Merry Christmas, Everyone! Happy 11th Anniversary, Blog!

"And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, (and we saw his glory, the glory as it were of the only begotten of the Father,) full of grace and truth." (John 1:14) 

Merry Christmas, everyone! I hope you've all had (and are still having) a lovely day full of happiness, joy, laughter, and love. 

My mom had the rare Christmas Eve and Christmas Day off from work so we went to Midnight Mass last night. It was our first ever Christmas Midnight Mass (or Midnight Mass, period) and we fell in love with the Latin Mass all over again. It was a High Candlelit Mass and it was the most beautiful and reverent Mass I've ever had the blessing to witness. If ever I needed anything to breathe new life into my spiritual life, this was it. I was already planning on stepping up my Mass attendance to at least 2-3 times a week but now I'm downright giddy with anticipation about the next time I can attend daily Mass at my parish.

Today also marks the 11th (!!!) anniversary of this blog! I know I went M.I.A. for a month but I had a good reason. Basically, I was burnt out. I've been busy with work while running on empty from social media overload. I needed a break from everything and the last 10 days of Advent seemed like the perfect time to take that break. Thankfully, I also got a break from work this week so I'll be able to de-stress even more. Cue a self-care montage of me watching movies, reading books, drinking tea, baking, and silly dancing around my apartment for the rest of the week. lol.

To be completely honest, I was also unsure if I was going to continue this blog. It seems like almost no one reads blogs anymore. After some soul searching, I decided to keep my blog... and severely cut back on my social media usage. The break from writing and social media showed me that I truly missed blogging and that social media brings out the worst in me. Yes, it's wonderful for catching up with friends and all but I saw a very vain, proud, and angry side of me coming out lately and I hated it. I didn't feel like myself. I wasn't sure what was triggering it... until I completely cut social media out of my life. Not only do I feel like myself again, but those horrible traits -- especially anger -- also seem to have virtually disappeared. There is peace in my life and I feel happier and less stressed. I'll keep my accounts to catch up with those who choose to contact me through them and to post newly published articles but I'm done using it as I had for the past couple of years.

I also decided that I'm going to change the format of my posts. They'll be a lot more like the ones I posted when I first started this blog 11 years ago. If you weren't around that long ago, you'll see what I mean. ;)

Anyway, this is just a little update for y'all. 

Yes, the winners of the Magnificat Advent app were notified and given their codes before Advent, even if I didn't post it on here. 

Yes, we were able to do the 54-day Rosary novena (thanks, everyone!), even if I had to schedule the tweets and FB page posts for the last couple of days while I was on a social media break. :) 

Yes, I will be returning to blogging more often... God willing. 

Again, I hope you are all having a wonderful day and that you continue to have a lovely Christmastide season. For those of us who celebrate through February 2nd (Candlemas), let's do this! ;)

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

Magnificat Lenten Companion 2017 Giveaway!

Hello, everyone!

Can you believe Lent begins in exactly two weeks from today? I actually began thinking about what I would be doing for Lent this year, a couple of weeks ago. As soon as Christmastide ended, actually. I have yet to solidify my plans, including my dietary plans since (as many of you longtime readers know), I have a lot of dietary restrictions. Lent since my reversion has been hard because I haven't been able to eat fish (it makes me sick) and the only protein I've been able to eat has been chicken and beef in recent years. I still have to talk to our new priest about what I can do on Fridays in regards to food but I have a lot of ideas about what else I can do for this season. I don't want to overwhelm myself with too many things (been there, done that, bought the t-shirt), so I may choose one or two things from a long list.

Anyway, as you might've guessed from the post title, Magnificat was kind enough to send me two iOS app codes to give away for Lent. This is for the iOS app only. That means if you have an iPad, iPhone, or iPod touch, you're good to go. I did it last year for Lent and again for Advent and it turned out really well. I've heard great things from those who've used both the app and the physical booklets so I'm happy to be able to have this giveaway once again.

The winners will be randomly chosen on February 28th at midnight, Eastern Time. I will personally email the winners before I blog about it because I know I'll be doing an exam that week. As you may have noticed, exam week = (typically) no blog posts until the exams are finished.

a Rafflecopter giveaway


That is it for now. I have so many things to do and not enough hours in the day to do them but I'm going to try anyway. ;)

I hope y'all are having a lovely week thus far!

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

Feeling Unworthy and His Divine Mercy

A couple of days ago, I was going through what I think might've been a spiritual attack. I was trying to pray the Rosary when I was bombarded with thoughts that I was a pathetic excuse for a Catholic.

"Maybe Fr. G was right; maybe I should quit being Catholic. I'm terrible at it. I can't do anything right."

I clutched the beads and started crying, shaking my head as if I could shake those thoughts out of my mind.

"Maybe I should stop praying the Rosary. If I suck at being Catholic, why continue praying? Why not give up?"

I almost stopped but I shook my head. "No," I said to myself. "This is possibly an attack. Okay, I might be a horrible Catholic but maybe there's hope for me?"

"No. You can't get your act together," the thoughts persisted. "Just stop. Quit. What's the point?"

The inner struggle then became physical. I felt like I couldn't breathe; like something was tightening together in my chest. I let go of the beads, temporarily losing my place in the Rosary. I immediately returned to my place. My hand wanted to let go and give up... but I didn't want to. It was a fight (mostly internally) until I finished praying the Rosary.

I was a sobbing mess when I finished. I felt awful. I felt like I had been kicked down and was incredibly unworthy to ask Our Blessed Mother to be with me when I fail spectacularly. I knew I still had to pray the Chaplet of Divine Mercy since it's one of the devotions I must pray daily (it's a desire to pray it).

I started praying the Chaplet... and it literally felt like whatever was plaguing me had become undone and that it was falling to my sides. You know when you have something heavy on (like a backpack or a heavy coat) and you get home and you slide it off, making you feel lighter than you had moments before? It felt exactly like that. Not only did I feel a calming peace, I also felt like that moment was a gift.

I finished the Chaplet and then decided to read the Blessed is She devotional for the day. One part (which that day's writer chose to share) immediately stuck out at me:

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." (2 Cor 12:9)

Hello, new wave of tears and gratitude. You know how I said that the moment felt like a gift? When I read that verse, it all made sense to me. Through my moment of weakness -- in which my thoughts were negative and I felt like I kept getting kicked while I was already down -- I came to remember how much I love God and being a Catholic. During that moment of divine mercy (see what I did there?) -- while praying the chaplet -- I was reminded that no matter how badly I mess up, God still loves me and that there's still hope. I also thanked God for the gift of tears because (as I said) it felt like a gift at the end.

Have you ever felt that you were unworthy to be called a child of God? Someone unworthy to have a relationship with Him and Mama Mary? You're not. I'm not. Sometimes it's hard to see or feel that -- especially when you're in the middle of a spiritual dry spell or an attack -- but you are. We all are. No matter how often we fail (or how big our failures may be), we can always come home. We can always repent. That's what the Sacrament of Reconciliation is for. We're not perfect and we're not expected to be perfect. Also, we can't egotistically believe that our sins are bigger than God's mercy and grace. Those are all lies that pop into our heads.

Tomorrow is Feast of the Purification (Candlemas) when we say goodbye to Christmastide. If your parish (or a local parish; takes only minutes to inquire) will bless candles for the day, I highly recommend it. The candles must be 51% (or greater) beeswax but those are easy to find, especially if your parish sells them. Whole Foods and other stores have 100% beeswax candles, too. Get a candle (or two) blessed and light them up during times of darkness. If you don't know much about the practice, I recommend checking it out here.

Anyway, I just wanted to share this. I'm currently taking a break from finishing my lecture videos because I have mental fog that makes concentrating on the detailed notes hard to do. I'll get back to it when it clears up a bit. :)

I hope y'all are having a good week thus far. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D