When I asked for prayers a couple of weeks ago, stating that I haven't been well for a while, I wasn't kidding. I'm beyond stressed out and my mental and emotional health are barely hanging on. I don't normally share this but I'm going through an incredibly difficult time in my personal life right now. I'm also emotionally exhausted from the ups and (mostly) downs of my health ailments. I want to cry all the time and the toll of it all has begun affecting my health as well. It's like a vicious circle that doesn't end. I've reached my breaking point. That's why I decided, weeks ago, to take a digital detox break. I wish I had started it sooner, though, because I've been on the verge of tears all day today.
I'm so grateful to everyone who follows me and interacts with me on social media... but it seems that I can't post anything these days without at least 3 people contradicting me, telling me what to do, or trying to dissuade me from what I've decided. This is especially true when it comes to health and faith matters. I know most have the best intentions but it's too much for me. I'm going through one of the most emotionally draining times of my life and having these types of comments are not helpful. In fact, they make me feel worse.
I didn't want this to be a venting post. I'm sorry if it came across that way but I wanted y'all to understand why I've decided to do this.
So, what will my break (hopefully) look like? Here are my rules for the next month:
Smartphone usage:
- I'm keeping my phone in a separate room from me while I'm at home. It will be kept on "do not disturb" mode all day. The only calls that will go through are from my mother, my older brother, and my best friend (who is in wedding planning stress mode; please say a prayer for her). I'll have the ringer on just for them so I can hear when they call -- and they only call when it's absolutely necessary.
- I will check for important messages and calls for 5 minutes only after each of Divine Office hours. So, after 6 a.m., 9 a.m., noon, 3 p.m., 6 p.m., and 9 p.m. while I'm awake. After 9 p.m., I won't check messages until the next morning. If I see no messages during my breaks, I'll just move forward with other plans that don't involve my phone.
- I will reply to urgent prayer requests and messages during those 5-minute breaks.
- If someone wants to chat, I will make the time (in advance) to do so. That can be on the phone or in person. Snail mail is also welcomed. This rule applies to only those I know offline or who I've trusted enough with my personal information.
- The only social media app I have on my phone -- Instagram -- will be deleted for the month.
Laptop usage:
I can't completely leave all screens behind for the entire month because, as a freelance writer, I need to do research and submit articles but I will be limiting the use of them overall.
- I will access my email only when I'm on my laptop. The limit will be 3x per day -- once in the morning, once in the afternoon, and once at night. The limit will be for 5 minutes during the day breaks and 30 minutes at night.
- I'm leaving all non-work or personal emails for the weekends. I will reply to non-urgent personal emails at the end of the day but anything that comes from a mailing list (e.g. articles and blog posts) will be left until the weekend.
- I will do most of my writing offline and will then transfer it to the appropriate mediums as needed.
- The laptop will be used only to write, research, link, and respond to emails during the week. Once those things have been taken care of, I will turn it off until I need it for productivity reasons. I'm giving myself limited time over the weekend to catch up on articles and blogs.
- All social media posts to links to my articles and blog posts will be sent through Hootsuite and some will get scheduled if I have more than one to share per day.
- I'm avoiding all streaming content all month that isn't necessary for work (and it rarely is). The exception to this rule is when I'm visiting someone who has streaming content on, e.g. a movie or music.
- I've had the Freedom app in place since last year and I will add even more restrictions to it in case of temptations. It's already helped me out a lot since I got it in April. (And, yes, that's an affiliate link; just a heads up.)
TVs and iPods:
- If I want to watch anything, it'll have to be on TV, either via the blu-ray player or the antenna we use to watch local channels.
- In the spirit of the detox, I'm also limiting how often I use these mediums. I'll use them only when there's someone else watching it (e.g. my mother or if a friend visits).
- I will most likely use my iPod touch the most during the break but with the WiFi turned off. I have a ton of music I've purchased over the years downloaded onto it for when I'm away from the radio and/or want to listen to audiobooks. No, audiobooks won't be streamed; they'll be downloaded. Ditto with podcasts.
- I have radio access at home and in my car to listen to Classical KUSC (since it's local) so that also takes care of the possibility of wanting to listen to something new on my monthly break.
I have a lot of plans to keep myself occupied. Even when I'll be resting (because I'm still at the beginning of my physical recovery mode), I'll have physical books to read, a guitar to play, some modern calligraphy to practice (I'm making the place cards for another best friend's wedding), and sewing to learn. Oh, yes, and lots of places to visit and things to do outside the house when I'm able to get out for a little while.
I'm doing this detox for two main reasons:
1) In hopes to disengage from being so hyper-connected in hopes that it will help my mental health. I don't want to have to go through a mental breakdown while trying to recuperate my physical health as well. I need peace. I need quiet. I need to not worry about anything except getting myself healthy once again and doing God's will (more on that in a bit). If I'm bored (and it's good to be bored; it helps with your creativity), I'll just have to opt for high-quality leisure activities after work and prayers are done.
2) Most importantly, in hopes to discern my vocation AND get ready for my Final Act of Oblation in a couple of months. I need to quiet my mind and my heart so that I can hear God more clearly. I may not currently know what my vocation is but I have zero doubts in my mind that I'm called to be an Oblate. Thus, I need to really embrace the Benedictine lifestyle now that I'm not sleeping, bedridden or dealing with other physical obstacles most days like I was for the first couple of months of my novitiate. I need to spend even more time in prayer and doing Lectio Divina. I need to attend Mass and do Holy Hours as frequently as I can. I've given myself the goal to learn the Act of Oblation and other prayers in Latin as well so I have work to do.
There are a number of things I'll be working on during this month to prepare myself -- especially to better myself as a Benedictine Oblate -- but I think I'll leave those details for future blog posts. And, yes, I do firmly intend to blog more often because I have a lot of really exciting things coming up.
So, those are my plans from tomorrow (World Introvert Day) through Candlemas (February 2nd). Once my detox is over, I'll share with y'all my details on how I'll slowly reintroduce social media and other digital devices; what the changes will be and what will be completely eliminated.
Alright, I guess that's it for now. Please say a prayer for me during this time. Of course, I will keep y'all in my prayers as well! I hope to blog again before the week ends but don't quote me on that. There's a couple of things I want to do offline first. That's why I finished and submitted my work yesterday as well; to have the rest of the week off to focus on that. Let's just say that I'm taking "World Introvert Day" seriously tomorrow and I might extend it through the weekend. ;)
I hope you all had a lovely New Year's Eve and Day. Merry Christmas (until Candlemas for me but Epiphany for most Catholics).
As always, thanks for reading and God bless!
