Prayer Interruptions

Okay, so, I'm definitely going to be doing these blog posts at random times when I know I have time instead of a set time every day. Let's see how this experiment goes...

You know what I've noticed lately? That people automatically assume that you're doing something not prayer-related if they see you using your iPod touch or smartphone. I keep getting interrupted when doing the Liturgy of the Hours because I use the BrevMeum app. I guess people assume I'm wasting time on something else and that it's okay for them to interrupt whatever I'm looking at. (side note: I'm not even going to comment on how I rude I think this is in general.) I mean, it's understandable to assume that I may be wasting time on something trivial; a lot of people use for their tablets and/or smartphones for things other than prayer. However, some of us do use them for such purposes. 

I really want to get the Monastic Diurnal (as recommended for Benedictine oblates) so that I can get something physical to hold -- that isn't on a screen -- to do the LOTH but it's not cheap. Yes, I know I can get it on Amazon for a lower price. However, in recent weeks I've decided to buy directly from monasteries, convents, and authentically Catholic websites as the money goes straight to them instead of a giant corporation who may be donating some of the money to Planned Parenthood or another questionable place. Yes, that's why I linked the Monastic Diurnal to Clear Creek Abbey, home to awesome Benedictine monks.

Also, I don't know about anyone else but it becomes really hard for me to concentrate on my prayer once again after I get interrupted midway through the prayer. I simply cannot get back into that laser-focus concentration on what I'm reading/praying... and then I get annoyed at the person/interruption. I know they usually don't mean to do it but it's an annoyance I need to work on. Does anyone have a similar problem? Has anyone been able to overcome this problem? Please let me know any tips you may have!

Not much to report on today, beyond the things I talked about...

Wait, no... one cool thing: I received a message about how I have become a founding member to an amazing apostolate started at my home parish. I don't know if I'm able to talk about it but it's something that, as soon as I heard about it, I knew I had to join in. I'll try to see if I can mention if -- I'll ask the person who started the apostolate -- and write about it in a future post. Let's just say that it involves prayer and that I will never know the end results until I (God willing) get to Heaven.

Okay, now I have nothing else to add. lol. The social media fast is going okay. I still don't miss it at all... although Facebook is starting to send me all these emails about how I'm missing out on *this person's* post or *that person's* video. Sorry, Facebook, but this girl is not experiencing any FOMO. Twitter's emails have also begun but they feel less needy. The only issue I'm having is that I still occasionally (accidentally) type in Twitter or Facebook and am greeted by the home page, asking for my username and password before I realize what I've done. "Old habits die hard" indeed!

My phone doesn't get used very much these days. I have it on "Do Not Disturb" or completely off most of the time. To be quite honest, only 3 people have been added to my "favorites" list so that their calls and/or messages can get through... and one of them is my mother. I wasn't kidding when I said I was going to become somewhat of an urban hermit this Lent. Also, I can't believe the battery lasts me all day, especially since it's not getting drained by the Instagram app (my time-waster of choice) or checking social media. I'm still a couple of days from the official "break-up" with it but this trial separation is going well. For now. lol.

Prayer is going well... except for the whole interruption and having to continue later when I can focus again. I added the same St. Therese book I've used for Lent is about 2009-2010 on a whim yesterday. I figured that since she's playing such a big part in my Lenten plans this year, I might as well go for it.

I know Lent has only just begun but, I am curious, has anyone had to remind themselves (more than once) to stop and not fall back into whatever it is that you've given up for Lent? If you're also on social media fast, are you missing it yet?

Alright, it's 6 p.m. I just prayed the Angelus and now I'm going to go pray Vespers in both the MeumBrev app and the Little Office of the Blessed Virgin Mary. Yes, I pray both during the day.

I hope you all have a lovely day!

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :)

What Happened During My Divine Office Experiment

Confession: I got sidetracked by my brother's visit which is why I didn't blog sooner. Sorry!

Ah, the Liturgy of the Hours. My former spiritual director thought it would be a good match for me and recommended I try it out. I have tried it... and it's never stuck. I got back into the rhythm of driving Mom to work in the wee morning hours so I figured that since I was up from 4 a.m. until 6-7 p.m. (and then up again at 9-10 p.m. to do nighttime prayers), I could get almost all of the hours in. 

I know I have the luxury of sleeping when I want and doing what I want with (most) of my time. I get up at 4 a.m. to drive Mom to work. Unable to fall back asleep immediately after, I have the chance to pray in the peace and quiet that accompanies the pre-dawn hours. There are no distractions... there is no noise... there is no worry about anything else. Sounds ideal, right?

Let me tell you why it didn't work for me as I was doing it: I got too overwhelmed.

I'm one of those "go big or go home" people. Moderation is hard for me; it's not something I was taught as a child and am having trouble with practicing as an adult. It works out in some situations but backfires in others... and this was one of those times when it backfired. Long story short: I got so caught up in doing the LOTH and the Little Office of the Blessed Virgin Mary (which I love and have been doing for a couple of years now) that I started to sacrifice sleep when it finally hit (the sleepiness, I mean).

I kept saying, "No, I'll never get another chance to pray like this again, especially if God has a husband and family in store for me in the future. If this is going to stick, I need to get in the habit of it now. Besides, I want to be a Benedictine oblate and this is one of the things that's recommended we do." I thought that if I couldn't get through it, even for a couple of weeks, I would fail at being a Benedictine oblate. Oh, poor, sweet, not-too-bright Emmy. lol.

Okay, here's what I learned during this experiment: my perfectionist tendencies made the Divine Office completely overwhelming. Why? Because I tried to hit every hour, on the hour, on top of the other devotions I have (Little Office, Rosary, and the Angelus). It was too much, too soon. I didn't wade into the Divine Office; I took dove off into the deepest part forgetting I had a (metaphorically) weak limbs that couldn't help me to break the surface again. "Faithpalm," anyone?

This is what I decided to do: this week, I've let myself take a break from continuing the LOTH as I try to catch up on sleep. Okay, I don't actually have a choice when it comes to this because I've already missed two nights of prayers (Rosary included one of those days) because I'm so exhausted that I just sleep through the alarms from 6-7 p.m. until 3-4 a.m. the next morning. I need to sleep because without sleeping I cannot focus on the prayers; they just blur together and I go through the motions without actually focusing on what I've just read. Depending on how the rest of this week goes, I may also take the following week to try to get back into my regular sleeping schedule and then try the Divine Office once again.

New game plan: 

• Continue with the Little Office... but I'm not setting my alarms to hit every hour (6 a.m., 9 a.m., noon, 3 p.m., 6 p.m., and 9 p.m.). Instead, I have my usual alarm at 8-9 a.m. I'll try to pray Matins and Lauds (and depending on the hour I wake up, Prime or Terce) when I wake up. 
• Once I have that down (again), incorporate the Divine Office whilst reminding myself that as a future oblate, I'm not required to pray ALL the hours. I am a laywoman and I have things to do; though, ideally, I would like to be able to do all the hours. This one will be hard because of my perfectionist tendencies.

Has anyone else fallen into a similar pattern with the LOTH? Does anyone have any advice of how best to go about incorporating it into daily life... and/or not feeling bad about having "so much time" yet not being able to pray all the hours? Your suggestions would be most welcomed!

Alright, that's it for now. I have several days of emails to catch up on and want to get to them while everything is nice and quiet at Casa Emmy.

I hope you're all having a lovely start of the week!

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

Pre-Dawn Hours and the Angelus

Lately, I've discovered two very important things:

1) I love the fact that I'm up at during the pre-dawn hours. There's something so beautiful about watching the world change from dark to light; about seeing the first rays of light of the day peeking over the local mountain range. I've always loved it but I've become fonder of it recently. This is how I learned that much more of an early bird than a night owl. Who knew?!...

and...

2) I may never give up praying the Angelus at all 3 times a day, ever again (barring circumstances out of my control).

The Angelus is a new prayer/devotion for me. I was first introduced to it by the FSSP priest who serves as the spiritual adviser for the young adult group I'm a part of in our FSSP church community. During a field trip we had -- which was also my first time meeting with the group -- visiting a local California Mission, the bells rung at noon and he gathered us together and led us in praying the Angelus. It was such a beautiful moment (one of many during the trip) but I never really picked it up until about a week or two ago.

I honestly don't remember how it began. I think I was searching for the "correct" times for the Divine Office/Liturgy of the Hours (e.g., "Sext" for noon, etc.) when I stumbled into the Angelus again. I remembered it from the trip and decided to read more about it.

Did you know that laity used to stop what they were doing to pray 3 Hail Marys in honor of the Incarnation when they heard the church bells ringing (which signaled a time for prayer for the monastic community)? This was done during "simpler" times and there are few places that still do it, most notably the Vatican and traditional convents and monasteries.

"Well," I thought to myself after reading about it. "I can't get back to sleep after getting up at 4 a.m. and I don't really have much to do in these pre-dawn/early morning hours so I'll give it a try." (side note for new readers: as the sole driver in the house, I drive Mom to work at 4 a.m. to save on Uber/Lyft. That's why I'm up that early.)

I saw that most people who take up this devotion pray it at least twice a day -- at noon and 6 p.m. -- but that it was traditionally prayed 3 times a day; at 6 a.m., noon, and 6 p.m. "Okay, I can do that..." and I have done that every day since. I've even gotten up at 6 a.m. (my iPod touch alarm is set for that time) on days that my mother has off because there is something about it that has enriched my prayer life and my life in general.

I don't know how else to describe it other than feeling a peace when I pray it every day, 3 times a day. I'm very fortunate to have the flexibility to pray it that often and I certainly am not taking this luxury for granted because I don't know what God has in store for me, in terms of my vocation. I don't know if I'll be able to do this for the rest of my life or not but I'm so grateful for the opportunity to do so.

Does anyone else do this? Perhaps you may not get to pray all three but perhaps one or even two of them? I'd love to hear if you do since I personally don't know of anyone else and I'd love to hear others' experiences praying it!

Anyway, I just wanted to share this and ask if anyone else has done/does it as well.

This is just part one of a series of "how these new (to me) prayers and devotions have transformed my life." Like I teased in the previous post, this blog is taking a new direction to coincidence with the personal changes I've gone through recently so... expect more of these "brief" posts, written more frequently. :)

I hope you all have a lovely start of the week!

As always, thank you for reading and God bless!

*Gasp* There's Life Offline!

I have been Facebook free since Saturday and I honestly don't miss it one bit. I tried opening up Spotify today and it automatically reactivated my Facebook account... against my wishes. I immediately deactivated it again because, really, I've been so happy without that darn thing. I'm sharing this little fact in case any of you have your FB profiles connected to Spotify and want to deactivate your FB accounts later on. I'm going to have to create a separate account (and, sigh, start over on my novel playlists) but I'd rather do that than keep Facebook up.

Well, what do you know? There's life offline! I know. I can't believe it either. ;) I actually made a "to-do" list for this month to make sure I always had something to do at all times. I'm the kind of person who doesn't "do" being lazy (hey, time wasting online was still doing something, lol) so I am glad I gave myself a list of things to do. At last count, there were 48 items on the list and 17 had been crossed off. Of course the list will grow as I cross things off of the list and find new things to add to it.

One thing I learned from my time away from most social networks (I've been spending less time on Twitter, too) and from making my list is that my priorities prior to the change were horribly out of whack. I was spending less time in prayer, less time doing things I really needed to do (I'm playing catch-up on a couple of things right now), and more time procrastinating and, well, fitting the stereotype of the lazy Millennial. While I actually did work and ran the household (errands, budget, care of, etc), I was still not taking advantage of the precious time I currently have. After all, this is the first time I've had time to myself and this won't last forever if my vocation is of wife and mother. Making my list and really spending time offline has put things back into perspective for me.

I've added prayer to my day in the form of praying both the Little Office of the Blessed Virgin Mary AND the Liturgy of the Hours. I was previously only doing the Little Office but I have found that I get the most out of doing both. Once I get my schedule back on track (sleeping hours are currently messed up) and can do the two without scrambling on time, I will add the Rosary and Chaplet of the Divine Mercy back into my routine. With the amount of free time I currently have, I can definitely do it. It's just going to take some getting used to. I've already figured out that I can do the Rosary and Chaplet while driving every day but I won't do it all at once. Baby steps. :)

What else have I achieved in 4 days of no Facebook and little time online?
- Hung up curtain rods and heat blocking curtains
- Written and mailed a couple of snail mail letters
- Paid off bills and student loan either on time or super early
- Really gotten in touch with friends I was "in touch" with on FB
- Done a couple of favors for neighbors
- Helped mom achieve something she's talked about for years
- etc etc.

It doesn't seem like much but it's little victories that remind me that, like cable (which I don't miss either; 5 months cable-free!), Facebook was completely unnecessary. I'm really much happier and stress-free, which was the whole point of the deactivation. I'm not saying that I won't miss it at all but I definitely have things that remind me that I made the right decision.

So that's my little update on how things are going sans Facebook. It's still early but so far so good and, bonus!, I've gotten a chance to use hammers and screwdrivers, which I love. Yes, I not-so-secretly love assembling things and doing home projects. Okay, and maybe I love tinkering around the car as well. I am my father's daughter after all. ;)

That's it for now. I'm trying to stay offline as much as possible, especially with my anxiety not being the best for the past week and a half. I'm going to try to come up with three things for tomorrow's "What I Learned Wednesday" post (yes, I am still doing those; it's on my list) and try to cross at least three more things off of my list before I hit the hay. ;)

I hope y'all had a great weekend and are having a fab week thus far. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D