"Congrats on Graduating!" ... But I'm Not.

Taken during this weekend's studying frenzy, hence the flash cards everywhere.

Since Saturday, I've received postcards and phone calls congratulating me on my upcoming graduation. "You must be excited! May 6th will come before you know it!" It gets a little awkward when I have to say "Oh, thank you... but I'm not graduating yet. I'm not scheduled to graduate until December." You can hear a pin drop while the information registers in the mind of whoever called. Cue the awkward pause and nervous chatter that follows it.

Long story short, I was scheduled to graduate this semester but, for reasons only God knows, it had to be pushed back from this May to this upcoming December; from the end of Spring semester to the end of Fall semester. I don't think they've updated their database at Utah State (where I'm currently on track to finish my second Bachelor of Arts in Communicative Disorders and Deaf Education) because, well, I keep getting these calls and things in the mail. Oh, I still asked for the tassel to be sent to my house since I'll technically finish in the year 2017 and I want that tassel that says 2017. lol.

I've actually been thinking a lot about school and graduation in the last couple of weeks. Actually, scratch that; it's been on my mind for months. I was going to wait a bit longer to write about this but, well, it's been a big theme for me this Lent: I'm not even sure that I'm going to finish this degree. Only three of my closest friends have known about this for weeks because I've asked for their opinions and/or just needed to get the thoughts that were bouncing around in my mind out into the open.

No, I'm not quitting... exactly. In the past couple of weeks/months -- especially following the end of the 54-day Rosary novena -- I've felt like God is calling me down a different path on which I won't need this degree. I don't know whether that means I won't be working in this field too long after graduation or if it means that a job will come along which will pull me away from finishing this degree... but it's something along those lines. I'm perfectly at peace with either option. I've gained a lot of clarity which has brought that inner peace during this Lenten season.

First, the main theme for this Lent seems to have been a renewal and recommitment to trusting God despite my fears. The doctor appointments / random ER visit, the last-minute trip to Mexico, and the other things I will eventually write about in the coming days and weeks... it's all been about trusting God.

I can almost hear God asking me, "do you trust me?" whenever a difficult situation comes up.

"Yes," I answer, though, truthfully, sometimes it's done with some apprehension because letting go is easier said than done. More like "I'm trying to but, yes, it's ultimately what I want to do."

"Then let go and let Me take care of it," I can imagine Him saying to me.

I let go of a fear about something I needed to take for my health. After having had a number of adverse reactions to medications and allergies and intolerances to foods, I'd developed a fear of trying anything new out of fear of ending up in the hospital. I'll hopefully find out if what I'm taking (while I haven't been taking for very long) has made a bit of difference. My doctors were finally able to get me a hematology appointment after trying to get it approved for years (yes, years plural). I hope that we'll soon know why my red and white blood cells, as well as my platelets, have been on a downward trend in the last couple of years. I'm still hoping the answer is as simple as it being a result of my health crashing from overdoing it and not taking care of myself three years ago -- then the relapse following the car accident a year and a half ago -- as well as a poor diet that has led my folate level to be at dismal number/level.

Just like I let go of that fear to do something that will make me healthier, I'm going to let go of my fears of financial instability. I'm going to let God guide me down whatever career path He wants me to take, even if it's something radically new. He knows better than I do what I need to do in order to do His will. If I somehow do end up having to leave the degree unfinished, I'm not going to regret or lament it.

Not finishing the degree won't mean that I've quit out for selfish reasons or because I couldn't handle it. It'll simply mean that I've chosen to follow God's path for me rather than my own. I've already made peace with the fact that I'm not going to go back and finish my Master's in Theology either. Oh, I've received a lot of clarity about that (no Theology MA) and I'm owing that to St. Francis de Sales who seems to have somehow become my (surprise/unplanned) patron this Lent. Again, I'm not sure if this will happen but I'm at peace with it if this is what ends up happening.

If I do end up finishing this degree -- which is looking like the most likely outcome at this point -- I've already made the decision not to attend the graduation ceremony. After hearing about how graduation is celebrated in Italy (shout out and a public "congrats!" to my good friend, Francesca, who received her Master's degree in Italy last month) and comparing it to how it's celebrated in the States, I decided against it. It's not my style. Need I remind longtime readers what I did during my first undergrad graduation ceremony? lol. If I finish this degree, I'll opt for a homemade dinner with family and close friends; a way of thanking them for all their support. Okay, maybe I'll add a trip to Disneyland to celebrate if I can afford it. lol.

Everything is up in the air in terms of the future of my education and career but that's okay. I have plans for the current path I'm in: finish the degree in December, work on the required (in CA) 100 supervised hours before receiving my license to become a speech-language pathology assistant (SLPA) either March through May or September through November of 2018 (depending which school/program I can complete the hours in), and then start working. I'll continue down this path until God makes His will for me clearer.

I can technically begin working as an SLPA in other states because I've already completed the required 25 supervised hours that many states ask for (I completed them last semester) so maybe God will call me to work in another state that doesn't have as many requirements in CA as soon as I graduate. Maybe the autobiography I'm ghostwriting (have I written about that yet?) will kick-start the writing career I've always dreamed about. I don't know. All I know is that I've placed my future in God's hands and I trust that He will lead me to Him... and that's all I want.

Anyway, I wanted to write and this is what came out. I don't know how much blogging I'll get done this week. I'm starting to study for finals and then we (Mom and I) are going to try to do only what's necessary from Thursday evening through Sunday morning; for the Paschal Triduum. That means no music (uber hard for me), no TV (not sure if Mom can go without TV, lol), and little to no online time (it'll depend on a group project but I'll most likely choose to not use my laptop nor the iPod touch during the Triduum). I do have reading and studying planned since I need to study and the reading is all centered around the Passion and my relationship with God but that's about it.

If, in your charity, you can please say a pray for clarity regarding my education and career path, I'd greatly appreciate it. :)

I hope you are all having a lovely start of the week! :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

Celebrating 3 Years Since Graduation

I can't believe it's been 3 years since I graduated from my CINO college (which has a university status as of last fall) alma mater. It seems like only yesterday I was nervously walking across the stage at the Gibson Amphitheater, cheeks bright red since I didn't like the attention... or my face on the big screen. lol. To celebrate the 3 years of freedom (ha!), I thought I'd share with y'all the top 9 posts from my time at that prison, in chronological order. ;)

1.  October 25, 2010: CINO (Catholic In Name Only) and Double Majors The post that blew up everywhere (even made it into First Things) and start my posts about my alma mater.

2. December 2, 2010: I'm Undercover at the CINO... Follow-up to the first post, further explaining my decision of attending the school.

3. September 9, 2011: It's Finally Happened... My surprise at one of the handful of lectures that were actual orthodox during my time as a Religious Studies major.

4. September 15, 2011: I Finally Watched The Passion... Sort Of. What happened the first time this Religious Studies major watched The Passion with her classmates.

5. December 23, 2011: Ooh, My CINO College is in Trouble... The one in which a professor confirms that they're not supposed to teach what is taught on campus.

6. January 12, 2012: Profs Don't Like Me But Like Abortion Yep, abortion is praised during a lecture.

7. February 29, 2012: Well, I'm Not Stopping... People started referring to me as "the girl with the blog" on campus.

8. April 12, 2012: Emmy, Defender of the Pope and Priests? New confessor inspires me to fight for the Pope and priests after hearing what is said about clergy during lectures.

9. May 8, 2012: I'm Officially a College Graduate. Recap from exactly 3 years ago, today, of the graduation ceremony and the two years I spent at the school.

Hope you enjoy the trip down memory lane if you've read this blog long enough. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

7 Quick Takes, Vol. 21: SLP, Marriage, Sheen Saga, and Novels Edition

-- 1 --

I had an interview to be a student volunteer / intern at a private speech therapy office this morning... and I nailed it! I begin on Tuesday. :D It's a small company but they're doing the exact work I hope to get into as soon as I earn my Master's degree. Since I've chosen to be an independent, contracted SLP (as in, I won't work for a specific school or a hospital; I'll go where I am needed), this place is perfect for me. I can't really say more than that for obvious legal and privacy issues but let's just say it was my first choice to do my observation hours and I'm so happy I was taken on as one of the two students for the semester.

-- 2 --

In other SLP/school related news, I sent in my graduation application for the Spring of 2015 as per the suggestion of my academic adviser. Before you ask why so early since I'm aiming for a May 2015 graduation date, I have theories based on what I was told. Basically, it takes several weeks (up to two months) for the application to be processed and then they have to send the graduation package. Because I'm in Los Angeles and not Utah (where my school is located), I need to be ahead of the game in case there are any hiccups along the way. I don't want to miss the May commencement ceremony and that could easily happen if I'm not on top of things, months in advance. Either way, I'm so excited at the prospect of making my mama proud as I walk across the stage again. :D

-- 3 -- 

I've noticed an interesting trend on Twitter (and off social media) from guy friends in the past couple of weeks... and the topic is marriage. Now, I'm not surprised when us gals start talking about vocations and even start joking about "qualifications" future husbands must have. I have been surprised with how much the fellas are starting to talk about it; even more so than us gals. Seriously, dudes, what's going on? Curious female minds want to know what brought this on. Any man brave enough to answer this?

-- 4 --

Anyone else getting dizzy from the Ven. Fulton Sheen saga? First we get the news that the cause was suspended because Cardinal Dolan and the NY Archdiocese allegedly refused to go ahead with plans as had been discussed. Then we got news from the NY Archdiocese explaining why Ven. Fulton Sheen's body wasn't being sent to Peoria, IL to help the cause proceed. Now... I don't know. I haven't caught up with the latest installment of this whole thing. Thankfully, it sounds like this will only be a temporary issue and it looks like both dioceses are going to attempt to work together. I'm on Team #FreeFultonSheen and I'm still waiting for the tees to come out so I can get two.

-- 5 -- 

Some novel news, starting with first novel news. My debut novel, Will and Lina: When Two Worlds Collide, will be part of an Amazon Countdown Deal starting on Sunday. It will be on sale for 99¢. I don't know if Amazon will gradually increase the price until it's back to the current $3.99 price but it will be on sale from September 7th through September 14th. You know, in case you haven't gotten your copy yet. Yes, it's still only available through Amazon Kindle. No, you don't need an actual Kindle to read it.

-- 6 --

Update from the sequel: I am in the first round of edits for the novel sequel, Will and Lina: London Calling. Is it bad to say that I love the sequel more than the first one? Story-wise, it's more action packed. The first novel sort of gave you an idea of what the characters were like and their back stories. The sequel just assumes you read the first one and picks up where the (sort of) cliffhanger left off. For the record, chapter ten (currently titled Tubthumping) is my favorite for many reasons you'll have to wait to read to find out. ;)

-- 7 --

Just a picture clue (courtesy of tumblr) as to what the next blog post will be about. I have a feeling many fellas will pass on it but there's been a recent Anne of Green Gables reading boom amongst us 25+ gals so I was inspired. I'm still re-reading the series before bed and I'm highlighting as I go through the books so I'll be prepared. ;)

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

And that's it for now. I'm going to go make myself a cup of tea and unwind for the excitement (and it has been exciting!) of the day.

Hope y'all have a wonderful weekend!

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

7 Quick Takes Vol. 8: Life Happens Edition

-- 1 --

Yes, I know... I dropped the ball for this week's What I Learned Wednesday post but it was for a good reason. I received my student number earlier in the week (officially an Aggie!) and I had to do my student orientation stuff online since I obviously don't live in Utah and can't go on campus easily. It definitely took much longer than anticipated so I spent my evening doing that. As for earlier in the week and day, I've been busy so I didn't get a chance. I may just write future posts ahead of time (when I have free time) so that I quit missing them.

-- 2 --

I found out that I have the option to attend graduation after I finish my post-BA/pre-MS program because I am technically getting a second Bachelor's (Bachelor of Science this time) degree. I am entertaining the idea but that is way in the future (at least a year and a half from now) so I still have time to decide. Still, it's so lovely of them to include us Distance Education students in the graduation ceremonies. I may just stay on for their grad program... which would mean moving to Utah for at least two years. We'll see.

-- 3 --

I had my spiritual direction meeting yesterday and it was all kinds of awesome. I need a major overhaul in my prayer life so these meetings are definitely necessary. It was also decided that I need to re-discern my vocation. I still believe that I am called to marriage (you know, when Prince Charming decides to stop for directions so he can get here. Men... :-P) but I want to be sure that I've properly discerned my vocation before I move forward.

-- 4 -- 

And while I'm on the topic of marriage: no, the Pinterest board I created (which I named "Going to the Chapel") is not for my wedding plans. I know some of you congratulated me on Twitter but I can assure you that I do not have any thoughts of matrimony at the present. The board was created to help plan the wedding of two other people, neither of who are me. I am not going to try to plan anything for myself until there's been a proposal. Capisce? lol.

-- 5 -- 

NaNoWriMo is starting in exactly one week from today... which means I'm going to be busier than usual. I have a ton of research to do this week in preparation for it, too. I want to write the entire sequel to Will and Lina (which is the current title to my first completed novel) during NaNo so that readers won't hate me too much for how the first novel ended. And that's all I'm saying so there's no spoilers. lol.

-- 6 -- 

I have been really missing some of my friends lately. Many of them I lost touch with when I deactivated my Facebook account because it's how they primarily keep in touch with everyone else. I've also been missing friends that have gone missing on Twitter. It's just a crummy "Emmy misses her friends" week for me. I need a hug in a cup (tea), a PB&J sandwich, and a hug. Stat!

-- 7 --

I've been encourage to either start podcasting or to prepare myself to start public speaking as part of my ministry (which I had no idea was a ministry? lol). I am not sure whether I have the time/energy to do it with everything else that I have going on but I may try it in the near future, before the SLP program takes over my life and after NaNo lets me breathe. lol.

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

And that's it for now. See? I can do quick takes properly. lol.

I hope y'all had a great week and have a fab weekend. ;)

As always, thanks for reading and God bless. :D

10 Things You Might've Not Known About This Nerd

I have done this twice before and like to revive the tradition every two years-ish. The first one was written in 2009 and the last one was written in late 2011 so I think it's time to do one again, especially since I have a ton of new readers. So, without further ado, some things you might've not known about me.

1. At my graduation last year, I walked across the stage with my head down out of sheer panic. Those who have met me in person know that I am really shy and quiet when I first meet people and that I hate any sort of attention on me. Since the graduation ceremony was held at the Universal Amphitheater (read: HUGE place), I was utterly uncomfortable with the attention. It didn't help that each graduate's walk across the stage was on a huge screen. When they called my name, I think I turned bright red, looked down at my feet, and walked off-stage as quickly as my little feet could carry me. lol.

2. I actually don't like being a freelance writer; I'd rather tutor than write... Don't get me wrong, I love writing. Any time I get a chance to write something Catholic related or work on something that I can create with my wild imagination, I am happy. Sadly, most of my assignments have been a pain to write and/or the clients have been very rude and picky. "300 words exactly, not one less or more or you'll do it over again." "You call that an article? You didn't follow my directions to a T so now I am docking your pay!" Yikes! The only non-Catholic ones that I've really enjoyed have been the articles I've written for H&R Block's blog.

3. ... but if I could make a living out of writing fiction/novels, I'd rather do that than anything else. I am way behind schedule on finishing my novel (and the sequel has actually been started) because I've had to rewrite a couple of things to make the plot flow better. Thankfully I have an amazing beta reader/editor (Kiera) who helps me immensely. If I can make a career out of writing, I'm hiring her as my editor... even if she doesn't know it yet. lol. Oh, and I think the Spotify playlists for the main characters are still up if you want to try to figure out their personalities.

4. My way of "handling" things such as violence and/or death is by feeling faint. This is a symptom of PTSD. Seeing my father die right in front of me and living in an apartment complex that has had both a bomb threat (for which everyone except my father and I were evacuated) and a shooting that took place in our section. Even if I know someone's death is fictional (like Lady Sybil's death on Downton Abbey), I will feel like I'm going to pass out. Now friends will know why I will pass on action films.

5. I like to have "themed" literary months. December will always be Jane Austen month for me. November is the Chronicles of Narnia month. October is Catholic saints month. etc. Sometimes the theme is "finish reading all the books you started but didn't complete" because I tend to read at least 2-3 books at a time and sometimes I am so busy with work that they get pushed aside for weeks at a time.

6. I make way too many references to my favorite books, shows, and songs when talking to people. The top 5: Jane Austen ("You have no compassion for my poor nerves!"), Doctor Who (usually about the TARDIS being drunk), Elf ("you sit on a throne of lies!"), Mean Girls (I don't actually love this movie but it's so quotable; "Four for you *insert first name* Coco. You go, *insert first name* Coco."), and The Philadelphia Story ("Oh, C.K. Dexter Haaaaaveeeen...").

7. My friends love to take me shopping when they need something because the Hufflepuff in me can find things very quickly. Yes, that was a Harry Potter/A Very Potter Musical reference... and, yes, I got sorted into the Hufflepuff house on Pottermore. I am a Hufflepuff. Anyway, I have a knack for finding things incredibly fast so my girlfriends like taking me to stores so that I can cut their shopping time by more than half. Last time I did it, I found an entire outfit for one of my good friends in less than 15 minutes... and through racks she'd already gone through. Before that, I was taken to a record store to find some awesome vinyls of the jazz/blues genre for a friend's boyfriend. I should charge for my services. lol. 

8. I drive like a grandma according to some people. I stick to speed limits and will rarely go faster and that drives some of my friends crazy. I'm sorry but the speed limits are there for a reason and if you've ever driven in L.A., you know why I'm super cautious when I drive. People be cray cray. There are way too many almost accidents in my part of L.A.

9. Though I stink at html, graphics, and all of that, I am very proud of myself for creating the blog's new look. Yes, I only customized a Blogger template and I didn't make the banner graphic (I only found the font and used it to write "Journey of a Catholic Nerd Writer") but still. Better than nothing! I am happy because the previous layout was too cluttered for my taste (it was made that way by someone else). Let me have this little moment of happiness. Please. 

10. Every person and time in my life has a song unintentionally assigned to them. I'm very musically inclined (and I actually miss my guitar very much at the moment) so this isn't that much of a surprise. Every friend has a song that I associate them with. Every big event in my life has a song attached to it. However, no one knows what songs they are... and they may never know. ;) I will say that friends have done the same to me and the top 3 I get are "Rhapsody in Blue" by George Gershwin, "Sing Sing Sing" by Benny Goodman, and "Georgia on my Mind" by Ray Charles -- all favorite songs of mine.

And now you know a little more about me. I am going to go work on my novel now since I have loads of free time tonight. :D Hope this wasn't too boring for y'all. 

As always, thanks for reading and God bless. :D

Oh Snap, It's Finally Happened...

Yes, Eleventh Doctor, I'll get to it as soon as I'm done with this post. ;)

A few things have finally happened and it's making me both nervous and excited. 

First: it FINALLY hit me that I'm basically done with my undergrad career. It wasn't until my Harlem Renaissance professor reminded us that this week is our last week of classes (next week is finals week) that it really hit me. I'm done. I'm done? I'm done! Of course I still have finals to do and a couple more assignments that are due this week but I don't have other major things to do. I'm going to miss homework and learning... but not the school. As I'm writing this post, I am simultaneously chatting with friends on Facebook about how unhappy my time at this school has been.

Of course, I don't have to tell y'all that; you've all read more than enough posts about my experience at the CINO school. I will miss some professors (like my Harlem Renaissance and College Algebra professors) who actually believed in and encouraged me. Come to think of it... besides the aforementioned professors and my Western Literature/Norse Mythology professor, I didn't have much support from the others. And to sum up my experience with two current issues: two weeks later and I have NOT heard from my Thesis adviser about any changes to my Thesis before the deadline... and the semester ends next week. Prior to that I tried to contact her for a month and a half but she claimed to have not received any of my emails. Also, my mother attended a school concert with me last week (as it was mandatory and she wanted out of the house for a couple of hours)... and she personally witnessed how poorly I am treated by professors. One of them gave me the stink eye and was overall not nice. At least now I have witnesses to rudeness I experience.

Second: Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati, St. Therese of Lisieux, and St. Jude Thaddeus -- just a general shout out to my heavenly buddies who helped me make it through my two year journey at that school. Without their intercessions, I don't think I would've come out relatively sane. I've had friends drop out and/or transfer out because of the mistreatment we receive if we aren't in agreement with their beliefs... which are mostly against Church teachings too. Of course. If this isn't proof that prayer and hard work pays off, I don't know what does.

Third: I just realized that I am finally getting thrown out into "the real world." That is a bit scary, especially being aware of how scarce jobs are. There are a few jobs within the L.A. Archdiocese that I am going to apply for but most of them ask for either a Master's degree or extra experience which I don't have. However, I am a fast learner and I am passionate about my faith so I'm sure that God will open the right door for me. My biggest anxiety inducer is the uncertainty of it all. I don't know how soon I'll be able to start working or if I'll have to look elsewhere. And, of course I will be going for my Master's degree in a year but still it's completely odd for me not to be in school taking at least one class.

Fourth: (my, I do love making lists, don't I? lol) Despite all my venting, I have come to the conclusion that I am grateful for everything that's happened. Yes, I'm even grateful for all the humiliation, crying, and panic attacks I experienced this semester from my music professors. I truly believe that every negative thing is a character builder and thus I am glad that I experienced them. I feel like I'm coming out of this experience a lot more confident than when I went in. I also feel stronger in my faith and beliefs. The passion I felt about sharing my faith with younger members of this generation (children to those starting college) had gone out for a while shortly after my father died but it has reignited... and Lord help the person who dares talk smack about my beloved God, Pope Benedict XVI or Roman Catholic Church because I have no qualms about sticking up for any of them.

Anyway, just wanted to write all of this out before I get busy with schoolwork. I have a chance to get all but one of my finals completed by Sunday of this week so I am going to definitely attempt to do it. :D OH! And if any of you have prayer intentions, let me know so I can offer up the next two weeks for them. Doesn't matter what the prayer intention is nor do you have to tell me what it is, just let me know that you have one and I'll write it down in my notebook so that I can get everyone's intentions in. :D

And since it is Monday here's a song that I wanted to share. It's called "Pray about Everything" by Luke Bryan. Yes, it's a country song. Raise your hand if you did not see that coming. lol.

 

Alright, I'm off to do homework. I hope y'all have a great week!

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless! :D

 

To Walk or Not to Walk...

Lately I've been seriously thinking about whether or not I will walk on stage at my graduation in the Spring. Some of my friends/classmates are opting not to since they've attended previous graduation ceremonies my school's had and they all say it's pretty mind-numbingly bad. That and, well, we're all in the "hey, this isn't an orthodox Catholic college! Get me out of here!" boat. The speakers aren't that great (from what I've heard) and it's a 4-5 hour ceremony because they include Associates, Bachelors and Masters graduates into one big ceremony. Add the fact that my school has a history of inviting pro-abortion speakers and you get a very unhappy me. If by some miracle Archbishop Gomez was invited to speak and actually accepted then I would not hesitate but I'm not holding my breath. And, to be completely honest, I feel kind of like a fraud. I don't think I really earned my degree 'cause I learned nothing except how to defend myself against those who don't teach Catholicism in an orthodox manner... oh, and I might've gotten a little more mischievous when coming up with prank ideas. That's pretty much it. lol.

If it were up to me (and only had myself to consider) I wouldn't do it. We all know I'm not my school's biggest fan and that I'm just going through the motions to graduate. They assault me with liberation theology and feminist rants on a daily basis; my reaction isn't a surprise. It's sad that I won't look back at my time at this school fondly (except for time spent with some good friends) but que sera, sera. However, I have to think about how much it would've meant to my dad and how much it means to my mom to see me walk.

See, the thing is that I'm a first generation college student in my family. No one's graduated high school, let alone college. The fact that I'm going to graduate (God willing) is a huge deal for them. My mom likes to tell everyone that I'm a few months from graduating while I blush a bright red and tell her to not make a big deal out of it. An older brother and sister-in-law were here last week and when my mom started talking about it, I went and hid in my room while I felt my face flushed. lol. I know if my dad were still alive he'd tell me that if I didn't want to go I wouldn't have to... though he would later try to guilt trip me into reconsidering it. lol. My mom will most likely "talk to" (and by talk I mean bug -- and I say that in the most loving way, lol) me until I cave and say I'm going... but I don't know.

That brings me to something else. I'm currently going through this period of trying to figure out when it's okay to do what I want and when to go on as I have before. I've (pretty much) always been a people pleaser; always done what I was told or what was expected of me. I've given up a lot -- oh boy, have I ever -- but I'm not regretting my decisions. I'm not complaining. I'm just at a point where I've been feeling a little selfish and this decision is one in which I am struggling. I really don't think I want to do the whole graduation thing (I'm not even taking my picture for the yearbook with their own photographer since that's more money they want to suck out of my already microscopic wallet). If they have another pro-abortion speaker spewing their agenda I'm going to be uncomfortable. A 4-5 hour ceremony sounds torturous... especially since I'll be somewhere at the end (Religious Studies is amongst the last listed majors) so I'll have to sit through the entire thing. I would much rather go to Disneyland with a bunch of friends and celebrate that way. But, do I want to pick this as my first big selfish decision and deprive my mother out of seeing her only child (and I am my mother's only child as my siblings are half-siblings on dad's side) graduate? I mean, she's already seen my graduate. I was the first to walk on stage at my high school graduation since I finished early and I sort of gave the Valedictorian speech. (side note: I am currently blushing typing that out.) I know this is college and it's a whole different ballgame but I just don't know.

So that, ladies and gentlemen, is my dilemma. I unfortunately have to make a decision soon since the school is asking us to let me know whether or not we will walk so they can make the necessary arrangements. I know, for sure, I am not doing the yearbook picture thing... nor the school/class ring... or pretty much anything that will make me dip into the savings I've just started rebuilding. And I thought trying to figure out what I was going to write my Thesis on was hard (another side note: I already picked my topic ;D); this is harder.

Anyway, I just gave myself a little break to update y'all on what's going on with me. Still a whole lot of nothing except schoolwork. Good news is that I've got my professors figured out so I know what to do to save myself time when studying. :D Still doing the music purge. I'm down to triple digits. I had to delete A LOT of music. I'll update y'all with more detail soon. The skirt experience will probably re-start in October since I lost a bit of weight and I need to get myself some new duds. (Don't worry, it's not intentional or an illness; I just cut down on sugar and a lot of junk foods for my own health.) I do have some pretty exciting "Oh boy, I'm getting published again" news. Not for Envoy Magazine (though, yes, I have another article in the latest issue) but something else. Y'all will know soon enough. :D

Okay, now I'm just procrastinating. lol. I should go and try to finish my coursework so I can enjoy my first long weekend since last month. :)

I hope everyone is doing great and hope y'all have a great weekend. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless!