It's That Time Again...

It's been a long time since I've done one of these. I think I'm averaging one every 2-3 years. Anyway, here are 10 facts you might've not known about me.

1. I was big into science as a kid... especially astronomy and dinosaurs. Going to the Griffith Observatory still reminds me of the first time I went and how stoked I was about learning about the planets. I also loved building models of dinosaur skeletons. I have to admit, I knew I had to save the article about the new director of the Vatican Observatory when I read it because I'm still interested in astronomy. Yeah, I wasn't kidding when I said I have nerd tendencies. lol.

2. I have a tendency to be "late to the party." I was one of the last people in my class to get a computer. I didn't have a cell phone until I was 19. I didn't get an iPod until I was 22-33. I didn't start driving / get my license until I was 25. I'm obviously not getting married nor having any children "young" (under 30) either. *shrugs* It is what it is. lol.

3. I've worn glasses since I was 6 years old but very few friends (especially those who met me after I turned 16) have ever seen me wear them. The reason for this is because I prefer contacts, especially when I know I'm going to be active (think hiking, running, playing a sport, etc.) or driving. Unless you catch me at home during one of my "introvert days," you probably will never see me wear them... at least not outside of pictures.

4. This one is for the ladies: I can't wear lipstick or, really, a lot of make-up. I have an odd skin tone that can range from being light and a bit pale (think more of the pink/yellow undertones) in the winter months to very much olive tone in the summer. I've never successfully found a lipstick that works for my complexion. Same goes for eyeshadow and foundation/power. It suits me just fine; I think I'm too low maintenance for a whole makeup routine anyway. lol.

5. I've "renounced my claim" to all Jane Austen heroes, including Henry Tilney and George Knightley. lol. I also came to realize I'm more of an Anne Shirley than I am a Jane Bennet / Anne Elliot. I still love Austen novels and one of my best friends still calls me Jane (after Jane Bennet) but I'm more likely to re-read the Anne books. This may or may not also mean I now pray for a Gilbert Blythe-type to make me swoon. I'm only half serious. lol.

6. I don't put much stock into those personality / temperament tests as I used to. Though I still get mostly INFP on the Myers-Briggs tests, I've gotten INTP or INFJ as well. As for the Four Temperaments tests, I can get either Phlegmatic-Sanguine or Phlegmatic-Melancholic. I think I'm a little too "outgoing" and silly for the Melancholic one. lol. Either I'm changing (which shouldn't influence the results; these tests are based on personality traits from birth) or the tests and traits are getting tweaked. Either way, I'm going to go with the first results: INFP and Phlegmatic-Sanguine because those sound the most like me.

7. I grew up being very superstitious because my dad was uber superstitious. In recent years I've been trying to make myself do things I was superstitious about. I'm now "fearless" about doing things I once considered bad luck... meaning I'll do it, unless trying it will land me in the hospital or in jail. lol.

8. For an introvert and someone who can easily get embarrassed, I definitely have my "homegirl no care" moments. Examples: I sing and dance in the aisles of stores, I sing and dance in my car, um... let's just say I sing and/or dance in a lot of places because I forget people are watching/listening to me.

9. I did the whole cheerleading/dancing/drill team thing up until freshman/sophomore year of high school. I've just always loved dancing and, really, I did whatever I could to avoid regular P.E. lol. It ended when 1) I had to choose between academics and drill team (I chose academics) and 2) then they gave us a cap with how many dance classes would count towards P.E. credits. If you're wondering, I've always been an introvert so I wasn't one of the girls everyone knew. I still did my own thing. Again, I did it to avoid regular P.E. lol.

10. One more for the "but you're an introvert" file: I did the whole choir / singing thing from childhood into my teens. I just liked doing it. As I got older I began gravitating more towards instruments (piano and guitar). Now: good luck hearing me sing and/or play an instrument. lol. I took the Anne Shirley route and went from being very talkative as a child to being a lot more reserved as I got older.

That's it. Now you know stuff you probably didn't care about about me. lol. ;)

My Literary Heroine

As I stated a few blog posts ago, I've been re-reading the Anne of Green Gables series with my good friend (and rock star editor/only person to have read part of the novel sequel), Kiera. We're currently a couple of books into the series and I'm loving it. There is one curious thing about this re-read though; I've come to realize that I am Anne Shirley. This got me thinking about something: we gals tends to either identify with or try to emulate literary heroines we admire. Furthermore, who have I chosen as my ideal literary heroine? Someone I identify with or someone I want to be like?

I'm a Janeite through and through. I've been a member of JASNA and JASNA-SW. I own all the novels and mini-series DVDs. I can tell you the stories of the heroines and the heroes as if they were my own stories. Some of my closest friends (who are also Janeites) have nicknamed me "Jane" after Miss Jane Bennet, eldest daughter of the Bennet family in Pride and Prejudice. She's quiet, reserved, doesn't show her emotions readily (even to her closest sister, Elizabeth), and feels deeper than she shows. However, I have never fully identified as a Jane.

I am quiet and reserved... but most of the quietness fades when I get to know someone well enough to let my silliness through. I don't share my feelings so easily with everyone but I am getting better about sharing them with the people who mean the most to me. I do feel deeply but I also know that people can just take one look at me and know what I'm feeling. So, no, I'm not really Jane. I'm a "combination of Jane Bennet (quietness and reserve), Catherine Morland (imagination and innocence), Anne Elliot (steadfastness and loyalty), and Elinor Dashwood (practical and sensible)" as one close friend says. Still, even a combo isn't really close to how I am. I don't see myself in any of them... even the combo. As much as these women are awesome heroines, I don't choose them (or any other Austen heroine) as my preferred literary heroine. That honor goes to Anne Shirley.

Anne is an INFP, just like me. Anne had a fiery temperature as a child that eventually gets reigned in as an adult. I certainly have a bit of a temper when I'm pushed beyond my limit (who doesn't?) but instead of breaking a slate over someone's head, I get quiet. I internalize things instead of arguing with someone... and I will get over it within minutes. Anne had nothing at the beginning of the series. She was orphaned and she initially wasn't wanted but she was eventually taken in by the Cuthberts, received an education, and even graduated with a B.A. which was rare for a woman to do in the Edwardian era. I wasn't orphaned (I didn't experience the loss of a parent until I was 24 years-old) but I do come from a socioeconomic background in which the odds were stacked against me from the beginning. Neither of my parents went beyond a junior high education, no one (brothers nor sister) graduated from high school, and college never entered anyone's hopes and dreams. Like Anne, I put my B.A. dreams on hold for a couple of years when there was an illness in the family but, also like Anne, I don't regret that decision. Now I'm nearly 2/3 through my second degree with a brighter future than I could've ever dreamed for myself.

Most of you might not know this (since the majority of you have only known me as an adult), but I used to get in trouble in school for talking. A lot and often. My report cards (some of which I still have) used to have "talks too much in class" comments. However, as I got older, I became less talkative.

"There were other changes in Anne no less real than the physical change. For one thing, she became much quieter. Perhaps she thought all the more and dreamed as much as ever, but she certainly talked less."

This was the exact passage that made me realize that Anne was the literary version of myself, more so than all the Austen heroines combined. I definitely become quieter around middle school and it's stayed that way since. I have a lot of thoughts bouncing around in my head but I just write them down. My best friend growing up started giving me notebooks as birthday presents when we were teenagers for this very reason. He noticed that I always writing and/or dreaming up things (much like Anne) so he gave me notebook; I went through them quickly, too.

All of these things (and many more that would be too long to list) are part of why I chose Anne as my literary heroine. I see my faults in her faults. I see my strengths and weaknesses in her own. I notice things I don't like about her and realize that those are the same things I have to work on. All the things that I admire about her, I've come to accept (with reluctance, lol) as things that I also possess. I know she's not real; I know she's partially a figment of L.M. Montgomery's imagination. Still, isn't it great to find a "kindred spirit" that helps you grow as a person... even one that only lives in pages and imaginations?

A few weeks ago, I confided in a good friend that I was thinking about giving up writing because I didn't think what I wrote made a difference in anyone's life. He reminded me that the authors that I admire have made a positive impact on me... and that they would never know it. I thought about Jane Austen and agreed that it made sense but it wasn't until I re-read the words of L.M. Montgomery that my friend's word really hit me. Just as I have chosen Anne as my literary heroine, I hope that someday my literary heroines (like Lina Zamora) will be someone else's literary heroine, even if I never find out. And, again, no, Lina is not entirely based on me though we do share certain similarities. I think I'm more Anne Shirley than I am Lina Zamora, to be honest. My friends will have to be the judges here. lol.

I just wanted to share this because I've seen a big surge in Anne of Green Gables readers amongst us in the (female) Catholic world lately.  Oh! And, out of curiosity, who are some of YOUR literary heroines and why? I'd love to know. :)

Anyway, I should get back to studying. I have three exams in the next week (one on Friday and two next Monday) and I really want to do well so I'm going to be focusing on that and homework this week. If I don't get a chance to write again until after my last exam, have a great week! :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

10 Things You Might've Not Known About This Nerd

I have done this twice before and like to revive the tradition every two years-ish. The first one was written in 2009 and the last one was written in late 2011 so I think it's time to do one again, especially since I have a ton of new readers. So, without further ado, some things you might've not known about me.

1. At my graduation last year, I walked across the stage with my head down out of sheer panic. Those who have met me in person know that I am really shy and quiet when I first meet people and that I hate any sort of attention on me. Since the graduation ceremony was held at the Universal Amphitheater (read: HUGE place), I was utterly uncomfortable with the attention. It didn't help that each graduate's walk across the stage was on a huge screen. When they called my name, I think I turned bright red, looked down at my feet, and walked off-stage as quickly as my little feet could carry me. lol.

2. I actually don't like being a freelance writer; I'd rather tutor than write... Don't get me wrong, I love writing. Any time I get a chance to write something Catholic related or work on something that I can create with my wild imagination, I am happy. Sadly, most of my assignments have been a pain to write and/or the clients have been very rude and picky. "300 words exactly, not one less or more or you'll do it over again." "You call that an article? You didn't follow my directions to a T so now I am docking your pay!" Yikes! The only non-Catholic ones that I've really enjoyed have been the articles I've written for H&R Block's blog.

3. ... but if I could make a living out of writing fiction/novels, I'd rather do that than anything else. I am way behind schedule on finishing my novel (and the sequel has actually been started) because I've had to rewrite a couple of things to make the plot flow better. Thankfully I have an amazing beta reader/editor (Kiera) who helps me immensely. If I can make a career out of writing, I'm hiring her as my editor... even if she doesn't know it yet. lol. Oh, and I think the Spotify playlists for the main characters are still up if you want to try to figure out their personalities.

4. My way of "handling" things such as violence and/or death is by feeling faint. This is a symptom of PTSD. Seeing my father die right in front of me and living in an apartment complex that has had both a bomb threat (for which everyone except my father and I were evacuated) and a shooting that took place in our section. Even if I know someone's death is fictional (like Lady Sybil's death on Downton Abbey), I will feel like I'm going to pass out. Now friends will know why I will pass on action films.

5. I like to have "themed" literary months. December will always be Jane Austen month for me. November is the Chronicles of Narnia month. October is Catholic saints month. etc. Sometimes the theme is "finish reading all the books you started but didn't complete" because I tend to read at least 2-3 books at a time and sometimes I am so busy with work that they get pushed aside for weeks at a time.

6. I make way too many references to my favorite books, shows, and songs when talking to people. The top 5: Jane Austen ("You have no compassion for my poor nerves!"), Doctor Who (usually about the TARDIS being drunk), Elf ("you sit on a throne of lies!"), Mean Girls (I don't actually love this movie but it's so quotable; "Four for you *insert first name* Coco. You go, *insert first name* Coco."), and The Philadelphia Story ("Oh, C.K. Dexter Haaaaaveeeen...").

7. My friends love to take me shopping when they need something because the Hufflepuff in me can find things very quickly. Yes, that was a Harry Potter/A Very Potter Musical reference... and, yes, I got sorted into the Hufflepuff house on Pottermore. I am a Hufflepuff. Anyway, I have a knack for finding things incredibly fast so my girlfriends like taking me to stores so that I can cut their shopping time by more than half. Last time I did it, I found an entire outfit for one of my good friends in less than 15 minutes... and through racks she'd already gone through. Before that, I was taken to a record store to find some awesome vinyls of the jazz/blues genre for a friend's boyfriend. I should charge for my services. lol. 

8. I drive like a grandma according to some people. I stick to speed limits and will rarely go faster and that drives some of my friends crazy. I'm sorry but the speed limits are there for a reason and if you've ever driven in L.A., you know why I'm super cautious when I drive. People be cray cray. There are way too many almost accidents in my part of L.A.

9. Though I stink at html, graphics, and all of that, I am very proud of myself for creating the blog's new look. Yes, I only customized a Blogger template and I didn't make the banner graphic (I only found the font and used it to write "Journey of a Catholic Nerd Writer") but still. Better than nothing! I am happy because the previous layout was too cluttered for my taste (it was made that way by someone else). Let me have this little moment of happiness. Please. 

10. Every person and time in my life has a song unintentionally assigned to them. I'm very musically inclined (and I actually miss my guitar very much at the moment) so this isn't that much of a surprise. Every friend has a song that I associate them with. Every big event in my life has a song attached to it. However, no one knows what songs they are... and they may never know. ;) I will say that friends have done the same to me and the top 3 I get are "Rhapsody in Blue" by George Gershwin, "Sing Sing Sing" by Benny Goodman, and "Georgia on my Mind" by Ray Charles -- all favorite songs of mine.

And now you know a little more about me. I am going to go work on my novel now since I have loads of free time tonight. :D Hope this wasn't too boring for y'all. 

As always, thanks for reading and God bless. :D

What I Learned Wednesday #8

To be honest, I wasn't sure I was going to write anything because I've been slacking on the learning this week. In fact, I've had a terrible week. I failed to go to Mass on Sunday. I unintentionally missed three consecutive day (Sunday through Tuesday) of praying the Little Office of the Blessed Virgin Mary in the morning. I've just had a slow and weird week. However, I have been taking off some time from social networks (Twitter, FB, etc) to think through some changes I need (and want) to make. So, here it goes.

1) The 200th anniversary of Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice was this past Monday. I didn't get to re-read the novel for the anniversary as I was re-reading Northanger Abbey (another one of my favorites by Jane). If you haven't already guessed from my insane amount of #Janeite tweets, from watching my Goodreads feed, or from the font in this blog's header (hint: it's her handwriting font), I am a massive Jane Austen fan. The first Tiber River book review I wrote was even on the Pride and Prejudice Study Guide. One of my best friends, Kathryn, sent me this Jane Austen Devotional during my senior year of college but I never got to it with my Thesis and everything else. In fact, I'm going to start it tonight and hope to have a review next Wednesday at the latest. If I get done earlier, I'll write a stand alone book review. Anyway, even though I know Jane Austen was Anglican and the book will undoubtedly reflect that, I have a feeling I'll still learn something. Some of my more spiritually fruitful periods as a Catholic have actually been inspired by my amazingly faithful Christian (read: non-Catholic) friends like Kathryn so I look forward to having it inspire me once again. :D

2) I got two things out of my ten minute conversation with my First Communion Godmother: 1) I feel like I got a sign that maybe I'm onto something with a possible change of career/Masters degree and 2) I really need to make some changes (like I mentioned at the beginning of this post; which I won't get into until #3). The career change is actually still somehow connected to words, only spoken instead of written. I had mentioned that it was hard to get steady freelance work (though I've had a couple of steady assignments lately) and how my anxiety's been insane lately... and how both actually go together. The more my mind is active and occupied, the less likely I am to have anxiety all day or to have a random panic attack. I over-think things. That's why I've been devoting so much time to reading lately; my mind is occupied and I can relax from stressful things such as my health or my mother's health or finances. After a dream I had a few weeks about a friend's son who has SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder), I felt very strongly about looking into it. When my Godmother (who has known me since I was born) suggested I looked into doing Speech Therapy for Children for my Master's degree, it all sort of clicked for me. I love children, I love language, and I would love to do something to help others. As of now, I don't think I am doing a very good job of making myself useful to others so this may be the thing I need to do. That and I have too much time on my hands and am itching to go back to school. Of course, I won't do anything until I pray about it. I'm still torn on everything. Luckily, I wasn't planning on applying to grad schools until this coming fall (for a Fall 2014 start) so I have time. :D How is this related to faith? 1) My Godmother (who is one of my heroes) brought it up and I am crediting the Holy Spirit for that and 2) it's going to force me to pray more and focus on doing God's will instead of worrying about my health for once. lol.

3) Some changes I want to make: not worrying about fitting into any Catholic mold on social networks. I need to say this before I explain: you guys are amazing. My on- and off-line friends (Catholic or not) are fantastic. You guys inspire me so much. However, I feel like I don't fit in with y'all about 98% of the time. #CathSorority, I love you gals. You always pray for me when I ask you guys, you gals are there for venting that guys won't understand, and y'all make me laugh... but I don't feel like I'm really a part of the group. There's cliques (and not bad ones either; amazing women who have their own little groups) and I don't fit into them. Likewise, on twitter, y'all are amazing but I don't fit in. I saw that clearly after the whole cursing debate on Patrick's Right Here, Right Now show. This is who I am: I don't drink. I don't curse (nor do I honestly like it). I'm not married. I don't have children. I don't even have a boyfriend. I love football (soccer). I love daily Mass. I'm a big time goofball and a bit of a fuddy duddy at times. My sense of humour is weird (but I like it) and some of it is lost through social networks... which leads to a lot of misunderstandings. I take some things very seriously that you some of guys say "I don't see what the big deal is" about... and vice versa. I feel like the Lone Ranger on social media sites. It can be a little depressing at times but I've decided not to let it get to me. I have amazing friends who love and accept me as I am. I don't have the "ew, she's too 'traditional'" or "ew, she's too liberal" feeling with them that I get with some people online and that's good enough for me. Again, I love y'all but I don't feel like I fit in. Story of my life. lol.

Anyway, just wanted to get all of that out. It's hardly a What I Learned Wednesday as little of it had to do with something I learned about the Faith but it's all still somewhat connected to my own faith as a Catholic so, you know, I'm making it count. lol. Hopefully I'll have something better next week. ;)

I really should go read... or do something to make these stress knots in my back and shoulders feel less painful. :)

Oh! And P.S. Y U NO send me prayer requests? Please, y'all. Give me things to offer my anxiety up for. I am literally begging you to send me prayer requests. lol.

As always, thanks for reading and God bless. :D

Modesty and "Old Fashioned" Ways Coming Back?

I had a little too much fun playing "dress up" with this doll. (The picture you are seeing is the final outfit I did).

As many of you know (heck, just look at the layout of this blog and you will know, lol) that I am a big fan of old-fashioned things -- the girlier the better. I actually gave up Jane Austen novels (but not DVDs, mini-series) for Lent along with Twitter. A couple of weeks prior to Lent, we had an PBS Emma viewing Twitter party with various women via tweet grid. I was amazed to see how many teenagers to 20-somethings were participating. Granted, Jane Austen is quite popular amongst young women (and the new version of Emma was the best, in my opinion), but it's not just her novels or anything associated with her. I've begun to noticed that more and more young women are beginning to favor modesty and the "old fashioned" ways that existed prior to the second half of the 20th century.

I've seen courtship being favored over dating. Fashions (still being over-sexualized in the secular media) have been slowly returning to the "Audrey Hepburn" era, with the Victorian and Regency eras giving a lot of inspiration to young women. Books such as the one I reviewed (How to Be a Hepburn in a Hilton World) are being written and read. Blogs (a number of which you can find on my blog list) are being published by like minded women. Even the way women carry themselves is starting to remind me of what we often read about in J. Austen novels.

True, women are still dressing "sexy" and whatnot, but I've seen less and less of that as of late... and not just because it's winter. I'm from L.A., we don't have 'winter' lol. Seriously, though, I am pleased to see that my generation (and the next generation) is reverting to the "old" ways, in which women acted like ladies. Am I the only one that is noticing this trend?

Perhaps it's just wishful thinking on my part, but I honestly do see it and I hope that this "trend" continues to gain more momentum. I would love to see it make a comeback.

Alright, that is my short thought of the day for today. The mountains of History and Humanities homework awaits. :)

As always, thanks for reading and God bless. :D

Beginning Lent Sick; Just Call Me Catherine Morland.

Photo: Felicity Jones as Catherine Morland in ITV's version of Northanger Abbey (which I will talk about.)

I hope everyone has had a good start to Lent. As I wrote yesterday, I spent most of the day yesterday sleeping. I just couldn't stay awake. I was only up for about 6 hours yesterday night/early this morning before I slept another 8 hours. I also took another hour and a half nap today. I've never ever been this fatigued before. I've also been experiencing other things (like random chest pains) that I've never had before. It's kind of scary but I usually tell myself it's probably anxiety related since it's been getting worse lately. I don't know what's going on with me, but I am very happy that I have a doctor's appointment next week. I am worried about one thing -- that the benign lymph node I have has grown or gotten worse and that it's messing up my thyroid.

When I was in the emergency room last month, the doctor said she felt it was a bit big and that I should get it checked out. I wasn't supposed to get it checked again until May-June but I am going to ask my doctor to check just to make sure it's nothing. For all I know, not knowing whether it's my thyroid or if it's still part of the mourning process which I am still going through.

Believe it or not, I am still coping with my father's death. I'm just starting to come out of this really horrible depression that hit me for a couple of weeks. I no longer wanted to do anything, I lost interest in a lot of things I loved, and I would cry way too easily. I've always been pretty sensitive but the amount of crying I was doing was getting ridiculous. My mom went through the same, but a few weeks before I did. 7 months after dad's death, we're still dealing with it and I know we will continue to deal with it for a while longer. That's what I'm hoping is the cause for my anxiety because I don't have any other explanation at the moment. Of course my anxiety could be a number of things that might subconsciously scare me. Recently I've been feeling like I'm finally growing up (in a way)... and that might be freaking me out, even though I don't think it is.

I will be the first to acknowledge that I have grown up very protected from the world (a bit sheltered, if you will). If there were any problems within the family, I didn't find out about them until it was way over. If there were any financial problems, I never knew about them. My parents never cursed in front of me, nor did they argue in front of me. I didn't really know about problems in the outside world until I went out and experienced them (or heard about them) myself. Perhaps that's why friends say I am an "eternal optimist", because I still believe that everything will eventually work out for the best.

Recently someone close to me commented about how "innocent" I still was, despite being nearly 25 years old. I didn't notice how that seems to be the general consensus amongst those closest to me until I became very aware of why they thought this. See, I've been going to the movies a lot lately (which I love doing when I have the time and resources). During some sex scenes (or scenes where the couple is getting intimate but they don't actually show anything), I turn away from the screen and occupy myself with my cell phone or something until it's over. I've had this habit since I was a child and it's continued as an adult. My guy friends have a field day when I do this. I get teased mercilessly, which is why I think they secret enjoy going to the movies with me. lol. In fact, if there's kissing in a scene, they will put their hands over my eyes... which I will slap away if it's not a big deal. The best explanation I can offer to this is that, despite the fact that I know it's acting, I feel intrusive on a couple's intimate moment... and if that intimate moment is graphic, adulterous, and/or lustful I just refuse to watch it because it offends me. Apparently, by doing this, I am showing how innocent I am. I mean, there are other obvious reasons why they call me what they do (a little petunia) but I don't know. I didn't think this was a bad thing.

I mean, I can see how a little innocence at my age can be a bad thing. If any of you have read Jane Austen's novel Northanger Abbey and/or know about the heroine in the book, Catherine Morland, than you pretty much know what my problem is. (And, side note, this is the reason why I've been so into this novel lately... Henry Tilney being the other reason. ;D) Unfortunately, as I've said in previous posts, that innocence (or naiveté) has made me a very easy target for people. I've become more aware of it lately. As I've written before, I get why people say I'm too nice. I don't speak up sometimes because I hate drama... or I go along with something to avoid conflict. I've been trying to be more assertive lately... and it's hard. It's a lot harder than I thought it was. I'm always very worried that I will hurt someone's feelings if I say I don't want to do something, unless I know it's something stupid and something that would not be worth repeating to a priest in the confessional. Fr. Brian has told me to be more assertive and it's actually going to be my penance during Lent. (See how I tied that in? ;D) I am going to speak up more and not worry about the other person's reaction as much, especially if I feel good about speaking up. It's quite possibly the hardest thing I'm going to have to do because it goes against my people-pleaser nature and my "I probably deserved that" mentality.

In short, just call me Catherine Morland. I am about to reach the end of my real life version of the novel (sans my own Henry Tilney, le sigh; I will have to be patient with that one), which means I have to continue to grow. My new saying is coming from a Ben Kweller song called "Walk on Me" -- "If I was in your shoes, I wouldn't walk all over you, so please don't walk all over me." I might just have to quote that to people from now on because it's still saying it in a nice way but you get the message across more bluntly. This is going to be one interesting Lent.

Alright, I have to go work on my homework for the week since I've lost a couple of days -- I'm a little behind the second week into the semester. *palmface* I have many quizzes and discussion threads... and assignments... and essays... to work on. I will continue to try to post at least one little thing every day during Lent (like I did yesterday).

Oh, btw, a friend is letting me borrow a first edition copy of St. Therese of Lisieux's autobiography so that will be my first book during Lent. Yay! :D

Okay, enough stalling now. I am going to dive into the wonderful worlds of Art Appreciation, Creative Writing, Humanities and History (which will both focus on the beginning of civilizations). :D

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D

Anorther quick update.

Sorry the gaps have started again. I've been busy packing, unpacking, catching up with old friends, traveling (including a mini roadtrip I took today with one of my favorite men -- and it made me appreciate him SO MUCH more because of everything he did for me today) and working on my novel. In other words: I wish there were more hours in the day.

The good news is that I have been feeling slightly better and I hope it continues. I've been able to keep the dreaded Writer's Block at bay (whoo!). Britt Nicole's album has become the soundtrack to my novel... unexpectedly. I'm also on a Jane Austen kick to re-awaken my inner Janeite and it's been helping me with my novel. (Side note: I usually like Austen inspired films but wasn't too happy with the 1999 version of Manfield Park. *shrugs*)

I've found myself saying the Rosary in public more and more often, mainly because it relaxes me and I've been in pretty stressful situations so that's why I've been doing it. Hopefully other fellow Catholics will say the Rosary more often, which is why I don't mind when people stare at me when I'm praying.

Oh, and hey, Liverpool FC beat Arsenal and are onto the semi-finals of the Champions League... just like last year (only they beat Barcelona last year)! I actually missed the game because I wasn't home during it, and actually got home pretty late so I didn't get a chance to even watch a re-run. Oh well, I am proud of my Red men for achieving yet another semi in the CL. The games against Chelsea will be good, and I will be praying that we go all the way to the finals. :D

And that is all for now. I've been up since earlier than I've gotten in a while and all that sitting in the car for hours has worn me out. I won't even mention the traffic. lol.

Hopefully I'll have a good, long post soon... if things slow down long enough for me to be able to, that is.

Alright, well... as always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D

Becoming Jane = Writer's Block Unblocked; Weird Dreams.

I just finished watching "Becoming Jane" on DVD. Netflix was kind enough to send it to me the day it was available (today) so I could indulge myself in a little "me time" for 2 hours. I hadn't seen it when it was out at the cinema so I was waiting for it to come out on DVD. Final verdict of the film? Loved it. I give it 2 thumbs up. I loved the acting, the scenery was beautiful, the story was well written and, for my fellow Jane Austin lovers, it did Jane justice. I love her works; grew up reading them. I remember when I was about 11 years old I read a lot of British literature... particularly the works of Jane Austin and the Bronte sisters. Yes, I was a mini-bibliophile even at that age. :D It's been years since I last read of the books (we didn't focus on them when I took English (British) Literature courses) but this movie has made me want to return to "my roots" and read them over again. Don't you just love that? That you are inspired to return to one of your first loves (literature was one of mine) because of a film? Maybe I'm the only one who feels that way. I wouldn't be surprised if I was. lol.

One thing that the film also inspired me to do... get back to my writing! Procrastination and Writer's Block, I am giving you both your packing orders. Vamoose! lol. I finally know in what sequences I will try the books (something I was struggling with). I am so read to start writing like a mad woman but, sadly, I will have to start in the morning because I have a date with TCM. They are airing "Brief Encounter" around 1 - 2 a.m. and I fully intend on staying up to watch it. It's one of my favorite films (beautifully acted) so any chance I have to watch it, I will take. :D I do have about an hour or two before the film starts but, knowing myself, I will miss it because I will get so enthralled in my writing. Once I start writing (or reading) it takes a lot for me to stop. If anyone ever wondered why I ever considered majoring in British Literature or Creative Writing, and why I almost applied to Oxford to study it there... well, hopefully you now know why. :D

I am certainly not lacking imagination, that's for sure. The dreams I've had lately have been a testament to that. For the past 2 nights, I've had pretty apocalyptic dreams... and both have featured St. Teresa of Avila and St. Therese in some way. I don't really remember yesterday's dream, all I remember is that I woke up pretty wigged out and when I brought my hand and arm from under my pillow, a holy card of St. Teresa of Avila in my hand. Wait... no... I take that back. I DO remember what the dream was about. It's all coming back to me. I remember I looked outside and saw these strange things in the sky... almost like the planets and stars have come down and where close enough to be seen without a telescope. There was something very eerie about it though. I also remember a ton of vultures all around the roof of my house... and that I knew the world would end. Then I saw that the entire building structure of my house was being engulfed in flames... yet it somehow didn't get to my room or the living room. I very felt the warmth from the fire and I remember running around, trying to get important documents (birth certificates, legal documents, etc) out of the house. I also remember everything being very white -- the walls, clothing, etc. I wouldn't allow my parents inside either... I told them to get in the car because we had to get out of there. I said something along the lines of "Our Lady was right... that apparition was true! The world is going to end..." then I woke up.

The dream I had last night was equally as dramatic but in a different way. I don't remember how it started but I do remember being in this room with a lot of people... most dressed in black. I remember there was someone who said she was St. Therese of Lisieux but I knew deep down it wasn't; that it was the devil trying to lure people away through the person. The person was harming people, and tried to harm me, but I started pouring Holy Water on the people's heads (they had been possessed). I remembered I even managed to her the Holy Water on the person's head (after some chasing) and turned that person back to good (I faintly remember her clothing turning from black to white). I believe I also put some Holy Water on myself, and prayed a Hail Mary out loud for protection. (Note: This is my second dream in a few days where I am exorcising people.) I do remember that after that something major happened that made me start thinking it was the end of the world but I honestly don't remember that part. I just remember myself waking up and saying "Ave Maria" and having the strongest urge to not be in the room by myself. Crazy dreams, eh?

I don't know what to make of those dreams except that I have an overactive imagination. I know one of you, who knows me very well, will have something to say about my logical explanation but I will just go with that. I can apply the last dream as a sort of sign that maybe I will be able to make a difference with people (through the novel I'm writing and the ones I have planned) and that I will help them not stray from the church. That's what I hope to do... and what I feel is what I am meant to do. Only time will tell though.

Alright, well, I think that's enough dramatics for tonight. I think I will go make myself a little fruit salad before "Brief Encounter" because as soon as the film is over, I'm hitting the hay. Hopefully no more apocalyptic dreams. Seriously, I don't like waking up completely freaked out. :D

Until next time... thanks for reading and God Bless.