I've Made Some Big, Life-Changing Decisions

As you can probably guess from the title, I've decided to share some pretty big decisions that I've made over the last couple of weeks. These decisions range from changes in my career, residence, and some other faith related changes.

First, as some of you may know, I recently did a St. Thomas Aquinas novena regarding grad school. If you've read this blog long enough, you know that I had been struggling to figure out what to do about grad school since before I graduated last year. Did I want to follow up my Religious Studies BA with a Master's in Theology? Did I want to follow my dream of being a writer and pursue a MFA in Creative Writing? I was torn between the two and, up until a few weeks ago, I was still undecided. Then I was inspired by the son of one of my dearest friends (Kathryn) to look into becoming a Speech Therapist. Well, I technically had a dream that I was visiting her family and had told her that I wished I was a therapist so I could help her, but it was enough to trigger the curiosity in me. After one of my Godmothers brought it up (without knowing that I was considering it), I really looked into it and it all sort of clicked for me.

Up until my father's death, I often talked how I had wished I had the stomach to become a doctor or even a nurse. I can handle some things but blood and seeing open cuts and wounds will make me faint. That's why I ruled that out early on. However, I've always wanted to help people out somehow. Then, as I said, it clicked for me. My mom and my uncle have stutters. Three of my best friends have children with autism. This is something I could do to really help people. I definitely have the patience, the heart to help, and it suits my personality. I even checked out my personality profile (I'm an INFP) for kicks and, sure enough, Speech Pathologist is on the list. So, after all of the things I've explained (as well as a lot of prayer), I've decided to change careers. I will always write but I think I'll be more comfortable writing my own novels and articles on the side and have Speech-Language Pathology as my main career.

It wasn't easy to get to this decision. Freelance writing is incredibly unstable. I knew that when I started last year. While I have really enjoyed some of my assignments (I'll always make time to write for H&R Block; side note: my latest post for them was published today), overall, I've been unhappy. I love writing but I figured out a few weeks back that (except for my H&R Block assignments, as well as those I've written for Envoy Magazine), most of my work has left me feeling empty and like I'm wasting my time. I no longer feel as though this is what God has planned for me. Sure, Speech Pathology pays a lot more (which is why I hesitated on the decision; I didn't want to make it based on greed or anything like that) but that's not why I want to do it. I just think that what I have to offer the world would be better spent helping others than writing  about which movies are currently playing "On Demand" for a cable company I personally ditched two weeks ago.

Along with the change of career, I've also decided to relocate. I've been wanting to move out of Los Angeles since, I kid you not, I was about 6 years old and I'll hopefully (finally!) get a chance to as I pursue this journey. All of the grad programs I want to apply to are in colder climates, which works for me; I'm sick of the hot weather. I will apply to a program here as well but I'm considering that as my backup. I am sure God will help guide me exactly where He wants me to be.

All of this has made me rely more on my faith, wanting to do God's will, and take my own feelings out of the equation. I loathe math with every fiber of my being but I'm going to have to get over it because I need at least one more upper division math class to take. As far as schools go, (from what I know) there are no orthodox Catholic universities that offer a SLP Masters degree. Not happy about that (would've loved to have attended a good Catholic uni) but maybe it's what I need to strengthen my faith. Also, a lot of the universities on the top of my list are in very liberal cities, which is going to be fun. Yes, there was a hint of sarcasm when I wrote that last sentence. lol. I definitely have my pick of the university I would love to attend, and the city in which it is in is my ideal to live in, but it's not about what I want. Again, it's about God's will and what He would like me to do. I just have to surrender any selfish desires and trust Him. I'm going to immerse myself in more prayer over the next couple of months (I'll be applying this autumn to begin during Fall 2014) and go from there.

I know that all these changes will alter a lot of things in my life. I will have to leave behind my comfort zone. I'm going to have to challenge myself in ways I wasn't anticipating. Overall, I'm hoping that my resolution to trust God completely and not worry about the future will prove to be a success because, as I wrote last month, it's never been easy for me to completely let go in the past. A new career. A new place to live in (I've lived at the same address for the past 22 years). And I will possibly have to do this by myself, without anyone there to help me. *gulp*

Anyway, just wanted to share this. If y'all can spare a prayer, I'd grateful appreciate it. :D

Sorry for the long post but, well, you guys know I love to write a little too much sometimes. lol.

I hope y'all have a great start of  the weekend. :D If you have any prayer requests, please send them by way. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless!

Divine Mercy Novena, Day Seven

Seventh Day
Today bring to Me the Souls who especially venerate and glorify My Mercy*,

and immerse them in My mercy. These souls sorrowed most over my Passion and entered most deeply into My spirit. They are living images of My Compassionate Heart. These souls will shine with a special brightness in the next life. Not one of them will go into the fire of hell. I shall particularly defend each one of them at the hour of death.

Most Merciful Jesus, whose Heart is Love Itself, receive into the abode of Your Most Compassionate Heart the souls of those who particularly extol and venerate the greatness of Your mercy. These souls are mighty with the very power of God Himself. In the midst of all afflictions and adversities they go forward, confident of Your mercy; and united to You, O Jesus, they carry all mankind on their shoulders. These souls will not be judged severely, but Your mercy will embrace them as they depart from this life.

Eternal Father, turn Your merciful gaze upon the souls who glorify and venerate Your greatest attribute, that of Your fathomless mercy, and who are enclosed in the Most Compassionate Heart of Jesus. These souls are a living Gospel; their hands are full of deeds of mercy, and their hearts, overflowing with joy, sing a canticle of mercy to You, O Most High! I beg You O God:

Show them Your mercy according to the hope and trust they have placed in You. Let there be accomplished in them the promise of Jesus, who said to them that during their life, but especially at the hour of death, the souls who will venerate this fathomless mercy of His, He, Himself, will defend as His glory. Amen.

*The text leads one to conclude that in the first prayer directed to Jesus, Who is the Redeemer, it is "victim" souls and contemplatives that are being prayed for; those persons, that is, that voluntarily offered themselves to God for the salvation of their neighbor (see Col 1:24; 2 Cor 4:12). This explains their close union with the Savior and the extraordinary efficacy that their invisible activity has for others. In the second prayer, directed to the Father from whom comes "every worthwhile gift and every genuine benefit,"we recommend the "active" souls, who promote devotion to The Divine Mercy and exercise with it all the other works that lend themselves to the spiritual and material uplifting of their brethren.

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Divine Mercy Novena, Day Six

Sixth Day
Today bring to Me the Meek and Humble Souls and the Souls of  Little Children,

and immerse them in My mercy. These souls most closely resemble My Heart. They strengthened Me during My bitter agony. I saw them as earthly Angels, who will keep vigil at My altars. I pour out upon them whole torrents of grace. I favor humble souls with My confidence.  

Most Merciful Jesus, You yourself have said, "Learn from Me for I am meek and humble of heart." Receive into the abode of Your Most Compassionate Heart all meek and humble souls and the souls of little children. These souls send all heaven into ecstasy and they are the heavenly Father's favorites. They are a sweet-smelling bouquet before the throne of God; God Himself takes delight in their fragrance. These souls have a permanent abode in Your Most Compassionate Heart, O Jesus, and they unceasingly sing out a hymn of love and mercy.

Eternal Father, turn Your merciful gaze upon meek souls, upon humble souls, and upon little children who are enfolded in the abode which is the Most Compassionate Heart of Jesus. These souls bear the closest resemblance to Your Son. Their fragrance rises from the earth and reaches Your very throne. Father of mercy and of all goodness, I beg You by the love You bear these souls and by the delight You take in them: Bless the whole world, that all souls together may sing out the praises of Your mercy for endless ages. Amen.

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Divine Mercy Novena, Day Five

Fifth Day
"Today bring to Me the Souls of those who have separated themselves from My Church*,

and immerse them in the ocean of My mercy. During My bitter Passion they tore at My Body and Heart, that is, My Church. As they return to unity with the Church My wounds heal and in this way they alleviate My Passion."  

Most Merciful Jesus, Goodness Itself, You do not refuse light to those who seek it of You. Receive into the abode of Your Most Compassionate Heart the souls of those who have separated themselves from Your Church. Draw them by Your light into the unity of the Church, and do not let them escape from the abode of Your Most Compassionate Heart; but bring it about that they, too, come to glorify the generosity of Your mercy.

Eternal Father, turn Your merciful gaze upon the souls of those who have separated themselves from Your Son's Church, who have squandered Your blessings and misused Your graces by obstinately persisting in their errors. Do not look upon their errors, but upon the love of Your own Son and upon His bitter Passion, which He underwent for their sake, since they, too, are enclosed in His Most Compassionate Heart. Bring it about that they also may glorify Your great mercy for endless ages. Amen.

*Our Lord's original words here were "heretics and schismatics," since He spoke to Saint Faustina within the context of her times. As of the Second Vatican Council, Church authorities have seen fit not to use those designations in accordance with the explanation given in the Council's Decree on Ecumenism (n.3). Every pope since the Council has reaffirmed that usage. Saint Faustina herself, her heart always in harmony with the mind of the Church, most certainly would have agreed. When at one time, because of the decisions of her superiors and father confessor, she was not able to execute Our Lord's inspirations and orders, she declared: "I will follow Your will insofar as You will permit me to do so through Your representative. O my Jesus " I give priority to the voice of the Church over the voice with which You speak to me" (497). The Lord confirmed her action and praised her for it.


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Divine Mercy Novena, Day Four

Fourth Day
"Today bring to Me those who do not believe in God and those who do not know Me,

I was thinking also of them during My bitter Passion, and their future zeal comforted My Heart. Immerse them in the ocean of My mercy."

Most compassionate Jesus, You are the Light of the whole world. Receive into the abode of Your Most Compassionate Heart the souls of those who do not believe in God and of those who as yet do not know You. Let the rays of Your grace enlighten them that they, too, together with us, may extol Your wonderful mercy; and do not let them escape from the abode which is Your Most Compassionate Heart.

Eternal Father, turn Your merciful gaze upon the souls of those who do not believe in You, and of those who as yet do not know You, but who are enclosed in the Most Compassionate Heart of Jesus. Draw them to the light of the Gospel. These souls do not know what great happiness it is to love You. Grant that they, too, may extol the generosity of Your mercy for endless ages. Amen.

*Our Lord's original words here were "the pagans." Since the pontificate of Pope John XXIII, the Church has seen fit to replace this term with clearer and more appropriate terminology.

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