Go Liverpool!; Anxiety and Catholicism, St. Dymphna.

I just watched the Liverpool vs. Sunderland game and let me tell you, Fernando Torres is a monster (in a good way)! Haha. I yelled and celebrated before saying "Torres, you are one beautiful man for scoring!" lol. I get a little too into soccer matches, especially if they are Liverpool matches. If my neighbors hadn't woken up by 9:30 a.m. (remember I'm on the U.S. West Coast), they definitely did with my yelling. Haha. I hope they will continue to do well throughout the season. And, good luck to everyone's team... even if you are a Manchester United (ugh) fan (like one of my best friends is). Yes, it is possible for Liverpool and Man Utd fans to be friends. Haha. :D

Oh, and before I continue with what I want to write about anxiety and Catholicism, the EEG test went a lot quicker than I had anticipated. My mom said it took them 45 minutes from start to finish. That strobe light that flashes when you have your eyes closed totally messed up my calm/zen feeling but it wasn't anything I couldn't control. Thank goodness that was only for about 2-3 minutes though. eesh. My props to those who have had that test done with anxiety worse than mine. You are brave souls.

And while I'm on the topic of anxiety (see how nicely it flows into the main topic? lol), I've noticed that quite a number of people who read the blog have discovered it while searching for anxiety related things that have to do with Catholicism. While I had my pretty strong attack yesterday (the EEG test has thrown me off balance a bit), I had an epiphany... which was actually a repeat of the first one I had a few weeks ago.

For some time now, I've asked the Lord to give me peace of mind when I have my anxiety attacks. It's very easy (depending on how bad your anxiety is) to completely wig out and start with the negative thoughts. "Oh, I'm going to die", "Something's wrong with me!", "I'm never going to get better!", "I'm hopeless", etc. I've had some of those thoughts before, particularly during the really intense attacks, but I've completely put myself in the hands of the Lord so I feel more at ease when I get sick. I think that when you do something like that, you feel more in control (in a sense) because you know that whatever happens it's because it's the Lord's will. Every time I get sick now, I say, "Please give me the strength to overcome this, if it's the Lord's will. If I have to endure it for a longer period of time, please give me the strength and courage to deal with this for as long as I have to." I've had anxiety for years (since I was 15) but I've gotten to a point where it no longer gets to me the way it used to because I've realized that I can only get stronger from it. Yes, I have attacks and sometimes those attacks make me feel like the world is caving in around me, or I get so frustrated that all I can do is cry. But then I remind myself that there are people in this world who are so far worse than I am.

There are people who have illnesses and circumstances that are very grave. There are children, who are defenseless, who suffer from things like life-threatening cancer. Innocent people suffer far worse than I do. It really makes you put things into perspective. Yes, I (and others who have anxiety and other nervous illnesses) go through something that's indescribably horrible... but at least we have hope of getting better. I think people should be more grateful for all they have and should focus on helping others who truly need it. And, also, it's always important to remember that we're never alone. God never leaves those in need alone, EVER. Just when things get really bad, remind yourselves that the Lord never gives you anything that you can't handle. There's a reason why we go through what we go through; we just have to have faith that it's all part of God's plans for us. We might not understand the reason, but there is one and it's only going make us stronger. Just think of this verse from the Bible:

"Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. And so shall the peace of God, which exceeds all understanding, guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6-7)

There are many more, which I will hopefully have them all written in a blog fairly soon -- like before I start Fall semester in a week.

One thing we Catholics can also do is pray to St. Dymphna for her intercession. St. Dymphna was an Irish martyr. She was killed by her father, who had gone mad after the death of his wife, for refusing to marry him. You can learn more about her at her wikipedia page (it's legit). I've prayed for her intercession numerous times when I've gone through particularly bad anxiety periods and she's NEVER let me down. I can feel myself very calm after a few minutes of praying the Holy Card I have of her. I scanned it in for those of you who would like to have it (just click on it to make it bigger).



I think the most important thing we can do is pray and have faith that everything will turn out for the best. Pray the Rosary when you're going through a bad time. It's completely amazing how I've completely engrossed myself in prayer and it's brought such peace into my heart, I've been able to eliminate anxiety very quickly.

Alright, I've already written more than I intended to. When do I not? lol. Oh, and quick update: I'm making HUGE steps on the novel/screenplay I'm working on. I'm so excited that God's been blessing me with such an amazing creative kick. I hope I do a good job on it... especially since there might be plans to turn it into a film (which may be filmed at the Basilica of Our Lady of Guadalupe -- did I just give something away? I think I did. *gasp* lol.) *crosses fingers* Okay, wow, I need to stop writing. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless.
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Mother's Day Adventures, EPL Season is Done *sad sigh*, and Je Ne Comprends Pas!

It's a few minutes after midnight so... it's officially the day of the American Mother's Day. Happy mother's day to any and all mothers that might read this blog. :D And before anyone asks... I gave my mother a ring with an angel on it and I also signed her name (as well as the names of my 3 Godmothers) to a list of all the mother's being honored with a Mother's Day Novena at the Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception. I don't think I'll ever be able to top that gift because mom said it was the best present I could've given her. Maybe the birth of her first grandchild will top that. Sorry, mom, but you'll have to wait quite a while for that since I have no intention of getting married anytime in the near future.

Mother's Day was hectic, but fun! I got my mom to go with me to Mass at my old parish. I loved it for many reasons... 1) I got one of my parents to attend Mass with me, 2) I love my old parish, and 3) it was awesome to see Fr. Leo and Fr. James again. In fact, when Fr. Leo was going around sprinkling Holy Water on everyone, he came to my section, saw me... did a double take and came back and sprinkled me with some more Holy Water. Yes, that's right... I got it twice! lol. After Mass, Fr. Leo jokingly said that he hoped he didn't drown with me all that Holy Water. lol. I think he wanted me to be twice as blessed, especially since he knows about my situation with my anxiety. Gotta love Fr. Leo! :D I also got to talk to Fr. James (had a confession with him) about how I'd said the Lord's name in vain and he said that since I didn't intentionally say it, and that I seemed genuinely sorry for having said it (I had tears when I confessed because that's how much I hate offending Him), that it wasn't a mortal sin... that it was probably a venial sin. He thinks I'm too hard on myself and that I'm very sensitive. I don't think I'm hard on myself but I agree that I am sensitive. It's funny, I'm sensitive about certain things but not every thing. :D Anyway, after Mass, and after Fr. James blessed my new rosary and scapular, we did a bunch of errands and were in the car for most of the afternoon. It really was too much traveling in the car. Oy! But, we got things done, which is important. :D

When we got home, I was about to watch the final Liverpool game of the season (it was aired as a delayed broadcast) against Tottenham. What a GAME! Dad and I were on the edge of our seats at the end. We kind of bagged on poor Voronin until he scored then we just said sorry. lol. I was super excited when Torres scored! 24 Premier League goals, 33 total in all competitions, in his first season in England! El Niño is on fire! While it's disappointing that we didn't win anything this season (and that we finished 4th in the League), I am excited about next season. Bummer that I'll have to wait until August, when I'll be moving. *le sigh* I will miss you, my beloved English Premier League (EPL). Well, at least I have the MLS and upcoming international games. :D Oh and how about a shou tout to the U.S. Women's National Team! They beat Canada's Women's team 6-0. Yes, you read that right... Six to Nil! You go girls! :D

Okay, now, I have a little dilemma... Je ne comprends pas le Français! I seriously need to better my French if I ever want to read "Pythagore, je t'adore" by Patrick Cauvin. Not just that, I need to learn it soon or else I am not going to understand NADA when I go to France! I understand quite a bit of French, and I definitely have the ability to say the basic words I can actually speak with the proper accent/pronunciation, but I am NOWHERE near where I'd like to be. Does anyone know of a good program that will be helpful? Don't even bother recommending Rosetta Stone, I heard it's overpriced (well, I know this for a fact) and that it's not as good as people think. Any suggestions, please feel free to leave me a comment! I'll have to investigate where I can learn French without it being too painful (or time consuming).

Alright, well, it's nearly 1 a.m. and I have another long, busy day... that starts in a few hours. *groan* So tired! Sorry for babbling on. I seem to be doing quite a bit of that lately, don't I? Sorry! :D As usual, thanks for reading and God Bless.
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