All Souls' Day; Dia de los Muertos

That is my father's grave marker after we decorated it for All Souls' Day. We were keeping the Mexican tradition of Dia de Los Muertos (my father was Mexican-American... Mexican born, naturalized American) in which add some of the person's favorite things, when they were living, to the grave. All foods and candles were strictly forbidden by the cemetery so we couldn't decorate it any more. Since we couldn't put a coffee cup, his favorite thing in the world after his cars, we added pinwheels which he thought were fun (he was a kid at heart.) One of them has the Mexican flag on it in honor of our Mexican heritage.

The day itself was a pretty deal for us, especially since this is the first time we really celebrate it. As soon as we found out that all the Catholic cemeteries in the Los Angeles Archdiocese were going to have Mass at 10 a.m., mom and I decided to go in honor of dad's memory. It also helps that dad is buried at the San Fernando Mission Cemetery so we would be able to visit him after the Mass without any problems. Of course, that meant that I'd have to miss my Philosophy course but I didn't care. I was going to go to that Mass and my love of arguing with my professor wasn't going to stop me. I am so happy that I made that decision because it was only one of most beautiful experiences I've ever had.

The Mass was... beautiful, and bilingual. I was able to pray and sing hymns in both English and Spanish. There were many priests, representing the parishes around the San Fernando Valley, including Fr. Stan (who was my spiritual adviser until he was assigned to a different parish) and Fr. James (who is the new Irish-American priest at our parish). The sat in the sun, while the rest of us were in the shade. They said the reason for that was that they were doing penance for us. God bless them; it was over 90 degrees Fahrenheit and the sun burned. The hymns that were sung were lovely and appropriate. "Ave Maria" was sung in Italian and I teared up a bit because the woman put so much emotion into the song. I loved that they really focused on what the feast day was all about. The presiding priest, Fr. Steven Guitron (of Guardian Angel Church in Pacoima), gave a beautiful homily in which he talked about souls, purgatory, and trying to lead saintly lives so that we can, one day, enter Heaven and be with the Lord. He added things in both English and Spanish that I wish everyone there understood because it was a lovely message. Mom and I both received the Eucharist at the Mass and it all just felt... so right. Before the Mass ended, they thanked us for going to Mass and praying for the deceased. They concluded with Psalm 55:6, "Oh, that I had wings like a dove! I would fly away and be at rest." As soon as that was said, they let about a dozen doves fly, surprising everyone in attendance. Many of us, both men and women, shed tears at how beautiful it was. (btw, I'm well aware that I'm using the word "beautiful" a lot but I honestly can't think of a better word for this experience.)

After Mass was over, we went back to visit dad's grave (where we first stopped before Mass). On our way there, we passed Ritchie Valens' grave. My mom is a big fan of the song "Donna" so it was interesting for her to see where the composer/singer of one of her favorite songs was buried. After passing by his grave, and praying for his soul, we went to daddy's grave to decorate it. As you saw in the picture, we really decorated it and would've probably added more things if we were able to. We didn't add marigolds, which is the tradition in Mexican cemeteries because my mother didn't want to do. I did but I was vetoed for once. lol. As we were decorating it his grave, I thought about how much I was like... what I'd learned from him... how much I missed him... how much he would always be a part of my life even though he's no longer physically here. All in all, it was a great experience and I look forward to doing it every year.

Whatever you did for All Soul's Day, I hope you remembered all the loved ones you've lost and remember that they'll always be with you. As Fr. Steven reminded us at the Mass, we may not see them, but they're looking out for us... helping us (through intercession) as much as they are able to, much like saints and blesseds.

That's all for now. I hope everyone had a great weekend. :D As always, thanks for reading and God Bless.

Cold, You are NO Friend of Mine; Dreams: End of the World (Again).

I think I have my first actual cold (not just cold-like symptoms) in nearly 3 years. Yes, you read that correctly. The last time I had a full blown cold/flu was in November 2005. You see? I'm pretty healthy, except for my anxiety. :D This blog won't be too long because I want to get back into bed soon. Hopefully my anxiety won't get worse. Prayer to St. Dymphna will definitely be said today! Mister Cold, you are definitely NO friend of mine! I missed my British Lit class yesterday... and my paper was due! UGH! But, trust me, I spent most of the day in bed because I felt like passing out. I only went to the hospital to get the heart monitor taken off. Hey, maybe the whole episode on Sunday was just a warning that a cold was on it's way. Ah!

I had yet ANOTHER end of the world dream. It's been quite a while since I've written about my dreams, eh? I've only had one dream about what happened after the world ended (which I wrote about a few months ago). Most of my dreams that are about the end of the world never get beyond what's happening as the world is ending. Only that one in April has been about what happened afterward -- walking through Purgatory and all of that with my parents and maternal grandmother. Last night's dream was typical except that it went a little further than usual.

In the dream, we looked up to the sky -- the sun was setting behind us and we could see the sky getting darker and all the stars shining like little diamonds in the sky. Then I saw three bomb explosions happening right next to each other in the sky. The explosions were very golden but think of the color of 10 karat gold. That light golden color. Then I saw something silver/metallic coming down from the sky and the earth began to shake violently. I remember going to grab the Our Lady of Guadalupe framed picture that's up on my way and then grabbing the St. Jude statues (kind of like what I do in real life when there's an earthquake) and hold them close to me. I remember seeing a life sized crucifix, with Jesus nailed to the cross. I remember it getting nearer and nearer but then I woke up. Yeah. It's been quite a while since I've had any dreams like that.

Dreams are just weird, man. I haven't told Fr. Leo any of my recent dreams but I know he's interested in them. As Fr. James once told me, my dreams are better than movies. lol. He's absolutely right. :D Hopefully I'll be able to chat with him once my cold goes away. I need to talk to him anyway, see if he can help me with something. :D

Alright, well, I need to get back to bed and drink plenty of fluids. I want this cold out of me as soon as possible. One positive thing about this cold, I have more time for prayer and for movies about saints! WHOO! lol. Hey, when I get sick, I find more time to devote myself to the Lord and prayer so I see it as a blessing... despite the gross feelings. :D

I hope everyone's doing well. As always, thanks for reading and God Bless.
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And I am back.

I have to make this short, though, because I'm about to go watch "The Nativity Story" which I just got from Netflix.

I am doing MUCH better. Apparently, all my trips to the hospital (3 total in a span of less than 2 weeks) were caused by an intestinal virus which led to a bit of dehydration . Needless to say, it was no picnic. But, as I said, I'm so much better now! :D

I have a lot to say... especially about how I experienced a very powerful moment on Sunday morning which made me stop and sort of make sure I'd experienced it -- which I have to speak to Fr. Leo about first to see what he says about what I heard. Also, I have old friends back in my life (friends I lost touch with but have recently gotten in contact with)... something I was doing for myself is being turned into a novel at the suggestion of my mother... I am still working on the OTHER novel... I have a roadtrip coming up this weekend... I have a movie premiere I might go to next week, etc. *phew* I have one busy couple of weeks ahead of me but will, hopefully, still find time to come and write a bit as often as I can.

By the way, do any of you go to Mass on a daily basis? I've gone the past two days in a row -- mainly because I had yesterday's Mass dedicated to Our Lady of Guadalupe and today's Mass dedicated to St. Jude Thaddeus (who refuses to let my prayers go unanswered. I'd hug him if I could!). I have never gone on an almost daily basis but I have to admit, I like it! Hopefully I'll be able to go more often. Oh, and DAD went to Mass with me today, which was a complete miracle! I've been praying that he goes to Mass with mom and I and he finally did. Although, I think he did today because I felt faint (blame my ongoing battle with anxiety) and he wanted to make sure I didn't get sick. We don't want a repeat of Sunday morning in which I missed Mass because I had a series of panic attacks (back to back) from around midnight to almost 9 in the morning. I went 23 hours without sleep -- but, if what I heard during one particularly bad attacks (when I was asking the Lord why I keep suffering) was a direct answer from the Lord, I am willing to endure these panic attacks. If what I heard was the answer, and if I now know the reason, I'll gladly accept it. I feel like I've said too much, though. I won't say any more about that until I've talked to Fr. Leo... or Fr. Stan.

And, speaking of priests, if you live in the Buffalo, NY area and attend Holy Angels Parish, you will be getting a priest I have a lot of respect for -- Fr. James. He used to be a priest at my parish but he got re-assigned to Holy Angels. Make sure you go and say hello to him. He's such a lovely man and I will never forget him telling me that I am too hard on myself... because I am but I didn't really recognize it until he said it. :D

Alright, well, the movie awaits. I hope everyone is well. Thanks for reading and God Bless. :D

P.S. WHOOO SPAIN WON EURO 2008!!!! Go España! Go España! :D
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Birthday Blessings.

Lucky for you, I have date night coming up in like half an hour so I have to keep my blog short tonight. Go ahead and celebrate. lol.

I went to Mass today feeling very sick (I was sick since last night -- probably something I ate) and there were times when I thought I wouldn't make it but I stuck it out. WHOO! That was a great Mass. I really enjoyed it. :D After Mass, Fr. James (who says that I'm too hard on myself sometimes) blessed me because my birthday is this week, before the next Sunday Mass. He put his hands on my head and blessed me, which was awesome... even when he moved my head around! lol. Then he asked how long I was turning and I told him and he said "OH! GOOD YEAR!" The way he said it was funny. I love Fr. James, he's one of my favorite priests. :D I also got to see Fr. Leo, my other favorite priest, whom I greeted (he was on his way to say the Spanish Mass which starts after the English Mass). I'm just happy I got a blessing and hope that it will give a good kick start to my next year. :D

Alright, well, like I said... this blog is short. I have to go prepare myself for war. Well, okay, a "war" in which I try to get my way on which movie we're watching. lol. As always, thanks for reading and God Bless.

P.S. Thank goodness for my ring finger being occupied or else I would've had an AWKWARD situation during Mass this morning/afternoon. Seriously, ring on ring finger means forget it buddy! lol.
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Mother's Day Adventures, EPL Season is Done *sad sigh*, and Je Ne Comprends Pas!

It's a few minutes after midnight so... it's officially the day of the American Mother's Day. Happy mother's day to any and all mothers that might read this blog. :D And before anyone asks... I gave my mother a ring with an angel on it and I also signed her name (as well as the names of my 3 Godmothers) to a list of all the mother's being honored with a Mother's Day Novena at the Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception. I don't think I'll ever be able to top that gift because mom said it was the best present I could've given her. Maybe the birth of her first grandchild will top that. Sorry, mom, but you'll have to wait quite a while for that since I have no intention of getting married anytime in the near future.

Mother's Day was hectic, but fun! I got my mom to go with me to Mass at my old parish. I loved it for many reasons... 1) I got one of my parents to attend Mass with me, 2) I love my old parish, and 3) it was awesome to see Fr. Leo and Fr. James again. In fact, when Fr. Leo was going around sprinkling Holy Water on everyone, he came to my section, saw me... did a double take and came back and sprinkled me with some more Holy Water. Yes, that's right... I got it twice! lol. After Mass, Fr. Leo jokingly said that he hoped he didn't drown with me all that Holy Water. lol. I think he wanted me to be twice as blessed, especially since he knows about my situation with my anxiety. Gotta love Fr. Leo! :D I also got to talk to Fr. James (had a confession with him) about how I'd said the Lord's name in vain and he said that since I didn't intentionally say it, and that I seemed genuinely sorry for having said it (I had tears when I confessed because that's how much I hate offending Him), that it wasn't a mortal sin... that it was probably a venial sin. He thinks I'm too hard on myself and that I'm very sensitive. I don't think I'm hard on myself but I agree that I am sensitive. It's funny, I'm sensitive about certain things but not every thing. :D Anyway, after Mass, and after Fr. James blessed my new rosary and scapular, we did a bunch of errands and were in the car for most of the afternoon. It really was too much traveling in the car. Oy! But, we got things done, which is important. :D

When we got home, I was about to watch the final Liverpool game of the season (it was aired as a delayed broadcast) against Tottenham. What a GAME! Dad and I were on the edge of our seats at the end. We kind of bagged on poor Voronin until he scored then we just said sorry. lol. I was super excited when Torres scored! 24 Premier League goals, 33 total in all competitions, in his first season in England! El Niño is on fire! While it's disappointing that we didn't win anything this season (and that we finished 4th in the League), I am excited about next season. Bummer that I'll have to wait until August, when I'll be moving. *le sigh* I will miss you, my beloved English Premier League (EPL). Well, at least I have the MLS and upcoming international games. :D Oh and how about a shou tout to the U.S. Women's National Team! They beat Canada's Women's team 6-0. Yes, you read that right... Six to Nil! You go girls! :D

Okay, now, I have a little dilemma... Je ne comprends pas le Français! I seriously need to better my French if I ever want to read "Pythagore, je t'adore" by Patrick Cauvin. Not just that, I need to learn it soon or else I am not going to understand NADA when I go to France! I understand quite a bit of French, and I definitely have the ability to say the basic words I can actually speak with the proper accent/pronunciation, but I am NOWHERE near where I'd like to be. Does anyone know of a good program that will be helpful? Don't even bother recommending Rosetta Stone, I heard it's overpriced (well, I know this for a fact) and that it's not as good as people think. Any suggestions, please feel free to leave me a comment! I'll have to investigate where I can learn French without it being too painful (or time consuming).

Alright, well, it's nearly 1 a.m. and I have another long, busy day... that starts in a few hours. *groan* So tired! Sorry for babbling on. I seem to be doing quite a bit of that lately, don't I? Sorry! :D As usual, thanks for reading and God Bless.
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