Do You Have a Tsundoku Problem?

I have a problem. A massive problem. It's called tsundoku. "What's that?" you may ask. Apparently it means "buying books and letting them pile up, unread" (or something like that) in Japanese. Does anyone else have that problem?

It's bad. You know what? I'm going to go count how many books are on the living room bookcase and see how many of those I've yet to read/finish. It's 11:03 a.m. right now, let's see how long it takes me...

It's now 11:10 a.m. 7 minutes. In 7 minutes I found out I have 124 books on my small living room bookcase. Of those 124 books, I've not read 49 books. Out of those 49 unread books, 35 are Catholic -- either philosophy, teachings, or saint lives. That means roughly 39.5% of my books have been unread and of those unread books, approximately 71.4% of them are Catholic. Yikes! And, guess what. That doesn't include the books I've checked out from the library or other books I have scattered throughout the apartment. Yes, I have a problem.

I've banned myself from looking at the TAN, Sophia Institute Press, and other Catholic publisher catalogs that arrive in the mail because I always want more... but I have so many books I've yet to read. I've never finished Interior Castle or even The Story of a Soul. Not sure why. Do you know how many books I have on my Amazon wishlist that are Catholic? More than I should. lol. I'm definitely suited for the (lay) Dominican lifestyle... but I can't keep spending money and never reading these books. I think the one sitting on the bookshelf the longest has been there for almost the decade since my reversion and has yet to be read. Tsk, tsk Emmy.

So, new goal for me: try to make it through at least 10 of those books before I return to school in a little over a month. It can be done, especially since I'm pretty much stuck in the house when it's over 85 degrees which has been after 9 a.m. the past couple of days (it's supposed to go up to 109 today).

Does anyone else want to partake in this Tsundoku Challenge? Maybe not 10 books in a month (I have waaaay too much free time these days) but perhaps making a dent in your pile of unread books? I pledge that by August 28th I will have 10 books crossed off my "to read" list. I will even blog about it, whether I did it or not.

I really need to "out" myself with things I need to change because I know some of y'all will keep me accountable. If I keep them to myself, I'll most likely not follow through. Get on my case (if you know me on a personal level)! ;)

Alright, I should probably go do something. Maybe I'll finish one of the books I borrowed from the library... or take myself a snack (spoiler alert: self-care update coming this weekend).

I hope y'all had a lovely week and have a lovelier weekend. I also hope to have something posted tomorrow but we'll see. ;)

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

As a Woman, I'm Insulted...

Dear (Most) Writers of Women's Fiction,

As a woman, I'm insulted by the rubbish you've written for us. Though I'm grateful that the LAPL (Los Angeles Public Library) has an excellent selection of eBooks for us who can't keep driving to and from one of the local library branches, your books have made me sorry to have so many options because most of them are terrible and an absolute waste of time.

Now, I'm not dumping on everyone. I've read some decent novels that were hard to put down. Though I might've had some personal issues with the language and a small thing or two because I'm a "prude," but, overall, the characters were relatable and the story was engaging. To you 2% who don't focus on superficial things in novels, massive kudos to you!

As a writer, I understand that it's not easy to write a novel. I wrote (and rewrote) my first novel several times over a period of about 5 years. The second was easier as it was a sequel and I already knew how the story was going to end. I get that sometimes when we write, we think what would appeal best to our intended audience. Sometimes, though, I get a feeling that some of us (and I'm going to exclude myself from this bit) write what we think will sell for the sake of selling, leaving the plotline to suffer as a consequences.

As a woman I'm insulted that you think that all we think about is lustful sex... and clothes... and unrealistic romance in an idealistic world. Yes, we women like romance. Hi, I like Hallmark movies and will cry at the end of some of those movies. However, I'm worried that the way stories are written will have an adverse effect on women in general.

What are the most common plots I've noticed in books I've read lately? Woman wants to reform a man... woman wants a man she can't have... woman is unhappy in her relationship/marriage so she seeks to get her pleasure kicks elsewhere... woman dreams about her dream man and she gets him... woman is obsessed with looking thin and perfect. Do you see where there is a problem in the genre?

How about books of women going through real life struggles with the help of their family and friends? How about a focus on platonic love instead of writing smut? Yes, most of us women thrive when we feel a connection with another person, but it doesn't always have to be dramatic and romantic. How about writing about real issues we women face like how complicated relationships are, about women suffering from infertility, about genuine human connections that inspire us to be better women? Why must the majority of books lead down the smutty road of lustful sex? Newsflash: not all of us like that stuff nor do we live it.

I'm sure there's an audience for these types of books but, if the reviews on Goodreads are any indication, most of us are looking for more than one dimensional characters getting their groove on. We want literary women of substance. We want to read about ordinary women who do extraordinary things against all odds. We want to read about heroines who strive for more than finding the perfect boyfriend/husband, having the perfect wedding, and/or exceed in beauty. Give me a "frumpy looking" character whose mind and heart challenges and inspires readers rather than a beautiful one who is shallow and loathsome.

As a writer I promise to try to write characters that I would've hoped someone else would've written for me, if that makes any sense. I want to challenge my readers. I want to show younger readers that there's more to life than snagging the "hot" and "sexy" guy... more than fitting into the "right" clothes... to looking "perfect"... to being what the world expects me to be like. I'm not saying my books will be likeable to all or even "good," but if I can help combat the crud that is out there, I'll be happy.

Anyway, sorry for this rant, y'all. I just got done with yet another terrible novel (this one had a main character who was in an adulterous relationship for 6 YEARS with a man who clearly wasn't going to leave his wife -- not that he should've -- and kept making excuses to stay with him) and I needed to vent my frustration in long form. It frustrates me because so many of these books have promising ideas behind them and the blurbs are intriguing but the ysimply crash and burn within the first 50 pages.

Any of you ladies have similar thoughts when reading fiction novels, especially those aimed at us? Have any of you read any books that have rich, complex characters that you can recommend? Please let me know; I need stuff to read before bed -- it's how I unwind and it helps me fall asleep. :)

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :)

Why I'm Throwing Away My Meg Cabot Books

Once upon a time, a 16 year-old Emmy went to see The Princess Diaries on the big screen. Though she never dreamed about being a princess (no, she grew up a tomboy and dreamed about playing soccer), she loved the story. So she started reading and collecting the novels written by Meg Cabot. She was away from the Church, educated in liberal Los Angeles public schools, and was never properly catechized so she read the books focusing on the love story between Mia and Michael. 


When the author (Meg Cabot) got a website and started giving advice to young women when she (Emmy) was 19 and 20, she thought it was great. She continued to read the books even after her reversion. She felt she had invested enough time to see where the series ended. So she got to the last book in the series at age 29... and felt like she had wasted her valuable time. 

At 30, when the Great Book Purge began, she remembered those words a close friend said to her the last time she considered throwing the books away: "But you have the complete series! Don't you want to pass them along to your daughters when they grow up?" The answer this time was a big fat "NO!" So she decided to write a blog post about this topic and here she is now.

Can I stop speaking in third person? Phew! lol. But, really, all of that is true. I did watch the movie based on the series and I did love it. In fact, I still occasionally watch it and its sequel which is nothing like the book. Disney made the films so of course it's a lot cleaner than the books. However, as much as I loved the books as a teenager into my early 20s, I can't say the same anymore.

I've been re-reading the books in the series because I decided to throw them away. No, I'm not even donating them. They're going in the trash bin. The reason I decided to re-read them was because I honestly forgot how the series began. I thought "well, maybe I could keep a book or two for my future daughters" but after going through the first 5 of the 10 (the 11th book is the first and only adult book in the series and it was pretty explicit), I've decided to stop reading them because they just keep on getting worse and worse. My friend's words keep replaying in my mind: "But you have the complete series! Don't you want to pass them along to your daughters when they grew up?" The answer still is: NO!

If you haven't read the series and are wondering if I'd recommend them, well, you can guess what the answer is. If you want to know why, please keep reading. If you're a fan of the series and are having an issue with my objections -- or are planning on reading the series for yourself and don't want any spoilers -- please stop reading because I'm about to give away major spoilers and, yes, I'm going to say why I don't like them.

Re-reading the books from a Catholic point of view, especially as an older person (I don't know if 30 is still considered young adult despite looking and feeling younger than my years), I just couldn't stop objecting to the topics in the series. The deeper I got into the series, the more disturbed I became. 

Mia loves to obsess over her love interests. "Well, all teenage girls do that," you may argue. Not like Mia. She bemoans how her first crush mentioned doesn't sexually harass her. When he turns out to be a cad, she moves onto someone else and then obsesses over him... for the rest of the series. Sure, she dates other guys since they do break up before getting back and staying together, but it's almost always just about Michael. You know how Twilight's Bella Swan is obsessed over Edward "I Spark, I Brood" Cullen? Almost that bad. It's just not a healthy way to look at romance. It's more about how she feels and what would make her (and her hormones) happy. Sure, her friends do try to snap her out of it in their own ways, but Mia's so consumed in her love/lust for Michael that it takes a while for her to see that there's more to life than lusting over your crush/boyfriend.

Morality is seen as subjective. Mia lies. A lot. She only wants to stop lying "or think of better lies" whenever she gets in trouble due to them. And sometimes lies get you out of things you don't want to deal with so, yay lying! Sex is also seen as something you just do. They do touch upon how it seems to a more emotional thing for women than men but that's about it. Mia obsesses about getting to second (then third... etc) base with Michael. Some relationships do seem healthier in terms of the give and take (and not just physically) but, overall, I wouldn't recommend any young women looking to the series for love advice.  
Religion is frequently looked down upon. There's a chapel and Sunday services mentioned in fourth book but it never states what religion she is. She only says that she gets caught writing her obsessing thoughts about Michael in her journal during a service. God's name is misused a whole lot.

I could go on and on about on my objections to the book but you get the gist... and I only got through half the series before calling it quits. The thing is, this is not the only series of Meg's that I have... and will be throwing away. 

The Mediator series is about a high school girl, Suz, who is a -- you guessed it! -- mediator. That is, she can see and talk to ghosts. She helps them "cross over" to the "other side" and there's a lot of scary scrapes she gets into in the process. Sure, there's a priest mentioned in the series -- another mediator who helps ghost cross over -- who is the principal at the Catholic high school where Suz attends but the theology is all wonky. I actually got rid of the sole book I owned of the series (though I read the entire thing thanks to the LAPL) after my reversion because of how uncomfortable they made me felt. Forget the paranormal stuff (there's some real sinister stuff in the books) and the wonky theology (which, in all honesty, I don't remember much of). Suz gets into a relationship with a male ghost who lives in her old room (yep) and some chapters can get pretty steamy for a human-ghost relationship. This gets steamier after (spoiler alert) her hunky ghost boyfriend somehow becomes a flesh and blood human being after being dead for several centuries. Seriously. Um, pass.

Other books includes: a girl saving the president's son from being assassinated, a typical HS girl who helps an actor, a book on how to be popular, etc etc. Hate to say it but I'd rather my future pre-teen and teen daughters not get any ideas from them.

The only book I'm keeping of Meg's (without much objection) is Avalon High. I love this book. Not only does it appeal to my Medieval/Arthurian legend geek side (oh yes, that side exists) but it's something I would have no problem passing along to a future daughter of mine. The heroine is a typical teenager so there are some whiny moments but she's a lot more balanced and closer to the Hermione Granger-type heroines in YA literature. Sure, I would have to explain to my future girls that reincarnation is not a real thing (the book talks about how King Arthur and other figures in the legend are reincarnated time and time again) but I'd focus on some of the other lessons (selflessness, courage, etc.) in the novel.

I'm not saying Meg Cabot is a bad writer. I've actually enjoyed reading her books... but it's the content that I cannot keep. She herself is a nice lady. I met her a couple of years ago (actually, over a decade ago) and she was so encouraging (she even wrote me a letter afterwards) that I appreciate her as someone who is positive with others. 

I'm not a massive fan of the advice she gives her readers, that's for sure. Besides her books, she kept (keeps?) a blog in which she once told a girl that sleeping with guys was fine because it was like trying on a pair of pants -- she had to find one that fit before committing to it. Who wants their teenage daughter to receive that type of advice? I sure don't!

If you like her books and don't have any objections to them, that's totally up to you. I'm not going to judge you for it. However, for me and my "prude" ways, I'd rather not keep anything like that on my bookshelves. Yes, I spent a lot of money completing the series... but that doesn't seem to matter anymore. And, okay, I will keep just ONE of the Princess Diaries books in the spare bookcase in my book cave but that's only because a good friend of mine went through a lot of trouble sending it from Scotland while she was studying at St. Andrews'. They used to release the books in the UK before the U.S. so she sent me a copy before it came out here. However, I won't read it and will only keep it as a reminder of my friendship with her (going on 12-13 years now). 

I posed this question earlier on Twitter but would love to hear from those of you not on Twitter: for those of you who consider yourselves more on the "traddie" side of Catholicism, what are your opinions of paranormal YA novels? Like the ones I described by Meg Cabot, the Mediator series? Would you let your kids read it? Would you have any objections to them? 

Also, for those of you who have read the Princess Diaries series novels, would you recommend them to a future generation? Not looking to debate anyone, just genuinely curious is all :)

Anyway, I'm going to go indulge in some more non-Catholic books (the list is long) since I have only a week before Lent (and my Catholic books only marathon) begins. :D

I hope y'all have had a great week thus far. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

Proud to be a Prude, Part Two

Does anyone remember the blog post I wrote over four years ago, in which I said that I was proud to be a prude? If you're wondering if what 26 year-old me wrote is still relevant to current 30 year-old me... well, say "hello" to the title. ;) I'll tell you exactly what prompted me to write this blog post, too: a book that was highly recommended to me.

As I mentioned yesterday, in my quest to spend less time on social media, I've been taking advantage of the Los Angeles Public Library (LAPL)'s vast collection of audiobooks and eBooks. One of the books -- the first one I started reading this year -- seems to be universally beloved amongst many of my girlfriends so I decided to read it. The book? The Royal We. The verdict? Returned to the LAPL after five read chapters.

I know I'm going to get a lot of judgments for saying this (especially because of my age) but I just don't like reading books or watching shows or movies with sex in them. I'm sorry, I just don't. I made it through the first five chapters of The Royal We before I just couldn't keep ignoring how much of the "hooking up" was mentioned. While it never got explicit, I was just not comfortable reading it. In fact, I've never been comfortable reading or watching anything close to it in general.

Four years ago I wrote that my imagination was wildly vivid and it's still true. I know that once an idea is put into my mind, it's hard to get it out. If I read something, it'll replay in my mind until something else captures my imagination. Books tend to stay with me for a long time after I read them. Having said that, I knew that I don't want to go there with all sex mentioned.

I've been trying to undo the years of the "experimentation and 'self-discovery' is good" propaganda that I was fed from my pre-teens through my early 20s. I mean, I never fully bought it but it was still (repeatedly) taught that things like looking at pornography out of curiosity or self-pleasure was all "normal" and that not doing it was unusual. 13 years of public school and undergraduate education in liberal Los Angeles... you do the math. My parents fought that mentality as much as they could -- even refusing to sign the waiver to let me watch the sex-ed video in health class; I had to leave the classroom when those were played -- opting for my mom's guidance on the subject. For that I'm grateful, but you know kids. The information was going to get to me through classmates anyway. Even though pornography was seen as "no big deal" amongst my peers and even some of my professors at certain schools, I knew it was destructive.

I've seen what pornography does to people with my own eyes. I've witnessed the effects in two people I grew up with, a man and a woman. I'll keep it vague though I have the permission of the woman to share this. The man's addiction was closeted but I knew one of his children still had access to things they should never had seen. His marriage suffered because of his addiction to it. The woman ended up developing an addiction to it in her adult years -- it became easy for her to access it to the internet -- and that addiction spanned for a couple of years. She said it was hard to break but was able to do it when she shunned it and kept God on her mind (she had developed the addiction while away from the Church). Though she successfully overcame it a few years ago, it has scarred her and she still has to be careful not to go anywhere near those things to this day.

All of those books and movies with sex scenes may seem harmless to people but they can very easily manipulate you into thinking that it's no big deal. It's all fiction. It's not real. It's true... but it can become a very real thing. Maybe people will be calling me a prude... too religious... too cautious. Maybe I am all of those things. However, I don't want to put myself in a position that I'll later have to take to the confessional.

It's a slippery slope -- "no big deal" becomes "ohh, I can watch this because I'm strong enough" to viewing things that get more and more graphic. "No, I can definitely remember this is fiction," you may argue. "I'm not weak. I have a strong will that will keep me from developing an addiction." Maybe you can, but many can't. I may be able to differentiate between fiction and reality but I just don't want to risk it. I know myself, I know my mind and my will power, and I know that it's simply not worth it to me to basically tempt myself.

I gladly accept all the judgments that come my way because, in the end, it's my life and it's my comfortable level. Books and other entertainment which I consider a kind of "gateway drug" are just not my cup of tea. I'm not going to judge you if you don't have an issue with these things; everyone has their own limits. As I wrote all those years ago, I'm not against sex. It's a beautiful and healthy thing within a marriage... or so I'm guessing since I'm not married and have not experienced that part of life. lol. Still, even when I do get married, I highly doubt I'll ever be comfortable reading or seeing it. It's just the kind of person that I am.

Authors: c'mon, y'all... you can write a great book without having sex so heavily focused! Why do you think I even became a YA/NA writer (besides my love of writing)? Because I was tired of seeing so much sex in books. Yes, it's the norm with young adults but, newsflash, not all young adults are into books like that. There are some who prefer cleaner book. Shocking, I know.

Anyway, come at me (with those negative comments), bro! lol. I'm done with my little mini rant-like blog post. ;) I'm going to go read another book and hope for better results. lol.

I hope y'all are having a great week thus far!

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

Why I Decided to Be a (Catholic) YA/New Adult Author

Recently I've been re-reading the books that I read as a teenager and a young adult. Yes, I'm still technically a young adult at 29 but I'm talking about my early to mid 20s. If you're following me on Goodreads, you know which books I've re-read... and have re-rated. Part of the reason why I'm re-reading the books is due to nostalgia and the other part is research. Both When Two Worlds Collide and London Calling are considered New Adult books so I'm curious to the kinds of stories other YA/New Adult authors write. The research has led me to the decision to be a "Catholic author."

Most of the books I'm re-reading were read prior my reversion... and I have to remind myself of that fact whenever I read something that makes me cringe. I made it only 28 pages into the first book in a series I used to like because I couldn't stomach the protagonist of the series. It's unlike me to not finish a book but I couldn't continue. The main character becomes mortified over the fact that she wasn't aware that she was being sexually harassed by her best friend's older brother... but she's upset over the "clueless" moment rather than the act itself. She also comments that she wishes that her crush would actually sexually harass her. A few pages later she expresses disappointment that the only guy to ever "feel her up" was a blind man and not someone else worthy of the act. *headdesk* Please. Stop.

A big reason why I decided to become a (Catholic) YA author is because I've heard friends lament over the fact that they can't find contemporary YA novels that aren't saturated with questionable content that goes against Church teachings... or outright drags them through the mud. I've had friends who have teenage daughters express disappointment over the content that it out there for their daughters. I had these comments in mind when I edited the first Will and Lina novel and wrote the second one. Spoiler alert: I infused Faith into the books for obvious reasons... though I tried to do it in a way that wasn't preachy.

When I started writing, I didn't set out to be a "Catholic author." I just wanted to write books... even if no one but my friends read them. As my novels progressed, I knew that no one could deny that I was a Catholic writer. Catholicism is infused into the stories, even if it's not immediately obvious. I'm nowhere near the likes of Catholic authors like G.K. Chesterton, Evelyn Waugh, J.R.R. Tolkien, Flannery O'Connor, Dean Koontz, or even Regina Doman (who has written great YA novels). However, I've made the decision to be the kind of author that young women (and, really, anyone) could read without having to worry about content that would go against Church teachings. Sure, some characters do some really shady things (for those who've read the first novel, one word: Candace) but even through the bad times, there's a light present.

I know the fact that I've chosen to be identified as a Catholic YA author means I've already alienated many readers, but I'm okay with it. I'd rather lose readers who would rather not "deal" with Catholicism in their novels than risk leading others down the wrong path (a path away from God) for the sake of making money or becoming popular. If it goes against Church teachings it's either not going into the novels or will be dealt with according to our beliefs. If I would never say it to my nieces, nephews, or my godson, it won't make it into the novels. There's already too much garbage around and I refuse to contribute to it.

For those of you who are worried that the novels will be preachy, I can tell you that I hope to never do that. Like I said, Catholicism is infused into the novels but sometimes the themes are not glaringly obvious. Sometimes the theme is on mercy and redemption. Sometimes a character is Catholic and they attend Mass in the story before they do something else. See? Nothing too "believe this, you heathen!" about it. lol. I'm not going to shove my beliefs down people's throats but I'm not going to shy away from the fact that I believe certain things. Seriously, just ask anyone who's read one or both of my novels.

Anyway, I just wanted to share this. Originally I was going to write about all the cringe-worthy things I'd read in YA novels but 1) it wouldn't have been very charitable of me and 2) I'd really rather use my money to pay for grad school than to pay off lawsuits from miffed authors. lol. ;)

I hope y'all had a great weekend and have a stellar week. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

My Literary Heroine

As I stated a few blog posts ago, I've been re-reading the Anne of Green Gables series with my good friend (and rock star editor/only person to have read part of the novel sequel), Kiera. We're currently a couple of books into the series and I'm loving it. There is one curious thing about this re-read though; I've come to realize that I am Anne Shirley. This got me thinking about something: we gals tends to either identify with or try to emulate literary heroines we admire. Furthermore, who have I chosen as my ideal literary heroine? Someone I identify with or someone I want to be like?

I'm a Janeite through and through. I've been a member of JASNA and JASNA-SW. I own all the novels and mini-series DVDs. I can tell you the stories of the heroines and the heroes as if they were my own stories. Some of my closest friends (who are also Janeites) have nicknamed me "Jane" after Miss Jane Bennet, eldest daughter of the Bennet family in Pride and Prejudice. She's quiet, reserved, doesn't show her emotions readily (even to her closest sister, Elizabeth), and feels deeper than she shows. However, I have never fully identified as a Jane.

I am quiet and reserved... but most of the quietness fades when I get to know someone well enough to let my silliness through. I don't share my feelings so easily with everyone but I am getting better about sharing them with the people who mean the most to me. I do feel deeply but I also know that people can just take one look at me and know what I'm feeling. So, no, I'm not really Jane. I'm a "combination of Jane Bennet (quietness and reserve), Catherine Morland (imagination and innocence), Anne Elliot (steadfastness and loyalty), and Elinor Dashwood (practical and sensible)" as one close friend says. Still, even a combo isn't really close to how I am. I don't see myself in any of them... even the combo. As much as these women are awesome heroines, I don't choose them (or any other Austen heroine) as my preferred literary heroine. That honor goes to Anne Shirley.

Anne is an INFP, just like me. Anne had a fiery temperature as a child that eventually gets reigned in as an adult. I certainly have a bit of a temper when I'm pushed beyond my limit (who doesn't?) but instead of breaking a slate over someone's head, I get quiet. I internalize things instead of arguing with someone... and I will get over it within minutes. Anne had nothing at the beginning of the series. She was orphaned and she initially wasn't wanted but she was eventually taken in by the Cuthberts, received an education, and even graduated with a B.A. which was rare for a woman to do in the Edwardian era. I wasn't orphaned (I didn't experience the loss of a parent until I was 24 years-old) but I do come from a socioeconomic background in which the odds were stacked against me from the beginning. Neither of my parents went beyond a junior high education, no one (brothers nor sister) graduated from high school, and college never entered anyone's hopes and dreams. Like Anne, I put my B.A. dreams on hold for a couple of years when there was an illness in the family but, also like Anne, I don't regret that decision. Now I'm nearly 2/3 through my second degree with a brighter future than I could've ever dreamed for myself.

Most of you might not know this (since the majority of you have only known me as an adult), but I used to get in trouble in school for talking. A lot and often. My report cards (some of which I still have) used to have "talks too much in class" comments. However, as I got older, I became less talkative.

"There were other changes in Anne no less real than the physical change. For one thing, she became much quieter. Perhaps she thought all the more and dreamed as much as ever, but she certainly talked less."

This was the exact passage that made me realize that Anne was the literary version of myself, more so than all the Austen heroines combined. I definitely become quieter around middle school and it's stayed that way since. I have a lot of thoughts bouncing around in my head but I just write them down. My best friend growing up started giving me notebooks as birthday presents when we were teenagers for this very reason. He noticed that I always writing and/or dreaming up things (much like Anne) so he gave me notebook; I went through them quickly, too.

All of these things (and many more that would be too long to list) are part of why I chose Anne as my literary heroine. I see my faults in her faults. I see my strengths and weaknesses in her own. I notice things I don't like about her and realize that those are the same things I have to work on. All the things that I admire about her, I've come to accept (with reluctance, lol) as things that I also possess. I know she's not real; I know she's partially a figment of L.M. Montgomery's imagination. Still, isn't it great to find a "kindred spirit" that helps you grow as a person... even one that only lives in pages and imaginations?

A few weeks ago, I confided in a good friend that I was thinking about giving up writing because I didn't think what I wrote made a difference in anyone's life. He reminded me that the authors that I admire have made a positive impact on me... and that they would never know it. I thought about Jane Austen and agreed that it made sense but it wasn't until I re-read the words of L.M. Montgomery that my friend's word really hit me. Just as I have chosen Anne as my literary heroine, I hope that someday my literary heroines (like Lina Zamora) will be someone else's literary heroine, even if I never find out. And, again, no, Lina is not entirely based on me though we do share certain similarities. I think I'm more Anne Shirley than I am Lina Zamora, to be honest. My friends will have to be the judges here. lol.

I just wanted to share this because I've seen a big surge in Anne of Green Gables readers amongst us in the (female) Catholic world lately.  Oh! And, out of curiosity, who are some of YOUR literary heroines and why? I'd love to know. :)

Anyway, I should get back to studying. I have three exams in the next week (one on Friday and two next Monday) and I really want to do well so I'm going to be focusing on that and homework this week. If I don't get a chance to write again until after my last exam, have a great week! :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

10 Things You Might've Not Known About This Nerd

I have done this twice before and like to revive the tradition every two years-ish. The first one was written in 2009 and the last one was written in late 2011 so I think it's time to do one again, especially since I have a ton of new readers. So, without further ado, some things you might've not known about me.

1. At my graduation last year, I walked across the stage with my head down out of sheer panic. Those who have met me in person know that I am really shy and quiet when I first meet people and that I hate any sort of attention on me. Since the graduation ceremony was held at the Universal Amphitheater (read: HUGE place), I was utterly uncomfortable with the attention. It didn't help that each graduate's walk across the stage was on a huge screen. When they called my name, I think I turned bright red, looked down at my feet, and walked off-stage as quickly as my little feet could carry me. lol.

2. I actually don't like being a freelance writer; I'd rather tutor than write... Don't get me wrong, I love writing. Any time I get a chance to write something Catholic related or work on something that I can create with my wild imagination, I am happy. Sadly, most of my assignments have been a pain to write and/or the clients have been very rude and picky. "300 words exactly, not one less or more or you'll do it over again." "You call that an article? You didn't follow my directions to a T so now I am docking your pay!" Yikes! The only non-Catholic ones that I've really enjoyed have been the articles I've written for H&R Block's blog.

3. ... but if I could make a living out of writing fiction/novels, I'd rather do that than anything else. I am way behind schedule on finishing my novel (and the sequel has actually been started) because I've had to rewrite a couple of things to make the plot flow better. Thankfully I have an amazing beta reader/editor (Kiera) who helps me immensely. If I can make a career out of writing, I'm hiring her as my editor... even if she doesn't know it yet. lol. Oh, and I think the Spotify playlists for the main characters are still up if you want to try to figure out their personalities.

4. My way of "handling" things such as violence and/or death is by feeling faint. This is a symptom of PTSD. Seeing my father die right in front of me and living in an apartment complex that has had both a bomb threat (for which everyone except my father and I were evacuated) and a shooting that took place in our section. Even if I know someone's death is fictional (like Lady Sybil's death on Downton Abbey), I will feel like I'm going to pass out. Now friends will know why I will pass on action films.

5. I like to have "themed" literary months. December will always be Jane Austen month for me. November is the Chronicles of Narnia month. October is Catholic saints month. etc. Sometimes the theme is "finish reading all the books you started but didn't complete" because I tend to read at least 2-3 books at a time and sometimes I am so busy with work that they get pushed aside for weeks at a time.

6. I make way too many references to my favorite books, shows, and songs when talking to people. The top 5: Jane Austen ("You have no compassion for my poor nerves!"), Doctor Who (usually about the TARDIS being drunk), Elf ("you sit on a throne of lies!"), Mean Girls (I don't actually love this movie but it's so quotable; "Four for you *insert first name* Coco. You go, *insert first name* Coco."), and The Philadelphia Story ("Oh, C.K. Dexter Haaaaaveeeen...").

7. My friends love to take me shopping when they need something because the Hufflepuff in me can find things very quickly. Yes, that was a Harry Potter/A Very Potter Musical reference... and, yes, I got sorted into the Hufflepuff house on Pottermore. I am a Hufflepuff. Anyway, I have a knack for finding things incredibly fast so my girlfriends like taking me to stores so that I can cut their shopping time by more than half. Last time I did it, I found an entire outfit for one of my good friends in less than 15 minutes... and through racks she'd already gone through. Before that, I was taken to a record store to find some awesome vinyls of the jazz/blues genre for a friend's boyfriend. I should charge for my services. lol. 

8. I drive like a grandma according to some people. I stick to speed limits and will rarely go faster and that drives some of my friends crazy. I'm sorry but the speed limits are there for a reason and if you've ever driven in L.A., you know why I'm super cautious when I drive. People be cray cray. There are way too many almost accidents in my part of L.A.

9. Though I stink at html, graphics, and all of that, I am very proud of myself for creating the blog's new look. Yes, I only customized a Blogger template and I didn't make the banner graphic (I only found the font and used it to write "Journey of a Catholic Nerd Writer") but still. Better than nothing! I am happy because the previous layout was too cluttered for my taste (it was made that way by someone else). Let me have this little moment of happiness. Please. 

10. Every person and time in my life has a song unintentionally assigned to them. I'm very musically inclined (and I actually miss my guitar very much at the moment) so this isn't that much of a surprise. Every friend has a song that I associate them with. Every big event in my life has a song attached to it. However, no one knows what songs they are... and they may never know. ;) I will say that friends have done the same to me and the top 3 I get are "Rhapsody in Blue" by George Gershwin, "Sing Sing Sing" by Benny Goodman, and "Georgia on my Mind" by Ray Charles -- all favorite songs of mine.

And now you know a little more about me. I am going to go work on my novel now since I have loads of free time tonight. :D Hope this wasn't too boring for y'all. 

As always, thanks for reading and God bless. :D

Book Dilemma

I'm in the midst of my incredibly belated Spring cleaning (couldn't during the actual Spring as I had too much homework the entire semester long), I've come across a lot of great memories as well as some I'd like to forget. Some things go into a filing cabinet (I love being organized), some go into a shoe box which I will eventually decorate, and others go into the paper shredder. There are a few things I have come across that I can't really put into any of the options... including books.

As a bibliophile, I love that I have more books than I have space for the books. The number of saint biographies, books on vocations, theological books, etc. are even (rapidly) outnumbering the number of non-religious nonfiction and fiction novels and books I have. While I am keeping a number of books that have nothing to do with religion as there are a number of great novels -- i.e. Jane Austen -- that are a great read, I am going to have to get rid of a couple of novels that really do not help at all. The books I'm having the biggest trouble trying to make a decision for are the Twilight series and Princess Diaries series books.

Early last year I sort of reviewed the books (but mostly the first movie) and I had good things to say about them. I still stand by my words of being glad they were pro-life and pro-abstinence at first glance (based on the "ooh, if Edward and Bella can wait until marriage, I can too" mentality from young women)... only, as I read them again, I realized that a) there is way too much Mormon theology embedded in the books and b) the pro-life and pro-abstinence messages aren't really true to what chastity and modesty is. I will eventually do a more thorough review later this month but for now let's say that after examining my conscience, I came to the conclusion that there is no way I can keep these books with peace of mind. Now the dilemma comes in: Do I throw them away, donate them, or do I simply sell them and donate the money to the parish?

On one hand: if I donate them, I help libraries out. If I sell them: my parish gets the money it would need for the simple upkeep of it as I wouldn't want to keep the money. But, in doing either I think I'd be contributing to the moral decay of the youth. Someone called the Twilight books "girl pornography" which, on close examination, is actually pretty dead on. The lustful thoughts and images a reader can get (especially in the last book) is enough to get one to confession on Saturday. It seems like the obvious choice (and became moreso while I was typing this out) would be to throw them away but it isn't so for other books.

I have other fiction novels and series of books that I've collected over the years (notably the Princess Diaries series -- Shhh! lol). Some of the books are pretty inoffensive but as the heroine in the series grows up, it gets into territories where I don't think young women should go. Just to give you a hint as to what I mean: the protagonist says that women must "try on different pairs of pants until she find one that fits" meaning that women must sleep with whomever she's seeing until she finds the man that is most compatible with them. What do I do with these books? Do I donate or sell the earlier books in the series in which the heroine was more innocent or do I simply throw away the entire series (or anything written by the author) due to how the series (or book) ends?

I'm sort of torn so any advice and/or your own points of view are greatly appreciated.

At the moment I'm reading The Shadow of the Bear by Regina Doman. (side note: My little sister, Delaney, lent it to me along with a book on the Four Temperaments (which I will review soon) in exchange for a biography of Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati. Yay for Catholic book pals. lol) So far it's so good I don't want to put it down and it's giving me hope that my own novel that I am still working on (going through editing at the moment) will get the message of our Catholic faith across (though only one of the main characters is Catholic) without sounding too preachy or too stereotypical.

Okay, I need to get back to cleaning so I can get back to The Shadow of the Bear. lol. I hope y'all have a great rest of days. And, again, any and all advice is welcomed. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D

Is My Novel Catholic Literature?

As many of you have read, via my twitter, I have been hard at work on my novel in the past couple of weeks. In fact, the sequel is already in the works as well. (There are a total of 3 planned books in the series.) I have been working on this novel for quite some time now... and it's taken longer because a few chapters are being re-written. There are a few reasons for this, mostly because I want to make it more realistic (and closer to actual events that inspired certain chapters and characters). With these changes I've gotten one question: are the changes done to make the novel more Catholic? The answer is no... because I already had the fate of the characters and the story in mind when I was still dreaming up how I would flesh out the story and dialog.

SPOILERS AHEAD (Skip to the next paragraph if you don't want to know the themes).
From the beginning, the character Lina was always going to be Catholic and the character Will was not. That's how it is in real life - I'm obviously Catholic and the inspiration for Will's character is not. Though I (and thus Lina) don't shove Catholicism down the reader's throat, I do mention it and other things we believe such as being pro-life, pro-abstinence, and attending Mass and confessions regularly. It's a part of who Lina is. If this qualifies it as Catholic literature, then I guess it is. Again, I do this without being preachy.

I've always disliked books that try to convert me to whatever the author's religion is. Nice try, but not even professor and classes at school have succeeded. As a Religious Studies major at a public college (for now... I return to my Catholic college next semester), I've studied the various religions and all of them have just strengthen my faith. I'm just going to write about Catholicism the way it is, the way one lives it faithfully, without any secret motives. I've read many books in which a character is Catholic, but the way they are portrayed is horrible. Either they are Catholic but they "fall away" and start sinning like crazy, or they're portrayed as being completely psychotic and obsessed about their faith to the point where they hurt others around them. It totally ticks me off that there aren't enough good Catholic characters in literature, but I hope so change that (with the little I can do). I am not saying that Lina will be "perfect" Catholic model, because I know I'm certainly not, but I hope that people who aren't Catholic will realize that we're not the way we've been portrayed in literature (or the media for that matter).

As for how the none Catholic characters (like Will) will fare... well, I guess you'll just have to read the novel. I did not bash any religion or any person's lack of religion. I just wrote things as close to real life as I could; portraying how life actually is... not how idealistic or pessimistic it can be, like in other fictional stories.

And while I'm still thinking about this... I forgot I have to go rewrite a certain chapter. This is what happens when you start off with one idea and then, as you write, it changes course -- for the better! At this rate, I'll never get done. lol. I hope I will before the semester starts next month. I'm averaging about 4,000-5,000 words per night, but I don't write every day/night. We'll see. :)

Alright, I guess I should go back and work on it for a bit. :D OH!! If you're a Facebook bud, keep your peepers open because I'll be uploading pictures of places mentioned in the novel. Sort of a sneak peak thing without knowing anything about what happens at these locations. :D

That's it for now. I need to get some dinner in me and then spend the night writing. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless!