Childhood Memories of Faith

Taken by me from the pews of my childhood parish.

While I wait for my downstairs neighbors to quit making noise (so I can study; file this under "apartment resident problems"), I thought I'd share something that came to mind while I was praying the Rosary a couple of days ago.

Does anyone remember what their faith was like when you were a child? Did you pray with your family? Did you pray before going to sleep? How about praying before and/or after every meal? How was your attention span during Mass? I'm so very curious as to how others experienced their faith as a child.

As for me, we (Mom and I have) have joked about how I "born to be a Catholic." Some of my earliest memories include being completely transfixed on the priest and what he did during the Liturgy of the Eucharist, especially during the consecration. I remember little 6-7-year-old me in the front pew (I always wanted to be in the front), eyes glued to the priest and what was going on at the altar. I didn't understand what was going on but I knew it was important. I think I even used to sigh happily during it. I knew it was about Jesus but didn't know much beyond that. Did I mention I was about 6 or 7? No one had told me about what happened during Mass. I knew the prayers because my parents taught them to me and I knew little things but nothing deeper than that, of course. I know my little mind wouldn't have been able to grasp the concept as much as I did when I reverted. Still, I loved going to Mass as a child.

I used to say that I wanted to be a nun when I grew up. I think I was particularly attracted to the Carmelite nuns. Those memories are a little fuzzy but I remember that I loved their habits and used to say "I'm going to be a nun when I grow up." Obviously, that didn't happen though St. Teresa of Avila was one of the first saints I admired when I returned to the Church as a 21-year-old.

I also remember that I once called a Catholic company that used to send free crosses to any child who was in catechism and wanted one. I don't remember what their name was (all I remember is that they were based in Maryland around 1993) but I remember how excited I was when it arrived. It was a small, white plastic cross that read "I love Jesus" in golden letters. I took it to school with me, unashamed of my love of my faith. I think I was about 8 around this time since I was in catechism to make my First Communion (which took place in 1994, a couple of days before I turned 9).

My parents taped a holy card of a Guardian Angel helping a child cross a river on the headboard of my bed so I was the first and last thing I saw. I also remember being completely scared of a picture my parents had in my room of two roads -- one leading to Heaven and another leading to Hell. The Hell part scared the crumbs out of me and I hated it. I must've been about 5 years old (yes, I have memories that young) and I think that scarred me a little. lol.

I also remember that I was basically on my own when it came to my faith. My parents took me to Mass sporadically growing up. I went nearly every Sunday (I think) while I was in catechism classes but as soon as my First Communion and then Confirmation (which happened when I was 13 years-old) were celebrated, they felt like it was enough. In fact, that was part of the reason why I unintentionally/unofficially left the Church during my teens until I was 21.

Sometimes I wonder what would've happened if my parents had had a stronger relationship with God. Would I have never left the Church? I won't lament it. I know that both of my parents were also poorly catechized and that both were away from the Church for decades. My father went 40+ years without going to confession or receiving the Eucharist (his return was my 24th birthday gift two months before he passed away) and my mother returned shortly before his death as well. I'm grateful that God has used me to help get them back -- especially my father; my biggest fear was that he would pass without returning to the Church -- and that, through the help of the Holy Spirit, I'm still able to clarify a few faith-related things to my mom. Our theological conversations make me happy and have increased over the years.

I also oftentimes think about how I will want to raise my future children (if God blesses me with any). I know that I want them to develop their relationship with God as soon as they can understand it. Of course, I'll take them to Mass and I'll teach them prayers as they're growing up. Since I didn't experience any prayers before or after meals (until a few years ago when I started doing it on my own) or even with my family (I can't recall ever praying with my parents outside of Mass), I know it'll be a huge learning experience for me but I look forward to it.

Oh! One more question: if you grew up with a strong sense of the faith and if your parents were religious, do you think it helped (or didn't help) your own faith formation growing up? I'm very curious and would love to hear any stories you may like to share. :D

Alright, it sounds like my neighbors have lowered down the noise level enough for me to be able to concentrate on some lecture videos. I have two exams next week and I need ALL the study time I can get. And prayers, if you can spare them. Please and thank you in advance. :)

I hope y'all are having a lovely start of week thus far!

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

Our Lady of Guadalupe, My Family, and the '94 Northridge Earthquake

I took this picture a couple of years ago at my childhood parish around her feast day. :)

If you've been reader of this blog from the beginning, you may remember me mentioning this before but I am going to write a longer, more detailed version of this story. It's the feast day of Our Lady of Guadalupe so I think it's the appropriate day to do so.

My love of Our Lady started from a young age. I don't exactly remember how old I was but my parents saw the connection I had to her. I loved her and apparently I understood that she loved me before I even reached the age of reason. After a particularly curious event (which shall have to remain unknown to my readers for now; sorry), my parents decided to hang a picture of her in my room. I felt happy and at peace having her image in my room... and little did I know that the picture (and, really, Our Lady) would get me through the most terrifying event of my childhood.

I was 8 years old when the 1994 Northridge Earthquake occurred. I still remember every detail of it, even though it happened 20 years ago (next month). I remember my dad picking me up from the bed as the entire apartment shook violently. I remember being terrified as I'd never lived (and haven't since) such a powerful earthquake before. My parents and I were huddled in the middle of the apartment, under the door frames of the two bedrooms, holding onto the walls for support (and both holding onto me) because we were being thrown around with the shaking. It became pitch black before the worst of the shaking ended... but, before all the lights went out, I remember that both Our Lady and St. Jude brought comfort to us.

Almost everything was thrown off the walls and broken... except the huge framed picture of Our Lady in my room (where it still hangs to this day). Whilst everything around the room was on the floor (including other hanged photos), her picture stayed where it was, as if nothing had happened. (side note: the St. Jude statues in my room fell, but didn't break, until all three of us were safely under the door frames... and they should've been the first to fall as they are the most vulnerable to falling and breaking where they were placed.)

I was taking classes for my First Communion when this happened. My classroom at the parish was on the second floor and the entire floor (floor; not walls) collapsed. We ended up finishing up our classes in a neighboring parish and we actually did our First Communion in a huge tent that was set up in the parking lot since the parish was unsafe to use. (Earthquake happened in January and I did my First Communion that May). Despite the setback, we were still able to celebrate the occasion. Nothing -- not even a natural disaster -- would stop us from receiving such a wonderful sacrament.

I look back at what happened and how the picture stayed where it was and think about how it seems to have been a precursor to what was to come. I have had so many things jostle me around but my faith stays intact. Even though I was away from the Church from my teens through the age of 21 (and I actually reverted less than a month after my 21st birthday), I still managed to come back. My faith has gotten me through the hardest "shake up" of my life -- losing my father 4 years ago -- and still, I feel like Our Lady has stood beside me, holding my hand through it all.

It's funny how I've had such a "stormy" relationship with Our Lady for years. From my teens through about a year or so ago, I didn't feel particularly close to her because I didn't feel worthy enough to call her my Mother. I felt like I had failed her in so many ways -- especially when she interceded for me and I couldn't thank her in ways I wanted (and promised) to. I used to think to myself "how can she love me when I haven't been a good daughter?" It took me a long time to realize that she loves me despite how many times I may fail; and an even longer time to shake that feeling of not being worthy. I still don't think I am (and that could still be works of the Enemy as he hates Our Lady since she represents everything that is good and everything that he doesn't want for mankind) but knowing that she's with me (and intercedes for me) when I need her has been a great comfort in recent years.

So, that's my story. Sorry for the length but this was a post that was overdue!

Anyway, I hope you all had a wonderful feast day. For those of you who were lucky enough to attend a Mass, I hope your hearts were filled with as much love and joy as humanly possible. :)

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

What I Learned Wednesday #24: End of Year of Faith Edition

1) Looking back on the Year of Faith, I feel like I can personally call it a success as I learned quite a bit about the Faith. However, I was sad to see how many people began the year excited and how almost everyone seemed to ignore it at the end. Maybe it's just my group of friends (online and offline) but I didn't see many people reflect or even given a hoot about the end of the Year of Faith. Why is that? Okay, I totally dropped the ball more than once on my What I Learned Wednesday posts but I still tried. And, okay, I also didn't finish reading the Catechism but I'm still reading it at the moment. That is a goal that I still have time for (giving myself until the last day of the year). The main thing is that I tried from start to finish. I think the effort is what counts. My curiosity and love of learning new things was definitely awakened this year and it's just going to continue. So, hooray Year of Faith!

2) I also recently noticed that I have received 5 of the Seven Sacraments. Here's my list:
a) Baptism: September 1st, 1985.
b) Holy Communion/Eucharist: May 21, 1994 (First Communion). I try to receive Eucharist as frequently as possible.
c) Reconciliation/Confession: Approx. April 1994 (first). I still go at least once every two weeks when I'm not sick. 
d) Confirmation: November 22, 1998.
e) Marriage: TBD.
f) Holy Orders: The one I'll never receive.
g) Anointing of the Sick: May 10, 2013.

I obviously won't receive Holy Orders but, God willing, I will receive the 6th and last Sacrament (Marriage) at some point in my lifetime. I think this is pretty cool.

3) Who didn't see the MSM's shoddy reporting on Pope Francis' Evangelii Gaudium coming? Y'all (MSM) are so predictable. Mom and I watched Spanish language news yesterday (as I get enough of the English language news online) and it was pretty much the same thing. "*gasp* Pope Francis declares war on materialism!" "Pope Francis is implementing new changes that will rock the Church, only at 6 p.m.!" I think mom and I become Statler and Waldorf whenever any new report on the Catholic Church comes on because it's always so cringe worthy. You don't do your jobs, news reporters. You try to lie to the audience on the actual facts. We get it. Yawn. I'm actually going to read the Spanish-language version of Evangelii Gaudium (thank you, mom and dad, for raising me bilingual) because I heard Pope Francis originally wrote it in Spanish. That and I've heard people complain that the English version is a poor translation. *shrugs* I'll keep y'all posted on that.

Anyway, that's it for now. I am almost caught up on NaNoWriMo (I should be at 45,000 words today and I'm currently at 44,862) so I'm going to do that tonight. I hope to finish the required 50,000 words by Friday. It's doable since I average 4,000 words per day and my record has been 7,000 words in a single night. And to think that some of y'all called me a quitter! ;)

I hope y'all have a wonderfully blessed Thanksgiving Day! I am definitely thankful for each and every one of you who are sharing this journey with me. ;)

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

Nomination Badge; First Communion Story; Dad Update.

This badge pretty much says it all. lol. Again, don't know if I exactly qualify for this but thank you. :D A few of my friends are nominated... I nominated a couple of people... other awesome blogs are nominated. I'd highly recommend checking out the entire list of nominees. I've found some new friends and blogs to follow, and vice versa, thanks to the list. I love how the world of Catholic bloggers is getting smaller and smaller. I'm surprised no one's formed a union yet... even if it's for kicks and giggles.

I don't know if you've heard or not, but First Communion Stories is having a contest. All you have to do is share your real life communion story by May 31st. Even if they weren't having a contest, I would submit my first communion story because I had a beautiful first communion. Without going into a lot of detail (I am saving that for my entry), I had a pretty unique first communion. We had the service inside a large tent because our parish was destroyed during the 1994 Northridge Earthquake. In fact, we had our Masses inside that tent until our parish was rebuilt. We also had to finish our first communion classes at a neighboring parish that wasn't as damaged as ours was. Anyway, despite everything, we had a beautiful Mass that filled us all with love, joy, and every wonderful emotion you can feel during a Mass. I will write the story, in detail and with pictures, and submit it to First Communion Stories soon. I'll let y'all know when so y'all can go read it. :)

Before I go, I want to give y'all a little update on my dad. First off, I want to say a big "THANK YOU" to all of you who have had him in your prayers. I appreciate it, from the bottom of my heart. As some of you know, I'm been trying to get him to go to the doctor's for weeks. I have resumed my role as "caretaker" while he is sick. As a good friend pointed out, this could be my vocation (taking care of the sick) but I'm squeamish and hate the sight of blood and open wounds so it would never work out as a career. lol. I'm only that way with strangers, though. If I need to take care of a family member or friend, I can stomach things easier... I don't know why. Anyway, since I couldn't convince him on my own, mom and I teamed up and finally convinced him last night. Thank you, God! So now I have to make sure he follows through with the visits. I am also praying that his cancer hasn't come back and that it's just liver problems (which could be "fixed" much easier). I have a feeling I won't be able to go to tomorrow's Mass at St. Victor's because I take the "night shift" when my dad's sick and mom has to work the next morning. I've already canceled many plans I had. We'll see though. I'm not going to alter any of my long term plans, though. If, when the time comes, it looks like I'll have to take another semester off to take care of dad, I will. It does bum me out that it's taken me 6 years (on and off) to finish my degree but my dad's more important than a diploma.

Anyway, I'm gonna go. I'm starting to feel a lot of pain, so I'm going to go take two Advils and take a nap before my "shift" begins. :)

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :)
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