Online Inauthenticity and Temptations

This past week, I got the chance to research and write about the internet's patron saint, St. Isidore of Seville, for EpicPew. Why? Why not?! As someone who has a serious love-hate relationship with several online things (especially social media), I thought it would be good to learn a little more about who the patron was and why he was the patron saint. I won't reiterate what I wrote but you can definitely check it out here.

One thing that has really struck me lately is the lack of authenticity and how caught up in it we are without really realizing it. I'm not immune to it. I try to be as real and open as possible on this blog but that doesn't mean I don't also go with the - let's say - more flattering pictures posted on social media. Am I really that vain or is it just a fear of the judgment? I'd say it's fear of judgment but perhaps it's both... and it's made me uncomfortable either way.

I usually don't take selfies very often. The picture I had on Twitter before I changed it this week was nearly 3 years old and the new one was taken when I cut my hair two days ago. Still, it felt inauthentic to me. I tried to counteract that with a series of videos (to friends) on the topic on social media in which I wore no makeup and hadn't brushed my hair. I promise I didn't look like a complete mess but I felt a bit better. I normally don't wear makeup and I have my hair up and away from my face.

That incident made me think about how I'm getting increasingly uncomfortable online. Sure, it's been a sort-of lifeline for me since it's what I use to communicate with friends these days. We're all so hyper-connected that, if it's not said on social media, it probably won't be said at all.

I'm a social introvert; I need socializing as much as I need my own solo time to recharge my batteries. With my friends having moved away from L.A. and/or living across the globe (my best friend lives in Italy), it's hard to try to get everyone together, face-to-face. I went 8 months without seeing a single one of my friends, remember? Without the use of social media, I would have a lonelier existence... but I still hate it.

I hate that we rely on social media so much. I hate that it's increasingly difficult to get together with friends -- even those who live within reasonable driving distance. I hate that I hate the online world because it usually affects me much more than I'd like to admit.

I'm an HSP; I absorb people's feelings and moods very easily. Not only that, the feelings will linger for hours or even through the end of the day. The smallest amount of negativity will ruin my day. What's the internet and social media famous for? The infighting, even amongst us Catholics. It makes it hard for me to shake off the bummer mood. Why do you think I read and write so much? It provides distractions and keeps my mind busy when I've had enough of the internet.

I may (thankfully!) not have the temptation to look at pornography, to seek out fights, to troll people, to do anything damaging... but the temptation to live my life online and to fall into the trap of only sharing the "best" side of myself is still a temptation I struggle with.

A couple of months ago (side note: this post has been in the drafts box since the second week of January) I read an open letter to Benedictine oblates on the internet and social media (which is worth a read!) and I saw this prayer that I've personally written out for myself to use because, let's face, we all face temptations every time we get online.

"O God, who hast taught us to make use of the things of this life as if we used them not (1 Cor 7), grant me wisdom and discernment in my use of the tools of knowledge and communication, for the form of this world is passing away (ibid.). Set a watch, O Lord, before my mouth (Ps 140); preserve thou my mind from aimless curiosity; turn away my eyes from beholding vanity, and pierce thou my flesh with thy fear (Ps 118). Chasten thou all my discourse, lest any word of mine bring harm to me or to my neighbour. Make my heart like unto a fortified city, that filled with thy loving mercy, I may praise thee with pure lips: Holy, Holy, Holy, Lord God Almighty, who was, and is, and is to come (Apoc 4), who in perfect Trinity livest and reignest, throughout all ages of ages. Amen.

Holy Mary, Virgin most prudent, pray for us.
Ye holy Angels, save us from spiritual harm.
Holy Abbot Benedict, teach us silence.
Holy Doctor Isidore, keep us from falsehood.
All ye saints of God, intercede for us."

How about y'all? Do any of you feel like you're in the same or a similar boat? Has anyone found ways to combat all of this negativity we encounter online, especially social media? (side note: even limiting who I follow on social media doesn't always help). Is it possible to find a good balance between the online and offline worlds that lasts for more than a couple of days? If so, please let me know because I feel seriously burnt out these days.

Anyway, I hope y'all had a good work week and that you have a lovely weekend. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless! :D

A Thirst for the Eucharist

I haven't attended Mass or gone to confession is three weeks. Three. It's not that I haven't wanted to go. I've been sick (ranging from digestive issues to dizziness and in between) and/or haven't been able to drive to Mass because of the heat. (side note for you new readers: I have a hereditary sensitivity to the heat and will get close to fainting in temperatures over 84 if I'm not in the shade with water or in an air conditioned place. My car hasn't had working air conditioning since my car accident last October.)

I miss going to Mass. I miss going to confession. I even miss feeling physically close to my home parish. It doesn't help that I've had a slew of temptations thrown my way, some of which I didn't think I'd have deal with. It was a nice reminder that I'm not as strong as I thought I was and that I'm susceptible to unexpected (to me) yet very human weaknesses. No, I need God. Very badly.

I hadn't read yesterday's Mass readings before I emailed one of my best friends, telling him that I felt as if my soul thirsted for God. Sounds dramatic but that's how it's felt lately. The longer I am kept from attending Mass and receiving the Eucharist, the more my soul desires it. Nothing and no one can satisfy it. Nothing and no one appeals to me more than receiving the Eucharist these days.

It occasionally feels like a physical emptiness, like a gaping hole in the middle of my chest. It's almost like a spiritual drought, except I've felt very close to God in the last week or so. Maybe it's because I haven't been able to physically receive Him that I've felt this way; maybe I feel close to Him because He wants to remind me that He's still here, even when I struggling with temptations and have yet to go to confession. Perhaps this is why St. Catherine of Siena (patroness against temptations) has been in my life more than usual lately. Yes, I just put two and two together there; I didn't even realize it until I wrote it out.

I continue to mess up in little ways, most of the time without intention. My struggle with scrupulosity (yes, I have been known to occasionally struggle with this as well) will make me beat myself up over a couple of things. I'm grateful that my best friends will bring me back to reality and remind me that no one is perfect and even saints had to deal with certain things. Still, I have moments in which I go "oh, God... I try hard but I just can't do this." I need His help more often than not.

I feel like my relationship with His is growing due to everything that's been going on lately... yet I feel awful for missing Mass and for having little life hiccups along the way. I guess I need to remind myself to trust in Him and His mercy more often. I sometimes fear being justly punished more than remembering that the Sacrament of Reconciliation exists for a reason.

Anyway, these are just some of the thoughts that have been bouncing around in my mind lately. I'm not entire sure why I shared this other than I was just inspired to. I hope someone can get something out of it. :)

Alright, it's almost the end of electricity base hours and we want to conserve energy since it's going to be at least 110 degrees F in L.A. today so I should skedaddle. Please say a prayer for me if you can and please feel free to send me your prayer requests as well. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

What I Learned Wednesday #23: Married Men and Temptations Edition

This post was originally going to be a follow up to last week's Speedy Questions post but I've had a very interesting week (blog post title should give you hints) so I'll write about that instead. I think it's more important to share some things that I realize that some of y'all also go through but don't talk about. Some of you may be uncomfortable with the topics but I haven't seen them posted anywhere and I know I cannot be the only person who goes through these things.

1.) As a single young woman who knows her vocation but has yet to find that special fella, it's very easy to fall into different types of temptations. You guys know I'm notoriously private about my relationships and this part of my life but I need to share this. During the volunteer work I've been doing lately, I met a nice fella with whom I could easily talk to because our personalities and temperaments just click. He is (to a T) the kind of guy that I like (except for the "he's not Tom Hiddleston" part, lol). My mom likes him, his mom likes me... so what's the problem? He's married! I knew this beforehand because my mom told me a long time ago so I was cautious. I am not the type of person to break up a relationship (even if it's just dating) so I made sure I didn't do anything that would be inappropriate. The moment he said something that let me know there was interest on his side, I avoided the guy as much as I could. I don't know his wife but I respect his mother, myself, and the sanctity of marriage to put either of us into any further temptation.

I know some of you will get upset at me for saying that I avoided him because I did nothing wrong, but that's the thing -- I could easily fall into temptation myself. I'm not saying I would ever go there (I wouldn't) but why push my luck? I'm a human being and I make stupid mistakes all the time. Guys aren't one of them (hi, still single here, lol) but that's not to say that I'm not susceptible to it not happening to me. The devil is sneaky; he'll find a way to turn something innocent into a terrible temptation. And, for the record, yes, for a split second some thoughts did enter my mind but I quickly recognized them and knew that they were not the type of thoughts I would normally have. I said the prayer to St. Michael Archangel and then spoke to the priest in the confessional about it (it all happened on a Saturday).

2.) What I'm trying to get at with this example is that, we single young women (and men!) need to be very careful to avoid temptation. My temptation could've easily become letting him appeal to whatever vanity I have by letting him (inappropriately) compliment me and call me beautiful (which he did). My temptation could've been making excuses for his actions because of the attention I was getting. My temptation could've been letting him commit adultery in his heart by letting myself stick around. Again, some of you may have issues with the way I phrased that last sentence but it is what it is. I have as much responsibility as he does to help each other avoid any kind of temptation. And I know some of you have been there or have been on the other end. I've heard of friends who have had their spouses hit on by coworkers, etc. It's terrible. I've seen relationships and marriages broken up because of people who have either simply tempted someone to be unfaithful (though it never went far enough) or have flat out broken up relationships.

3.) I see so many young woman (and men, I see y'all on Twitter, too) lamenting being single and having a deep desire to have any sort of attention that they don't even realize what harm they could be doing to themselves and others. I have amazing guy friends, many of whom are married at this point as we're mostly between mid-late 20s to early 30s. I know and am friends with their wives. They have my back (and act like big brothers) and I have theirs. I love them all (platonically) but there's a fine line that cannot be crossed. Even if they're just dating, there's a fine line between friendship and flirting that is clearly drawn. If I feel like one of them is dangerously close to that line (and it has happened), I make sure my actions speak for themselves. I pull back and even cut off all contact from them if necessary. If they don't get it, I will spell it out for them as bluntly as I am able to with my Jane Bennet tendencies. As I like to say, "homegirl don't play that."

I hope this post didn't seem like I am full of conceit and think of myself as someone who can cause temptation 'cause I don't. In fact, I am actually surprised I had this happen to me. I actually wanted to ask the guy what he was smoking when he said I was beautiful but I opted to pretend that I hadn't heard him and I physically removed myself from where he was.

I wrote this post because I've seen and heard it happen to others and I just want some people to know that no amount of flattery is worth causing problems. Even the nicest person can have a moment of weakness and make a huge mistake. Like I said, temptation will present itself whenever it gets a chance so we must be on our guard. I am just grateful that I have amazing spiritual direction, great friends who pray for me (and I did let two friends know about my predicament as it happened) and that God has blessed me with a hyper awareness of things (except when single guys are flirting with me; I'm clueless then. lol).

Anyway, that's all for now. I am super behind on NaNoWriMo (volunteer work, errands, and illness -- grr!) and I want to get some work done before the CMAs. Go Hunter Hayes (even if I am not even sure he's nominated for anything. lol).

I hope y'all have had a great week thus far. :)

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

7 Quick Takes Vol. 7: Crummy Week Edition

-- 1 --

Guess who's finishing her novel tonight. ME!!! Finally! After years of work (on and off because of school, work, and familial responsibilities), it shall be done. I have to admit that I'm procrastinating on the final chapter. It's in my mind and I just need to write it down but I am reluctant to do so. I know I need to finish it as it represents one chapter of my life and I'm ready to move on to the next. Still, I am not ready. I will shed big crocodile tears. lol. I will write more about this soon.

-- 2 --

I applied to my top pick for my post-BA/pre-MA program at the end of last week but got everything sent in this week. Since I didn't major in SLP (Speech-Language Pathology), I need to do all the undergrad coursework before I can apply for the MA program. The school I applied to is out of state but they have a great online program (it comes highly recommended by those who have been in my shoes) so I am keeping my fingers crossed. As of today, they've received only one of my transcripts but I am sure they'll have everything by next week. Prayers please?

-- 3 -- 

It's been a stressful and busy week so I've been pretty M.I.A. from Twitter for that reason. Tons of work (though, funnily enough, one of the few non-stressful things in my life right now) has kept me occupied which is why I haven't blogged either. I'm hoping next week slows down a bit because I feel drained both physically and emotionally. Yup, it's been one of those weeks. I need tea and music. Stat!

-- 4 --

My faith was seriously challenged this week. Not in the "I don't believe this" way, but in the "what's more important?" way. There were serious temptations to place a greater importance on other things and I wasn't happy about it. When I did catch myself doing it, it was like my entire being rejected the temptation. Remember when you were little and you ate so much of something you loved... and then it made you sick? Kind of like that. I became angry at myself for allowing it to happen. I honestly felt like I was being suffocated and trapped (like a really bad panic attack for those of you who know what that feels like; like an elephant sitting on your chest) for a good two days afterward. Thankfully I'm back on track now but it was a hard couple of days.

-- 5--

I finished the St. Therese novena this past Monday night and I almost immediately received roses from her. On her feast day I saw a pink rose beginning to bloom where there were no other roses. I was talking to my mom about school (see #2) when it happened. I actually stopped dead in my tracks when I saw the rose and said "St. Therese?" I walked by the same area today but didn't see the rose I saw on Tuesday. Instead there were red and pink roses I hadn't seen earlier this week. *shrugs* I'm counting it as signs. ;)

-- 6 --

Okay, this is sort of "grumpy" topic but I need to say this. I am not comfortable with the level of familiarity and downright disrespect some people (especially men) are displaying with me both online and offline. People with whom I've talked to maybe once or twice online (in brief messages, no less) or have never spoken to in person seem to feel like they have a right to speak to me as if they have authority over me. Others treat me like I'm a child who doesn't know better. I have to ask: why? Why the amount of disrespect? Why are you meddling in my business... and on things I don't even discuss? I like to think that I behave and carry myself in a manner that says "I'm friendly but don't cross any boundaries." So, please... be kind. I was already stressed out so this level of rudeness is really making me a real grump.

--7 --

If anyone else is having a crummy week, I hope this .gif makes you smile. :)

'Til next time, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

Mean Girls and "Girl World"

When I first watched the movie Mean Girls, I'll admit I laughed out loud. While it may (at first) seem like an exaggerated version of "girl world", I've come to find that not only is it tame compared to the stuff a majority of us women go through (even as adults) but it's actually dead on underneath the humor. Trust me on this, I've lived through MUCH worse thanks to the cattiness and constant "power struggle" within the so-called girl world.

It wasn't until I found myself some really amazing girlfriends (a majority devout Christians of various denominations and Catholics) that I realized that it was possible to never set foot into the scary "girl world" that is alive and well in most parts of the world. So called Queen Bees are truly scary. Heck, I'll be 25 on Sunday and they still scare me. lol. While I can certainly defend myself, I often choose to simply turn the other cheek. It's much easier and more Christian than plotting my revenge against. Plus, I avoid drama like the plague; I absolutely loathe it. Things had been good for me for the past couple of years until someone pulled me (whether she meant to or not) back into the girl world I try so hard to avoid. If you haven't guessed it, a guy is (of course) at the center of this "fight."

I normally don't talk about my romantic relationships because I feel like it's just between the person I'm dating (or interested in) and myself. I'm still not saying much but I feel like this needs to be said because I haven't really seen this discussed in young women's blogs (at least not the Catholic ones.)

Why is it that when two young women are interested in the same guy, there is sudden competition? Not only that, some get downright vindictive if they feel you're threatening to take men's attention from her. Why? I don't get it. It's definitely worse when two girls are after the same guy. Usually they try to "one-up" each other, making themselves seem like the perfect girl to the guy and trashing the other in the process. It's absolutely sickening... and I refuse to ever take part in that sort of thing. If you think Christian women are saved, you are wrong my friends. Some so-called Christian women do things more... how can I say this?... sneakily? Is that even a word? Well, anyway, I've seen these women use theology and Christianity to get ahead in the "competition." Really? Seriously? How low can we go, ladies? Using God to get a guy to like you? Lord help us all! Not only that, the more we get into these "fights" and "competitions" the happier you're making the evil one. Is that what you really want?

Of course I don't think I have to remind y'all that not only is this type of thing just insane but it's actually extremely sinful. I can think of at least one big mortal sin that you commit while doing this. We definitely get tempted to do a lot of really stupid things just to "win" the guy. And, unfortunately, not many stop to think about what they're doing until it's way too late and the drama has erupted into a full on war. I am woman enough to admit that I've often been tempted to also "step up my game" when I've seen a girl trying to win over my crush by force (oh the tactics I can list...) but I've managed to do well thus far.

Like I said in my Friendship and Jealousy post, I firmly believe that what is meant to happen will happen. Lately, I've allowed my "competition" to do as she pleases -- doing things I'd never do to get a guy to like me -- because I know that if it's meant to be it will be. I am not going to stress myself over this. If the guy falls for the tricks he's being played, not my fault. I'm not going to say anything because that's her deal with him. Just like I don't like people butting into my affairs (trying to have a say in the outcome of it just because they can't resist), I am not going to mess with the other girl's deal. To me, it's not worth it. I'm going to be myself and if the guy doesn't realize who I am and what I can bring to the relationship, it's not my fault. I refuse to throw myself at him. I refuse to change myself for him. I refuse to enter "girl world" drama for anything, especially a guy. I'm just going to leave it up to God and, if necessary, ask St. Raymond Nonnatus (patron against gossip) or St. Margaret of Cortona for their intercession because I can only handle so much. If you feel yourself getting tempted by these or any temptations, feel free to ask St. Michael the Archangel, St. Benedict of Nursia, or St. Catherine of Siena for their intercessions -- I have great faith in them, especially since they are some of the patrons against temptations. :)

Alright, my dears, I will now focus on school. I've been wasting too much time online and I think all these happenings are a sign that I should get offline more often and focus on my finals. I think I'm getting to complacent -- I know I can finish all the work quickly so I procrastinate. I will try to update soon but don't be surprised if I don't until after Sunday. It is, after all, a big weekend for me. :D

I hope everyone is well and that all you lovely young ladies are having it easier than I have/am at the moment. :)

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless.

Getting Ready for Holy Week

Confession? Check. Homework done? Nearly Check; I have one more class to finish. (Side note: Finally!!! I'm even ahead of schedule in some courses.) Books that will help me stay on track during Holy Week? Check. All systems are good to go.

As I wrote yesterday, I had to put some thought into what I needed to do to ease the temptations I kept getting getting. One was easier than I thought (thank God for that!) and other was pretty hard because it meant saying goodbye to an old friend. In the long run, it was the best decision I could've made... but it's going to be hard. As long as I do what is right, I'll be okay. Thankfully it was clean break and there was no drama involved, which will hopefully make the transition smoother. I'm not just looking for easy, but you have to agree that it's quite preferable to chaos.

Going to confession was just what I needed. It gave me a chance to really thinks thoroughly as well as ask God for His help during this time. I also got a chance to pray both the Rosary and the Chaplet of the Divine Mercy while I waited to be picked up. Since my mom is in Mexico, I had my transportation service pick me up and drop me back home.

I think I'm ready for Holy Week. I have the schedule of Mass times (many of which I will have to go by myself since they are in the morning when my mom works.) I have eliminated the sources of my temptations. To quote Spongebob Squarepants "I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready!" lol. What is everyone doing for Holy Week? I'm always interesting to hear what others do, because it's different according to the cultural traditions one grew up with.

Alright, I need to finish cleaning up around my casa. Rebecca from Modestia is coming over for a girls night in movie marathon. One of the stipulations for my staying behind in L.A. while my mom went to Mexico was that I had to have a (girl) friend stay overnight; it would ease my mother's mind. Yes, even though her daughter is an adult, she still worries. At least I'll be in good company. :D

I hope everyone has a great weekend. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless!

Still Fighting Temptations

This Lent has been HARD for me because I've been fighting all kinds of temptations to do really stupid things. Of course, I think that because it is Lent I am having a really hard time. You-know-who is trying hiss hardest to make me slip, and I almost have a couple of times. I haven't experienced this during Lent... or in a long time, really. I'm usually cautious but I've had really bad urges to do some reckless things. It's very unlike myself. A big reason why I have been trying to focus on my schoolwork (to the point where it consumes a majority of my time) is because it'll distract my mind from wandering elsewhere. I have also been trying to work on the novel and baking different kinds of goods I've never tried to make in attempt to thwart any urges that may come. It's all really frustrating!

I haven't really asked St. Michael the Archangel for many intercessions (just twice, if memory serves me right) but I think I may have to because this is all getting ridiculous. I refuse to let these things alter my life. If anyone can spare a prayer intention, I'd appreciate it. I'm going really nuts here. I can't even imagine how bad my confession this week will be. *shudders*

Anyone else having a hard Lent or am I only one? Maybe there should be some sort of support group during this time of the year -- just to make sure none of us slip in a banana peel placed by the enemy.

Alright, I'm going to try to figure out what to do. :-/

Until next time, thanks for reading and God Bless!

These Darn Temptations

I have been tempted to do a lot of really stupid things lately. I can't even remember the last time I had these kinds of temptations either. The closest thing was probably a couple years ago, which I think I wrote about in one of the earliest blog posts. I am not quite sure how or why I am getting these sort of feelings but I am. It's taking a lot of will power to not give into these things, but I've slipped once or twice. Some of the temptations aren't actually that bad; venial sins at most because I sometimes don't realize what I'm saying or doing until it's too late. Others are really, really, really bad. I can justify them and make them not seem bad but deep down, I know it's really, really, really bad. The kind that both disgust me and make me want to ask St. Michael the Archangel to help me out because I don't want to submit to that kind of temptation. I'm sorry for the vagueness but I don't want to say what some of these temptations are. I will say that some are like little white lies, which I hate because I loathe lying. Other things are little hiccups of not so nice words (not exactly curse words but getting there). Like I said, I'll slip but I immediately feel really bad.

I was just wondering what you guys did when you get tempted to do or say something that is horrible. I don't get tempted to do stupid things that easily (I could give you a list of names of people who've tried to get me to do everything from doing illegal things to throwing away my purity like it was nothing special) but the enemy is really working hard to get me to slip. Is it because it'll amuse the enemy more if I slip during Lent? Is it because I've had a pretty clean slate and can go weeks without confessing anything? I don't know... all I know is that I have got to find a way to get rid of these darn things because they're bugging the living daylights out of me.

Btw, speaking of temptations, please know that if for some reason you slip (and don't do it consciously saying "well, I can confess it this weekend"), you can always ask God for forgiveness and go to confession. There is no better time to go to confession than during Lent. I go weekly (or twice a month) even if all I have to confess is one tiny little venial sin. Priests tell me I'm too hard on myself but I can't help it. I want my conscience clean, okay? lol.

Alright, I should try to get everything done before I can have some free time. Free time... I hardly knew ye. lol. :)

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless.

Romantic Temptations; Baby!

I was thinking about something last night while I tried (unsuccessfully) to fall asleep. I came to the realization that I've had many temptations put in front of me in the past couple of weeks -- more so in the last week. I'll be completely honest -- it's taken A LOT of inner strength and will power not to fall for them. Most of them are centered around one particular subject: Love and Relationships.

In front of me has been placed a handsome young man who is successful, monetarily well off, charismatic, talented, and (on paper) is someone those close to me would like to see me end up with. If I were incredibly shallow and wrote down everything I looked for in a guy (solely based on looks) he'd probably be as close to being my "perfect guy" as anyone could get. He and I have a lot in common as well (down to our birthdays being so close, we could probably have a joint party if we wanted to). I did everything I could to not fall for his charm for the past 3-4 years but lately he's been more charming and more appealing than usual and it's gotten to me -- but not entirely. As I said, on paper he seems like the right guy but when you get past all of that, it's not so good. If I were to give into the temptation of ever having some sort of relationship with him, I would have even more temptations to deal with. To quote a Jamie Cullum song, he "can't even separate love from lust." He's very physical and I am not at all. I'm a hug machine but there's where it ends. lol. Trust me, many guys have tried to see how far they could push me and all have failed because I don't let them pressure/bully me into anything. He also has some vices that will eventually catch up with him and that's a scary thought. As much as I like his personality (his sense of humor almost mirrors mine and we have similar temperaments), I don't like the extra stuff. All of this got me thinking about something. A lot of things that aren't good for you are usually presented to you in a pretty package.

He has to be one of the most handsome men I've ever seen (so much so that I think to myself "Why on earth would he ever look at someone like me?"), but it's all a façade. Underneath his good looks and his charisma is someone who is in some serious trouble. He's strayed so far, it would take a lot of get him back to where he should be. I bet many of you young women have encountered a guy like this at one point or another in your lives. It makes me sad to think about him like this, but that's the reality of it. I'm glad that I've been able to recognize all of this because it makes fighting off the temptation even easier. I still have moments where it seems so easy to stray "just a little..." but even that thought is dangerous to have. I am lucky enough to be able to snap out of it quickly. To allow yourself to "test" yourself around the temptation is dangerous (have I used that word enough?). Thankfully, I've had enough experiences with romantic temptations to know what my limits are and what to do when I am in these situations. I wonder if this is why St. Benedict of Nursia has been popping up in my dreams so often lately. After all, he's one of the patron saints against temptations.

You guys have no need to worry about me in regards to giving into these kinds of temptations. I've already resolved that if any man wants to have a relationship with me, he must have one with God first. My claddagh promise ring will stay on my ring finger until it's replaced with a ring from a guy worthy of a place in my heart. I just wanted to share this with y'all so that you guys know that you're not alone when it comes to these things. Moving on and away from such a heavy topic...

Can I say just how EXCITED I am that my friend Melissa is pregnant with her first child?! Of course, I was the last to find out because I've stunk at keeping up with everyone on Facebook lately. lol. Still, I'm so happy for her. :D She was my best friend when she still lived here in Southern California. I still remember the last time we hung out, the weekend before she got married. I miss her terribly! She's such a great girl! When my paternal grandmother passed away, she was the only one who knew and didn't tell me (at the request of my mother who wanted to be the one to break it to me). When she found out I was told, she drove to my favorite diner, bought me my favorite cookies, and brought them over with a movie and a card. I was incredibly grateful towards her for it. Another friend like her, you won't find. Anyway, congrats to her and her husband! :D

Oh, and while I'm in a celebrating mood... LIVERPOOL WON! Oh, Fernando Torres, you are a BEAUTIFUL man! lol. I think I screamed REALLY loudly when he scored the winning goal. Haha. Though I don't mention my love of Liverpool F.C. as much as I did when I first started my blog, it doesn't mean I still don't love them. :D And on that happy note, I will conclude my post. :D I am going to chat with my little sister Delaney for a little while. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless.

P.S. Yes, that was me Rebecca was talking about in her blog. I am hopeless when it comes to shopping for dresses. Haha! :D