Health Scares, Daily Masses, and Facebook Pages.

Not much has been going on with me hence the lack of posts. Last Friday I was told my thyroid levels were low and that I might have hypothyroidism which, to be honest, scares me because it would mean that I will be on medication for life and I don't do well with medication. I've had my cry and have gotten most of it out of my system. As I told my new Spiritual Director (yes, I finally got a new one! :D) when I say to God that I will do His will for me I do mean it but it scares the heck out of me to think that I have something that I will need medication for the rest of my life. There is a slight chance that the thyroid levels were a bit off since I had the blood work done while I was taking one of the stronger antibiotics for the horrible throat infection I had, and I do not have any of the symptoms of hypothyroidism, so I'm trying to not jump to any conclusions. I get my second round of blood work done in exactly a week and I get my full results on the 25th so we'll see what happens.

It's kind of funny that someone told me that I had the worst health luck out of anyone she knew because I don't think I do. I know so many people are far worse than I am, and at a much younger age, and I don't see things like my anxiety as a curse (in fact, I've come to see having anxiety as a blessing as I am able to offer up panic attacks for the souls in purgatory). As weird as it sounds, I feel closest to God when I am sick because it sort of takes me away from any selfish tendencies I might have and makes me focus on what is truly important and makes me more grateful for what I do have. At the same time, I'll admit that while doing the 54 Day Rosary Novena (I'm on day 41) I am praying for my health because I am about to enter my senior year of college and I want to make the most of it. Also, I want to work on my relationship with God while healthy because I feel like it needs a lot of work when I have no problems to deal with as opposed to when I am ill with something. As I said, as hard as it sometimes is for me to think that I am strong enough to handle whatever is handed to me, I know that God never gives us anything we can't handle and that as long as I do His will I'll be okay. Ultimately, I need to do what is right because my soul is what matters more than my mortal body.

And, speaking of that, I have been trying to attend daily Mass and it's been hit and miss. When my parish offers evening Masses, I am able to attend but when they only offer morning Masses (which is twice a week) I haven't been able to attend. I get very little sleep at night and in the wee hours of the morning because I have to take my mom to work at 4 a.m. My internal clock is so messed up (and my neighbors' drunken parties that end at 3 a.m. do not help) that I sleep anywhere between an hour to 3 before I have to get up and then it takes me anywhere between an hour to three to fall back asleep when I get home... yeah. I'll spare you guys the headache of figuring out the rest but let's just say that my favorite time of day (mornings) is wasted because I cannot keep a good sleeping schedule. My eating schedule is also off so it's a pain. I feel so at peace and so happy when I do go to daily Mass that not being able to attend Mass because my schedule is so off really bugs me. (And before I get any comments or advice, 1) I've tried everything (natural) to fall asleep early... 2) mom can't drive because she had a terrible car crash before I was born and is too nervous to drive... and 3) we cannot afford to pay taxis to take mom to work every day). I hope that my schedule will go back to normal (or at least that I will be allowed at least 5-6 hours of sleep without interruptions) when I go back to school since my classes will be in the morning and I cannot sleep until noon or 1 p.m. like I've been doing for the past two months. I will also have to get over my aversion of attending Mass on campus since I only have classes twice a week but those two days are the same ones on which they don't offer evening Masses. Oh what fun this all is, isn't it? By the way, if it sounded like a rant I'm sorry. That was not my intention. :)

Anyway, I think I've written long enough so I will say one more thing: this blog now has a Facebook Page so you can join and get updates whenever I have new posts. I know that it will be easier for some people than just checking every once in a while to see if anything has been updated. :) I need about 13 more people until I can get a proper URL (and therefore get a box to add to the blog) so please join if you can. :)

That's it for now. I'm currently reading Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen (and have already read Emma and Northanger Abbey -- Happy "Emmy declares late July through mid August Jane Austen Month" month :D) and I want to get back to it. That and a certain someone who made a guest post on this blog has turned reading books into competition with me so, you know, I gotta get back to finishing my novels. :D

I hope y'all are doing well and that those who will return to school soon enjoy the rest of their summer vacation. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

Saint Dreams, Part... I Seriously Lost Count.

*originally started August 4th but posted the 7th*

During the earlier days of this blog, I used to write about saint dreams I had. I used to have them more often in those days and then stopped for a while. They've been become frequent again and two have had the same message so I thought I'd share.

Those with whom I communicate on a fairly regular basis know that I haven't been feeling very close to God lately. I don't know why but I just can't concentrate as well as I have before while praying or making an earnest attempt to meditate. The more I try to get back on the track I was, the harder it is. When I make an effort to pray at a certain time, especially when it comes to the 54 day Rosary novena I am currently doing with Angelica, something gets in the way and it's delayed until it's almost too late (nearing midnight). I just feel like there's something blocking and I don't know how to get around it. I talked to my regular confessor about it but even with his advice I feel stuck. Maybe that's why I had the following dreams I am about to share. I won't go into great detail but just the gist so y'all will understand.

Last week I had a dream that involved me being inside a parish and seeing Bl. Pope John Paul II consecrating the Eucharist. I was there with two newlywed friends of mine (who were in their wedding attire) who could not see what I saw. Anyway, I was told that I needed to receiving the Eucharist every day. Last night I had another interesting dream in which both my vocation and the Eucharist was brought up. I've been having doubts about whether I had discern my vocation properly so it was interesting that it was brought up in my dream. Anyway, last night's dream involved St. John Vianney, whose feast day we are celebrating today. I was, once again, told that I needed to receive the Eucharist on a daily basis. There were mentions of spiritual attacks coming to me in the next couple of days but the main thing was that I needed to go to Mass daily. Period. No ifs, ands, or buts. Considering how I've been feeling, I wouldn't be surprised if this is what I need in my daily routine.

I normally don't put a lot of importance on my dreams because it's dangerous to think that you can predict things or are getting straight messages through your dreams. I've had quite a number of interesting dreams that I occasionally share with whomever else was in the dream with me but that's about it. These dreams, though, I cannot help but really think about. Whether they come from God or from my subconscious, I really feel a strong urge to go to Mass and receive the Eucharist daily. Like I said, maybe it's what I need to feel closer to God once again. Maybe it's something that will make me feel more complete. It'll be a challenge as my sleeping schedule is so out of whack most days and I return to school in a couple of weeks but I think I'm going to earnestly try to attend Mass daily -- especially in the morning as my evenings are usually crazier.

Anyway, I just wanted to share because I thought the dreams were awesome. I am happy that the saint dreams are returning after a short break from them (a break I didn't want).

I hope y'all have a great rest of week and enjoy this feast day. Say a pray for your parish priests. :)

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless!

Tale of a Young Singer-Songwriter Who Stuck By His Beliefs

I've been wanting to write this blog for the past two days now because I feel like it's a pretty unheard of tale that should be told. Take a talented young singer-songwriter, add a reality show, mix in a grand prize that every contestant wants to win and you get pretty much every reality show out there. But wait, add a dash of the grand prize being a 7-episode arc on one of the biggest television shows on air at the moment and you get the reality show, The Glee Project. With the popularity of Glee and the exposure the winner would get from appearing on it, it's a little perplexing as to why the young man, Cameron Mitchell, walked away from it all though he had made it through to the next round and into the top 5... that is, until you hear the reasons why he left.

Before I go on, I have to admit that I was not planning on watching this show. At all. I'm not a reality tv fan... at all. I'm sorry but I'm not. I have an interesting relationship with the show Glee as well so there was nothing that would get me to watch the show. That is, until I found out that Damian McGinty of the music group Celtic Thunder would appear. Being a CT fan (though I wouldn't consider myself a Thunderhead because I do not do some things Thunderheads do... some of y'all know what I mean) for the past 3-4 years and watching Damian sort of grow up made me curious in seeing how he would do on the show. So I watched and I'm now hooked on the show. lol. Anyway, I developed another favorite on the show who just happened to be Cameron. Every week I've rooted for those two, who subsequently became best friends in real life -- away from the cameras, and I was shocked when Cameron decided to walk away from the show... while feeling a sort of big-sister type of pride in his decision to walk away. I did want him or Damian to win the competition but I am so in awe of his decision as I know it must've not been an easy one.

Now here come the spoilers if you haven't watched the episode and want to watch it. Skip this paragraph if that's you. Cameron left the show because there were things that he was not comfortable with because of his beliefs. It was no secret that Cameron is a Christian. He wears a cross and does not shy away from saying "no" to something because it is against his beliefs. In a previous episode, one of the other contestants, Lindsay, kissed him during the shoot for a music video they had to do. It caught him by surprised and he immediately felt bad. He's had a girlfriend for the past two years and did not feel right to be kissing anyone whom he was not dating. He called his mother about how bad he felt. This weekend's episode had the theme of Sexuality. Once again, he was asked to kiss a female contestant, Hannah, for a video shoot but he decided not to do it as he did not feel comfortable doing it. Both of these times he was in the bottom 3 -- the group risking possible elimination. The head honcho of the Glee franchise, Ryan Murphy, asked Cameron what would happened if Cameron was the eventual winner of the competition and on set of Glee he was ordered to kiss someone like the star, Lea Michele, and he had problems with it? Cameron stuck to his guns and reiterated that because of his beliefs he would have to decline. Ryan Murphy saw it as a problem but he still wanted Cameron to stick it out. In the end Cameron decided that, after much thought, it was best for him to leave as he would be taking the spot of someone who would be willing to do what they were asked to advance in the competition. He bowed out gracefully and with conviction we often don't see on television... especially from young men. (By the way, by his leaving he ended up saving his best friend on the show, Damian, who Ryan had chosen to be the one eliminated that week.)

The reason why I felt so compelled to write about this was because, as I said, we don't see this happening... either on TV or in real life. Very few people know that when I was in my teens, I wanted to be an actress or at the very least a screenwriter. I wanted to break into the business and I nearly did. I actually walked away from it all the day I was offered a contract with an agency who wanted to represent me. A week after I turned 20 years old was the day I walked away and I've never looked back. I had friends in the business and I saw how the little bit of fame had changed them. One of them, a self-proclaimed Christian whom I briefly dated, had (on our last meeting) show me a semi-pornographic image I had no desire to see. There are VERY few Catholics and Christians who will stick to their beliefs in the business... and even less men than women. The only men that come to mind are Neal McDonough who was fired for refusing to do a sex scene, Eduardo Verastegui who had a total conversion and made the critically acclaimed movie Bella, and Kirk Cameron who asked for his wife to stand in for the leading lady in the movie Fireproof as he did not want to kiss anyone but his wife. While some people may say that it's just acting and that it's no big deal, I think it's very admirable for these men to stick up for what they believe.

I sincerely hope that others see what Cameron has done and see that, though it may not be the easiest thing in the world, it IS possible to do what is right... even if it's not the popular decision. I applaud Cameron for the decision he made and I wish nothing but the best for him. He has some music up on iTunes you can check out or you can send him a tweet of support at @camronmitchell. (Oh, and P.S. Can someone please tweet or retweet him this link as I have my twitter, @nerdwriter, set to private? Thank you!) :) #TeamCameron lives on though he is no longer on the show. Oh, and go #TeamDamian. :D

Anyway, I just wanted to share this with y'all. If you want to see the episode for yourself, it's episode 7 of the Glee Project. I think Hulu might have it but don't quote me on it. It might also be on Oxygen's Glee Project page.

That's it for now. It's 97 degrees in my part of Los Angeles and I am trying not to melt right now. lol. I hope y'all have a great week and enjoy what is becoming the last weeks of freedom for most of us.

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless! :D

Impromptu Vacation and Prayer

I'm tired from all the traveling done today (first by car and then by train) so I'll make this short and sweet.

Today I went to two places where it all began for me: the hospital where I was born (and where my father died) and the church where I was baptized at 3 months old. The picture is of that parish. Our Lady Queen of Angels Church next to Olvera Street in Downtown L.A. is where my parents introduced me to the Church. I hadn't visited the parish since I was a little girl so it was great to go back as an adult. A Spanish Mass was being celebrated but we did not stick around as I had gotten food poisoning from the fast food joint we hit in the morning (of course...) and couldn't enjoy the Mass. I hope I can go back one day soon and attend Mass there. :)

These next couple of days of impromptu vacation is happening because my mother has been diagnosed with depression. They are mistreating her at work, to the point where it's affecting her mental health, and the doctor order a couple of days of vacation. We won't be home much of the vacation as we were both ordered to go out but I will be updating twitter and this blog... though, I may warn you, I've been spending so much time reading novels (yes, actual books) that I haven't really gotten online much lately. I've noticed that I do much better when I don't spend much time online so I'm getting used to it. :)

Before I go, I just want to (once again) encourage you to pray the 9 Hour Novena to the Infant of Prague if you're in a pickle. I did it today while the food poisoning I have/had was at its worse and was out in Downtown L.A. (prior to boarding the train). It took me about 2-3 hours to get through it but I did and praying the Novena really helps keep me focused on what's important... not to mention that I felt much better and made it to my final destination in one piece.

Anyway, that's it for now. I want to expand on today's trip to Olvera Street but I can barely keep my eyes open so it'll have to wait. :)

I hope y'all have a great rest of week. I hope to blog soon but we'll see if I'll get a chance to before the week ends. :)

As always, thanks for reading and God bless.

P.S. New issue of Envoy Magazine is out. I have a new article on being Catholic in college so check it out if you get a chance. :D

World Youth Day (WYD) 2011 Theme Song

I usually leave these posts for Music Mondays but there have been many people searching for the WYD '11 Theme Song and have been landing on the post from the last WYD (2008). If you're on XT3 then you have the ability to hear all the different versions of the song and not just one of them. There is the International (multi-language song) version, Pop/Soul version, Orchestra version, and Choir version. Except for the International version are in Spanish which is unsurprising as WYD next month (a month already?!) is taking place in Madrid, Spain. I have to say that my favorite is the Choir version.

Here is the official video for the official theme song:


I'll be the first to admit that, despite some friends being overly critical about WYD and trying to persuade me to dislike it with intensity (why is that even necessary?), I very much wanted to go to WYD this year. After watching the last one via EWTN, I actually dreamt of attending this year's celebration and feeling that excitement and that youthful enthusiasm for myself. Alas, it wasn't in the cards for me: not only do I not have the funds but my senior year of college starts the day after it ends and I wouldn't have had the time to get back to L.A. and get over the jetlag in time. Maybe next time? Hoping it'll be closer to home next time.

Is anyone going to Madrid this year? If so, are you excited? If not, will you be watching online and via EWTN like I will? :)

Anyway, I am not feeling that great (stomach bugs like to plague me during the summer) so this is a short little post for now. Hopefully those looking for the new theme song will now find it easier. :)

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless! :D