The Baby, the Nun, and the Weird Noise During the Canon of the Mass

I've been wanting to write about my experience at Mass last Saturday night since Saturday night but since I've been busy, I'm writing it now. I don't think I've ever experienced so much joy and so much... weirdness... during one Mass. I guess I'll start with the good, go to the weird, and go back to some goodness.

The Baby
There is a little 3 month old baby girl whose family usually sits in the front pew or in a pew close to us. She's a gorgeous little sweetheart who loves to smile whenever I wave at her... which is often at least twice during Mass because she likes to look around. She just started smiling at strangers (though I've gotten her to smile for me every time I've seen her) so it's the sweetest thing to see during Mass. I don't think she's a distraction as some may think. While I wait to be blessed with children of my own, I am able to look at her and thank God for the gift of life and the blessing her family has received by her birth. She also reminds me of how important it is to teach children to love and venerate the Church from a young age. I sometimes look at her and my heart says "this is what your vocation will be one day", which brings great joy and peace.

The Nun
This past Saturday, we had nuns in the front pews which made this fangirl squee since we've only seen them during the 6:45 a.m. Sunday Mass. I still have trouble distinguishing orders by their habits so I cannot tell you which order they were. They were in their habits, though, and it made me happy. Anyway, while we were in line to receive communion, one of the older nuns saw the baby girl in her mother's arms and she couldn't stop smiling. When the mother noticed, she turned the baby in order for the nun to say "hello" to her... and the reactions were priceless. The baby girl lit up like I'd never seen her before. She was smiling and laughing and was just radiating joy at seeing the nun. Likewise, the nun had a great smile on her face and was herself radiating happiness. It was the most beautiful sight I've seen in a long time.

The Weird Noise During the Canon of the Mass
The weird part came during the Canon of the Mass. My Spiritual Director (who was celebrating the Mass) was reciting the Eucharistic Prayer when, all of a sudden, I heard a woman sort of humming in an almost taunting tone. It sounded like it came from somewhere near the front of the church but I am not sure. Anyway, it was so weird and so inappropriate that Fr. G looked up and around trying to figure out what it came from. If you know my SD, you know how difficult it is to distract him during the Mass so you know it was odd. After Mass I asked mom if she had heard the noise and she said she had but she heard it as if Fr. G had dropped the paten (which he hadn't), not a humming/taunting sound. Either way, it was a weird noise that had at least three of us heard. *shrugs*

Bonus: The Gift of Tears
As most of you know, I had not been able to receive the Eucharist since the first weekend in June because of stomach issues/restricted diet. Since the doctor told me that I do not have a gluten intolerance, I've been counting down the days until I could receive the Eucharist... which finally happened this weekend. I teared up as soon as Mass started... while I was walking down the aisle to receive communion... while I received it (cue: flood of tears of joy)... and while I was kneeling and praying after receiving it. Words cannot express how ecstatic I was. I just cried and I thanked God for everything He'd done for me up to that point. I felt as if my heart could burst from how happy I was in that moment. When I was finally ready to dry my tears, I looked up and saw that the baby girl was looking at me very closely. It was as if in that moment three things became clear. First, that I became aware of just how much I loved God (even more so than I had previously thought). Second, how much I wanted to receive the Eucharist daily. Third, how much I truly believe, in my heart, that my vocation is of wife and mother... and how much I look forward to teaching my future children about the beauty and love of God and the Church.

So, there you have it. It was quite an interesting Mass and I really wanted to share my experience with y'all. :D

And now I need to go to do some research about Catholicism in England for... something. No spoilers just yet. lol.

I hope y'all are having a great week thus far. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

Epiphany at Church: Married or Single Vocation?

I love when things "randomly" click together, especially when I'm at Church for Mass. It actually happens more often when I go to Mass by myself than when I go with someone. Since my mom worked today, I had to go by my lonesome. Last Sunday I ended up missing Mass because my ride (actually a transportation service in L.A. which I am qualified for) failed to pick me up and then by the time they were going to send someone, it was too late for Mass. Argh, these people. :( Anyway, I was glad that I was picked up (late, but better than nothing) and that I was able to get there in time to get confessed before Mass.

So, why didn't I go yesterday? I did... and we didn't get a chance to confess. For the first time since about October of last year, the confession line was so long, that people worried about whether or not they would get a chance. Sadly, there was only one priest (which could explain the dozen or so people still waiting to confess 15 minutes before time was up) and we were at the very back of the line. Since there was no way I was going to receive the Eucharist (I MUST every weekend) if I didn't confess, I made it a goal to do so before Mass today. Luckily, Fr. Leo let me confess before the last English Mass of the day (the noon Mass) and I was good.

One thing I also got to (quickly) talk about with Fr. Leo was my vocation. I'm going to talk to him about becoming a Lay Carmelite soon, since I am positive that I am not meant for the religious vocation. I wouldn't be opposed to it if I was. :D After my talk with him, while at Mass I realized something that I'd been neglecting to think about... what if I'm actually called to be single? What if I'm so afraid to be alone, or so selfish to want my own family, that I'm failing to see what my vocation could truly be? I'd never really considered it before. I was internally fighting against the thought as it came into my mind.

I considered what I thought, that maybe I didn't think about it before because I was either afraid to be alone or because I'd been too selfish, wanting a husband and children... but then two more thoughts crossed my mind; maybe I've just thought about this (single vocation) because I've already gotten guilt trips about leaving my mom to fend for herself. As I said in my No Dating; Courtship post, the topic of marriage has come up often recently (if I had a penny for every time it came up...) and every time I've felt bad about even thinking about it because I know I'd have to leave my mom and make my own life with my new husband. The thought of being called to be single had crossed my mind, and I had seriously thought about becoming a religious sister for a long time, but I'd always felt like I was called to being a wife and mother. Up until recently, I really felt that that was it for me. Now, I'm not so sure. I'm not sure if my feelings changed because of all the guilt I feel or because it's truly my vocation. As Fr. Leo briefly advised me, I need to really pray hard about this and then get back to him soon. Since he is now my main spiritual adviser (Fr. Stan got transferred to another parish), I'll have to update him with my journey thus far. What I am sure of it that whether I stay single or get married, I will still want to be associated with the Carmelites in one way or another.

I have A LOT to think, and pray, about. Hey, now I have something new to think about when I'm back to school. :D And, speaking of which, I'm off to get my schedule printed and make sure my ride will pick me up on time. I like to over-prepare myself so that I'm not stressing in the morning. First class of the day/school year: Philosophy of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. Whoo-hoo! :D

Hope everyone had a great weekend. :D As always, thanks for reading and God Bless.