Mass Intentions; Letters to Our Blessed Mother.

I had one busy day today. I went to two different hospitals (one to renew my health insurance, the other to visit my dad), I had to take care of dad's car insurance, and then we went to the parish I've grown up attending. I haven't been there since a little before dad got sick, choosing to go to the nearby parish instead. It was because it was easier and closer to home. I've missed going to my parish so we decided to make the trip out there, even if it's on the bus. While we were there we decided to add a few Mass intentions to their list. This Saturday, July 4th (at 7 a.m.; no, I don't mind that I have to get up super early for it), there will be one for Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati.

Though we have not see the miracle we'd like, to see dad completely healed, I feel in my heart that he's already interceded for us in another way. Since I started praying and asking for his intercession, my parents and I have been a lot more at peace with everything. Not to say we're more apathetic to everything that's going on... but it seems like we've all accepted that whatever happens is God's will and we're all okay with that. I've always said that but now my parents and family members have also begun to say it. The fact that we're all united, that everyone is praying more, that we're closer to God, and that we've all somehow found strength within ourselves might just be the miracle we were looking for. Either way, I wanted a Mass dedicated in honor of the memory of Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati and I chose it on July 4th because that's his day.

The next day we have two back-to-back Masses to attend. The first is in English (at 9 a.m.) and the Mass intention is in the memory of my older brother, Moises, who passed away before I was born. He was only 11 months old when he died and I'm sorry I never got to know him. The second Mass, in Spanish (at 10:30 a.m.), will be for my dad's health -- he started going downhill, fast, again today :( -- and for Our Lady of Guadalupe. I do not mind that I have 3 Masses to attend in 2 days. In fact, if I could attend Mass every day, I totally would. :) Oh, and I've been asked to keep some of y'all updated on the Masses so if anyone's in the San Fernando Valley or are in the L.A. area and are willing to make the trek out here for any of the Masses, please let me know and I'll tell you at which parish they are taking place at. :)

I'm about to go start a new notebook full of letters to Our Blessed Mother, but before I do I should explain what exactly that is. A year ago I started writing letters to Our Blessed Mother. It began, prior to my starting the novel, as a way to get everything off my chest. Though I'm open with my close friends, I don't disclose everything because I'm somewhat of a private person when it comes to certain things. Because of this, I've kept a lot bottled up. When I was going through a particularly bad experience last year, I decided to write out what I was feeling -- good and/or bad. I haven't written in a couple of weeks but I'm in the triple digits. Since I feel like that chapter of my life is close (I've interesting to see how much you've gone through in a year), I decided to start a new one. With everything that's going on with dad, as well as my personal life, it's time to start writing again. I know it may be weird but it's the best way I can deal with everything. I've been encouraged to turn the letters into a book but I couldn't do it. It's far too personal. On it are things that no living person knows about and I'd like to keep it like that for an extremely long time, thankyouverymuch. lol.

Okay, so, as I said, I am going to do that now that I'm in a very contemplative mood. Listening to Gregorian Chant music will do that to you. :D Oh, and, again, if you're interested in coming to one of the Masses, email me and let me know... or, if you're a person I know in RL, then just text or call me and I'll give you the details. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :)

Quick, and Pretty Happy, Dad Update.

*Note: Started this on June 24, finished on June 26*

I have to write this pretty quick because I am making rice pilaf and it's currently simmering on the stove...

So, good news and a little bit of not so good news. As always, first the bad. Dad's digestive system is starting to fail so they've stopped the feeding. He's now receiving his nutrients through IV. Despite that, he's in better spirits. Also, Medicare and MediCal (who I am often fighting with over the phone) have informed us that they will no longer pay his hospital bills. Better news: Yesterday he was alert and well. No longer semi-conscious. It has been the best I've seen him look in a really long time.

Continued: June 26.
Why is that I always write when I'm cooking? lol. Random. Anyway... Well, dad keeps looking better and better though the doctors are giving us really a really grim prognosis. At first they said 2 weeks to 2 months, now they are saying a month to two left to live... but, as both his doctors have said, it's really up to God. I'm still holding out for that miracle. He is doing better, though. Everyone who has seen him over the past week or so can notice a huge improvement. Mom's expecting for us to see him well and then have his health take a sharp decline. I'm not. I'm expecting him to get better.

He's been very alert, slowing regaining his strength. He's walked a little and has been able to sit up, granted in a wheelchair, by himself for a couple of hours. How to know dad's feeling like himself again: He'll tell you you're doing something wrong and then try to correct it himself. lol. Dad's funny that way. :) He's been slowly working himself up to light (semi-solid) food again, too.

I'm not currently at the hospital because they might take him elsewhere and we're waiting until we're sure. As I said a couple of days ago, Medicare and MediCal are refusing to keep paying for his hospital stay so we had to decide to take him either to a hospice or a convalescent hospital (a.k.a. nursing home). We decided on the convalescent hospital for two reasons: 1) if we took him of the hospice, they'd slowly start taking his meds away and we'd only have him for 48-72 hours before he passed, and 2) my mom works at a convalescent hospital so if we take him there (which we will), she'll be able to keep an eye on him. Mom won't be his nurse but she knows who will be. Mom's worked there since before I was born (they've watched me grow up) so they'll take good care of dad there. :) We're hoping he'll just continue to get better and better there.

With Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati's day coming up on July 4th, we're all stepping up in the prayer department. Dad won't let anyone take the prayer card I gave him of Blessed Pier Giorgio away from him. :) I'm going to see if I can have a priest go visit dad this weekend. Don't know if he'd be able to receive the Eucharist (doctors don't want him to eat anything) but it'd still be nice for dad to get Fr. Juan to chat with him again. :)

AH! That reminds me... I'm that much closer to getting my mom back to the Church -- to confess and receive the Eucharist. :D A few days ago when dad was in bad shape, I was started saying a prayer and something popped up in my mind while I was praying... "Ask mom if she'd promise to marry dad through the Church if Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati does this miracle for us." (They only have a civil ceremony and are currently only legally married.) So I talked to her and for the first time since I can remember, she agreed! Again, it's taken me years to try to convince her of this. It made me think that, if dad survives this, maybe what we're going through was something that needed to happen for us to get closer to God. If not, well, we're already closer than we were, which is fantastic. Either way, I'm praying even harder for that miracle because that would be another dream come true for me -- to have both of my parents back at Church and married through it, the way it's supposed to be. That would make my entire year. We'll see. :)

Okay, I need to get back to cooking, cleaning, and then working on the novel... all while I wait to hear whether I can go see dad today or if I have to wait a bit longer for them to decide whether they'll take him today or tomorrow. :)

Thank you all for your continued prayers and for occasionally checking on me through twitter. I greatly appreciate it. :) As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D

P.S. I'll hopefully write something else, besides updates on my dad, next time. :)

Dad Updates, From My Point of View.

Two pictures of the Sacred Heart of Jesus, one of St. Jude, and the one I added of Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati are on the erase board in front of my father's hospital bed so that he can look at them when he's conscious and alert. I also have a picture of dad with a picture of Blessed Pier Giorgio on his side but, due to respect for my family, I will keep that one private... until, and in case, we get that miracle we're praying for and we need some sort of photographic evidence.

I've been asked by many people to give an update, so here I am. I will actually go to the hospital right after I finish this... and will attempt to sneak into my dad's room.

Dad is on a roller coaster right now. No, not literally. A few days ago, he got so sick that we were told to start making funeral arrangements because he wouldn't make it past the weekend. It's been decided that I am having the final say on where dad will be buried (when the time comes) and what we're going to do because I took care of him and because I've lived the longest with him (not counting my mom, of course). I've decided to keep him in L.A. with us instead of having him taken back to Mexico for personal reason. I assure y'all it wasn't for purely selfish reasons. I took everything into consideration before I decided. We've talked about keeping the three of us (dad, mom, and I) together and that's what we're going to do. He's made it past the weekend... but now they're only giving him 2 more months to live. I won't listen to the estimates though, because only God truly knows when each of us will go. No living human being can tell us how much longer we have. We just have to trust that we will go when God wants us.

Everyone has began falling apart... including myself, though I think, and hope, that I've stayed stronger than they give me credit for. My mom started questioning God for "doing this", but I've talked to her about it so she's no longer doing it. If there's one (or two) thing I haven't done, is give up on dad and keeping my faith close to me. While everyone is pessimistic and thinking the worse, I'm staying optimistic and thanking God for keeping us all intact thus far.

All of my brothers and my sister are here (dad has 6 children; I'm the youngest) and it made my father VERY happy when he saw all 6 of us together, in his hospital room. (We went two-three days without the security kicking us out for having 8+ people in his room). Though he's only half conscious most of the time, he'll ask where one of us is while keeping his eyes closed. Since two really mean nurses (nasty women) reported us for "creating problems" in my dad's room, we've had to take turns seeing dad. (I heard one of them laughing when security was called. If I wasn't trying to continue acting like a lady, I would've given her a piece of my mind.) Yesterday was really hard for me because I was the last one to see him. Reason for that is because on Saturday I ended up at another hospital, in the E.R., for burning, stabbing chest pains. It ended up being a case of bad heartburn with a little anxiety/stress. Since then, they're limiting my time at the hospital. My brothers are leaving today (only my sister is staying with us for another week), so I'll have better luck in seeing him longer tomorrow. Still, I know I have to get out more (both doctor's and family's orders) because the visits are actually making me feel worse. I feel very weak and fatigued the mornings following the visits. The longer I am at the hospital, the worse I feel the next morning. I've already let my friends know I will need them to come watch a movie, or to help me get out of the house once in a while so I don't get worse. It makes me feel guilty... like I'm selfish and uncaring... for doing this but deep down I know it's the right thing to do. I won't be of much use if I get sick too.

I've prayed the Rosary and Chaplet of the Divine Mercy at his bedside a couple of times... but the last few times I've tried, I've gotten chest pains so I haven't anymore. We still pray, though. At any given moment, you will see at least one person praying in dad's room. Yesterday, mom, my sister Ana, and I were all praying different things... along with dad. Dad began singing hymns and praying at the top of his lungs yesterday morning. No one knows why, but he did... and it's actually beautiful. The fact that he does is half consciously is just another way of showing us that God is with us. In fact, the nurse told me that when they asked him why he did that (when he was more alert) he said that he did it because he felt that God was with him, and that that made him very happy. I keep asking Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati for his intercession.

Did I mention that on Friday (the feast day of the Sacred Heart of Jesus) we found the prayer card of Blessed Pier Giorgio on the table next to my dad's bed? It was literally a foot away. No one knows how it got there, either, because we were the first ones to go in in the morning. I'm not jumping to conclusions, though. Whoever put it there... THANK YOU. Every since I asked Blessed Pier Giorgio for a sign -- that either dad will be okay or that we'll be okay -- I've felt nothing but peacefulness and happiness. I don't know if it's just wishful thinking or what, but I have a feeling we'll see a miracle -- again, either in dad or in the family. I think that my faith in God, the Church, and in miracles is so strong that it's what keeps me going without becoming a complete mess. If anything happens, I at least have the consolation that dad will go without any sins on his conscience. I am sincerely thankful that he was able to confess and receive the Eucharist shortly before his health began to decline. That's all I wanted and all I worked for those years I tried to convince him, and prayed for him, to come back to the Church.

SKIP THIS NEXT PARAGRAPH IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ THE DETAILED MEDICAL EXPLANATIONS:
Oh, like, some of you want the specifics on what's wrong. Doctor's told us this morning that his liver is 30-40% badly damaged, which is why they've been doing dialysis on him - to clean his blood. Since my dad has been stable and responding well, there's a chance it will get better. His lungs aren't affected as they originally thought. Also, the yellow in his skin and eyes (which we thought was jaundice) has begun disappearing because what was causing it, the bile, was getting blocked. They did an operation and have fixed that. His kidneys are practically shot, too... though we can always hope and pray that we'll see a miracle occur.

That's it for now. It's getting late and I'd like to see dad before visiting hours are over. Thank you all who have been asking Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati for his intercession (I believe he needs one more miracle to be officially declared a saint; I'm hoping we personally see this miracle happen), and for your continued prayers for dad and for my family. They are greatly appreciated from the bottom of my heart. And a special, THANK YOU to my friends who have been there for me and have checked up on me and dad on a daily basis. I love you all! :)

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless.

All We Can Do is Pray...

At this moment, my dad is in the hospital. Last night, after my new best friends (please, note the sarcasm), the Evangelicals, stopped by and prayed for my dad (again), dad asked us to please take him to the Emergency Room because he didn't think he would make it past the night if he stayed at home. I ended up having to stay home, though I wanted to go, because I'm the only one that can remain calm in these situations... and I had the task of notifying family members. We have a BIG family. Mom went to visit him again this morning and I had to stay home, yet again, but this time because I'm sick. I feel a little weak and fatigued so it was decided that I would stay at home, rest, and eat lentil soup (iron is good, so much lentil soup not so good after a while). I've also been fielding calls from my sister, cousins, family friends, etc.

So, I have good news and bad news. First, the bad news... Dad is so dehydrated and he's been sick for so long that his kidneys and stomach have now been affected. *deep breath* He's been losing a lot of blood as well (though I'll spare y'all the details) and mom had to sign a waiver saying that it was okay to allow them to give/add (I don't know the exact terminology) blood into his system. To be quite honest, it's not looking good.

The good news is that dad is now in good hands. His doctor is on top of things. They're controlling everything that's coming up. Dad's a fighter, too. I am sure I will cry as I write this but... my dad has said that he's going to fight this because of me. He said that he considers me his only child because I've been the only one that's been on top of everything and have been helping take care of him. It means a lot that he said that, and it makes me want to be that much stronger for him. Of course, I can't do that when I'm a puddle of tears, but I try. :) I'm grateful that my sister and brothers have FINALLY started reaching out to dad. My brothers are coming up on Saturday to see dad. I don't know if my sister's coming, seeing as she lives on the East coast, but I hope she does. Cousins have come down to L.A. today and we're expecting more tomorrow and for the next couple of days. I'm happy that the family is coming together.

It's a time like this that we're figuring out who our true friends are, too. I've had wonderful friends who call, text message, email, etc. just making sure we're okay and that we know that they're here for us. Then I have friends who are distancing themselves from me -- one of them is doing it out of jealousy. It's completely inappropriate at a time like this, but what can I do? Negativity will NOT affect me at this point. I'm completely shut off from the negative. I don't have time for it. I'm just praying for them.

I hate asking for prayers for my dad, but it's the only thing I can think of doing for him. I feel completely useless except when I'm praying for him. Anyways, he had tests done today so we'll know the extent of his illness probably tomorrow or the day after. I'm going to stay with him tomorrow morning through afternoon while mom works. At this point, I'm just asking for prayers that if, he's meant to get better, that the Lord gives him strength to endure this. If the Lord has other plans for him, then I'm praying that He gives us the strength to get through this. I won't give up hope for a miracle, though. I'm still asking Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati for his intercession -- mom's still asking Pope John Paul II for his intercession. All we can do right now is pray... just hold onto our faith, and pray.

That's all for now. Sorry it's such a downer. I just blog about this because it's easier to let everyone know this way and it's therapeutic. Thank you to everyone who continues to pray for us; it really means a lot to us.

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :)
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Final Exams; Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati's Intercession; And... Break!

First post as a 24 year-old. I actually do feel different (and I have to mention this because I've been asked) but I'm not entirely sure it's in a good way. I've been going through a sort of funk lately. I feel disjointed... not at all like myself. I haven't been acting very like myself, either. It's hard with everything that's going on. I've tried staying very optimistic but there are people who just LOVE to rain on my parade. One minute I'm okay, joking and acting normal (well, normal for me), and the next I'm completely bummed out because someone has to dampen my spirits. The whole thing has me on a roller coaster of emotions, which I hate. It's completely unhealthy, which is why I'm going to take a mini-vacation starting tonight. More on that later.

For everyone who is beginning their finals or about to take them, I say GOOD LUCK to y'all. I just did my English final this morning. We were supposed to do it next Monday and the professor acknowledged that she messed up the dates but she still made us get up early and do the final nearly a week early. A lot of my fellow classmates were on the verge of ganging up on her. I'm pretty sure she heard me say that we should protest. lol. Well, that's one less final I have to worry about. I have my final Speech assignment due tonight. My Philosophy of World Religions course (which, as I wrote for my final assignment, made me extremely proud to be Roman Catholic -- I'm in the right religion. lol) is having the final on Friday. My final exam will be for my Philosophy of Ethics course and that's next Monday. I will then hand in my pro-life/anti-abortion research paper. I combined the speech I wrote earlier in the semester against abortion and I added more things to it -- including snippets from mini interviews I did with various people. I'm very proud of it. :D It's too long to post it on here but I might add snippets of it at a later date. And for those of you who need an extra something... you can always pray for the intercession of St. Joseph of Cupertino (patron saint of exam takers; students) and St. Thomas Aquinas. Go again and click the link, it has the prayers you need. :D

Now onto something I'm going to ask y'all to help me out with. As I've written before, Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati has had a great, positive impact on me. Today (actually, at 5 P.M. PST), his niece, Wanda Gawronska, and the founder of FrassatiUSA, Christine Wohar, will be speaking on him on EWTN Live. Uh, I'm so watching it. lol. I still have the book reviews on the books his sister has written which I hope to post as soon as I finish my finals. So what exactly do I need help with? Well, I've decided to ask for Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati's intercession for my father. If we get the miracle, I am willing to report it and further the cause for his canonization. I've been thinking about it for some time now and something finally clicked to do it. So, if y'all can please help me out by praying for his intercession, I'd greatly appreciate it. The doctors are giving dad 8-9 months to live... and that's without the chemotherapy which they are delaying way too much. (I'm currently in a fight with them over the chemo which they are refusing to give him.) I just want my dad to be around long enough to walk me down the aisle when I get married (someday in the future...). If you're in, please let me know.

Alright, I think that's enough for now. Going back to my mini-vacation thing... except for online exams and assignments I have to do, I will be M.I.A. from the 'net. Sometimes I say that but then come back 2-3 days later. Not this time. I am serious about praying for dad so I am going to remove me from the online world (as well as giving up a few things I love for a couple of months) and just dedicating myself to prayer and reflection for the next week. I also need re-evaluate a couple of things (and friendships) in my life. I'm going to make the most of this time... and I'll be able to since I'm ready for my exams and therefore unstressed. I'll be back next Wednesday.

So, that's it. I'm going to go watch the Daily Mass and then Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati special on EWTN. :D As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D
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