When You're Forced to Slow Down

Dear God,

Message received, loud and clear. I needed to slow down and take care of myself. I can still (unintentionally) get back on the "must work, work, work" train of thought that lets important things -- like getting proper hydration during the day -- slip to the side. Thank you for derailing my plans.

Sincerely,

Emmy

I spent most of last week sleeping and/or unable to leave the house. On Tuesday, which was St. Cecilia's feast day, I had planned on reposting my confirmation story and expand on how St. Cecilia has been an ever-present influence on my life without me realizing it until recently. (side note: I'll eventually post that story but I won't have the time to do it today.) I was also going to write about Advent beginning and a slew of other ideas I had. Then I woke up on Tuesday not feeling that great. I think I slept about 20-22 hours in total on Tuesday and Wednesday. I had to turn in a homework assignment late because I was just completely out of it on Tuesday, falling asleep when I wasn't dealing with feeling like crumbs. I was forced to slow down and rest. Then, when I started feeling better, I decided to take the long Thanksgiving Break off and do some serious self-care by letting my body get the rest it needed as well as eating and drinking as I should. Okay, I also watched the Gilmore Girls revival episodes (not a fan) and let my mind rest after pushing it to my limits over the last couple of weeks.

Could I have finished the last of my homework assignments during the long weekend? Sure. Though I didn't start feeling like myself again until yesterday (and it was still a sort of off day), I could've totally made myself do some of the work. Instead, I chose not to. Why? Because I wasn't sleeping quality sleep. Sure, I got 6-8 hours of sleep but they were usually broken up into naps of 3-4 hours per nap. I wasn't drinking enough water. I was eating well enough but I needed the other two components. I chose to give myself a break because I know that finals are coming up and I'll be completely useless for the exams if I burn myself out before they begin late next week.

I've made a lot of progress from a year ago. Last year I pushed myself too hard, especially after my car accident. I wanted to prove that I could do it all despite the obstacles. That's just how I've always been, especially when it comes to academia. I wanted to finish my first quarter of graduate school on a high note despite missing half the quarter due to the accident. I put homework and exam deadlines ahead of sleep, food, and (I'm ashamed to admit) even attending Mass one weekend. My priorities were messed up. I put importance on things that would, ultimately, not matter in the long run and was neglecting things that were more important. This semester was the first in which prayer, Mass, and health have gotten priority over deadlines. It's worked out well for me but it was so easy to slip back into my bad habits in the week leading up to my last exam, two weeks ago. After the exam, I was on that academic high (despite the bombed exam) and it was hard not to keep going. I didn't even notice it, to be honest. I just thought "Oh, cool. Second wind!!" Nope. I was going to eventually crash -- and probably before I took my last final -- and it took this to slow me down and rest. Again, thank you, God, for forcing me to slow down.

I love how this also coincided with the beginning of Advent. Though it's my favorite time of year (massive fan of Advent and Christmastime over here), I didn't really prepare this year. I bought a new Advent candle holder (Nativity scene center) to replace the wreath we had that fell apart. I pulled out my book of Advent and Christmas meditations using wisdom nuggets from Ven. Fulton Sheen. I came up with a list of New (Liturgical) Year Resolutions. (Side note: I already failed out of the gate because I was too lightheaded to drive to Mass by myself last night. I really need someone to find someone willing to come pick me up for Mass when I can't drive but am, at least, well enough to sit and be present at Mass.) That's about it. I've changed to Office 2 in The Little Office of the Blessed Virgin Mary. I'm continuing the 54-day Rosary novena. I'm keeping my prayer schedule. One thing that I will be doing, that is a last minute addition, is adding more silence into my day.

I've never been a big fan of silence. The day my father died, I took solace in music. When I'm home alone, something is almost always playing in the background. I can't drive in the car without music. I can (and have) done long periods of silence but it's usually during Lent. I'm not sure if I don't want to be alone with my thoughts, if it's just something that I learned from my parents, or if it's something I've yet not figured out but I've never been comfortable with not having some type of noise, even if it's white noise. This season, I'm going to add to silence to my routine as part of my ongoing quest to let go and let God lead the way. I have a feeling it may be exactly what I need amidst the crazy that is coming up in the next 2-3 weeks. The silence will also help slow down my ever-racing brain ("gotta memorize these terms... gotta do this assignment...") and help me focus on what Advent is all about.

Anyway, just wanted to write so... hey, new blog post. ;) Now I'm going to do a couple more self-care things (get a bit more water in me and have dinner) and then get started on some of my last observation hours since hours 20-22 (out of 25; almost done!) are due tomorrow. They'll get done when they get done but I have time to do them tonight so why not? It'll be better than binge-watching more Netflix shows and movies (which I did enough of this weekend). Moderation, my dears. :)

I hope y'all had a great weekend and a lovely start of the Advent season. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

Happy Liturgical New Year!

Taking a really quick break from my Theology paper (writing on Tradition and the Magisterium, whoo!) to wish y'all a Happy Liturgical New Year. Advent and Christmastime is my absolute favorite time of year. Everything seems to get a lot quieter, the start of the new liturgical year and the upcoming celebration of Christ's birth brings so much hope and joy, and the importance of family is highlighted more during this time than any other (during the calendar year). It seems like it's the perfect time to renew your faith if you've been wavering in recent weeks and/or months.

If you don't have any Advent traditions (Advent wreath and/or candles, Jesse Tree, etc.), that's okay. May I suggest taking a couple of minutes to contemplate the meaning of the season on a daily basis? If you're a massive Catholic nerd like I am, maybe making new year resolutions can help as well. This year I'm hoping to attend daily Mass more often as well as giving my prayer life a much-needed makeover (which I've already started). Finding one or two things you can work on should be a good start. Don't do too much at once. Baby steps, my dears.

Anyway, I have about 6 hours left to finish my paper and, while I hope to finish it in 2-3 hours or less, I don't want to rush so I should get back to that.

I hope you all have a wonderfully fruitful Advent season.

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

 

Happy Liturgical New Year!

Our Advent wreath we use every year.

It's the first day of Advent so... Happy Liturgical New Year, everyone! Today the Advent wreath goes on the table (and is blessed), part of the Nativity is set up in the living room, and I go into uber Catholic nerd mode because it (Advent into Christmas) is my most favorite time of year. The start of Advent this year also marks the beginning of the St. Andrew Christmas novena (I do it from the 30th of November through Christmas Eve instead of the 16th of December through 24th) AND the Year of Consecrated Life! Not only that, my godson Neil was baptized yesterday so I have a lot of reason to celebrate and be happy. Can you blame me for geeking out today? lol.

I'm going to keep this short and sweet because it is Sunday and I do want to rest (though I've been stuck at home, in bed, for the past three days...) but I wanted to help some of y'all find solid online Advent calendars.

1) XT3 has done an amazing job every Advent and Lent since they began doing virtual calendars for the seasons. It seems like they're doing something new this year (keeping it more simple instead of going a flashier route) so it'll be interesting to see how the rest of the calendar will be presented this year.

2) The Irish Catholic Bishops' Conference is doing an Advent Calendar this year. I personally don't know much about the website but I am a Hibernophile (I have a great love for Ireland) and I do have quite a bit of Irish blog readers (yes, I've seen the stats before) so I decided to include it. So far it looks pretty solid and I will definitely check it out this Advent.

3) EWTN doesn't have a calendar but they do have a lot of resources for any Advent related question, tradition, or daily reflection you may be looking for.

Yes, I am aware that there is a popular website for young Catholics (which I will not name) that also does Advent calendars and are doing a special thing (keeping it vague) this year but I decided not to add them on the list for two reasons. First, I didn't like their Advent calendar when I checked it out a couple of years ago and, second, they have questionable content on their website. By questionable content I mean that not everything seems orthodox (read: reminds me of the stuff they "taught" at my alma mater) and some of the content will most likely confuse young, uninformed Catholics than help them so I'm just going to steer clear of that.

I know some people do the Jesse tree and I'm considering doing it this year for myself (as in, just keeping track of the daily symbols in a notebook). Since it's just mom and I at home, we usually just skip this tradition. I think once I have little ones of my own, it'll be something I'll do.

Are there any traditions y'all like to do with your families or by yourselves? Let me know! :D

Alright, it is currently 1:18 a.m. so I should get sleep. By the time this posts (8 a.m. schedule time) I should be either wake up or on the verge of waking up. ;)

I hope y'all have a wonderfully blessed Advent season. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

New (Church) Year Resolutions.

Picture of our Advent wreath (prior to the candles) via Instagram. :)

That's right, I make New (Church) Year Resolutions. Sorry to all of you New Year's Eve/Day fans (I am one too) but, for me, the start of the new Liturgical Year is more exciting and thus I make all my resolutions on it.

So, what are my resolutions? Attending Mass daily, thinking through my words and actions before I do them (and thus keeping me out of the confessional longer), spending more time in prayer, etc.

I already sort-of failed one -- attending Mass. But, I did try. Anxiety decided to creep up on me around midnight last night. Still, I was determined to attend Mass so I got dressed up, braved the rain, and drove to one of the nearby parishes. Since we were early, I had time to drive around and look for a parking spot on the street. Then a half hour panic attack began and I was so lightheaded that I had to close my eyes for a couple of minutes. I also felt like I couldn't breathe... and that just set everything else off. When I realized that I probably wouldn't be able to attend Mass without possibly having another anxiety attack, I let it all out (read: cried). When I felt well enough to drive back home, I did. Three hours later, I am still lightheaded and recovering. Yeah. No Mass for me today but I will be watching it online (I don't get EWTN on the telly) so I don't miss it entirely. And I would like to once again thank Julie for reminding me to do the Act of Spiritual Communion since I couldn't physically receive the Eucharist today. I will try Mass tomorrow morning. :)

And, since Advent has begun, I'm also beginning two separate projects. The first, I've already mentioned (What I Learned Wednesday/WILW). In case you're part of the tl;dr crowd: WILW is basically a blog post on Wednesdays on which you tell us what you've learned about the faith that week. It is my goal (for the Year of Faith) to strengthen my knowledge of the faith and I don't want to slack so blogging about it will make me more conscience of my progress... or my slacking. I invite those of you who want to participate to do so. It doesn't have to be long -- a couple of sentences or a paragraph is enough. You can blog or tweet it too. I'll hopefully have a graphic for it by next Wednesday for those who'd like to blog about it. :)

The second project will not be revealed as it has to do with my vocation but let's just say that I'm preparing myself for it (vocation) and this is just part of it. In recent weeks, I've felt like I've finally gotten enough "Okay, Emmy. If these things don't convince you that this is your vocation, you are hopeless" signs/moments that have inspired me to prepare myself for it. No clue about when I will actually move onto the next stage but I know that it'll all be done when God thinks I am ready. :)

I will spare y'all the boring details of why I hadn't blogged until now (really, I was just working and/or writing a novel during NaNoWriMo) but I do apologize for the long periods in between. I hope that this month will slow down some so I will try to be more attentive to this poor little blog. ;)

I hope you all had a great weekend and that you all have a wonderful Advent. Make it count this year. ;) If you are stuck for ideas, check out XT3's Advent Calendar (I use it every year).

I will be praying for all of you, and if you have any special intentions/requests, please don't hesitate to contact me via the FB page or Twitter. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless! :D

Hear My Voice Review; Vocation Signs?

Sorry it's taken a while to write another blog. So much classwork, so little time. :D I have a bit of time now, though, so I will get down to business. :)

I recently received a generous pre-release copy of the book Hear My Voice by Jonathan Stampf from the author himself. As I mentioned in the previous blog, I had seen the preview and liked what I saw. I was excited when I got the book and it did not disappoint one bit. The book's official title is Hear My Voice: A Children's Translation of Gospel Readings of the Catholic Mass for 2009... and that's exactly what it is! Mr. Stampf does an excellent job breaking down the Mass readings, from the First Sunday of Advent this year through The Solemnity of Our Lord Jesus Christ (the entire Liturgical Year). I know when I was growing up, they tried to explain things to me, such as how exactly the three wise men/three kings gave Jesus at His birth, but I just got more confused. "Frankincense and Myrrh"? At 5 - 7, I didn't know what that was. "Perfume" I got. The way things are translated in the book is fantastic. It doesn't take away from the readings, at all. The illustrations in the book help a child's imagination grasp the readings even more vividly so that they'll learn and remember them more easily. One thing: I feel like he didn't "dumb down" the readings or talk down to the intended readers. Sometimes authors try to write books for children and it feels like they have a "I'm a grown up so I'm more knowledgeable than you... so listen to me because you don't know anything" sort of vibe. Not at all with this book. It has a very friendly way of explaining things. Overall, I was very impressed with the book! If they gave me to me as a child, I would've probably paid closer attention and not let my mind wander off so easily. lol. Seriously, though, this is such a great book and I highly recommend it for all. And, hey, both the beginning of the new Liturgical Year AND Christmas are coming up. This would be a great opportunity to get it! Just click here to check it out for yourself (and hopefully get a copy of it). I'll also keep it under "Highly Recommended" in case anyone wants to find it at a later date. :D

I would like to thank Mr. Stampf for being kind enough to send me a copy of the book. Best of luck to you! :D

Now, I have a question for everyone... if you know what your vocation is, how did you figure out what it was? Lately, I feel like I've been getting signs as to what my vocation should be... or at least I think they're signs.

On Saturday, at church during confessions, I felt like I got three signs. First, when I got out of the car and started heading towards church, this gust of wind got me from the back and it made my oversized shirt puff up so that I looked pregnant. I even thought to myself, "I wonder if this is what I'll look like if I ever get married and have a baby." Second, the priest gave me a "prayer for vocations" prayer (written by Cardinal Roger Mahoney; who's the Archbishop of Los Angeles) and asked me to pray it at least once a day or two-three times a week. The prayer is mainly for more religious vocations, though. I've already ruled out the vocation of a nun/religious sister. I didn't know Fr. Juan would give me the prayer but he did. And third, when I came out of the church I saw this young couple who had just gotten married, getting their pictures taken, in the parking lot. The young lady looked a lot like a high school friend of mine, who has the same name I do. I even had to do a double take to make sure it wasn't her. It wasn't.

I also had a dream yesterday, in which I was a mother. I had a sleeping newborn baby boy in my arms. I felt so much love towards that baby. We were in a car so I thought, "I hope he doesn't wake up because I don't have a bottle to give him." I could tell he was hungry so I decided to sing him to him so he's stay asleep until we got home. I started singing a Spanish lullaby (which is specifically a traditional Spanish Christmas carol). The baby cracked open one eye and looked up at the ceiling. He then opened the other eye, turned his attention towards me and smiled. It was the sweetest thing in the world and I thought "He knows I'm his mom, and he's happy to see me." So then I continued singing, and he understood what I was trying to do so he covered himself back up with a makeshift blanket he was wrapped up in. Then I woke up.

I don't know if those were signs or not but it's interesting. There's a vocations thing, for young people, at the parish tonight but with the amount of homework I have, I won't be able to make it.

Alright, well, I actually still A LOT to do before tomorrow. I don't know when I'll be able to write the next blog because my week is insane. My Oceanography final is this coming weekend, I have a math assessment test on Thursday (trying to test into a specific class), my English Lit midterm is coming up and have loads of papers to re-write for it, my History of World Religions class has its midterm (a paper) due soon... AHHH! lol. I need to remember to breathe sometimes. :D

I've taken enough of your time. :D I hope everyone had a great weekend! As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D