Childlike Wonder in Grad School

Today is my first day back to grad school (hoorah!) but my class doesn't technically begin until tomorrow so I have time for a quick blog post. ;)

Did y'all have book mobiles growing up? I did. I loved the day the book mobile came to my (public) elementary school. While we had a school library, there was something special about the book mobile. I used to get a thrill out of waiting in line and then trying to come up with at least one book to check-out in the 5-10 minute time limit we got. It was an exciting challenge that led to an even more exciting adventure.

How about catalog cards? Does anyone remember those? I loved having to go to the physical library catalog, look up the author by surname on those little cards, then look for the number where the book was located, and finally try to find the book. It was another fun adventure; a scavenger hunt for great treasure.

This quarter I'm taking a class called Historical Books of the Old Testament. It's about, you guessed it, historical books in the Old Testament. From Joshua to Maccabees, I'm going to be studying them for the next 10 weeks. Of course, there is no obvious connection between the two examples I gave and the course. I mean, besides being about books. However, there is one for me: having this course after a 3.5 month break and having the fruitful Lenten season I had has reminded me of little elementary school Emmy and how I miss a side of myself that I haven't seen in nearly two decades.

What was I like as a child? I loved the faith. I wanted to be a nun when I grew up and I would say that to people. I loved attending Mass; I was mesmerized by it, especially the Consecration. Remember, this is me at like 6-8 years old and I was poorly catechized so I didn't know the real significance of what was happening. I just remember not wanting to miss a single thing the priest did during that part of the Mass. I also loved school. I mean, I loved school. I would cry if my parents made me miss a class (and I only did when I was too sick to attend; yes, I would try to go to school even when I was sick). I loved reading, history, science... I just loved academia.

Sadly, I lost a big part of that love (for both the church and school) when I got older. My parents were Catholics by name only and after my First Communion was done, we basically stopped attending Mass. I was teased for being a "geek" at school. I can pinpoint it to junior high -- 7th grade in particular -- when I started to slack off in my studies. It created horrible habits, including one that I still struggle with: procrastination. A few days ago I remembered how much I loved studying but how I tend to procrastinate because I find other things to do. Okay, fine, I get lost in the world of social media and movies, etc. Procrastination + distractions = rushing to get my coursework done. Yes, I can pull a Rory Gilmore and study like a madwoman but it's usually last minute. Read: stress levels through the roof most of the time.

Since I have done some great progress in my recovery (no longer underweight, eating, and sleeping better), I decided to do channel little Emmy and get back into that academic groove I used to be known for. It doesn't hurt that I'm combining two things I loved as a child: the faith and academia. Hooray for Biblical Theology graduate studies! lol. I know it won't be easy or even the same since I'm now older and (obviously) using different tools (i.e. internet, computers) that I didn't have back then but I think this will help me this quarter.

I've been doing the Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati novena (his birthday is coming up on Wednesday) and I've been asking him to intercede for me in regards to distractions (which result in procrastination) and lack of concentration. My concentration is shot even when I'm doing something simple; that bad. I think I have the tools necessary to curve the social media distractions (hello, Lenten practice!) and I think I've figured out times when I'd be able to get the most out of my studies (read: quiet times in an apartment building) but I still need that extra help so Bl. Pier Giorgio is getting bugged now and the Holy Spirit will get bugged afterward. lol.

I wonder if my plan to have a childlike wonder in grad school will help. When I was younger, I'd ask questions about something I didn't understand or wanted to know more about because I was curious. I stopped because of the teasing and because I didn't want people to think I was dumb. Nowadays, I don't really care too much about looking dumb so I ask. I'm going to try it again. I hope that between this state of mind, the toolbox for studying I've created (classical music and/or Gregorian chants, Pomodoro technique app, specific schedule, etc), and reminding myself of what my goal is (graduating in two years with knowledge to help others learn more about the Church) I will do well. Maybe I'll even treat myself to trips to the library every now and then to check-out physical books as rewards for a good exam or a good week. Yes, I'm enough of a "geek" to really see that as a gift to myself. ;)

Anyway, I don't know why I wanted to share this... I just did. ;) Maybe it's the excitement of starting classes again. Perhaps it's a way to remind myself and keep myself accountable. Both? We shall see. :D

Alright, I'm trying to get to bed as early as 10 p.m. (seriously) so I can get enough sleep and then get up early to study for the first class begins. Technically we online students aren't getting the lecture video until Wednesday, I believe, but I want to get as much done (read: get ahead a little if I'm able to) as I can. I want to savor everything and since it is just one course this quarter, I think I may have the luxury to do just that. I don't want to be rushing through the reading last minute like I have been doing for years. Yes, years. Don't try this (procrastinating) at home... not even you professionals. ;)

I hope those of you who are also starting their quarters have a great quarter. For those of you about to do your finals, good luck! I'll be praying for all you students. :)

As always, thanks for reading and God bless. :D

Transfer Application Tango and Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati.

It's the time of the year when high school seniors and transfer students are doing the transfer application tango. Of course it's not called that but I like to call it that. Don't ask me why, I just do. lol. Anyway, as some of you (who have read this blog for over a year) know, I went through this process last year. Unfortunately, plans change (when do they not?) and I must go through this again. The good news is that I'm a lot more prepared than I was last year. I'm basically done with all my core requirements and have even got all but one or two of the lower division requirements completed. One of those requirements that I need I'm currently taking (Philosophy of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam -- or, as I call it, Phil. of Monotheistic Religions) so I'll be free to take my Creative Writing lower division requirement (last one I need) next semester. "But wait, aren't you just majoring in Religious Studies?" you may ask. Well, no. I'm technically double majoring in Religious Studies AND Creative Writing. If I end up at one of school I'm applying to in L.A. I'll be able to do both without much trouble. If I end up at my dream school (yes, I decided to apply despite protests and guilt trips from my mother)), I'll have to either focus on one of those OR opt to merge them together and major in Religion, Literature, and the Arts. Yes, that's the official title of it. I have a lot of options, which I'm really excited about.

I'm also excited that I dropped my Biological Psychology course. Had I mentioned that before? I don't remember. Anyway, I had to drop it. I had begun getting chest pains (and scary ones at that) because the class really stressed me out. The professor was kind of nutty so I decided to take it next semester with another professor. It all works out because I needed two more courses to be considered a full time student next semester and now I have one less to worry about. Of course I ask for saints intercessions when it gets tough but this was one class I just couldn't handle because of the professor's unrealistic expectations.

I ask St. Joseph of Cupertino whenever I am nervous about an exam (which has been twice so far) and I've done very well. St. Thomas Aquinas also gets props because I ask him to intercede for me when I'm at a loss for words in my Philosophy course. Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati is going to be my transfer application patron saint. Why did I choose him? Because a) the way he lived his life inspires me to become a better person, b) he was my age when he went up to heaven, and c) he never got to finish his degree. In fact, he was just about to finish his degree to become a mining engineer when he contracted poliomyelitis and passed away. Since it's taken me this long to finish my own degree (due to illness and taking care of my father for all those years), I thought it was appropriate to ask for his intercession during this process. I'm not going to ask that, through his intercession, I get into my dream school. That would entirely too selfish of me. I'm going to pray that I get into the school that I will learn the most from; where I will be able to help others better. Of course, I want to go to my dream university but if it's not where the Lord wants me, then I won't go there. At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I'm leaving it all up to God. May I go and do according to His will, not mine.

You know what? Since I wrote that blog about enjoying being single and giving my heart to God for safe keeping, things have gotten much better. Everything is falling into place. I am less worried about a lot of things. I've been able to enjoy my friendships (with both my girlfriends and guy friends) a lot better. I can see some of my friendships coming to an end, and I'm sad about that, but I can also see why it would be for the best. Leaving it all up to God, yet trying to live my life as best as I can and never giving up on my dreams, is something I should've done a long time ago. *content sigh*

Alright, that's it for now. I'm going to go take a test for my Interpersonal Communication class... two weeks early. Yes, it's not due for another 2 weeks but if I can get it done today I can read the two chapters on Judaism assigned for my Philosophy course. It's all review for me since I've taken similar courses but I still love any excuse I can get to read the Old Testament and then see how various textbooks (authors, really) interpret it. :D And now I'm stalling. lol.

I hope everyone had a great week and weekend. Fingers crossed that I can make it Mass later today (if I feel well enough to walk two miles two and from the nearest parish). As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D



P.S. The book reviews on the Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati books are coming soon. Seriously. Just let me get through the next couple of days (up to Wednesday, max) of class lectures so I can focus solely on the reviews.

Ay, Classmates!; Family Bonding: Catholic Edition; Music Monday

Oh, school... I love and hate you at the same time. lol. I love school because I always have. I love learning, even when it's outside a classroom. Yes, I am a full on geek and proud. lol. One thing that I don't like is the constant Catholic and Christian bashing. In two of my classes it's more obvious, and one of them isn't even a religion or philosophy course. I spend a good amount of time on the online discussion forums "arguing" with my classmates because they just LOVE to talk trash. I'm a pacifist (with a feisty side, but that's another story) so I don't like all the snide comments made about the Christian faith and wish I could just change everyone's mind. I wouldn't go all the way to holding hands and having kumbaya moment, but, you know, not blatantly attacking others' beliefs because they're different. Sadly, this isn't the case nor do I ever see it getting better (at least not this semester) so I must defend with all the knowledge I have. On one hand, I am enjoying it because it's like a little exercise for me. It's helping me strengthen my faith, and for that I'm grateful. I'm just tired of the redundant question and comments my classmates like to make. OH! And don't get my started on my issues with some of the guys for thinking that pornography is not only okay, but also not considered cheating. *shakes head* That's a whole 'nother argument. Oh well, I'll just have to endure it for 5 more weeks. Just 5 more weeks... I can do it... I hope. lol.

Another good thing that all of this has brought my parents and I closer together... and got my dad into Mass yesterday (WHOO!!!) My mom's been slowly handing down her saint books, prayer cards, and other things to me. She gave me a book on St. Therese of Lisieux that was made in the 1960s (I believe) that helped her during a hard time in her life. Over the past week, she's also been sharing a book on stories of the Old Testament that she's had since she went to a private, Catholic school in Mexico. (Granddad was VERY Catholic so my mom had to go to that school.) I read the inscription her teacher wrote on her book that dates back to 1964. The book's still in pretty good condition considering how old it is. I have a lot of stories my mom's told me about her time growing up with the nuns and the convent/school. I'm proudly carrying on the tradition of having at least 2 years of Catholic schooling under my belt... or will as soon as I graduate. Despite all of this, she's still a lapsed Catholic. *sigh* She's not my toughest "mission challenge" though.

Dad's quite stubborn so getting him to even drive me to Mass (darn the lack of license!) is sometimes a struggle. On Saturday, though, I got him to open up a bit about his past experiences with the Church. On the way back from the O.C. (an hour's drive from my casa), he was telling me about the pilgrimages he used to make during Lent. The way he described it, you could tell that those were his favorite memories. I had a great chat about religion with him after that. I really loved it. :) He also willingly took me to confessions later that day and surprised me by going to Mass with me yesterday morning. So maybe it won't be as hard as I thought getting my parents back to the Church (and not just for Mass), but I still have a struggle ahead of me. Maybe I should get my mom's Godparents to help me out; I know they would do all they could. Don't know about my dad, but I'm working on it. At least I know they have fond memories of the Church and that they like to share stories making for one big family bonding moment. I love that. :D For now, my mission continues. I will not give up until both are no longer considered lapsed Catholics. :D

Okay, before I finish my blog (yay! it's a short one today :D), I wanted to share a Music Monday update. I haven't done it in a while (sorry) but I am today. This is the second playlist of the novel I'm working on. I'm finally working on the beginning (because I work backwards) so I thought it would be a good idea to listen to the music I loved during that time. (This is around 2005). I also added a few other songs that I just loved listening to while writing. (ie. "Pretty Young Thing" by Blondfire is on loop often)

I didn't add a couple of songs because they were on the first playlist. I will say that the song "Rhapsody in Blue" by George Gershwin plays a BIG role in the first chapter of the novel. Also, I have permission to change Will's taste in music in the novel. Ah, I love that freedom. :D

Okay, that's it for now. I have to go read The Tortilla Curtain by T.C. Boyle for my English class. Did I mention that I have to finish it by Wednesday? Can I finish it in a day? Only one way to find out. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless.

Oh, and P.S. thank you Joe for the nomination. :D
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