Saturday, January 20, 2018
Incredible Novena Results and an Overall Update
These past two weeks have been draining but also very promising. The plans, for now, are to eat well, exercise more, and to reduce stress by eliminating or learning to cope with my biggest stressors. School is done so that is one massive stressful thing out of my life. Work, which is currently consisting of writing for Epic Pew, isn't causing any stress. However, I did have to tackle a big, life-long issue that was my biggest source of stress for several years.
Without going into too much detail, I was on a steady "diet" constant pressure and emotional manipulation for years. I got the courage to speak to the person who was causing it two weeks ago. They said that they didn't realize what they were doing (and I'm choosing to believe that based on what a number of psychologists and therapists have said about this person) and promised to make an effort to do their best to stop. It was an emotionally-charged two-hour conversation in which I got out all my grievances and all the hurt this person has caused throughout most of my life. While this person still occasionally slips (old habits die hard), they are making a conscious effort to make sure they're no longer contributing to what has hurt me for so long. I have already seen an improvement in both my relationship with this person.
This big breakthrough came after doing both the 54-day Rosary novena (late last year) and the Immaculate Heart of Mary novena at the beginning of this year. I had this particular intention for both novenas because God showed me that this was one of the biggest things I needed to work on in order to get healthier on all levels. I mean, I didn't just do it for my benefit. Nonetheless, it's an incredible result from the novenas, one that I will forever be grateful to God for! Now that this is no longer a big issue, the next one to tackle is getting me physically and spiritually healthier in order to make the other personal goals more attainable.
I've been doing this "screens off" experiment for over a week now and it's the best decision I have made this year (so far). I turn off most screens (except Kindle) at 8 p.m. and they don't get turned on again until I'm ready to start the day. I set my alarm for 7:30 p.m. to give myself a half-hour warning to finish up whatever needs to be done before my laptop, iPod touch, and smartphone are shut off for the day. I put on orange-tinted goggles that cut the blue light that suppresses melatonin production until I'm ready to go to sleep. I turn on my Kindle and I read fiction books (fiction is the only genre which doesn't keep me up) until I'm ready to fall asleep... if I don't fall asleep before I can shut the Kindle off. I've successfully managed to get to bed early. I've been waking up more refreshed and my energy lasts a bit longer.
As for what's going on in my spiritual life, a lot and not so much. I was lucky to get to pray in front of the tabernacle earlier this week... and it seemed to trigger something because it seems that I have been spiritually attacked every day since. I'm doing two new novenas at the moment -- one to St. Anne and another to St. Francis de Sales -- which seem to also be triggering some spiritual attacks... which means I'm on the right track when it comes to at least one of the novena intentions. I've kept up with the daily Mass readings, the Rosary, the Little Office, and the novenas.
That's pretty much what's going on with me -- a lot and yet not a whole lot. I'm taking things one day at a time to keep my stress levels down. My mom got me this really lovely jigsaw puzzle of a cottage next to a river in a forest which is my ideal place for a retreat or a vacation to help me escape from mental stress. I've cut back on my social media use, which is being helped by my "screens off" experiment. I've been spending more time in silence and learning to take better care of myself.
Basically, I'm allowing myself to take a break from everything so that I can recuperate. It's often hard because being inactive and not being on the constant "go go go" is a foreign concept to me but that's what got me here in the first place so I need to do this. I won't allow anyone to shame me into "being lazy" (as some people call it) because this seems to be what is best for me... and something that seems to be in God's plans for me. I've abandoned myself to doing His will, remember? I won't fight this.
I'm going to end this blog here and try to stay relaxed,
I hope y'all have a lovely weekend!
As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D