My View, Vol. 2: Disneyland

Here's this week's entry for Julie's link-up.

This week I headed back to Disneyland for the first time in 11 months. An annual pass was gifted to me so I'm going to try to make the most of it. I've taken photos with my dinky little phone camera before but none came out as good as these (taken with the latest version of the iPod touch). Here are some of my favorite shots of the day. Oh, and please don't take without asking.

Inside the Beast's Library.

Close up of Sleeping Beauty's Castle.

 Sun setting in Cars Land.

Sun setting over Paradise Pier.

 One final shot of the beautiful colors of sunset.

Sadly, I didn't see any nuns at Disneyland this time around but here's hoping I'll see more on some next trip. ;)

What I Learned Wednesday #10

Say "hello" to my little ashes... and freckles. lol. Extreme close up done to hide the horrible hair day I had today. Also but I don't wear make-up so you see everything. Oh well, I have nothing to hide. ;)

This will be a short list (compared to the other posts) because I have a couple of things to do before I call it an early night.

The only thing I have to write about today is the shocker that Pope Benedict XVI has handed in his resignation. And cue another ugly crying face in 3... 2... 1... When I heard about it for the first time, I was en route to Disneyland. I checked into Twitter and saw that he was trending. Didn't know why so I asked. Needless to say, I was left speechless. And then I cried. A lot. Silently but ugly crying face was in full effect. In true Emmy fashion, I looked out the window while I cried. I don't like crying in public and there were three other people in the car with me. Thankfully I wasn't driving. As expected, I didn't enjoy my trip to Disneyland but that's okay. None of my mattered at that point. All I knew was that my Pope (I'll get to this in a second) was stepping down and I was upset.

When I say that Pope Benedict XVI is my Pope, I mean that I returned to the Faith a year after he became our Pope. I was "Catholic" (ignorant about my Faith and didn't even think about it) when Bl. Pope John Paul II died. I remember the exact moment in which I read an online "journal" entry by the brother of a young man I was close to, talking about how he was waiting to see the "white smoke" appear to indicate that we Catholics had a new Pope... and how (sparing y'all expletives) he didn't understand why he even cared about it because he wasn't even religious; he was an atheist (if I remember correctly). I remember feeling very offended by what he said, not even knowing that I would revert almost a year and a half later. I always liked Pope Benedict XVI... even when I was away from the Faith. To this day, he's held a special place in my heart and it pains me to see him go.

Despite my own feelings about it, I can understand why he's stepping away. I get it. I don't like it but I understand why he's doing it. I thank him for everything he's done for us in the past eight years. He will always be my Pope. I will always be a card carrying member of the Papa Bene fan club. Would I have Pope Benedict XVI dreams if I weren't? ;)

Anyway, I haven't read everything on what's going to happen, what Papa Bene said (crazy last couple of days), so I can't expand on it. Maybe for next What I Learned Wednesday. To tie this into what I learned about the Faith: I had no idea it had been hundreds of years since the last time a Pope resigned. No clue. To be honest, I didn't even think it was still an option. I just assumed that modern Popes continued until they passed. See? I did learn something new this week. lol.

I'll stop writing before I look even more pathetic than I do now. lol. I still have many years of Catholicism to catch up on so have patience with me. ;)

You know the drill: if you have any prayer requests, send them my way! ;)

I'll write about my Ash Wednesday experience hopefully tomorrow. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless.

Silver Lining in My Birthday Misadventure

I haven't blogged in a couple of days for three reasons: 1) I haven't had the time with errands, 2) I had a bad birthday misadventure that kept me out of the house longer than expected, and 3) I've had food poisoning symptoms for the past three days. I don't have to explain numbers one and three so I'll share with y'all how seemingly horrible my birthday was... and how one stranger reminded me that God was still there with me despite my situation.

Before I go on, yes, I took this picture with my camera phone early on Wednesday morning. :)

My twenty-something (yes, I'm finally old enough to say it's "not lady-like to reveal my age", lol) birthday on Wednesday was the worst birthday since I turned two and had a horrible fever according to my mother. If you've known me long enough, you know that I have the worst luck on my birthday. Except for my 18th and 20th birthdays (and, okay, two years ago wasn't so bad), something bad has always happened on the day of. Either I plan something out and only one person shows up (despite other people RSVP-ing) or it all goes horribly wrong. This year started with food poisoning in the morning... right as I got to Disneyland.

My mom took the day off from work so it would be just her and I (I'm not planning anything big until my 30th in a couple of years) and she decided to take me to Disneyland. I spent the first 2.5 hours of the trip feeling weak and faint (partly because of the food poisoning) and without anything to eat since all they had at the park were breakfast foods I couldn't have with my food allergies. It wasn't until they opened California Adventure that I was able to find a place to eat. (Side note: I seriously recommend eating in CA instead of Disneyland if you have food allergies; it's a bit pricey but they are meticulous about making sure you're both satisfied and full despite your allergies.) We were in both parks for a total of 4.5 hours before we made are way home for the second part of the birthday plans my mom had.

This is where it gets "fun." Our van (we were picked up by Access) broke down twice on the way home. The first time was at Santa Monica College (my alma mater). We had to drop someone off there before going home and the van's battery decided to die before we left the parking lot. We were in a good spot so it wasn't too bad. We did wait for two hours until the company sent someone to help. After that I thought, "Okay, only two less hours to celebrate. That's fine." Little did I know that that would not be the worst of it.

The second and last time the van broke down was on Sepulveda Blvd., just north of Sunset Blvd.... during rush hour traffic. If you live in L.A. you know how bad the 405 and Sepulveda get during rush hour traffic. We got stuck there around 4-5 p.m. when it's at its worst. It was a nightmare. The battery kicked the bucket and not even the car horn or the hazard flashers worked. I personally got out of the van - in the middle of rush hour traffic no less - and started waving at people to go into the left lane because we were blocking the right lane. This was a horrible experience for me because all eyes were on me as I did this... and I absolutely, positively hate that kind of attention. The next three hours showed me what I hate about L.A.

Forget the traffic... the people I saw were some of the rudest I've ever had the "pleasure" of seeing. I got everything from horns being honked to being flipped off. I would yell "jumper cables?" whenever I saw someone looking in my direction. Most everyone gave me a dirty look, some actions and words I don't feel comfortable repeating, or they looked away as if they couldn't see me. One young man asked if we were okay and I was going to tell him that we needed a jump but the cars behind him were honking angrily so he kept going. I did not see it, but my mom (who was in the van) said one woman crossed herself when she saw me outside, trying to get some help. I tried to flag down a AAA guy but he just shook his head and kept driving. A car full of guys were nice enough to try to catch up with the AAA guy, trying to flag him down for us, but they were unsuccessful and kept driving.

There was only one stranger who actually stopped and tried to help us but couldn't. He saw that I was near tears at that point and, despite not being able to help, actually said a prayer for us - asking God to keep us safe until we were able to get assistance - before he left. Up to that point I'm ashamed to say that I'd temporarily lost faith in humanity (at least those living in L.A.) but I am glad that he was the silver lining in the misadventure. He helped me remember that not all L.A. people are jerks and that God was there with me. I was weak, hungry, blood sugar was dropping, anxiety was making it hard for me to stay standing... but somehow I found the strength to stay out there until nearly 8 p.m. when Access (who, btw, showed what a crummy system they have -- seriously? waiting 4-5 total HOURS to send help?) sent someone to rescue us.

We got home late and I was weepy for the rest of the night because my birthday was kind of ruined (I didn't even get to go to Mass at 5 p.m. like I'd planned) but I was glad that we'd gotten home safe. There were a couple of close calls -- cars almost clipping the van -- but we were safe, which was all that mattered. I had moments when I started to think "I try to help people when they need it, so why won't anyone help us three women when we're in need?" but I stopped myself because I knew it wasn't fair to think it. All of this just really drove home the fact that we don't always help people when we can... and that we should really be more charitable towards others. And by we, I at least mean myself. If you do enough, then good on ya. But, let's face it... most of us don't help when help is needed.

In retrospect, typing this out, I really didn't have such a disastrous birthday. Sure, we were stranded in horrific L.A. rush hour traffic without help for 4-5 hours, I couldn't get a hold of any of my friends, my birthday didn't turn out the way I hoped, and the misadventure reminded me of why I've wanted to get out of this city for as long as I can remember... but it also strengthened a desire to help others and also reminded me that God is why me at all times so it wasn't entirely bad. I didn't get what I wanted -- which was a nice, stress free day -- but maybe I got what I needed, which was to be reminded of what is really important in my life.

So, there you go, that was my birthday misadventure. I'm slowly feeling (physically) better and I've been able to keep down food today (though I just ate for the first time today a couple of minutes ago) so I'm on the mend. :) I hope to keep blogging regularly again as soon as I don't have the urge to sleep all day. And, hey, even though my twenty-something year has started off poorly, it doesn't mean it'll continue to stick. I firmly believe that we go through horrible things because something wonderful will come soon. :D

Anyway, I'm going to rest and listen to some Ella Fitzgerald while I lay in bed. :)

I hope y'all had a better week than I did and that you have a great weekend. :D Oh, and let me know if I can offer up this food poisoning/fatigue thing for you. :)

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D

Disney, Belle, St. Therese, and Being Childlike.

Yes, I was in the Beast's library on Monday... and yes, I took this picture so if you take it, please give me credit.

I know, I know... I broke the chain. I didn't post yesterday because 1) I decided to clean the house and it took a good chunk of my day and 2) I had a combo anxiety/fatigue day that kept me from doing much. I spent most of the evening/night feeling like I couldn't breathe. THIS is why I like being busy; I am less likely to have anxiety when my mind is occupied with something. Anyway, that's in the past and I still want to write my Disney inspired post... ;)

For the record, no one guessed what the video had to do with today's post. I got responses on the Facebook page and as well as on twitter but no one was able to guess it. Some responses were good... and definitely made me think, but no cigar. Let's talk a little about Beauty and the Beast and one of my heavenly buddies, St. Therese of Lisieux.

Beauty and the Beast has been my favorite Disney animated film since I first watched it. In fact, I was such a fan when it first came out that I dressed up as Belle for Halloween that year. I have always been able to identify with Belle -- she's a bookworm, kind of feisty and independent, being a bit of a loner, wanting to get out of her hometown, willing to sacrifice for her family, etc. When I found out that there was an attraction in California Adventure, which was done to look like the Beast's massive library (my dream library), I knew I had to go in. Inside it looks like a miniature version of the library. You sit in front of one of the many books spread out inside the library and you take a quiz which tells you which Disney character you are most like. Without cheating, I took the quiz and got Belle. I was absolutely giddy... and then it hit me that this was one of the reasons why I like going to Disneyland and California Adventure.

If you've read enough of my blog posts you know that I didn't really have much of a childhood. I've always been an old soul trapped in a young body. Just look at the kind of music, films and clothing that I prefer (from the 1940s into the early 1950s) and that pretty much tells you. My mom likes to tell me stories of how I was as a little girl and I was very precocious. Having helped take care of my dad and having to act grown up from a very young age have made me not have a typical childhood... though I am totally not complaining. I loved the way I grew up, though it was occasionally a lonely one since I grew up with only my parents.

Because I grew up by myself, I had to entertain myself. I drew a lot. I got a library card as soon as I could pick out my own books (which I still have and use to this day). I wrote. A LOT. My best friend growing up, Rudy, gave me notebooks and pens for my birthday up until we was 18 years old and he moved away. He said he always saw me writing and knew how fast I went through notebook so it was the ideal birthday present. He's actually the person who knew I was meant to be a writer before I ever thought about it. My need of entertainment, as well as my constant literary companions, helped nourish my creativity. In this sense, I haven't grown up. When I get into my little literary world, I feel like Peter Pan... only a female version of Peter Pan. I can escape into the world I create and live vicariously through my characters. Of course, I know that it's not real and I don't bring it out into my personal life but I do enjoy feeling like a kid every time I write... and go to Disneyland.

St. Therese of Lisieux inspired me to be childlike (but not a childish) when I look at things, especially when it comes to my faith. (And a quick side note: St. Therese was French like Belle. See? I can connect these things. ;D) I briefly mentioned this in a blog post a few years ago but as I've gotten older, my views have changed. Of course, I still try to talk to God (my favorite place is in front of the Tabernacle when there isn't Adoration) and I am constantly in awe and wonder when I learn something new about my Faith. Whenever I go to new parishes or places that are connected to the Catholic Church (i.e. the California Missions), I feel like a kid in a candy store. That doesn't mean that I am going to pout, rant, and demand that all my prayers be answered like I did when I was younger. I know that we can ask God for something but if it's not His will, He will give me what I need. My earthly dad may no longer be with me but my Father still is and I have no problem going to Him whenever I need a dad in my life... and that is what I was thinking about while I was at Disneyland. I'm serious.

Anyway, I just wanted to share this with y'all. :D Again, sorry I didn't write it yesterday but I wasn't feeling well (I was so weak and fatigued that I thought I was going to collapse on the floor while I was cleaning the living room.) Since I broke the chain yesterday it looks like I'm starting the "every day for a week" posting until I actually go through with it. I hope y'all don't mind. ;)

I should try to finish cleaning my room before the evening Mass today; I slept in this morning because my anxiety kept me up late last night. Oh, and I'm feeling better today so please don't worry. :)

As always, thanks for reading and God bless!

Disneyland, Dominican Nuns, and Lessons Learned

Yes, I took this picture only two nights ago. :D

If you're following me on twitter, you know that I went back to Disneyland and California Adventure on Monday. (I got an annual pass for my birthday this year so I can go often. :D) It proved to be good timing as I had finished the Novena of the Seven Gifts (a.k.a. the Holy Spirit/Pentecost novena) and I wanted to put my new found outlook to use. There is seriously no better place to test your progress than Disneyland. You encounter occasional pushing/shoving, rude guests, long lines to get on the rides, screaming children, overpriced everything, etc. With my anxiety being a pain in my tush, it was also a good place to see how I would do. Happy to say that it went much better than I expected. :D

I actually left the house with both anxiety and a stomach bug (yes, I know... I'm constantly suffering from some stomach ailment as it's very sensitive). I knew I was going to be there for at least 14 hours so I did my best to just get through it. After the first ride I actually felt quite sick and, stranded at the theme parks until 10 p.m., I decided to pray the 9 Hour Novena to the Infant of Prague which I only use when I know it's absolutely necessary. I knew that it meant that I had to pray while I was waiting in line for rides, and that people would see me doing the sign of the cross, but it was good for me to do so. I have to get over my self-conscious feeling when I do the sign of the cross in a public place ('cause I usually get strange looks and I'm shy... do the math. lol.) I felt so horrible and I knew my ride wouldn't be by to pick us up until nighttime so I did it. I'm very glad I did because I got better as the day went on and it turned out to be one of the best times I've ever had at Disneyland.

I kept seeing what I thought were little signs that I was going to be fine. On the second ride, and first after I started the novena, I saw that the line was going to take 40 minutes but decided to go ahead and get in line. (For those interested: it was for the Pirates of the Caribbean ride.) My time to do the novena came a couple of minutes into our time in line. I turned on my iPod touch (where I'd typed out the novena) and prayed the novena. The line went by faster from that point on. I also saw a woman wearing a bracelet with saints on it (you know, those popular ones) and I felt a little better. On our next ride, the Small World ride, we were in line with Dominican nuns. I kid you not. There were three sweet Dominican nuns enjoying Disneyland, with big smiles on their faces. It made me so giddy, it was actually quite funny. It reminded me of the happiness I felt as a child when I saw nuns; of the time when I used to tell everyone I was going to grow up to be a Carmelite nun. :D I ended up seeing them a couple more times throughout the day which really made my day. (side note: the Dominican order was the one that inspired me, via Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati, to become a Catholic educator after college.)

My novena ended when I still have two and a half hours left of my time at California Adventure, the theme park next to Disneyland. As I finished and during my time praying it, I kept God on my mind. I remembered to be more charitable with people despite how they might act. I remembered every single one of the Holy Spirit gifts I had prayed about that previous week as well as the novena I had done that day. I was rewarded with my stomach bug and anxiety having calmed down after the first two hours of the novena as well as a better understanding of myself and what I still need to work on. I was always rewarded with my "baby magnet powers" being extra good. lol. A little girl I didn't even know even took my hand while walking down the Monorail stairs. :)

We stayed until the World of Colors show which was beautiful. I am woman enough to admit that I cried during the 30 minute presentation because it reminded me of my childhood. All the movies I loved growing up were featured and, standing next to my mom under the moon and stars, it really reminded me of what was important. I thought about always having that childlike love and trust in God that St. Therese of Lisieux talked about. After the show was done, and before we left, we turned back to Disneyland to watch the fireworks display. Watching them, and feeling utterly content about how the day had turned out, I inwardly thanked God for the lessons I had learned.

Now you see why I like going to Disneyland and why my mini vacation idea was a good one? I'm slowly coming back online but I have already made the decision not to be online as much as I have in the past. It's been good for me (though I miss y'all terribly) and I like this new relationship I have with God. :D

OH! And before I forget, I want to thank everyone who kept praying for my Cal Grant situation. I spoke to someone at the California Student Aid Commission yesterday and she confirmed that my appeal to receive my final Cal Grant for my senior year (though initially denied twice) was approved last week and that the official letter would be arriving next week. That means that the loans (if I have any) won't be as scary as I previously thought. Thank you, God, for the miracle as well as those who prayed on my behalf. :D

I should quit writing as I'm sure it's really long by now. :D I hope y'all are having a good week thus far! And to those who are thinking about the mini online vacation, I definitely cannot recommend it enough. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless! :D