Has anyone heard of the Lent of St. Michael which begins tomorrow (on the Assumption) and ends of the feast of St. Michael Archangel? I hadn't until today when a long-time online friend (who inspires major mama and vocation goals) said she was going to partake in it. As I am a very curious person, I asked her what it was about and she sent me this link.
For the tl;dr crowd: the gist is that this devotion was started by St. Francis of Assisi since he had a special devotion to both Our Lady and St. Michael Archangel. Since there are 40 days (excluding Sundays) between the feast of the Assumption and Sr. Michael's feast, it became like a second Lent. Just like the regular Lenten time, you pray and fast, only this time you do it in honor of Our Lady and St. Michael. During this time you "... are made mindful of the facts of our own resurrection on the Last Day and also of our subsequent Judgment" since St. Michael will be the one who will awaken the dead on the Last Day (Judgment Day).
As I am personally going through some confusing times and am trying to get my spiritual life back on track, I think this will be good for me. I don't know what I'm going to "fast" from quite yet but I still have a couple of hours to think about it. With the state of this country (and, really, the world in general) perhaps some of you will also be interested in partaking in this.
Anyway, just a heads up for y'all. Please let me know if you're going to do it as well. It wouldn't hurt, especially if you feel as if you need a "second chance" like I do.
I have less than two weeks to finish my novel and I still have to flesh it out a bit so... back to work!
I hope you're all having a lovely start of the week!
Went in for my annual physical exam today and I found out that I have a couple of health issues. One for certain and the others are possibilities. Either way, I was given medications, more blood was drawn today (for a number of things to be ruled out or pinpointed), and this new doctor is 100x more proactive and caring than the last two doctors I had over the last two years. I hope this is the start of a new chapter for me in which I am healthier because I've been having major issues for the past two years.
-- 2 --
I'm so grateful that the new doctor who saw me today wanted answers. She agreed with me that this whole stomach issues thing has gone on too long (other doctors wanted to just mask the symptoms with meds instead of really looking for the cause). I'm not angry at the last two doctors for waving off any concerns regarding foods and diets I might've had. Yes, they would either laugh or smile at me and dismiss my concerns or anything I would bring up (which was hurtful) but, hey, if my suffering and my offering up things over the past two years has helped anyone (or helped any soul get out of purgatory), it was worth it.
-- 3 --
I'm sure those who know what's going on with me are thinking to themselves "how are you still smiling and being optimistic?" but, really, what else can I do? I've seen so many friends in pain (physically and/or emotionally) this week that the "mama bear" instinct in me is in full swing. I don't care about what I'm going through right now. The one officially diagnosed thing can be fixed. I'm still full of love, hugs, and silliness. Even after today's news, I'm just not interested in dwelling on my issues. I guess I just realize that other people are worse off than I am and they need support more than I do so I'm here to give them my support. :)
-- 4 --
This week, I've seen so much love from friends... and I'm not entirely sure why. I've received some of the sweetest compliments and I've been hugged more in the past two weeks than I have all year (which I am not complaining about, lol). I hope a reason for this is because I'm making them smile. Seriously, if I had a nickel for every email, text, message, etc I received from friends about all the lousy things they've been going through, I could pay off my student loans. I'm just there to listen when someone needs it. If someone's ever done anything nice for you, pay it forward. :) I may be on a poor college student budget most of the time but my wealth comes from the love of my friends and I couldn't ask for more.
-- 5 --
Yesterday I went to the Solemnity of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary Vigil Mass and I had total fangirl moments. Fangirl moment #1: The new priest at our old home parish is very young (must be in his 30s) but he was rocking a black biretta. Fangirl moment #2: "smells and bells." I love the smell of incense and I love hearing the bells. Fangirl moment #3: Seminarian in the house and a whole bunch of dudes that gave me a "future seminarians" vibe. Yes! Fangirl moment #4: all-male alter servers (yes, one of those people). Fangirl moment #5: confession after Mass... and the lines were long despite there being two priests. Did I mention that the Mass was OF? I know! Loved it all.
-- 6 --
I'm currently re-reading the Anne of Green Gables series with my good friend (and rock star novel editor), Kiera. Serious question: do we ever get "too old" to read the AOGG series? I'm going to go with "no." I never read the series as a young girl but I've loved it in my 20s. If you haven't read it, go read it. Men, I'll give you a pass for this series... even though I think you should read them, especially if you have daughters. If you have daughters, I'd rather they read this series than Twilight. If you read this TO your daughter, you'll achieve "super dad" status. Just saying.
-- 7 --
I've had this song stuck in my head ever since I first heard it. I'm a sucker for these kinds of songs (... did you see all the songs I added to Lina's LC playlist or check out Lina's WTWC playlist?) Yes, I'm admittedly kind of (and by that I mean totally) a hopeless romantic so the song is right up my alley. Just wanted to share it with those of you who might want something lovely to listen to as you unwind from a hard week. :D
As most of you know, today is the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary. Today we commemorate the day that Our Blessed Mother's body was taken up to heaven by her son. If you didn't know, today is a Holy Day of Obligation (a.k.a. one of the non-Sunday days you are required to attend Mass)... but, unfortunately, I will have to miss Mass because of my anxiety. :(
I've had a lousy week of anxiety following a week or so of absolutely no anxiety whatsoever. I have a lot going on in my life (which can contribute to the stress) but I've been even more stressed in the past and have not had this reaction. It's bad. It's "waking up at 4:15 a.m. with a horribly anxious feeling all over and not being able to fall asleep again until nearly 6 a.m." bad. It's "confined to staying home all day" bad. It's "how the heck am I going to get a job with this darn illness?" bad.
This morning, when I woke up at 4:15 a.m. with horrible anxiety, I had a hard time falling back asleep. I couldn't even drive my mom to work in the morning -- and for me not to do that means I'm in pretty bad shape. She took a taxi to work and I stayed home and tried to sleep. I watched my favorite guilty pleasure TV show (which luckily airs at 5 to 6 a.m.) but it didn't help. Finally, I just thought about what day it was and how, wearing the Brown Scapular, I knew I had her protection. I started to visualize (a very important skill I learned in cognitive-behavioral therapy) Our Blessed Mother wrapping her mantle around me and holding me while I just cried and let it all out. Soon after, I fell asleep. While I still woke up feeling anxious (though it's less than this morning) and have continued feeling annoyingly anxious throughout the day, I know she's still holding me together.
While I was praying the morning part of the Little Office of the Blessed Virgin Mary (I have been doing the post-Vatican II version but will be switching over to the pre-Vatican II version soon), I had two thoughts pop up into my mind. First, that maybe this is all a blessing in disguise. There has to be a reason why I'm going through what I'm going through. I may not know what it is but I am sure God has bigger plans for me and this anxiety is just the cross I have to carry for as long as I need to. I remembered how, during my reversion six years ago (happened during the summer, too), I had bad (worse -- 3 times in a week in the Emergency Room bad) anxiety and how I decided to dedicate my life to my newly rediscovered Faith. Maybe I just need to go through this in order to help figure out what my new stage of life is. Like I've said, I have no idea what God has in store for me but I'll do what He wants me to. I feel a little embarrassed to admit this but, in the past, I've told God that if having anxiety is what it takes for me to get back on track with my Faith, that I would happily endure it. Maybe that's what's happening. Only God knows.
The second thought I had was actually two separate things that I am putting together. First, maybe I should spend a little more time in conversation with my adopted 'big brother' Bl. Pier Giorgio. I don't know why but I have a feeling that I should be asking him for help (through his intercession). Between his intercession as well as Our Blessed Mother's (and my own conversations with God), I can make sense of what my next step should be. Then I thought "Wow, I really, really want to read Interior Castle by St. Teresa of Avila"... but then I remembered that I still have two Tolkien books I need to read for review (and I'm way overdue for those) so I can't just yet. New motivation though. ;) Angelica was kind enough to send the book to me for my birthday last year but I still haven't had a chance to read it. Maybe it's time that I do it, before I move onto other books.
On this day, I will remember that I have my Heavenly Mother looking out for me. Though I cannot make it to Mass to celebrate the day on which she was reunited with her son, Our Lord Jesus Christ, I know she and God know that I want to be there. It took this day to remind myself that what I am currently suffering here on earth is only temporary and that, if I try to live a better life (hey, I'm human; I slip up more than I'd like), maybe one day I will join them in Heaven and all the suffering I went through on earth will seem like a distant memory.
Anyway, sorry... long rambling post. Sometimes (okay, most of the time) I think better when I write it all out... and I don't mind if you guys get a glimpse into this part of my life. :) I'm going to go drink some more tea and try to distract myself from this darn anxiety. :)
I hope y'all are having a great day. If there's anything I can pray for for you, please let me know. :)
