I absolutely hate missing Mass. Unfortunately, either the crazy weather or something has been preventing me from attending Mass regularly. That's what happens when you lack transportation. Sometimes it's been pleasantly nice outside, but cold enough to keep indoors (walking the two miles to and from Mass in the cold is very sometimes bad for me and I end up in major pain.) Today's culprit: my anxiety and my mother's flu.
Anyone who knows me knows that if one of my parents were to be sick, I'd give any outing to stay at home to take care of them. I did this with my dad when he was alive and I've done it with my mom for as long as I can remember. It's just in my nature to do this -- I love to take care of people when they're sick and/or unable to do something. There have been a couple of times where I still went to Mass even though one of my parents was sick... but that was when I had both of them in the house. Now that it's just mom and I, and considering how sick she was today, I decided to stay at home and make sure she was alright.
I'll admit that part of the decision was also, like I said, based on the fact that my anxiety's been a pain in the tush lately. It's not bad enough to keep me from Mass (if I had transportation) but I do feel weak enough to be unsure if I'd make the two mile walk. For those of you who didn't know: anxiety and depression is physically debilitating at times.
So, as much as I hate missing Mass, I am trying not to beat myself too much because it's not like I wanted to miss Mass. I loathe it. I confess it every time I do miss Mass (and every time the priest tells me that it wasn't a sin because it was out of my control.) I am going to make start offering up the missed Masses (and by subsequent frustration/sadness) to the souls in purgatory. Trust me, I've been known to openly weep in front of everyone when I can't go to Mass.
I have the option of watching Mass via EWTN en Español but sometimes it doesn't seem like enough. Any tips/suggestions on what to do when you (I) miss Mass? All are welcomed and appreciated.
Alright, I think that's all the (sort of) ranting I can do. lol.
As always, thanks for reading and God Bless.