Surprise! I'm A New Contributing Writer For...

Gather 'round, everyone. It's story time! (side note: Yes, I promise this will all lead to me telling you where my new writing gig is along with the link to my first article for them.)

Once upon a time, in the not-so-magical land of Los Angeles, CA, lived a young woman named Melissa (nicknamed Emmy by all who knew her). From a young age, Emmy loved writing. She loved it so much, her best friend growing up gave her the gift of more notebooks and pens (which she quickly went through) for every birthday. This was her gift until the age of 18 when her best friend -- the person she knew from the age of 5 -- moved away.

As she grew up, Emmy wondered what career path to take. She dabbled in the arts of drawing, of acting, and of music. She changed her major several times before settling on Religious Studies. Why did she pick Religious Studies? Because her heart was on fire for the Lord. She wanted to teach others about the faith she'd fallen deeply in love with. A degree in Religious Studies would open up options for this -- either teaching or doing something else. Also, Creative Writing was a harder field to break into; less stable.

Anyway, she could still write. She had started a blog on Christmas Day 2007 and had kept it up for many years. Before she even graduated, she had been published in Envoy Magazine twice. When she graduated, she began freelance writing but it was grunt work. She was paid literal pennies per word. Sure, she also got a sweet contributing writing gig for H&R Block's (now defunct) Block Talk blog but once that gig ended, ghostwriting dried up, and she found herself low on options with a student loan debt to pay off.

She felt called to write... but the field was not so kind to her. Deflated and feeling defeated, she thought it was a sign to abandon her dream as a writer. She applied (and was accepted) to a program for a second Bachelor's degree to become a speech-language pathologist. She put all her efforts into it, leaving a writing career that barely paid.

For the next 3.5 years, she tried to finish both the second Bachelor's degree and a Master's degree in  Biblical Theology. During this time, her health began to fail. The further she got into the second Bachelor's degree, the sicker she got. She took a break and tried a Master's in the topic that felt like home to her. A terrible accident and a decline in health following it forced her to take another break. With a mountain of student loans still looming -- as well as other familial financial responsibilities she chose to take on -- she decided to finish the second Bachelor's degree once more. She knew she had to be less gung-ho. She finished enough courses to get her license as an SLPA (speech assistant) but her heart was not in it and her savings were zilch (thus not allowing her to pay the $4-6k to get the  SLPA license).

She decided to give up on her own plans and let God completely take over. "Jesus, I trust in You. I will do what You want me to do" became her new motto. Facing the now crazy mountain of ($46+k) student loans (all of which she knew she could pay with an SLPA job; that's why she kept going), she stressed about how she would be able to pay it off. Providentially, for weeks before she gave up on the SLPA goal, St. Francis de Sales (patron saint of writers) kept popping into her life. She wondered if it meant she would be better of giving her writing career a second chance. It was when she decided to give up the SLPA goal that her lovely friend, Theresa, told her about an opportunity to write for a Catholic website Emmy often read. "What? Writing for EpicPew?! Sign me up!" Thus, Emmy's writing career was once again revived.

Now, she didn't actually get paid for a couple of weeks while she was on trial but she didn't care. She was writing once again! It was something she loved and something she felt guilty about letting go. Deep down, she always felt like it was what God might've been calling her to do but it was fear that kept her from pursuing it. Fear... and lack of trust. After stubbornly doing things her way, she let go and let Divine Providence take over. "Alright, God," she often said, "if you want me to do this, I will."

She loved writing for EpicPew. She let her inner Catholicism nerd run free. She also called on the Holy Spirit to enlighten her mind when she felt writer's block would keep from meeting her weekly deadline. Some articles her hits (and how!) and some were misses. It was all par for the course.

Then, one week, disaster struck. She couldn't think of anything to write! She had a looming deadline and nothing to write. Sure, she had back-up topics on reserve but they weren't what she normally wrote about. Still, she felt a tug to use one of them -- on Catholic pick-up lines -- to write that week. Trusting it was a nudge from the Holy Spirit and fresh out of new ideas, she went with it... and she quickly saw that she'd made the right decision.

The article blew up in a way no other previous article had! She was surprised -- most of her previous articles had a more serious tone to them. This article, which allowed her to explore her more fun side, was shared by Catholic publications she often read. She was humbled and in awe. "Okay, Holy Spirit! Thank you for that!" Still, a surprise lay ahead for her.

A few days after the article hit, she was offered a new writing gig as a contributing writer for a new Catholic dating website called CatholicChemistry. The pick-up lines article was just what the creator of the site was looking for. Would she be interested in writing for them? Sure!

She kept the news to herself (and a handful of friends). Then, on August 22nd, 2018, her first article with CatholicChemistry (5 Relationship Discernment Novenas) was published and she was finally able to share her news with the world!

What does this mean for the heroine of this story? Only God knows. All Emmy knows is that God continues to supply her with more writing work, making it clear that He wants her to continue down this writing path. There are, of course, more articles that have been and will be written for EpicPew, CatholicChemistry, Verily Magazine, and other places. She will share them on social media and on her blog. She will continue to write until God calls her to do something else. In the meantime, she hopes to help people grow a little more in their faith and/or vocation by what she writes...

This story has no end as it's still being written. Stay tuned... ;)

Unable to Find the Right Words

This past week (and especially the last couple of days) have been a little strange for me. I've found myself speechless more often than not for a multitude of reasons. The two biggest reasons have something in common -- the potential loss of a parent.

A few days ago, the mother of one of my oldest friends had a hemorrhagic stroke and today the doctors said she was brain dead. Right now the family is waiting for guidance (and/or a miracle) to make the decision on whether or not to "pull the plug." At the same time, the father of another good friend is not doing too well (he has a brain tumor that can't be treated with chemotherapy) and he may have days to live. I've found myself not being able to come up with anything to say other than they're in my prayers (which they are) and that I'm there for them (which I am). I've been in their shoes before but I find myself unable to say the right words.

Are there any right words to say in these types of situations? I had some incredible friends who knew the right things to say 5 years ago while my father was living his last weeks. Other friends gave me my space and I suspect some of them did it because they (like me, right now) didn't know what to say. I feel like everyone says the same thing (or are more eloquent) so all I can say is what I've already mentioned ("you're in my prayers", "call/text me if you need me.")

I know myself well enough to know that if I speak exactly what I feel, I'm going to end up sobbing or making them (unintentionally) cry. I feel things very deeply and I'm sensitive to seeing others in any type of pain. If you don't believe me, read the article I wrote for Envoy Magazine about my experience with my father's death; I've never had so many grown men tell me that my words made them tear up. I'm actually sitting here, trying not to tear up as I type this out. Just knowing that my friends are going through one of the most difficult things (losing a parent) is hard.

I don't live close enough to my friends to be able to physically be there for them. If I could, I would be there, at the hospitals or helping in any way that I could. They're in my heart and on my mind all day. They're in my prayers and in the prayers of my friends whom they don't know. I still hope and pray for miracles but I don't know what else to do. Why don't I feel like that's enough? Before my father's death, I didn't have much experience in this field... and I still haven't had much since. I'm at a loss of what to do. I'm just "typing out loud" at this point.

Can y'all please pray for both of them and their families? I may be unable to find the right words to say but I can, at least, help spread the news so that we can all storm heaven with prayers.

That's it for now. Sorry this post is kind of a bummer but this is what's been on my mind lately.

As always, thanks for reading and God bless. :D

Best. Week. Ever. Thank you, God!

Isn't my new desktop crucifix pretty? It comes from the Holy Land. *insert Catholic fangirling squeals* 

Having a week that is packed with back-to-back good news and events is rare. However, I am declaring last week the "best week ever"... or at least of the past 4 years. So just what happened to make it the best week ever? I shall tell you.

I know y'all know about my big news from last week's What I Learned Wednesday post; that I was accepted to Utah State's Communicative Disorders and Deaf Education program. If you read the post you know that I'm only doing this in the meantime (the financial crunch in an expensive city is real, y'all) and that I will pursue a Master of Arts in Theology when things are a little more financially stable (and I am more prepared to teach or do something with the degree). That was huge... but then things got better.

On Thursday, I went in for my follow-up doctor's appointment. They made me wait nearly 3 months for my gluten test results. My doctor is actually new as my former doctor abruptly left so he didn't know I was supposed to get my results. I did ask him before I left and he said that they had come back negative. That means that after a three month Eucharist-free life, I can once again receive it.

I was on cloud 9 when I heard that. I had not attended daily Mass because I cried every time I went to Mass and couldn't receive the Eucharist in either form and going to daily Mass would've been torture for me (not to mention emotionally draining). And before you ask (and I got this asked a lot), I couldn't do wine because I had a bad reaction the last time I had done it. After you spend the day in bed with bodily aches, you tend to not try what made you sick again. I actually let my SD know at Mass yesterday and I think he was as stoked as I was because he saw how it drained me. 

So, daily Mass and communion starts again tomorrow. I couldn't yesterday because I haven't gone to confession in two weeks and I missed Mass last Sunday so I didn't feel right receiving (even though I was sick last Sunday). Thankfully my parish has confessions 4 times a week so I can go tomorrow. :D Odds are I will cry tears of joy. Y'all don't know just how much I ache (yes, ache; sounds dramatic but I don't know how else to describe it) for the Eucharist. Sure, I offered it up but to be able to receive again is amazing.

And then on Saturday came a huge day for me. As many of you know, I have so much respect for Patrick Madrid for several reasons. He gave me my first real break as a writer by publishing two of my articles in Envoy Magazine (issues 9.3 and 10.1). Not only that, he kept in touch with me while I was at my horrible CINO college alma mater and offered me the support I needed to get through it in one piece. He's sort of like a second dad (and I've even jokingly asked him to adopt me) and I feel blessed. 

Patrick talking about why he's Catholic. Taken from the merch table where I was hanging out.

Well, this past Saturday I was finally able to meet him in person for the first time since I "met" him online over 4 years ago. He was a speaker at the Catholic apologetics conference that was held at the St. Joseph Center in Alhambra (run by the wonderful Carmelite Sisters of the Most Sacred Heart of Los Angeles). I didn't get to talk to him for long but I was happy for the time we did get to chat. (side note: For the record: no, I am not posting the picture that I took with Patrick because, as some of you know, I was threatened and it was substantial enough that it was decided that it was no longer safe for me to post any pictures of myself online.)

I did not stay for the entire conference (insert rant about the transportation network/system I use), I was able to stay for part of it and, I have to say, it definitely reminded me of why I love being Catholic. If you haven't gone to an event where he's speaking at, I highly recommend you do. The "okay, young lady, Theology as soon as possible" feeling definitely burned brighter in my heart. I know God wants me to do something for the Church but I also know He wants me to take care of other things before I can do this.

By the end of the week (Sunday) I was feeling pretty awesome. I had an amazing week and it ended with me getting a crucifix from the Holy Land *points to first picture in post*. All of this got me thinking about how I may never not think that everything happens for a reason.

I have this motto for whenever I feel like the world is crumbling around me: we go through hard times because something wonderful is coming up and it'll make us appreciate it that much more. I truly believe this. I have been struggling with stomach problems for over a year now yet and, as part of doctor tests, I couldn't receive the Eucharist for a couple of months. If I loved it (Eucharist) before, I am even more enamoured with it now. I struggled at a terrible school where professors made me feel like I was a thorn in their side and was nothing but an unwanted pest, and I got accepted (in three days!) to my top choice for my pre-MA SLP program.

All I could do during Mass was smile and thank Him for all the blessings he had bestowed on me last week. I try to thank Him for everything that has happened in the past but all these things have made me even more hyper-aware of all the blessings I get, whether or not they are good. Even the bad things have a silver lining that show God's love for us.

Anyway, I just wanted to share this all with you. I also want to thank all of you who have consistently prayed for me; for my health, for my school situation, etc. I couldn't have gotten to where I am without y'all. :)

That's it for now. I have a couple of things to do -- including planing a wedding before next Friday. Yep. Last minute plans though this has been a wedding in the making for several years now. A bit of a headache but it's a fun one and I get to look at beautiful churches in England soon. ;)

I hope y'all had a wonderful weekend and have a fantastic week this week.

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

I've Made Some Big, Life-Changing Decisions

As you can probably guess from the title, I've decided to share some pretty big decisions that I've made over the last couple of weeks. These decisions range from changes in my career, residence, and some other faith related changes.

First, as some of you may know, I recently did a St. Thomas Aquinas novena regarding grad school. If you've read this blog long enough, you know that I had been struggling to figure out what to do about grad school since before I graduated last year. Did I want to follow up my Religious Studies BA with a Master's in Theology? Did I want to follow my dream of being a writer and pursue a MFA in Creative Writing? I was torn between the two and, up until a few weeks ago, I was still undecided. Then I was inspired by the son of one of my dearest friends (Kathryn) to look into becoming a Speech Therapist. Well, I technically had a dream that I was visiting her family and had told her that I wished I was a therapist so I could help her, but it was enough to trigger the curiosity in me. After one of my Godmothers brought it up (without knowing that I was considering it), I really looked into it and it all sort of clicked for me.

Up until my father's death, I often talked how I had wished I had the stomach to become a doctor or even a nurse. I can handle some things but blood and seeing open cuts and wounds will make me faint. That's why I ruled that out early on. However, I've always wanted to help people out somehow. Then, as I said, it clicked for me. My mom and my uncle have stutters. Three of my best friends have children with autism. This is something I could do to really help people. I definitely have the patience, the heart to help, and it suits my personality. I even checked out my personality profile (I'm an INFP) for kicks and, sure enough, Speech Pathologist is on the list. So, after all of the things I've explained (as well as a lot of prayer), I've decided to change careers. I will always write but I think I'll be more comfortable writing my own novels and articles on the side and have Speech-Language Pathology as my main career.

It wasn't easy to get to this decision. Freelance writing is incredibly unstable. I knew that when I started last year. While I have really enjoyed some of my assignments (I'll always make time to write for H&R Block; side note: my latest post for them was published today), overall, I've been unhappy. I love writing but I figured out a few weeks back that (except for my H&R Block assignments, as well as those I've written for Envoy Magazine), most of my work has left me feeling empty and like I'm wasting my time. I no longer feel as though this is what God has planned for me. Sure, Speech Pathology pays a lot more (which is why I hesitated on the decision; I didn't want to make it based on greed or anything like that) but that's not why I want to do it. I just think that what I have to offer the world would be better spent helping others than writing  about which movies are currently playing "On Demand" for a cable company I personally ditched two weeks ago.

Along with the change of career, I've also decided to relocate. I've been wanting to move out of Los Angeles since, I kid you not, I was about 6 years old and I'll hopefully (finally!) get a chance to as I pursue this journey. All of the grad programs I want to apply to are in colder climates, which works for me; I'm sick of the hot weather. I will apply to a program here as well but I'm considering that as my backup. I am sure God will help guide me exactly where He wants me to be.

All of this has made me rely more on my faith, wanting to do God's will, and take my own feelings out of the equation. I loathe math with every fiber of my being but I'm going to have to get over it because I need at least one more upper division math class to take. As far as schools go, (from what I know) there are no orthodox Catholic universities that offer a SLP Masters degree. Not happy about that (would've loved to have attended a good Catholic uni) but maybe it's what I need to strengthen my faith. Also, a lot of the universities on the top of my list are in very liberal cities, which is going to be fun. Yes, there was a hint of sarcasm when I wrote that last sentence. lol. I definitely have my pick of the university I would love to attend, and the city in which it is in is my ideal to live in, but it's not about what I want. Again, it's about God's will and what He would like me to do. I just have to surrender any selfish desires and trust Him. I'm going to immerse myself in more prayer over the next couple of months (I'll be applying this autumn to begin during Fall 2014) and go from there.

I know that all these changes will alter a lot of things in my life. I will have to leave behind my comfort zone. I'm going to have to challenge myself in ways I wasn't anticipating. Overall, I'm hoping that my resolution to trust God completely and not worry about the future will prove to be a success because, as I wrote last month, it's never been easy for me to completely let go in the past. A new career. A new place to live in (I've lived at the same address for the past 22 years). And I will possibly have to do this by myself, without anyone there to help me. *gulp*

Anyway, just wanted to share this. If y'all can spare a prayer, I'd grateful appreciate it. :D

Sorry for the long post but, well, you guys know I love to write a little too much sometimes. lol.

I hope y'all have a great start of  the weekend. :D If you have any prayer requests, please send them by way. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless!

Three Years Since Dad Passed and He's Still Teaching Me

This blog didn't end up the way I intended but you're welcome to read my ramblings anyway. :)

I can't believe it's been three years since my dad passed away. Three years ago exactly today. I still think it's quite interesting that he died on the feast day of St. Benedict of Nursia who is a patron saint for dying people. I've already written about my feelings two days before he passed, about the day he died on this blog post as well as a more detail account of my father's reversion in this issue of Envoy Magazine so I won't repeat it.

The last three years have gone by really fast. I'm starting to forget things like the way he sounded when he spoke as well as his facial expressions. I remember my favorite memories of him and I've nearly completely forgotten all the bad ones (which is good). We're now very used to our new life... but it still feels weird. I occasionally still think (when I'm half asleep) that he's going to get home from dropping off mom from work in the morning... even though that is now my responsibility. I've honestly forgotten the routine we had (as a family) prior to his passing. I'm not going to dwell on this though; I'm going to talk about the positive things that this anniversary have brought.

Though I have been in a completely foul mood (though this is a combination of nosy neighbors and the anniversary happening at once) and a lot of my worst traits have come up (like completely shutting down when I'm angry), I feel like this is a good thing. Never have I ever been more hyper-aware of my actions and words. With all the negative coming out, I've been able to pinpoint what I have to work on as well as what I can do to either prevent it or how to deal with things in a better way. A lot of times I think about my dad and how he dealt with things and I adjust both my thinking and actions accordingly. To be honest, in a way I feel like I'm getting ready for the next step God wants me to take. I've been feeling it since last month but the feeling has gotten stronger lately. I don't know what that next step is (possibly career related since I am looking for a job still) but I'm definitely changing for the better.

I haven't been attending daily Mass (though I really, really want to) as of late but I've been getting in the habit of praying for others. You know, actually praying for others instead of just saying I will. Let's be honest, most of us do this: we say we'll pray for someone but then we get sidetracked and never actually do it. Intention is there but we stink at the execution of the intention. I usually get everyone in the day's Rosary and, if I get late requests, I save them for the next day. If they are urgent or unique, I do it individually instead with the Rosary. Sometimes I get 20-25 requests on Twitter and Facebook (especially when I post something about it) and sometimes I only have one prayer request so I add people who haven't been asked me for prayer request but still feel the urge to pray for them. (side note: You can always tweet/DM me or post a request on the FB page.) I've been offering up the anxiety I've had up for the more urgent requests... and it's all done me a world of good. My anxiety's been down (hopefully I didn't just jinx myself, lol) and I generally just feel better. I try to do at least one act of charity (even when I'm in a bad mood) anonymously. I actually prefer that no one knows what I do or for who. :) And, as I mentioned in the last blog post, I used to get ridiculed for wanting to help but now I don't have that fear so I am doing more and more.

I've found myself drawn to praying in front of the tabernacle more often as well. Due to my anxiety, I haven't been attending Mass as often as I want (though the last two times were successful) but I'm definitely in "must pray" mode for the most part. And, before anyone asks again, yes, I am sure my vocation is not a religious one. lol. If I can sit in front of the crucifix on my bedroom wall and just pray, I'm happy. There are some days when I don't feel very close to God but it's a struggle I'm happy to work through.

As for other positive changes: I'm slowly becoming less selfish and more charitable. My temper has gotten a workout lately (I don't like people trying to pry into my personal life) but I've noticed that a couple of things could've been prevented and that I brought some of it onto myself so I don't have anyone to blame but myself in those situations. I'm still learning (I truly believe we never stop learning nor bettering ourselves) and these things have really opened up my eyes to my actions. All of these things are connected to my dad but I won't say how because I want to honor him. Let's just say that even though he's gone, he's still teaching me about what is important and how to act in certain situations. :)

Anyway, this was more of a rambling than anything. Not exactly what I planned but things rarely go as planned. :) Before I go I will say: daddy, we still love and miss you terribly but we know you're in a better place. And, thank you for continuing to help shape the young woman that I am. You may not be here to scold me or to encourage me but I still remember that the last thing you told me was that you trusted me and my decisions and I'll carry that with me for the rest of my life. <3

I hope y'all are having a great week thus far. :) And don't forget to send me those prayer requests!

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

2010: The Year This Nerd Grew Up

Photo by Nino Andonis.

No, I was not immature (or I hope I wasn't) but I felt like I did a lot of growing as a person this year. I started the year kind of numb, a little apathetic, still mourning the death of my father and ended the year feeling the most alive and spiritually fulfilled that I've been to date.

As I said, I started the year in mourning. My mama went to my dad's room at the strike of midnight and broke down in tears as it was our first New Year without him. I also cried but I think it was harder for her as they were married for nearly 27 years before he passed. A week into the New Year I decided that I did not want to be in the rut I was finding myself in. I did not like feeling numb to most emotions. I did not like being a walking zombie who did not care about a lot of things. Though my faith thankfully did not take a hit, I was still going through the motions without emotions. To be honest, I didn't really snap out of this state right away. It wasn't until this summer, a year after my father's death, that I truly felt like myself once again. The hardest days for me were what would've been my father's 67th birthday, my birthday, and Father's Day. Thankfully I had amazing friends all year that helped me out. The majority prayed for me to get out of my state depression and mourning. Some went to Mass with me and I had two go to the cemetery with me to leave flowers on daddy's grave. I was thrown the best birthday party ever (breaking my bad birthdays "curse")... and basically everyone made sure I never felt alone. Whether they were online friend or friends I got to see in person, I was (and still am) to have truly amazing friends.

Of course, this year had the usual ups and downs. I was sick but less than usual. The anxiety was under control for most of the year (and, bonus!, I finally got to the root of it so I can hopefully move on) and I didn't have many health problems except for the stomach bug I got a few days ago (now you see why I haven't posted in a week?) and two allergic reactions. Otherwise, I'm solid, man. lol. :D School was a trip. For those following my tweets and my blog posts, y'all know what I mean when I say that school was interesting. Little did I know that my experiences at school would bring me so much attention... which I am still surprised by.

The CINO (Catholic in name only) College post unexpectedly blew up. I kind of wanted to hide, to be honest. I don't like being in the spotlight (or the limelight) but my post helped others which is all I wanted. I ended up on websites like the Cardinal Newman Society and First Things blogs. I got tons of comments, emails, and phone calls (seriously!) with words of encouragement, advice, and even schools offering to help me transfer to their schools where being faithful Catholics was the norm and feminist, liberal agendas were nowhere to be found. As I explained, financial and family responsibilities ultimately kept me at the CINO college I wrote about but I'm much more confident going into the next semester (though I don't start until the 10th). I have friends who help me out when I'm stuck on things that professors bring up. I'm still learning about our beautiful Faith so I occasionally need help. Thankfully I also have Patrick Madrid helping me which is amazing 'cause I'm learning a lot from him. Oh and something else that Patrick helped me with was getting my first article published in Envoy Magazine. I am very grateful for having had the opportunity and it only solidified my dream of doing what I want to do for a living which is writing. I still have a lot to learn but I've been fortunate enough to have good guidance. :)

Personally, I think I've grown a lot. From the late night-early morning epiphany I had last January in which I realized how lucky I am to have left my old life and dedicate myself to my faith and to doing God's will to coming out of the spiritual desert I just came out of, I have never felt closer to God than I did this year.

Oh, and in case you're wondering what I'm talking about when I say spiritual desert... in a nutshell, I just spent Advent being attacked by you-know-who with things I did not even know I would ever have to deal with. I had to deal with a lot of issues I'd unknowingly buried when I was a child and I went through a really rough time right before (and during) finals. I believe that if it hadn't been for the second 54-day Rosary novena I'm currently doing and my soul sister Angelica being there for me, I don't know how I would've (emotionally) survived. I had weak but secularly logical "valid" reasons to be angry at God, but I wasn't and still am not. I know other people who've gone through similar experiences have blamed God and/or lost their faith but I didn't. If anything, I came out of the spiritual desert with a greater love of God... and it's given me absolutely no doubt as to what my vocation is. On the contrary, I'm looking at the whole experience as a blessing. Though I spent nearly a month in constant tears and trying to make sense of everything, I feel like I had to go through everything in order to be completely ready for my future role as wife and mother. I'm still single and am in no rush, but never before have I felt more ready for whenever my future husband decides to show up. In fact, I'm excited that I will be sharing my vocation with someone and that we our love of God will only get strengthened by it. (Though, knowing men, whoever the guy is probably got lost and has refused to ask for directions thus making me wait a little longer. Typical. lol. jk.) I will soon write more about this -- you have been warned. ;)

Anyway, I've learned so much about myself and I've gotten some comfortable in my own skin that I feel like I can say that 2010 was the year this nerd grew up. The months of February (at the beginning of Lent) through May were especially good for me on this front. Maybe it was because I was entering my 25th year or maybe it was because, as I believe, God is getting me ready for the next phase of my life but I really did grow as a person and I thoroughly enjoyed the process. By the way, who knew that knowing what my temperament, Phlegmatic-Sanguine, would help me on the path of self-discovery? As I said right before my birthday, in my unofficial declaration of independence (from expectations and peer pressure), I decided to embrace who I was and be unapologetic of it. Although I still have a hard time being assertive (except when I fight against heresy and blasphemy in my classes as this is when my passionate Sanguine side comes out; I'm a lot quieter and can be quite shy in person which I know some of you aren't used to online, lol) I don't deny who I am and what I like and am steadfast in my beliefs. I've lost friends in the process but those who were really my friends have stuck around. :) I have a new outlook in life, and no longer live in the past, which has made me very happy with myself and with where my life is heading. :D Needless to say, 2010 was an amazing year for me despite the lows.

And this concludes the final blog post of the year. :D I still have to pray the Rosary novena for the day as well as take care of my mama who's sick with food poisoning (or possibly the start of the flu I just dodged). I hope everyone had a great year. I want to thank everyone who left a comment, sent an email, or sent me a tweet. Y'all made my year that much better. :D

I wish everyone a wonderful 2011 and look forward to seeing what the year brings (besides the start of my senior year this Fall). Oh and my 26th birthday at the end of May can just get lost; I'm good with being 25 and looking like I'm still in high school. lol.

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless!

Inquiring Minds Want to Know...

Okay, so this picture has nothing to do with what's going on with me because I don't have writer's block... I simply haven't had the time to do much writing outside what is needed for school and for Envoy Magazine. Still, I love it so I posted it. :-P

I have back posts I started but didn't finish because of time issues and a major change which has thrown my time management/schedule for a loop. Long story short: less hours sleeping, more busy hours during the day, and I dropped my math course for both time issues as well as, well, because my professor was insensitive and I was advised my faculty here to drop it after an incident between him and I. Anyway, since I don't have much time at the moment (I have Lit in about 40 minutes for so) I just thought I'd answer some questions I've been getting through email, on here (via comments) and twitter.

First: Did I do it? Did I end up wearing a mantilla two weeks ago? The answer is: YES! If you're a Facebook buddy you saw the photographic evidence (which a friend/classmate took inside the chapel). I did indeed wear a mantilla. There were dirty looks and a lot of pointing and whispering (and not discreetly) as I had predicted. I won't go into how... *shudders*... the Mass was and how the Eucharist (which wasn't really one) was basically shoved into my hands despite my efforts not to but I will say that I did wear it and I'm happy I did. I already know that some of my classmates think I have a "holier than thou" attitude because I go pray in the chapel whenever I get the chance and because of other things so I wasn't too concerned with what they thought about my wearing my chapel veil. It's kind of funny because if they knew just how hard I am on myself, they'd know it's the complete opposite. I did get a compliment, from the school's president no less, about how "pretty" it was which I did not expect. Overall, I was glad to do it despite what others said/thought.

Second: Do I have another article for Envoy Magazine coming up? The answer is: Yes! I've been trying to get it Patrick (and will attempt it again after my Lit class) for a couple of weeks now but my email is acting dumb (or it's going straight to his Spam folder because of that one time my account was hacked). Either way, it's written and it will hopefully be in the next issue. Can't say what it's about (yet) but I have a feeling y'all will relate to it... or at least that's what I'm hoping for.

Third: Why the lack of updates? Well, you guys probably know the answer to this by now. I'm not lazy and I don't have writer's block... I just have to rearrange some things so I can make the most out of my free time (like bringing a laptop to school so I can both work on school essays as well as update this blog). Since I have two very important exams this week (both placement exams - one for my Foreign Language requirement, the other for math), I want to dedicate as much time as I can to studying. I'm praying that I can test out of Intermediate Algebra (which is the last math course I took; they still make you take the test here) so I can knock math out of my life (forever) next semester. Fingers crossed.

Fourth: How's school going? It has its ups and downs. I "played" a game with my Catholic friends on Facebook called "Spot the Heresies." Basically, I posted a note with direct quotes from my professors and asked my friends to spot the heretical teachings. Now they see my pain. lol. The heresies are becoming a bit infrequent in all but one of my courses. I still dread coming to school (and still cry some nights at the thought of having to come the next day) but it's getting somewhat easier. I have a friend who's in the same boat as I am - both are regretting but learning from the decision of attending this school but we are both trying to make the most of our experience here. Today we talked about how we would've rather attending Thomas Aquinas College about an hour north of here but how "it is what it is" and now we must survive until graduation. Thank God (I'm literally thanking Him) that I am finding (or, I should say, that God's putting into my path) people with the same beliefs.

Okay, I have just a few minutes before class started and I still have to walk to the building and then up to the top floor so I am going to end this blog post here. I will try to update again on Thursday... at least the post on St. Therese and how suffering beads have changed my life quite dramatically. I wanted to post it on Friday but couldn't. :D

I hope y'all are having a great start of week. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless!

More Articles, and Novels, and Writing! Oh My!

This will be quick, I promise.

Well, I was waiting to announce this but I can't hold it off anymore... A lot of people have been asking me where they can get their copy of the latest Envoy Magazine issue so they can read my article. Well, if you've asked me that I will say that maybe you should get the actual subscription (either digital or paper edition) because I will have more articles coming out in the publication. That's right, I am getting my own column. :D I've known about this since late January but I didn't want to say anything until I was getting ready to write the second article. :) I feel truly blessed to be writing for them regularly. I won't write things I will mention in the blog so y'all get new things to read. Can't say what I'm thinking about for the next one but I'm already excited. :D That's one piece of news that I'm terribly excited for.

Update on the novel: if feels like I've been writing the novel for years now, doesn't it? It's not the case. The novel I originally started writing in 2007-2008 is not the same one I'm working on right now. I ended up scrapping that one and I started all over. The current one, which is almost done, was started last year. I'm editing at the moment and it's getting to the point where I'm a little sad that I'm almost done. This novel has been my baby for so long. The good thing is that I am ready to start the second novel (in a planned trilogy) and already have part of it written. I don't know when it will be published or who will end up publishing it... if I don't just do it myself. I think I may, in the near future -- like possibly September, ask for a beta reader or two so if anyone is interested please let me know. I would ask my friends but everyone's busy with school and/or work so I need to ask you lovely blog readers. :)

I have been trying to update the blog more but I'm either wrapped up in my novel (I have been known to spend an entire day just writing) or doing something else if I have writer's block. It is my last three weeks before I start the new semester at my new college. I will try to post at least three times a week until then because I don't know how infrequent my blogging will be after August 23rd. I may just give up Twitter and just blog and keep my Facebook account because I always end up tweeting a lot on twitter and neglecting this blog in the process. I have a lot to write but not enough hours in the day to write everything I want. I am also considering writing blogs in advance and scheduling them to get published on different days. We'll see how it goes with my 5 courses (possibly 6) this semester and the blogging. :)

Okay, I just got rid of my writer's block (thank to my friend, Dave, who was kind enough to read the part I was stuck on) so I am going to spend the rest of my day re-writing one of the last chapters in the novel. :)

I hope everyone is doing well and is having a good start of week. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D

And, So, a Year Has Passed; Article Feedback

I took this picture from Patrick Madrid's Facebook profile.

It's a little weird, but terribly exciting, to see my name on the cover of a respected publication but there I am... on the bottom of the cover... A Gift From My Father. I wrote that. Mind boggling. :D I only have the pre-publication PDF that Patrick sent me so I haven't seen the final product but I have already gotten feedback. The first email was from someone I don't know who saw my email address in the issue. I was deeply touched by the email and it definitely made the 1st year anniversary of my father's death (which was on Sunday, the 11th) that much easier. More about this in a bit.

If you've noticed, it's taken me about a week or so to write again. I haven't been really active on twitter or Facebook either. I've just been really bummed out. Honestly, I didn't feel like doing anything except sleeping. I didn't really want to go out, at all, and had to force myself to actually leave the house. I didn't do anything except stay home and watch TV or movies to distract myself. It's weird for me to be in this state of mind but it's apparently normal.

On the days leading up to the 1 year anniversary, things were hard. I remembered the last time I had a real conversation with him... the last time I kissed him... the last time I saw him... and the last time he received the Eucharist (only days before his death). Mom and I reminisced about the time we had with him, both good and bad. Mom told me the story of how dad was shocked that I basically shooed them out the door on my first of school. Everyone else cried, I didn't... I had a little twinkle in my eye and I just wanted to learn. Also, I was ready for school at like 5 a.m. and dad would tell me to go back to sleep. Oh yes, the academia bug hit quite early. :D I don't remember any of that but my mom does and so that was a great story for me to hear. It was things like this, hearing stories I don't remember, that helped keep me sane. It was also the feedback I've gotten about my article.

If you haven't already guessed, the article I wrote for Envoy Magazine was about the gift that my father (both my earthly father and my Heavenly Father) gave me. I wrote about things I never wrote or even mentioned before to either friends or anywhere on this blog. So far the feedback has been positive. Everyone apparently has cried while reading it which I hope is in a good way. A good friend of mine, Elizabeth (who was my buddy in Ethics class last year), called me yesterday and told me how proud she was of me and what I'd written. She's a hardcore Catholic (and we were the only "conservatives" in the class so we've stuck together ever since) and she's been amazing support. She said that she remembered when I would skip a lecture because I had to go to the doctor with my father and she took notes for me. It made the article feel personal for her, but others who don't know me at all have also been touched... which has touched me as well. All I've ever wanted was to be there for others in some way; to make them feel like they're not alone in dealing with these kind of issues and I am so thankful to God for allowing me to do so with this article.

Everyone who's emailed me, or called me if you personally know me... thank you. Thank you so much for giving me emotional strength I needed to get through this past week. Thank you so much for your prayers... and those who asked me to pray for you for one reason or another, your petitions will be listed in my prayer book list that I keep. :) And while I'm thanking people, thanks to my friends who have been incredible this past year. My family's not as close as others are (it's just mom, my older brother -- the closest one to my age, and I) so thank you for being my adopted siblings. :)

By the way, to not end this on a completely emotional (sorry, I'm just very much like this) note, I've found the answer to busting the blues: BABIES! We have the cutest little 6 month old neighbor and she's actually helped when I've been just depressed. All I have to do is visit her and see the big dimply smile she greets me with and that just makes me feel so much better. She also likes to laugh and try to chat with me which is adorable. I'm very a baby person so it's something as small as her smile that she busts the blues. :) I'm telling you... it works. :D

Alright I have about two back posts that I haven't published so I'm going to try to finish them and post them soon. I hope everyone has had a great week thus far and will continue to have a good week. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D

Novena in Honor of Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati - Day Three

The Novena to Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati - Day Three:

Jesus says: “Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.”

Pier Giorgio responds: “With violence you sow hatred, and you harvest its bad fruits. With charity, you sow peace among men – not the peace that the world gives, but the true peace that only faith in Jesus Christ can give us in common brotherhood.”

We pray: Blessed Pier Giorgio, guide me in claiming my rightful inheritance as a child of God and heir of His kingdom. Show me, by your own example, how to be slow to anger, and gentle in my dealings with others. Help me to show forth the peace of Christ by speaking words of peace, and by living a life of peace.

Blessed Pier Giorgio, I ask for your intercession in obtaining from God, Who is meek and humble of heart, all the graces necessary for my spiritual and temporal welfare. I confidently turn to you for help in my present need: (mention your request.)

Daily Closing Prayers
(for private devotion)

Lord, have mercy. Lord, have mercy.
Christ, have mercy. Christ, have mercy.
Lord, have mercy. Lord, have mercy.

God our Father in heaven, have mercy on us.
God the Son, Redeemer of the world, have mercy on us.
God the Holy Spirit, have mercy on us.
Holy Trinity, One God, have mercy on us.

Holy Mary, pray for us.
All the angels and saints, pray for us.

Blessed Pier Giorgio, pray for us. (Repeat after each invocation.)
Loving son and brother,
Support of family life,
Friend of the friendless,
Most Christian of companions,
Leader of youth,
Helper of those in need,
Teacher of charity,
Patron of the poor,
Comfort of the sick,
Athlete for God’s kingdom,
Conqueror of life’s mountains,
Defender of truth and virtue,
Opponent of every injustice,
Patriotic citizen of the nation,
Loyal son of the Church,
Devoted child of the Madonna,
Ardent adorer of the Eucharist,
Fervent student of the Scriptures,
Dedicated follower of St. Dominic,
Apostle of prayer and fasting,
Guide to a deep love for Jesus,
Diligent in work and study,
Joyful in all of life’s circumstances,
Strong in safeguarding chastity,
Silent in pain and suffering,
Faithful to the promises of Baptism,
Model of humility,
Example of detachment,
Mirror of obedience,
Man of the Beatitudes,

Lamb of God, You take away the sins of the world, have mercy on us.
Lamb of God, You take away the sins of the world, have mercy on us.
Lamb of God, You take away the sins of the world, have mercy on us.

Pray for us, Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati,
That we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.

Let us pray: Father, You gave to the young Pier Giorgio Frassati the joy of meeting Christ and of living his faith in service of the poor and the sick. Through his intercession, may we, too, walk the path of the Beatitudes and follow the example of his generosity, spreading the spirit of the Gospel in society. We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen.

IMPRIMATUR, November 2, 1994:
+Joseph A. Galante, D.D., J.C.D., Bishop of Beaumont, TX

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Btw, just saw on Patrick Madrid's Facebook that the latest issue of Envoy Magazine is now out... which is exciting because it's the issue in which my article, A Gift From My Father, was published in. :D I can't wait until I have the actual, physical copy in my hands. :D

Okay, I am going to go work on my novel some more since I know I will be stuck in bed for at least another couple of hours. (The anxiety is getting ridiculous.)

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D

It's Official: I'm Getting Published

Now, before everyone gets too excited, I must remind y'all that I'm still under the May 28th deadline to finish my novel -- which is actually on the brink of finally being completed. :D Having said that, y'all know I am not talking about my novel. Do you guys and gals remember me alluding to some big news that I wanted to share but couldn't until I got the official word? Well, today I got the message from Patrick Madrid that an article I'd written for Envoy Magazine will be indeed be published in the next issue. :D I wrote this article back in late January-early February and I don't know how I managed to contain my excitement all these months. I know my own posse (haha!) is surprised by the news because, really, only two people (one of them being my good friend Kathryn) outside my immediate family knew I'd written this article. lol.

I won't say what I wrote about, you'll have to wait until the issue is published to read it for yourselves. I will say that it was something very personal and near and dear to my heart... and it took me much longer to write than anything else I've written (except for the novel). It's a little nerve wrecking since I haven't had anything really published on this level before. My former college's literary magazine doesn't really count since I mainly helped on the artwork and that book of poems that I wrote (and was technically published) when I was 12 years old was a little thing. This is big for me and I am blessed and honored to have gotten this chance. :D

This is all I can say... for now. This is a huge deal for me because I got to write something that I both loved and for a Catholic publication, which is really what I've wanted to do. Though I just returned to the faith less than 4 years ago, I've been "training" to be a writer since I was a little bambina and being able to combine it with my other passion (my faith) is just amazing. :D

One thing, though, don't expect to see the name Emmy Cecilia on it since I am using my actual name. Emmy is a nickname I was given (and the name a majority of my friends and professors call me) and Cecilia is my confirmation name. I will let you guys what name to look for when the issue comes out (although, if you're on my Facebook list you already know what name to look for.)

Well, it's still early and I have many errands to run so I will try to publish the back posts (two Music Mondays, two movie reviews, two book reviews, etc) later on today or early tomorrow morning. :D

I hope you all have a great day and are having a wonderful week thus far. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D