I just noticed yesterday that my pants are no longer fitting me. In fact, I have to keep pulling them up because they're starting to get baggy. Grr! I am definitely not the type of person who wants to diet. In fact, I HATE diets and think they are pointless unless you have to lose weight because of health issues. I wonder what's going on with me. I bet it's because of the stress/anxiety. Grrr. I have a follow-up appointment at the doctor's this Friday (I had to go last Friday to get blood drawn) so maybe she can help me figure out what's up with my weight loss. I actually like the weight I am (or was before I started shrinking). I am going to guess I'm about a size 3-4 right now (this is U.S. Women's Sizes). I'm normally a 5-6 (7 with some jeans). Last time I lost so much weight was when I was 18 but I knew the cause for that, and, ironically it was around the time my dad was getting done with his chemo that time around. Hmm... grr. I am not a happy camper. I have a promise to myself not to drop below 120 pounds because, for my height, once I reach 118 I am considered underweight and I don't want that! Been there, hated it! I think I am going to grocery shopping in between all the errands I have in a couple of hours (it's, again, nearly midnight) and really stock up on food. Mmm... food. Which reminds me, I'm hungry. lol.
I actually took a break from writing my blog and went to make myself some instant oatmeal. It will be enough until I wake up in a few hours (early mass in the morning). It's not too heavy but have you ever tried going to sleep after eating a heavy meal? Not the best thing for your stomach. Okay, moving on from food (I have a feeling I will have a Jamie Oliver dream because of what I just wrote, haha)...
I saw something on Catholic Online that made me very happy. I read an article about how Nicola Legrottaglie, a defender on the Italian football (soccer) team Juventus, has shared how he will abstain from pre-marital sex. He said, and I am quoting the article, he is doing this... "not because I do not like women, but because I am waiting for the right woman with whom to have a family, a woman who shares the same values." All I have to say to that is ROCK ON! It takes a real man to speak up with and stand by what he believes. Though he didn't always do so, he's determine to not have sex until he gets married. I think it's awesome, and encouraging, to see someone who has strayed taking responsibility for what they've done and also show that they can get back on the right path.
Another very famous footballer (sorry to my fellow Americans but I can't bring myself to call footballers 'soccer stars') who has spoken out about how great it is to stay chaste is Brazil and AC Milan's Kaka. I have so much respect for him. He's probably the footballer I have the most respect for... and, as a Liverpool FC fan, that is saying something. lol. Although he is not Catholic, he is a very religious Christian who actually stayed a virgin until he married his wife. It would've been very easy for him to stray -- he's incredibly talented, very well known, he's very easy on the eyes (women everywhere are gaga over him) and he seems like the sweetest guy -- but he didn't cheat or do anything because of his faith. That is such a rare quality in, not only a footballer, but in a guy in today's society.
Sex is such a big deal today. Practically everyone talks about it, or thinks about it. Teens are losing their virginity younger and younger these days. It's becoming more rare and difficult to find people who are staying true to their faiths and staying pure until marriage. We don't hear many celebrities speaking out and sharing their abstinence. It's wonderful that people like Nicola and Kaka, who are part of the most famous sport in the world -- and are well known themselves, are sharing that part of their lives and showing people that, hey, it IS possible to stay a virgin until marriage. I also think it's inspiring to all their younger fans and hopefully, because of their statements, more and more people will follow in their footsteps. If you want to read the article I am talking about, click here. I think it's really worth it.
Alright, so, it's 3 minutes before midnight and I have to get up in 8 hours so I should end my blog here. As always, thanks for reading and God Bless.
Sunday, February 3, 2008
The Virgin Mary; Getting Ready for Lent.
On the previous post I wrote about how I'd had a dream where my father had told me to pray to the Virgin Mary. That dream really stuck with me (not the first time I have dream about her, either). Well, today, after I went to confessions I stopped by the table where they have the bulletins and other things. I normally wouldn't do this because the church I went to confessions isn't the one I normally attend mass (I attend mass at a parish a few minutes from my home). For some reason, though, I just gravitated towards the table. Seriously, I don't even remember thinking I wanted to see the bulletins; I just walked over. When I got there, I notice this thing that looked like a booklet with the Virgin Mary's image on it. I thought it was a prayer book (I've seen everything from booklets to prayer cards out for people to take for free) and I was like "Ooh, prayer book. This would be great to take home and read." When I went to open it, I saw that it wasn't a prayer book but the story of St. Catherine Labouré and the Miraculous Medal. Not only that, there was this necklace with a medal inside of it. I looked around at looked at the people, because I thought someone must have left it accidentally, but no one said or did anything. I asked my dad if he thought it was one of the free things the parish sometimes gives away (they've been known to give things like this away) and he said that it must've been because it was amongst the fliers and other things that the parish puts out for people to take home with them. So, I brought it home with me. I'm still worried that it was someone else's and that I've just stolen something unintentionally, but dad says it wouldn't be there if it wasn't meant to be there. And, hey, I checked to see if it belonged to anyone and no one said anything. Also, there was no price on it, so it must've been put out intentionally.
The awesome part about all of that is that when I did penance and was praying the Hail Mary's in front of the tabernacle, I had an image of Mary that looked like the one on the front of the booklet with the medal. I can't even begin to describe this feeling I got when I said my last Hail Mary... it was so peaceful and, as silly as it might sound, I felt like my spirit had been lifted up by her. What I asked God when I prayed, for a sign, seems to have come in the form of me finding the medal. Or, at least that is what I think. I just think it's awesome. I'm going to dedicate a good portion of Lent to praying to Our Mother (that's what I call her) and learning more about different ways she's appeared to saints (like in the form of Our Lady of Guadalupe). I have a feeling that she will be able to help me and to shed light on some things I am worried/thinking about. I'm going to have the medal blessed, hopefully soon, and I'll definitely carry it everywhere with me.
And, with Lent starting in a few days, I've decided to give up one more thing... and for good. I am giving up my superstitions. I know we shouldn't be superstitious but I have a few things I'm careful about so I'm going to get rid of them during Lent. Whoo! And, man, I can't believe Lent is so early this year. I didn't have enough time to prepare myself but I guess I'm more ready this year than I've ever been, which is good. :D
Alright, well, it's nearly 1 in the morning and I have to get up early for mass so... 'til next time, thanks for ready and God bless. :D
The awesome part about all of that is that when I did penance and was praying the Hail Mary's in front of the tabernacle, I had an image of Mary that looked like the one on the front of the booklet with the medal. I can't even begin to describe this feeling I got when I said my last Hail Mary... it was so peaceful and, as silly as it might sound, I felt like my spirit had been lifted up by her. What I asked God when I prayed, for a sign, seems to have come in the form of me finding the medal. Or, at least that is what I think. I just think it's awesome. I'm going to dedicate a good portion of Lent to praying to Our Mother (that's what I call her) and learning more about different ways she's appeared to saints (like in the form of Our Lady of Guadalupe). I have a feeling that she will be able to help me and to shed light on some things I am worried/thinking about. I'm going to have the medal blessed, hopefully soon, and I'll definitely carry it everywhere with me.
And, with Lent starting in a few days, I've decided to give up one more thing... and for good. I am giving up my superstitions. I know we shouldn't be superstitious but I have a few things I'm careful about so I'm going to get rid of them during Lent. Whoo! And, man, I can't believe Lent is so early this year. I didn't have enough time to prepare myself but I guess I'm more ready this year than I've ever been, which is good. :D
Alright, well, it's nearly 1 in the morning and I have to get up early for mass so... 'til next time, thanks for ready and God bless. :D
Friday, February 1, 2008
Re-evaluating Everything.
It's a bit frustrating to have all my plans up in the air. I had good plans a few weeks ago, then came exciting new plans. Those new plans brought out a side of me I never thought I'd see and it made me very uncomfortable. In the end, I don't know what I am going to do after all. As posted in the previous post, I was so excited about these new plans that had re-surfaced. I had it all planned out. I had a clear vision of it in my mind and I had started to do the research. I also noticed that as soon as I had accepted the newer plans, I had started to not care about certain (important!) things anymore. Worst of all, I started getting thoughts where I started questioning certain things I believed in. Once I realized that, I was thrown into a tailspin. I've been working really hard to get rid of the liberal side of myself (which has been hard as I've grown up surrounded by extremely liberal people) and this new thing had started pulling me back into that state of mind. It's incredibly stressful. On the one hand, I know I am capable of doing the project without compromising my beliefs and actually turning it into something positive. On the other hand, my biggest worry is that I'll be way too weak to actually pull it off and that I'll also do something I will later regret.
Of course, there's more to it. There were a lot of issues that were going to be a problem (which is what I was researching). Differences were going to make things a lot harder. Everything from dating issues (such as premarital sex -- being Catholic and being opposed to it while dating an Agnostic who puts a lot of emphasis on the physical aspect of the relationship) to political/social issues (one person being moderate when it comes to a lot of issues, the other being extremely liberal)... all of that makes life difficult. I was sincerely up for the challenge until I saw that it was going to pull me away from the Church. It might have been little things but even doubting those tiny things makes me extremely nervous.
If this makes no sense, I sincerely apologize. I was talking about working on a screenplay, but the thought of getting into the business and working with people who will try to change me just isn't my cup of tea. I've known (through school and friendships) people who do it for a living and I have absolutely no desire to go through what they do. So, I've axed those "dreams" and will continue writing my novel, as planned.
I had a very strange dream last night where I was asking for the Virgin Mary's help because I'd literally become someone who I didn't recognize. I looked in the mirror and noticed I was, physically, a different person. I remember that once I started praying and kept saying "Hail Mary" over and over, I slowly began looking like myself again. I actually saw myself physically transform back to what I actually look like. Then my father said something about my grandmother and praying for her because she was about to die (in real life, she passed away 3 years ago this March). He also mentioned praying to the Virgin Mary and praying 3 Hail Marys. When I woke up, I felt like I did before all these doubting thoughts came into my mind. I asked God for a sign last night (after this rather... odd... incident I had when I was by myself) as to what to do. After the incident and the dream, I know exactly what I will be doing during Lent (I was still going back and forth between giving up football matches and the internet). So, for Lent, I will be dedicating myself to praying more than I ever have and hopefully I'll get an answer as to what exactly I'm supposed to do with everything that's going on. Not just with the project but with almost everything in my life because everything is in question at the moment.
Alright, well, I am exhausted for some reason (I feel like I haven't slept even though I have) so I will go take a nap and then get back to answer e-mails and comments on facebook. I originally had a post about football (and footballers) planned but it can wait until tomorrow. Liverpool's playing so it'll give me more to write about... especially if they don't screw it up again. lol. Bring on international break!
Anyhoo, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D
Of course, there's more to it. There were a lot of issues that were going to be a problem (which is what I was researching). Differences were going to make things a lot harder. Everything from dating issues (such as premarital sex -- being Catholic and being opposed to it while dating an Agnostic who puts a lot of emphasis on the physical aspect of the relationship) to political/social issues (one person being moderate when it comes to a lot of issues, the other being extremely liberal)... all of that makes life difficult. I was sincerely up for the challenge until I saw that it was going to pull me away from the Church. It might have been little things but even doubting those tiny things makes me extremely nervous.
If this makes no sense, I sincerely apologize. I was talking about working on a screenplay, but the thought of getting into the business and working with people who will try to change me just isn't my cup of tea. I've known (through school and friendships) people who do it for a living and I have absolutely no desire to go through what they do. So, I've axed those "dreams" and will continue writing my novel, as planned.
I had a very strange dream last night where I was asking for the Virgin Mary's help because I'd literally become someone who I didn't recognize. I looked in the mirror and noticed I was, physically, a different person. I remember that once I started praying and kept saying "Hail Mary" over and over, I slowly began looking like myself again. I actually saw myself physically transform back to what I actually look like. Then my father said something about my grandmother and praying for her because she was about to die (in real life, she passed away 3 years ago this March). He also mentioned praying to the Virgin Mary and praying 3 Hail Marys. When I woke up, I felt like I did before all these doubting thoughts came into my mind. I asked God for a sign last night (after this rather... odd... incident I had when I was by myself) as to what to do. After the incident and the dream, I know exactly what I will be doing during Lent (I was still going back and forth between giving up football matches and the internet). So, for Lent, I will be dedicating myself to praying more than I ever have and hopefully I'll get an answer as to what exactly I'm supposed to do with everything that's going on. Not just with the project but with almost everything in my life because everything is in question at the moment.
Alright, well, I am exhausted for some reason (I feel like I haven't slept even though I have) so I will go take a nap and then get back to answer e-mails and comments on facebook. I originally had a post about football (and footballers) planned but it can wait until tomorrow. Liverpool's playing so it'll give me more to write about... especially if they don't screw it up again. lol. Bring on international break!
Anyhoo, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Ch-Ch-Changes and Lent
My goodness, so much has happened in the last couple of days that all the plans I had have just dramatically changed. I do have writing in my near future, but the novel has been put on hold in favor of another project that has re-surfaced. Just when I thought I was out... they pull me back in. lol. It's good though. It's great writing experience for me and it'll definitely help me when I am go back to my book. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't excited about this change of plans. I don't think I've ever been as giddy as I am; at least not for a long time. :D I just hope God gives me strength to be able to complete the project through without any problems (any health problems, at least). I will also learn to give up sleep and other things, like watching football (soccer) matches, until I am done.
Speaking of giving up football matches... that is precisely what I am doing for Lent. After the way Liverpool played today, and have played lately, I won't be missing much. lol. I was thinking about giving up the internet as well but, since the change of plans, I won't be able to do it because I need to do a ton of research. It looks like most, if not all, of Lent will be spent at mass, the library and my home. I was thinking about the fasting portion of Lent (for Ash Wednesday, etc.) but I will have to talk to a priest about that because I can't actually fast. I get pretty sick if I don't eat every 3 hours so, we'll see. Hopefully there is something else I can do on the days we're required to fast.
Yes, this is the end of my blog for today. I'm spending the rest of the evening having quality time with one of my favorite guys, mainly doing research. Pfft. Research shouldn't be as fun as what I'm going to be doing (which is basically watching a bunch of DVDs and taking notes). Oh, yeah... if you see "The Way I Am" by Ingrid Michaelson popping up on my Last.Fm counter (shows what I am listening to at the moment; it's on the right side of this post), that is no glitch. It's my new favorite song hence listening to it obsessively. lol. :D Well, 'til next time... thanks for reading and God Bless. :D
Speaking of giving up football matches... that is precisely what I am doing for Lent. After the way Liverpool played today, and have played lately, I won't be missing much. lol. I was thinking about giving up the internet as well but, since the change of plans, I won't be able to do it because I need to do a ton of research. It looks like most, if not all, of Lent will be spent at mass, the library and my home. I was thinking about the fasting portion of Lent (for Ash Wednesday, etc.) but I will have to talk to a priest about that because I can't actually fast. I get pretty sick if I don't eat every 3 hours so, we'll see. Hopefully there is something else I can do on the days we're required to fast.
Yes, this is the end of my blog for today. I'm spending the rest of the evening having quality time with one of my favorite guys, mainly doing research. Pfft. Research shouldn't be as fun as what I'm going to be doing (which is basically watching a bunch of DVDs and taking notes). Oh, yeah... if you see "The Way I Am" by Ingrid Michaelson popping up on my Last.Fm counter (shows what I am listening to at the moment; it's on the right side of this post), that is no glitch. It's my new favorite song hence listening to it obsessively. lol. :D Well, 'til next time... thanks for reading and God Bless. :D
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
The City, Dating Advice and the Application Mambo.
I spent a good portion of my day in the city (I live in the suburbs). I got to see my Godmother at her office (she's a lawyer amongst other things), which is always awesome. Even though I'm definitely a city girl, I will never get used to the traffic. My goodness... if I had a penny for every time I've been stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic, I'd be incredibly rich. Not Bill Gates rich but pretty close. lol. For those who have ever been in big cities like New York City or Los Angeles, then you know that the streets are also disgusting -- especially the downtown areas. The smell of pee and other foul odors are the norm... a very nauseating norm but a norm nonetheless. Thankfully, I didn't really have to deal with that at my Godmother's office but *gag* I will never go into another fast food restaurant in (and around) the downtown area. Haha. *shudders* Despite that, I still liked being out in the city because I get to be amongst the chaos... which I sometimes love. I love watching people in business suits walk in and out of offices. I probably love that whole scene because I hope I never have to do that and I'm secretly happy I'm not. lol. A 9-to-5 job, especially in an office, is unappealing to me. My Godmother actually had hopes of me joining her when I graduated college until I took that criminal law course and absolutely hated it. Sorry, I'm more of an artist at heart. :D
One awesome thing I got to experience in that little while I was at my Godmother's office... hanging out with her son (would it be correct to call him my Godbrother?) who also works there. He's so rad; I love him! He, along with my Godmother's other son and daughter (who's also my first communion Godmother), has known me since I was born so I'll always be "the baby." In fact, they still call me that despite the fact that I haven't been a baby for over 2 decades. Every time they talk to my mom they always ask how "the baby" (me) is. lol. Anyway, every year my Godbrother (?) imparts great wisdom on me. This year is was about dating. I'm going to stop there because I don't like talking about my love life. Let's just say that he made me re-evaluate a lot of things and made me realize other things. Overall, SO GLAD he gave me the advice. it's great to be able to talk to someone who's been there-done that (he just got married a few months ago)... especially someone of the opposite sex. Whoo! :D And I also found it a bit ironic all this advice came, out of the blue, at a time when I actually needed to hear it. It has to be a sign. Haha.
Okay, well, it's not too late (it's nearly 10 p.m.) but I've just finished doing the application mambo so I am exhausted. What is the application mambo? For me, it was filling out the re-activation form at my school (because I am taking this semester off), filling out applications to have some transcripts sent to my school, filling out the financial aid forms (FAFSA to my fellow American college students) and just filling out so many applications that ask you the same questions over and over again that you can make a mambo (dance) out of it. lol. And, wow, that has to be the longest run-on sentence in history. Haha. I'm sorry. lol. Since I have to go back into the city tomorrow, I have to get to bed early to get up early in hopes of beating rush-hour traffic. I wonder, is there a patron saint for traffic... or to help avoid traffic? If anyone knows, please leave me a comment with the answer.
That is all for now. Thanks for reading and God Bless. :D
One awesome thing I got to experience in that little while I was at my Godmother's office... hanging out with her son (would it be correct to call him my Godbrother?) who also works there. He's so rad; I love him! He, along with my Godmother's other son and daughter (who's also my first communion Godmother), has known me since I was born so I'll always be "the baby." In fact, they still call me that despite the fact that I haven't been a baby for over 2 decades. Every time they talk to my mom they always ask how "the baby" (me) is. lol. Anyway, every year my Godbrother (?) imparts great wisdom on me. This year is was about dating. I'm going to stop there because I don't like talking about my love life. Let's just say that he made me re-evaluate a lot of things and made me realize other things. Overall, SO GLAD he gave me the advice. it's great to be able to talk to someone who's been there-done that (he just got married a few months ago)... especially someone of the opposite sex. Whoo! :D And I also found it a bit ironic all this advice came, out of the blue, at a time when I actually needed to hear it. It has to be a sign. Haha.
Okay, well, it's not too late (it's nearly 10 p.m.) but I've just finished doing the application mambo so I am exhausted. What is the application mambo? For me, it was filling out the re-activation form at my school (because I am taking this semester off), filling out applications to have some transcripts sent to my school, filling out the financial aid forms (FAFSA to my fellow American college students) and just filling out so many applications that ask you the same questions over and over again that you can make a mambo (dance) out of it. lol. And, wow, that has to be the longest run-on sentence in history. Haha. I'm sorry. lol. Since I have to go back into the city tomorrow, I have to get to bed early to get up early in hopes of beating rush-hour traffic. I wonder, is there a patron saint for traffic... or to help avoid traffic? If anyone knows, please leave me a comment with the answer.
That is all for now. Thanks for reading and God Bless. :D
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)