pier Giorgio, despite your daily struggles, you found peace by fostering your own well being in work, study, and play; in prayer alone and with others; in silence and in song, in laughter and in serious conversation with friends. Guide me to that inner peace which will enable me to share peace with others.

Blessed Pier Giorgio, I ask for your intercession in obtaining from God, Who is our peace, all the graces necessary for my spiritual and temporal welfare. I confidently turn to you for help in my present need: (mention your request.)

Litany of Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati (for private devotion)
Lord, have mercy. Lord, have mercy.
Christ, have mercy. Christ, have mercy.
Lord, have mercy. Lord, have mercy.

God our Father in heaven, have mercy on us.
God the Son, Redeemer of the world, have mercy on us.
God the Holy Spirit, have mercy on us.
Holy Trinity, One God, have mercy on us.

Holy Mary, pray for us.
All the angels and saints, pray for us.

Blessed Pier Giorgio, pray for us.
Loving son and brother, pray for us.
Support of family life, pray for us.
Friend of the friendless, pray for us.
Most Christian of companions, pray for us.
Leader of youth, pray for us.
Helper of those in need, pray for us.
Teacher of charity, pray for us.
Patron of the poor, pray for us.
Comfort of the sick, pray for us.
Athlete for God’s kingdom, pray for us.
Conqueror of life’s mountains, pray for us.
Defender of truth and virtue, pray for us.
Opponent of every injustice, pray for us.
Patriotic citizen of the nation, pray for us.
Loyal son of the Church, pray for us.
Devoted child of the Madonna, pray for us.
Ardent adorer of the Eucharist, pray for us.
Fervent student of the Scriptures, pray for us.
Dedicated follower of St. Dominic, pray for us.
Apostle of prayer and fasting, pray for us.
Guide to a deep love for Jesus, pray for us.
Diligent in work and study, pray for us.
Joyful in all of life’s circumstances, pray for us.
Strong in safeguarding chastity, pray for us.
Silent in pain and suffering, pray for us.
Faithful to the promises of Baptism, pray for us.
Model of humility, pray for us.
Example of detachment, pray for us.
Mirror of obedience, pray for us.
Man of the Beatitudes, pray for us.

Lamb of God, You take away the sins of the world, have mercy on us.
Lamb of God, You take away the sins of the world, have mercy on us.
Lamb of God, You take away the sins of the world, have mercy on us.

V. Pray for us, Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati,
R. That we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.

Prayer
Let us pray: Father, You gave to the young Pier Giorgio Frassati the joy of meeting Christ and of living his faith in service of the poor and the sick. Through his intercession, may we, too, walk the path of the Beatitudes and follow the example of his generosity, spreading the spirit of the Gospel in society. We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen.