Attention all CINO College Survivors...

I know I'm starting this a little late (I had been planning on it being up last month) but I've been so busy that this is the first week I've had a time to really sit down and plan things out.

As some of you may have already read on my Twitter, I have a project in the works that involves helping others who are either in CINO colleges or are considering applying to and/or attending one. This project has been in the works for a long time but I think it's ready to see the light. I already have some people on board but I am hoping that more people will help out. Interested? This is what I'm looking for:

If any of you are CINO college survivors and/or know people who attended a CINO college and were (undoubtedly) less than pleased with what was "taught" in them, I would love to hear your story. For legal purposes (I don't want to get sued and I'm sure you don't either), names of professors and colleges will be omitted. You can choose to have it posted as "anonymous" as well.

The point of this project is that I want these stories to be heard and to potentially help other faithful Catholics who are either considering these schools or know others that are.

Today, we received a letter (addressed to my father no less) asking for donations of $1,500 to $10,000. Are they serious? Why on earth would we want to continue funding it? I've already said that if I ever have enough to donate, I am going to donate to schools that are orthodox and not CINOs.

Anyway, if you'd like to help out, please contact me via Twitter, through the blog's FB page, or even through email at catholicnerdwriter at gmail dot com. I am so passionate enough this -- about all the damage they not only inflict on the faithful but also those who aren't Catholic but who want a good Catholic education -- that I am ready for the fight.

I hope some of you can help and I look forward to hearing from you.

And now I'm off to cheer on the United States Men's National Team (futbol; soccer).

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

I'm Undercover at the CINO...

This is Emmy and I'm reporting live from the CINO (Catholic in Name Only) college with this breaking news... I am officially done with my Intro to Catholicism class! Whoo! I just finished my final presentation on parishes within the L.A. Archdiocese. Phew! But that isn't why I am blogging today.

I've been getting a lot of hits on my CINO post, largely due to Patrick being nice enough to send them my way for advice and comments of support, and I've realized that I haven't really updated how it's been going since the post. While I do tweet about my experience, as it happens, on twitter I haven't had the time to sit down and write a proper entry on here. I also feel like I should clarify some things. By the way, to the person who called me a "dumb, ignorant, pathetic excuse for a Catholic" (I'm paraphrasing but those were the words used) for "making a dumb decision" regarding what school I chose to attend: I hope this post will make you understand where I'm coming from and will make you re-evaluate the hurtful attack you launched on me last night.

First off, thank you for all your comments. As I said in a previous post, I made my decision as to what to do. After much consideration, talking to friends whose opinions I valued, and prayer, I decided to stay where I am. Before anyone comments on that, especially for my new readers, let me explain something. When I initially chose this school in 2006, I was barely returning to the Church. As I got more serious about my faith I looked elsewhere. I wasn't majoring in Religious Studies (I was an English Literature and Jazz Studies major before I settled on RST) so it wasn't like I was looking for the school with the best Religious Studies or Theology department. I looked into St. Bede's Hall in England, Thomas Aquinas College, Ave Maria, Steubenville, etc. I actually came very close to going for the more faithful colleges, as well as the secular University of British Columbia, when my father was diagnosed with cancer the second time (before the third and final time). Since I wanted to take care of my father, and I was still dealing with my anxiety and panic disorder, I decided to stay in L.A. and I chose to attend my current college over the other "Catholic" college in the area because I hadn't heard as many bad things about it. From the research I did, it seemed to have been getting better in terms of the heresy spewed so I decided to give it a shot. Still, I applied elsewhere just in case my dad did get better and I could go away. As my father got worse and his cancer became terminal, I decided to stick with the plan to stay in L.A. for as long as needed. When my father died last summer (2009), I decided to stay at home for various reasons but mostly because of the concern for my well being and because of family responsibilities I inherited with his passing. I didn't want to go away while mourning my father and while my mother was inconsolable (and she still is nearly a year and a half later; they were married nearly 30 years).

Right before I started this semester, literally weeks beforehand, I started hearing about how bad it was. From what I heard I thought I'd still be able to survive in one piece and thought "Hey, if they still allow me to believe what I do and to engage in conversation, I'll be okay." After all, it never hurts to learn the arguments from the other side to both strengthen your own beliefs and to get an idea of where they're coming from. So I began the semester but quickly learned that it was "my way or the high way." I began the 54 day Rosary novena, hoping Our Blessed Mother would help guide me on what to do. Things got worse before they got better. As I got closer to finishing the novena, I noticed a sudden change in my professors. With the exception of one, they began to allow me to challenge their beliefs. By the time I finished the novena early last month I was no longer getting marked down. On the contrary, I got full points for assignments in which I argued with the pro-Vatican II, "traditional Catholics need to get with the times" classmates. I learned how to do my assignments without agreeing with them, and getting my points across tactfully. One of my professors, whom we don't believe is actually Catholic, spoke to me after class and she said that she actually admired me for sticking it out and for "having the guts" to major in RST in this "environment."

Also during the novena, and after, I got to know some of my classmates better. There were some closeted "traditional" Catholics or simply conservative Christians on campus that were in the same boat as I was. We all formed a support group. In one of my classes, I met someone with whom I could roll my eyes with and with whom I could talk about Catholicism properly. (Btw, she might read this so hi! :D) When we had the assignment to visit parishes in the Archdiocese, I got some of the girls to attend a Latin Mass given at St. Catherine of Siena in nearby Reseda, CA. That made my professor not too happy with me but she's since gotten over it. While I still clash with my professors (boy, do we clash) I am allowed to speak my mind. Things are so much different... including how I view things.

I still have the same beliefs I had prior to attending this school, but I have a better understanding of where the "progressives" on campus come from. It's making me do more research and it's helping me learn so much more about my faith. My arguments are stronger and clearer than before. I'm gaining confidence when defending the Faith while helping bust stereotypes some of my classmates had about what it is to be Catholic and what the Church's teachings are regarding subjects such as homosexuality and birth control. While my professors do skip over me when they say something they know I will contradict/try to defend, for the most part it's getting much easier for me. I expect to continue having a hard time but it's now manageable. I know what I can get away with and have found loopholes around a lot of things so I can't technically get kicked out or failed for stating my beliefs.

Thank you to all of you tried to help me transfer to other schools but due to financial difficulties, familial responsibilities, and other things, my only option is to stick it out. Through the intercession of Our Blessed Mother, and by praying the 54 day Rosary novena, I am at a better place now. I can do this... and I more willing and prepared to defend our Faith than I was when I first started in mid-late August. :)

My Lit class starts in about 15 minutes so I should go but I hope that this blog will shed some light into my situation and decisions. For the person who decided to attack me, I have no ill will towards you and I pray that this post has been eye-opening for you. I still recommend really looking into colleges carefully and I do not recommend my current school for other faithful Catholics (and I stick by what I wrote in the first CINO post). For everyone who is in a similar situation, please know you are in my prayers and hope that you stay strong despite opposition for professors, faculty, and other students.

And now off to Literature class I go. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless!

Transfer Application Tango and Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati.

It's the time of the year when high school seniors and transfer students are doing the transfer application tango. Of course it's not called that but I like to call it that. Don't ask me why, I just do. lol. Anyway, as some of you (who have read this blog for over a year) know, I went through this process last year. Unfortunately, plans change (when do they not?) and I must go through this again. The good news is that I'm a lot more prepared than I was last year. I'm basically done with all my core requirements and have even got all but one or two of the lower division requirements completed. One of those requirements that I need I'm currently taking (Philosophy of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam -- or, as I call it, Phil. of Monotheistic Religions) so I'll be free to take my Creative Writing lower division requirement (last one I need) next semester. "But wait, aren't you just majoring in Religious Studies?" you may ask. Well, no. I'm technically double majoring in Religious Studies AND Creative Writing. If I end up at one of school I'm applying to in L.A. I'll be able to do both without much trouble. If I end up at my dream school (yes, I decided to apply despite protests and guilt trips from my mother)), I'll have to either focus on one of those OR opt to merge them together and major in Religion, Literature, and the Arts. Yes, that's the official title of it. I have a lot of options, which I'm really excited about.

I'm also excited that I dropped my Biological Psychology course. Had I mentioned that before? I don't remember. Anyway, I had to drop it. I had begun getting chest pains (and scary ones at that) because the class really stressed me out. The professor was kind of nutty so I decided to take it next semester with another professor. It all works out because I needed two more courses to be considered a full time student next semester and now I have one less to worry about. Of course I ask for saints intercessions when it gets tough but this was one class I just couldn't handle because of the professor's unrealistic expectations.

I ask St. Joseph of Cupertino whenever I am nervous about an exam (which has been twice so far) and I've done very well. St. Thomas Aquinas also gets props because I ask him to intercede for me when I'm at a loss for words in my Philosophy course. Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati is going to be my transfer application patron saint. Why did I choose him? Because a) the way he lived his life inspires me to become a better person, b) he was my age when he went up to heaven, and c) he never got to finish his degree. In fact, he was just about to finish his degree to become a mining engineer when he contracted poliomyelitis and passed away. Since it's taken me this long to finish my own degree (due to illness and taking care of my father for all those years), I thought it was appropriate to ask for his intercession during this process. I'm not going to ask that, through his intercession, I get into my dream school. That would entirely too selfish of me. I'm going to pray that I get into the school that I will learn the most from; where I will be able to help others better. Of course, I want to go to my dream university but if it's not where the Lord wants me, then I won't go there. At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I'm leaving it all up to God. May I go and do according to His will, not mine.

You know what? Since I wrote that blog about enjoying being single and giving my heart to God for safe keeping, things have gotten much better. Everything is falling into place. I am less worried about a lot of things. I've been able to enjoy my friendships (with both my girlfriends and guy friends) a lot better. I can see some of my friendships coming to an end, and I'm sad about that, but I can also see why it would be for the best. Leaving it all up to God, yet trying to live my life as best as I can and never giving up on my dreams, is something I should've done a long time ago. *content sigh*

Alright, that's it for now. I'm going to go take a test for my Interpersonal Communication class... two weeks early. Yes, it's not due for another 2 weeks but if I can get it done today I can read the two chapters on Judaism assigned for my Philosophy course. It's all review for me since I've taken similar courses but I still love any excuse I can get to read the Old Testament and then see how various textbooks (authors, really) interpret it. :D And now I'm stalling. lol.

I hope everyone had a great week and weekend. Fingers crossed that I can make it Mass later today (if I feel well enough to walk two miles two and from the nearest parish). As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D



P.S. The book reviews on the Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati books are coming soon. Seriously. Just let me get through the next couple of days (up to Wednesday, max) of class lectures so I can focus solely on the reviews.

Ups and Downs; Taking Care of Dad, Round Three; Holy Week.

Boy, I've had two weeks of ups and downs. It's been mostly ups, though.Some of the downers have included not being able to give my pro-life/anti-abortion speech for my Ethics class. The professor said there wasn't time, which really ticked me off because a fellow female classmate gave a pro-choice/pro-abortion speech and I wasn't even given the opportunity to contradict what she said. I worked hard on that speech, too. Grr. One day...

Another downer was that, even though I was happy to have dad home, I wasn't happy over the fact that he was still in pain. He said he'd been in pain for days so he came home early to go to the doctor's. Yesterday the doctor told him he has liver problems... which explains his lack of appetite and pain in his lower back. Not only that, because he's had problems with doctors before, 3 different doctor's have refused to treat him. The oncologist he had reported him for missing appointments (two) and now if he (heaven forbid) gets cancer for a third time, we'll have a difficult time finding him another oncologist. That's just going to make me a stressed out loony because I already had a hard time the second time around.

Unfortunately, I had absolutely NO help from anyone except my mom when my dad was diagnosed with cancer the second time around. The first time hr had cancer my mom and eldest brother did all they could because I was still in high school. Even then, I burnt myself out to finish HS a year and a half early (13 classes in 3 months -- even went 51 straight hours without sleep to finish the last homework assignments), so that I could stay at home and help my dad when no one else was home. This second time around, I asked mom to take care of things financially while I took care of everything else. Looking for a bilingual oncologist, making sure dad got to his chemotherapy appointments, spending hours on the phone fighting Medicare and Medical twice when they threatened to stop his chemotherapy, staying at home to take care of him when he was really sick... and while I had a full load at school. I'm honestly surprised I didn't have some sort of breakdown. I think now you guys understand why my anxiety was horrible last year and the year before. I pray to God that dad doesn't have to suffer through something life threatening again. I don't care about the stress it causes me; I can do what needs to be done, it's not a problem. It's the least I could do for him, especially after all he's done for me my entire life. Anyway, this whole liver problems thing just reminded me of the last time they told him he had cancer. I ended up going up to the San Fernando Mission to see if I could find a prayer card of St. Erasmus, whom I'm told is the patron saint of liver illnesses, but sadly they didn't have any. Still, I'll keep looking and praying that it's something that can be taken care of as soon as possible.

It's weird. I went from being happy that dad was home, and was incredibly happy with the beautiful chapel veil he brought me from Mexico (pictures to come as soon as I get them uploaded), to being worried about him. I'm just going to keep an optimistic look on things and pray for the best.

Something fantastic that happened this week was that, in the midst of my choosing which university I'd transfer to, I received packages and letters from the Catholic college where I'm technically a student at... one of which included a $10,000 scholarship. Not only that, I was surprised that I'm going to receive A LOT in additional grants. When it's all added up, it'll cover over half of my tuition for the year... and it's renewable every year as long as I keep my GPA where it's at right now. It pays to be a nerd! lol. With this, and with me potentially staying at home to take care of my dad again, it's like a sign for me to stay here. The other school I was considering was in England, though I don't want to say which one it was because I don't want anyone giving me a hard time about not going there. I'm hoping to win a few more scholarships so I won't be too much in debt by the time I finish my degree. Ready or not, here I come... and I still won't budge on fighting to keep the school Catholic.

Oh, and did I mention that I totally kicked tush on my Philosophy of Ethics midterm exam? I got my blue book back on Wednesday with a huge red "A" at the top. :D I've passed all my midterm exams thus far. I won't know how I did on my other exams until after Spring Break. It can wait. :D I'm just happy all the cramming I did for my Ethics midterm, that wasn't on St. Thomas Aquinas, paid off. Whoo!

And to keep the happiness going before I end the post... who is looking forward to Holy Week? I certainly am! I'm happy to be able to go to confessions this Saturday (don't know why people complain about doing this), going to Palm Sunday early Sunday morning, and then celebrating Holy Week (including going to church on Holy Thursday) with my brand new chapel veil. That's right, I'm wearing it to the upcoming Masses and I don't care what anyone thinks. *snap* lol. :D I have MANY things planned during the week, which is why I might not post that often once again. It's all for a good cause though. :D

Okay, I've written too much... as usual. I'll try to write more often to make sure the posts don't get this long again. :D As always, thanks for reading and God Bless.
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"Catholic" Colleges; Haunted Dorms; Belated Music Monday.

Okay, so I originally started this post last Friday but due to insane amounts of homework and other things have prevented me from updating. Anyway, I have time now so...

I'm wondering how many people out there attend "Catholic" colleges and universities. Why did I use the quotation marks around the word Catholic? Simple. "Catholic" colleges were founded by/for Catholics but have strayed from the teachings of the Church. These schools usually have performances of the V-Monologues, birth control access on campus, gay/lesbian support groups and festivals, and other things. Though I have been a student at my particular college for nearly 2 years now, I have yet to actually attend it. Financial issues have prevented me from physically attending the school but I still consider myself a part of it. I still get emails from the college (to my student email account) about film screenings, volunteer work, and events happening at the college. All of it gets me excited about finally attending it this Fall (when I will finally be able to apply for the loan to pay for it myself). I was doing some research, because there is only so much you can find out from friends and from campus visits, and I found out two things that made me cringe. 1) It's held performances of the V-Monologues, and 2) they've had pro-choice/pro-abortion speakers at the graduation ceremonies. You can argue that since the school is compromised of about a 97% female student body, it would make sense that these types of things happen... except that it's a CATHOLIC school therefore those things shouldn't have taken place in the first place. I know they haven't performed the V-Monologues in about a year or two (or three), which I'm happy about. Still, I know that with other things, I will probably have issues with. I was considering applying elsewhere, maybe to a place like Thomas Aquinas College in Santa Paula, CA or Ave Maria University in Naples, FL... somewhere more faithful than where I'm at. I was really considering it until Andrew (from Per Fidem) sent me this quote:

"If you want your kids to defend their Faith send them to a public school, if you want them to lose their Faith send them to a Catholic School."
-- Archbishop Fulton Sheen

I'd actually started thinking about staying at my school, and fighting against any anti-Catholic activities that might take place, prior to getting the quote. Reading it only re-affirmed my decision to stick it out and do what I can to make sure it remains Catholic. I'm not much a fighter, and consider myself more of a pacifist (with occasional sarcasm, lol), but for this I would totally step up and say something. I know someone high in the ladder of administration thinks the school should be seen as "truth-seeking" instead of a "church"... which really bugs me because I know exactly what is meant by that. This person should listen to Bishop Martino about how "because it is a Catholic institution, it also has a responsibility to transmit Catholic teaching to its students in ways that are not ambiguous or confusing." I don't know just how much of a fight I have ahead of me but I welcome any challenge because it'll only make my faith stronger. I mean, students have fought against birth control being distributed on campus (with a positive result). More and more universities, such as Santa Clara University, have begun banning the V-Monolgues.

Oh yeah, and that whole thing about the dorms being haunted... uh, the scariest thing I've found on that campus is how slow the elevator in the Humanities building is. lol. We received an email, from the school's newspaper, asking for stories about haunting that have been going on on campus. Apparently, a ghost of a nun is seen walking through the halls of one dorm, and another ghost is seen in the elevator of another dorm... neither of which I am signing up for. Haha. That wasn't intentional either. I chose my dorm/apartment a year ago. :D I don't know what to make of it. I'm not a fan of supernatural things. Psychics? Don't believe 'em. One once told me that I'd be married with a child by my 23rd birthday. I haven't come close and my next birthday (the big 2-4) is a little under 3 months from now. :D Ghosts? Uh, I get enough fighting with them and demons in my nightmares, thanks. A friend said this was common is all schools? *shrugs* Thoughts? Comments? All are welcomed on this topic.

So, since I missed Music Monday yesterday (I was literally out from 6:30 a.m. until 6:15 p.m.) I have a belated video to share. The song is called "Typical" by Mute Math.



I LOVE Mute Math. Rumors are that they started out as a Christian Rock band but have asked that the label not be put on them. Knowing this and listening to their songs, especially "Chaos" you can see there are many ways you can interpret the songs. *shrugs* Even if they weren't, I'd love their music. :D

Alright, that's it for now. I hope to write another one tomorrow because I have some special requests I've been asked to write about... and I want to get those done as soon as I can. As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D
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