St. Cecilia Novena, Day Two

DAY TWO
Lord, have mercy on us.
Christ, have mercy on us.
Lord, have mercy on us. Christ hear us.
Christ, graciously hear us.

God the Father of heaven,
Have mercy on us.
God the Son, Redeemer of the world,
Have mercy on us.
God the Holy Spirit,
Have mercy on us.
Holy Trinity, one God,
Have mercy on us.

Holy Mary, Mother of God,
Pray for us. (repeat after each line)
St. Cecilia,
St. Cecilia, wise virgin,
St. Cecilia, whose heart burned with the fire of divine love,
St. Cecilia, apostle by your zeal and charity,
St. Cecilia, who converted your spouse and procured for him the crown of martyrdom,
St. Cecilia, who by your pleadings moved the hearts of pagans, and brought them into the true
Church,
St. Cecilia, who did unceasingly see your guardian angel by your side,
St. Cecilia, who mingled your voice with the celestial harmonies of the virgins,
St. Cecilia, who by your melodious accents celebrated the praises of Jesus,
St. Cecilia, illustrious martyr of Jesus Christ,
St. Cecilia, who during three days suffered most excruciating torments,
St. Cecilia, consolation of the afflicted,
St. Cecilia, protectress of all who invoke you,
St. Cecilia, patroness of holy canticles,
St. Cecilia, special patroness and advocate of all singers, musicians, authors, and students,

We salute you, O Virgin, who gave your blood for the defense and faith of Jesus Christ.

Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world,
Spare us, O Lord.
Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world,
Graciously hear us, O Lord.
Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world,
Have mercy on us.

God glorified St. Cecilia,
And He crowned her virtues.

Let us pray, O Eternal God, who gave us in the person of St. Cecilia, a powerful protectress, grant that after having faithfully passed our days like herself, in innocence and holiness, we may one day attain the land of beatitude, where in concert with her, we may praise you and bless you forevermore in eternity. Amen.

Hymn
Let the deep organ swell the lay
In honor of this festive day.
Let the harmonious choirs proclaim
Cecilia’s ever blessed name.

Let the harmonious choirs proclaim
Cecilia’s ever blessed name.

Cecilia with a two-fold crown,
Adorned in heaven we pray look down,
Upon thy fervent children here
And harken to their humble prayer.

Let the harmonious choirs proclaim
Cecilia’s ever blessed name.

-------------------------------------

St. Cecilia Novena, Day One

Raise your hand if you did not see these novena posts coming. lol.

I do a couple of novenas on the blog per year. It's been three years since I've done one to St. Cecilia so it's overdue. If you don't know my St. Cecilia story, don't worry... you will on her feast day. ;)

I know a number of you are musicians (or, at the very least, love singing) so here is the novena to the patroness of musicians and poets... and wordless prayer. :D

I got this novena from the Dominican Sisters of St. Cecilia in Nashville.

DAY ONE
Lord, have mercy on us.
Christ, have mercy on us.
Lord, have mercy on us. Christ hear us.
Christ, graciously hear us.

God the Father of heaven,
Have mercy on us.
God the Son, Redeemer of the world,
Have mercy on us.
God the Holy Spirit,
Have mercy on us.
Holy Trinity, one God,
Have mercy on us.

Holy Mary, Mother of God,
Pray for us. (repeat after each line)
St. Cecilia,
St. Cecilia, wise virgin,
St. Cecilia, whose heart burned with the fire of divine love,
St. Cecilia, apostle by your zeal and charity,
St. Cecilia, who converted your spouse and procured for him the crown of martyrdom,
St. Cecilia, who by your pleadings moved the hearts of pagans, and brought them into the true
Church,
St. Cecilia, who did unceasingly see your guardian angel by your side,
St. Cecilia, who mingled your voice with the celestial harmonies of the virgins,
St. Cecilia, who by your melodious accents celebrated the praises of Jesus,
St. Cecilia, illustrious martyr of Jesus Christ,
St. Cecilia, who during three days suffered most excruciating torments,
St. Cecilia, consolation of the afflicted,
St. Cecilia, protectress of all who invoke you,
St. Cecilia, patroness of holy canticles,
St. Cecilia, special patroness and advocate of all singers, musicians, authors, and students,

We salute you, O Virgin, who gave your blood for the defense and faith of Jesus Christ.

Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world,
Spare us, O Lord.
Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world,
Graciously hear us, O Lord.
Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world,
Have mercy on us.

God glorified St. Cecilia,
And He crowned her virtues.

Let us pray, O Eternal God, who gave us in the person of St. Cecilia, a powerful protectress, grant that after having faithfully passed our days like herself, in innocence and holiness, we may one day attain the land of beatitude, where in concert with her, we may praise you and bless you forevermore in eternity. Amen.

Hymn
Let the deep organ swell the lay
In honor of this festive day.
Let the harmonious choirs proclaim
Cecilia’s ever blessed name.

Let the harmonious choirs proclaim
Cecilia’s ever blessed name.

Cecilia with a two-fold crown,
Adorned in heaven we pray look down,
Upon thy fervent children here
And harken to their humble prayer.

Let the harmonious choirs proclaim
Cecilia’s ever blessed name.

-----------------------------

The End of the SLP vs Theology Roller Coaster Ride

Your eyes don't deceive you, this is an actual (new) blog post. Hooray! lol. Sorry about the almost two week "cone of silence." I had a couple of major exams to do and last week was my busiest week of the semester (I lost track of how many assignments were due in the span of 4 days) so I spent my week studying, finishing my research paper, and completing the rest of my assignments. To say that I'm mentally exhausted at this point would be somewhat accurate. I was actually much more tired at the end of last week but I have a very easy week this week so I'm getting my second wind, academia-wise.

I had some major decisions to make during the past two weeks, mainly having to do with academic and career paths. As many of you know, I've been considering finishing out this semester and leaving the COMD program because of how stressful it's been and how it's affected my health. My weight is back down to the underweight range and the anxiety I worked hard to get under control over the summer has returned. It's just not a pretty picture. The anxiety has been manageable (thanks be to God) but I'm not sure how much longer I'll be able to keep it from turning into a full blown panic attack.

I'll admit, I had a good cry two weekends ago. I was so overwhelmed and I felt so pressured that I felt I had reached my breaking point. I couldn't listen to the recorded lecture of a particular professor without crying. I'd been bottling up the majority of my stress for so many weeks that I just needed the release... and my usual method of release is to have a good cry. I cried, went to bed early, and woke up feeling better. I think the reason for that was because I decided to leave everything in God's hands.

Have you ever worked so hard on something (giving it more than you've ever given anything else) to have that thing not work out for you? That's kind of the boat I'm in right now. I've worked hard in this program (sometimes not eating and/or sleeping because of how much needs to be done) and to be barely passing the courses is kind of a blow. Unfortunately, I'm not the only one in this program who is going through it. I've spoken to a number of my classmates and they're also experiencing this crushing blow to their self-esteems (their words, not mine) during the semester. Many of us want to leave the program because of issues we're having either with professors or the classes themselves. Please pray for us all!

... and now I've gotten off track. The decision of leaving everything in God's names and not worrying about things is taking a lot of pressure and stress off of me. I had my chat with Him in Adoration last Friday and I'm at peace with having a plan B and a plan C in case the SLP path doesn't work out for me. After all, I'm not going to be doing what I want but what He wants of me; His will, not mine.

Plan A is to continue (and finish) this program if I pass this semester... and I'm going to need a lot of prayers as I heard one course next semester is the hardest in the program. Upon completion the program, I'll be finishing the rest of my fieldwork hours (a total of 110 are necessary in the state of CA) through an accredited school and then applying for my license as soon as I finish them. I'll work for a little bit before applying to grad school for my Theology M.A.

Plan B: If I don't pass a class or two this semester, I'll be leaving the COMD program at USU. It's not worth the stress or the $ I'm paying to have to re-do certain classes with certain professors. If this happens, I could possibly take the Spring semester off and apply to grad schools for my Theology M.A. I've already been in contact with a couple of schools so I'm prepared to take that route if I need to earlier than originally planned.

Plan C: If I want to continue the SLP path (and I feel like I should, despite everything), the plan is to apply for entrance at a local community college that is accredited by the state to get all the fieldwork hours and the rest of my courses completed before I can apply for my license. The only downside to this is that it would take me an extra year or so to complete as the program at the local CC is different than USU's and thus has different requirements. I'd be applying for my Theology M.A. after a brief academic break to work.

As you can see, I'm still pursuing my Theology M.A. no matter what happens. When I (briefly) considered taking a leave of absence this semester and considered going straight to grad school next autumn, I felt at peace. Just thinking that I'll eventually go for my Theology M.A. makes me incredibly happy. I once thought I wouldn't go down the teaching route but I've had a change of heart.

If I learned anything from this program (other than homegirl can handle so much more stress than I thought possible), it's that I work well with children and I love teaching them. I tutored after graduation (for my first BA) and I've work with children for my labs and observation hours for this program and I absolutely love it. I definitely have the patience to teach (SLP is, in a weird way, all about teaching as well) and I'm a big kid at heart so it's a good fit for me. I'm also open to working in youth ministry (yes, I can feel some of you cringing but I don't care). The bottom point is that I feel like I'm meant to work with youth (either children or teenagers). Whether that will be in the SLPA or Theology fields remains to be seen.

So... there you have it. That's the end of the SLP vs Theology roller coaster ride. I should also say that I'm also open to working in the "Theology" field is the opportunity presents itself before I finish either program. I know I'm meant to work in the field so it's really up to God when He thinks I'm ready for it. SLP has always been a small detour to getting there. God is in control and I have absolutely no problem letting Him guide my path.

Even though I'm a lot less "must ace everything... must ace everything..." than I was prior to these decisions, I am still giving the rest of the semester / program all my best so I need to go study for my upcoming Audiology exam this Friday. Prayers, please? Thank you in advance!

And that's all for now. I need to go pick up mom from work, then finish cleaning the house, and then doing the lectures for Audiology. I will try to blog again before the week ends. :)

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

St. Jude, My Reversion, and Earthquakes

Happy St. Jude (and St. Simon!) feast day! St. Jude is a huge reason why I reverted to the Faith so I thought I'd share the short (read: not detailed) story of how that happened.

Originally posted: October 28, 2010
"First off, I would not be here, writing this blog entry, if it wasn't for his intercession. A couple of years ago (side note: summer of 2006), when I was so sick that things like 'she won't make it' and 'she has little time' were thrown around, I began to pray. It's something I hadn't done in years since I'd drifted away from the Church during my teens. Since my mom was/is a huge St. Jude devotee I decided to ask his intercession. That was the beginning of my reversion... He has since interceded for me, as well as for many of my friends, countless time and I wholeheartedly recommend his novena whenever you're in a bind. I have never, ever, been let down and I don't doubt that if you ask his intercession, and if it's God's will, your prayers will be answered."

Wondering how St. Jude's statue got chipped? Here's the shortened version of the post explaining the story (originally posted: December 27, 2007):
"This story takes place in mid-January 1994. I was about 8 years old at the time and I'd never experienced a real big earthquake before... I felt my dad picking me up from my bed, very abruptly, and I opened my eyes to see (and feel) everything shaking violently. Things were falling off the walls, glasses and china was breaking everywhere, if you've ever experienced an earthquake, you know what I'm talking about. Since this earthquake was a really big one, the lights went out almost immediately after the intense aftershocks started... I don't remember too many details about what happened during the shaking except that the statue of St. Jude fell as soon as we (my parents and I) reached the doorway and were safe from anything falling on us... I was talking to my mom about... the St. Jude statue in my room. I very faintly remember (or think I remember) St. Jude's statue falling as soon as we got under the doorway and my mom confirmed it. Apparently, while all other things were falling around us there are three things that didn't fall: the statue of Santo Niño, the statue of St. Jude and the big framed picture of Our Lady of Guadalupe which was up on my bedroom wall. Now, the earthquake was a 6.7 on the richter scale, it was pretty intense. Windows shattered just by the shaking, yet the picture did not fall or get hurt in any way... My mom says they (saints and Our Lady) were all looking out for us... We haven't experienced an earthquake that intense since, thank God, but every time we have experienced smaller earthquake (and/or aftershocks from nearby earthquakes) my mom grabs the St. Jude statues without even thinking about it. My dad grabs the statue of Our Lady and my mom grabs St. Jude... if I don't get to him before she does."

And those are my stories. I hope those who haven't gotten acquainted with St. Jude will look into his story. Never be afraid to ask for his intercession; he's interceded for me and my friends in big ways in the past. :D

Alright, I have spiritual direction in an hour or so and I need to vamoose. ;)

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

Memorare: When Life Doesn't Make Sense

"Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary..."

I have no idea how I managed to survive the weirdest 24 hours (from the 19th through the 20th) of my life while on a roller coaster of emotions. A professor accused me of willful, deliberate plagiarism on an annotated bibliography and was quite rude about it (he has since apologized for his words; it was all one big, ugly misunderstanding). I studied my brains out (figuratively, of course) over the course of days for an exam that I was certain I would pass with flying colors... only to find out that the professor (same one who accused me of plagiarism) gave me a 72%. I have no way of figuring out why (he closes off his exams) so I'm stuck. But, it's all okay. I'll figure things out.

"... that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thine intercession was left unaided..."

I got rid of my old desk (which I'd had for 20+ years). It was the same desk on which my first PC sat. The same desk on which many tears fell during my teen years due to bullying. It's where I sat when I got those emails from a former classmate telling me to kill myself; telling me I was worthless. It's where I started this blog... where the first draft of my first novel was written... It was where I sat when I did my research when I first reverted back to the Faith. Most importantly, it was the desk that I assembled with my father when I was a child... and that I disassembled (by myself) as an adult. In a weird way, it felt as if I was letting go of the past and all that held me back; that it was the final sentence written on that chapter of my life. I feel as if our Heavenly Mother has been (and will continue to be) by my side as I prepare for the new chapter.

"... Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my mother..."

My godson, Neil, was born. Alli (his mama) is a rock star. However, I worried about the labor as it took quite a long time. I slept with the phone next to me... took it everywhere I went (and I'm so not a phone person)... and checked in with Dustin (the dada, lol) throughout the day. I sent the Memorare prayer to Dustin during the labor so that he and Alli could pray it together while we all waited for little Neil to be born. It's the least I could do (besides pray) from across the country.

"... to thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful..."

I realized something (okay, a couple of things) that I didn't like about myself and some things I do. I get discouraged easily... but only briefly before I find a positive spin that motivates me. I worry... but I've been learning to trust God more so the worry hasn't lasted very long recently. The negatives are bad habits I picked up (from observation) as a child but that I've been working on breaking as an adult (I'm getting there!)

"... O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions but in thy mercy hear and answer me..."

At the end of the 24 hours (and I have omitted some more personal things), I'm surprised that I survived without a panic attack or more tears being shed. Besides the Memorare prayer, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13) kept running through my mind. Even though I was bombarded with obstacles, none of it seemed important in the "my life is over" sense. If I don't pass my courses with my, ahem, lovely professor, fine. I'll retake them. If I have to stick around for an extra semester, I'll do it... though I'm really hoping I can pull off at least B-'s in my courses this semester. If my grades stink too much for grad school (for this particular subject), I'll stay at the SLPA level. That was my initial goal anyway; work as an SLPA for a while and then go for my Theology MA. I'll be able to do exactly what I want to do (help carry out the treatment plans for the children with speech disorder) with the SLPA license.

I don't know what my future holds... but I'm okay with that. I don't think I'd want to know anyway. Though life (read: school.. and some other things) is difficult at the moment, I wouldn't trade it for an uncomplicated one. God is preparing me for whatever He has in store for me so I have to tough it out for a while. I believe these trials are there for a reason I do not know or understand but I trust Him completely. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me..." It was one heck of a 24 hour period but I'll be okay. I know that God and Mama Mary have my back and that's more than enough for me.

"Amen."