Freedom!!... Sort Of.

Hello everyone! No, I didn't forget about y'all. Yes, there were a couple of times when I wanted to write but couldn't. Why? Final project (a 3-week Bible study on the Davidic kingdom covenant), lots of reading, a couple of weekly exams, and then the final exam, which I literally finished 8-9 minutes before it was due last night. Basically, if I could study instead of doing something else, I chose to study. That means I had to decline on a couple of outings, I didn't do much reading for fun, and I was basically glued to the kitchen chair (I study best at the kitchen table). Now I understand why people would tell me that I would no longer have a life once I started grad school. Still, I am done for the next two weeks... sort of.

While I do have a two week break between the end of the Spring quarter (yesterday) and the beginning of the Summer quarter (June 27th), I have a lot of reading to do to prepare for the class. I think it's almost 100 pages or so before then? I already purchased all the books I'll need and I'm going to tackle the readings... next week. I just want to have this week to catch up on sleep and maybe watch some of my favorite Hallmark movies on Feeln. Did I mention I was warned that grad school would mean I'd kiss my free time goodbye? lol.

Even though I don't have much of a break between quarters (the longest is about 3 or 4 weeks in the winter), I've found the program to be very rewarding. My spiritual life has grown in ways I never anticipated. Yes, the program is intense and rigorous; it's not for the faint of heart. They want us to know these things like the back of our hands, which means a lot of reading, a lot of memorizing, and a lot of hard work. I have to get started on paper/projects weeks before they are due. I have to stay on top of the assigned readings, the lecture videos, and the quizzes every week or else I'm doomed. The comprehensible exams at the end are still slightly panic inducing.

Last night, before I took my final exam, I had this moment where I had a mini breakdown in confidence. "What am I doing in this program? I can't do this! Stupid anemia makes it hard for me to remember anything. How am I going to remember anything from weeks ago when I could barely remember when I took those quizzes that same week (or the week after)?!" I quickly looked up the website of the local school that offers an 18-month program to get me back into the SLP field; I was that discouraged. Then I remembered that this was most likely some sort of spiritual attack. I'd been fine before it. In fact, I had never been so sure that this was the path God wants me to take... up until the final exam. Not even the 10 total hours of revision and exam-taking helped.

I had a conversation with God half an hour before I took the exam. I broke down in tears as I said, "I can't do this, God. I can't remember these things. I tried. I tried my hardest and I can't remember most of what I studied. This anemia is just kicking me down. I slept almost 10 hours today and yesterday. I'm exhausted. I can't concentrate. I can't remember. I need Your help. I'm weak but You aren't. You're going to have to do this for me because I just... I can't. I can't do this by myself. If this is the path You want me to take, You're going to have to help me out. If I don't pass this exam... I'll look at something else. Please help me."

I prayed the prayer to St. Joseph of Cupertino. I asked the Holy Spirit and the Sacred Head of Jesus to enlighten my mind. I also bugged the Immaculate Heart of Mary, St. Thomas Aquinas, Pope St. John Paul II (my school's patron saint), Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati, St. Catherine of Siena, and any saints that could intercede for me. I did better than expected on the multiple choice portion of the exam. I have no idea on how I did on the essay portion of the exam -- the hardest part of the exam. I tried. I did my best. Now to wait and see what my final grade will be. After the disaster that was the Fall quarter, I'm admittedly a little nervous because a low grade will disqualify me from the program.

As someone who has struggled with academic pride in the past, last night was a wonderful lesson in humility and a reminder that I can't do things without the help of God. I'm not Superwoman. I'm weak. I need God to help me often. I still have a long way to go in the humility department; something I think many of us will struggle with in one form or another for most of our lives since pride is such an easy sin to fall into. Thankfully, God reminded me that He's there for me when I feel beaten down. I can do all things through Him... and He'll be there when I feel like I can't go further.

Okay, I'm going to keep rambling on so I'm going to stop here. lol.

I hope to write daily (or almost daily) during my break. We'll see how many topics my little fried brain can come up with. lol.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to try to finish a book I checked out nearly 3 weeks ago and is due at the library in about 2-3 days.  I'm about 54% done with it. Hashtag: challenge accepted. ;)

I hope y'all have been well and are having a great week thus far. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

Dear Student Headed Back to a Public or CINO School...

Dear Student Headed Back to a Public or CINO School,

congrats on returning to school this Fall semester! If you're a freshman, good luck on your new journey. If you're just continuing, good luck on the rest of your journey. If you're a senior, you're almost done! It'll go by faster than you'll expect so enjoy every moment. :D

Now that the pleasantries are out of the way, I'd like to address issues I've seen (and, unfortunately, continue to see) as a faithful Catholic at a not-so-orthodox school. It's really hard holding onto your beliefs and/or being vocal about them at a place where Catholicism and/or religion is seen as something that needs reform and/or to be squashed. I saw it when I was at public community colleges (I didn't get a chance to give my pro-life rebuttal in an abortion debate in a Philosophy course despite the pro-choice student having the opportunity to present her side).

As an undergrad, I saw it when I was at a "Catholic" (in name only; CINO) college in which they openly defied documents they signed (and admitted to signing) stating that they could not teach liberation theology, spoke ill of priests, called Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI a "super rat in red shoes", was made to read questionable books and sit through terrible lectures, and suffered through so much crumbs that I've often been told I should write in detail about what I endured (which I will, when it's least expected).

As a post-BA/pre-MS SLP (speech-language pathology) student, I'm still seeing it in a class. Admittedly, it's only been one professor in a non-SLP course because my school (Utah State University; public university) is in "Mormon country" and all my other professors and classmates have seemed more openly pro-life and/or conservative; even more so than at my "Catholic" alma mater.

The point is that, unless you're at one of the wonderfully orthodox Catholic colleges, you'll more than likely encounter the same or similar stories. You will be tempted to stay silent because your professor will allow those with more "liberal" beliefs to speak out while suppressing those who are more "conservative" (the stories I could tell). You may have professors who will give you dirty looks or refuse to let you speak out in class... or even make you cry in class because of their hostility (been there). You will face so many challenges that will make you want to either "tone down" your beliefs and/or simply stay silent. To that I say: don't you dare!

If you're still a theology "newbie" or don't understand the Church teachings regarding some topics (abortion, gay marriage, and celibacy are the big ones that almost always come up), do the research from legitimate theologians and/or Catholic apologists. I was blessed to have a friend, who is also a Catholic apologist, in my corner (as well as other incredibly savvy friends) who encouraged me and supplied me with the knowledge (many times, books) I needed to be able to form the counterargument needed in class. Educate yourself instead of going along with what some professors "teach" you. If it sounds sketchy, look it up yourself. You would (or maybe wouldn't) be surprised at how many of my previously orthodox classmates were taken over to the "dark side" (no, they don't have cookies, either) because they believed that the professors wouldn't lead them astray. It was painful to watch. (side note: although, I'll admit, I did get at least one person out of my alma mater when I did some "underground" work letting friends and classmates know that what was being taught wasn't orthodox).

If you live on-campus or away from home, don't alter your prayer life too much. If you need to do some time management and schedule in some prayer time in the middle of the craziness, do it! Don't say "oh, I'll do it later" because no, you most likely won't do it later. Don't stop attending Mass. Not only is it a mortal sin to not attend Sunday Mass (or Saturday Vigil Mass) without a legitimate reason, it's also going to make it harder for you to keep your faith in one piece. You can say that you're a "strong and faithful Catholic" all you want but college and independence always come with temptations that will attempt to pull you away from God.

I'm going to share something I don't think I've ever shared on this blog (or outside my close circle of friends) before: though I commuted to school, there were still a variety of temptations that popped up. On a number of occasions, I was invited to "hang out" (or, sometimes, straight out getting invited to "spend the night"/"sleep with... for fun; no strings attached") at the apartments of male classmates. A big NOPE. Invites to go out drinking when I was underage? I always passed. (side note: I still don't drink alcohol but that's more because a) I've never been drawn to drinking and b) doctors have suggested I abstain from alcohol for health (anxiety) reasons.) If you're old enough to drink, I have nothing against it; just don't get so drunk that your judgment is impaired. I was one of the fortunate few who was never invited to try drugs but I wouldn't have regardless. Ditching class? Invited to do. Cheat on exams? Definitely had those temptations (but I couldn't/can't). Doing things that would harm me (mentally, psychologically, physically, spiritually) in some way? Had at least one per day.

My tips for staying Catholic in college: If you're able to, attend daily Mass. You don't know what a blessing it was for me to be able to do it whenever I didn't have morning classes. Go to confession as frequently as you need to. Pray the Rosary and/or Chaplet of the Divine Mercy daily if possible. Keep praying throughout the day (when you wake up, at meal times, before bed). Offer up anything that may upset you (I personally used St. Therese sacrifice beads during my time at the CINO college). Do novenas. Surround yourself with other faithful Catholics. Get a spiritual director if you don't already have one. Etc etc. There are so many things you can do to keep your faith intact and so many wonderful people willing to help you along the way. If you stumble along the way, remember that you can always try again. We're human and we will all fail at doing something from time to time but we can always pick ourselves up, confess it (if it must be), and start again.

Also, my personal, "no fail" list of patron saints for students:
- Holy Spirit (especially during exam weeks or hard courses)
- St. Thomas Aquinas (patron of students)
- St. Joseph of Cupertino (patron of exam takers)
- Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati (personal academic patron; died one exam short of completing degree, highly recommended for college students)
- look up the patron of the career you've chosen (i.e. St. Drogo for us SLPs-in-training)

This blog post is getting too long so I'll conclude with this: don't be afraid to speak up about your faith and/or your beliefs. If you don't believe yourself capable of defending your faith, read up on it for the next time. We are called to speak the Truth, even if others don't want to hear it. It may not make you popular in this world, but isn't it our goal to reach Heaven and not please those here on earth?

And with that, I must return to my own studies. I have a couple of things due within the next week and I want to finish them as early as possible (read: I want to have some free time without stressing about meeting deadlines).

Good luck, everyone! Remember to not give up or, as Bl. Pier Giorgio used to say, "Verso l'alto!"

Sincerely,

I Smiled When I Failed

I failed twice in a row and I'm absolutely grateful that I did. That probably sounds weird, doesn't it? I should probably explain my mentality behind this...

As most of you know, I've been back in school for three weeks now. I've had major tests for three of my five courses, with the fourth major exam coming up next week. I've studied to the point where my head aches and my hand hurts from all the note taking. I've given up all socializing so that I can spend my entire day studying. I aced my first exam on Morphology with a 97%. I was so excited. I took my Phonetic test an hour later... and failed. 68%. Ouch. I only had (less than) 24 hours to cram 123 terms for my anatomy exam yesterday. I spent hours doing it. I made my own flashcards (yes, hand wrote all 100+ of them). I went over them a number of times and managed to memorize most of them. Unfortunately, the exam covered most of what I didn't manage to memorize. Of course. 67%. Ouch again. Instead of feeling like a failure, I smiled and shrugged it off. Do you want to know why? No, not because I don't care (the overachiever in me isn't thrilled)... or because I've lost my mind. I did it because I've been trying to trust God more... and that includes being okay with failing once in a while.

I'll be honest here: the reasons why I passed one test but not the other two were very simple: I didn't manage my time right and I overstudied. Boy, did I overstudy. I learned from the gals in the post-baccalaureate program that my professors tend to pick exam questions based mostly on the lectures they give (which I did watch); that reading the textbook is pretty useless. Guess where I focused most of my studying on for one course: the textbook. I had way too much information crammed into my brain that I didn't actually need, which I'm sure meant I confused a couple of things on the exams. Okay, so that's out for next time. Also, I needed more time to study the anatomy terms. I thought I was going to have at least three full days to study for it; I only had less than 12 hours to do it because important things popped up and I simply had no time to study like I wanted. Problems identified and solutions planned.

So, again, why the smiling? Because I saw the whole thing as a metaphor for my life: I've had a lot of "tests" in my life that I've failed but I've always managed to overcome them with the help of God. I handled certain situations in my late teens and early 20s very poorly. Did I give up? No. Did God give up on me when I was being a rotten brat? Nope. When you love something (or someone), you don't give up on it (or them) easily. We as human beings continually fail at doing little things. That's why we have the wonderful Sacrament of Reconciliation. It doesn't mean that we're failures; it just means we have to work a little harder where we have weaknesses. (For the record: the thing that will continuously land me in the confessional is being not completely nice when I feel I'm put into danger by reckless drivers. I don't cuss but... sarcastic remarks can border on my being a brat with lack of charitable words.)

By the way, if you're asking if I prayed to St. Joseph of Cupertino that I pass my exams, I did. Yes, I certainly did... but he's not going to intercede for me if I don't put more of an effort into it. He actually did come through for me with Morphology so he gets props for that! I'm actually happy I didn't miraculously pass because I didn't deserve to pass. I needed to fail so that I could find a better plan of attack for the next couple of exams. I'm not going to give up on finding new ways to memorize things for certain classes, especially now that I have an idea of what the professors add on the exams. Am I going to be bugging the Holy Spirit for a clearer mind for the rest of my program (until May 1st, 2015)? You bet! I'm sure the Holy Spirit and a couple of saints won't mind if I spent a little more time in prayer, asking for their intercession. It'll be a better use of my time than studying things I won't need in exams ;)

I've never been as happy studying as I have been these past three weeks. I've actually caught myself smiling when working on lecture notes, when my hand is cramping and I have to pause the lecture video. I have a real passion for this subject; much more than I ever anticipated. Sure, the work is hard (um, hello, I failed two exams... and I wasn't the only one who tanked them either according to classmates) but I absolutely love it. Even if it means I'm going to have to work even harder, I don't care. I've never felt more sure of my path in life than I do now. I do have moments of doubt ('cause you-know-who loves sneaking those in when you least expect it), but I am trusting God with my path. If I don't end up passing my courses, despite all my best efforts, it's because I'm meant for another path... and I will let God lead me down that path. Still, I feel like this is where I'm supposed to be and I will work as hard as necessary to make sure I achieve my goal (which is a Masters degree in Communicative Disorders aka Speech-Language Pathology). A little hard work never hurt anyone. :)

And that's where I'm currently at. I do have a ton of homework and a big exam for this week and into next week but I will hopefully have a little more free time now that I've figure out what works (less textbook, more lectures) and what doesn't (overstudying textbooks).

Anyway, that's all I wanted to share today. I still have another 20 minutes left of lecture to get through and I want to at least get the notes done tonight so that I can go over them a couple of times before my exam next Tuesday. :) I will try to blog tomorrow but we'll see how I am with time. :)

I hope y'all have been well! If you have any prayer requests, feel free to send them my way. I'm still praying and doing novena despite all the studying I've been doing. ;)

As always, thanks for reading and God bless. :D

Big, Big News!

Where to start with my news...? There's only two big things I'm sharing.

First, sorry for the wait between blog posts. I crammed for a math placement test that I needed to take in order to register for my Fall session courses. I spent Thursday through Monday morning cramming for it because I haven't taken a math class since Fall of 2011. I actually took a harder exam first but it was too hard for me since most questions seem to have been Trig questions... which I never studied that. No, I did not pass it but, considering that it was based on stuff I never studied, I am proud of that 30% I ended up scoring. lol. I took the second (easier) exam about 2.5 hours later and I ended up testing into Statistics, which is the math course I need for both grad school and my SLP certification. St. Joseph of Cupertino's intercession FTW because I stink at math. It's quite tragic. lol. I am now registered for Stats (as well as the others needed for second Bachelor's) as of last night and that's it until I start classes next month. Sort of free time until then.

Why did I say "sort of free time"? Because I may or may not be publishing the eBook version of my first novel on May 2nd and I need to prepare for it. It's not a big deal or anything (... teehee...) and I just want to prepare for it and make sure that everything is set for the big day. Like I said, so not a big deal or anything. I considered shopping it around but saw how hectic my life is about to get with school and I didn't have the time so eBook via Amazon for now. There is a chance it'll also be done in print but I need to work that out with the person who offered so no news on that just yet. :)

And those are my two big pieces of news... for now. lol. I get asked "when is the novel getting published" so often that I had to set a date and stick to it... and now y'all have it. ;) Thanks to everyone who bugged me about it; you finally wore me down. ;)

I should go do something productive now. Maybe I'll read the novel to make everything makes sense. Yes, I shall do that. :D

I hope y'all are having a good week thus far. :)

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

Post Number: 666. Topic: Superstitions.

*cue "Superstition" by Stevie Wonder*

This is a topic I've wanted to write for quite some time because I've seen how many superstitious acts are clumped together with Catholicism... and it's just not right! I am still learning about these things but I'd like to share what I've found in my research. The topic is too broad but I'll try to touch on as many things as I can.

Full disclosure: I grew up with very superstitious parents so it took me a long time to let go of the superstitious beliefs I grew up believing. Unlucky numbers (I hated the number 6), unlucky months (July and August were my worst), etc. It took some time to see that it was the anxiety that was talking and that I wasn't trusting God enough. That and someone once said "luck is for pagans" (which I still laugh over; thanks, Laurence). The deeper I grow in my faith, the less those superstitions make sense. The same goes for my mom. The more she learns, the less she fears and the more she trusts in Him. The number 13? Nope. Black cats crossing my path? I'll stop because I don't to crush the poor animals with my car before going on.

Now, let's get right into the facts. The Catechism of the Catholic Church has this to say about superstition: "Superstition is the deviation of religious feeling and of the practices this feeling imposes. It can even affect the worship we offer the true God, e.g., when one attributes an importance in some way magical to certain practices otherwise lawful or necessary. To attribute the efficacy of prayers or of sacramental signs to their mere external performance, apart from the interior dispositions that they demand, is to fall into superstition." (CCC 2111)

Where to start on the superstitions? Did some of you know that people sweep an egg over a child's body to remove the "evil eye" while praying Our Fathers and Hail Marys (called a "barrida" in Spanish)? Did you know that some people put "eye" bracelets on their babies so that the "evil eye" won't make them sick (called the "Ojo de Venado" in Mexico)? These are amulets though people don't call them that. Did you hear that you must touch a baby if you gush over how cute they are or else the "evil eye" will get them? All Hispanic superstitions. A lot of them involve using prayers to "counteract" the evil. I'm not saying doesn't exist -- it does -- but to do things that people believe will help them make things go their way? I draw the line there. Let's consult the Catechism again, shall we?

"All practices of magic or sorcery, by which one attempts to tame occult powers, so as to place them at one's service and have a supernatural power over others - even if this were for the sake of restoring their health - are gravely contrary to the virtue of religion.... Wearing charms is also reprehensible." (CCC 2117) See? Just say no!

Very devout people are not immune to this. Some believe that wearing the brown scapular 24/7 will save them from the fires of hell, as Our Lady promised. They believe that certain medals have the powers to keep all evil and/or misfortune away. Some ne'er-do-wells wear Rosary beads because they believe it'll protect them while they are up to no good. For students, if you ask St. Joseph of Cupertino to help you pass an exam and you don't study, don't expect to pass. It's one thing to ask for help if you can't concentrate, it's another to think that you'll get your way (without the effort) simply because you prayed for it. Doesn't work that way, loves.

Did you hear about the "Santa Muerte"? It's the "patron saint" of gang-bangers, drug lords, and those generally up to no good. Certain things must be done in order to "ensure" that things go the way people ask. They use Catholic prayers and try to pass it off as a Catholic devotion but it isn't. It's been condemned by Mexican bishops and the Vatican has warned the faithful not to participate in the "devotion."

I know some of you are on the fence about the St. Joseph home selling kits. Personally, I believe these things are superstitious. You're going bury a plastic statue of St. Joseph to help you sell the house? Really? I know blessed items are buried if they cannot be burned, but saying that a statue can control whether or not your house gets sold -- if you do things exactly as directed -- is superstitious.

If you're saying "well, where's the harm in that? It's just silly." Well, if you think it's silly, don't do it. When you participate in superstitious acts you're basically saying that YOU have control over the outcome of certain things instead of trusting God. I'm going to be somewhat bold and say that, in way, you're making yourself an idol by saying that you have some of the same powers God does; that you can control what happens because you had the power to. Trust me, you don't. Sorry but there's only one true God.

As I've said, it's too easy to fall into superstition. We all want things to go the way we want them to and rarely do we just accept that most things won't. We pray because we want things to go our way, and that's the wrong attitude to have. Sometimes we don't get what we pray for because it's not what's best for us. God has amazing plans for all of us yet, let's be honest, we can be impatient and we can be upset when our prayers don't get answered in the way we want them to. What's so wrong with trusting God? What's so wrong with not knowing exactly what's in store for us in the future? Just a few things to think about.

Anyway, that's it for now. I would go on and on on this topic but I have a movie/miniseries date with Julie (and her baby girl, Grace) to get to. OH! And I would like to say that if you do have some superstitions because you have OCD, don't feel about it; that is something you most likely can't control. My prayers will go out for you (and don't forget to ask St. Dymphna for her intercession; she's the patroness of these things).

I hope y'all are having a great week so far. If you have any prayer requests, send them my way.

As always, thanks for reading and God bless!

The Lone Ranger Plus One

I've often called myself the "Lone Ranger at (my) CINO college" because I don't often meet other students who share the same beliefs as I do. I had a few friends like that last semester, and we didn't really get our little group together until the last third of the semester, but some of the gals left and the others are taking different classes for their non-Religious Studies major. This semester I'd gone back to being the Lone Ranger in my Religious Studies courses but I feel more confident speaking up so it wasn't as daunting as it had been during the Fall. Most of my classmates seem to agree with my professors' liberal agenda and no one else has dared to question them. Well, that was the case until this morning. All I did was make the decision to study in the cafeteria instead of the library or the commons. I believe God took care of everything else.

As I've said, it looks like the general consensus seems to be that my professors are absolutely brilliant and that they know everything; everything they teach is right and should be accepted as is. Now, I'm not saying that they aren't intelligent women. They definitely know their material but it also doesn't mean that it's always compatible with the Catechism of the Catholic Church. A lot of what is taught isn't (and I've had one professor acknowledge that, though she is required to teach what the Church's stance is on a number of issues, she doesn't because she isn't in agreement with "them") and that is when I have my "issues" with them. I don't think I know more than they do, because I honestly don't, but I know enough to know what is and isn't true in regards to the teachings of the Church. I do agree with them when they say that women and minorities should be treated with more respect. I also agree that it's important for us women to be well educated. That kind of "girl power" I'm totally on board with. It's when it goes to the extreme that we once again clash. There is one class in particular that I don't speak up as much as I do in the others because of the professor's reactions... and it is that class that is bringing some of us "traditional conservatives" together.

I'd just finished my breakfast and was getting ready to take my first exam (I am lucky enough to be able to decide what time I do my exams) when a classmate found me sitting in the cafeteria and asked me if I was done studying. I was but something told me to stay for an additional half hour. It turned out to be the best decision. We studied briefly together, quizzing each other on specific terms and ideas, and that eventually led to our talking about our beliefs. Guess what... there's more of us out there at the CINO college. And so it became the Lone Ranger plus one.

The thing I have to remember is that I can't stay silent about my beliefs. As much as I hate arguments and as much as I try to avoid them, I just can't sit there and "look pretty" while someone bashes Catholicism or says something blasphemous. I'm too passionate about the Truth to not share it. Unfortunately, I think there are too many of us (and I include myself because sometimes I don't feel courageous enough to say certain things) are too intimidated by certain professors so we stay silent. I keep wondering how many of "us" there are at the CINO because we all seem to be hiding in the shadows. I hope that our little group of two will grow as the semester goes on because I truly believe that we need to have that kind of support system, especially at a college like ours.

One good thing about this new friendship (or partner in crime if you want to think of it that way, lol) is that it'll help keep me charitable in my thoughts and words when thinking and speaking about my professors. I've been trying really hard not to call my nun prof the "heretical nun" (last priest I confessed this to laugh while shaking his head) and to be generally kinder despite what they may say and/or teach. I managed to do that today when speaking to my classmate about what goes on in her class. I can easily "go there" (I can be fluent in sarcasm if I allowed myself) when all the buttons have been pushed repeatedly but I'm getting better at it. By the way, I didn't trouble with this until I got to this school so I hope I can keep myself out of trouble. You know... not having to confess this regularly, though I will every time I do it. To quote a professor when speaking about me "the Catholic guilt is alive and well" within me. ;) Also, we both prayed for the intercession of St. Joseph of Cupertino prior to the exam. I don't think I've ever prayed with another classmate, in school no less, so I'm terribly excited about that too. :D Thank you, God, for answering my prayers of finding more like-minded people at the college.

Anyway, just wanted to say that if you're in the same situation as I am, you are not alone. I believe there are many of us in the same boat. All we have to do is stay firm in our beliefs and we'll eventually find others who feel the same way. :)

I'm functioning (if you want to call it that) on 3 hours of sleep so I will stop here. I'm sure I repeated myself and possibly rambled on. If so, I'm sorry. lol. :D I hope everyone has a great weekend.

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D

Transfer Application Tango and Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati.

It's the time of the year when high school seniors and transfer students are doing the transfer application tango. Of course it's not called that but I like to call it that. Don't ask me why, I just do. lol. Anyway, as some of you (who have read this blog for over a year) know, I went through this process last year. Unfortunately, plans change (when do they not?) and I must go through this again. The good news is that I'm a lot more prepared than I was last year. I'm basically done with all my core requirements and have even got all but one or two of the lower division requirements completed. One of those requirements that I need I'm currently taking (Philosophy of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam -- or, as I call it, Phil. of Monotheistic Religions) so I'll be free to take my Creative Writing lower division requirement (last one I need) next semester. "But wait, aren't you just majoring in Religious Studies?" you may ask. Well, no. I'm technically double majoring in Religious Studies AND Creative Writing. If I end up at one of school I'm applying to in L.A. I'll be able to do both without much trouble. If I end up at my dream school (yes, I decided to apply despite protests and guilt trips from my mother)), I'll have to either focus on one of those OR opt to merge them together and major in Religion, Literature, and the Arts. Yes, that's the official title of it. I have a lot of options, which I'm really excited about.

I'm also excited that I dropped my Biological Psychology course. Had I mentioned that before? I don't remember. Anyway, I had to drop it. I had begun getting chest pains (and scary ones at that) because the class really stressed me out. The professor was kind of nutty so I decided to take it next semester with another professor. It all works out because I needed two more courses to be considered a full time student next semester and now I have one less to worry about. Of course I ask for saints intercessions when it gets tough but this was one class I just couldn't handle because of the professor's unrealistic expectations.

I ask St. Joseph of Cupertino whenever I am nervous about an exam (which has been twice so far) and I've done very well. St. Thomas Aquinas also gets props because I ask him to intercede for me when I'm at a loss for words in my Philosophy course. Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati is going to be my transfer application patron saint. Why did I choose him? Because a) the way he lived his life inspires me to become a better person, b) he was my age when he went up to heaven, and c) he never got to finish his degree. In fact, he was just about to finish his degree to become a mining engineer when he contracted poliomyelitis and passed away. Since it's taken me this long to finish my own degree (due to illness and taking care of my father for all those years), I thought it was appropriate to ask for his intercession during this process. I'm not going to ask that, through his intercession, I get into my dream school. That would entirely too selfish of me. I'm going to pray that I get into the school that I will learn the most from; where I will be able to help others better. Of course, I want to go to my dream university but if it's not where the Lord wants me, then I won't go there. At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I'm leaving it all up to God. May I go and do according to His will, not mine.

You know what? Since I wrote that blog about enjoying being single and giving my heart to God for safe keeping, things have gotten much better. Everything is falling into place. I am less worried about a lot of things. I've been able to enjoy my friendships (with both my girlfriends and guy friends) a lot better. I can see some of my friendships coming to an end, and I'm sad about that, but I can also see why it would be for the best. Leaving it all up to God, yet trying to live my life as best as I can and never giving up on my dreams, is something I should've done a long time ago. *content sigh*

Alright, that's it for now. I'm going to go take a test for my Interpersonal Communication class... two weeks early. Yes, it's not due for another 2 weeks but if I can get it done today I can read the two chapters on Judaism assigned for my Philosophy course. It's all review for me since I've taken similar courses but I still love any excuse I can get to read the Old Testament and then see how various textbooks (authors, really) interpret it. :D And now I'm stalling. lol.

I hope everyone had a great week and weekend. Fingers crossed that I can make it Mass later today (if I feel well enough to walk two miles two and from the nearest parish). As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D



P.S. The book reviews on the Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati books are coming soon. Seriously. Just let me get through the next couple of days (up to Wednesday, max) of class lectures so I can focus solely on the reviews.

St. Joseph of Cupertino is Awesome (Prayer Included)!

I didn't even plan to write my first blog back from my hiatus (I am free from homeworkland!) on St. Joseph of Cupertino's feast day but it all happened that way. I think it's entirely appropriate because thanks to him, and Joe of Verbum Veritatis, I was able to test out of that dreadful math course I was taking. For those of you who are from outside the U.S. and Canada and are wondering why the heck I'm taking a math course when I'm specifically studying Religious Studies, Philosophy, and Literature... well, to put it simply, it's part of our lower division requirements. We're all supposed to get a general education which involves subjects like math, science, speech, etc. Math and science, which are my least favorite subjects, are the last things on my list to be able to transfer elsewhere and to move onto upper division courses in which I will focus on my major. I don't mind science too much, and the Biological Psychology course isn't that bad - though I could do without their trying to get me to support stem cell research (not gonna happen, buddy!) - but math... *shudders*. Since it has been years since I last took a math course, I was stuck in an algebra class. The first two weeks of school I sat there and yawned the entire 2.5 hours I was stuck there. I kept telling myself "Hey, I know this stuff... why do I have to suffer through this again?" Luckily, thanks to the intercession of St. Thomas Aquinas and St. Joseph of Cupertino, the head of the assessment center allowed me to take the exam to see if I could test out of math. This was very difficult, and had actually attempted to do the same thing last year but they wouldn't let me, so the fact that I was given the opportunity was a miracle. They very rarely bend the rules like this for anyone.

As soon as I found out I has a chance to take the test, I took action. I was already on the first day of my twitter-facebook hiatus so I knew I would have time to study. I had forgotten a lot of the things I learned in high school so I called Joe and asked him to tutor me. (It helps when you have fellow Catholic friends who are majoring in Math. lol.) We set up a time and place (btw, Joe is awesome for driving an hour out to where I live!) and he helped me remember things I had forgotten. After nearly 3 hours of going over algebra equations (oy!) I was confident that I would do well on the test the next day. The next day comes and I completely blanked on everything again. Even up to an hour before I went in to take the test, I could not remember anything. I asked St. Joseph of Cupertino, who is the patron saint of exam takers, to please help me out. All I wanted was to test out of that dreadful algebra class and move onto Statistics next semester. My mom actually asked St. Joseph of Cupertino the same thing while I was taking the test, and you know a mother's prayer/blessing is worth a lot. :D As the test went on, I started remembering everything I'd gone over with Joe the day before... and memories of HS teachers writing things on the board a decade earlier. An hour and a half after starting the test, I got the final result: I not only passed, I was only 2-3 questions away from testing straight out of it. Having to take a semester of math (a class I didn't take in high school) is way better than the entire school year plus the Winter break of math. I was so happy, I yelled "Thank you, God!" in the assessment center, making the student workers laugh. I specifically asked St. Joseph of Cupertino to at least get me into the class I needed to be done with the math requirement next semester... and I did. See? He will totally help you out if you ask him to help you on your exam. Of course, don't expect him to help you ask for his intercession only because you are too lazy to study. Prayer and studying is the magic combo. :)

And, in case you need the prayer to St. Joseph of Cupertino for your exams, here it is (and be sure to tell others of this prayer when he intercedes for you):

O St. Joseph of Cupertino who by your prayer obtained from God to be asked at your examination, the only preposition you knew. Grant that I may like you succeed in the (here mention the name of Examination eg. History paper I ) examination.
In return I promise to make you known and cause you to be invoked.
O St. Joseph of Cupertino pray for me
O Holy Ghost enlighten me
Our Lady of Good Studies pray for me
Sacred Head of Jesus, Seat of divine wisdom, enlighten me.

Now I am free to not study math again until October when I'll be taking an 8 week course to help me strengthen my math a little more so I can kick tush in Stats next semester. Yay! Now all I will have to do is worry about Biological Psychology, Philosophy of Monotheistic Religions, and Interpersonal Communication. Bio Psych is the only one that makes me procrastinate but it's not that bad. :) To be quite honest, I'm more worried about how often my fellow classmates use the Lord's name in vain and how horrible the wardrobe choices other female classmates make than I am about my classes. I will write more about that hopefully tomorrow. *sigh* 15 Units (did I mention that I'm also taking a career planning course over the weekend for fun?)... this is my record and I hope to make it out alive at the end of the semester. lol. :D

I think I'm going to go look into the application process for Oxford right after this. Yes, THAT Oxford University, in England. It's a long shot (I have a better chance of striking it rich) but it won't hurt to apply. A former English/British Literature professor encouraged me to apply so I am going to. Wish me luck! :) Alright, that's all for now. I am going to go look at the international students requirements before my big brother (the one closest to me in age) comes over to check up on me. I wonder what the odds are of him not teasing me this time. Probably slim to none. lol.

I hope everyone had a great week! As always, thanks for reading and God Bless.

Almost Back -- Update

I'm just checking in so no one worries. All is fine -- just swamped with homework. Isn't this typical the first couple of weeks? I will officially be back tomorrow (on twitter and Facebook as well) with a new blog post. I'm sorry it's taken me 2 weeks to write anything new but school's been crazy and I'm still trying to get used to my new schedule. I plan on being done with most, if not, all of my tests and homework tonight so I can focus on writing new blogs tomorrow and for the next couple of days. :D There is A LOT I want to write about thanks to all the news we've been getting via the Vatican.

Oh, and -- exciting news -- I was able to test out the math class I was taking so no more worries about that! Whoo! I'll write more about that -- and about St. Joseph of Cupertino is awesome! -- tomorrow. :D

Now, back to the world of Biological Psychology. :D Hope you're all doing well.

God bless,

Back to School With Prayers, Saints, and Faith.

*Picture: Textbooks for my Biological Psychology, Interpersonal Communication, and Philosophy of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam courses. St. Dymphna prayer card on top of Bio. Psych. book; St. Thomas Aquinas prayer card on top of Phil. book. Yes, I purposely put each saint on book that relates to their patronage.*

First off, I just want to say a big "Thank you!" for all the positive (and one not so positive) feedback on the last post I wrote on being single. I got a couple of messages on here, a couple on twitter, etc. It makes me happy to know that some of y'all enjoyed it and/or that helped you in some way, no matter how small it might've been. :D

Now, I'm sure the following topic is one that most students dread after a long summer vacation: Returning to school and classes. I'm actually both very excited and slightly nervous about going back to school. This post is already sounding a little like last year's, isn't it? lol. Well, I'm not as nervous as I was last year because I was able to make it through the last semester with NO ANXIETY (first ever since I was 15 and newly diagnosed with anxiety disorder) and the entire school year without dropping any classes. Yes! It definitely gave me confidence about the rest of my career as a student. I still give a lot of credit to St. Dymphna for always listening to my prayers, and St. Thomas Aquinas and St. Joseph of Cupertino for their help/intercession during the school year. By the way, you can find the student prayers to both St. Thomas Aquinas and St. Joseph of Cupertino here. I will bring them (saints and prayers) up again around midterm and finals so y'all can find them if you don't bookmark the page now.

Last year was the most successful year I've had in a long time. I intend to pray as much, if not more, than I did last year. Since I have time between my Philosophy course and the "staff" meetings for the school's literary magazine (side note: yes, I'm once again working on it except that this time I'm doing it as a way of saying 'thank you' to my former English Lit prof. and not for credit), I hope to be able to go to a nearby parish. I don't know why but there's just something I love about going to church during the week, even if there is no Mass being said at the time. *shrugs* I will definitely be there during midterms and finals week because it's when I'm most stressed. I've made it a goal to go back to school with a lot of prayers, saints (either in the form of reading books on and/or by them or by asking for their intercessions) and a lot of faith. I have a feeling my course load will require me to be on the "defense" when it comes to my faith... especially in my Philosophy course.

As a Religious Studies major, I take at least one Philosophy course per semester (two last Spring). This semester I'm doing one on the three monotheistic religions: Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. I hope I won't have to do as much defending of Catholicism as I did last year but most likely I will. Last semester I won my battle in one of Philosophy courses (Philosophy of World Religions) and no one bashed Catholicism after a while. In the other course (Ethics), the professor just quit giving wrong information on Catholicism because he knew that my friend/classmate/fellow Catholic, Elizabeth, and I would immediately correct him or make comments on what he was saying. And we sat right in front of him, too, with our rosaries and miraculous medals in full display. lol. (side note: He was a Unitarian minister). I will not stay quiet and let someone drag our religious through the mud, especially if it's based on misinformation. I think I'm a little more prepared than I was last semester to face whatever Catholic bashing might come so... BRING. IT. ON! lol.

I'm going to have one packed course load this semester, but I'm SO EXCITED! My courses this semester are as follows:
- Philosophy of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam
- Biological Psychology
- Interpersonal Communication (Part Two)
- Mathematics.

I'm going to definitely pray I don't suffer through my math course because it's, without a doubt, my worst subject. lol. I haven't taken a math course in years (yes, seriously) but it's a requirement so I must. I actually have to take math the entire school year so... *groan* Luckily I love all my other courses (well, love what we're supposed to learn in each class) so I hope it all balances out. Did I also mention that I'm joining a couple of clubs (not counting the Literary Magazine)? Yup. I want to be able to really experience college now that I don't have as many restrictions as I had in the past.

I'm actually pretty introverted at school (stems from my being humiliated in front of my peers, by a teacher no less, in high school) so it will good for me to be a little more social. One of the clubs is also for students who are Christians and Catholics so it'll be good. No Newman Centers at either of the schools I'll be attending, since they're community colleges, but I'll try this club/group. Last year they held movie festivals (for movies such as Facing the Giants) during the Fall, which was pretty cool. I am also prepared to set anyone's preconceived notions of Catholicism straight. I won't getting into heated arguments over it (I tend to avoid that with non-professors, lol), but I will try to clarify things to them. Maybe if I do these things, less people will talk ill about the Church or its members. It might be a pipe dream but I'll hold onto it. :)

Alright, well, I should probably go get my class things in order so that I can just wake up on Monday morning and go to class, unstressed. *fingers crossed* I'll be sure to take my prayer cards with me, as well as a Rosary, in case I feel a bit anxious. :) I hope that everyone that's going back, or has gone back, has a successful school year... and that we Californians don't suffer too badly with all the budget cuts the Goverantor made. That's a whole 'nother rant y'all don't want to hear. lol. ;)

Okay, I'll be quiet now. :D Thanks for reading and God Bless!

Final Exams; Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati's Intercession; And... Break!

First post as a 24 year-old. I actually do feel different (and I have to mention this because I've been asked) but I'm not entirely sure it's in a good way. I've been going through a sort of funk lately. I feel disjointed... not at all like myself. I haven't been acting very like myself, either. It's hard with everything that's going on. I've tried staying very optimistic but there are people who just LOVE to rain on my parade. One minute I'm okay, joking and acting normal (well, normal for me), and the next I'm completely bummed out because someone has to dampen my spirits. The whole thing has me on a roller coaster of emotions, which I hate. It's completely unhealthy, which is why I'm going to take a mini-vacation starting tonight. More on that later.

For everyone who is beginning their finals or about to take them, I say GOOD LUCK to y'all. I just did my English final this morning. We were supposed to do it next Monday and the professor acknowledged that she messed up the dates but she still made us get up early and do the final nearly a week early. A lot of my fellow classmates were on the verge of ganging up on her. I'm pretty sure she heard me say that we should protest. lol. Well, that's one less final I have to worry about. I have my final Speech assignment due tonight. My Philosophy of World Religions course (which, as I wrote for my final assignment, made me extremely proud to be Roman Catholic -- I'm in the right religion. lol) is having the final on Friday. My final exam will be for my Philosophy of Ethics course and that's next Monday. I will then hand in my pro-life/anti-abortion research paper. I combined the speech I wrote earlier in the semester against abortion and I added more things to it -- including snippets from mini interviews I did with various people. I'm very proud of it. :D It's too long to post it on here but I might add snippets of it at a later date. And for those of you who need an extra something... you can always pray for the intercession of St. Joseph of Cupertino (patron saint of exam takers; students) and St. Thomas Aquinas. Go again and click the link, it has the prayers you need. :D

Now onto something I'm going to ask y'all to help me out with. As I've written before, Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati has had a great, positive impact on me. Today (actually, at 5 P.M. PST), his niece, Wanda Gawronska, and the founder of FrassatiUSA, Christine Wohar, will be speaking on him on EWTN Live. Uh, I'm so watching it. lol. I still have the book reviews on the books his sister has written which I hope to post as soon as I finish my finals. So what exactly do I need help with? Well, I've decided to ask for Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati's intercession for my father. If we get the miracle, I am willing to report it and further the cause for his canonization. I've been thinking about it for some time now and something finally clicked to do it. So, if y'all can please help me out by praying for his intercession, I'd greatly appreciate it. The doctors are giving dad 8-9 months to live... and that's without the chemotherapy which they are delaying way too much. (I'm currently in a fight with them over the chemo which they are refusing to give him.) I just want my dad to be around long enough to walk me down the aisle when I get married (someday in the future...). If you're in, please let me know.

Alright, I think that's enough for now. Going back to my mini-vacation thing... except for online exams and assignments I have to do, I will be M.I.A. from the 'net. Sometimes I say that but then come back 2-3 days later. Not this time. I am serious about praying for dad so I am going to remove me from the online world (as well as giving up a few things I love for a couple of months) and just dedicating myself to prayer and reflection for the next week. I also need re-evaluate a couple of things (and friendships) in my life. I'm going to make the most of this time... and I'll be able to since I'm ready for my exams and therefore unstressed. I'll be back next Wednesday.

So, that's it. I'm going to go watch the Daily Mass and then Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati special on EWTN. :D As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D
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Bus Adventures; Midterms; Transfer Decisions; Music Monday.

If there is one thing about taking public transportation, it's that you never know how your trip will go. I have been relying on L.A.'s massive public trans system to get everywhere, for the past week. Dad's out of the country... and he took the car keys so no one would use either of the cars while he's gone. Pfft. Anyway, I've had my fair share of bus adventures... though I don't know if any could top the ones I had on Saturday and today.

On Saturday, we took the bus to Sherman Oaks (where I did some of my growing up) to go shopping for a while. On our way back home, we encountered the rudest bus driver I've ever seen. A mentally disabled man passed by and tapped his card (we use TAP cards when we take multiple buses throughout a period of time) twice (on accident). When he figured it wasn't working, he went back to his seat. The bus driver, who already looked like he was in a bad mood, tried to explain to the man about the card but the man was focusing on getting to his seat so he missed the convo. The bus driver then started calling the man a *bleep*h*le and basically humiliating the poor guy. When the man said he was mentally disabled, the bus driver said "yeah, no kidding!" Completely uncalled for and all. The guy went up to the bus driver and showed his disabled card... but still continued to berate him with a number of profanities. I took the bus driver's number and info, all while the driver glared at me with a menacing look. I don't care how much you try to intimidate me, I'm reporting your butt for being such a punk.

Today's rides were interesting. I had no less than 3 former classmates in the same bus coming home from school. All 3 were guys I went to school with prior to the age of 13 so it was interesting to see them again. They all looked at me like "... do I know you...?" but two of them didn't say anything. Now, I don't know who thinks it's a good idea to divulge so much after not seeing someone for the past 12 years, but it's not a good idea to do so. Asking me for my number, after you tell me (with pride) that you just got out of jail and that you fathered a child at 15, won't get you that number. I don't care if we were in the same 5th grade class, it's just not gonna happen, kid. I've had some interesting experiences with guys on buses but this one takes the cake. Where's my bodyguard when I need him? lol. Oh, and did I mention that prior to all of this, the bus driver to school nearly ran over two elderly men... at two different stops? One of those times, the bus came to a screeching halt and all of us were thrown forward. I'm amazed no one got thrown on the floor or hurt in that. I won't be taking public transportation for the rest of the day. lol.

Something I WILL be doing the rest of the day is studying for my midterms. Well, one of them. I have my Philosophy of Ethics midterm on Wednesday. I don't think we have a midterm for English Lit, but we do have an essay due on Wednesday. My Philosophy of World Religions (one of my favorite courses ever) prof. pushed our midterm until after Spring Break. My Speech prof (whom I'm still fighting with) is unclear about the midterm for us but I am ready to take it whenever he gives it to us. I will definitely be saying a prayer to St. Joseph of Cupertino (patron saint of students and exam takers) just because I want to do really well on my midterms and he's come through for me in the past.

Another thing I have to think about in the next few days, and probably ask St. Thomas Aquinas for his intercession, is making my decision on where I'll transfer to. I didn't tell anyone that I'd applied elsewhere as back up options (because I didn't want to jinx it), but it seems I now have options to go elsewhere. I have the option for two universities in England, apparently there's a loophole for UBC (University of British Columbia) since I'd be transferring so that's an option again, as well as two public universities in L.A. I've already nixed going to UBC, even though living in Vancouver is basically a dream for me. I have friends near both schools in England (one near the English countryside, one up north) so that's appealing. If I were to chose one of the schools in L.A., I'd have to change my major to an English (with an emphasis on Creative Writing) major, Religious Studies minor. Or I could just keep going to Mount St. Mary's College. The only thing about that is that, out of all the options, MSMC is the most expensive. Yes, even more so than the unis in England. I just don't know. I have a lot of thinking to do, and only two weeks to make up my mind. If I decide to go to school in England (which I was originally going to do two years ago, before my father's second battle with cancer kept me here), I'll have a chance to check both of the schools out since I have Spring Break starting mid-next week. Also, I have friends who are basically threatening to kidnap me and take me to London (whoo! lol) so it'll work out. We'll see what happens.

Alright before this turns into a novel, I'll stop... but not before Music Monday's video. This is for all of you who are in the middle of midterms. Listen to Dinah Washington and "Relax Max."

Alright, I need to study. *sigh* Just a few more days until Spring Break. I can do it... I can do it... lol. :D Good luck to everyone who has midterms this week and next!

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D
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Long List of Saintly "Thank You"s, Intercessions.

This might be the last post I write this year because tomorrow is usually a really busy day for me -- due to the clean-a-thon. I haven't really started and that will take me a good day and a half if I do it at my usual pace. Since I feel VERY weak and slightly fatigued today (due to a little fasting I did yesterday; I've learned I really can't fast without feeling like I'm gonna pass out within a few hours), I will be doing this a bit slower. Also, my mom's just caught a cold/flu bug so I'll also be helping her clean the house. We like to ring in the New Year with everything in order and as clean as possible. :D Since this is the case, I just wanted to post a long list of "Thank You"s to saints who've interceded for me. It will be extra long, so brace yourselves.

St. Jude Thaddeus: St. Jude's helped me out for years. He was my patron saint during the hardest times of my life, and I believe he was in the saint that got me back to my Catholic roots. I've always been Catholic but didn't always act Catholic (mainly because no one ever bothered to explain to me what was and wasn't part of the Church's beliefs). I credit him for helping me get back into prayer and attending Mass, as well as going to confessions. There's a reason why I head straight for our St. Jude statues whenever there's an earthquake.

Our Lady of Guadalupe: Our Mother in Heaven has been absolutely amazing to my entire family. She's my father's patron saint, along with St. Michael Archangel. What can I say that hasn't already been saint about her? All I can do is express my gratitude to her for all she's done for us, including helping us through my mom's potential breast cancer scare last year. I also have a journal where I write as if I were writing to her, but that's another story... :D That's something you won't see, unlike the little drawing I did of her, earlier this year.

St. Dymphna: Patroness of all who, like me, suffer from anxiety. She's actually brought a lot of new readers to this blog because of a post I wrote, a few months ago, on Catholicism and anxiety. Though she's helped me very much, I believe she's helped me help others who did not know about her and now pray for her intercession. That's a great feeling. :D Any time I feel a really BAD panic attack coming on, I pray for her intercession -- that the Lord hears her own prayers for my peace of mind -- and I feel better not long after. I hope to help promote her intercession for others as much as I can.

St. Timothy: I went through almost 2-3 months of a stomach virus that simply refused to leave my system... until I looked up who the patron saint of stomach and intestinal problems was. When I did, I asked for his intercession and a few days later, I was practically back to normal. :D I am very grateful to him for that, because I landed in the Emergency Room twice (the last two times I was there) because of dehydration from the virus before I asked for his intercession.

St. Martha: This one is for my mom, who works in a subsection of housekeeping (not but exactly housekeeping) at a convalescent hospital. My mom has a HEAVY work load and she gets home completely exhausted every day. One day, I decided to look up the patroness of her line of work. I told her to ask St. Martha for her intercession whenever she had one of those heavy days. She did (and has since). Mom will occasionally tell me how she had a heavy workload and she says "St. Martha, please help me get through this" and the next thing she knows, she's done! She somehow manages to finish everything quickly; the time just flies. So a big thank you to her!

St. Thomas Aquinas and St. Joseph of Cupertino: My academic heroes! Every time I had a hard exam, I asked for their intercessions (St. Thomas Aquinas for a clear mind; St. Joseph of Cupertino for knowledge to pass the exam). I even kept St. Thomas Aquinas' holy prayer card on my desk during a couple of my exams, including my Oceanography final exam (I ended up getting an A in the class for the semester). I also believe St. Joseph of Cupertino also came through for me during my English Lit final because, despite studying for a section that wasn't covered much on the test, I was able to pass it and score a B for the semester. So, THANK YOU!

Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati: I've only been learning about Bl. Pier Giorgio recently, I asked his intercession for absolutely no anxiety during my final exam. I heard students also asked him for help and since I want to submit something to further his case to become an official saint, I decided to ask him for health and peace of mind during finals. I definitely got it. I don't know how but I made it through my final exams with the most relaxed attitude I've ever had. Seriously, I was so zen the entire time, I was very kind of shocked. Of course, anxiety is up now but hey I made it through my finals which is all I asked. :D I am now asking him to help me with something, also school related, and I will let y'all know if he's able to intercede for me. :D

St. Teresa of Avila: Ever since I had that dream of St. Teresa -- before I even knew who she was -- I've felt connected to her. After learning about her, and seeing how much I had in common with her, I felt so much more connected to the Church and the Lord. She started my whole love of learning about saints' lives. (Well, her and Fr. James who said to look them up whenever I dreamt about them). A thank you to her for helping me figure out my career was in writing. :D

St. Pancras of Rome: Got a cramp? Ask for his intercession and it'll go away. He definitely interceded for me when I got that painful charley horse, first thing in the morning, a few months ago. It was the fastest pain relief -- from a charley horse -- I've had.

St. Anthony: He's helped me find things AND I owe him a food donation (he's the patron saint against starvation) to my local parish which I hope to do either later today or tomorrow.

St. Christopher and St. Sebastian: Thank you for not letting Liverpool F.C. lose when I've watched the games! :D (I'm a Reds fan, as was the late Pope John Paul II. :D)

Infant of Prague: Last, but certainly not least, is the Infant Jesus of Prague. I am telling you, every time I'm in a bind and need an urgent intercession, I've done the 9 hour novena and it's always helped me. I definitely recommend it to those of you who are in urgent need.

I would like to end this blog by saying that I am grateful to each and every one of these, and all the rest of, saints for the intercession they've done for me and for others. For those non-Catholics, NO, I am NOT worshiping these saints. Saints intercede for us -- they ask God, on our behalf, to help us through our troubles. I would also like to say that if you ask a saint to intercede for you and he/she doesn't, it doesn't mean it doesn't work. In my experience, you either have to be patient, because not all prayers are answered immediately, or it wasn't in God's will. I always keep in mind that if my prayer isn't answered right away or at all, it's because I HAVE TO endure whatever it is I'm going through in order to learn from it. That's something a lot of people probably don't consider. That is the reason why many prayers conclude with "... if it's God's will."

Alright, I am feeling a little better than I was when I started writing, so I will try to finish my cleaning. Yaay... *groan* lol. In case I don't write another post, I wish you all a WONDERFUL, and safe, New Years! If you're Spanish or Hispanic, don't forget the 12 grapes at midnight -- I know I won't! :D.

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D

I Can Finally Breathe!; Patron Saints; Bon Voyage... But Where To?

I finally feel like I can breathe after weeks of being swamped with so much homework. Whoo!! :D The heaviest parts were finished yesterday. I have to write myself a note not to overload myself like this again. I haven't had time to go get my hair cut. I haven't gone out with my friends in ages. I'm very much a homebody. I mean, I was a homebody before but now I can't even go out if I wanted to. Well, no, I CAN go out but I choose not to because that will only lead to more stress and who wants that? I'm perfectly content staying at home, studying, because I know I will get killer grades at the end of the semester if I keep it up. :) One of my courses, the dreaded Oceanography class, ends in 3 weeks (wow, so fast!) and then I have 3 classes for the remainder of the semester. Say it with me... WHOOOOOO!!! lol. I truly hope that those of you in school are doing well so far. :D

Of course, I owe a lot of my calm nerves to the patron saints of students (St. Joseph of Cupertino and St. Thomas Aquinas) and of course, St. Dymphna (patroness of anxiety). I'm happy to say that the anxiety has been practically gone in the past couple of weeks, perhaps last 2 months. I asked a friend of mine if it was possible to have too many patron saints, and he didn't know so... hmm. I'm still wondering. No one's been able to give me a straight answer yet. I can't pick a patron saint. I have three main saints: St. Jude Thaddeus, St. Dymphna, and Our Blessed Mother. How can I pick when they've done so much for me? I should probably ask one of the priests -- the priest I get -- when I go sometime soon. I still have to go and talk to one of them. I have a lot on my mind. I have so many questions and am in dire need of the kind of advice I think a priest would answer the best. Is it weird that I love having conversations with priests? Seriously, if I could on a daily basis, I would!

Oh... A few months ago, my mother surprised me by saying that as soon as my anxiety had simmered down and as soon as I could prove that I can handle traveling, she'd be willing to pay for a vacation anywhere I'd like to go. I've already gone out of the country but not too far away from home. Everyone's pretty much banking (slang word for: betting on a sure deal) on me going to England. Two years ago, England felt more like my home than my actual home here in California. I have so many wonderful memories from that time in my life. I became addicted to tea during that time; an addiction I still have. lol. I have friends in London and up in Manchester so I wouldn't be by myself while in England. Maybe I'll skip the trip and save up the money for something else in the future. With the way the economy is going, it might be wiser to just save up. We'll see.

Alright, I am going to go shut my eyes for a little while because my eyes hurt and they've gotten worse on a daily basis. I think I need new prescription for my glasses/contacts because I feel better without them on... even though I'm pretty much as blind as a bat without them. lol. I think a prayer to St. Lucy is in order.

Oh, and before I go... I still have plans on writing about St. Therese of Lisieux AND about the golden crucifix dream but I am going to wait until (hopefully) tomorrow because I want to add more to it. :D

I'm going to leave y'all with a video I came across youtube of my favorite scene of "The Bells of St. Mary's". Enjoy! As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D


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Thank you St. Joseph of Cupertino and St. Thomas Aquinas!

I'm in shock, but BEYOND ecstatic! Ladies and gentlemen... I've passed my Oceanography midterm exam! Yes, seriously! I was 2 points from an A as well. I'm truly shocked! I didn't think I would pass the exam because I was so out of it and I didn't even finish the essays because I was so stressed out. But I passed. Thank you, Prof. Dewart! And, a big, huge special thank you to St. Joseph of Cupertino (patron saint of exams/test takers) and St. Thomas Aquinas (patron saint of students). I asked for their intercessions. Really, I asked for at least a low C but they completely came through for me. My confidence just shot through the roof! I was honestly dreading not passing my Oceanography class (which would be a first for me; I'm sort of a nerd, lol) because it's the most intense but I'm so confident that I'll pass it now! :D I feel like doing a cartwheel but I still kind of crummy from the second cold (yes, it's officially the second one) so I'll wait until I get better to celebrate. :D

Oh, and I wanted to share the prayers I said to both saints in case any of you want to use them in the future for your studies and exams.

St. Joseph of Cupertino
O St. Joseph of Cupertino who by your prayer obtained from God to be asked at your examination, the only preposition you knew. Grant that I may like you succeed in the (here mention the name of Examination eg. History paper I ) examination.
In return I promise to make you known and cause you to be invoked.
O St. Joseph of Cupertino pray for me
O Holy Ghost enlighten me
Our Lady of Good Studies pray for me
Sacred Head of Jesus, Seat of divine wisdom, enlighten me.

St. Thomas Aquinas
Creator of all things,
true source of light and wisdom,
origin of all being,
graciously let a ray of your light penetrate
the darkness of my understanding.
Take from me the double darkness
in which I have been born,
an obscurity of sin and ignorance.
Give me a keen understanding,
a retentive memory, and
the ability to grasp things
correctly and fundamentally.
Grant me the talent
of being exact in my explanations
and the ability to express myself
with thoroughness and charm.
Point out the beginning,
direct the progress,
and help in the completion.
I ask this through Christ our Lord.
Amen.

Alright, I have a World's Great Religions assignment to finish... then finish this week's Oceanography assignment... then work on the English Lit critical analysis of "Wife of Bath" by Chaucer... etc. Yes, more school craziness for me. Hopefully next blog I'll be able to share this beautiful dream I had where that involved a golden crucifix I found. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D

P.S. Oh, also a big thank you to St. Therese of Lisieux as well. I had a very bad morning yesterday (health wise) and I prayed for her intercession -- ended up falling asleep and woke up so much better. Have I mentioned how much I love her and her story? That will also be coming up soon. :D
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I'm Alive!!!

Just a quick update to say that: yes, I made it out of my Oceanography midterm alive. Barely, but I did it. I'm pretty positive I didn't pass the exam because it was insane but if I did, it's all St. Joseph of Cupertino and St. Thomas Aquinas who lent me a hand. I was even able to keep a little prayer card of St. Thomas Aquinas on my desk as I did my exam. I flew by the multiple choice questions (which were worth 70% of the grade) but had problems with the 2 essays. Do YOU want to write 2 essays when you can barely remember all the 300 pages worth of data you had to cram in your head all weekend? Yeah, not so much. lol. But, I am ALIVE! Whooo! lol. Okay. This short lived celebration must come to an end. I still have an (online) assignment to turn in to my Oceanography professor and then work on the "Sir Gawain" critical analysis essay I have to turn in tomorrow in English Lit class. *breathes in and out* I will be SO HAPPY when this weekend ends because I'll be able to slow down quite a bit.

And, hey, no anxiety! No panic attacks! Thank you, St. Dymphna! :D

Hopefully I'll be able to write a longer post tomorrow or sometime soon. A BIG THANK YOU to those of you who prayed for me! I greatly appreciate it! :D

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless! :D
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Much Better; Feeling the Love of the Blessed Virgin Mary

I am feeling better today. I missed class yesterday because I woke up feeling very warm (and I was, I checked with a thermometer) and with a headache. Ugh. I honestly like missing class because I feel like I fall more and more behind. There's no way I would've been well in class though. My temperature didn't go down (much) for the rest of the day but at least the headache stopped until about after 1 p.m. But, positive thing, I was able to rest a little (which means faster recovery) and I got to feel closer to our beloved Mother, Mary. :D

I went through a really hard time yesterday morning. I shut the door in my room, knelt down in front of the big Our Lady of Guadalupe and bawled my eyes out. Of course, I also prayed in between sobs. Feeling like crumbs, I somehow found the strength to kneel and stay like that for quite some time. I asked Our Lady to help me understand why some things were said and why I felt the way I did. There was a time when I asked her to please make someone stop saying what they were because it really hurt my feelings, but I ended up changing it to "please help them understand that what that person is saying is very hurtful and doesn't help matters." I honestly felt very alone... and then, a bit later, I had this beautiful feeling like there's no way I'm alone. It's really weird but I felt as though I had our Blessed Virgin Mary there with me. I don't know how many Hail Marys I prayed (I lost count) until I felt better, but I DID feel better.

Every time I go through something where I feel like that -- like I'm alone in this world -- I always pray to her, and to the Lord, to please help me feel like I'm not alone. And every time I ask that of them, I always feel a warmth in my heart that's indescribable. It erases irrational thoughts I have in my head and it makes me feel so much closer to Our Blessed Mother and to Our Lord. It's amazing. I wish I'd started doing this, praying to them, at a earlier age (despite being the youngest of 7, I grew up as if I were an only child)... it would've saved me a lot of heartache. It is definitely something I will teach my (future) children to do. Hopefully they won't stray as I did; though I'm incredibly happy that I found my way back. :D

Alright, well, I'm going to go over my notes for the Philosophy of Logic course because we have a big test due today... then go read Sir Gawain and the Green Knight for British Lit... then try to finish my History of World Religions assignments early... so I can cram for my BIG MIDTERM (oh, how I dread that word) exam for Oceanography. Remember, my Oceanography course crams 16 weeks worth of work into 8 weeks so it's midterm time. *shudders* Prayers to St. Joseph of Cupertino, St. Thomas Aquinas, and St. Dymphna (for my sanity) will be said this entire week. Oh yeah... bring it on! lol.

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D
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Class Surprise: Saints; Personal Message from Pope Benedict XVI.

I'd been nervous about my English (British) Literature course since the minute I knew I would be taking it. Honestly, it's the only course I've been really wigging out over. I don't know why. I know the professor well (she's the BEST professor I've ever had). I was nervous in class; not to the point of anxiety or a panic attack but pretty nervous. I was taking down notes to distract myself when I heard her (my prof.) mention St. Thomas Aquinas and St. Augustine of Canterbury... which just grabbed my attention. See, she was giving us a little bit of a History lesson so we could understand the whole Anglo-Saxon/Norman thing better (trust me, you don't want me to go into that. lol). So she mentioned them and I got very excited... and was even going to correct her about them being Roman Catholic but someone beat me to it. After that, we viewed paintings of the Madonna (the Blessed Virgin Mary... and on her birthday no less!) from the Medieval and Renaissance periods to make one of her points more clear. By that time, the class seemed to go by really fast and I was sad to see it end. I'm now less nervous about the class. Whoo! Who knew that the mention of either saint or of Our Blessed Mother would erase all my nerves in a nanosecond? :D I'm happy now and look forward to class... even if I still haven't finish Beowulf. lol.

I wanted to post a blog about the Blessed Virgin yesterday for her birthday but I was so exhausted. I had such a heavy day that I just got home, jumped on my bed and stayed there until I felted better. In fact, I'm still feeling icky but hopefully it's just the stress. Oy. This is when I'll be asking St. Joseph of Cupertino and St. Dymphna for their intercessions but the stress is big. I am optimistic though. :D *whispers* In any case, please say a little prayer that my anxiety doesn't act up because of the heavy load.

Oh, and before I forget, it was WONDERFUL to wake up yesterday to a personal message from Pope Benedict XVI! All of us who are registered on www.xt3.com (think facebook but Catholic and safe for all ages) received a message from His Holiness in our own inbox. It was awesome, especially for someone like me who was wigging out. lol. If you haven't registered on the site, you can and I believe you can still receive that message that we all got from the Pope. So, what are you waiting for? Go sign up or go check your inbox if you're already a member! :D

Alright, well, I have to go completely my things for Philosophy class because it's due tonight... and then I have to go finish reading Beowulf (have I mentioned that enough times yet? lol) and the intro to Medieval lit in the book before tomorrow morning so... I gotta go. Let the headaches begin! lol.

Hope everyone's having a good start of week. :D Until next time, thanks for reading and God Bless!

P.S. I added some links to the Aquinas and More store in case you ever need something from one of the saints mentioned on this blog. I've always found what I needed at this online store. :D
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Back to School: St. Thomas Aquinas and St. Joseph of Cupertino.

Yes, it's that time of year most student dread: Back to school. It's not as bad as midterms and finals week for us college students but it's up there. I was VERY excited, and very nervous, about attending my first day back to school because it's my first time in years since I've had to go on campus for courses. I'm extremely happy to report that I did not have a panic attack or anything. NOTHING. I asked St. Dymphna for her intercession regarding my anxiety, and St. Joseph of Cupertino and St. Thomas Aquinas for their intercession regarding my courses. I feel like they all came through from me (as well as St. Jude Thaddeus and Our Lady of Guadalupe whom were also asked for their intercession by other people). :D

I am loving my Philosophy of Religions professor. She's awesome. The syllabus and what she said we would study is right up my alley. My pseudo-brother/bodyguard is also taking the course with me so I'm going to have back up if needed. I hope that I will enjoy the class. I'm certainly excited.

(WARNING: Skip over the following paragraph to the next if you are squeamish or under the age of 18)

I'm not excited about my History of Religions professor. The course is really good but he's very nutty and makes me feel uncomfortable. Do you want to take a professor who, on the first day, says things like "I know some of you would probably want to cut your veins open (or go to a corner and shoot up some heroin) than be in classes with boring teachers"? He also said we could all go to *ahem* if we didn't want to be in the class and how if he saw that we were all lagging in energy he would tell us to... well, I won't repeat it. Needless to say, I am hoping that I can crash another course because I am NOT going to be comfortable in that class. Oh, and I got many looks when I said I was Roman Catholic. It was like I was a lamb in a Lion's den. Unfortunately, both professors that teach the History of Religions course are notorious for being neither very difficult or ultra-liberal so I am going to have to wait until someone else teaches it to take it. I cannot drop it just yet because I have to stay at full time student status and if I drop it without getting another course, I will be ineligible for financial aid.

I should've totally taken the little accident before the professor came in the class as a sign. First I couldn't find my class even though I passed by 3 times. Then, when I went to sit down, the desk was loose and it pinched the side of my left arm, in a very sensitive spot, and I got the most painful bruise as a result. It still hurts more than 24 hours later. Now, I'm not the most graceful person (haha, understatement of the century) but I have never had that happen to me. I even thought "Oh, I'm not going to think of this as a sign that I'm going to hate this course." And then the professor opened his mouth, said what he said, and I'm totally not happy. Maybe it was a sign from above that I needed to run, not walk, out of that class while I still could. Well, I am hoping for the best (to find a class) and will be optimistic. :D

I want to let all you students, who read this blog, about St. Joseph of Cupertino and St. Thomas Aquinas.

Odds are you are more acquainted with St. Thomas Aquinas because he's the patron saint of students and colleges. He was an amazing theologian. I learned about him in my introduction to Philosophy class last year (summer 2007) and he was probably the best philosopher that we covered in the second half of the course, if not the entire course. If you have any school issues, he's a great saint to pray to for his intercession.

Another great saint that will help you out, especially during exams, is St. Joseph of Cupertino. Sometimes I mistaken call him John; I'm still getting used to his name. Anyway, he was not the best student in school but he still had a vast knowledge on spiritual matters. You can read more about him here. If you say one of the following prayers during exams, he will never let you down.


Prayer #1
O Great St. Joseph of Cupertino who while on earth did obtain from God the grace to be asked at your examination only the questions you knew, obtain for me a like favour in the examinations for which I am now preparing. In return I promise to make you known and cause you to be invoked.
Through Christ our Lord.
St. Joseph of Cupertino, Pray for us.
Amen.

Prayer #2
O St. Joseph of Cupertino who by your prayer obtained from God to be asked at your examination, the only preposition you knew. Grant that I may like you succeed in the (here mention the name of Examination eg. History paper I ) examination.
In return I promise to make you known and cause you to be invoked.
O St. Joseph of Cupertino pray for me
O Holy Ghost enlighten me
Our Lady of Good Studies pray for me
Sacred Head of Jesus, Seat of divine wisdom, enlighten me.

ALWAYS REMEMBER that when you succeed in the exams then you should thank St. Joseph of Cupertino by recommending him to other students with upcoming exams, or students in general.

Alright, well, I have copies to make and things to read for my Philosophy course. I hope to write often, though we'll see how much free time I'll actually have. My schedule's pretty packed this semester. :D

Good luck to everyone heading back to school! :D

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless!
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