"People Must Really Need the Prayers..."

This was the thought that popped up in my mind when my hematologist said he wasn't able to get the hip bone part of the bone marrow biopsy the first time. I knew that there would most likely be something that had to "go wrong" since I had so many people asking me to offer up my procedure and the pain up for their prayer intentions. I knew when the prayer requests reached the triple digits on Twitter that I would be in for it so I had mentally prepared myself for it. Still, I kept internally asking St. Giuseppe Moscati to guide the hematologist's hands so there wouldn't be a third try.

For those of you know who have gotten one of these biopsies done before, you know this part is the most painful. Ignorance is bliss (for me) when it comes to these procedures so I didn't even look into what would be involved but, oh, I knew that part of my hip bone was (basically) drilled out during this part. I felt the pain down into my leg. Thankfully, it wasn't excruciating.

I'll admit, I had cried prior to the procedure out of nerves but I was amazingly calm throughout it. I think it was because I knew I was covered in prayers due to the (mind-boggling!) 1k+ people who said they would be praying for me via social media. I woke up that morning and it literally felt as I was completely wrapped up in prayer. I don't know how else to describe it except that it felt like I had a heavy blanket of peace covering every inch of my body.

I tried praying the Rosary during the procedure but my mind went blank during the Second Glorious Mystery (I pray the traditional order and it's the Glorious Mysteries on Wednesdays). Instead, I ended up focusing on keeping my breathing even and offering up any pain and uncomfortable moments. Oh, and on keeping my body as relaxed as possible to make it easier for the hematologist to get what he needed. It wasn't easy because you want to tense up your muscles.

I drove myself home afterward... and it was not fun. They did the biopsy on my right side which, of course, means I had to use my right leg -- the leg used on the car pedals. The 4-5 mile drive included a lot of teary-eyed "ouch" moments. Walking up the stairs to my second-story apartment brought a couple more tense moments.

The rest of the day was spent trying to find ways of sitting, laying down, standing, and doing other things that wouldn't aggravate the pain. I was sure my mother was going to tie me down to a chair at one point because I kept getting up to do things I normally would. I'm quite active during the day (out of habit) so it was hard for me not to be a "wiggle worm." lol. It doesn't sound so bad but, oh man, there were a ton more tears before the day was over. I couldn't walk or even sit; I mostly had to lay on my left side but that quickly got old when my entire left side became painful and then numb from having all of my weight on it.

Trying to work was hard. I couldn't balance my laptop on my lap or place it in any position that didn't hurt me. I tried standing up to write it but I was too lightheaded and feeling drained to last longer than a minute. Finally, a bit after midnight last night, I gave up and had to send my editor a message telling him that I was sorry but that this week's assignment would be a day late. I couldn't transfer my work (which I ended up starting on my iPod touch as I lay in bed) from email to the website.

Sleeping was a new adventure. Despite having an adjustable bed, I couldn't find a position in which I was comfortable enough to sleep. An hour (and more exhaustion-induced tears) later -- 12 hours after the biopsy -- I was somehow able to flip myself onto my stomach and I passed out for about 11 hours. Yep, I was that tired.

Today has been a new adventurous day. The pain is worse, in a way. I can move a little easier but the tenderness makes the pain more acute. As I write this, I'm in a very uncomfortable position with my the head of my adjustable bed lifted up as much as possible. My back hurts and part of my left side is numb (again) from all the weight on it but I just thank God that I can move and stand more than yesterday.

I'm just going to keep looking at the crucifix in my room and try to unite my pain with His. Yesterday, the first time I was able to get in bed post-biopsy, I looked at it and I realized that I had never loved Him as much as I did at that moment. Though I can never compare my little pain to his immense pain, I can at least try to understand -- in my fragile human way -- what He endured for the sake of humanity.

So, that's what the journey of a bone marrow biopsy has been. I'm obviously still in recovery mode and will be for a couple more days. I will get my biopsy results on June 5th so please keep that in your prayers. I've resigned myself to getting whatever results may come from it; I just want them to figure out what's been making me sick for so long.

I will continue to pray for those who've asked for prayers. Thank you all so much for all your prayers, love, and support!

God bless you all!

... I Thought Lent Ended?

In the span of a week:

- I've been insulted off of social media. It happened shortly after my last blog post on social media. Great timing, really. lol. I took the weekend off and will resume to take the week off, baring prayer requests or something urgent. My stress levels online have been off the charts lately. Taking the weekend off was good for me but it wasn't enough. I need a slightly longer break from it.

- My car has had to go back to the mechanic's... twice. The radiator on my car popped while Mom and I were out. The car released a lot of smoke and we were scared for a while (until we knew what had happened). Thankfully, I have AAA and the tow to the mechanic's was covered. I've already spent almost all of our tax refund on car repairs and, if you know our economic situation, you know that more repairs will hurt us further.

I should get my car back tomorrow. I hope the damage isn't too bad and that we don't have to spend the rest of our refund on the repairs.

I need prayers. I don't know what's up with this prolonged Lent-type thing but I could use some prayers if you can spare some.

Can I offer some of this up for any of you? Please leave a comment here, send me a DM on Twitter (because I won't see @ tweets), or private message me through the blog's FB page since I will get the email and read them that way without having to log into the accounts.

I hope y'all are having a better time than I am. lol.

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :)

Oh! Hi, 1000th Blog Post!

Hello and welcome to my 1,000th blog post.

"Whaaaat?" That was my reaction when I posted the last blog post and saw that it was the last one in the triple digits. I can't believe I've written a thousand posts in the span of 9 years and (almost) 5 months. Crazy! Honestly, I can't believe I've kept this blog this long. I thought I would keep it for a couple of months or no more than maybe 2 years, tops but, here I am... still writing.

Those who've been reading this blog since the beginning (or, at least, within the first year of its inception), have gone through so much growth with me. When I started this blog, I was involved with someone whom I still in keep in touch with on occasion but is no longer one of the most important people in my life. I haven't really talked about my personal life since and have vowed not to until there's a wedding looming.

You've read about my struggles as an undergraduate, as a graduate student, and now in my academic limbo state. You've read about what I suffered when I was at the CINO college (now university) -- how much the professors made me cry for having an orthodox and "traditional" view of Catholicism. You've read my indecision about what to study; where to study.

You've been with me through my father's final cancer diagnosis... through the last months of his life... through his reversion to the faith (his 24th birthday present to me) two months before his death... through his death and burial... and through that first year in which I was emotionally numb...

You've been with me through illnesses and financial difficulties... through my lowest points... through my car accident... through my bouts of spiritual dryness (which I am currently undergoing again)... the craziness that was most of my 20s (I started this blog when I was 22!) into my early 30s (I turn 32 at the end of this month)...

You've also seen me at my best. You've read the joy it was to graduate from college after years of putting it off to help take care of my father (or myself)... the first time I was published in a Catholic publication... when I started my freelance writing career... when my first (and second) novel was published... when I was accepted to all three of my top graduate program choices...

We're going on 9 and a half years of this adventure together. Some of you have been reading since the beginning. Some of you have joined later on. Some of you are still new to this blog. It doesn't matter when you started following, you're still a part of this journey with me.

I still don't understand why anyone would want to read what I have to write. I'm no one extraordinary. I'm actually quite boring. I'm just your average gal who decided, on Christmas Day 2007, to write about her life and her journey through learning about Catholicism. I'm still learning. I'm actually going through sort of re-reversion period right now. I promise to explain this, and thoroughly, at some point in the future because it's a long story.

I want to thank you all, from the bottom of my heart, for your prayers and support throughout the years/months/weeks/days. I've come to close to shutting down this blog but, somehow, someone always seems to message me and encourage me to keep going so I do.

I have a lot of really, really, really exciting things coming up in my life in the near future. I will give y'all clues: London. Writing. Career. Discernment. Vocation/Relationship. Reversion. Travel. Possibly another degree. Rediscovery. Faith. I will write about these things at some point; most likely as I'm about to embark on them or when I'm deep enough into it that I can talk about it.

Stick around because I'm apparently not done writing yet. I'm sorry. lol. Oh, the writer in me. ;)

That's it for now. I have a lot of things to do today but I wanted to take a little break to write this post.  My 1,000th post. Nope, it hasn't sunk in yet. lol.

Oh! Before I go, I was wondering if I could bother y'all for some prayers. As I've shared before, I've had pancytopenia (low red and white blood cells as well as low platelets) on-and-off for years and tomorrow I'll have 18 (!) vials of blood drawn for the most thorough blood work they've ever done on me. They're testing everything -- vitamins, minerals, complete CBC, bone marrow, clotting, lupus, and seemingly any and all tests to rule things out a blood disorder or the presence of antibodies in my system. Thankfully, I won't have to fast but it's still a lot of blood. I've been feeling a little more weak/fatigued than usual lately so I'm a little worried about all the vials that will be taken. I would greatly appreciate any prayers you can spare. I just don't pass out or have any complications from the blood draw. I also hope for good news with the results because I'm tired of always feeling tired because of the anemia. Thank you in advance!

Alright, I gotta go do errands and try to find some good carne asada because I need to really prepare for tomorrow. All the iron-rich foods! lol. ;)

I hope y'all are having a lovely week thus far!

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

7 Quick Takes Vol. 23: Misc. Edition

I

At my last doctor's appointment (on the 26th), I was told not to exercise because I was underweight. My metabolism is apparently really fast so I burn calories easier than I can put them on. No, don't wish you had the same problem; it's a pain because being underweight comes with its own set of health issues. Anyway, I've been sedentary... and it stinks. I like being active. I love dancing. I sincerely enjoy hiking and taking long walks in scenic places. I'm already dreaming of all the hikes I will attempt (if I can find someone to be my hiking buddy) as soon as I get the okay from the doctor. I'm going to start the #FreeEmmy hashtag every time I start feeling a bit of cabin fever.

II

I've decided to do something novel(s) related for Valentine's Day. No, that is not a real spoiler; I just chose Valentine's Day because I wanted to do something fun for the day. I'll post the details later on. I'll just say: if you've ever wondered if anyone or anything in either of the novels is based on a real life person or event, you can ask and I will give you the honest answer without pleading the fifth. If you have yet to read either, you should get either a physical of copy or Kindle version of When Two Worlds Collide and/or London Calling before the beginning of February. Again, details will come soon. ;)

III

I've been participating in Blessed is She's #projectblessed Instagram challenge/project since the first of January and I've been loving it. I'm a little late on the Blessed is She wagon but I love receiving the daily devotions emails from them... and I'm loving the tight-group feeling. I was one of the first #Cathosorority gals but I left quite some time ago because I honestly felt like I no longer fit in. I know it's still going strong and it's a great place for some Catholic gals but as a single young woman, I no longer felt a part of it. I don't feel that way with the gals from Blessed is She. Yes, I think most are mamas or at least married but I don't feel excluded for not being a mama or not being married. God bless whoever thought of this website. Thank you!

IV

After doing some financial rearranging, we can afford cable again... at least for now. It's so nice to have the Hallmark Channel and TCM again because those are the two that I missed the most. I missed the "chick flicks" from Hallmark as well as the classics on TCM. We actually got a really great (read: cheap) deal so it'll actually be cheaper than if we had just stayed with internet and the local channels. The deal is only for a year but, if in a year we see that we can't continue, we'll be cutting it off again. I'll enjoy it while I can. ;) This doesn't mean that I'll be stuck in my room, watching TV all day (I'm still planning on reading a lot before grad school begins) but at least now I'll have more options than I did on Amazon Prime which is the only paid service we have.

V

I asked a good friend to be my Rosary accountability partner because I needed one. I really want to get back into the habit of praying the Rosary daily and I know it'll be easier if I have someone checking up on me. We talk almost daily so I'll be able to let them know if I mess up. So far I've dropped the ball like 2-3 times but I'm getting there. Does anyone else use an accountability partner for their prayer life? If so, have you noticed a positive change?

VI

My big brother called me earlier this week with big news that would be life changing for mom and I. I have to be vague for now but if you guys can please say a prayer that the deal goes through, I'd greatly appreciate it. This is something that mom and I have been praying about for years (I think almost since my dad passed away almost 6 years ago) and if it all goes according to plan, it'll be one of the biggest weights off of shoulders. Thank you in advance.

VII

This past week I've been obsessed with Emilie Mover's albums. Yes, she's a "children's musician" but she did an amazing job on an album of Peggy Lee covers. The album is called Sings Peggy Lee and I highly recommend it to anyone who love jazz vocals. Her voice reminds me somewhat Billie Holiday's so I'm loving it.

For more Quick Takes visit This Ain't the Lyceum.

That's it for now. I have a ton of errands to run in less than an hour. Yikes! ;)

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

Prayer Request For Friend

Just a quick prayer request for my childhood friend (and neighbor), Michelle. Early yesterday she found out she was pregnant and last night she unfortunately miscarried. She and her husband are devastated. Her husband was especially excited as he wanted a little girl. If y'all can take a couple of seconds out of your day to pray for them and the family, I'd greatly appreciate it. Thanks in advance!

Quick Prayer Request

This picture is accurate.

Just a couple of quick prayer requests because I have almost 100 pages to read by tomorrow morning and, though I am a speedy reader, I will more than likely be distracted throughout the night.

1) A day late but: On the horrible anniversary of Roe vs Wade, I'd like to ask you all to take a minute and prayer for all the lives lost and all of lives in danger. A life is a life and none of us should have a say in whether that life should be taken, especially so cruelly. Even when I was away from the Church in my teen years, I did not support abortion because I knew that was a baby that was being killed. Big kudos to those who were lucky enough to make it up to DC and to San Fran for the March and Walk for Life. Proud of all of you for making the voices of those countless babies heard.

2) If you're following me on twitter you might've heard about this: can y'all say a little prayer for my music professor? She's not being totally cool with us students and she actually made me cry in class last Tuesday when I was having a bit of anxiety. First she told me to not participate in class (by the way, the class is down to 4 people now) and then she tried to force me to participate before rudely telling me that I needed to stop my relaxation technique and to pay attention in class because I was being rude. Apparently trying to control my breathing (quietly and discreetly) in class while in the middle of a panic attack is rude and I shouldn't do it. Yeah. We're not happy in the class but we're stuck since we can't sign up for another class so can y'all please pray that she cools down and that the semester goes smoother for us (not just me; all 4 of us gals)? She's kind of ruining the experience of having nuns as professors for me. Thanks in advance.

That's all for now. I will hopefully have a proper post tomorrow when the stress levels hopefully go down to normal again. If you have prayer requests yourselves, let me know. I may be able to offer them up if music prof decided to humiliate me in class once again.

I hope y'all had a lovely weekend.

As always, thanks for reading and God bless. :D

Urgent Prayer Request for Two Young Mothers

Many of you know about Angela Faddis' cancer fight and the efforts to raise the funds for alternative cancer treatments that could save her life. Her story is heartbreaking, a mother of two young children in a struggle with advanced cancer. The efforts on behalf of her husband and friends hits close to home as we've personally gone through this. If y'all can donate please do and if you can't because you're struggling to make ends meet and can barely afford your own expenses or for whatever other reason, please get the word out. Say a prayer for the Faddis family. Spiritual bouquets are wonderful and miracles can come from them.

Sadly, I also have someone else to the list of prayer requests and it's closer to home. One of my best friends, Eileen, who has been through thick and thin with me for years (she even drove an hour and a half with her family to attend my father's funeral two years ago) has been told they've found abnormal cells that she will need to go get a biopsy to see if she has cancer or not. This won't be her first battle with cancer. She had ovarian cancer a couple of years ago and has been in remission for a while now. It's scary to think she could potentially go into a second battle with cancer. She has four children (one with autism). She's a fighter but it's still scary. So if you could please pray for her, I'd be incredibly grateful.

Anything y'all can do, even a Hail Mary for Angela and Eileen, are greatly appreciated. :)

Vocation Discernment, Part Two?

Isn't this a great picture from LOLSaints?

Is there something in the air that is making some of my best friends rethinking their vocations? It seems that many of us (yes, I am included in that) are going to start discerning their vocations once more. The majority are thinking about the priesthood and the religious life but there are some of us re-thinking our careers. I still believe that my vocation is that of wife and mother (though I occasionally get impatient and wonder when that special guy will come into my life), especially these last couple of days, but I don't know if I still have what it takes to be a teacher. I still want to work in something that involves the Faith but I am unsure if it's teaching. I still want to write for a living but we all know how hard that is. I simply don't know. In an uncharacteristically short blog post (yeah, I know), I'm asking y'all to please say a prayer for everyone (not just my friends or me) who are currently discerning (or re-discerning) their vocations. I am still on the search for a spiritual director *sigh* but in the meantime, I will continue re-educating myself during the summer; until God shows me what my next step is. :) Anyone else in the same boat? I'm seriously considering starting a support prayer group if anyone wants in. :)

Anyway, sorry this is short but I've been a little busier than usual and have a couple of times to get done before the day ends.

Hope your weekend is going well thus far and THANK YOU in advance for the prayers!

As always, thanks for reading and God bless.

Just a Simple Request

I took this picture from my school. Isn't it pretty? Too bad the same can't be said for what goes on inside...

Posting will hopefully resume tomorrow (Friday) but can y'all do me a little favor and just pray for me? I'm in the first week back to classes at the CINO college and, well, let's say that they've managed to outdo themselves (in terms of what is being taught) in just four day (thus far). I will explain all but if y'all can pray for my sanity as well as being prepared to defend the Faith whenever it is attacked, I'd greatly appreciate it. Details will come soon... trust me. lol.

Thanks in advance!

Prayer Request

Hey guys. Just wanted to make a quick prayer request. Yesterday we found out that the grandson of a cousin of mine, who's only 6 years old, is in really bad shape in the hospital. We didn't know this sooner because (I guess) they were trying to not worry anyone. He was born blind, mute, with missing ribs, etc... but he still has understanding. He needs to have an oxygen mask to be able to breathe and the (presumable) pneumonia, which he keeps fighting, is complicating things. Unfortunately, doctors are giving them a very grim prognosis with no foreseeable chance of it getting better. They already have everything ready in case the worst happens, but we're hoping and praying it doesn't come to that because it would be such a huge blow for us, as we all love him very much -- especially this close to having lost my dad and him being like a second father to my cousin. So if you can please keep little Juan in your prayers, we'd greatly appreciate it.

I'll resume posting on a regular basis this weekend, publishing all the past entries I still haven't posted.

As always, thanks for reading and God bless.

Prayers for Poland; Personal Update

Before I post any sort of update, I just want to ask everyone to please pray for those lives lost in the tragic plane crash that killed the Polish president, his family, and many government officials. A good friend of mine, Maria, is currently studying/working/living in Poland and I know that this news has hit her, as well as others in the country, very hard. I got the news just as it was breaking early this morning (since I stayed up late watching a movie) and the first prayer for the day went to the souls of the deceased. I will dedicate two decades of today's Rosary to them as well. May Our Lady of Częstochowa look after Poland and her citizens in this time of need.

I apologize for not posting anything in over a week. I will publish back posts soon -- as soon as I turn in my Oedipus Rex paper for Humanities class, my POV assignment for Creative Writing, and do my quiz and assignments for World History. Did I mention that I have to turn in a majority of that tonight by 11:30 p.m. Oh yeah. Since a few professors decided to bombard us with assignments for Spring Break, I've been focusing on the work for the past week and a half. Also, what little time I have has been dedicate to novel writing (or, I should say, finishing) since I've been in a creative kick lately. I do have posts to publish, but y'all know that this semester has been crazy and that I sometimes do take a few days to publish all the back posts... but they are published eventually.

Alright, that's enough for now. I have to work hard on my assignments (though I am very happy my Art Appreciation course ended yesterday!). I am also going to confessions later on (I try to go every two weeks, even if I just have one small venial sin on my conscience), which means I have an hour or so that I won't have to study/write.

I hope everyone is having/has a great weekend!

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :)

Prayer Request

Hey everyone. Sorry no entry tonight. I just wanted to post a quick prayer request. With my parents wedding anniversary coming up (it would've been their 27th wedding anniversary), as well as my father's would be 67th birthday, my mom's becoming more depressed and withdrawn from everything and everyone. She didn't even go to work today because of her depression, and that itself is a bad sign because she very rarely misses (even when she's sick). If y'all can please pray for her, I would greatly appreciate it. I feel helpless watching her go through this and I know it's only going to get worse.

Anyway, that's it for today. I'm drained - physically and emotionally - and sleep is looking really good right now. I will try to post something more substantial tomorrow.

Thanks in advance for your prayers!

God bless!
- Emmy

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