Good vs. Evil Dreams.

Yes, it's another edition of "What Crazy Dreams is Emmy Having Lately?" I've mentioned several dreams on this blog before. Seriously just search "dreams" in this blog and see how many entries you come up with. I've devoted entire blog posts about them. You'd be surprised how many comments I've gotten about the dream of the end of the world, which I wrote about last year. I haven't written about any lately but I am still having them... but they're now mainly about a struggle between good and evil. I've lost count of how many I've had that has centered on a personal struggle with the devil. Sometimes I have help from saints like St. Benedict of Nursia or St. Teresa of Avila (I believe St. Pio of Pietrelcina also appeared a couple of weeks ago). Lately it's just been myself against evil.

A couple of days ago I had a dream where I made the devil really ticked off for saying the Blessed Virgin Mary's name out loud. I was in the backseat of a car apparently invisible to the driver and front passenger. I knew the driver (she's a former friend) so I didn't really think much until I heard her say that she was planning on doing something to make sure I had an accident/got hurt. As soon as I heard this, I jumped forward and grabbed her forehead and started praying for her. I prayed one Our Father, one Hail Mary, and one Glory Be at first. I noticed she was squirming when I got to the Hail Mary. The second round of prayers, I heard her voice change and her hands shaking. As soon as I got to the Hail Mary and said "Hail Mary, full of grace", I heard a loud grunt followed by a really peeved voice saying "Shut up. Don't say HER name." I replied with a "Oh, yeah? Well. HAIL MARY FULL OF GRACE...", continued with the prayer, and kept repeating it until the girl (who apparently was possessed) lay there peacefully. During the prayers, though, I saw the devil who was in agony because I kept saying the Blessed Virgin Mary's name over and over again. He was REALLY mad at me, but I didn't care. I saw that he had talons that kept growing every time I said her name. I don't know why I had the dream, I just did.

That's just an example of a type of dream I've had lately. I've had a couple where St. Benedict of Nursia has physically appeared to protect me in my struggles against Satan. (One sticks out where, I believe, he placed his hand on my shoulder as I kept praying.) If it's not me actively fighting against evil, it's me getting "messages" to help stop two particular things which I can't mention because they aren't suitable for my under 18 readers. I've had two very vivid dreams where I've gotten the message from God (yes, I've dreamt Him specifically saying these things to me) to look at what these things are doing and to do something to help stop it. In one dream, God placed me in a city where there was sin EVERYWHERE. The entire place was red and black. I heard God say (and I'm going to paraphrase) "Look at everything here. This is all unacceptable and very corruptible" and something about helping "making it go away." A few weeks ago, again, I dreamt that I was fighting against someone because they were trying to spread these things to others. All I remember was feeling angry and disgusted, and knowing that God was upset and hurt by everything that was happening. I don't know why I am having these dreams. It could be because, yes, in real life I am completely disgusted by these things, but beyond that I don't know. It's not like I go to bed thinking about these things.

Where did my pleasant dreams of me talking to saints and priests go? I love those dreams. I miss my dreams of holding golden crucifixes, of being in a garden and in an all white Church dome while seeing many saints just walking around, talking to each other. I would love to have more dreams of the Child Jesus smiling and talking to me, or of having the Blessed Virgin Mary and Jesus Christ take turns pull me up and giving me hugs. I don't know what's going on. I do feel like I should really go talk to Fr. Leo about this, though. (Fr. John is no longer at my parish or else I would go to him. He loved my saint dreams. "Better than the movies" he would say.) Does anyone have as many dreams as I do... or as often? I don't know... it's all weird, but sometimes in a cool way. :D

Okay, well, that's it for today. Yes, another fairly short entry. :) I woke up feeling weak today (literally. I feel like I can't even hold myself up properly) so I'm going to try to rest as much as I can. Since it's St. Catherine of Siena's feast day today, I'm going to try to work on my novel a bit today. And, for the record, the female protagonist in the novel is named Catalina ("Lina" for short)... which is the Spanish version of the name Catherine. That was no coincidence. ;)

Hope everyone is doing well and staying healthy. :D As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D

P.S. Thanks to Claire from Musings of a Twentysomething who has helped me with my mantilla problem. :D I'll let you know if it works for me.

Back from Break; Nomination; Fr. John on CNN; TLM in L.A.?!

Sorry it's taken me a while to post anything. I took a couple of days to get my homework out of the way early, as well as pray and meditate about a few things. And, no, I don't mean meditate in the crossed legged, "Ohm" way. I found myself so wrapped up in my school work and what's going on with my parents (both are sick and it's a bit of a stressor for me), that I was sort of losing myself. I'm glad I can recognize when that begins to happen so I can stop it as soon as I can. Even though I was attending Mass more often, I wasn't praying as much. I decided to take a break to get myself back to where I was. It was a little hard for me the first two days because I still focused on school (a lot of deadlines) but I found time to do some thinking and just begin to take care of myself. Ironically, it took a really stupid moment (don't ask; it's quite embarrassing) yesterday for me to really get clear answers on everything that I wanted to think about. I was actually going to take an additional 2 days to just relax but I was asked to come back by a couple of people for various reasons. I'm definitely planning on taking a day or two days (per week) to do what I did this week. I've enjoyed not having to worry about emails and everything else online.

One of the things I was surprised to see when I came back online... this blog's nomination for a 2009 Cannonball Award for "Best New Kid on the Block" on The Crescat. I will refrain from making any New Kids on the Block jokes... though I am very tempted to. lol. Though I've technically had this blog for over 12 months, it wasn't until about June of last year that this blog was read by people outside my circle of friends. I guess that makes me "new"? lol. Either way, thank you to whoever nominated the blog! :D I greatly appreciate it. I don't think I'll win (LOLSaints is pretty funny :D) but that's okay. :D It makes me happy to know that people actually enjoy this blog... and that they actually visit more than once. lol. I've always nominated a few blogs myself on that list (Jesus Goes to Disney World, Fallible Blogma, Per Fidem, and A Maiden's Wreath you are all awesome and need to be recognized for it). Oh, and btw, I've noticed most people refer to this blog as Catholic Nerd Writer, and not Journey of a Catholic Nerd Writer. Should I drop the "Journey of" part? Comments are welcomed.

Oh, and another thing I was happy to see was Fr. John (my priest) being recognized for everything he's been doing for the parish. Just this past Sunday he held a meeting for all English speaking parishioners to suggest things we wanted/needed for the parish. There an article at CNN (as well as an upcoming story on the channel -- being aired on their "American Morning" program on April 30th) regarding his help to those in the community who are in danger of having their homes foreclosed. Though I do not (and have not) live(d) in or near Pacoima, I think what Fr. John is doing is above and beyond what a lot of other priests would do. It really makes me, and quite possibly others, really think about being more altruistic and really putting God's words into action. *happy sigh* I LOVE our parish priests (and have mentioned all three numerous times in this blog) and the whole community of Mary Immaculate because of the wonderful people that are part of it. This is why I'm willing to get up super early and then make that drive to it. There are a few parishes closer by but I've been going there since I was in my mama's belly and now you can see why. :D And, even better news, we're an Extraordinary Form parish. :D

And while I'm on the topic of Masses, I was recently informed by numerous people (yes, I do read your emails even when I don't update this blog :D) that there will be a Traditional Latin Mass in West Hollywood on May 1st. I had to pinch myself because these Masses are becoming rare within the Los Angeles Archdiocese. My parents will more than likely NOT want to go (*sigh* I'm still working on them...) but I have a feeling that a good friend and fellow Philosophy of Ethics classmate will want to go with me. If not, I think I can probably find someone to go with. (Luckily, I'm close enough to St. Victor's to take a cab if I end up having no ride). If you are in the L.A. area, or are willingly to take a drive up/down here, you can find info on Joe's blog. I'll be honest and say that I've NEVER attended a TLM (only seen it on TV) so I'm very excited about it. :D

Alright, that's enough for now. I have a lot to write but will give it in small doses. lol. That, and I have to go pick up my new glasses at the optometrist. lol.

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D
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I Caved: Twilight Review; Must Watch!

Alright, so... I caved and I went to see Twilight. I usually don't like to get caught up in fan frenzy/mania of some franchises but I'd heard really good things about it, especially from my Christian and Catholic friends, that I decided to check it out. Also, this was a test for me because it was going to be the first time since I got sick that I've gone to the movies. I'm happy to report that my anxiety last about a minute or so. :D

Anyway, what can I say that other Catholic bloggers haven't said? Nothing really. I think a lot of people covered various topics/themes from the film/books in other blogs. I will just give my impressions of the movie... sort of a mini review.

The one that I loved most was that Edward was actually a gentleman throughout (most of) the movie. Granted, he "died" when society was different and men were actual gentlemen who opened the doors up for their dates, who willingly went to meet the girls' father, and introduced her to his family. Now? Yeah... not so much. I've only had one guy do that... and he's the one that's stuck around in my life the longest. Point being: there are not enough gentlemen in this world and it's a shame!

There was a scene where Bella and Edward could've easily gotten carried away but didn't... because Edward didn't want to. I won't go into more detail but I would like to point out a post Fr. Austin Murphy wrote on this scene and about true love waiting at his Jesus Goes to Disney World blog. I highly recommend you read it because, especially after seeing the film, I completely agree with what he wrote.

I have to admit that Bella and Edward's relationship reminded me of one that is near and dear to my heart. I think the main reason it reminded me of this particular relationship (and I really don't want to say who it is but let's just say it involves myself) is because Edward is so protective of Bella and wants what's in her best interest, and that's how it is in this relationship I've reminded of. He doesn't do or say things to her because he's selfish and he wants to do it. Edward places Bella first... all out of pure love. Okay, so he wants to kill her because her scent is intoxicating... and that's where our similarities end (thank goodness! lol!). How many of you can say that you've had to restrain yourself (either physically, saying something verbally, or even denying yourself something you wanted) because of the love you had for that person? Doesn't have to be romantic love, it can be familial or platonic. Now, THAT is what love is all about, kids. Oh, and getting a "hey... I actually liked this movie!" from your picky (extremely picky when it comes to movies) date is not half bad either. Haha!

Watching this movie from a "This is just a movie, Edward isn't real... snap out of it, girl!" point of view really helps show you things you'd otherwise miss if you were in a "fan-girl" sort of mode.

I won't write much more because I realized I've gotten carried away in my last couple of posts (with the length) so I will just give a couple of announcements... all you must watch! :D

First off, Fr. John (from my parish) is going to be interviewed on CNN between 9 and 10 a.m. tomorrow morning. Wish I would've posted this sooner but I was out almost all day. So, go check it out if you can. He's being interviewed on something that he's doing for the Catholic community, especially those in L.A.

Second: Remember my review of Hear My Voice (which, btw, would be a great Christmas present for any Catholic kids you might know)? Well, the author, Jonathan Stampf, was nice enough to let me know that he will be interviewed on Catholic TV on January 9th. He will be talking about his book (you can find the updated links to it -- and the new coloring page -- on the left side panel under "recommendations"). I hope you can watch it. And, if you're like me and don't have Catholic TV on your cable/satellite provider (darn Time Warner Cable!), I believe you can watch it on their website.

Alright, I won't keep you from enjoying the rest of your weekend. I expect to write at least 2 more posts this week... especially since it'll be this blog's 1 year anniversary on Christmas Day. :D I can't believe it's been a year already! Wow. :D Anyhoo... I will shut up now. lol. As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D
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Best Day Ever!; Participating in Mass; Bon Voyage!

Raise your hand if you've had the best day ever. *raises both hands and waves them around, excitedly*. Haha. I'm such a dork. :D Yes, I've had an amazing day, THANK YOU, GOD! I honestly don't know what I did to deserve such a fantastic day but I thank God for giving me a day like today. After helping my parents out with financial issues (seriously, I cannot say "No" to them), they surprised me by taking me to a soccer shop where they sell jerseys and whatnot from all the clubs all over the world -- including those of my favorite teams. Can we say WHOOOO?! lol. As soon as we walked in, I spotted the Liverpool jerseys. Seriously, I don't know how but I spotted them within 30 seconds on being in the store. Haha. Unfortunately, they didn't have any ladies jerseys (either old or the newer ones). Bummer. They did have men's jerseys and stuff but I wanted a ladies one. AND they didn't have any of the players names in the back. I think I'm going to save up to order a jersey from the official club website... so I can get Daniel Agger's name and number on the back (Agger 5). I think Dad wanted to get a Spain jersey but didn't. Mom surprised me by buying me an official Liverpool crested cap, though. They had scarves and other things but I'd prefer the cap. It's an LFC thing, it's red, and it blocks out the sun (I HATE getting tanned) so it all works out for the best. lol.

After my little "SQUEE!" moment at the soccer shop (so many things, to little time), we went to Mass. It was Fr. John's first Mass at our parish so it was special. We got there like half an hour earlier than usual but it was okay. It gave us a chance to get one of the best seats. Several minutes into the Mass, this man walks towards my mom and I (who were the only ones who went to Mass; Dad refused again *sigh*) and asks us if we want to take the Altar Cloth up to the altar and put it on there. I was like "What? ME?!" Mom was so into it, she pushed me to go. Haha. Now, you have to remember that typically, I am like "NOOOO!" about these things because of my anxiety. But, I thought to myself that this would be a special thing that I could do (and with my mom no less); to have more of an active participation during Mass. I agreed to do it and when we got the okay, we walked up to the altar and got it all set up for the Eucharist. I have to admit, my heart was pounding at first (and said a silent prayer to St. Dymphna) because I HATE being the center of attention. HATE IT. Why do you think I stopped performing? lol. But, anyway, I was happy and honored to have done it (and, look ma, no anxiety! WHOOO! lol). I sure picked a good day to get dolled up. lol. This was the first time I've gotten really dressed up (heels included) for Mass in a long time. Usually I feel so physically horrible (or really anxious) so I'm not worried about what I wear (though I do make an effort to look nice) but, for some reason, I woke up wanted to get all dressed up and I'm glad I did. lol. So, yay! Mass was a little more special to me than usual. :D

Also, after Mass, this woman who used to be our neighbor over 14 years ago saw me and she came right up and hugged me. I was like "Uh... do I know you?" because I didn't recognize her until the light bulb went off in my head. Ironically, I had just asked my dad if he remembered the lady and her daughters last Tuesday, after the Earthquake, because they lived here during the big one in 1994. I remember that my dad got the cars out of the garage and the two little girls and I slept in the car (the earthquake happened at 4:30 a.m.) until the sun came up. I had no idea they attended our parish so it was lovely to see old friends again. I got so many hugs, they'll probably last me a long time. lol.

ACK! Barcelona is playing against Chivas de Guadalajara (Mexican club) and I want to go watch it. I didn't write as fast as I wanted. But, before I go, I should mention that I am going to be going out of the country (YES!!!!) next weekend for a few days so if you don't get an update from me, that's why. I hope to take many pictures... as many as my dinky little memory card will let me take. lol. I do plan on visiting churches from the city/country I'll be visiting so watch out for those.

Alright, well, I guess that's all. Thanks for reading and God Bless. :D
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