Lent: Giving Up Social Media and... Talking?!

No, your eyes do not deceive you. I'm giving up talking... in a way. Let me back up a bit and explain.

I've been thinking about what to do for Lent for several weeks. I started early... even before Christmastide actually ended. Advent was amazing for me and I grew a lot as a person. Since then, I've also come to figure out what I truly feel called to do (vocation-wise) and a lot of changes need to be made in that department so I knew there was no better time to implement these changes than Lent. That's not to say that these are "what will make me look better?" changes. No, these are "what will help me live a holier life; one closer to God" changes. Most changes will be small and gradual but there are two that needed immediate attention: social media and what's been coming out of my mouth lately.

As you guys (who've been reading this blog for at least a year) know, I've struggled with my social media addiction for quite some time. I even gave it up in chunks last Lent (you can read about it here and here) and it went well... for a while. I had fallen off the limited-social-media horse when I got sick last summer and then I had to work on that again. I was doing well... and then I wasn't. Again. Are we noticing a pattern yet? I know I substituted Facebook and Twitter for Instagram in recent weeks so I decided to do a no social media fast every day, including Sundays and holy days. I spend too much time scrolling through Instagram, making sure I don't "miss" anything... and then I get sucked into seeing celebrity IG accounts. Who am I?! I never used to do this. Anyway, I've already let my friends know that they have options to contact me and I'm always willing to put something aside for a little while to catch up... unless I'm doing an exam then for that hour I'm not available. ;) 

Now for the big one, which I know a lot of people are probably wondering about. I decided to give up talking because of two reasons. First, the things that have come out of my mouth in recent weeks have not been uncharitable or very ladylike. I'm not saying it's cussing (I don't like cursing); it's simply not nice. I lose my patience when I'm driving (which, apparently, is quite the epidemic here in L.A.) and I say things like "good job, stupid"... or worse. *cringe* (side note: this is a fairly new development and I'm pretty sure it has to do with my lack of Mass attendance). I usually say "good job, friend" but I haven't been as charitable lately. 

Second, I've noticed that it's not only happening when I drive, it's happening overall. I feel like I'm wasting words; the conversations are becoming more shallow and empty, which I dislike. Instead of being positive, it's so easy to complain and feel sorry for myself during times of trials. It's so easy to vent to friends. Even if you think you're being careful, I know it can still come out as being uncharitable towards others. Instead of building up, the tongue can tear something or someone down and if we do it long enough, it becomes a bad habit that will land you in the confessional more often than not.

I'm not giving up talking altogether; I'm just going to be a lot more mindful about what I'm going to say before I say it. I'm going to warn those I usually talk to that I may reply a little slower than usual because I want to make sure that the words that come out of my mouth are used to glorify God, His creations, and/or build something or someone one up. I'm going to try to keep my mouth shut and literally walk away from situations that would tempt to do be uncharitable.

Those are the two big things I'm giving up for Lent. I'm also giving up TV, movies, and screentime (overall) during the remainder of the semester. I've been giving myself too much time to "rest" when I could be studying. My time management there has been really poor and that needs to be addressed but that might be easier to do. Study first, movies later... or movies during Sundays. I'm also limiting my books to Catholic books and books that will help me succeed in my social-media-fast / no frivolous chatter / better time management goals. No more YA fiction for a while.

Those are my plans for Lent. I didn't mention things I'm adding because those things (I feel) need to be done with only God as my witness. They are all good and positive so no worries there. :) 

I will continue blogging throughout Lent. I might even blog more often if I don't get enough socializing... which I probably won't because all of my friends that lived nearby have moved away and everyone pretty much uses social media to stay in touch. lol. File this under "social introvert problems." I believe the blog posts will automatically post to both Twitter and Facebook via IFTTT. Awestruck and my Google+ profile won't be updated; I'm sorry about that if you keep up with the blog posts from those two places. 

I hope you all have an enriching Lenten season. Congrats to the two (randomly chosen by Rafflecoppter) winners of the Magnificat Lenten Companion app: Lesley S. and Joe W.! :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

Lack of Concentration During Prayer

Even though I started this post almost 3 weeks ago (it resided in the Land of Draft), it's still true -- I've unintentionally been on autopilot lately and can't concentrate while praying. I knew it had gotten really bad when I found myself completing the third Joyful mystery without having kept count of how many Hail Mary's I'd prayed or even focused on the mystery a few weeks ago. My thoughts were so wrapped up in whatever popped up in my mind that I missed a wonderful opportunity to stop and reflecting on the beauty of the mysteries of the Rosary.

Do you ever find yourself going through the motions or trying to rush through things because you have a long list of things that "need to be done" going through your mind? How about having random thoughts pop into your mind whenever you're trying to focus on prayer? That's what it's been like for me lately. I thought I'd gotten a handle of them during the Lenten season (which I did) but I think the lack of discipline I've had lately due poor time management, messed up priorities, and anemia-induced lack of concentration has done me in. In the past week I've been trying to change that. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. The point is to keep trying and to change things up so you can figure out what works best.

Before I found out that the lack of concentration (even when I really did try and push the distractions to one side), I used to ask myself:"At what point do I let whatever outside stressors take over? What can I do to snap myself back to the present time and focus on God instead of the other things that don't actually matter?" I figured out what was keeping me back: I'd unintentionally fallen back into the social media spiral... and a game spiral on Facebook. Ay. This past week, I started over again.

I went back through my old blog posts from the Lenten season and the beginning of the Easter season to remind me of what I was capable of. I re-read Quieting the World Part One and Part Two, Lenten Lesson: Balance and Moderation, Lenten Lesson: Rearranging Priorities, and Lenten Lesson: Letting Go of Perfection. I remembered how hard it was to get into the habit but how worth it was at the end of the Lenten season. Why couldn't I keep it up after? Who knows. Human weakness? Anemia-induced fatigue? Both of those options and more? Who knows, all I know is that I'm going to try to keep it up again.

I have been using social media less, especially Facebook where I'd gotten addicted to a game. As soon as I figured out the game that had sucked me into major time wasting, I uninstalled/deleted the app and I don't miss it. I've been trying to nap more often in general (hello, fatigued most days almost all day over here) and I try to take exams and study after them so my mind is sharper. I just bought some iron-rich foods which will be interesting since they contain wheat and wheat and I have a complicated relationship (wheat can make me mentally and physically fatigued at times).

I've also been praying and repeating certain prayers and passages in the Little Office when I can't concentrate. Yes, it is a pain to have to do them twice but I am determined to get through them and really let the words sink in, no matter how hard it is... and it is hard at times. Sometimes I rush through prayer without meaning to and I've found that slowing down and going through it word for word helps. I've had success during EWTN's International Rosary videos to pray the Rosary but I don't always have a chance to sit down and pray them when it are on TV (or even to watch them On Demand on the Roku app) so I need to figure out what to do when I want to pray the Rosary but can't use the videos.

Have any of you experienced this before -- the lack of concentration, especially during prayer? Do you have any creative ideas that have worked with you that I haven't mentioned?  Looking forward to hearing your comments. :)

Anyway, I have a couple of things I need to do before the long weekend starts for me (later today). I'm going to try to take tomorrow and Monday off from doing any coursework so pressure is on to finish the lecture videos and do this week's exam by tonight. ;)

I hope y'all are doing well and that you have a lovely start of weekend! :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

7 Quick Takes Vol. 14: Music and Life Edition

-- 1 --

I've been on a new music kick lately. There are two songs that I can't get enough of. The first is by Little Mix and it's called "Little Me." It's basically a female empowerment song that isn't in-your-face "feminism". It's a "you're beautiful, no matter what others say" / "don't let anyone put you down" kind of song that I always enjoy listening to. Here's the great video for it:

-- 2 --

The second is "Invisible" by Hunter Hayes. As someone who was bullied in school (part of where my PTSD comes from) and was an outcast in school for being "weird" (because I liked music, movies, and things others didn't), the lyrics hit close to home. I think it's a beautiful song. Here's the lyric video for the song:

-- 3 --

After the Great Music Purge of 2014 (740+ songs; 3.52 GB worth deleted off of my laptop), I decided to go through all my songs and pick and choose which ones I wanted on my iPod. Yes, I normally rotate songs in and out throughout the year. Anyway, while going through the songs, I was once again enamored with the Tord Gustavsen Trio's albums The Ground and Being There. I'll include a video but, uh, I don't expect any of you to like it. (warning: it's Norwegian jazz).

-- 4 --

"Having a soft heart in a cruel world is courage, not weakness." - Katherine Henson.

I saw this quote on tumblr yesterday and immediately liked it. I feel like I get so much crumbs for being "too softhearted" and "too nice, Jane Bennet." Yes, some of my friends call me "Jane" after Pride and Prejudice's Jane Bennet because I can be "too nice" and people will take advantage of that. Anyway, this was nice to see; sort of "girl, you be you and don't let the haters tell you otherwise."

-- 5 --

I've been writing a lot of snail letters in the past two days. And by a lot I mean five letters. lol. I fell a little behind during the holidays but now I'm getting back to either replying to letters others have sent me or writing just because. I love having pen pals so it's always fun for me to write to them. And to show how diverse my friends are are: one is a priest, one is a professional photographer, one is a deployed soldier (and one-time guest blogger on this blog), one is a substitute teacher, and the other is young college student. Each letter is going to a different state (and/or country). God bless snail mail!

-- 6 --

If you've noticed that I've been online less in the last couple of days, it's because it's true. I've been trying to get my sleeping schedule on track (read: 10 p.m. sleep time and 4:30 a.m. wake up time; I don't even know who I am anymore, lol) and getting a better grasp at time management so a break from the social networking world has been a must. I have less than 3 months to go before I return to school so I need to make sure I'm ready for it. Intense summer program (and program in general) means a change for the better.

-- 7 --

I'm trying to figure out what I'm going to do for Lent, which is a month-ish away. I will once again be using the St. Therese book I used last year but I think I want to add another one to it. Maybe Finding God's Will For You by St. Francis de Sales or maybe I'll just save up and buy the Little Office of the Blessed Virgin Mary instead of using the version in the iPieta app. I am, for sure, limiting my time on social networks (maybe an hour per day). I'll be on vacation for part of Lent so we shall see what else I can come up with. ;)

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

And that's it for now. My life is quite boring but now you know what I've been up to. :)

I hope you've all been having a great week and that you have an excellent weekend.

As always, thanks for reading and God bless!