What I Learned Wednesday #12: Habemus Papam Edition

What a day! I had a nightmare that the world was ending but that Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI was in my house, hold the hands of my mother, my late father, and myself before he absolved me from any and all sins I had between my last confession and now. I woke up, had a terrible nap (but a curious dream that I was in Spain when I saw the white smoke and heard the announcement of a new Pope), and then woke up in time to pray, have breakfast, and then park myself in front of my laptop and TV (yes, both were on).

As we awaited to see whether we had a new Pope or not, my heart raced and I was shaking with nerves/excitement. When we finally saw the white smoke, my ugly crying face came out and then I alternated between crying, thanking God, and laughing. Yeah, I was an emotional mess. lol. I was surprised when Pope Francis was announced as our new Pope because, honestly, I thought it was either going to be Cardinal Scola or a North American Cardinal. I don't know much about Pope Francis but here are a few things I have learned thus far.

1) First off, it's Pope Francis, not Pope Francis I. Yes, he's the first Pope Francis (and first Pope from the Americas... and first Jesuit Pope) but we won't use the number one. If you don't believe me, check the Vatican's website. I made this mistake early on (tweeting "Pope Francis I" before a twitter friend in seminary corrected it) and I have seen many fellow Catholics do the same. It makes sense. There is no reason to add the number if he's the first and there hasn't been a second. Maybe we're just used to using numbers (i.e. Bl. John Paul II and Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI). Anyone around the time of Pope John Paul I remember whether they had this same problem? I was born when Bl. JPII was Pope so *shrugs*.

2) I learned this before the conclave but I tweeted it for those who didn't know; you earn a plenary indulgence by watching or listening to the Pope's first blessing. When I learnt this, I saw that it counted even if you watched it on TV or heard it on the radio. This time around it was extended to those who were watching online, a first! I thought it was very telling that he asked us to bless him before he blessed us. That's a first as well, right? And if you're wondering, the first televised Papal conclave happened in August 1978. I'm so glad that they included "new media" outlets (Vatican's YouTube live feed, EWTN, CatholicTV, various internet sources) because that's where most of us get our news. Not only that, Catholic New Media evangelization efforts are fruitful online and it's great that the Vatican recognizes this fact. (Side note: Reminds me of my Senior Thesis on Catholic New Media which I may or may not post sometime this year).

3) I think it's safe to say that the majority of us don't (or didn't) know squat about Pope Francis prior to his becoming Pope. After reading the latest Canterbury Tales blog post by Dr. Marshall, I learned a bit more. Some of my favorite facts include: "In Argentina, he has been accused by anti-clericalists as being 'medieval'", "was concurrently named ordinary for Eastern Catholics in Argentina, who lacked their own prelate. So he can, presumably, celebrate the Divine Liturgy of Saint John Chrysostom", and "has been critical of liberation theology." That last one reminded me of how liberation theology is taught at my CINO alma mater... and how they'll more than likely have issues with Pope Francis. To quote Montgomery Burns, "excellent."

Anyway, that's it for now. It's 90+ degrees in my part of L.A. and all I want to do is cool down and relax after all the excitement from today.

Don't forget to pray for Pope Francis, the Holy Church, and, well, everyone. May his Papacy be fruitful and everything that is in God's will for us as a holy, Catholic, and apostolic Church. ;)

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

Emmy, Defender of the Pope and Priests?

This weekend I got a chance to really talk to my confessor about the trouble I've been having at school. Forget my Thesis (which is done!). Forget finals. Forget the insane hour to three hour (each way!) trip I have to take to get to and from campus. It's a little more serious than that.

Remember that music professor I wrote about a few weeks ago? The one who seemingly has it out for me? Well, she was being okay for a while but it's started up again... and I have a very strong feeling that she will try to dock my grade as much as she can simply because she does not like me. She's been taking out whatever is going on with her on myself and another classmate. I will be talking to someone this week in case this happens. I'm covering all my bases. I SHOULD be graded on the work I've done in class and not on other stuff. And, yes, I admit that I have missed many lectures but when she's the cause of the horrific panic attacks that cause me to miss her class... well... you get it. But this isn't even the worse thing I've encountered.

Those of you who've read this blog long enough know about my struggles at my CINO college. Things have been more bearable this school year because I've only had two Religious Studies courses. Still, it's as bad in other non-Religious Studies classes... and this is what I told my confessor. I don't think it's very productive venting about situations and people but I've learned the hard way that bottling up emotions is bad. That is actually a huge cause for my anxiety. I don't "talk smack" about people but I do make it known that I am not happy with the way certain people (like my professors) treat me and how they speak out against the Church. I told him just what I've heard during lectures. "The Pope is a super rat with red shoes." Priests are dragged through the mud. "Women should be priest(esses) if they want." "The Church is patriarchal and want to oppress women." "Contraception is the best thing that happened to women." These are just some examples, it gets worse but I won't have time to get into them all just now.

As I was telling my confessor this, he looked surprised and unhappy. (side note: he's my new confessor since Fr. Alexander passed away last month.) I only gave me a sample of what I've heard and how I feel bad about venting about my professors (especially because I've heard it mostly from the nuns who are the professors)... but I have to get my frustration out by speaking about it. I am NOT okay with it. It's one thing to take whatever the professors are feeling out on me (I am sensitive and I may cry but I can always offer it up)... it's a whole different thing to take it out on Pope Benedict XVI, clergy, and the Church. My confessor told me one simple thing that made a bigger impact on me than he might've intended: defend him, other priests, and the Pope against these kinds of attacks.

I've been praying and asking God to show me what do with my life after graduation. After doing all the research for my Thesis about our generation (Generation Y), religious beliefs amongst our generation, and the Church, I felt like I was heading in the right direction in terms of what I wanted to do. It wasn't until I heard my confessor tell me to defend them that it all clicked for me. I'm going to do my darnest to try to get the word out to this generation (as well as the younger generations) that we have to do what we can to defend the Church and her members.

By that I don't mean fighting for the sake of fighting; no violence, please. I am talking about educating ourselves about the true teachings of the Church (not what the mass media and others may ignorantly inform us) so that we are prepared to go against what is thrown our way. After reading all those Vatican documents and doing all that research, I have a new outlook on things and I deeper love and appreciation for the Church and the Pope. Alicia, Trista, and I have even formed our own little Pope fan club. ;)

We have such a wonderful Pope, priests, and nuns (we cannot forget about religious sisters :D) that bring us closer to God and to knowing Him better with our hearts... yet they are constantly attacked. Why not show our appreciation for all that they do by doing what we can to help them? If you're not feeling up to going toe-to-toe with someone, pray for them. As my mom has reminded me since I was a little girl, prayers and faith can move mountains. We can pray for a change of heart and that person's conversion.

From this day on, I'd like to be known as Emmy, defender of not only God, the Blessed Virgin Mary, Saints, and the unborn but of the Pope and Priests as well. It's a long title but it's one that is now etched into my heart. With only 3 weeks (exactly) until my graduation ceremony, I am going to do what I can to leave my mark at that school... to show them that I came out of it with my faith stronger and more intact than when I started. Call that an epic win for God and a fail for those who tried to keep me away from Him.

Anyway, I'm off to finish some of my last assignments as an undergrad student. No, it hasn't hit me just yet. Give me another week (when there is only one week of classes and finals week left) for it to hit home that I'm done. ;)

I hope you all had a blessed weekend (I LOVE Divine Mercy Sunday though I was sadly too sick to attend Mass yesterday) and have a great week. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless! :D

Saint Dreams, Part... I Seriously Lost Count.

*originally started August 4th but posted the 7th*

During the earlier days of this blog, I used to write about saint dreams I had. I used to have them more often in those days and then stopped for a while. They've been become frequent again and two have had the same message so I thought I'd share.

Those with whom I communicate on a fairly regular basis know that I haven't been feeling very close to God lately. I don't know why but I just can't concentrate as well as I have before while praying or making an earnest attempt to meditate. The more I try to get back on the track I was, the harder it is. When I make an effort to pray at a certain time, especially when it comes to the 54 day Rosary novena I am currently doing with Angelica, something gets in the way and it's delayed until it's almost too late (nearing midnight). I just feel like there's something blocking and I don't know how to get around it. I talked to my regular confessor about it but even with his advice I feel stuck. Maybe that's why I had the following dreams I am about to share. I won't go into great detail but just the gist so y'all will understand.

Last week I had a dream that involved me being inside a parish and seeing Bl. Pope John Paul II consecrating the Eucharist. I was there with two newlywed friends of mine (who were in their wedding attire) who could not see what I saw. Anyway, I was told that I needed to receiving the Eucharist every day. Last night I had another interesting dream in which both my vocation and the Eucharist was brought up. I've been having doubts about whether I had discern my vocation properly so it was interesting that it was brought up in my dream. Anyway, last night's dream involved St. John Vianney, whose feast day we are celebrating today. I was, once again, told that I needed to receive the Eucharist on a daily basis. There were mentions of spiritual attacks coming to me in the next couple of days but the main thing was that I needed to go to Mass daily. Period. No ifs, ands, or buts. Considering how I've been feeling, I wouldn't be surprised if this is what I need in my daily routine.

I normally don't put a lot of importance on my dreams because it's dangerous to think that you can predict things or are getting straight messages through your dreams. I've had quite a number of interesting dreams that I occasionally share with whomever else was in the dream with me but that's about it. These dreams, though, I cannot help but really think about. Whether they come from God or from my subconscious, I really feel a strong urge to go to Mass and receive the Eucharist daily. Like I said, maybe it's what I need to feel closer to God once again. Maybe it's something that will make me feel more complete. It'll be a challenge as my sleeping schedule is so out of whack most days and I return to school in a couple of weeks but I think I'm going to earnestly try to attend Mass daily -- especially in the morning as my evenings are usually crazier.

Anyway, I just wanted to share because I thought the dreams were awesome. I am happy that the saint dreams are returning after a short break from them (a break I didn't want).

I hope y'all have a great rest of week and enjoy this feast day. Say a pray for your parish priests. :)

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless!