Novena to St. Gemma Galgani: Day Nine

Day 9
Oh most Divine Lord, we humbly prostrate ourselves before Thy Infinite Majesty, and we adore Thee and dedicate to Thy glory the devout prayers which we now present to Thee, as an act of devotion to your servant, Saint Gemma Galgani, whose intercession we are now imploring.

Oh most lovable St Gemma, we ask you to be our patroness and special friend today and always. Assist us in our daily spiritual and material needs and teach us to know, love and serve the Lord our God with all our hearts. Accompany us, along with our guardian Angel, in all our ways, and guide us lovingly to Heaven. Assist us at the time of our death along with Jesus, Mary and Joseph, and plead our cause before God, and trusting in His great mercy and the Passion of Jesus thy Spouse, obtain for us the salvation of our souls, and also the favor that we now humbly request (mention request).

Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory be.
Pray for us, Saint Gemma, that we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.

Let us pray. O God, Who fashioned thy servant Sain Gemma into a likeness of Thy Crucified Son, grant us through her intercession the favor that we humbly request, and through the Passion Death and Resurrection of Thy Son, may we be united with You for all eternity. We ask this through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Novena to St. Gemma Galgani: Day Eight

Day 8
Oh most Divine Lord, we humbly prostrate ourselves before Thy Infinite Majesty, and we adore Thee and dedicate to Thy glory the devout prayers which we now present to Thee, as an act of devotion to your servant, St Gemma Galgani, whose intercession we are now imploring.

Oh most fervent St Gemma, so many times you shed countless tears over your sins, and sought constantly to do penance and to make reparation for them. We who are so inclined to pamper ourselves, always seeking to gratify our senses and excuse ourselves from every penance, help us to recognize the infinite sufferings that Jesus endured for our sins, and all the pains we caused Him, and with the Passion of Jesus in mind, obtain for us a great sorrow and desire to never commit such sins again.

Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory be.
Pray for us, Saint Gemma, that we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.

Let us pray. O God, Who fashioned thy servant Saint Gemma into a likeness of Thy Crucified Son, grant us through her intercession the favor that we humbly request (mention request), and through the Passion Death and Resurrection of Thy Son, may we be united with You for all eternity. We ask this through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Novena to St. Gemma Galgani: Day Seven

Day 7
Oh most Divine Lord, we humbly prostrate ourselves before Thy Infinite Majesty, and we adore Thee and dedicate to Thy glory the devout prayers which we now present to Thee, as an act of devotion to your servant, St Gemma Galgani, whose intercession we are now imploring.

Oh holy saint of the Passion of Jesus, St Gemma, as a soul victim you were always pleading for the salvation of sinners. Obtain for us, we beg you, not only the grace that we are asking, if it would be God’s will (mention request) but most importantly obtain for us the conversion and salvation of our souls, so that someday we may be untied with Jesus, Mary and you for all eternity.

Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory be.
Pray for us, Saint Gemma, that we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.

Let us pray. O God, Who fashioned thy servant Saint Gemma into a likeness of Thy Crucified Son, grant us through her intercession, the favor that we humbly request, and through the Passion Death and Resurrection of Thy Son may we be united with You for all eternity. We ask this through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Novena to St. Gemma Galgani: Day Six

Day 6
Oh most Divine Lord, we humbly prostrate ourselves before Thy Infinite Majesty, and we adore Thee and dedicate to Thy glory the devout prayers which we now present to Thee, as an act of devotion to your servant, St Gemma Galgani, whose intercession we are now imploring.

Beloved Gem of Christ St Gemma, whose heart was all on fire for the love of God, teach us to love God with all our hearts, minds and souls, and fervently place God above all things, so “ that where our treasure is, there also will our heart be.” (Matt 6:21)

Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory be.
Pray for us, Saint Gemma, that we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.

Let us pray. O God, Who fashioned thy servant Saint Gemma into a likeness of Thy Crucified Son, grant us through her intercession, the favor that we humbly request (mention request), and through the Passion Death and Resurrection of Thy Son may we be united with You for all eternity. We ask this through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Novena to St. Gemma Galgani: Day Five

Day 5
Oh most Divine Lord, we humbly prostrate ourselves before Thy Infinite Majesty, and we adore Thee and dedicate to Thy glory the devout prayers which we now present to Thee, as an act of devotion to your servant, St Gemma Galgani, whose intercession we are now imploring.

Oh glorious St Gemma, for years you greatly desired to enter the consecrated religious life, but God desired otherwise, telling you after many years that it was not to be, and thereby causing you such great disappointment. Yet, you accepted this great sacrifice and resigned yourself to the will of God. Teach us then, dear St Gemma, to accept the sacrifices or sufferings that God sends us, especially those that are very much against our own will and desires.

Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory be.
Pray for us, Saint Gemma, that we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.

Let us pray. O God, Who fashioned thy servant Saint Gemma into a likeness of Thy Crucified Son, grant us through her intercession, the favor that we humbly request (mention request), and through the Passion Death and Resurrection of Thy Son may we be united with You for all eternity. We ask this through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Novena to St. Gemma Galgani: Day Four

Day 4
Oh most Divine Lord, we humbly prostrate ourselves before Thy Infinite Majesty, and we adore Thee and dedicate to Thy glory the devout prayers which we now present to Thee, as an act of devotion to your servant, St Gemma Galgani, whose intercession we are now imploring.

Blessed St Gemma, you who by the will of God, suffered the loss of both of your parents at a young age, and suffered countless pains in body and spirit, teach us how to sacrifice and to suffer out of love for God, that we too may expiate our sins here on earth, and thereby become more worthy of the infinite treasure of being united with God in heaven.

Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory be.
Pray for us, Saint Gemma, that we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.

Let us pray. O God, Who fashioned thy servant Saint Gemma into a likeness of Thy Crucified Son, grant us through her intercession the favor that we humbly request (mention request), and through the Passion Death and Resurrection of Thy Son, may we be united with You for all eternity. We ask this through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Novena to St. Gemma Galgani: Day Three

DAY 3
Oh most Divine Lord, we humbly prostrate ourselves before Thy Infinite Majesty, and we adore Thee and dedicate to Thy glory the devout prayers which we now present to Thee, as an act of devotion to your servant, St Gemma Galgani, whose intercession we are now imploring.

O most loving virgin St. Gemma, with an intense love for Jesus you suffered immensely for the conversion of sinners as a victim for sin, and you loved others greatly, out of love for God. Do not forget us then, who remain here on earth, and look down with kindness on us who implore thee, in the confident hope of receiving this favor through thy loving intercession (mention request)

Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory be.
Pray for us, St. Gemma, that we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.

Let us pray. O God, Who fashioned thy servant St Gemma, into a likeness of Thy Crucified Son, grant us through her intercession, the favor that we humbly request, and through the Passion Death and Resurrection of Thy Son, may we be united with You for all eternity. We ask this through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Novena to St. Gemma Galgani: Day Two

DAY 2
Oh most Divine Lord, we humbly prostrate ourselves before Thy Infinite Majesty, and we adore Thee and dedicate to Thy glory the devout prayers which we now present to Thee, as an act of devotion to your servant, St Gemma Galgani, whose intercession we are now imploring.

O worthy Spouse of the Lamb of God and faithful virgin St Gemma, you preserved the innocence and splendor of virginity, giving to the world a bright example of purity and the most exalted virtues, look down with pity from thy high place in heaven upon us who confide in thee, as we implore thee for the favor we so ardently desire (mention request)

Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory be.
Pray for us, St. Gemma, that we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.

Let us pray. O God, Who fashioned thy servant St Gemma, into a likeness of Thy Crucified Son, grant us through her intercession, the favor that we humbly request, and through the Passion Death and Resurrection of Thy Son, may we be united with You for all eternity. We ask this through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Novena to St. Gemma Galgani: Day One

As y'all know, I am a novena machine. I love praying novenas. Since St. Gemma Galgani's feast day is coming up, and since I've learned a lot about myself by learning about her own life and struggles, I thought I'd start her novena. :D I've already had a couple of prayer requests so if you have one yourself, please let me know. :)

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Day One:
Oh most Divine Lord, we humbly prostrate ourselves before Thy Infinite Majesty, and we adore Thee and dedicate to Thy glory the devout prayers which we now present to Thee, as an act of devotion to your servant, St Gemma Galgani, whose intercession we are now imploring.

Most compassionate virgin, St. Gemma, during thy short life on earth, you gave a most beautiful example of angelic innocence and seraphic love and was found worthy to bear in thy flesh the marks of our Lord's Passion. Have pity on us who are so much in need of God's Mercy, and obtain for us through thy merits and intercession, the special favor which we now fervently implore (mention request)

Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory be.
Pray for us, St. Gemma, that we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.

Let us pray. O God, Who fashioned thy servant St Gemma, into a likeness of Thy Crucified Son, grant us through her intercession, the favor that we humbly request, and through the Passion Death and Resurrection of Thy Son, may we be united with You for all eternity. We ask this through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

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I will post her novena (or the next part) throughout the next couple of days. I may write separate posts during these days and if I do I will post the novena first and the other entry second. :)

Anyway, I'm in the middle of cleaning (I just felt like going through everything in the house and cleaning) so I am going to try to finish that before the new Celtic Thunder show airs on PBS tonight. ;)

'Til next time, thanks for reading and God Bless! :D

Catholic Bookstores

As a literature nerd, I can spend hours in a Borders without getting bored. Just ask my little adopted sister Delaney, I completely geek out at a bookstore. I also get a bit mischievous and I hide anti-Catholicism books in back of Catholics ones. I'll also put good saint or G.K. Chesterton books in plain view. Again, just ask Delaney as she was an accomplice last time I did that at a Borders bookstore. lol. Anyway, while I do spend a good amount of time in secular bookstores, I've made a conscience effort to go to more Catholic bookstores.

Just today I went to Pauline Books and Media in Culver City (which is only a hop, skip and jump away from my school). Can someone fall in love with a bookstore? If not, I might be the first one. I was like a kid in a candy store. I wasn't the only one either; my mother was in literary heaven. She usually has a hard time finding books since she sticks to Spanish language books and the pickings are usually slim. Not at Pauline though. We both spent a good hour or so just browsing. I found a lot of books I'd been looking for (but hadn't found), including the last copy they had of Christian Courtship in an Oversexed World: a Guide for Catholics by T.G. Morrow which I'd been looking for for months. Sadly, I did not find anything on St. Gemma Galgani. The only thing they had was a holy/prayer card, which I ended up getting. Apparently, it's really hard to get any sort of biography of her here in the U.S. so I will wait until I go to Italy to try to find a copy.

I can't rave enough about this bookstore. I loved both the Daughters of St. Paul and the lay women that worked there. All were very sweet. One of them in particular helped my mom out with books in Spanish which I hadn't even heard of. There is a small chapel inside the bookstore where you can go for the Eucharistic Adoration they have at 2 p.m. (which we stayed for). We left on a first name basis with the lady that helped my mother, but not before we got hugs and smiles to last us until the next time we go... which will most likely be very soon.

I'd never come out of a bookstore feeling as elated and at peace as I did out of Pauline Books. I mean, I'd gone to one other Catholic bookstore before (St. Peter's Pier in Canoga Park; one block west of Pierce College) but it was tiny compared to Pauline Books. I think that it helped that I had been doing research on the Daughters of St. Paul before I went -- not for my vocation as I know I am not called to be a religious sister. (btw, if I were called to be a religious sister, I would've loved to have been a Daughter of St. Paul. They do exactly what I want to do.) Anyway, I was so glad I went and that I was able to find a couple of books to help me through this Lenten season. I made quite a dent in one of them already so look for a book review on it very soon (as soon as I can catch up on my homework and whatnot).

Now, I have a question for you Catholics... do you tend to buy your books from a secular bookstore or do you try to get them at Catholic bookstores? I've often gotten some of mine via Aquinas and More but I've gotten others through either Amazon or Borders. After really thinking about it, I've made it a goal to get my books at Pauline or Aquinas and More. I would feel better knowing that my money is going to a bookstore that won't stock up on books about things that are against Catholic beliefs that are morally wrong (i.e. books on abortion.) (P.S. You fellow Jane Austen fanatics, I saw both books AND DVDs of Jane Austen novels in Pauline Books. I had to keep myself from buying the 1995 BBC version of Pride and Prejudice. lol)

Alright, I actually have to go because it's really late and I need to catch up on homework. Procrastination is my constant companion this semester and I'm trying to change that. :)

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D

Illness, Suffering, and St. Gemma Galgani

Wasn't St. Gemma Galgani absolutely gorgeous? If you didn't know that this is an authentic picture of her, you do now. ;)

I will be the first to admit that I don't actually know much about St. Gemma Galgani though I've had a very strong urge to learn more about her since the first time I knew her name. I still don't know as much as I'd like but I am going to make her my first saint during Lent. What I mean about that is that I will learn as much as I can about her until St. Therese of Lisieux's autobiography makes it into my hands (she was my planned first saint during Lent.) I think it's entirely appropriate that I focus on learning as much as I can from St. Gemma because of what I've been going through lately.

It seems like my health is going downhill again, and I pray that it's just the anxiety symptoms playing tricks on my mind. I've always hated going to the doctor's but ever since I started spending a lot of my time in and out of emergencies rooms (starting around summer 2006), I've loathed it even more. I always seem to dread it even more when I'm actually feeling sick... mostly because I'm scared to find out what's wrong with me. Tomorrow's doctor appointment will be one of those days where I wish it was just a routine check-up... and I'm honestly nervous.

Ever since my father was diagnosed with cancer the first time (summer 2002), I've been VERY nervous when I go in for my appointments or test results. Before, not so much. I was a healthy child and wasn't at the doctor's often, but as I got older and the anxiety appeared, it's gotten worse. I've had three big scares in the past 2-3 years in which I needed a thyroid biopsy (for enlarged lymph node), an echo cardiogram (to check my heart), and an ultra sound to make sure that a bump found was not a tumor. Luckily, all have turned out well -- the lymph node was benign and thyroid levels were normal, my heart is healthy and has a great structure, and news of a no big deal cyst that washed away fears of early breast cancer. Last month when I went to the emergency room for an allergic reaction, the doctor said she felt like my lymph node had enlarged and that I should ask my regular physician to have a look at it. I'd been given the "okay" not to get it checked out until next (this) year but they might have to check again because a lot of things have been "off" with me since the end of December.

I hope the lymph node hasn't enlarged or gotten worse, though thyroid problems could explain some of my symptoms. I hope that all the symptoms I've been experiencing lately (everything from really bad nausea and bad hot flashes to rapid heartbeats and the feeling like I can't breathe, etc.) are all anxiety related. A good friend of mine said that it may be that all the stress and anxiety that came with my dad's death might've finally caught up with me, physically, because I had little to no symptoms most of last year. I hope she is right.

My anxiety HAS been worse lately, too. Like I said, I feel like I can't breathe... and it gets really scary sometimes. I had a particularly bad experience yesterday while I was going all over L.A. trying to get my final grade transcripts sent from various campuses/schools. I was just sitting on the bus and then I couldn't breathe. I felt a sort of crushing pressure in my chest... I couldn't catch my breath... I just wanted to bolt out of the bus and cry. That's how bad anxiety is, and it wasn't my worst attack. Panic attacks hard to explain because they always feel worse than how they can be described. All I kept thinking is "God, I am putting myself in your hands at this moment. I won't lament whatever happens to me... just take care of my mom."

I think that that's why I'm most scared that something is wrong with me -- because of mom. I don't want her to have to suffer along with me, and I know seeing the anxiety attack me lately has starting taking a toll on her. As much as I say that it's all up to God and that His will won't be fought (at least I won't fight it), the possibility of something being wrong with me still wigs me out. If I am sick (and it isn't anxiety related), will I have the strength to endure it? If it's just anxiety, I will sigh a huge sigh of relief because I've been stressed for the past two months (when these symptoms appeared).

As I think about everything I just wrote, I have two major thoughts that kind to mind. First, I keep thinking about the time I was called a victim soul. Though (when I say I'm sick I usually mean that it's anxiety/panic related) everyone seems to think I'm always sick (physically), I don't think I am. I do know that I deal with a lot of things that aren't too common, but I still can't see myself as a victim soul. I have accepted that I will suffer from anxiety for as long as I have to, but I don't look at it was a curse. As I've always said, I was look at these experiences as blessings from God because it's when I feel nearest to Him. A quote from St. Gemma that I found on this site has stuck out for me... especially when I think about my appointment tomorrow and the possible news I could get.

“I am happy in every way that Jesus wills, and if Jesus wants the sacrifice of my life, I give it to Him at once. If He wants anything else, I am ready. One thing alone is enough for me; to be his victim, in order to atone for my innumerable sins, and if possible, for those of the whole world.” - St. Gemma Galgani

I will keep St. Gemma and her words in my mind as I wait for the doctor to see me because I agree with her. I say the same thing, only I think I may be more selfish because I ask God to help me whenever I'm really sick and I feel like I can no longer endure it.

The second thought is one that my friend (and former Ethics course classmate) Elizabeth said when she visited me last week when I was having a really bad sick day (anxiety, pain, and other symptoms). She said that whoever God sends me (for our vocation of marriage) is going to have to be a strong man because of what I go through. She's right. I am not saying that I will always be sick (I haven't always been), but I do get what she meant. I haven't had an easy life (but, really, who has?) and I'm going to need someone who is strong and secure to deal with someone like me. There is a reason I say this, but it will have to wait until tomorrow's entry. :)

I think I've written quite a bit tonight so I am going to stop. I still have a list of all the symptoms I've experienced so I can help my doctor narrow down the possible causes. I am lucky I have a good doctor who will tell me to things thoroughly, especially when she knows it'll ease my anxiety. I will remain optimistic (hoping and praying everything is either anxiety related or not too bad), but I am ready for whatever God has in store for me. :D Whatever the outcome, I will make sure to pick up something on St. Gemma Galgani when I go to either St. Peter's Pier or Pauline Books and Media later this week (if they have anything on her).

For those of you who are checking this blog daily (even though I have not been announcing the new entries up on twitter), thank you! And thank you for your prayers for mom. Hopefully we can all help alleviate some of her depression. :)

'Til next time, thanks for reading and God Bless!