7 Quick Takes Vol. 6: Happiness Is... Edition

-- 1 --

Happiness is... my spiritual direction meeting going well. Yesterday's meeting made me feel better about the decisions I have made regarding my career path and vocation. I was able to work through some things that were stopping me before and now I'm at peace with my decisions. The feeling of tranquility is a welcome change after three previous of stress and crying jags.

-- 2 --

Happiness is... choosing to do Speech-Language Pathology for the right reasons. I was worried that I would be choosing this path for the wrong reasons but, ultimately, I remembered why I wanted to choose this new path. Once my career in the field is established, I will go after the Master's in Theology. Like (new mama) Julie and my spiritual director said, I am young enough to still do both. And, as my SD jokingly said, I don't look old enough to teach Theology just yet. lol.

-- 3 --

Happiness is... feeling reassured that my initial discernment of being called to be a wife and mother some day seems to be the right one. I figured out what was stopping me from really getting out there and start dating again. Simply put, I got too comfortable being single. Y'all know that I don't like blogging about this part of my life but I will make a quick exception this time. I purposely took myself out of the "dating market" because my focus for a long time was on helping others and not so much on doing things for myself. Lately I've been feeling like it's time to go forward in that area. And that's all you're getting. ;)

-- 4 --

Happiness is... having fun freelance writing assignments this week. Though I had more work than usual, the assignments were quite short and easy to write so I had a lot of free time on my hands. This normally doesn't happen. I'm usually either swamped with work or I have no work at all. I like the balance I had this week and hope that it continues.

-- 5 -- 

Happiness is not... realizing that the Year of Faith is almost done and I am way behind on my Catechism reading. The project of reading the entire Catechism in a single year was going well until they pulled the plug for legal reasons and had to start using the YouCat version. I personally don't like the YouCat version too much so I'm trying to go through with the original plan. I'll get there. My goal for October is to finish reading it before the month ends.

-- 6 --

Happiness is not... having insomnia for the past week. I honestly don't know why I can't fall asleep early. I don't think I've ever had this problem either. The only day I was zonked out before midnight was on the night that baby Grace (Julie's cutie pie daughter) was born. I ended up missing the text when she was born because I was so exhausted that night. Of course. Besides that one good day, I've struggled to fall asleep before 1:30 a.m., despite still having the 4:30 a.m. wake up time. I even struggle to nap before 5:30 a.m., which is just weird for me. No me gusta.

-- 7 --

Happiness is... getting a ton of snail mail from friends. Y'all know how to make a girl happy. Kendra's little guy, Henry, even sent artwork he made for me. I posted the picture up on Twitter and my Instagram if anyone wants to see his mad art skills. Oh, and P.S., if any guy ever wants to woo me, this is how to do it. I'm a sucker for a well written letter.

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

And now I'm off to finish my last writing assignment for the week. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

What I Learned Wednesday #19: Saints in Love Edition

I finally finished this book (Saints in Love by Carole Hallundbaek) on Monday night (whoo!) and now I can do a sort-of review through my What I Learned Wednesday post. I usually just post 3 short things I learned about the Faith during the week but there's so much to cover that I'm going to make them a little bit longer than usual.

1. I may have a reputation of being a sort of "patron saint encyclopedia", but I really don't know much about the many of the saints' lives. I may know who is the patron saint of specific things but I don't know their life stories. I loved the last chapter of the book, which focused on the relationship between St. Francis de Sales and St. Jane Frances de Chantal. I even sent this note to myself that night, before I forgot:

"It is a strong yet peaceful desire to learn about and from them (St. Francis de Sales and St. Jane Frances de Chantal) as I think they may be the ones who will be amongst those who will help me in my next chapter in life."

I was reading about all the wonderful things that all the saints featured (St. Francis of Assisi and St. Clare, St. Teresa of Avila and St. John of the Cross, St. Catherine of Siena and Pope Gregory XI, and St. Francis de Sales and St. Jane Frances de Chantal) had accomplished but I knew little about their actual lives. The book did cover the basics but I did know the basics of about half of them so it wasn't anything new for me. Now I have a desire to learn more, especially on the ones that inspired me this week.

2. I like learning about my saints without having sex come into it. Yes, it's been established that I'm a "prude" (and proud) but I don't actually see sex as a bad thing. In a Theology of the Body way, it's a good thing (from what I've read). In a lustful, bow-chicka-wow-wow way, not so much. There were a couple of times that I felt the author was trying way too hard to bring sex into the relationship between the two saints she was featuring. I'm not saying that the Evil One hadn't tempted them (I don't know that) but it wasn't even that. I actually read some parts to my friend Delaney (when she was visiting a couple of weeks ago) and she agreed that it was all just unnecessary and uncomfortable. As someone who has a lot of guy friends whom I respect and don't look at as more than brothers (and vice versa), I didn't appreciate some of the things that were written. It IS possible to have a friendship with a member of the opposite sex without any funny business.

That being said, there were some things about sex that the author talked about that I liked. There was a quote she added that I really liked; "Celibacy is not about never falling in love, it's about falling in love over and over and over again." (pg. 46) I understood and appreciate that. Like I said, sex is not a bad thing. I'm obviously not talking from experience but I've read enough on the Sacrament of Marriage to not be (entirely) freaked out about it. lol. Just, please keep it away from my saints that were friends and respected each other. Please. No need to bring it up unnecessarily.

3. I might have found the right Third/Lay Order for myself thanks to this book. I've looked into (but only superficially) a plethora of Third/Lay Orders but none have really touch me the way the Salesian spirituality did. I haven't really learned much about it (other than they are called Salesian Cooperators) but what I did read made me think that it may be the right one for me. I still have to look into it but, as I have already said, I was really inspired by St. Francis de Sales and St. Jane Frances de Chantal... and it's made me feel more confident and at peace about my decisions regarding my career choice and my vocation. In fact, I think I'm very ready for whenever God feels I should start the next chapter in my life. :)

That's what I learned on my journey of learning more about myself and the Faith this week. Like I said in the beginning of this post, there's so much to cover that it would be impossible to do so in a single blog post. I will say that I both liked and didn't like this book for the reasons I talked about. I learned a lot about myself, about the saints, and about the saints relationships with each other and with God.

I can't say whether I recommend this book or not. I mean, I liked a good portion of it but I really had a hard time getting through parts of it.

And now I'm going to go keep my eye on my cell phone because I'm on Bebe Baldwin watch and I don't want to miss anything. Please keep Julie in your prayers because it looks her baby wants to meet her and her husband soon!

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

10 Things You Might've Not Known About This Nerd

I have done this twice before and like to revive the tradition every two years-ish. The first one was written in 2009 and the last one was written in late 2011 so I think it's time to do one again, especially since I have a ton of new readers. So, without further ado, some things you might've not known about me.

1. At my graduation last year, I walked across the stage with my head down out of sheer panic. Those who have met me in person know that I am really shy and quiet when I first meet people and that I hate any sort of attention on me. Since the graduation ceremony was held at the Universal Amphitheater (read: HUGE place), I was utterly uncomfortable with the attention. It didn't help that each graduate's walk across the stage was on a huge screen. When they called my name, I think I turned bright red, looked down at my feet, and walked off-stage as quickly as my little feet could carry me. lol.

2. I actually don't like being a freelance writer; I'd rather tutor than write... Don't get me wrong, I love writing. Any time I get a chance to write something Catholic related or work on something that I can create with my wild imagination, I am happy. Sadly, most of my assignments have been a pain to write and/or the clients have been very rude and picky. "300 words exactly, not one less or more or you'll do it over again." "You call that an article? You didn't follow my directions to a T so now I am docking your pay!" Yikes! The only non-Catholic ones that I've really enjoyed have been the articles I've written for H&R Block's blog.

3. ... but if I could make a living out of writing fiction/novels, I'd rather do that than anything else. I am way behind schedule on finishing my novel (and the sequel has actually been started) because I've had to rewrite a couple of things to make the plot flow better. Thankfully I have an amazing beta reader/editor (Kiera) who helps me immensely. If I can make a career out of writing, I'm hiring her as my editor... even if she doesn't know it yet. lol. Oh, and I think the Spotify playlists for the main characters are still up if you want to try to figure out their personalities.

4. My way of "handling" things such as violence and/or death is by feeling faint. This is a symptom of PTSD. Seeing my father die right in front of me and living in an apartment complex that has had both a bomb threat (for which everyone except my father and I were evacuated) and a shooting that took place in our section. Even if I know someone's death is fictional (like Lady Sybil's death on Downton Abbey), I will feel like I'm going to pass out. Now friends will know why I will pass on action films.

5. I like to have "themed" literary months. December will always be Jane Austen month for me. November is the Chronicles of Narnia month. October is Catholic saints month. etc. Sometimes the theme is "finish reading all the books you started but didn't complete" because I tend to read at least 2-3 books at a time and sometimes I am so busy with work that they get pushed aside for weeks at a time.

6. I make way too many references to my favorite books, shows, and songs when talking to people. The top 5: Jane Austen ("You have no compassion for my poor nerves!"), Doctor Who (usually about the TARDIS being drunk), Elf ("you sit on a throne of lies!"), Mean Girls (I don't actually love this movie but it's so quotable; "Four for you *insert first name* Coco. You go, *insert first name* Coco."), and The Philadelphia Story ("Oh, C.K. Dexter Haaaaaveeeen...").

7. My friends love to take me shopping when they need something because the Hufflepuff in me can find things very quickly. Yes, that was a Harry Potter/A Very Potter Musical reference... and, yes, I got sorted into the Hufflepuff house on Pottermore. I am a Hufflepuff. Anyway, I have a knack for finding things incredibly fast so my girlfriends like taking me to stores so that I can cut their shopping time by more than half. Last time I did it, I found an entire outfit for one of my good friends in less than 15 minutes... and through racks she'd already gone through. Before that, I was taken to a record store to find some awesome vinyls of the jazz/blues genre for a friend's boyfriend. I should charge for my services. lol. 

8. I drive like a grandma according to some people. I stick to speed limits and will rarely go faster and that drives some of my friends crazy. I'm sorry but the speed limits are there for a reason and if you've ever driven in L.A., you know why I'm super cautious when I drive. People be cray cray. There are way too many almost accidents in my part of L.A.

9. Though I stink at html, graphics, and all of that, I am very proud of myself for creating the blog's new look. Yes, I only customized a Blogger template and I didn't make the banner graphic (I only found the font and used it to write "Journey of a Catholic Nerd Writer") but still. Better than nothing! I am happy because the previous layout was too cluttered for my taste (it was made that way by someone else). Let me have this little moment of happiness. Please. 

10. Every person and time in my life has a song unintentionally assigned to them. I'm very musically inclined (and I actually miss my guitar very much at the moment) so this isn't that much of a surprise. Every friend has a song that I associate them with. Every big event in my life has a song attached to it. However, no one knows what songs they are... and they may never know. ;) I will say that friends have done the same to me and the top 3 I get are "Rhapsody in Blue" by George Gershwin, "Sing Sing Sing" by Benny Goodman, and "Georgia on my Mind" by Ray Charles -- all favorite songs of mine.

And now you know a little more about me. I am going to go work on my novel now since I have loads of free time tonight. :D Hope this wasn't too boring for y'all. 

As always, thanks for reading and God bless. :D

I Don't Regret Taking Care of My Parents in My 20s

This week I had a fun (well, fun for me) freelance writing assignment about having compassion when taking care of aging loved ones. Even though I may still be in my 20s, most of you lovely readers know that I have my fair share of experience in this department. The assignment triggered memories about what it's like (and how much I've have to give up) taking care of my parents. Naturally I thought: hey, blog post! And now here we are. lol.

For those who are new to the blog, here's the gist of my story: I can't exactly pinpoint when my parents became a priority of mine. My dad was first diagnosed with cancer in my late teens. I ended up finishing part of my junior year and all of my senior year in a single semester. Yes, I completed 13 classes in 3 months, a year and a half ahead of schedule. I helped as much as I could while my dad did chemotherapy and went into remission. I didn't start college until I was 19. When the cancer came back (or I would get sick; anxiety/PTSD relapse), I would either go to school part time or take a semester off. The third and last the (now terminal) cancer returned, I fought Medi-Care and Medi-Cal from their constant threats of discontinuing my father's chemotherapy. I spent hours on the phone arguing with them instead of studying. I took a year off after his death to finish my degree. Somewhere towards the end of my senior year of college it became obvious that I would need to begin to take care of my mother. With her failing memory and health problems, I am going through my second round of taking care of a parent at a young age... and I don't regret it.

What I gave (and am giving) up: I gave up my "youth" in order to take care of my parents. From my late teens until now (my late 20s), I had to give up being "young" in the "young and irresponsible" sense. To be fair, a lot of things never appealed to me. Getting drunk? Going to Vegas? Staying out until the wee hours of the night? Going to parties every weekend? Nope, sorry; never my cup of tea. I also give up sleep on a daily basis as my mom doesn't drive and she starts work at 5 a.m. Yes, I get up that early to drive her to work.

I gave up my dream of attending school abroad. I never did make it to UBC (my dream school), Bath Spa University (where I was headed to prior to my father's second cancer diagnosis), nor Oxford where I was encouraged by a professor to apply. I gave up dating because I knew it wouldn't be fair to anyone to be put into that situation.

I am currently giving up my dream to move out of L.A. (seriously, someone get me out of here!) for grad school because of how things are with mom. If she hadn't started getting lost in our own neighborhood, I would've applied to UBC's Audiology and Speech-Language Pathology grad program... in a heartbeat.

Yes, I've given up (and will continue to give up) a lot... but it doesn't even matter to me. Everything I've ever given up doesn't compare to what I've gained.

I've learned how to differentiate between wants and needs. I've learned that, though it's harder, putting others needs before my own has made me happier. I think about it this way: I am only going to get one set of parents in my lifetime. I had a great father for the first 24 years of my life. I hope to have my amazing mother with me for many more years to come, even if that means giving up more in order to help her. I only have (and had with my father) one shot to thank them for everything they've ever given me and I can't think of a better way to do that than by helping them when they need it. I know a lot of people were disappointed in me for choosing Speech-Language Pathology instead of Theology because it was a way to help my mother instead of following my desire to immerse myself in Theology, but that's just how it has to be.

I sometimes think about my vocation. Though I have been pretty certain that it's being a wife and mother someday, I sometimes get these little moments of doubt. I start thinking "what guy is going to want to marry me when I have my mother to take care of?" We're sort of a packaged deal at this point. Where I go, she goes. While she won't interfere in that department (she has never meddled in any of my relationships), it's going to take some super amazing fella to accept me with her.

I get asked a lot of questions about my relationship with my parents and having had a lot of tough decisions to make as a young woman and I hope this post has answered many of them. :) P.S., Yes, I'm such an INFP... lol.

I should go eat something now. I haven't had lunch and it's almost 3 p.m. Oops. :)

I hope you all have a great weekend!

As always, thanks for reading and God bless!

7 Quick Takes Vol. 5

Since I didn't get a chance to do a What I Learned Wednesday Post (though I did prepare; not enough time to write it), you're getting a 7 Quick Takes posts this week.

-- 1 --

As soon as I realized that I had less than a year to catch up on my reading (I have a feeling I won't be doing much non-school related reading in grad school), I started trying to play catch up. I finished North & South by Elizabeth Gaskell this week but I cannot finish Saints in Love by Carole Hallundbaek (which I can't find a link to? Is it out of print?). This was actually the topic of my WILW post this week. I'm going to post it next week because I need to sort of review it and I did learn a lot from it. There are just some things I find unnecessary. I read part of it to my friend Delaney when she came to stay with me for a couple of days earlier this month and she agreed that it was just awkward and there was absolutely no need for it. Let's see if some of you agree next week.

-- 2 -- 

I cannot believe the amount of feedback I received from my The Fear of Not Being Holy; Having a Secular Job post. I not only received a surprising amount of hits from various sources but I received the most comments outside of Blogger (mostly private Twitter messages) ever. It seems that there are several of us 20-somethings that are in the same boat with the similar thoughts and feelings. While I cannot say I'm an expert on the subject and thus cannot give advice, I am always here to hear y'all out. And, for the record, I have reached a decision but I'm going to talk to my spiritual director next week before I go forward.

-- 3 --

You know the freaky saint and good vs evil dreams I usually have (go ahead and search "dreams" on this blog)? I had one a couple of days ago that involved Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI, Pope Francis, the Evil One, the Blessed Virgin Mary, a ton of holy water, something burning, and the singing of "Ave Maria." Without going into detail, let's just say that the Evil One was laughing and happy about something and then Mama Mary came and got rid of him. At the end I was holding a candle and singing "Ave Maria." It was kind of trippy and I woke up a little freaked out.

-- 4 -- 

Something I re-learned about myself this week: man, I've always been a crier... and that will never go away. lol. I know that some people view tears as a sign of weakness but I don't. It just reminds me that I care about people in general. That simple. At first I was a puddle due to stress and then I was a puddle because seeing people suffer (or seeing them cry out of sheer joy) makes me cry. I don't even know these people but my heart goes out to them.

-- 5 -- 

I hate how horrible MSM is. I'm glad I took that intro to Journalism class my freshman year of college so I could be better prepared and not to be completely uncharitable. Still, I was so irked by the spinning they did yesterday that I tweeted this in frustration.

Days like today make me want to get my MA in Theology and bop little shoddy-foo foo reporters on the head.
— Emmy Cecilia (@nerdwriter) September 20, 2013

I think that says it all.

-- 6 -- 

The St. Therese of Lisieux novena begins on Sunday. I am grateful for the roses she sent me (blue; yes, I picked a random color) recently because it helped me with my decision about grad school. She's been my buddy for years now and I am so grateful for all her help. I don't have a specific intention for myself so if you have something you'd like me to pray for, let me know!

-- 7 -- 

Watch this video. This is a great reminder of why it's best to get to know someone before you write them off due to their appearances... or vice versa.

And that's it for this round. ;)

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D