Ups and Downs; Taking Care of Dad, Round Three; Holy Week.

Boy, I've had two weeks of ups and downs. It's been mostly ups, though.Some of the downers have included not being able to give my pro-life/anti-abortion speech for my Ethics class. The professor said there wasn't time, which really ticked me off because a fellow female classmate gave a pro-choice/pro-abortion speech and I wasn't even given the opportunity to contradict what she said. I worked hard on that speech, too. Grr. One day...

Another downer was that, even though I was happy to have dad home, I wasn't happy over the fact that he was still in pain. He said he'd been in pain for days so he came home early to go to the doctor's. Yesterday the doctor told him he has liver problems... which explains his lack of appetite and pain in his lower back. Not only that, because he's had problems with doctors before, 3 different doctor's have refused to treat him. The oncologist he had reported him for missing appointments (two) and now if he (heaven forbid) gets cancer for a third time, we'll have a difficult time finding him another oncologist. That's just going to make me a stressed out loony because I already had a hard time the second time around.

Unfortunately, I had absolutely NO help from anyone except my mom when my dad was diagnosed with cancer the second time around. The first time hr had cancer my mom and eldest brother did all they could because I was still in high school. Even then, I burnt myself out to finish HS a year and a half early (13 classes in 3 months -- even went 51 straight hours without sleep to finish the last homework assignments), so that I could stay at home and help my dad when no one else was home. This second time around, I asked mom to take care of things financially while I took care of everything else. Looking for a bilingual oncologist, making sure dad got to his chemotherapy appointments, spending hours on the phone fighting Medicare and Medical twice when they threatened to stop his chemotherapy, staying at home to take care of him when he was really sick... and while I had a full load at school. I'm honestly surprised I didn't have some sort of breakdown. I think now you guys understand why my anxiety was horrible last year and the year before. I pray to God that dad doesn't have to suffer through something life threatening again. I don't care about the stress it causes me; I can do what needs to be done, it's not a problem. It's the least I could do for him, especially after all he's done for me my entire life. Anyway, this whole liver problems thing just reminded me of the last time they told him he had cancer. I ended up going up to the San Fernando Mission to see if I could find a prayer card of St. Erasmus, whom I'm told is the patron saint of liver illnesses, but sadly they didn't have any. Still, I'll keep looking and praying that it's something that can be taken care of as soon as possible.

It's weird. I went from being happy that dad was home, and was incredibly happy with the beautiful chapel veil he brought me from Mexico (pictures to come as soon as I get them uploaded), to being worried about him. I'm just going to keep an optimistic look on things and pray for the best.

Something fantastic that happened this week was that, in the midst of my choosing which university I'd transfer to, I received packages and letters from the Catholic college where I'm technically a student at... one of which included a $10,000 scholarship. Not only that, I was surprised that I'm going to receive A LOT in additional grants. When it's all added up, it'll cover over half of my tuition for the year... and it's renewable every year as long as I keep my GPA where it's at right now. It pays to be a nerd! lol. With this, and with me potentially staying at home to take care of my dad again, it's like a sign for me to stay here. The other school I was considering was in England, though I don't want to say which one it was because I don't want anyone giving me a hard time about not going there. I'm hoping to win a few more scholarships so I won't be too much in debt by the time I finish my degree. Ready or not, here I come... and I still won't budge on fighting to keep the school Catholic.

Oh, and did I mention that I totally kicked tush on my Philosophy of Ethics midterm exam? I got my blue book back on Wednesday with a huge red "A" at the top. :D I've passed all my midterm exams thus far. I won't know how I did on my other exams until after Spring Break. It can wait. :D I'm just happy all the cramming I did for my Ethics midterm, that wasn't on St. Thomas Aquinas, paid off. Whoo!

And to keep the happiness going before I end the post... who is looking forward to Holy Week? I certainly am! I'm happy to be able to go to confessions this Saturday (don't know why people complain about doing this), going to Palm Sunday early Sunday morning, and then celebrating Holy Week (including going to church on Holy Thursday) with my brand new chapel veil. That's right, I'm wearing it to the upcoming Masses and I don't care what anyone thinks. *snap* lol. :D I have MANY things planned during the week, which is why I might not post that often once again. It's all for a good cause though. :D

Okay, I've written too much... as usual. I'll try to write more often to make sure the posts don't get this long again. :D As always, thanks for reading and God Bless.
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Faith Trashing Professors; Ethics Speech; Prayer Request.

I'm having one of those days where I'm missing my big brother, quite badly, so I have to throw myself into things to keep from thinking about it too much. I know he's up in Heaven, and that brings me some comfort.

Anyway...

Oy to the vey. School related things are slowly taking over my free time. If I'm not studying or doing something for one of my classes, I'm probably sleeping or trying to keep sane. This ought to teach me not to get another early morning class... and that what I was able to do at 19, I can't at 23 (i.e.- getting up at 5:30-6:30 a.m. for a 6:30-7:30 a.m. English class). Come to think of it, I was even more exhausted then. This is something I should've remembered 3 months ago when I signed up for the course. Oh well... now I know. :) On the upside, 5 weeks into the semester and no anxiety whatsoever (well, not at school) so that's something worth celebrating.

Something not as good... faith trashing professors. Ever since that situation with the professor ripping on a student's faith, professors have either been more sensitive to what they say about religion, or they talk trash about it and about whoever talks about it. Since it happened within the district, some of my own professors have brought it up in class. One, my English prof., politely asked us not to bring the subject of religion into her class. I've already talked about how another allows students to gang up on a classmate of mine (and occasionally on me because I have the guy's back; we Christians need to have each others' backs). Don't get me started on the issues I have with that professor. lol. Since my other two classes (which are both Philosophy courses) deal with religion, it's unavoidable talking about it. In one of the classes, I've had a few people attack me... ONLY because I'm Catholic. Yes, that was the only reason. It was like "Pick on the Catholic" day. Of course, I said "Bring it on!" and defended myself. It wasn't too harsh so I didn't stress it.

In my other Philosophy course (Ethics) there's no Catholic bashing, per se, but the professor always says something about Catholicism which is either somewhat untrue (half correct, half incorrect) or just doesn't seem too happy talking about the religion. (He's a Protestant, in case you're wondering, though a very liberal one from what he says he supports.) Though he's brought up saints and even the late, great Pope John Paul II, he doesn't seem entirely okay with our beliefs. When my friend/classmate, and fellow Catholic, asked about St. Augustine's Confessions, the prof. sort of dismissed it because it was autobiographical. She and I just looked at each other and shook our heads. That's actually something you'll see us do quite a bit in that class. I'm happy I have someone who shares the same beliefs and morals as I do. We even spent Monday and yesterday comparing what medals and things we had. She had more medals than I did, but I have more prayer cards on hand. It's nice to know she'll have my back in case the vultures attack on Monday... which I'm counting on.

On Monday (or possibly Wednesday, depending on time), I have to present an Ethics speech either condemning or supporting an ethical issues. I chose abortion because it's the one that I'm most passionate about. That, and I already did an anti-Euthanasia paper for a Criminal Law class (when I was still thinking about becoming a lawyer) a few years ago. I think I have enough material to make it through the required 3-4 minutes of my argument against abortion, thanks to my friends on twitter who sent me a slew of great links. The only part I'm dreading is the questions portion because there's this guy in the class, who is sincerely disliked by a number of classmates, who is a pain in the tush and one of the rudest people I've met. I tend to be painfully shy when I'm in a classroom full of people I don't know (and ONLY when it's in a classroom setting) so I'm easy prey for the guy. I think he's already singled me out, too. The girl who gets up to make a speech and has an bright pink/red blush... yeah, that's me. I'm trying to keep positive thoughts about it, though. I will definitely say a prayer to St. Dymphna for a calm, anxiety-free mind, and to St. Thomas Aquinas - patron saint of students and philosophers. I'll let y'all know how it goes.

Before I end this blog (despite having more to talk about), I want to ask y'all a little favor. My dad is leaving on business tomorrow and we're not sure when he's coming back. He's going down to Mexico where there has been a lot of violence in the past couple of months. If y'all can say a little prayer, that he makes it back safe and sound, I'd greatly appreciate it. He and I might not always see eye-to-eye, especially when I want to go to confession and/or Mass and he refuses to take me, but he's still my dad and I don't want to see anything bad happen to him.

Alright, that's it for now. Part two is coming soon. I still need to write about soon-to-be attending a (not so) Catholic college... and the haunted dorms in said college. Fun! lol. :D

Oh, something that is fun is this video which is the greatest thing I've seen all year.


Is that enough procrastinating? lol. I think I need to go finish my Speech class (not my Ethics speech) homework. :D As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. Oh, and if you have anti-abortion/pro-life links please send them my way! :D
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Twitter; Twilight Series Review.

See? New post in a couple of days. I'm getting better at this. :D I've had a break from school due to my being sick again so I've had time to catch up on schoolwork, emails and twitter.

I have been meeting many cool Catholics on twitter. Someone was smart enough to compile a list of all the Catholics on twitter (on Tweet Catholic) and we've all been "following" each other. It's great to see how nice everyone is! If you have a problem, you'll get at least two people replying to you within the minute. I've had my twitter account for about a year and some change but I've only started updating regularly in the past 2 months. If you want to be added to the list, or see who's on it, please visit their site. :D I'm somewhere in the 120s. You'll recognize my username (nerdwriter) and name. Oh, and please feel free to add me if you already haven't. :D

One thing I've been meaning to write about for months is my review on the Twilight book series. I already sort of reviewed the movie but not the books. I need to say that I saw the movie before I read the books. I seriously try to keep away from these type of fads but I caved and saw the movie, then read the books. As I said with the movie review, I was surprised. I actually liked the movie more than I thought I would. It was tame compared to the books. The books were... wow. I actually read the entire series (four books between 500+ and 700+ pages) in a week. (side note: This was all before I headed back to school.) I was going to do a book by book review but that would take forever and I won't have time for it in a long while. Instead, I'm going to give you guys my impression/review on the entire series.

I liked and disliked the series at the same time. I loved, loved, loved that it was surprisingly pro-abstinence and pro-life. Yes, underneath all that lusting Bella did, and despite her numerous attempts to get Edward to give on his "not until marriage" deal, it was kept very PG-13. In fact, Edward kept reminding Bella (often annoyed at her persistence) that he wouldn't even consider it unless they were married... and even then, he wasn't too keen on the idea because he could hurt her. But, as I said earlier, there was way too much lusting and I can definitely see reviews by others about it not being suitable for young teenagers. The last book was quite intense (I actually got physically sick from reading it because of the gruesome details). There were a few redeeming qualities though. Bella and Edward got married in the traditional sense, with a pastor. They waited until their wedding night to get intimate (and, thankfully, Stephenie Meyer just implied it and didn't go into great detail about it). AND when Bella gets pregnant (don't get me started on this), Edward and most everyone else is wanting Bella to "get rid of it". Bella refused to get an abortion, and even got her "sister-in-law", Rosalie, to protect her against any possible attacks. Bella got close to dying during her pregnancy, and especially during the too graphic birth scene, but she refused to have the abortion. She would coo to her stomach that she loved him/her and that nothing would make her change her mind about giving birth. I greatly appreciated the fact that Stephenie put this into the novel, especially considering how many young women have read the books. Bella's love of her child mattered more than her life, which many women in real life have also done. I've read several articles on Catholic women diagnosed with cancer and other illnesses, whom all gone through the pregnancy and have died either during childbirth or shortly after. St. Gianna Beretta Molla is an excellent example of this.

Sadly, beautiful messages such as that were seem to be overshadowed by other events in the series. Besides the lusting, which I've already mentioned and which is ever present throughout the series, there are some serious issues. First, a lot of graphic and detailed images that are put into your head. I would be weary of my younger adopted sisters on reading the first couple of books, and I would snatch the books out of their hands if they got the last two in their hands. Particularly, the last one where there's way too much sexuality for their own good -- both implies and described. There were a few other things that bothered me. Bella was too wrapped up in Edward. So much so that when he left, she fell into a deep depression and was just completely unbearable. I honestly think it's completely unhealthy to have your world revolve around someone that intensely. Edward, though I liked his character more than Bella's, was also very possessive (sometimes on an unhealthy, creepy level) of Bella. I understand that they felt an intensity in their relationship but it was too overdone. It gives girls the wrong ideas and will give them fantasies that THIS is the type of relationship you should have.

I can't count how many times I've heard girls fantasize about having a Twilight style romance. It disturbs me to the core. In a recent article of the Busted Halo (called Twilight Zone), Marie Pitt-Payne is quoting as saying she believe the books are "an equivalent to soft porn … for girls." I have to say, I agree but only when it comes to the last two books. The first two books barely squeak by as being very intense teen novels. The last two, under 18 beware! If I didn't keep reminding myself to look for some redeemable qualities in the books (trying to find some things that could be viewed as positives, such as the underlying abstinence and pro-life messages), the messages (up to Bella's pregnancy and the birth of Bella and Edward's daughter) would've been completely lost. It's very easy to get sucked into the romance and I can see how women are falling for Edward (and the movie's actor, Robert Pattinson) left and right. But, I think they should remember that a) it's a fictional story and, b) like most fictional stories, that's not how things work in the real world.

In the real world, Bella and Edward's love affair doesn't exist. Heck, they don't exist. To try to replicate it is dangerous. As I often say, if a man wants to win my heart, he must first find his way to the Lord. I think it is incredibly important to know yourselves and have a relationship with God before you enter a serious relationship. Also, it is NEVER a good thing to play with temptation. Seeing just how far you can push it, which is what Bella often did with Edward. She pushed his buttons, trying to get him to cave, until he got so upset she dropped the subject. Playing with fire will get you burned. Have people forgotten that lust is one of the Seven Deadly sins? Also, there's too much idolatry of another person. I can probably find all Seven Deadly sins in the book if I looked hard enough.

This entry is getting really long so I will try to wrap it up. In a nutshell, do I recommend these books? A definite "NO!" to the younger readers. To the older reader I'd say, if you really want and if you can't help but read them out of sheer curiosity... read with caution and know yourself and your faith before reading them. While there are good moral messages in the book, it's mostly lost underneath piles of things that you'd probably go to confession for (if you think about it too much). Again, read if you must but I'd put up a caution flag on it.

Alright, well, I think that's all I can really say on it. I tried to give you guys the gist of it because I know I tend to write more than I should. What can I say? I'm a writer. :D I'm going to go enjoy the next hour of my night (to bed early) and think about my novel. It's coming along well and all I need to do is finish writing it. I already have enough material to complete the story. I think I might have a sneak peek coming up in the near future too... ;)

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless!
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