Merry Christmas!; Christmas Mass; One Year Anniversary!

Note: I am posting this a day late. I started it yesterday but didn't finish it on time. :D

A very Merry and Blessed Christmas to everyone!!! What a beautiful day! A day to thank God for sending us His son, Jesus Christ, for our salvation. :D I LOVE LOVE LOVE Christmas, not only because of what the day represents but I love the closeness it promotes. It's awesome! :D

Today's been such a great day for me! I went to Mass. Not just any Mass, a SPANISH, Christmas Mass. That was HUGE for me. If you've read this blog long enough, you know I tend to avoid Spanish Masses because of how crowded they tend to get. Crowds + Anxiety = Panic Attack. In fact, I hadn't gone to a Spanish Mass since the January Mass where Fr. Stan was reading my mind. But, that was a weekday Mass and thus not crowded. Anyway, since both the local and usual (where I usually go) parishes had only one or two English Masses earlier in the morning, when it was raining cats and dogs, I had to attend a Spanish Mass. (side note: There were several non-Spanish speaking people at the Mass.) So, I got ready and was determined to make it through the Mass. I got there, saw that it wasn't that crowded and thanked the Lord. But, the second I went in I was hit with the intense smell of the incense. I have a very sensitive nose so I thought "Uh... I'm out!" Luckily, the back room has windows AND speakers so you can watch and listen to the Mass without being in the main room (which was not very well ventilated). On the down side, there is NO sitting. So, I had the choice of making myself sick with the smell of incense... or tough it out and stand throughout the entire Mass. Which did I choose? I stood the entire Mass. My back ached, I felt kind of weak (been feeling more and more weak as each day passes), but I was determined to make it through the entire Mass and to received the Eucharist. And, I did.

I had my little moments of anxiety, especially walking towards the altar in the middle of all the people (I was second in line to receive communion) from the back to the front. I just kept looking at my feet, or up at the cross, internally praying and asking God to please not let me faint. I stood there, shaking, until Fr. Juan and the other Eucharistic ministers finished with the elders and the sick who can't get in line (it's custom at the local church that they go first). Then I walked back to the back room, where my dad was waiting (he stuck it out, standing, with me) and I just burst into tears. Happy tears! To be able to attend Mass, a dreaded (only because of the crowds) one, and to receive the Eucharist without breaking out into an actual panic attack was amazing for me. I thanked God, in my mind, for helping me through it all. At the end of Mass, we got in line to kiss one of the two baby Jesus statues Fr. Juan and the other deacon (his name escapes me, sorry!) were holding. After we did that, we came home and that was it. :D

I didn't really do anything for Christmas. I didn't really get presents, but that's just how I wanted it. For once, my friends listened to me when I said "NO PRESENTS!" lol. I would rather they do something for someone and say that that is their gift for me, than getting material things. Last year, my adoptive "sister" DJ donated to a charity in my name, which was the best gift I could've received. Oh, I did receive an A in my History of World Religions course!!! That was a great present. My professor updated the grades in the afternoon so it counts as a present. :D So, not counting the Philosophy of Logic grade which I still don't know about since we have no idea if the professor will curve the grade like he did with the midterm, I've received two A's and one B thus far! Whoo! :D I should be receiving at least a B (86%) in Philosophy so I'm not worrying. If the professor curves the grade, then, whoo! lol. Either way, I'll be a happy camper. :D

Anyway... moving on... I cannot believe it's been exactly ONE YEAR since I started this blog. I honestly had no idea where I would be going with the blog, but I'm happy with how it's turned out. I didn't even plan on starting it on Christmas, last year, but that's how it happened. I'm glad to have made the friends I've made through this blog. It makes me feel good when I get messages about particular topics or even prayer requests. Nothing makes me happier than knowing that other people no longer feel they are the only ones going through certain things. :D I thank the Lord that I've been able to write as much as I have. I've not yet begun either. There are more topics I will write about; more personal stories I will share. :D

And with that, I will end the blog. :D You'll get this a day late 'cause I felt sick yesterday afternoon (Christmas). Been feeling really weak and fatigued but I'm chalking it up to some leftover anxiety that's manifesting itself physically. That happens with me... it may take days for anxiety to get released. :D

Thank you all for helping me make this blog what it is today. :D As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D
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Happy Happy, Joy Joy; "Things That Help" Anxiety.

I am bouncing up and down, full of excitement, because I received two (well, three if you want to get technical) things that have made me extremely happy. I get excited and happy pretty easily but these things have definitely brightened up my gloomy day.

First, I was checking my grades online and saw that I'd received a B for my English/British Literature course this semester! Yaaay! :D Considering how many lectures I missed, and how I started a week late because I switched schools, I am very happy with this grade. So, I now have a B in this class and an A in my Oceanography course. I still have to wait for my Philosophy of Logic and History of World Religions grades but, if my calculations are correct, I'm fairly certain I received a B in Philosophy (my hardest course) and either an A or a B in History. The History grade depends on that 10 page research paper I had to do last month (she's not done grading them yet). Either way, I did well this semester (despite my absences and illnesses) and I couldn't be prouder of myself. :D

What's the second good news? I received my Christmas presents to myself. I ordered the pair of Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati books written by his sister... and they arrived yesterday in the mail. I didn't get them until today because it rained almost all day yesterday and no one wanted to go outside. Too cold. Anyway, I am super excited to have gotten them! I will be take a semi-vacation from the 'net (mostly from emailing and facebook) until probably the New Year and these books will definitely help me pass the time. :D

Oh yes, and my friend Kathryn got married today, which makes today even lovelier! Unfortunately, I couldn't make it to the wedding since it was thousands of miles away and I have pressing business at home (in the form of an English gentleman) and I'll only have a limited time to enjoy it so I couldn't have gone. Also, no money for flights.

And speaking of English gentlemen (like the transition? lol), I wanted to share with you something that my friend Mark, founder of Soul Food Cinema, sent me in regards to anxiety. He promised me this list a while back but I just recently received it and the permission to share it with y'all. I am calling him a (sort of) guest blogger since he did write this list. :D

"Things that help

• Doing things I genuinely enjoy doing – things that bring genuine lasting joy, as opposed to just fleeting happiness and a temporary high.

• Taking spiritual breaks and holidays, especially away from television and computer screens and other electronics. Spending time in front of the Blessed Sacrament more instead. Not watching television and films in the evening is a good one too – try reading instead.

• Reading scripture and really taking it in and trying to understand its context and meaning. The psalms are good at night time or in the morning too; they express all of our emotions for us!

• Proper preparation before whatever it is I’m doing. So praying beforehand, doing research, practising beforehand (e.g. if giving a talk/speech) etc.

• Belief in my heart for whatever I’m doing – I have to genuinely care about it and not just do it because I think I should, because I have to or because someone else wants me to do it.

• Writing down my thoughts and spending some time meditating over them, particularly writing down things to change in my life and then spending time in silence discerning which things I’ve written down have come from God and which things have come from me.

• Prayer and rosary throughout the day. Especially praying to St Dymphna (thanks for that one!). *ed. note: You're welcome, Mark. :D*

• Self respect and trust in God; especially for the talents I know He has given me.

• Other people praying for me.

• Relaxation and fun. Doing things for enjoyment’s sake. Seeing friends etc. playing something (a game, a sport, an instrument…).

• Making progress with those things I’m working on in life – moving forwards as opposed to standing still or moving backwards.

And things that don’t help

• Spending too much time alone.

• Trying to do things by myself without help and certainly without prayer.

• Keeping things to myself.

• Abandoning my faith (selling out) and my true beliefs in a vain and proud attempt to please other people rather than to please God.

• Not giving daily thanks to Jesus (in abundance!).

• Self-betrayal of God’s forgiveness, charity etc, by denying the gifts, opportunities and freedoms he presents me with.

• Disrespecting those who deserve respect, especially the poor and those people brave enough to openly declare their love for Jesus.

• Not serving others that need it; especially not using my particular gifts.

• Not being patient.

• Not praying first, instead of doing first.

• When people ask for help, giving them my solutions and bringing myself to them, instead of bringing them God’s solutions and bringing God to them.

• Pursuing people (friends/girlfriends) based only upon shallow things e.g. looks, popularity, worldly success."

There you go. I think Mark wrote a fantastic list. A big reason why I wanted to share this because I've noticed that quite a number of people find this blog by searching "anxiety and Catholicism" or "anxiety and Catholic". They usually land on a post in which I cover a few things such as the patron saint of those who suffer from anxiety. There is something he mentioned, about taking spiritual breaks from the t.v. and 'net, that I hope to go more into depth next blog.

Okay, that is it for now. I am going to try to find a way to keep warm. I think I will drink as much tea as I can. Brr! And, okay, it's only like 54 degree Fahrenheit but that's very cold for us Southern Californians. lol. I'm just rambling on now. :D As always, thanks for reading and God Bless! :D
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Confession: I've Come Far (Advent Reflection); Superior Scribbler Award.

A good friend sent me something I apparently wrote nearly 3 years ago. It was uncharacteristic of me to write something like it, even then, but was shocked that I was capable of such a thing. I won't repeat what it said but, as you can guess, I was shocked that I'd written it. To be quite honest, I don't remember writing the profanities but my friend swears I did. That made me think I had a potty mouth which I'd forgotten about, but my friend reassured me that that was the only time I'd cursed. That, along with other things that reminded me of my past, made me think of how far I've come in just a matter of years.

Those who knew me when I was in my teens to 20 years-old would be surprised by how much I've changed. It's all for the best, too. I had horrible habits growing up. I wasn't the most honest person, I would act before thinking things through, etc. All of this was during my time away from the Church.

I've NEVER felt like I fit in in this city. Honestly, even now, I'm still trying to figure out my niche in the City of Angels. Growing up I would try to modify aspects of myself, some times for the worse, just to fit in with a group of people. This continued up until I got really sick with my anxiety and other illnesses. I made the conscience decision to cut myself off from the people who would continue to "help" me down the wrong path. Once I really got sick -- to the point of me being in and out of the hospitals -- I decided to change myself completely from the monster I'd become.

I look at all the illnesses I've gone through as a blessing from God. Every single pain, ache, panic attack, trip to the hospital... every single one of those things has only made me stronger. I truly thank God for every thing I've suffered because it's only brought me closer to Him and it's returned me to the faith I had as a child. Not only that, it's shown me what truly matters in this life.

Needless to say, I've sincerely repented and confessed to everything I did prior to my coming back to the Church. Not only that, but I've done a total 180. Lying (which was my biggest fault)? I absolutely HATE it with a passion and hate saying even the smallest "white lie". In fact, I would rather get scolded at and/or hated on for voicing the truth than lying about it. I never drank alcohol. I never did drugs. I never did anything I shouldn't have done outside of marriage. I never snuck out of the house. But I did lie, curse, and do more than should be allowed... and am truly and deeply sorry for ever having done it. It was wrong of me to do. All I can do now is learn from it and make my story known so that others won't fall into the same pattern.

Why am I so open about what I went through, you make ask? Because I want people to see that it IS possible to come back to the Church despite any sins you've committed. It IS possible to be forgiven by God. It IS possible to turn away from all of it, get your life straightened out, and start living it as the Lord wants you to. What a better time to reevaluate this than during this time of year. Advent is a time for penance so why not make the most of it and confess to your past sins so you can look forward to living a better life? If you don't think it's possible, read St. Augustine of Hippo's biography. You'd be surprised with how many saints committed sins before they repented them and then led a life of a true saint.

I will admit that I was inspired to write about this (and I can tell you, if you want to know actual details of what I went through and how I came out... it's all in the novel I'm writing), by a video I saw of Eduardo Verastegui's conversion story on the Spanish version of EWTN. He also went down the wrong path (though his and my life stories have been quite different) but repented his sins and is now doing all he can to help the Church with his vocation.

Now, having spilled my guts out to the public :D...

From Journey of a Catholic Nerd Writer

I would like to thank Fr. Austin Murphy of Jesus Goes to Disney World for including this blog on his list of Superior Scribblers and would now like to pay the award forward. I don't think I can pass it back to him but I'd highly recommend you check out his blog anyway because it's awesome. I check it on a daily basis (whenever I can). I've even had self proclaimed Deist say she enjoys his blog. :D

First off, I'd like to award both of Rebecca's blogs awards.

Catholic in Film School is a great blog about, you guessed it, a Catholic in film school. This blog also has a lot of media centered content, from a Catholic's point of view, that I am sure you'd all love and enjoy. I've also been introduced to a lot of Catholic things for Los Angeles based people, such as L.A. Catholic Underground, by her and her blog. Maybe one day we'll join forces and write some kick tush screenplay. What do you say, Rebecca? lol. :D

Her other blog, Modestia, is a great site for young, modest women who are looking for great fashion finds. Who says you need to dress drab to be modest? Not this Modestia! I also love the fact that she spotlights celebrities that are good role models for other young girls and women (Selena Gomez and Ali Landry, anyone?).

Matthew's Fallible Blogma is one of the best Catholic blogs I've ever seen. Funny story, Matthew and I met on facebook -- adding him without knowing anything beyond the fact that he was Catholic. I normally wouldn't do that but thought, "Hey, another Catholic friend doesn't hurt!" I'm glad, though, because I would've never found out about this blog otherwise. Matthew presents things that are going on in our society in a refreshing, thought provoking manner.

Q's L.A. Catholic is a great way to find out what's going on in the Los Angeles Archdiocese. He does a superb job keeping us updated with the happenings here, while not shying away from making his (and, really, most of our) opinions known. He voices things that a lot of us which we had the guts to say.

Okay, so I am a little biased because she is my little adoptive "sister", but I can't help but love Delaney's Hat Full of Hope blog. It's great to see what a Catholic, home-schooled young lady thinks about. And it gives you hope that the future isn't as rotten as we might fear. Can't wait to see her in a play soon! :D

Now, pay it forward. The rules, from Bosco:

* Each Superior Scribbler must in turn pass The Award on to 5 most-deserving Bloggy Friends.
* Each Superior Scribbler must link to the author & the name of the blog from whom he/she has received The Award.
* Each Superior Scribbler must display The Award on his/her blog, and link to this post, which explains The Award.
* Each Blogger who wins The Superior Scribbler Award must visit this post and add his/her name to the Mr. Linky List. That way, we’ll be able to keep up-to-date on everyone who receives This Prestigious Honor!
* Each Superior Scribbler must post these rules on his/her blog.

Alright, well, this blog should be enough for the next week... until my finals are over with. I have my History of World Religions final assignment due tomorrow but will try to have it done by tonight. Philosophy of Logic final exam is due on Tuesday night but will try to have it done by this weekend. My English Literature (Medieval to early 18th Century literature) final is on Wednesday and that will be my hardest one. Yes, save the hardest for last... lol. Wish me luck... because I'm going to need it. lol. :D I will be studying all weekend long.

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D
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Thanksgiving Thoughts; Remix Fun.

I hope all my fellow Americans (wow, sounds like the beginning of a speech) had a great Thanksgiving yesterday! I wanted to make a post but I was stuck in bed with a cold. I can't complain too much though. Yes, I did feel gross, I was all achy, and all I spent nearly 2 days in bed... but I got caught up on my prayers and I got a head start on my History of World Religions paper. That one is due tonight (eesh!).

I am skipping on today's big sales because I'm not fully recovered from my cold and it's (finally!) cold outside and I have to write that 10 page research paper on the sacred art of 3 different religions. I have 4 BIG art history books to go through. I'm just thankful that my Philosophy of Logic professor spared us work yesterday.

You know what else I'm thankful for (in the past year)? My amazing parents. My overprotective older brothers and sister -- and their families. Both of my younger adoptive sisters (one of whom gave me a blog award that I will post next time :D. Thanks D!). My friends who are like family (which consists of virtually all my friends; many of whom have asked my mom to adopt them, lol.) That my father was able to beat his cancer for the second time. That one of my best friend was able to beat her ovarian cancer. That everyone is happy and healthy. That I've been healthier than I have been in years. Most importantly, I am thankful for everything God has done for us. I am grateful that I've been able to get closer to God and have been able to do the same to my parents. You guys have NO idea how happy I am that my parents have started praying and going to Mass more often! I could continue the list but it would get much longer and I still have to work on my paper. lol.

Oh, and I'm also thankful for iTunes, and cell phones, and books, and digital cable, and TCM (Turner Classic Movies), and french fries, and Mexican food, and airplanes which take me to different countries, and laughing babies, and babies named Charlie who bite their brothers' fingers... HAHA. I'm not (entirely) serious here. :D

Alright, I should go work on my paper, but before I do, I will leave you with a video I thought was so awesome. During YouTube Live (yeah, I missed it) they had a lot of big youtube names performing. One of them was DJ Mike Relm and he remixed two videos that were HUGE on youtube. The second remixed video is probably my favorite.



Okay, back to work. :D Oh yeah, and if you haven't vote on the poll, please do so. It ends tomorrow night. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless.
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When and Why Do YOU Pray?; Patron Saint of this Blog

While one of my very best friends searches this blog for clues as to where I might have my Christmas wish list hidden... (I am not telling you! :D), I decided to update the blog. Whoo-hoo! :D

You know, I woke up feeling fatigued and just gross, and it got me thinking "Oh no, I hope I am not getting another cold, or flu, because I can't afford to be sick... especially during the last weeks of school." Then I was thinking about how I have amazing friends who have been praying for me and my anxiety (which has lessened SO MUCH in the past two days). That led to questioning myself... "When do YOU actually pray?" I haven't been praying as often as I probably should. I have been super busy with school (10 page History research paper AND the entire "Paradise Lost" for English Lit, anyone?) but that shouldn't be an excuse. While I was making breakfast this morning, I remembered this question on some quiz that I took ages ago. It asked when you prayed or how religious are you? One of the options was "Whenever I'm sick/there's a natural disaster." That made me realize that some of us *points to self* are occasionally selfish with their prayers. I will admit that I tend to do more praying when I am sick... and it should be the other way around. I do pray that I find the strength to get over whatever illness I have... but I do also pray for others when I can.

About a week and a half ago, our next door neighbors were arguing at full volume... at 1 in the morning. I was upset because I had to wake up early that morning, but that changed to feeling bad that they were fighting. So, I started to pray to God to help them resolve whatever it was they were fighting about... and it stopped pretty soon after. I have to admit, that prayer was both selfish and unselfish at the same time. If it had happened in the day, it would've been more unselfish. The point of this example is that... just like I prayed during that time when it was needed, a lot of us do the same thing. Maybe not the same situation, but same concept.

I am often in awe of my little (adoptive) sister who often asks "How can I be praying for you?" She might be going through some really difficult situations but she always manages to finds time to pray for others. I think we should all try to be a little more like that. Even if we're all doing very well, and so are all of our friends and family, there's always something to pray for... or to pray to say thanks. Don't just pray while there's a crisis, or when you're in need of the Lord (which is when the majority of us do it -- come on, admit it)... pray just to thank Him for everything He's provided for you.

I am going to set a specific time every day to thank God for my amazing parents, family, and friends. I will also thank all the saints who have interceded for me over the years -- whether I asked for their intercession, or others did. I will feel much better doing this, than just praying when I need to.

Moving... I actually want to do something kind of fun with the readers of my blog. I want everyone (who wants to participate) to pick the patron saint of this blog. I will be putting up a poll on the left where you can vote for whom you'd like to see as the patron saint of this blog. I will have the poll open (hopefully) until the end of this month so we can have a patron saint next month (which will also be the 1 year anniversary of this blog. :D). So, go ahead and vote! You can vote for as many as you'd like. And if you know of others that read this blog, please let them know about it! :D

Alright, well, I should probably get to work on my massive amounts of homework. I won't complain because there's no reason to, really. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D
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History of World Religions, Religious Studies Major.

I don't know where to start... I have so much I want to write about (but, don't worry, I won't. lol). First off, I am SO HAPPY we finally covered Catholicism and Christianity in my History of World Religions class. I have a list of all the people and saints that we covered... if I can just find it... *digs through desk drawer*... here we go:

- St. Ambrose - St. Augustine of Hippo - St. Benedict of Nursia - St. Francis of Assisi - St. Clare of Assisi - St. Dominic - St. Catherine of Siena - Pope Gregory I (The Great) - Pope Gregory XI - Pope Urban VI - St. Augustine of Kent/Canterbury - St. Thomas Aquinas - St. Anselm of Canterbury - St. John of the Cross - St. Teresa of Avila (WHOO!) - St. Ignatius of Loyola - St. Francis Xavier.

All those people/saints were covered in only 7 pages. I was super excited to have to learn a little bit more about them for a class! It reaffirmed my belief that I am supposed to be a Religious Studies major. :D I had to compare Martin Luther, John Calvin, King Henry VIII, and St. Ignatius of Loyola for my Christianity paper. Guess which I wrote more about; which one I knew more about. :D Man, I LOVE this class. :D

We're currently doing the last religion we'll learn about (I think), which is Islam. We have a big research paper due in like 2 weeks and I was originally going to do it on Christianity, Judaism, and Buddhism but now I'm going to switch Buddhism for Islam because I think it'll be easier (since they believe in God). I still don't know if I'll focus on the sacred texts or the art but it's one of those. It'll be interesting.

All of this that I have been learning has really made me think about what I'm going to do when it comes to my Religious Studies major. I'm at the point where I have to decide, once and for all, where I'll be attending next Fall to finish my Bachelor's degree. I have to do it this week because I have to make sure my Winter session and Spring semester classes are exactly what I'll need (also, to basically get more credits done at a cheaper cost, lol). I''m still undecided whether to go to a state university (where I'll have to learn about different religions) or go back to my private college (where I'll focus mainly on Catholicism). I would rather go to a Catholic university/college but, really, it all comes down to the tuition. Since I'm in charge of all my educational costs, I have to really think about the debt and whatnot once I graduate. I am completely torn on what to do so I'll hopefully get some advice from Fr. Stan. I've already called to make an appointment so now I'm just waiting for him to call me back and set the day when I can go in and ask. I've tried to figure it out on my own, and have even prayed about it, but all that I've come up with is going to a priest and asking his advice.

I don't think my decision would be so hard if I wasn't planning on (eventually) becoming a teacher. See, I have my plans. If I don't make it as an author or wedding planner, I want to be an elementary school teacher. I love kids and I love teaching them things. I think I'd do a good job. Because of this, and because I'd want to teach at a Catholic school... well, it makes me think twice about what school I'll get my degree from. Hopefully Fr. Stan will be able to help me figure it out a bit.

Well, that's it. I had more planned but I just started getting these stomach cramps and I'm not feeling too well so I'm going to call it a day. Hopefully it isn't serious... and that I won't have to go to the Emergency Room.

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless! :D
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I Have Wedding Fever.

I've caught the wedding fever lately. One of friends is getting married next month so that has gotten me awfully excited. Sadly, I won't be able to attend because it's across the country and I'm pretty much stuck here (in California) until probably the New Year. Anyway, even though that's the case, I'm still excited about the wedding. (And then getting a big house in Ireland with her, her future husband, and my sister. lol.)

I LOVE weddings and what they represent. Two years ago I entertained the idea of becoming a wedding planner. I've already been put on notice by a friend of mine to be ready to help when he is ready to start planning his wedding with his fiance. I put the idea back on the shelf when I decided to stay focused on finished my degree... and then had other family responsibilities (helping dad when he had cancer). Lately, I've started getting this nagging feeling that maybe I should look into it again. I've been watching "Whose Wedding is it Anyway?" and I've gotten to the show... again. lol. I don't know what I'm going to do. I mean, the job is PERFECT for me. I love love. I love what a marriage represents. I think I can do a good job creating a great wedding for someone, no matter what their tastes are. And, hey, my Religious Studies degree can come in handy because I'll know the traditions and customs of various religions (sometimes the couple are of two different religions). The more and more I think about it, the better the idea gets. :D We'll see though, I still have time to weigh my options. :D

Oh, and Rebecca at Modestia is also having Bridal Week in case any of you lovely young women want to check out wedding gowns and bridal tips. :D Even though it's very doubtful that I will get married any time soon, I still love looking at the pictures and seeing which are my favorites. :D

And for those of you getting married soon, remember not to get fully caught up in just the planning of it. I know a lot of people wig out over details like what color the bridesmaid's dresses will be, or who is sitting next to who at the reception... and they totally forget what they're actually doing. Remember that importance of it what it is to be married and how incredible it is to be united under God to do his will. The whole significance of marriage is absolutely beautiful and such a blessing. Please, don't take the whole thing for granted. :D

Okay, I have to go tackle my History of World Religions assignment. I also have to get started on the BIG research paper that is due next week (the outline) and the following week (the finished paper). I still have to pick whether I'm going to focus on the sacred art or sacred texts/literature of 3 different religions but I already have the religions picked (Christianity, Judaism, and Buddhism).

Oh, and I have 4,299 words written so far (for NaNoWriMo). Man, I still have a way to go but it's really fun having a deadline for my novel. :D

Oh, and I recently took a Jane Austen heroine quiz (Yes, I DO love Austen) and I got:

Take the Quiz here!

Whoo! I do feel I am the most like her out of the other Austen heroines. :D Uh... I think I'm procrastinating now. lol. I'm going to go work on the assignments. lol.

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D

Midterms? Final? HELP!; I Love Saints!.

Sorry it's taken me nearly a week to post another blog. This is the hardest week I'll have this semester, hence the lack of updates. I have my Oceanography final tomorrow morning (WHOO-HOO!). The English Literature midterm is on Monday morning. History of Great World Religions' midterm starts this coming weekend (the 30th) but that's an essay so I'm not too worried about it. After that, normal work until finals week... with one less class to do. WHOO!!! I would do a cartwheel right now if I didn't have these giants, painful stress knots all over my back. But, it's just 3 more days until the work lessens. I've had my crazy schedule for 8 weeks so far, I think I can make it 3 more days. lol. Despite my knots and occasional stress (the next door neighbor thinks she's the only one who lives in the area -- such loud music), I am pretty mellow about my exams. I don't know why. Might be because I've worked hard so far (though, I'll admit, probably not as hard as I should've) and because I'm pretty confident I will (hopefully) pass. I'll hopefully get my Oceanography final grade sometime next week. Fingers crossed it's a good grade. The man's grading on a curve, so I'm a little worried. :D

Quick note: We've officially started the Christianity section of the History of Great World Religions class and both St. Thomas Aquinas AND St. Teresa of Avila are mentioned. WHOO! :D

Have I mentioned how much I LOVE saints? I truly do. Last night, I was feeling horrible -- stomach pains, feeling faint, a gross feeling; most likely because of something I ate -- so I said a little prayer, "Oh, St. Timothy, if it's something related to my stomach, please help me get over this so I can go finish my History assignments that are due tonight". A little while later, all better. :D I made it 15 minutes under the deadline. That's how close I was cutting it due to the... well, whatever it was. Also, yesterday I received the WONDERFUL news that my financial aid appeal had been approved and I will be receiving aid for my books for the rest of the year. YAY!!! :D The Novena to St. Jude totally came through for me. :D Mom seemed somewhat shocked when she told me it was very apparent that I had such a strong faith/belief in the saints and their intercessions. Not only the saints, but in prayer. I feel like this is helping me out with my ultimate mission. What my ultimate mission/goal is... you'll have to wait until my next blog because I am exhausted (5 hours of sleep), I have confessions in a little while AND I still have to plan my attack on the final exam tomorrow. Hopefully I'll be able to write either Monday afternoon or Tuesday. We'll see. :D

'Til next time... thanks for reading and God Bless. :D

Thank you St. Joseph of Cupertino and St. Thomas Aquinas!

I'm in shock, but BEYOND ecstatic! Ladies and gentlemen... I've passed my Oceanography midterm exam! Yes, seriously! I was 2 points from an A as well. I'm truly shocked! I didn't think I would pass the exam because I was so out of it and I didn't even finish the essays because I was so stressed out. But I passed. Thank you, Prof. Dewart! And, a big, huge special thank you to St. Joseph of Cupertino (patron saint of exams/test takers) and St. Thomas Aquinas (patron saint of students). I asked for their intercessions. Really, I asked for at least a low C but they completely came through for me. My confidence just shot through the roof! I was honestly dreading not passing my Oceanography class (which would be a first for me; I'm sort of a nerd, lol) because it's the most intense but I'm so confident that I'll pass it now! :D I feel like doing a cartwheel but I still kind of crummy from the second cold (yes, it's officially the second one) so I'll wait until I get better to celebrate. :D

Oh, and I wanted to share the prayers I said to both saints in case any of you want to use them in the future for your studies and exams.

St. Joseph of Cupertino
O St. Joseph of Cupertino who by your prayer obtained from God to be asked at your examination, the only preposition you knew. Grant that I may like you succeed in the (here mention the name of Examination eg. History paper I ) examination.
In return I promise to make you known and cause you to be invoked.
O St. Joseph of Cupertino pray for me
O Holy Ghost enlighten me
Our Lady of Good Studies pray for me
Sacred Head of Jesus, Seat of divine wisdom, enlighten me.

St. Thomas Aquinas
Creator of all things,
true source of light and wisdom,
origin of all being,
graciously let a ray of your light penetrate
the darkness of my understanding.
Take from me the double darkness
in which I have been born,
an obscurity of sin and ignorance.
Give me a keen understanding,
a retentive memory, and
the ability to grasp things
correctly and fundamentally.
Grant me the talent
of being exact in my explanations
and the ability to express myself
with thoroughness and charm.
Point out the beginning,
direct the progress,
and help in the completion.
I ask this through Christ our Lord.
Amen.

Alright, I have a World's Great Religions assignment to finish... then finish this week's Oceanography assignment... then work on the English Lit critical analysis of "Wife of Bath" by Chaucer... etc. Yes, more school craziness for me. Hopefully next blog I'll be able to share this beautiful dream I had where that involved a golden crucifix I found. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D

P.S. Oh, also a big thank you to St. Therese of Lisieux as well. I had a very bad morning yesterday (health wise) and I prayed for her intercession -- ended up falling asleep and woke up so much better. Have I mentioned how much I love her and her story? That will also be coming up soon. :D
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Complaints Challenge... Ay!

Hello there everyone! I'm still pretty much confined to my bed (you darn cold!) and all but I thought I'd get up for a few minutes to write a little something.

You know what I've noticed? Everyone complains an awful lot. I know I do. Yesterday I noticed that I was complaining to my mom about how my History of World Religions professor didn't let me know that I had an extra something due (well, my name wasn't attached to a particular group) until the day before or day it was due. The last time I'd checked it, on Wednesday, my name wasn't on there. When I checked last night, minutes before it was due, I noticed she'd added my name. I hadn't checked on Thursday or earlier in the day yesterday because I'd been stuck in bed. That's when it hit me that it could've been prevented and that a lot of things we complain about usually can be. So, I've decided to challenge myself. Every time I feel like I'm going to start complaining, and it was preventable, I will remind myself that it was my fault for not being more careful. I'm going to learn from it and try to not make the same mistake again.

If it wasn't preventable, I am going to turn it around into something positive. Example: I feel miserable with this cold and it's slowing me down in terms of finishing my coursework BUT I've been finding more time to pray so this cold has becoming a blessing in disguise. I was having less and less time to pray because of my chaotic schedule. Since I've gotten this cold, I've been able to slow down enough that I have time to give thanks to God, and all the saints I've asked for intercessions, for all the wonderful things I've been blessed with lately.

Any else up for this challenge? Let me know if you'll consider it! :D

Alright, it's back to bed for me. I need to get well as soon as possible. Ever since my anxiety's diminished significantly (thank you God and St. Dymphna!), I haven't been wanting to stay indoors. Yup. lol. Okay, I'm done. lol. :D

Hope everyone has a great weekend! As always, thanks for reading and God Bless! :D
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Brain Overload; Feeling Blessed and Thankful.

Oy. My brain is overloaded with facts of Hinduism. I'm about 2 days late on my paper about Hinduism, as well. :( Bah! I didn't have the cash, or transportation, to get the book on time thus making me fall behind. Luckily, we have a 2 day grace period so... I am going to get to that as soon as I finish this blog. Between my History of World Religions and British Literature courses, I have very little free time. I am not too stressed about my other courses because they don't make my head and eyes hurt as much (in other words, not as much reading). I will be so happy once we're a quarter into the semester because that's when the professor stop loading us with huge amounts of work. I will also need a massage by the end of this coming weekend because I already have knots in my shoulders and back from all the stress. Okay, I will stop my ranting right about... now. lol.

I went Mass today but left about a bit early because I felt like I was going to pass out (I also left my Oceanography course earlier in the day early for the same reason). Since my father and I weren't seated together (long story), he didn't see when I slipped out. I had to wait out by the car until Mass was done... but what I received during that time made up for my missing Mass (well, at least the bummed out feeling of not making it through the Mass) was fantastic. A young girl came up to me (while I was dabbing my forehead with a cold paper towel I got from the bathroom) and asked to borrow my cell phone. She then started up a conversation in which she was very open about her life with me. I've never encountered someone who was that trusting with a stranger. Even though she's a decade younger than I am (wow, that make me feel old, lol), she's lived so much more than I have. She has a child and has gone through heck and back. As she was telling me all these things, I felt very sad for her but personally very blessed at the same time. She asked me questions like whether I had a boyfriend or had kids, whether I was in school, and whether I was saving myself for marriage (though she used more colorful words). I was VERY shocked she would ask me such personal questions but I felt like I had to be very honest with her. I usually just say "I'm sorry but it's none of your business" but I answered all her questions. I think she was very surprised by my answers, especially when I told her I was 23 and not 15 years-old like she thought I was. (Side note: Yes, I'm often mistaken for a teenager. I look anywhere from 15-19 according to people.) I was shocked when she started using the foul language she used. Every other word was the f-bomb. This was on a bench outside of church, too. I kept thinking "How can someone be so disrespectful at church?" Granted, we weren't inside but we were still a couple of feet away. Talking to her and hearing her words, I mean really hearing her, made me very so blessed and thankful for the life I've had.

Even though I've had really sad things happen, I've been able to stay on a pretty good path. Even during my time away from the Church, I didn't go crazy. I never really went through a stage of teenage rebellion. I did sort of have a mini one when I was 18-19 but it was in the form of getting home a few minutes (like 10 minutes) later than I said I would be (coming home from a concert). That's not exactly rebellion, is it? lol. I never did anything anyone else was doing in my circle of "friends". That was my rebellion; not doing something because everyone was doing it. Though I did have some slip-ups, like lying and swearing (I call that the "Lost" part of my youth; all around the time I was away from the Church), I never got to the point of doing huge self-destructive things. I think God blessed me with enough common sense to not do those things. There have been a number of times where I could have easily strayed and done things I would've greatly regretted. Thankfully, I've always known how or when to get myself out of those situations. Once, I sent my friend an S.O.S. text, he called me and got me out of the situation and I'm forever grateful for it.

So, during my chat with the young woman, I thought about all I've gone through and I was so thankful to God for everything. I honestly feel so blessed to have had the experiences I've had (both good and bad) because they've gotten me to where I am in life. Though I have sinned (but, really, who hasn't?), I've confessed those sins and I've made a great effort to stay on the right path. And I owe it all to my faith and to God. Without my faith, prayer, and everything else I would be completely depressed and probably still sick from all the negative thoughts and feelings. If I didn't have the Rosary or my own little journal thing I keep to Our Lady (Blessed Mother), I would've been nutty (well, nuttier, lol).

Isn't it amazing how I got all of this from church though not through Mass? Of course, I would've stayed for the entire Mass if I hadn't felt lightheaded and faint like I did. And, of course, I would've learned a lot for today's readings. I think that this whole thing happened for a reason -- me leaving a few minutes early and chatting to the girl. It certainly made me appreciate everything, especially my parents. :D

Alright, well I think I've taken enough of your time for today. :D I have got to get back to cramming more Hinduism facts into my brain (so many deities in that religion...) so I can finish that paper.

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D
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Philosophy of Logic, God, and Narnia.

This is going to be a semi-quick blog because I still have a discussion thing to write for my Philosophy of Logic course which is due in like... 8 hours. It's something I can do in a couple of minutes but I want to get it done early.

I just finished my third and fourth Philosophy of Logic quizzes/exercises. My professor lets us re-take them twice if we get them wrong the first time. I've gotten a couple answers wrong... on purpose. There are some answers that I don't agree with, i.e. "Only things that are material exist. Therefore, God does not exist." (Friedrich Engels, Socialism: Utopian and Scientific). For this particular quote, the answer is that the statement is correct, well, according to the test answer and the quiz's objective. I obviously don't agree, though I can see how it would be the "correct" answer, so my answer was that the statement was an assumption (inductive vs. deductive for you Philosophy buffs). I got the answer wrong and then had to go back and fix it to the "correct" answer it. Maybe next time I'll just leave it like it is, even if it's a borderline grade and thus getting me a lower grade. Like I said, I understand how some people would argue that Friedrich would be correct but, though we can't see God, we can see what He's created therefore we know He exists. Unfortunately, I can't say that because it's a multiple choice quiz and no essay portion. We'll see what I do next time.

One thing that made me smile was when I saw a Chronicles of Narnia reference in the fourth quiz/exercise. Well, to be precise, it was a quote from Professor Kirke (The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe book): "There are only three possibilities. Either your sister is telling lies, or she is mad, or she is telling the truth. You know she doesn't tell lies and it is obvious that she is not mad... we must assume (ed.: conclude, on test) that she is telling the truth." I got the answer correct. lol. I love little unexpected surprises like that. :D

OH!!! Quick novel/screenplay update: it's going well. I've been finding time to work on it despite my crazy schedule. To give you a hint of the mood/tempo of the scenes I'm currently working on... listen to the song "Outside" and "Strange and Beautiful" by Aqualung. Specifically, look at the lyrics. That's all I'm saying. :D

Alright, well, I've got to get back to work. I need to finish my work (for the week) for Philosophy of Logic and then finish my History of World Religions work early so I can hopefully take a carefree road trip tomorrow. Sorry the blog was a bit academic but, what can I do? I'm immersing myself into all my courses. :D

'Til next time, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D
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