Music Monday: The Great Music Purge

It only took me a year and a half but it's done. The Great Music Purge of 2013 is in the history books. If you haven't read my blog enough (nor want to click the link), I will explain why I did this.

Basically, I wasn't comfortable listening to a lot of songs that I had acquired over the years (including prior to my reversion). I used to pay attention to the melody and some of the words but when I stopped and actually listened to the lyrics I was surprised. A lot of songs had those double entendres that I hadn't picked up but, when I did, I was disturbed. My mind is still very innocent in that way. What the heck was I listening to at 12? I was listening to WHAT just a few weeks ago? *shudder*

Since it was Lent (and I had been putting off for far too long), I thought it was a good idea to just get it done. I started off with 2000+ songs and I ended up with (as you can see the screencap) 770 songs. That doesn't include songs on physical CDs or songs on my laptop that belong to my mom or were my dad's. That means that I wasted a ton of money on songs (since I legally paid for all my music). Once I took out songs I wasn't particularly interested in listening to these days (like Christmas music) and songs that I can't listen to because of "Alleluia" or "Hallelujah" (which should be avoided during Lent), I ended up with 310 songs.

Even though I had to give up a lot of songs I "loved" (I got rid of anything that had a negative message as well; i.e. "I will seek revenge on you for xyz..." or "if this person doesn't come back to me, I will plunge into a deep depressive hole..."), I knew it was for the best. Call me a prude and/or call me a puritan for getting rid of certain songs but I felt like I needed to do it for myself. In my experience, if you surround yourself with negativity and/or sinful thoughts and things, you'll most likely get acclimated to it and the easier it'll be for you to accept them... which can lead you astray more easily. You may disagree (and that's fine) but I would rather not risk it. Trust me, I had to go into the confessional a couple of times and confess some thoughts and words that were a result of singing along or thinking about certain songs. Yeah, not going back for that. For being an impatient snark when I'm driving, maybe, but not for that! lol.

I wish someone had curved my iTunes addiction between 2004 and 2008 (when I went a little crazy, ahem) but what's done is done. All of this has actually made me even more aware of my spending (not just on physical and virtual items but also with my time). There's been a lot of wasted money and time that I won't get back. However, I can make sure I don't make the same mistake twice. Not that I will now with the uber frugal budget I've given myself but, you know, better to take precautions. ;)

FYI, No, all the songs are not Perry Como. lol. It's a mix of classical, jazz/swing/big band, country, pop, classic rock, etc etc. My tastes vary and I have a soundtrack for everything. Everything. Music nerd, party of one. ;)

Anyway, just wanted to write this quick update because I know some of you were wondering about it... or some wanted to know what I'm currently listening to because I seem to have music on almost 24/7 (yes, I even have it on while I sleep some nights). My last.fm account will show y'all more if you're interested... but remember that I have a lot of pre-reversion music on it. ;)

Since today is my day off (I give myself Sundays and Mondays off), I'm going to try to relax before I go back to work on my novel and whatever assignments I can find (work is unfortunately nonexistent these days).

I hope you all had a great weekend and a have a fantastic week. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless. :D

What I Learned Wednesday #11

Wow, I've really dropped the ball on this over the past two weeks. My apologies; busy weeks. Anyway, I have time now (oh, do I have time) so What I Learned Wednesdays are back. :)

1) When you go through a vocation crisis and you ask God for help, He will send you some awesome help. I don't think I've written about this but I'd been having a sort of vocation/career crisis over the last couple of weeks. I just feel like I've been stuck in my life with both my vocation and my career with no real sense of direction because I'm, once again, at a crossroads. On top of that, I sometimes I feel like I'm not all there when I pray; like I can't concentrate no matter how hard I try (though I fight hard during these times). The last days of the 54 day Rosary novena were hard because of this. It has added to the "What is my vocation? Did I discern it properly? Where is my career going? What should I pursue in grad school?" stress.

As I said on Monday, I had a moment when I felt that the Holy Spirit made my vocation clear so at least that is one less thing to worry about. I went to Sacred Heart, took pictures, and then sat down in front of the tabernacle (after I knelt and made some quick prayers). I was determined just to sit, be quiet, and focus on having some solo time with Jesus. I kid you not, the second I thought the word "vocation" I felt like something within me yelling "marriage! marriage! marriage!" followed by a feeling of happiness, relief, stability and firmness that I had never experienced before. Like "quit asking, child, it's this. Be happy." lol. It was weird but a good weird. lol. So I'm taking it as being told what it is so I can move forward... if I can move forward. That's a whole 'nother conversation I won't get into. lol.

2) As many of you have heard, Aquinas and More began having a clearance sale and they soon saw outpouring support from past customers. Because of it, they decided to have a fundraiser to keep the business going. They were the first Catholic company that I personally bought my items from when I reverted and have even been an affiliate of theirs practically from the inception of this blog. (side note: if you check out the left hand side bar, you'll see where you can search for items through this blog so that I get some credit -- not that I've ever used the credit from past purchases because I'm just happy to send them business). If you haven't already donated and can spare a bit, please do so. No, I'm not getting paid to say this nor do I get anything out of it except continuing to see a faithful Catholic store continue. Seriously, they don't care items that are not orthodox and/or made in China. I've already seen one local family run Catholic bookstore close (St. Peter's Pier in Woodland Hills... you are still missed), I would hate to see another close as well.

3) I don't know if y'all have seen this but there is a great video series that covers many Catholic topics, including the Bible. This video is just the "in a nutshell" introduction to the Bible.


Videos by this team range from covering to the Catechism to a variety of other Catholic topics. While the videos aren't new, they are to me and I am sure to many of you. It's videos like this and programs like The Bible that make me want to go back and read the Bible more thoroughly than previous times. Credit to finding this video goes to XT3 (yes, I'm still a member) who posted the link recently. :)

And that is it for this round of WILW. I am dealing with the aftermath of eating Ritz crackers (which made me feel sick yesterday) and grape juice (which I drank last night) so I want to rest a bit before I attempt to finish cleaning the house. No, my stomach still can't handle all that acid... and it's all made me very dizzy and just blah today. Meh. :( I've already received a couple of prayer requests/intentions so I am offering up this horrid discomfort/sickness up for them. Hey, gotta do something positive with it. :)

I hope to post something by Friday since work has currently dried up (and my brother left for Texas on Sunday) and I have more than enough free time to write. :)

I hope y'all are having a great week thus far. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless. :D

Picture Post: Sacred Heart of Jesus Catholic Church

Now and then I like to explore random churches in neighborhoods I'm not normally in. My fascination started with the Mission San Fernando (I even wrote two posts on it). I just love visiting churches and California Missions. I love the history and I love seeing how, though they're all different, I still feel God's love in them all. Sometimes I take pictures and sometimes I don't. Today, I went nuts because it's been the prettiest church I've seen in L.A. thus far.

Long story short: I went to visit my baptism and first communion Godmothers (whom are also mother and daughter) at their workplace closer to the city (I live in the urban 'burbs). Since we had time to kill (and I had seen on Google Maps that there was a church in the area), I decided to explore it... and I'm so glad I did. I'll talk about my experience in there (seriously, the word "marriage" was practically yelled within me when I sat in front of the tabernacle and started thinking about vocations) when I have enough concentration to do so. ;)

For past picture posts check out this post and this post for pictures of Mission San Fernando, this post for pictures of Mission Santa Barbara (2 hours north of L.A.), and this post for pictures of Christ the King Church near Hollywood. I am sure I have some pictures of the Cathedral and other churches but I'm too exhausted to look but you get the gist. ;)

Anyway, because I am too exhausted (running on 4 hours of sleep; darn nightmares) to focus on what I'm writing so I'm just going to make this a picture post.

Sacred Heart of Jesus Catholic Church from up the street.

Beautiful statue of Our Lady of Guadalupe at side entrance of church.

Front of church.

Statues of the Sacred Heart of Jesus, Sacred Heart of Mary, and St. Lucy on left side of altar.

This church was dedicated in 1887. Yeah. Wow.

View from the back of the parish. It came out much lighter than I anticipated. #win

Beautiful stain glass windows on side of church.

Close up of the window of the Third Joyful Mystery. Taken on a Monday. #CatholicWin

Statues of Our Lady of Mount Carmel, St. Therese of Lisieux, and St. Anthony of Padua.

Altar/communion rails! lol.

Close up of altar.

I didn't get enough pictures since I really wanted to spend time in front of the beautiful tabernacle you see in the picture above. These pictures certainly didn't do the beauty of the church any justice. I hope to maybe write about my experience tomorrow when I'm less sleepy and loopy from the lack of sleep. I'll be blogging more regularly as I have a lot to write about and time to do it. :D

I hope you all had a great weekend and have a great start of week. If you have any prayer requests, send them my way. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless!

Big Update Post: Health; Lent Failures and Successes

Wow. I haven't blogged in over a week. Sorry. It's been a crazy busy week. I received my test results on Thursday (which I will write about), my brother arrived from Texas on Friday for a visit (and he's still here), and my weekend was crazy (Mondays count as my weekend since I take off Sundays and Mondays). Breathe, Emmy... breathe. Let's recap how crazy things are, shall we?

If you haven't already read via my twitter and/or the blog's FB page, I am completely healthy... on paper. Upper GI results came back with good news: no damage to my stomach, esophagus, or any other part that they checked. No acid reflux as far as they can see (though the doctor said I might still have some). No ulcer. No H. Pylori. My blood test results are perfect. The doctor is stumped. The problem is that I still have some problems eating. I had Spanish rice for the first time since late summer a couple of days ago and I had no immediate reaction. It was only until the next day that the acid was a bit uncomfortable and I didn't feel 100%. Thankfully it's less than before. I haven't tried all foods but I'm starting to try some of my old staples. Tackled homemade fries as I wrote this out and so far so good (whoo!).

Right now I'm aiming for a healthier weight and to exercise a bit more (I've been starting slowly as per my doctor's suggestion). I'm technically at a "normal" weight at the moment but it's at the very low end (only a step to the right from being considered underweight) so I want to gain a bit more. 2000 calories per day to achieve this goal... let's do this! ;) As for still being sick, I'm hoping that I am able to eat a bit more now that I'm off my bland diet. My next doctor appointment isn't until late April so let's hope I gain at least 5 pounds in the meantime. And, don't worry, I don't obsessively check my weight. I do it once every couple of days (no more than twice a week) to make sure I haven't lost more weight in the process. I (thankfully) still hold a healthy image about weight. I wouldn't even bother weighing myself or counting calories if I wasn't asked to. lol.

Have I thanked y'all for all of your prayers the last couple of months? No? Well, thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I know some of you have messaged me throughout the last couple of months (and especially the last two weeks) and I firmly believe that I've found strength and peace of mind because of them. Just one more: THANK YOU!

What else is going on? Lent has been both a success and a failure thus far. Blargh. Why a failure? Because I haven't been able to not fast or to not eat meat on Fridays. I hopefully will this coming Friday but thus far, failure. Not to mention that it hasn't been overall hard for me since all I "gave up" were non-Catholic books. I have four books going on simultaneously (Interior Freedom by Fr. Jacques Philippe, Preparation for Death by St. Alphonsus Maria de Liguori, A Lenten Journey with Jesus Christ and St. Therese of Lisieux by Fr. John F. Russell O.Carm, and the Catechism of the Catholic Church) but I'm enjoying myself. It's not a challenge. In this way I feel like I've failed. However, it's still early enough that I can fix this.

What I ended up deciding to do (with the help of my confessor) is to give up my time spent online; especially on Fridays when I can't skip on not eating meat (while I try to figure out non-meat items that I can eat without problems on Fridays). I will most likely continue to give up my time on social networks after 12:00 p.m. on Fridays throughout Lent (even when I don't eat meat) because it'll be hard for me. I'm not addicted to social networks but I do spend quite a bit of time on them (especially twitter) so it'll be good for me to cut back on that and focus on my main guy (God).

Successes thus far include the end of the 54 day Rosary novena. I'm not calling victory yet as I'm not done, but the last day will hopefully be on Friday so I'm almost there. It's been a struggle. I've had some hard days that have produced "maybe you should give me" thoughts... which are quickly followed by "get your butt behind me, Evil One... I'm finishing this thing!" It's good to use my stubbornness productively. lol. It's become such a big part of my day (included in my nightly prayers) that I feel like I'm going to have to get a new novena (quick, someone send me a big intention that requires a novena!) so that I don't feel it as much as I think I will when it's over. Is it possible to be addicted to novenas? If so, no one get me help! lol.

Anyway, the local parish has confessions on Tuesday evenings so I'm going to stop writing so I can do some vacuuming before I go. I want to go to Mass, stay for confession afterwards, and then spend some time in front of the tabernacle before I put myself to bed at 8-9 p.m. Since Pope Benedict XVI's last Papal Audience will be shown live on EWTN at 1 a.m. PST, I want to get a nap in before it happens. I get up at 4 a.m. regardless (to drive my mother to work) but I still want to get a bit of sleep in so I'm not a complete zombie tomorrow. I already warned my family I will most likely be in tears so they've been warned if they hear me reaching for tissues at that time. lol.

That's it for now. I hope y'all are having a good start of week thus far. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless. :D

Suddenly Very Grateful For My Reversion

I was originally planning on writing about the huge music overhaul I've been doing but I am not done with yet. Seriously, I'm still stuck with the "E"s and I'm going by alphabetical order. This is what happens when you're a mega music nerd and you buy music (mp3s, vinyl records, CDs...) like crazy. Or used to. Yes, my addiction to iTunes has been curved by the discovery of Spotify. I don't really indulge myself in it as much (okay, buying guitar strings for my acoustic guitar does not count) but I still have years worth of "damage" to sort through. In the mean time, you're going to get this...

I am suddenly very grateful for my reversion. This is connected to the original Music Monday post (which I hope to have up next month), too. See, I was going through the songs and I came across the song "Night and Day" sung by Ella Fitzgerald. This song has a special place in my heart because it was the first song a young man ever dedicated to me. We were 16-17 years old at the time (yes, we were into this kind of music even that far back). Technically, he dedicated the Frank Sinatra version but the song itself reminded me of him. Long story short, the world is small and I ended up finding out that we're still somehow connected. That led to a couple of hours of catching up on how he's been doing... and a realization that I am completely blessed to have reverted back to the Faith a couple of years ago.

Now, this isn't me saying that the guy is horrible or anything like that. He's still the same guy goofy guy I remember from our teenage years. The memories I have of him still bring a smile to my face. While it's doubtful that we'll ever have the friendship we had a decade ago (I'm happy to use the phrase "too religious" to describe myself in this case), it's nice to stroll down memory lane. He was a solid friend (especially when my boyfriend at the time wasn't the nicest) and I thank him for that. However, I remembered what path my life was going in those years and I cringe. Again, nothing to do with my old friend but everything to do with me and my choices and actions in those years.

I can't beat myself up too much over dumb decisions I made as a teenager. If I hadn't committed those mistakes, I wouldn't have learned or grown up. Yes, I cringe and I wish I could erase that part of my past but I can't. Instead, I become aware of where I was and where I am now. I can give thanks to God for not giving up on me and for helping me get my life back on track. Things weren't as bad as they sound. The worst thing I did was probably lie in order to fit in (which itself is horrible; I now I detest lying with every fiber of my being) but I am still disappointed in teenage Emmy. However, teenage Emmy turned into adult (with an inner goofball kid) Emmy and she is happy about how things have turned out.

Would I trade my anxiety and my current stomach problems for my life pre-reversion, when I almost never got sick? Never. It's times like this that I am reminded of how lucky I am (sick or not) and how would never trade my life then for my life now. I may not be exactly sure of what God wants me to do (still sort of in post graduation limbo despite my freelance work) but I know that I trust Him to guide me down the path He wants me to take.

Anyway, just random blog post. I'm sure I've written another one like this before but it's been a while and I just wanted to reiterate my love for and gratefulness to God.

And now, I'm going to go listen to the Frankie Valli & the Four Seasons songs I have and see if any of them need to be purged. ;)

As always, thanks for reading and God bless. :D