A New Chapter and a Low Tech Experiment

Today I embarked on a new chapter in my life... and I'm already stressed out. Yay. lol. Within 5 minutes of waking up, I had to make a big decision that would affect this new chapter. I literally jumped out of bed and ran to get my laptop and made the changes that needed to be made before getting back to the person who was awaiting my decision. Oops, there went my plans to start my day without technology. But, wait, I'm getting ahead of myself...

Let's rewind to this weekend. Knowing that my vacation and leisure time was officially over, I started thinking of possible changes to help me tackle a big problem: my dismal attention span and concentration skills. During a little break, I did something I normally don't do: I went on YouTube to see what I could find to pass some time. Yes, I know, I know, it's a time-sucking black hole... but I needed something to help de-stress me for a couple of minutes. A video by Jordan Taylor (of Blimey Cow) popped up and I thought "hmm, this one sounds interesting." This was that video:



As I watched it I kept nodding and saying "Yes, Jordan. Me, too! Yes. This!"

You guys know I struggle with moderation when it comes to technology. The addiction is real. I've seriously curved my social media usage from where it was last year but I still have a lot to work on. After watching this video, I made the decision to take a page out of Jordan's book and disconnect even more.

I can definitely go a long time without looking at my phone. If I'm busy enough or if I'm interested enough in something that it captures all my attention, my phone can be lost for days and I wouldn't know it. In fact, I have accidentally misplaced my phone and gone hours (and even a couple of days) where I don't even notice until I need it for something (a phone call) more than once. Once, my phone ended up in Dad's old car when my brother took it up to his house an hour north and I didn't even get it back until like a day or two later... and it wasn't missed. lol. How about last week when some of you (whom I communicate with offline) waited up to a week for me to respond to text messages? Um, oops. Sorry! Sadly, this isn't always the case and when I get bored, I glue myself to whatever I can to pass the time.

I'm going to need a lot of mental concentration on this new chapter. A lot. Way more than I'm currently capable of because I instinctively reach for my phone and/or iPod touch or jump from one website to another on the laptop about every 3 minutes or so. I don't have diagnosed ADD or ADHD but my attention span is like that of Dug's from Up! ("Squirrel!"). It never used to be this bad but it's gotten to the point where I think this may be contributing to the lightheadedness I've been experiencing lately.

My phone is now banned from my bedroom and office. It's going to stay in the living room unless I'm going out. When I go out, it stays in my bag or pocket unless I need it. I'm going to turn "do not disturb" on when I'm working and the only person who will be able to reach me (excluded from the "do not disturb" list) is my mother when she's working and needs something urgently. (side note: cell phone usage is banned at the hospital where she works so she only calls when it's unavoidable).

I have not had any social media apps on my phone (save for Instagram) for almost 2 years now but I'm still logged in via the mobile browser. I'm going to log out of those and I will try very, very hard not to log in until all my work is done for the day if I'm out or not until I get back on my laptop for a break when I'm home.

What does this mean for those trying to reach me ASAP? Please don't hate me but it's going to have to wait until I have my breaks... and I'm not going to check during every single break either. Unless you've told me ahead of time that you're going to need me at a specific time (and/or place), nothing will be checked until I'm done. I have to eat and do normal human things that will help me function properly so I will check emails and messages during that time... but only for like 5 minutes... after I'm done eating.

This week I'm using Infomagical to help me work on bettering my focus. Have I mentioned that I really need my full focus on what I'm working on? Because I do. I wouldn't have made such drastic (for me) decisions if I knew I could balance the two. Today's challenge is doing one thing at a time. It's proving to be a lot harder than I thought (say hello to the former champion of the multitaskers) but I need to do this. Even as I type this out, no music is playing in the background. I'm going to do one thing at a time -- giving all my focus and attention to it -- until it becomes a habit. After I type this up, I'm going to see what I can make myself to eat (so hungry; didn't have the time to eat lunch, it's been so hectic today). When I do it, I'm going to focus only on that. No music. No TV. No phone.

When I'm home, I'm going to use a physical clue (just not sure what yet) for Mom to know when I'm busy and absolutely cannot be disturbed (unless it's an emergency) when I'm in my office. I love my mom but she's well known for interrupting at the most inopportune times... though not intentionally. For those whom I talk to online throughout the day, I'll let you guys know what system I'm going to implement to let you guys know when I have a chance to chat.

I wish I could take a break from my laptop for days but, sadly, nearly all of my work will require the use of it. I'll have to figure out how to do what needs to be done on it without getting too much temptation to log in to social media, to check my emails, or put Pandora on (now that I've kissed Spotify goodbye).

I've already replaced my Wunderlist app with a physical planner to use every day. I'm going to get on Amazon later (after I finish what I need to do; electricity went out for a while earlier today so I'm waiting for peak hours to end) and find an analog clock to use instead of my iPod touch for my alarm. I already know I will have a lot of short music breaks in my future because, if today is any indication of what I'm going to be dealing with, I'm going to need to de-stress as much and often as possible to maintain my sanity. I have other low tech changes I'll do but I'll save that for another day.

Not sure how often I'll blog in the next week or two (while I get used to the new routine for the new adventure and the low tech experiment) but at least y'all will know why! Of course, you guys know that I will continue praying for y'all during this time (especially those of you in Texas).

OH! If you're wondering what the new adventure/chapter is... if you already know, you know. Very few people know what I'm talking about and I want to keep it that way for as long as possible. If you don't know what I'm talking about, you will know once I've completed it. This is something I'm very excited to do (answer to my small-v vocation prayers) but I also want to surprise people so... mums the word for now. Don't worry, I'll fill you guys in... when I can. ;)

Anyway, just wanted to write this so that someone can hold me accountable to my new plans. It won't be easy but goodness knows I need to do this.

And now, to eat because I'm mighty hungry.

I hope you all had a lovely weekend and have a great week.

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

Lack of Concentration During Prayer

Even though I started this post almost 3 weeks ago (it resided in the Land of Draft), it's still true -- I've unintentionally been on autopilot lately and can't concentrate while praying. I knew it had gotten really bad when I found myself completing the third Joyful mystery without having kept count of how many Hail Mary's I'd prayed or even focused on the mystery a few weeks ago. My thoughts were so wrapped up in whatever popped up in my mind that I missed a wonderful opportunity to stop and reflecting on the beauty of the mysteries of the Rosary.

Do you ever find yourself going through the motions or trying to rush through things because you have a long list of things that "need to be done" going through your mind? How about having random thoughts pop into your mind whenever you're trying to focus on prayer? That's what it's been like for me lately. I thought I'd gotten a handle of them during the Lenten season (which I did) but I think the lack of discipline I've had lately due poor time management, messed up priorities, and anemia-induced lack of concentration has done me in. In the past week I've been trying to change that. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. The point is to keep trying and to change things up so you can figure out what works best.

Before I found out that the lack of concentration (even when I really did try and push the distractions to one side), I used to ask myself:"At what point do I let whatever outside stressors take over? What can I do to snap myself back to the present time and focus on God instead of the other things that don't actually matter?" I figured out what was keeping me back: I'd unintentionally fallen back into the social media spiral... and a game spiral on Facebook. Ay. This past week, I started over again.

I went back through my old blog posts from the Lenten season and the beginning of the Easter season to remind me of what I was capable of. I re-read Quieting the World Part One and Part Two, Lenten Lesson: Balance and Moderation, Lenten Lesson: Rearranging Priorities, and Lenten Lesson: Letting Go of Perfection. I remembered how hard it was to get into the habit but how worth it was at the end of the Lenten season. Why couldn't I keep it up after? Who knows. Human weakness? Anemia-induced fatigue? Both of those options and more? Who knows, all I know is that I'm going to try to keep it up again.

I have been using social media less, especially Facebook where I'd gotten addicted to a game. As soon as I figured out the game that had sucked me into major time wasting, I uninstalled/deleted the app and I don't miss it. I've been trying to nap more often in general (hello, fatigued most days almost all day over here) and I try to take exams and study after them so my mind is sharper. I just bought some iron-rich foods which will be interesting since they contain wheat and wheat and I have a complicated relationship (wheat can make me mentally and physically fatigued at times).

I've also been praying and repeating certain prayers and passages in the Little Office when I can't concentrate. Yes, it is a pain to have to do them twice but I am determined to get through them and really let the words sink in, no matter how hard it is... and it is hard at times. Sometimes I rush through prayer without meaning to and I've found that slowing down and going through it word for word helps. I've had success during EWTN's International Rosary videos to pray the Rosary but I don't always have a chance to sit down and pray them when it are on TV (or even to watch them On Demand on the Roku app) so I need to figure out what to do when I want to pray the Rosary but can't use the videos.

Have any of you experienced this before -- the lack of concentration, especially during prayer? Do you have any creative ideas that have worked with you that I haven't mentioned?  Looking forward to hearing your comments. :)

Anyway, I have a couple of things I need to do before the long weekend starts for me (later today). I'm going to try to take tomorrow and Monday off from doing any coursework so pressure is on to finish the lecture videos and do this week's exam by tonight. ;)

I hope y'all are doing well and that you have a lovely start of weekend! :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D