Written Wednesday #5: Thursday Edition

Um... oops. I'm a day late but I have a good excuse: I've been busier than usual. I'm actually slightly behind on a couple of things; it's been so crazy hectic.

I'm in currently in a season of life when I have more on my plate than I have time for. God has blessed me with more work but sometimes the work and the deadlines are short notice with an even shorter turnaround time. All of that stresses me out because it messes up my schedule. That's the nature of the freelance work, I'm afraid. I'm learning how to deal with the stress of having to modify plans on such short notice and with a lot on my plate, which I know I'll need to get used to if and when God blesses me with a family.

After helping take care of my father those 7 years between his initial cancer diagnosis and his death, I feel as if God gave me some time to really get to know myself and have a little bit of selfish independence. I was 17 through 24 years old when my father had cancer and a lot of that time was spent helping him, especially towards the end. Then I had a couple of years to focus on degrees and career paths that led me to where I am now. Now I feel like God is preparing me for whatever is coming next. It's exciting... and a bit of work because it means challenges that take me out of my comfort zone and undoing years worth of habits and routines I'd fallen into. I know it's all for the best so I welcome them... and all the naps I can manage to smuggle in on particularly exhausting days. lol.

Because of the lack of time, I dropped the ball reminding people of day 12 of the 54-day Rosary novena (we're on day 15 today!) and now I'm a day late on the blog post. Oh well. The important thing is I'm catching up now so... here we are. Verso l'alto, right?

Although I've been busy with work, only two articles were published this past week. (reminder: I have no say on what is published when but I share what is published during that particular week.)

For EpicPew:

• How to Avoid Being a Victim of Cuffing Season, Catholic Edition (November 14, 2018)

For Verily Magazine:

• Tips to Feel Less Stagnant If You're Single & Longing for Marriage (November 8, 2018)

And that is it for now. I have two new articles I write, a third article to edit, the third novel to edit, and other things to do. I hope to blog about something wonderful that happened the last time I attended a low Mass (I'm attending only Latin Masses nowadays) in the near future. It has a lot to do with what's been going on with me lately. That's all I'm saying! 😉

I hope you're all having a lovely week thus far! 😊

As always, thank you for reading and God bless! 😊

God's Plans for Me and Written Wednesdays #1

A couple of big things happened to me recently, most life-changing.

First, I got to help on a project for a huge Catholic ministry/company. I don't think I'm allowed to say who it was for (and I know, for sure, that I can't say what it was on) but let's just say I proofread a manuscript for a very well known Catholic author/speaker. It was my first experience as a proofreader and I was a bit intimidated since I didn't know what to do. Still, I mustered up the courage I had and I dove right in. I loved the experience and I hope it opens up new doors for future projects either with this company or other companies. Also, I will be recommending the book to friends when it gets published because it was that good.

Second, I started on another major project but this one is a lot more personal and it will take some time to complete. I'm almost two weeks into it and I'm nowhere near being done. Long story short, I was fortunate enough to catch up with someone whom I highly respect; someone who has been there for me -- mentoring me when they can -- for years. Sure, we will sometimes catch up via social media but it's always good to really catch up either in person or through a phone call since it's easier than just via messages. 

During our time catching up, I believe the Holy Spirit used him to get some very clear messages across to me; things I didn't particularly want to hear but most definitely needed to hear. And, if I'm being completely honest, things that were way overdue; things I should've dealt with a long time ago. It was one of those wake-up calls that feels like you've just been waiting for it. Does that make sense? For months, I've felt like God has been preparing for something major but I haven't exactly known what or how. I had an inkling what area of my life it would involve but I wasn't sure if it was just wishful thinking. I got a much clearer "this is part of my plans for you" message from God with this conversation. What I've embarked on since this conversation took place will only help me get what I feel God is ultimately leading me towards.

I currently can't openly talk about it because this feels like something that God wants me to do -- to experience -- and see through before I can share it with everyone else. I will share it someday when I feel like I've finally reached the destination God is pushing (a very reluctant) me towards... but it's not the time yet. I will just bookmark this blog post for future reference. All I will say is that it's going to be a very exciting time in my life; one I've been waiting a very long time to finally reach (when God thinks I'm finally ready to get to that point). How's that for vague, eh? lol. And if you've noticed a recent change, yes, that's very much the direction things are headed in. Good eye!

All I'm going to ask is that you all keep me in your prayers. There are various components that need to fall into place for it to work. I'm doing my part (and it's a major overhaul on my part; you'll know all about it when the time come) but there's only so much I can do. All of this is going to require me to trust God in a way I never have before; to abandon myself to his Divine Providence and follow His lead. As I said, I'm doing my part but it feels like a team effort with God has the (obvious) leader. I'm just following Him and I look forward to seeing where His love and will takes me.

Before I close this blog post, I wanted to share something new I want to do; it's called "Written Wednesdays." Basically, I'm going to share what I've written in the past week that's been published around the 'net since some of you don't have social media (shocking, I know, lol) and still, want to read articles of mine that get published.

Articles published in the last month (will become weekly after this post):

EpicPew:

• 20 Perfect Pick-Up Lines You Should Try
• The Scoop on the Spectacular Tears of St. Lawrence Meteor Shower 
• The Sackcloth and Ashes Campaign is Growing Fast
• Discover Your Temperament's Spiritual Gifts and Weaknesses with This New Quiz
• Every Student Should Know These Patron Saints 

CatholicChemistry: 

• 5 Relationship Novenas (August 22, 2018)
• Make the Most of the Single Season Like These 3 Jane Austen Heroines (September 5, 2018)

And that's it for now. I have a lot still do (have I mentioned that this big project takes up most of my day, most days?) and I want to get to it before I call it a night. I'm trying to use the laptop and social media as little as possible these days so once the laptop runs out of juice, that's it until tomorrow. :)

I hope you're all having a lovely week thus far!

As always, thank you for reading and God bless!  :D

Surprise! I'm A New Contributing Writer For...

Gather 'round, everyone. It's story time! (side note: Yes, I promise this will all lead to me telling you where my new writing gig is along with the link to my first article for them.)

Once upon a time, in the not-so-magical land of Los Angeles, CA, lived a young woman named Melissa (nicknamed Emmy by all who knew her). From a young age, Emmy loved writing. She loved it so much, her best friend growing up gave her the gift of more notebooks and pens (which she quickly went through) for every birthday. This was her gift until the age of 18 when her best friend -- the person she knew from the age of 5 -- moved away.

As she grew up, Emmy wondered what career path to take. She dabbled in the arts of drawing, of acting, and of music. She changed her major several times before settling on Religious Studies. Why did she pick Religious Studies? Because her heart was on fire for the Lord. She wanted to teach others about the faith she'd fallen deeply in love with. A degree in Religious Studies would open up options for this -- either teaching or doing something else. Also, Creative Writing was a harder field to break into; less stable.

Anyway, she could still write. She had started a blog on Christmas Day 2007 and had kept it up for many years. Before she even graduated, she had been published in Envoy Magazine twice. When she graduated, she began freelance writing but it was grunt work. She was paid literal pennies per word. Sure, she also got a sweet contributing writing gig for H&R Block's (now defunct) Block Talk blog but once that gig ended, ghostwriting dried up, and she found herself low on options with a student loan debt to pay off.

She felt called to write... but the field was not so kind to her. Deflated and feeling defeated, she thought it was a sign to abandon her dream as a writer. She applied (and was accepted) to a program for a second Bachelor's degree to become a speech-language pathologist. She put all her efforts into it, leaving a writing career that barely paid.

For the next 3.5 years, she tried to finish both the second Bachelor's degree and a Master's degree in  Biblical Theology. During this time, her health began to fail. The further she got into the second Bachelor's degree, the sicker she got. She took a break and tried a Master's in the topic that felt like home to her. A terrible accident and a decline in health following it forced her to take another break. With a mountain of student loans still looming -- as well as other familial financial responsibilities she chose to take on -- she decided to finish the second Bachelor's degree once more. She knew she had to be less gung-ho. She finished enough courses to get her license as an SLPA (speech assistant) but her heart was not in it and her savings were zilch (thus not allowing her to pay the $4-6k to get the  SLPA license).

She decided to give up on her own plans and let God completely take over. "Jesus, I trust in You. I will do what You want me to do" became her new motto. Facing the now crazy mountain of ($46+k) student loans (all of which she knew she could pay with an SLPA job; that's why she kept going), she stressed about how she would be able to pay it off. Providentially, for weeks before she gave up on the SLPA goal, St. Francis de Sales (patron saint of writers) kept popping into her life. She wondered if it meant she would be better of giving her writing career a second chance. It was when she decided to give up the SLPA goal that her lovely friend, Theresa, told her about an opportunity to write for a Catholic website Emmy often read. "What? Writing for EpicPew?! Sign me up!" Thus, Emmy's writing career was once again revived.

Now, she didn't actually get paid for a couple of weeks while she was on trial but she didn't care. She was writing once again! It was something she loved and something she felt guilty about letting go. Deep down, she always felt like it was what God might've been calling her to do but it was fear that kept her from pursuing it. Fear... and lack of trust. After stubbornly doing things her way, she let go and let Divine Providence take over. "Alright, God," she often said, "if you want me to do this, I will."

She loved writing for EpicPew. She let her inner Catholicism nerd run free. She also called on the Holy Spirit to enlighten her mind when she felt writer's block would keep from meeting her weekly deadline. Some articles her hits (and how!) and some were misses. It was all par for the course.

Then, one week, disaster struck. She couldn't think of anything to write! She had a looming deadline and nothing to write. Sure, she had back-up topics on reserve but they weren't what she normally wrote about. Still, she felt a tug to use one of them -- on Catholic pick-up lines -- to write that week. Trusting it was a nudge from the Holy Spirit and fresh out of new ideas, she went with it... and she quickly saw that she'd made the right decision.

The article blew up in a way no other previous article had! She was surprised -- most of her previous articles had a more serious tone to them. This article, which allowed her to explore her more fun side, was shared by Catholic publications she often read. She was humbled and in awe. "Okay, Holy Spirit! Thank you for that!" Still, a surprise lay ahead for her.

A few days after the article hit, she was offered a new writing gig as a contributing writer for a new Catholic dating website called CatholicChemistry. The pick-up lines article was just what the creator of the site was looking for. Would she be interested in writing for them? Sure!

She kept the news to herself (and a handful of friends). Then, on August 22nd, 2018, her first article with CatholicChemistry (5 Relationship Discernment Novenas) was published and she was finally able to share her news with the world!

What does this mean for the heroine of this story? Only God knows. All Emmy knows is that God continues to supply her with more writing work, making it clear that He wants her to continue down this writing path. There are, of course, more articles that have been and will be written for EpicPew, CatholicChemistry, Verily Magazine, and other places. She will share them on social media and on her blog. She will continue to write until God calls her to do something else. In the meantime, she hopes to help people grow a little more in their faith and/or vocation by what she writes...

This story has no end as it's still being written. Stay tuned... ;)

My Vocation Fear and a Costly Lesson Learned

Y'all know the writing gig I've been dropping hints about for the past 2 weeks or so? Well, now that the first article is up, I can officially let y'all in on the news. Meet EpicPew's newest contributing writer: me! ;)

Thanks to my friend, Theresa, I'm currently on a trial basis as a contributing writer for EpicPew. It's a website I'd subscribed to (for daily updates via email) while I was in school because I liked the content that they post. When Theresa let me know they were looking for writers, I didn't hesitate to say I was interested in applying. Long story short, it led to my first assignment on pro-life marches coming up this weekend and next.

The lovely thing about this whole thing is that it happened when I finally let go and let God take over. It happened the day I found out I wasn't going to continue the SLP program at Utah State. I had resigned myself to do whatever God wanted me to do. I didn't know how I was going to begin to repay my student loans. I didn't know what work I could possibly do with everything that's been going on. All I knew was that I fully trusted God to lead me down whatever path He wanted me to take. If I couldn't find anything because I needed to rest, I would rest. If I could find something I could do (and, hopefully, enjoy), I would welcome it. Immediately, this happened and, well, I couldn't be happier!

The interesting thing is that, last week, when I was contacted by the folks at Utah State that they wanted to help me continue down the SLP path by trying to help me get financial aid to finish the last two classes I "needed" (which I don't actually need) was also the day I got my first article greenlit. Cue the "fork in the middle of the road" metaphor. lol. I felt a peace when it came to writing for EpicPew. I feel a tightness in my chest and a foreboding feeling when I think about the SLP path. It was a no-brainer; I was going to stick to writing and not return to Utah State.

Ever since I decided to give an honest effort to make it as a writer (which isn't easy!), I've felt an enormous peace settle in my heart and in my very being. I gave a half-hearted try when I had finished my undergrad degree in 2012 because I felt called to it... but the pressure to do something that had a more steady income made me abandoned that dream. I wish I hadn't because all it did was get me $43k in student loan debt (I only had $2,000 student loan debt after I finished my first B.A.).

So, what's my takeaway from this long (and, literally, costly) mistake? That one shouldn't ignore what one feels called to out of fear (in my case, financial stability) because God always finds a way to provide. Even before I had finished my first degree, I'd felt like God was slowly tugging me into a career as a writer. When Patrick Madrid gave me my first big writing break in 2010 (that led to other freelance writing gigs; some secular, some Catholic), I didn't even have writing on my radar as a possible career path. I loved writing but I didn't consider doing it for the Catholic world until it happened. Again, financial difficulties, as well as dry spells that every writer experiences, led me to abandon it when I really should've just abandoned myself to His Divine Providence. I mean, I eventually did... years later. lol. You live and learn, folks!

I guess I know why St. Francis de Sales kept popping up in my life for most of last year. He's now my vocation patron saint. I have weekly articles coming up on EpicPew. I have the memoir I'm ghostwriting. I'm working on my third novel (which has undergone a change from its original plot). I hope God continues to show me what He wants me to do... and that I continue to have the courage to do it, even if it means that things may get a little difficult (financially) at times.

That's it for now. I'm doing an experiment to try to get my sleeping schedule back on track which involves shutting off all screens (laptop, phone, iPod touch) early so I need to go finish taking care of emails and everything else before my "screens off" time comes up. 

I hope you all have a lovely weekend! :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

10 Boring Facts About Me

I don't do these often but I needed something fun to write today so... thank you, Mary, for tagging/nominating me for this Sunshine Award. The instructions are easy: write 10 pieces of information about yourself. 

LIFE

1. I don't "have a life", okay? lol. My day pretty much consists of (in order):
- getting up at 4:30 a.m.
- dropping mom off at work
- coming home and taking a nap
- getting up from nap
- morning prayers
- having breakfast
- getting ready to go out
- going to do at least 20 minutes of silent prayer in front of the tabernacle
- either errands, cleaning the house, or volunteer work
- picking up mom from work
- coming home for lunch
- spending some time online
- working on novels (or work)
- having dinner
- spending more time writing or editing
- catching up with friends
- nightly prayers
- reading before bed
- bedtime

I will occasionally deviate from that schedule and hang out with friends, or have movie night with Julie, or do something else but that's pretty much what a typical day looks like for me right now. I'm sure things will change once I return to school in May.

2. I'm very much a morning person... and it annoys grumpy morning people. lol. I've been told I need to bottle the energy I have. I may be smiley and I may sing and dance along to music at 4-5 a.m. but come 2-3 p.m., I am wanting a nap. I don't pick up my second wind until about 7 p.m., which is why y'all see me most active online in the mornings and evenings/nights. :)

3. Too much social interaction drains me. Whether it's in person or online, after a while of social interaction I start feeling fatigued. I know it's one of  the downsides of being an introvert. That's why I took a break from Twitter yesterday; I was feeling completely drained at around 6-7 p.m. I love y'all but, seriously, getting bombarded by a ton of messages by so many people at once is a little overwhelming for me. No worries; I took an extra long nap today so I'm ready for y'all today.

LOVE

4. I don't talk about my love life on this blog. Or on Twitter. That comment about Twitter being one big flirt-fest today was my way of saying "please leave me out of it." You little rascals will not suck me into it.

5. My private life is private. I'm sorry but it's one of those off-limits topics. How about we talk about my inability to go a day without music... or about Catholicism and soccer... or how my love of Adoration is becoming an "addiction"? Those topics are so much more interesting.

6. Yes, I felt the need to use up these spaces to get this point across. When I touch on the topic, y'all know it's vague or I share it because it's one of those "I don't see this particular thing discussed in Catholic blogs and it needs to be addressed" things.

7. My massive crush on Tom Hiddleston is all you'll ever get out of me. Just putting it out there in case he ever stumbles across this. Call me. We'll have tea and read Shakespeare together. lol.

WORK

8. I am still freelance writing, but only for H&R Block and Catholic publications. The other companies were terrible so any freelance work y'all see from me will now either be for either of the two I mentioned. I learned, the hard way, that being promised to get paid and actually getting paid for your hard work are two completely different things.

9. I am still working on my novels, which are set to be published this year. The novel sequel ending was just finished yesterday but I still have to flesh out the story a bit more since I only wrote the basics during NaNoWriMo. I'm at 184 pages for the sequel at 237 for the first one. We'll see where they stand after all the editing.

10. I cannot wait until I begin my work as a speech therapist. I get along well with children (because I am a kid at heart) and older adults so I am looking forward to working with both age groups. I have to clock in some hours prior to my graduation next May (2015) and I'm just too excited to get started. This will mean less of a life (haha, what life?!) but I don't mind. :D

And that's it. A little on the boring side but now y'all know some things you didn't know about me. ;)

Anyway, I hope y'all have a great rest of week. As always, thanks for reading God bless! :D

2013: The Year this Nerd Persevered

I believe this year was the year I persevered. I know we all had a hard year; I've seen so many people celebrating the fact that the secular year is over with because of how exhausting 2013 was. However, despite the challenges, I think I made some really good steps to bettering my future. If last year was the year that I faced my fears and moved on, this was the year that I actually made things happen (as opposed to just hoping I would get the guts to change things) no matter how frightening the changes were.

To change from a career I'd always wanted (writing) to one that I had never even considered took a lot of faith as well as guts. I had some intense months of prayer and spiritual direction in order to get to this place. I was so reluctant to let go of writing (because it was what I wanted) but, being practical, I knew the instability of the career was not good for me. The Holy Spirit used two important people in my life to simultaneously lead me down the Speech-Language Pathology path and, after my SD told me what I needed to hear, I bit the bullet. I applied to only one school (which is the best from what I've heard from former students), was accepted, and now I'm waiting to begin my classes this coming May.

As I am not one to give up on my dreams so easily, I am still writing and have worked on two novels (both of which will be published next year) this year. I have a couple more in mind, which is exciting. How I will do it with SLP (especially since I have to get some hours in in order to start working as an assistant upon graduation), I am not sure... but it's a challenge I am very much looking forward to?

I think the best thing that could've happened to me this year was finally find the right spiritual director for me. Fr. G is a Godsend. I needed someone who pushed me out of my comfort zone and helped (and is still helping) me get out of the spiritual dryness I'd been feeling on and off for a couple of months. He's helped me out so much that I can already see the difference within me... and it's so wonderful. My wish is that everyone finds someone like him (someone who will inspire you to be your best and to get closer to God) for themselves.

One last (big) thing: Y'all know I started the year really sick. I got so sick (and so thin) that I received the Anointing of the Sick in May. It got quite scary for a while but I never let go of my faith nor of God and He saw me through. I'm still in recovery but I am in a better place than I was before. I think that that pretty much sums my year.

I was thrown so many obstacles this year (change of career, health issues, figuring out my vocation, financial, etc.) but I never let go of God. He was truly my rock this year. He's always been my rock but I can't begin to express how grateful I am to Him for His constant presence in my life. Looking back, I can't remember the last time I truly felt that He gave me the tools I needed to overcome everything that could've potentially (figuratively) drowned me. Though there were a few weeks when I didn't feel close to Him, I know He never left my side.

I've said this all year but I truly feel like God used this year to show me that I am ready for whatever new chapter 2014 will bring me. I got the courage to face a lot of things that I was afraid of. I've had so many people tell me that I couldn't do things over the years that I was afraid to try them. This year, that all changed... and I am so glad that I was able to show myself that I could do them. With every little thing that I conquered, my confidence grew as did my love for God, Mama Mary (wow, what a year for my relationship with her; I love her more than words can express), and for my heavenly buddies who helped me get to where I am.

Yes, 2013 was incredibly difficult but I was blessed in so many ways that the good greatly outweighed the bad. I cannot wait to see what God has in store for me in 2014. I can already feel like it's going to be a big year for me... and not just because I'll be entering the last year of my 20s halfway through the year.

Anyway, that was my year. I want to thank y'all for sharing it with me. Thank you for your prayer, your support, and the love y'all have shown me. Yes, I'm getting a bit sappy but y'all know I'm like that. lol.

I hope you all have a wonderful 2014. I can't wait to see what new adventures God has in store for us. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

7 Quick Takes Vol. 6: Happiness Is... Edition

-- 1 --

Happiness is... my spiritual direction meeting going well. Yesterday's meeting made me feel better about the decisions I have made regarding my career path and vocation. I was able to work through some things that were stopping me before and now I'm at peace with my decisions. The feeling of tranquility is a welcome change after three previous of stress and crying jags.

-- 2 --

Happiness is... choosing to do Speech-Language Pathology for the right reasons. I was worried that I would be choosing this path for the wrong reasons but, ultimately, I remembered why I wanted to choose this new path. Once my career in the field is established, I will go after the Master's in Theology. Like (new mama) Julie and my spiritual director said, I am young enough to still do both. And, as my SD jokingly said, I don't look old enough to teach Theology just yet. lol.

-- 3 --

Happiness is... feeling reassured that my initial discernment of being called to be a wife and mother some day seems to be the right one. I figured out what was stopping me from really getting out there and start dating again. Simply put, I got too comfortable being single. Y'all know that I don't like blogging about this part of my life but I will make a quick exception this time. I purposely took myself out of the "dating market" because my focus for a long time was on helping others and not so much on doing things for myself. Lately I've been feeling like it's time to go forward in that area. And that's all you're getting. ;)

-- 4 --

Happiness is... having fun freelance writing assignments this week. Though I had more work than usual, the assignments were quite short and easy to write so I had a lot of free time on my hands. This normally doesn't happen. I'm usually either swamped with work or I have no work at all. I like the balance I had this week and hope that it continues.

-- 5 -- 

Happiness is not... realizing that the Year of Faith is almost done and I am way behind on my Catechism reading. The project of reading the entire Catechism in a single year was going well until they pulled the plug for legal reasons and had to start using the YouCat version. I personally don't like the YouCat version too much so I'm trying to go through with the original plan. I'll get there. My goal for October is to finish reading it before the month ends.

-- 6 --

Happiness is not... having insomnia for the past week. I honestly don't know why I can't fall asleep early. I don't think I've ever had this problem either. The only day I was zonked out before midnight was on the night that baby Grace (Julie's cutie pie daughter) was born. I ended up missing the text when she was born because I was so exhausted that night. Of course. Besides that one good day, I've struggled to fall asleep before 1:30 a.m., despite still having the 4:30 a.m. wake up time. I even struggle to nap before 5:30 a.m., which is just weird for me. No me gusta.

-- 7 --

Happiness is... getting a ton of snail mail from friends. Y'all know how to make a girl happy. Kendra's little guy, Henry, even sent artwork he made for me. I posted the picture up on Twitter and my Instagram if anyone wants to see his mad art skills. Oh, and P.S., if any guy ever wants to woo me, this is how to do it. I'm a sucker for a well written letter.

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

And now I'm off to finish my last writing assignment for the week. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

10 Things You Might've Not Known About This Nerd

I have done this twice before and like to revive the tradition every two years-ish. The first one was written in 2009 and the last one was written in late 2011 so I think it's time to do one again, especially since I have a ton of new readers. So, without further ado, some things you might've not known about me.

1. At my graduation last year, I walked across the stage with my head down out of sheer panic. Those who have met me in person know that I am really shy and quiet when I first meet people and that I hate any sort of attention on me. Since the graduation ceremony was held at the Universal Amphitheater (read: HUGE place), I was utterly uncomfortable with the attention. It didn't help that each graduate's walk across the stage was on a huge screen. When they called my name, I think I turned bright red, looked down at my feet, and walked off-stage as quickly as my little feet could carry me. lol.

2. I actually don't like being a freelance writer; I'd rather tutor than write... Don't get me wrong, I love writing. Any time I get a chance to write something Catholic related or work on something that I can create with my wild imagination, I am happy. Sadly, most of my assignments have been a pain to write and/or the clients have been very rude and picky. "300 words exactly, not one less or more or you'll do it over again." "You call that an article? You didn't follow my directions to a T so now I am docking your pay!" Yikes! The only non-Catholic ones that I've really enjoyed have been the articles I've written for H&R Block's blog.

3. ... but if I could make a living out of writing fiction/novels, I'd rather do that than anything else. I am way behind schedule on finishing my novel (and the sequel has actually been started) because I've had to rewrite a couple of things to make the plot flow better. Thankfully I have an amazing beta reader/editor (Kiera) who helps me immensely. If I can make a career out of writing, I'm hiring her as my editor... even if she doesn't know it yet. lol. Oh, and I think the Spotify playlists for the main characters are still up if you want to try to figure out their personalities.

4. My way of "handling" things such as violence and/or death is by feeling faint. This is a symptom of PTSD. Seeing my father die right in front of me and living in an apartment complex that has had both a bomb threat (for which everyone except my father and I were evacuated) and a shooting that took place in our section. Even if I know someone's death is fictional (like Lady Sybil's death on Downton Abbey), I will feel like I'm going to pass out. Now friends will know why I will pass on action films.

5. I like to have "themed" literary months. December will always be Jane Austen month for me. November is the Chronicles of Narnia month. October is Catholic saints month. etc. Sometimes the theme is "finish reading all the books you started but didn't complete" because I tend to read at least 2-3 books at a time and sometimes I am so busy with work that they get pushed aside for weeks at a time.

6. I make way too many references to my favorite books, shows, and songs when talking to people. The top 5: Jane Austen ("You have no compassion for my poor nerves!"), Doctor Who (usually about the TARDIS being drunk), Elf ("you sit on a throne of lies!"), Mean Girls (I don't actually love this movie but it's so quotable; "Four for you *insert first name* Coco. You go, *insert first name* Coco."), and The Philadelphia Story ("Oh, C.K. Dexter Haaaaaveeeen...").

7. My friends love to take me shopping when they need something because the Hufflepuff in me can find things very quickly. Yes, that was a Harry Potter/A Very Potter Musical reference... and, yes, I got sorted into the Hufflepuff house on Pottermore. I am a Hufflepuff. Anyway, I have a knack for finding things incredibly fast so my girlfriends like taking me to stores so that I can cut their shopping time by more than half. Last time I did it, I found an entire outfit for one of my good friends in less than 15 minutes... and through racks she'd already gone through. Before that, I was taken to a record store to find some awesome vinyls of the jazz/blues genre for a friend's boyfriend. I should charge for my services. lol. 

8. I drive like a grandma according to some people. I stick to speed limits and will rarely go faster and that drives some of my friends crazy. I'm sorry but the speed limits are there for a reason and if you've ever driven in L.A., you know why I'm super cautious when I drive. People be cray cray. There are way too many almost accidents in my part of L.A.

9. Though I stink at html, graphics, and all of that, I am very proud of myself for creating the blog's new look. Yes, I only customized a Blogger template and I didn't make the banner graphic (I only found the font and used it to write "Journey of a Catholic Nerd Writer") but still. Better than nothing! I am happy because the previous layout was too cluttered for my taste (it was made that way by someone else). Let me have this little moment of happiness. Please. 

10. Every person and time in my life has a song unintentionally assigned to them. I'm very musically inclined (and I actually miss my guitar very much at the moment) so this isn't that much of a surprise. Every friend has a song that I associate them with. Every big event in my life has a song attached to it. However, no one knows what songs they are... and they may never know. ;) I will say that friends have done the same to me and the top 3 I get are "Rhapsody in Blue" by George Gershwin, "Sing Sing Sing" by Benny Goodman, and "Georgia on my Mind" by Ray Charles -- all favorite songs of mine.

And now you know a little more about me. I am going to go work on my novel now since I have loads of free time tonight. :D Hope this wasn't too boring for y'all. 

As always, thanks for reading and God bless. :D

I've Made Some Big, Life-Changing Decisions

As you can probably guess from the title, I've decided to share some pretty big decisions that I've made over the last couple of weeks. These decisions range from changes in my career, residence, and some other faith related changes.

First, as some of you may know, I recently did a St. Thomas Aquinas novena regarding grad school. If you've read this blog long enough, you know that I had been struggling to figure out what to do about grad school since before I graduated last year. Did I want to follow up my Religious Studies BA with a Master's in Theology? Did I want to follow my dream of being a writer and pursue a MFA in Creative Writing? I was torn between the two and, up until a few weeks ago, I was still undecided. Then I was inspired by the son of one of my dearest friends (Kathryn) to look into becoming a Speech Therapist. Well, I technically had a dream that I was visiting her family and had told her that I wished I was a therapist so I could help her, but it was enough to trigger the curiosity in me. After one of my Godmothers brought it up (without knowing that I was considering it), I really looked into it and it all sort of clicked for me.

Up until my father's death, I often talked how I had wished I had the stomach to become a doctor or even a nurse. I can handle some things but blood and seeing open cuts and wounds will make me faint. That's why I ruled that out early on. However, I've always wanted to help people out somehow. Then, as I said, it clicked for me. My mom and my uncle have stutters. Three of my best friends have children with autism. This is something I could do to really help people. I definitely have the patience, the heart to help, and it suits my personality. I even checked out my personality profile (I'm an INFP) for kicks and, sure enough, Speech Pathologist is on the list. So, after all of the things I've explained (as well as a lot of prayer), I've decided to change careers. I will always write but I think I'll be more comfortable writing my own novels and articles on the side and have Speech-Language Pathology as my main career.

It wasn't easy to get to this decision. Freelance writing is incredibly unstable. I knew that when I started last year. While I have really enjoyed some of my assignments (I'll always make time to write for H&R Block; side note: my latest post for them was published today), overall, I've been unhappy. I love writing but I figured out a few weeks back that (except for my H&R Block assignments, as well as those I've written for Envoy Magazine), most of my work has left me feeling empty and like I'm wasting my time. I no longer feel as though this is what God has planned for me. Sure, Speech Pathology pays a lot more (which is why I hesitated on the decision; I didn't want to make it based on greed or anything like that) but that's not why I want to do it. I just think that what I have to offer the world would be better spent helping others than writing  about which movies are currently playing "On Demand" for a cable company I personally ditched two weeks ago.

Along with the change of career, I've also decided to relocate. I've been wanting to move out of Los Angeles since, I kid you not, I was about 6 years old and I'll hopefully (finally!) get a chance to as I pursue this journey. All of the grad programs I want to apply to are in colder climates, which works for me; I'm sick of the hot weather. I will apply to a program here as well but I'm considering that as my backup. I am sure God will help guide me exactly where He wants me to be.

All of this has made me rely more on my faith, wanting to do God's will, and take my own feelings out of the equation. I loathe math with every fiber of my being but I'm going to have to get over it because I need at least one more upper division math class to take. As far as schools go, (from what I know) there are no orthodox Catholic universities that offer a SLP Masters degree. Not happy about that (would've loved to have attended a good Catholic uni) but maybe it's what I need to strengthen my faith. Also, a lot of the universities on the top of my list are in very liberal cities, which is going to be fun. Yes, there was a hint of sarcasm when I wrote that last sentence. lol. I definitely have my pick of the university I would love to attend, and the city in which it is in is my ideal to live in, but it's not about what I want. Again, it's about God's will and what He would like me to do. I just have to surrender any selfish desires and trust Him. I'm going to immerse myself in more prayer over the next couple of months (I'll be applying this autumn to begin during Fall 2014) and go from there.

I know that all these changes will alter a lot of things in my life. I will have to leave behind my comfort zone. I'm going to have to challenge myself in ways I wasn't anticipating. Overall, I'm hoping that my resolution to trust God completely and not worry about the future will prove to be a success because, as I wrote last month, it's never been easy for me to completely let go in the past. A new career. A new place to live in (I've lived at the same address for the past 22 years). And I will possibly have to do this by myself, without anyone there to help me. *gulp*

Anyway, just wanted to share this. If y'all can spare a prayer, I'd grateful appreciate it. :D

Sorry for the long post but, well, you guys know I love to write a little too much sometimes. lol.

I hope y'all have a great start of  the weekend. :D If you have any prayer requests, please send them by way. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless!

A Pope Benedict XVI Dream and Vocation Thoughts

The second part of the Catholicism in tumblr will come next week (asked someone to help me out with it). For now, I want to write something a little different as I want to reflect on the very powerful (well, for me) week that I've had.

If you read my FB page update last week (on the Feast of Our Lady of Fatima), you know I had some very exciting news to share. Over the last couple of days, a few things have changed... but I feel like maybe it was for the best.

First, I know some of you are curious about my Pope Benedict XVI dream (as well as saint dreams). Not sure why people like hearing them but I don't mind sharing. :D Well, basically in the dream I spoke to Pope Benedict XVI three times. First time was inside the Apostolic Palace. There were a lot of people around but I do remember saying something about wanting to live in Vatican City but that I knew I couldn't. The second time I spoke to him, we were all outside in a courtyard with journalist-type people. I'm a bit vague about the details (I should really keep a dream journal, lol) but it was basically about my vocation and how I knew I wasn't meant to be a religious sister. The last time, I was able to talk and walk alone with him. He gave me advice on my vocation (as a lay person who wanted to write) and he mentioned that there was a way that I could live/work in Vatican City as a lay person. He led me through a door when he told me this and then excuse himself as he had to "go back and help the poor and needy." And that was my dream. Not the first Pope Benedict XVI dream (one of my favorites was when I knelt down and he heard my confession/gave me advice and a Rosary/golden crucifix) but it's always pleasant. I would rather dream of the Pope, saints, Our Blessed Mother and Jesus than have other kinds of dreams.

Second, I had other work-related news but I had to rethink things after a few things came up. I'm still freelance writing (and I'm tutoring a little gal for an hour during the weekdays) but I came to realize that I couldn't take on a new project that I had been excited about. Though I was terribly excited (especially since it was to be with local Knights of Columbus), God knows why it didn't work out. I still dream of working with a church, a Catholic organization, or (one of my grander dreams) to work with a publication that is directly connected with the Vatican but for now I will be continuing my non-Catholic freelance assignments. Baby steps (just like the picture above of the Bl. Mother Teresa with a child.)

All of these things, along with the improvement of my health, have made me very aware of a lot things that I hadn't really thought about. For the first time since I began my freelance writing career, I've felt myself pulled more and more towards writing about the Faith. This week I was asked what my goal was and, for the first time, I said I wanted to use my gifts to help evangelize to my generation as well as the younger generations. At the moment all I can think of doing is continuing this blog as well as finishing my young adult novel. I know God will present different opportunities to me when I am ready.

To say that I've had a burning desire to do something big for the Church is an understatement. I don't know why but I feel like there's something that I am meant to do that I have yet to figure out. I feel called to devote my life to doing something unique to help evangelization purposes but am stuck as to what I should actually do. I've had this feeling before but never this intense or persistent. And, for the record, I want to do these things in a way that won't attract much attention to me. I just want to do these things in a quiet and fruitful way.

If I may be honest, though my heart is still stuck on becoming a wife and mother some day, I feel like this desire is even bigger than any thoughts of marriage. I may still get married but right now I feel myself being pulled closer to God and to (at the risk of sounding dramatic) lose myself in Him. Again, I don't believe I have a religious vocation (and I've certainly been open to it for the past 6 years) but heart and my mind is focused on God and God alone. Who knows, I may become a consecrated virgin. It's a thought I've been had for quite a while now; one I was afraid to have before, due to fear of being alone, but one that I now feel at peace with if it's my vocation. Again, I still believe that my vocation is to be a wife and mother (and I certainly think this vocation would best suit me as it would help get rid of my selfish tendencies that would be harder to shake if I were to remain single) but I am open to whatever God wants me to do/be. Right now I am, thankfully, enamoured with the idea of being close to God and to let what may come come at its own time. Vocation can go either way at the moment. All of this could be in preparation for any of the three. ;)

Anyway, everything that's happened this week had led me to these realizations (first time I have the guts to properly think them through, let alone write it down). See what beginning to read St. Teresa of Avila's Interior Castle and having a Pope Benedict XVI dream have led me to think? lol. jk.

Sorry for such a long post; I just let it all spill out without a second thought.

I should really try to finish my last assignment for the week (yes, I am currently procrastinating :-P) so I can enjoy tomorrow. :D

I hope you all have a wonderful week. If you have any prayer requests, let me know. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D