Divine Mercy Novena - Day One.

First Day
"Today bring to Me all mankind, especially all sinners, and immerse them in the ocean of My mercy. In this way you will console Me in the bitter grief into which the loss of souls plunges Me."

Most Merciful Jesus, whose very nature it is to have compassion on us and to forgive us, do not look upon our sins but upon our trust which we place in Your infinite goodness. Receive us all into the abode of Your Most Compassionate Heart, and never let us escape from It. We beg this of You by Your love which unites You to the Father and the Holy Spirit.

Eternal Father, turn Your merciful gaze upon all mankind and especially upon poor sinners, all enfolded in the Most Compassionate Heart of Jesus. For the sake of His sorrowful Passion show us Your mercy, that we may praise the omnipotence of Your mercy for ever and ever. Amen.

When It Rains, It Pours. So Why am I Smiling?

I feel very much like the poor kitty in this picture. I have two more weeks until finals week so we're getting slammed by work that the professors are trying to catch up on. THIS is why I haven't posted in (nearly) a month. My week is mostly spent at school (yes, still at the CINO... more on that coming up), traveling to and from school, and/or reading. Even though this may be, I am still slightly behind in my schoolwork. I've quickly come to realize that anything over a 3.0 or 3.5 is a pipe dream at the CINO (I currently have a 2.88 and -- geek alert -- I used to get anywhere between 3.5 and 4.0 per semester) but since I decided not to compromise my beliefs for better grades... well... yeah. Unfortunately, I need at least a 3.0 because of the award/scholarship that will keep me at that school... and I need it after financial aid problems I've encountered this past week.

If you're living in California and in college you may familiar with Cal Grants. I've received a Cal Grant for three years (of four years of eligibility) and I've been told that that is it. I've been trying to fight the "verdict" of the California Student Aid Commission (I spent hours on the phone with them as well as my current college and former community college) and was basically told, in the rudest manner possible, that four years are not guaranteed, that I should not fight it, and that I'm done. I am going to start a novena to St. Jude Thaddeus today and the Divine Mercy novena starting on Good Friday (although that one is for another intention) because I need that Cal Grant. At this point I'm willing to take out the loans needed to graduate (as next year will be my senior year) but I know I should be eligible for one more year and I won't give up without a fight. Of course, I am fully prepared to think about going elsewhere if it's God's will for me to finish my Bachelor of Arts somewhere else. (side note: I think this is something that a lot of us forget... even if we do novenas and pray, things may not come to fruition because it's simply not God's will for us.)

I've been having one of those "when it rains, it pours" spells. The past two weeks have been horrible. I misunderstanding with a friend (which might've cost the friendship) was the first bump and I've been on a roller coaster of emotions. It's definitely been a trying time. I've had moments where I've felt this sense of despair trying to wash over me but I was able (with a lot of work) to keep it away. Yesterday especially was a hard day when it seemed that it was impossible for me to pay for my senior year of college. I had these "it's over... that's it" moments and when my mom mentioned that I should leave it in God's hands I felt a sense of anger trying to creep in... and it was very unlike me to react that way. I was not angry that my mom was saying these things because I kept that first and foremost in my mind. I kept saying "No... no. God has got my back. He knows what's best for me. Everything will work out" even though I had these conflicting emotions. Like I said, it was a very unusual thing for me to feel this but, thanks be to God, I was able to keep those incredibly negative and horrible thoughts and feelings away. Now, for the record, I am not saying that there was some supernatural, evil force that had a hand in my inner conflict yesterday... or lately. I cannot sit here and speculate. However, I can, and am, acknowledging that I certainly kept thinking that God has and always will be there for me and that is enough reason for me to smile.

While it can feel as if everything is slowly falling around me, I have to keep in mind that everything happens for a reason and that there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe it's the fact that I'm an "eternal optimist" and am always looking for hope in the bleakest of situations. The potential end of the friendship? If it does end maybe it's for the best for both people involved. I have no ill thoughts or will towards the other person and I'm willing to talk through things but if it's not in God's will that it is repaired, for whatever reason, may His will be done. If I end up losing my Cal Grant and my scholarship (scary thought for this self-proclaimed academic nerd) and if I apply elsewhere (not a CINO college, I learned the hard way to stay away from those) and get a better financial aid packet, that's where I'll go. It's really hard for me to think that these things may end or that plans may drastically change but if it's what's best for me then I must do it. Just knowing that I truly believe that every obstacle I will encounter will only make me a stronger person and will only bring me closer to God keeps me going. To quote Dory from Finding Nemo: "Just keep swimming... just keep swimming..." With God at my side, I have nothing to worry about. That alone will keep me smiling that dorky smile I have (haha, it really is dorky) and will keep me centered.

Anyway, I know I'm not the only one going through this nor is my situation the worst so I will remember all of y'all in my prayers. We Catholics need to have each other's backs during these "when it rains, it pours" moments. :)

I think I should finish this post so I can finish homework due in an hour and a half. Yeah... cutting it close but it's my only chance to update for the rest of the day. I will try to post more often as I have a feeling that writing will keep me slightly saner during finals week and the final push of the semester. :D

I hope y'all are having a good week thus far and, if not, let me know if there's anything I can do... even if it's a novena or a simple prayer. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D

Bittersweet St. Patrick's Day

If you're a Facebook friend or follow me on Twitter you'll know why today has been a bittersweet St. Patrick's Day. My niece's little daughter (my brother's granddaughter and my dad's first great grandchild) passed away at 5:30 this morning. On Monday she nearly drowned and she'd been in the hospital since that night. The oxygen was cut off from her brain and she was unresponsive though her pulse had been steady up until last night. The doctors told us to abandon hope yesterday and I stubbornly refused to. The chances of survival were at 20% but we still hoped and prayed. We were just recovering for the major blow of my dad's death (I was still heavily mourning a year ago) so this was horribly unexpected.

It's a little strange that my favorite day of the year (besides Christmas) will now be the anniversary of my little niece's death. I seriously looked forward to this day more than I do my birthday. This was going to be the first year I would celebrate St. Patrick's Day with confirmation that I'm actually part Irish (it was confirmed while going through my father's things and family tree). I'm sure in the coming years I'll be able to look at today as being the day in which my dad was joined by his first great granddaughter in heaven and will celebrate her life like I would any other member of my life. Today, I will mourn her death.

If y'all could please say a little prayer for my little niece, I would greatly appreciate it. May her mother (my older niece), her grandparents (my brother and sister-in-law), and the rest of the family make it through this time.

I'm sorry for such a downer post. I actually planned on talking about Irish Catholic traditions and more about my discovery of my Irish heritage (which was amazing for this Hibernophile) but maybe I'll wait until next year.

I hope y'all have a great St. Patrick's Day and that those who will go out drinking will be safe and have a designated driver.

Catholic Media Promotion Day

I know, I know... I'm a little late posting this as it's nearly 9 p.m. but today is my long day (Tuesdays and Thursdays I'm on campus all day) so I have a valid excuse. ;) I am actually supposed to be doing Statistics (ah, math class) homework but I think writing this post is a good excuse to put it off a little while longer. ;)

Anyway, today is "Catholic Media Promotion Day" and I wanted to contribute to it by posting this blog post with links to my favorite sites, blogs, podcasts, etc.

Three blogs:
- What Does The Prayer Really Say?. Fr. Z is the man. Can we please hire him at my CINO college so that we can get a proper education?

- Catholica Omnia. Not only is Thomas my occasional partner in tweeting crime (if you have either one of us on Twitter you'll know what I mean, lol), but I've gotten a lot of great use of the Catechism posts he's been posting for the past year.

- Catholic Fire. One of the first Catholic blogs I followed shortly after creating this one, I've learned a lot from Jean Heimann.

Three Websites:
- Catholic News Agency This site, along with the one below (Zenit) are the first places I look for my news of the Catholic world.

- Zenit I get their news delivered to my inbox on a daily basis which makes it easy for my "always at school/doing homework" schedule.

- CatholicsConfess.It Created by my good friend Andrew (who's also my "go-to" guy for advice), this is the new kid on the block. I used it for my last confession and I will continue using it... and you should do the same.

Three Podcasts:
- The Break with Fr. Roderick An awesome priest who embraces his geeky side. Enough said.

- The SaintCast. Dr. Paul Camarata, whom I interviewed from Catholic Blogger Month, hasn't updated the podcast much in months but it's worth going back to listen to past episodes.

- Catholic Foodie. Hi, my name is Emmy... I'm a Catholic, a foodie, and I listen to Catholic Foodie. If you haven't checked out this podcast, do it... now.

Random Catholic Stuff Online:
- Patrick Madrid. Do I even need to introduce him to y'all? lol. One of my favorite apologists whom I'm lucky enough to call a friend.

- Grace Before Meals. Like I said, I'm a foodie. lol. Also, Fr. Leo has great recipes and he does an excellent job on weaving food and faith together.

- 54 Day Rosary Novena. I've done the novena twice already and I cannot recommend it enough.

My Own Projects:
- Journey of a Catholic Nerd Writer. Have I thanked y'all enough for continuing to read my blog? Thank you. Thank you. THANK YOU!

- Envoy Magazine. Once upon a time I was just a girl with a blog. Then Patrick Madrid stumbled upon this blog and before you knew it I was offered the amazing opportunity to write to Envoy Magazine. My first article, A Gift From My Father, debuted in issue 9.3 and I will keep y'all updated when the next article is released. :)

- To Be Announced. Apart from my first novel, a good friend of mine and I are in the process of creating a website aimed to a specific demographic which we feel is currently being overlooked. Stay tuned for more inform. ;)

And that is it. I'm sorry this post is so short but I still have math homework to do and I'm in the final month and a half of the semester so you know I'm all over it like white on rice. lol. :) As soon as I get a break from homework (hopefully on Friday), I will finish and post the Lenten post I've been working on. :)

I hope y'all had a great day and have a wonderful rest of week. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D

Novena to St. Gemma Galgani: Day Nine

Day 9
Oh most Divine Lord, we humbly prostrate ourselves before Thy Infinite Majesty, and we adore Thee and dedicate to Thy glory the devout prayers which we now present to Thee, as an act of devotion to your servant, Saint Gemma Galgani, whose intercession we are now imploring.

Oh most lovable St Gemma, we ask you to be our patroness and special friend today and always. Assist us in our daily spiritual and material needs and teach us to know, love and serve the Lord our God with all our hearts. Accompany us, along with our guardian Angel, in all our ways, and guide us lovingly to Heaven. Assist us at the time of our death along with Jesus, Mary and Joseph, and plead our cause before God, and trusting in His great mercy and the Passion of Jesus thy Spouse, obtain for us the salvation of our souls, and also the favor that we now humbly request (mention request).

Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory be.
Pray for us, Saint Gemma, that we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.

Let us pray. O God, Who fashioned thy servant Sain Gemma into a likeness of Thy Crucified Son, grant us through her intercession the favor that we humbly request, and through the Passion Death and Resurrection of Thy Son, may we be united with You for all eternity. We ask this through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.