The Video Says It All

This video explains it all:



Lyrics:

Here I go ‘round and ‘round again
Venti Chai, you’re my closest friend
Lack of sleep is what I do
Starbucks will rescue me again

Work, more work, and somewhere to be
Skip the talk, can’t you just text me
I’m goin’, slow down, I’m on it
I’m going crazy

‘Cause when it’s work all day
I cannot escape
I just stop to think, and I’m going crazy
Take a break, hey
Sometimes you got to
Be still and breathe, baby
Here we go, better believe we can up and leave

Take some time and kickback
I’m on chill and relax
Work can wait, yeah, time to play, yeah
I’m away on holiday
Take my time and kickback
I’m on chill and relax
Rock the beat, yeah, time to play, yeah
I’m away on holiday

Is this boy the one?
Are we meant to be?
What to wear?
Got to look pretty
Maybe I should go solo
Forget it, I’m ready to go where there’s no
No more drama to mess up my flow
No more questions to answer, no
Pack my bags ya’ll, I’m outtie
Flight leaves gate 17

Rock, rock the beat, rock, rock the beat
Rock, rock the beat, rock, rock the beat

No lap top bringing
Or cell phone ringing
You know the feeling
When hits you are singing
I’ll kick back and enjoy the sun on my face
The time of my life baby, it’s time to play
If you’re ready for a holiday, holiday
Rock the beat, hands in the air
If you’re ready for a holiday, holiday
Rock the beat, rock the beat, yeah

------

That's right. I'm taking mini-vacation this weekend. Hopefully I will have entries to write about when I'm back. In the meantime, hope everyone has a great weekend. God Bless. :D
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Anorther quick update.

Sorry the gaps have started again. I've been busy packing, unpacking, catching up with old friends, traveling (including a mini roadtrip I took today with one of my favorite men -- and it made me appreciate him SO MUCH more because of everything he did for me today) and working on my novel. In other words: I wish there were more hours in the day.

The good news is that I have been feeling slightly better and I hope it continues. I've been able to keep the dreaded Writer's Block at bay (whoo!). Britt Nicole's album has become the soundtrack to my novel... unexpectedly. I'm also on a Jane Austen kick to re-awaken my inner Janeite and it's been helping me with my novel. (Side note: I usually like Austen inspired films but wasn't too happy with the 1999 version of Manfield Park. *shrugs*)

I've found myself saying the Rosary in public more and more often, mainly because it relaxes me and I've been in pretty stressful situations so that's why I've been doing it. Hopefully other fellow Catholics will say the Rosary more often, which is why I don't mind when people stare at me when I'm praying.

Oh, and hey, Liverpool FC beat Arsenal and are onto the semi-finals of the Champions League... just like last year (only they beat Barcelona last year)! I actually missed the game because I wasn't home during it, and actually got home pretty late so I didn't get a chance to even watch a re-run. Oh well, I am proud of my Red men for achieving yet another semi in the CL. The games against Chelsea will be good, and I will be praying that we go all the way to the finals. :D

And that is all for now. I've been up since earlier than I've gotten in a while and all that sitting in the car for hours has worn me out. I won't even mention the traffic. lol.

Hopefully I'll have a good, long post soon... if things slow down long enough for me to be able to, that is.

Alright, well... as always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D

Fumigation (Quick Update)

This whole fumigation thing came at a really bad time. I had absolutely no control on when I would sick and hey, it picked today... the day when we have to be out of our houses until 5 p.m. because they're doing this thing. Bah! Today of all days... the day I needed to in bed because I need it. Life's funny that way, eh?

Well, this blog is really a quick reminder (to myself) to write about the Pope JPII dream I had this morning (before I was rudely interrupted, lol). It was awesome and it makes me wonder whether the dream will have any major significance to my health/healing process or if it's just merely wishful thinking on my part. I shall explore this better once I can get back home. :D

Thanks for reading and God Bless.

Excitement!, Christian Music, Rock the Cradle, and Football (Soccer) Season.

I received very exciting news today... I got re-accepted to the only college I applied to for transfer. I originally got accepted last Fall to enter this past January but illness kept me out so I had to re-apply to get re-accepted. I had a bunch of problems this time around -- most likely because there are so many applicants to enter in the Fall. I submitted all my transcripts and other things almost 2 months ago (would've been 2 months in 2 days) but they had problems getting it into the system and didn't get a decision up until early today (it's still Thursday here). I actually got a call from my new counselor to tell me the news because I'd been bugging me about my admission status for a while now. Haha. Well, I am relieved that I will have a place to continue my Religious Studies education. I'm so happy that I'll be able to focus on Catholicism and take courses such as "Spiritual Journey of Women." It just feels like I'm going in the right direction and I am sure it'll help me further along with my writing. And, speaking of writing, I'll also be studying Creative Writing (which is my minor) so I'm lucky that I can study what I truly love. :D I am already thinking about my senior thesis, although it's 2 years until I get there but I have an idea of what I want my thesis to be about. Hint, it involves St. Teresa of Avila, St. John of the Cross and St. Augustine amongst other saints.

I will also be able to take music courses if I like. I love music. Plain as that. I've loved music since I was a baby. In fact, I carried around a toy guitar because I wanted a real one but was too little for it. I've explored almost every genre known to man but I've felt more connected to classical and jazz. I came into those on my own, without anyone introducing me to those genres. Lately I've been exploring a bit of Christian music, which I've felt a bit uncomfortable with before. I don't know why I just couldn't really get into it before. Then came along Mute Math and Britt Nicole and I've been slowly exploring other artists. I don't know why I was hesitant to give it a try before. I still don't like all the artists I come across but that's natural in every genre. I don't love all jazz artists though I do a majority of it. I can't sit through some classical songs. I've re-discovered some artists which I didn't know where Christian in the first place and I am digging it. lol. If anyone has other artist they'd like to recommend, please leave me a comment with the names.

And, speaking a bit more about music... I just watched the first episode of MTV's "Rock the Cradle." Now, I don't like MTV because we all know what kinds of shows are on there and how some of them are just... *shudders*. I tuned it mainly because I was curious to see the offspring of different artists perform. I was impressed with some... not so much with others. I LOVED Lucy Walsh and Crosby Loggins. Lucy deserved her score but I felt Crosby should've taken the top spot. I loved his voice and thought the Elvis Costello song was a great choice for him. If either don't win this thing, I won't be a happy camper. If I tune to that *shudders* channel again, it'll only be to watch an episode of this show and once it's over, good luck trying to get me to watch it again.

One more thing for I end this entry (it's past midnight and I still have a few things to do before I fall asleep)... I am SO happy that the MLS Season has finally started. Last week was the first week of this season and poor L.A. Galaxy crashed and burned. To be fair, Landon Donovan and Becks hadn't had much time to rest from international duty so it was understandable why they didn't do too well. The rest of the team... they lacked hustel. Carlos Ruiz did well but ended up getting injured when that idiot took him down (he's now out for 4-6 weeks). Last night's game... SO MUCH better. It was the Galaxy that I missed seeing. We totally deserved to win this game and am happy Becks and Landon got their goals. In this house, there's only 2 Galaxy players we honestly root for -- Becks and Landon. I also like Gordon and Klein but Becks and Landon are the only ones dad and I agree on.

It's the same with Liverpool -- we can only agree on two players: Gerrard and Torres. Dad's a Crouch fan, I'm a massive Agger fan. We both think Babel's good but sometimes we aren't too sure about him. Give us the rest of this season to make our decision. And, speaking of my Red men... I am so glad they got that away goal at Arsenal during the first leg of the Champions League quarterfinals. I am hoping and will definitely pray that they advance to the semi's and final. If there's one competition I look forward to the most at the beginning of this season, it's the Champions League. The Premier League's great too but the CL is my favorite because you get the top teams of other European leagues as well. Does anyone know the patron saint of sports or athletes? I've always wanted to know but haven't quite figured out.

Alright, well, it's nearly half past midnight and need to read a couple of pages in St. Teresa's autobiography among other things. I have a pretty early day today so, I need to get to bed as soon as I possibly can.

Thanks for reading and God Bless!

Rosary in the E.R., Panic in Mass, Novel, and The Miracle of Our Lady of Fatima.

Where to begin? So much has gone on since the last blog (hence the long gap between blogs) that I don't even know where to begin. I guess I should start with more recent things and work my way back a bit.

Yesterday, on one of my favorite unofficial holidays (April Fool's), I was taken to the E.R. because they wouldn't see me at my regular doctor's. It was so dumb! They said I had to go to the emergency room because I couldn't breathe and haven't been able to for about a week. I have a feeling it's allergies but they didn't want to take a chance. So I was there for 13 hours (from 3 p.m. until 4:15 a.m. the next day) for them to tell me it is anxiety attack. Okay, so... if it's an anxiety attack, why do I have it 24/7 (yes, all day, all the time)? Why is my nose a bit stuffy? Why am I a bit fatigued? Why do I feel like I'm going to cough? Obviously, the allergy symptoms must mean I have been having a week long anxiety attack. (And, I must apologize for that bit of sarcasm). I'm just really upset that they made me wait for that long, and they didn't even check me properly. They did two EKGs and chest x-rays to make sure it wasn't a heart attack. I mentioned to the doctor that I thought it was allergies and wanted a test and he basically ignored me and said it was all anxiety. Ugh. That is one thing I will always worry about -- doctors using my anxiety as a cop-out to not properly check me. That's what they have been doing lately, too. That's why my therapist is going to talk to my doctor, to get me tested for different things including allergies, so they can honestly rule those things out and say that it is anxiety. It's totally horrible to feel like everyone thinks you're making things up in your mind once they find out you have anxiety. It's absolutely frustrating. I cursed a bit while in the E.R. (words that have been foreign from my vocabulary somehow found their way out of my mouth), I unintentionally said God's name in vain and I just felt horrible that those things had come out of my mouth. Ugh. I pray to God that if I ever have to go back to that hospital, that I am seen by someone else and get through quicker because the entire experience sucked.

Another thing that upset me -- they gave me a pregnancy test (without me knowing it) even after I'd repeatedly said that there was absolutely no way I could be pregnant. Did they think I was just saying that to be funny? I thought they'd given me the test to see if everything was alright elsewhere and when the doctor said "Well, your pregnancy test came back negative" I was just really ticked off. I even said (pretty bluntly) that there was no way someone who is waiting until marriage (and isn't married) to be pregnant. I was absolutely not happy with how I was treated. This is something I will be talking about in therapy because I still have some issues with everything.

One thing I managed to do, though not too well, was pray and say the rosary in the E.R. waiting room. I was interrupted a couple of times but I tried super hard to concentrate on the Glorious Mysteries and I think I did fairly well considering where I was and what was going on around me. I also owe a big part of keeping somewhat sane in those wee hours of the day to Our Lady of Guadalupe who I prayed to for help because I had started to feel shaky and just horrible. Lack of sleep and lack of food is a dangerous combination for me... especially the lack of food part because I need to eat every couple of hours. I totally thought of St. Jude, St. Dymphna and St. Teresa of Avila while I was there. It really helped me not focus on the really bad things that were happening around me.

Oh man... I just got a pain in my lower right side of my stomach. I actually started getting these stabbing pains in this particular spot yesterday at the E.R. and they come and go at the most random times... like now. It feels like a small knife, or something sharp, is poking you every couple of seconds... it's so horrible. Okay, well... sorry for that little interlude, sometimes I just write as I think.

So, before all of that E.R. madness (the day before, actually) I had some issues with going to Mass. See, every weekend is completely weird because I never know how I will be in terms of anxiety. Easter weekend was amazing because not only was I able to make it through the entire mass, but Fr. Leo congratulated me for making it through the Mass. It was a real feat for me to do it. Last weekend, we had to look for another parish because my parents wanted to go shopping (that is something I will write about in an upcoming blog) and apparently my English Mass was getting in the way of it. So I said, fine, I'd find a parish that offered English Mass closer to where they wanted to go shopping (after me getting really upset about that whole deal). On our way to the parish, I got a massive panic attack. I couldn't breathe because I was stuffed up and then I just felt like I was going to completely stop breathing. (Side note: I've gone through enough panic attacks to distinguish them from other things... which is why I am set that I currently have allergies.) So that prevented me from attending Mass and I was just completely bummed out for the rest of the day. I hate missing Mass because a) it's a mortal sin -- and I know I'm excused because I'm sick but still and b) because I feel like I'm being extremely disrespectful towards God, Jesus, Our Mother (Mary), and everyone else. I am hoping that I will be able to make it through Mass this Sunday... and I can't wait for confessions on Saturday because I feel absolutely horrible having sins hanging over me. I'd been very good about not committing any and then all this crummy stuff happened and there goes my hard work. :(

Okay, no longer dwelling on the bad...

My novel is going a lot better than I expected. It's taken a different (better!) direction and I'm so excited. Hopefully I'll be able to keep the creativity flowing while I can because you never know when the dreaded writer's block will hit. I will say that writing about a member of the opposite sex is quite hard. Though I have 4 older brothers, I didn't grow up with them so I have no idea what it is to live with a young man. I hang out with my guy friends more than I do with my girl friends but each guy is different and I still don't get half of the things they do or what makes them say certain things. I am basing the male lead in the novel on a real life person but I'm making the character quite a bit different than the real life person. The dialog will probably be the hardest thing because I don't want to make him sound too robotic or too "girly" (as a guy friend once called a character I'd written when I was in my teens). The fun challenges of writing a book. :D

Another fun thing... watching The Miracle of Our Lady of Fatima on DVD. I'd had it for a bit at home and I finally watched it a few nights ago. I actually liked it, as did my mom. I read that Sr. Lucia (who saw the apparitions of Our Lady with her cousins) didn't like the film but that's understandable. A fictional character (Hugo) was added. The time line didn't follow the real life one (I believe Sr. Lucia had done her first communion years before the apparitions started and in the film, it happened after the first apparition). Lucia's mother in the DVD was reportedly much nicer than the real life mother, and she didn't believe in the apparitions while the movie one did at the end. It was little things like that that didn't make the film a 100% accurate account but I can't help but still like the film. I thought the actors did a great job. If you're not the kind of person to be bothered with differences, I'd recommend you watch it.

Alright, well it's almost half past midnight and I have an early day later so I should end the blog for now. Hopefully I can write more often this month. :D As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D