I Have Zero Plans For My Life

I think some (okay, almost all) of the people in my life are utterly perplexed over my decision to not make any plans regarding my future. I have zero plans for my life. I have no clarity about what God wants me to do but not even that is making any big impact on me.

"So, wait, you don't have any plans?"

Beyond finishing the memoir and working on my third novel (two separate works), no. Before anyone panics, this isn't a cry for help nor anything of the sort. I'm not disappearing. I'm not depressed or having any thoughts that would condemn to automatic eternity in h-e-double hockey sticks. On the contrary; I can't remember the last time I felt this happy, this at peace, or this excited about the future. I've simply decided to let God have full control of my future. Complete control. I'm not planning anything long term. I know... it's weird for me not to have plans in place. It's a new territory for me.

Sure, I plan on looking for a job so I can pay back my student loans, but I don't have a specific field I'm looking at. I'm letting God take the reins in regards to what field I'll be working in. Yes, I do have plans to hang out with friends in the next week. Obviously, I have some writing to do. Besides that, no concrete plans. I don't even have birthday plans (which I love to plan for) and my birthday is coming up at the end of this month. Any plans I have are short term and no longer than 2 weeks in advance. These plans can also be changed as needed.

As I said in the last blog post, something happened between the 54-day Rosary novena I did last year and this past Lent that made me change in a profound way. I no longer care for this that I used to; things that made me shallow, vain, prideful, etc. As Easter approached, I knew that I wanted to surrender everything to God. If I had a religious vocation, this would've been easier for me to do -- to renounce the things that the world was offering me that were no longer bringing me joy or bringing me closer to God. Alas, I have no religious vocation. Recently, I even opened up myself to the possibility of becoming a consecrated laywoman but my desire for a family is too great.

I've known for years that this -- being a wife and mama -- is to be my future vocation. Again, since the Rosary novena, that desire has grown exponentially and my vocation in that area is the only thing that is perfectly clear to me. God is in control there as well, though I've had to ask St. Joseph and the Immaculate Heart of Mary for help to keep my heart safe from vultures in the past couple of months. No plans there either. Even if there are plans, y'all know I probably wouldn't talk/blog about them until like the day after my wedding, ninja-style. lol.

My former spiritual director advised me to wait until I was done with school to discern becoming a lay Dominican. The Oblates of the Order of St. Benedict have also appealed to me recently so I'll be looking into both of those. That reminds me... I should probably look into finding a solid spiritual director soon. Since I have no plans to return to academia in any capacity anytime soon, and since I have zero plans overall, it's a good time to start this discernment. A certain L.A. seminarian needs to get on my case about that. Ahem. lol.

I'm really enjoying my little domestic routine I fall into every time I'm not in school. I love pulling up Spotify on my laptop or iPod touch and singing and dancing along to the music as I clean the house. I actually love cleaning -- vacuuming, dusting, putting things in the proper place, washing dishes by hand, etc. Even there are only two of us living in this apartment, I still regularly clean the house and keep it organized. I do the grocery shopping. I'm the one who keeps track of all financial things. I take care of the car and I fix things that need to be fixed around the house (I'm very much my father's daughter). I even took apart the vacuum a couple of days ago to fix it. I split cooking duties with Mom but baking is my thing. It's my jam (no pun intended) -- I love the domestic life.

As you can see, I'm basically going with the flow. I'm open to anything God puts in my path. It's been working well for me except I can get bored at times (lol, oh, Emmy...). During these moments of boredom, I just grab a book and read, clean the house, or I try to catch up with friends. It's become clear that I need to take this time to get myself a little healthier so I'm simply playing it by ear. Where things will go, we shall see. Kind of exciting, huh? lol.

There's something intensely beautiful and liberating yet somewhat frightening about leaving everything up to God. It's frightening because you have no idea what He has in store for you. I have no idea what is coming up. I don't know if I'm going to endure more hardships or -- if there are some coming up -- if they'll be worse than what I've dealt with up until now. I don't know if I'm going to get a sudden break and things will start working out for me. I don't know when I'll get a job or pay off my student loans. I don't know when my dream of being a wife and mama will finally happen. I don't know anything except that I love God and I trust Him with my life. That is why I'm doing what I'm doing; that's the beautiful and liberating part.

That's my answer to people freaking out about the changes I've made lately. I'm happy and at peace. Have I said that enough for people will start believing me when I say it? lol. There's no need for any alarm. I'm in a good place across the board. Saying goodbye to certain social media accounts was good to do because now I don't sit around and just scroll through everything now that I have way too much free time. I have to use my creativity -- and remembering what needs to be done -- to fill my life. It's quite lovely.

I think that's it for now. Hopefully, this will be the last of these kinds of posts. I don't want to keep repeating myself but, apparently, I need to keep reassuring people I'm okay. I'm good. If I wasn't so camera shy, I'd post a picture of me giving you a thumbs up so... virtual thumbs up. Insert dorky grin here, too. lol.

Okay, I'm going to go get a snack and read. Maybe. I don't even know what I'm going to do for the rest of my day. ;)

I hope you are all doing well!

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

I Enrolled in the Confraternity of the Most Holy Rosary

One of my many rosaries and my crucifix from Jerusalem.

Yesterday was Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati's birthday. Happy 116th, PGF! A couple of days ago I found out that the Tipi Loschi group (which was founded in Italy and mirrors the group Bl. Pier Giorgio belonged to prior to his untimely death) was planning to gather all of Bl. Pier Giorgio's devotees/fans/friends to pray the Luminous Mysteries for his birthday. Being a card-carrying member of the Frassati fangirls, I knew I was going to participate. I put it into my Wunderlist app (while I'm using until I can get a physical planner) and even put an alarm on my iPod touch since the plan was to pray it between 3 and 8 p.m. 

While I was reading the letter of invitation to join in the spiritual gift, I found out that he had been enrolled in the Confraternity of the Rosary when he was only 17 years old! Despite having read many books and having watched many specials/videos about his life, this was the first time I'd heard of it -- of both the Confraternity and Bl. Pier Giorgio's enrollment. Curious person that I am, I searched more information about the Confraternity. I landed on the Eastern U.S.'s Confraternity page (the U.S. has 4 separate Dominican provinces) and read a bit about what it was. Thinking that perhaps I wanted to enroll myself, I followed the link to the Western U.S.'s Confraternity page and read everything about what the Confraternity was.

Have you ever done something without much thought because it was one of those "no brainer"/"it feels like the right thing to do" deals? This was one of those for me. I pray the Rosary on a daily basis, only having missed it once this year and only because I felt so awful that I was passed out most of the day. As soon as I finish this latest (and, most likely, last) degree, I'm going to discern becoming a lay Dominican (or possibly an oblate of St. Benedict; more on this in a future blog post). All of these things -- as well as a slight change in how I pray the Rosary -- just slotted together and it made perfect sense to enroll. What better day to do it than on Bl. Pier Giorgio's birthday? Actually, I didn't think about how it was a perfect "birthday gift" until after I had done it. I was more focused on the fact that it felt a peace and a joy (and excitement) about enrolling. 

After I enrolled, I prayed the Luminous Mysteries with meditations based on Bl. Pier Giorgio's words and words of those who knew him. The meditations brought a new dimension to the Luminous Mysteries -- which have always been the hardest mysteries for me to pray and meditate on -- that I actually printed them out to pray more often on Thursdays. I had a few inspirations while praying the Rosary (which I acted upon after I finished praying; don't worry, they were all good) and I just felt so at peace with everything. 

It also got me thinking that I may return to praying the Rosary with the Luminous Mysteries more often. I hadn't prayed them for months because I had been doing the traditional 15-mystery (Joyful, Sorrowful, and Glorious only) Rosary since All Saints' Day last year and (mostly) only the Sorrowful Mysteries during Lent (with the exception of Glorious mysteries on Sundays). As much as I loved praying them in the traditional order, I think that I've prayed the Luminous mysteries for so long (since my reversion) that it felt like a huge hole in my prayer life when I skipped them on Thursdays. 

Is anyone else enrolled in the Confraternity? Is anyone a lay Dominican? I'd love to hear what you think of it and how it's enriched your prayer life!

It's really early (8:32 a.m.!) for a blog post but I've actually been up since 4:15 a.m. I only got about 2 and a half hours of sleep and I haven't been able to fall asleep since I got up to help Mom get to work. Since I'm now currently waiting for sleepiness to kick in so I can take a nap, and since I know that I don't have the mental sharpness to study for tomorrow's exam, I thought I'd blog about this new development. My spiritual life has been on a roller coaster this Lent but this is something positive that I wanted to share. :D

Alright, I'm going to go try to pray and hope that I fall asleep soon so that I can have the rest of the day to study with the concentration I need. I've already done all the things I normally do on a daily basis (such as check my email and do a daily online puzzle) that don't require much brain power so that I won't have distractions or the temptation of distractions for the rest of the day. 

I hope y'all are still having a lovely week!

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

Moving Forward with Trust and (Some) Confusion

This is how I've felt my moments of silence and prayer have gone lately:

Me: God, I'm confused. I thought I was supposed to take this one route yet things are working out for the other route.
God: Do you trust Me?
Me: Yes, I'm just confused as to why I feel like the other path was the one I was supposed to go down on but it didn't work out. I'm not even sure I like this other path.
God: Do you trust Me?
Me: Yes. I just don't know what I'm doing anymore. Have I been wrong all this time? Was I just supposed to get certain things out of my system by experiencing them so I could put all my effort into this other route?
God: Do you trust Me?
Me: Yes.
God: Then let go. Keep going down this path. Don't plan so far ahead and don't overthink things. Trust in Me and you'll get to where you're supposed to be.
Me: Okay. (inwardly panics because I like to have everything planned ahead of time.)

My eye-opening moments have not ceased since the last blog post I wrote. I feel like my entire world is getting turned upside, but in a good way. A lot of things that I was certain about? They no longer seem like they're what I expected. Example: grad school and career path.

I was certain that I was supposed to do the Theology MA degree. I felt in my element doing the coursework. I loved learning more about the faith. I did well (that C in Theology during the Fall quarter following my car accident notwithstanding). Then the whole thing with me having to suddenly leave JP Catholic happened. That was followed by the (also seemingly sudden) change back to the SLP field.

In a lot of ways, my eyes have been opened to the possibility that maybe the SLP field is where I belong after all. I've already done well in my previous course. I even have the option of taking an extra course to qualify for Latin Honors. (side note: I've declined because I don't need an extra class and I'm perfectly fine not getting honors at graduation; I'm not even planning on attending the graduation ceremony next May.)

It's been pointed out that I have a surprising amount of patience for children. It seems to be a sort of "superpower" because I can handle a lot of things most adults can't. Maybe not having children at 31 and having a desire for children makes me more patient. *shrugs* The children seem to respond well to me. Looking far younger than my years might be helping me there. I worked with a group of 3-5 year-olds with speech impediments two years ago and I had one very shy little guy open up to me after the first day. That helps a lot in this field, especially since my focus is on young children with speech impediments.

Perhaps I was meant to do a bit of the Theology MA before returning to the SLP field so I could be sure about my other discernment -- becoming a lay Dominican. My former SD did say I should finish school before I committed to going through that process. Maybe I was meant to see that this (Dominican instead of Carmelite) was the path I need to take while I work as an SLP/A. (Another side note: I'm currently not sure if I'll stay as an assistant or become a full SLP; I will revisit the idea in another two years). Not all lay Dominicans are professors or working in the education field. Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati was working towards his mining engineer degree before his death and he was a lay Dominican. Maybe I'll finish that Theology MA one day as a lay Dominican.

I've been having a lot of "well, that didn't work out as I planned but, okay, that actually makes a lot of sense" moments lately. I need to either see if my former SD would be willing to meet with me to help me figure this out or get some major peace about the new plans. Like I said, I feel like my world has been flipped upside down and I'm now taking things one day at a time. Besides the upcoming school year, I'm not planning anything else ahead of time. What's that saying? "If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans"? Okay. No more planning. Taking things as they come. I'm down with that. Wait, are they kids still saying that? *shrugs* Playing it by ear, folks. ;)

So that's what's been up with me lately. I've been very, very physically fatigued lately but I kind of figured out that it was probably because we had maintenance workers at our apartment almost every day, all day for a couple of weeks and that just drained me of my introverted energy. If I need a day or two to recover from hanging out with friends, imagine how much more time I need to recover from having these gregarious (read: super extroverted) maintenance workers at my apartment for days and weeks at a time. I'll be fine. :D

Anyway, I think that's it from me for now. Gotta leave some things for the next blog post. ;)

I hope y'all are having a lovely week thus far! :)

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

Escape from Homeworkland and Other Updates

Can you hear the angels singing? They are singing because I've finally caught up with all the reading assigned for my Historical Books of the Old Testament course! YES! Everyone conga! I'd fallen behind two weeks due to a combination of lack of textbook and lack of concentration (amongst other things) but I've done it! To celebrate I'm going to blog. lol.

Now, this doesn't mean I'm caught up with doing my exams -- I have three to do -- but at least everything with a due date is done and I'm going to try to get at least 2 of those exams done by tonight so I can focus on my final project. I've been putting off taking the exams due to lack of concentration but hope a nap later today will help with that. The final project isn't due for another 3-4 weeks but I want to take my time doing it (because I'm so into the material) so I want to start a bit early. :D

All of this is a bit miraculous, especially if you know my track record with school over the last couple of years. I'm very much prone to procrastination. It's a major problem. Sometimes I allow little things to derail me. I use them as excuses. Now, I've had legitimate excuses lately.

On Tuesday I found out I'm slightly anemic once again. Though I've reached my weight goal (after struggling with being underweight for about 3 years; another fist pump in the air!) and my platelets and everything else is within normal range, my white and red blood count and ferritin levels are still a bit on the low side. Folate level? Abismal! That explains why I've been so fatigued lately. I've been napping more often than usual and I can't concentrate as easily due to the mental fatigue that accompanies the physical fatigue. Still, I've been able to get lectures and reading done (though I'm a week behind on lecture videos) as well as two exams (both of which I did well on) and discussion posts.

I think it's thanks to the intercession of the Holy Spirit, Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati, and St. Catherine of Siena that I've been able to accomplish as much as I have. First I asked Bl. Pier Giorgio and the Holy Spirit to intercede -- Bl. Pier Giorgio because he died a few exams short of receiving his degree and because studying didn't always come easy to him. The Holy Spirit because, well, it's obvious. ;) I asked Bl. Pier Giorgio to intercede because of my lack of concentration. I was doing well but still struggled once in awhile. Then the novena of St. Catherine of Siena started and I asked her to intercede when it came to the temptation to procrastinate (since she's a patroness against temptations). Fast forward a couple of weeks and I actually have the opportunity to be 2 weeks ahead in my textbook reading instead of 2 weeks behind. Thank you, Holy Spirit, Bl. Pier Giorgio, and St. Catherine of Siena!

It doesn't hurt that the textbooks and course material has been right up my alley. We've been learning -- as I mentioned at the beginning of the blog post -- about the historical books in the Old Testament. That is to say, we've been reading Joshua, Judges, Ruth, 1 Samuel, 2 Samuel, 1 Kings, and 2 Kings thus far. Next week we tackle 1 Chronicles and so forth. Is it possible to be in love with the material? Because I am. If there was any doubt that this was the path that God wanted me to take, it's gone.

Likewise, if there was any doubt that I have strong Dominican tendencies (which my spiritual director himself said I had a couple of years ago), it's gone. lol. After all my indecision between choosing either the Dominican and Carmelite orders, I can now see that I'm better suited for the Dominican lifestyle. However, my SD advised me to wait until I finished graduate school to start the process to become a lay Dominican. And, before anyone asks, yes, I'm sure I don't have a religious vocation. God has made that abundantly clear in my life, especially lately. Also, yes, I know that it's been through the intercession of two Dominican saints that I've been able to accomplish what I have in my course this quarter. ;)

Anyway, I just wanted to give y'all a little update on what's been going on with me since I've been pretty silent on this blog and on social media, though I've been a bit more active on Twitter lately.

Before I end this blog post can I just say how grateful I am with how things have worked out in my life lately? It's been a roller coaster ride with its ups and downs but everything has shown me that God is doing some incredible things in my life. He has shown me that He's heard my prayers for Him to help guide me down the path He wants me to take. As I reflected on Twitter a couple of nights ago, I'm grateful for the ability to take naps as needed. If I had a husband and children to take care, this anemia-induced fatigue would've made grad school difficult for me. That's not to say that I would prefer a Master's degree to a family -- I quite frankly don't; I honestly would've preferred to have gotten married and had children at a younger age instead -- but if it's God's will for me that I do this before I start a family then I'm grateful for the ability to do so. It's all about His plans and His timing. I'll expound more on this next time because I certainly have had a major breakthrough in this area.

For now, I'm going to say: I hope y'all are doing well! I think I'll get a chance to blog more often in the coming weeks but don't be surprised if I miss a couple of days whenever things are due. ;)

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

Considering Joining a Third/Lay Order

Before I get into the main topic of the post *points to title*, let me apologize for the lack of updates. Yes, I'm on vacation but I've spent almost every day getting through every inch of the apartment, in full Spring Clean-a-thon mode. Doesn't sound like much of a vacation but it'll be the only time I can get it done before my birthday next week and before I return to work (freelance writing, meh) the first week of June. Only 1.5 bedrooms are left but I am taking a break today to blog... and reblog a lot of Anne of Green Gable things on my tumblr. (side note: Gilbert Blythe has officially ousted Henry Tilney as my literary crush.) ;)

I've been thinking about joining a Third/Lay Order for years now. Ever since I figured out that my vocation wasn't a religious one, I looked into it but I haven't really researched it. I have my favorite Orders but I feel like I should look at all types of spirituality (i.e. Carmelite, Dominican, Benedictine, Passionist, etc.) to find the right fit for me. I don't like doing things on a whim or lightly so it's going to take some time but there are a few things that I know about myself that will help me decide. I won't say what they are (this time around) but when I've decided on things, I'll let y'all know. :)

When mom and I went to spend Mother's Day with the Carmelite Sisters of the Most Sacred Heart of Los Angeles, our wish (as it was my mother's as much as mine) to visit them. I've always been attracted to the Carmelites, I think even as a child of 6-7 when I used to proudly proclaim that I would one day become a nun. I didn't know the Carmelites by name but I remember liking the habits from that age. A couple of my favorite saints are Carmelites and I am enrolled in the Brown Scapular so this visit was going to happen at some point. I absolutely loved seeing them in their "natural habitat" (hope that doesn't sound too rude; I didn't any disrespect). They were all extremely friendly and praying the Rosary with them prior to Mass was amazing despite the horrid heat that day (it went up to 90-something degrees Fahrenheit). I loved being there but if I had any doubts of my vocation (as a laywoman and future wife and mama), it was the final "child, just be patient" sign. As much as I would've loved to have been a religious sister (and I really did want to be), I feel as if God has plans for me out here, "in the world" (as I like to say). Still, it doesn't mean that I can't join a Third Order. Just because I'm out "in the world" doesn't mean I'm going to belong to it. Does that make any sense?

I'll admit that I've only looked at the Carmelite and Dominican Third Orders because of the saints I love (St. Teresa of Avila and St. Therese of Lisieux for Carmelites and Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati for Dominicans) but I'll be doing my research before I get back to the tedious work grind.

And now we've come full circle without drawing out into a long blog post. You're welcome. ;) lol.

I really should get back to finishing the Clean-a-thon so I can enjoy the rest of my vacation. We're taking the train (not a fan of planes) for an out of town trip later this week so I want to get everything done before then. :)

I hope you are all having a great start of week. I hope to resume of What I Learned Wednesday posts tomorrow but don't hold me to it because I'm not sure how long it'll take me to get the two bedrooms (remember: I'm going inch by inch) done.

Prayers going out to those affected by the tornadoes as well as those who are still in danger zones. May St. Medard (patron against bad weather, tornadoes included) and St. Scholastica (patroness against storms) intercede so that more lives are spared, especially those in the tornadoes' paths of destruction.

As always, thanks for reading and God bless. :D

Let's Hear it for Daily Mass, Ladies and Gentlemen!

I love LOL Saints pictures. :)

Seriously though, let's have a round of applause for having the option to attend daily Mass. *claps* I cannot begin to describe how happy I am to go on an (almost) daily basis. I don't take it for granted because I know that some people live in rural areas where Mass isn't celebrated often. Also, I know most of us have crazy hectic lives and we can't always attend daily Mass. I myself can't go on Tuesdays and Thursdays because I have classes but I try to go on all other days. Even if, for some reason, I can't receive communion, I don't feel right if I don't go.

I was reflecting on this prior to Mass yesterday. I feel almost empty and incomplete when I don't attend Mass. It's like I miss out on something amazing (which I think I do). I didn't go today because I was so physically exhausted that I simply couldn't get out of bed because I felt a bit shaky. I do vaguely remember saying (out loud) "I do love you, God, but I am not feeling that great right now" before falling back asleep this morning. And now my day feels a bit off. (side note: I also didn't go to confession today but I wasn't in need of it (thank God) so I'm okay there.) I don't know why but this desire to attend daily Mass only increases as the weeks pass. I'm very grateful for the feeling though. It's already helped me out a lot.

As I said in a previous blog post, one of the things that I've noticed about attending daily Mass is that I am more conscience of my actions. I am able to be more charitable towards people who treat me poorly for whatever reason. I am more aware of when I could potentially do something wrong and/or sinful and I realize things early enough to be able to correct my actions. After receiving the Eucharist each morning, I feel complete. I feel so much more relaxed and calm throughout the day. My anxiety and stress levels due to school related things may be up but I still somehow feel better in general.

I know my vocation is sadly not a religious one (as much as I would've loved it to be; I grew up wanting to be a Carmelite nun) so I've been contemplating potentially becoming a Tertiary (Third Order) Carmelite or Dominican. I have such an intense desire to be a part of the Church and since I am not called to be a nun then I feel like maybe this is the right step for me. Both Orders really appeal to me so I will have to pray about this and see which one I would most benefit from as well as be able to contribute to. I've considered this step for a long time but it's only intensified with my daily trips to the nearby parish. :)

Another thing that has come up with my trips to daily Mass: I am not entirely sure I want to teach after I graduate. I mean, I do want to spread the Word and teach younger generations the Truth but I am not sure I would last very long in a classroom. My heart and head are both telling me that I would be happy working with children as well as with older adults so I don't know. I know in my heart that I really want to help others and that I want to share the love I have for God with as many people as I possibly can but I'm very confused as to where I will go after graduation. I am taking a year off to work before I pursue my Master's degree but I think it would be a little less stressful if I had a game plan for the Fall. If y'all can please pray for this, I would greatly appreciate it. Right now all I can do is pray and keep myself open to whatever God has in store for me.

Anyway, I just felt like sharing these random thoughts. I have noticed that my readership in both this blog and my tweets has gone down considerably (and I am not complaining at all!) so I feel less pressured to write something amazing. Back to the "writing how I feel... even if it's incredibly sappy and emotional" plan. ;)

I have the rest of the evening and tomorrow off (I am mentally drained after reading close to 400 pages for classes this week) so I am going to enjoy it with a little movie marathon.

I hope y'all had a great week and will have a great weekend.

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

Disneyland, Dominican Nuns, and Lessons Learned

Yes, I took this picture only two nights ago. :D

If you're following me on twitter, you know that I went back to Disneyland and California Adventure on Monday. (I got an annual pass for my birthday this year so I can go often. :D) It proved to be good timing as I had finished the Novena of the Seven Gifts (a.k.a. the Holy Spirit/Pentecost novena) and I wanted to put my new found outlook to use. There is seriously no better place to test your progress than Disneyland. You encounter occasional pushing/shoving, rude guests, long lines to get on the rides, screaming children, overpriced everything, etc. With my anxiety being a pain in my tush, it was also a good place to see how I would do. Happy to say that it went much better than I expected. :D

I actually left the house with both anxiety and a stomach bug (yes, I know... I'm constantly suffering from some stomach ailment as it's very sensitive). I knew I was going to be there for at least 14 hours so I did my best to just get through it. After the first ride I actually felt quite sick and, stranded at the theme parks until 10 p.m., I decided to pray the 9 Hour Novena to the Infant of Prague which I only use when I know it's absolutely necessary. I knew that it meant that I had to pray while I was waiting in line for rides, and that people would see me doing the sign of the cross, but it was good for me to do so. I have to get over my self-conscious feeling when I do the sign of the cross in a public place ('cause I usually get strange looks and I'm shy... do the math. lol.) I felt so horrible and I knew my ride wouldn't be by to pick us up until nighttime so I did it. I'm very glad I did because I got better as the day went on and it turned out to be one of the best times I've ever had at Disneyland.

I kept seeing what I thought were little signs that I was going to be fine. On the second ride, and first after I started the novena, I saw that the line was going to take 40 minutes but decided to go ahead and get in line. (For those interested: it was for the Pirates of the Caribbean ride.) My time to do the novena came a couple of minutes into our time in line. I turned on my iPod touch (where I'd typed out the novena) and prayed the novena. The line went by faster from that point on. I also saw a woman wearing a bracelet with saints on it (you know, those popular ones) and I felt a little better. On our next ride, the Small World ride, we were in line with Dominican nuns. I kid you not. There were three sweet Dominican nuns enjoying Disneyland, with big smiles on their faces. It made me so giddy, it was actually quite funny. It reminded me of the happiness I felt as a child when I saw nuns; of the time when I used to tell everyone I was going to grow up to be a Carmelite nun. :D I ended up seeing them a couple more times throughout the day which really made my day. (side note: the Dominican order was the one that inspired me, via Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati, to become a Catholic educator after college.)

My novena ended when I still have two and a half hours left of my time at California Adventure, the theme park next to Disneyland. As I finished and during my time praying it, I kept God on my mind. I remembered to be more charitable with people despite how they might act. I remembered every single one of the Holy Spirit gifts I had prayed about that previous week as well as the novena I had done that day. I was rewarded with my stomach bug and anxiety having calmed down after the first two hours of the novena as well as a better understanding of myself and what I still need to work on. I was always rewarded with my "baby magnet powers" being extra good. lol. A little girl I didn't even know even took my hand while walking down the Monorail stairs. :)

We stayed until the World of Colors show which was beautiful. I am woman enough to admit that I cried during the 30 minute presentation because it reminded me of my childhood. All the movies I loved growing up were featured and, standing next to my mom under the moon and stars, it really reminded me of what was important. I thought about always having that childlike love and trust in God that St. Therese of Lisieux talked about. After the show was done, and before we left, we turned back to Disneyland to watch the fireworks display. Watching them, and feeling utterly content about how the day had turned out, I inwardly thanked God for the lessons I had learned.

Now you see why I like going to Disneyland and why my mini vacation idea was a good one? I'm slowly coming back online but I have already made the decision not to be online as much as I have in the past. It's been good for me (though I miss y'all terribly) and I like this new relationship I have with God. :D

OH! And before I forget, I want to thank everyone who kept praying for my Cal Grant situation. I spoke to someone at the California Student Aid Commission yesterday and she confirmed that my appeal to receive my final Cal Grant for my senior year (though initially denied twice) was approved last week and that the official letter would be arriving next week. That means that the loans (if I have any) won't be as scary as I previously thought. Thank you, God, for the miracle as well as those who prayed on my behalf. :D

I should quit writing as I'm sure it's really long by now. :D I hope y'all are having a good week thus far! And to those who are thinking about the mini online vacation, I definitely cannot recommend it enough. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless! :D