Wednesday, October 8, 2008

It's Fall? Nooo.; (Great!) Anxiety Update; Be Like a Child.

It's definitely NOT Fall in Southern California. At least not in my neck of the woods. When I was on my way home from English Lit, the sign read 99 degrees Fahrenheit. It's slightly cooler where I live (campus is in a different suburb/district) but it's still well over 90 degrees. When my group rehearsed for our upcoming Shakespeare skit, we had to seek shade after about 2 minutes in the sun... it's that unbearable. We had to look for a shade before we could continue with our plan to make the entire class laugh. :D

And while I'm on the topic of the skit... I'm SO EXCITED for it. Again, not just because we get to dress up one of the guys as a girl. (It's gonna take a lot for me not to laugh the way we have it planned. lol.) :D A few months ago I would've dreaded doing this and would've probably done all I could to get out of it. Not so much now. I truly think St. Dymphna has really interceded for me in a big way. That and the Lord showed His mercy on me, after all those times I would ask Him in mid-panic attack (while sobbing) to help me understand why I would get that sick. At the beginning of the year, until probably around mid-late July, anything would trigger a panic attack. It was very bad. I'd say it's the worst time I've had since I first started getting the symptoms (when I was 15). When I started cognitive-behavioral therapy, my anxiety actually got a bit worse before it got better, mainly because I had to talk about things that upset me and it would just make me more anxious. But I'm extremely grateful I had to do it all. I'm also blessed to have a therapist who's Catholic because when I mention things like the importance of going to Mass, or praying to St. Dymphna for her intercession, she gets it. I'm so happy that I'm able to do a lot of things, including travel, that I couldn't because of my anxiety. I'm able to stand in front of people and don't freak out. It's amazing. I've been truly blessed. I won't say more because I've already written much about it. You can read more about it and about St. Dymphna (including prayers to her) in an earlier post I wrote. For the record, I keep bringing this topic up because I know a lot of people who land on my blog do so because they're looking for information regarding Catholicism and anxiety. I hope I've helped those who come in search of answers. :D

Another way I've been able to keep myself from going nutty (so much homework, not enough time. lol) is being more child like. I'm taking St. Therese of Lisieux's advice. I'm doing these little things that I hope the Lord will appreciate. I've also reverted to my pre-anxiety self -- all silly and goofy. I've gotten to the point where I see absolutely no reason why I should stress over little things I used to wig out about. I've started singing and dancing around my room and the living room, like I used to when I was younger. It's the way I shake stress off. I'm not being childish but I'm just doing simple little things that make me happy. And from that happiness, I get more excited about praying and about my faith. It all works out. :D

Alright, well, I'm going to do precisely what I just said... I'm going to sing and dance in a completely dorky/silly way to get some of the stress out. I have a lot due today so I need to get happy before I can proceed. :D

I hope y'all are having a good week... and aren't in the same hot weather as I am. Oy. lol. As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D


The Real Katie said...

My friends are vacationing down in Hilton Head, so I am TOTALLY jealous of you not getting fall yet. They said it's like, 90 degrees or something ridiculous. It's like, 40 here. BRRRR!

Miss C.N.W. said...

I'll gladly trade you some cold for the hot weather. It was 97 degrees last time I checked.