Hearing God's Wisdom Through Others

I've been feeling pretty terrible the last two days. I'm fairly certain it's something I had to eat but the symptoms are kind of weird so I've had a couple of people suggest spiritual attacks. I started the Undoer of Knots novena yesterday so, who knows, it may just be that. Either way, even though I've felt plum awful -- especially this morning when it was so bad I actually reached out to friends to pray for me -- I've been grateful for this experience because it's led me to have amazing moments of clarity through the words of my friends.

I know I've talked about my best friend in the past but just in passing. God has blessed me with such a kindhearted bestie; a young woman who has the gentlest soul of anyone I've ever met. Ever meet someone who makes you want to be the best and holiest version of yourself; someone who believes that you're better than you think you are? She's that for me. If anyone is destined for sainthood, it's her.

Sometimes we go weeks without touching base because we're currently on two different continents and the time difference in a killer. However, God has blessed me with the opportunity to talk to her quite a bit the last couple of days and has, in turn, brought much-needed clarity on things I've been struggling with in recent weeks.

Due to the personal nature of them (and y'all know I don't like to talk about my most private life) and out of respect for her, I can't say what we talked about. However, I can say that I'm sure that the Holy Spirit used her to get me to open my eyes to things I was either blind to or in denial of. It's not the first time it's happened -- nor do I believe it will be the last time. And, to think, if it hadn't gotten very sick at 4-5 a.m., I would've missed out on being able to have a long conversation with her during the little free time she had!

She hasn't been the only one that I'm sure God has used recently to help me. Two other friends (whom I also consider some of my best friends) also helped me see that there were things holding me back from growing as a person and in my spiritual life; things that incited the feelings of intense fear. It wasn't until I talked to them (all 3) that I felt like God was telling me, "Do not be afraid. I will take care of you and I will help guide you."

I didn't write this post to brag about the amazing friends I have -- although, my goodness, I am completely unworthy of such friendships! The point of this blog was a gentle reminder to listen to others carefully. It's so easy to dismiss someone's advice or conversation, thinking they have no right to get involved in your time or, worse, think you know better than they do. It's that pride that pops up and can make you miss so many helpful things.

Of course, not all advice will be good. I've received more terrible advice than good. I think that's what occasionally causes me to let words go in through one ear and come out the other. That and pride. Still, I think some of us are so used to getting advice that isn't edifying that we tune out the good; that we fail to listen to God's voice through those who know us best.

I guess this is my public "thank you" to both my wonderful friends and, most of all, to God. During this time when I felt the most vulnerable (and I do feel it most when I'm so sick that I wonder if a trip to urgent care is in the cards for me), He was able to speak to me through those whose advice I most trust and value. Now I'm going to take what was said to me and put it into practice.

Anyway, just a little something I wanted to share. Oh, and please say a prayer for me if you can. Whether it's just a really, really bad case of indigestion and/or whether they're spiritual attacks, I could really use the smallest prayer if you can spare it. God reward you!

I hope you all have a lovely weekend!

As always, thanks for reading and God bless!

Book Review: How to Get to "I Do" A Dating Guide for Catholic Women

Whoever said using Twitter was pointless was wrong. If it hadn't been for Twitter, and author Amy Bonaccorso sending me a friend request, I wouldn't have heard of this book when I was in the midst of (sort of) questioning my vocation. I have always been a firm believer that everything happens for a reason so when I was re-thinking my vocation after a particular difficult time for me this, for me, was like a sign from God to have patience and that what I was experiencing was just a little bump in the road. Now, I don't particular like talking about my relationships and that part of my life but I will disclose some things that I think will helpful when reviewing this book. By the way, for me to do this means that the book was actually helpful which is more than I can say for other books aimed for single Catholic women whose vocation is marriage.

First off, I actually ended up loving this book a lot more than I had anticipated. I've read (and reviewed) other books dealing with the same subject but I felt like this book was the only one that was realistic in how relationships truly are. Others tend to romanticize relationships. Although I am a hardcore Janeite and am a hopeless romantic, I do know that real life is not a Disney fairy tale. I like to call myself a romantic realist. A lot of books play up the romance once you find the person with whom you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with. They don't tell you about all the frogs thrown against the wall (instead of kissing them) or about how we should not have our minds clouded by visions of engagement rings and wedding bells. What I liked the most of this book is that it covers everything from the dating to after the wedding which most other books won't even go into. Amy acknowledges that we are human and that we do make mistakes and she works with us instead of preaching.

When you get to be my age (golly, that makes me sound old doesn't it? lol), people begin to question why you aren't married or with children. Especially in the Hispanic community, it's almost unheard of for a young woman to not have at least a significant other at 25. I often get questions on whether I feel my "biological clock ticking", especially since there are more complications during pregnancy as a woman gets older. I must admit that I do occasionally think about it because I do have a strong desire for children (a far cry from my "no children, thank you" stance at 20 years-old, before my reversion). At the same time, I don't want to rush myself or things so I've had a "slow and steady" view. This book covers that... and how! The chapter of "Secular Sisterhood", as well as the entire book, made me realize that I was relying way too much on having God put the guy in my path. I was stuck in the same little rut and that if I want to meet people I have to actually get out there (while still maintaining my morals and beliefs.) There were some things that were advised that I wasn't entirely comfortable with because of my temperament.

I'm actually pretty shy at first, especially when around people of the opposite sex, so of the suggestions to get out there and mingle are a bit daunting for me. It's not as easy for me to be so open right off the bat. It isn't until I feel comfortable enough with someone that I act like the goofball that I am with friends and family. I felt like my personality wasn't compatible with some of the advice in which she encourages us to actually get out there and date. I occasionally felt as if I were almost being pushed into acting in a way that is very outside my comfort level. I actually had to look within to figure out why that was and even after I figured it out, I was still not entirely sure it was for me... but that's okay. I did see where she came from and I can see why she would advice some things but I'd have to modify it to fit my own personal comfort level. I liked that I got this out of the book as I hadn't with any other before. It made me feel more confident about how I feel about dating and who I was as an individual person.

Throughout the entire thing I kept thinking about recommending it to various people, Catholic and non-Catholics alike, because it's full of great advice. Amy mentions setting a time limit with the vocation discernments which I, from personal experience, found to be excellent advice. When I was discerning my own vocation I didn't set one for myself but Fr. Leo did... at I was glad he did. He saw something in me that I was still figuring out and advised me to wait 2 years before I decided on becoming a nun. Before the two years were up I knew in my heart that the religious life wasn't for me. Discerning a religious vocation should be taken seriously and not delayed which many young women and men do. I LOVED (yes, it needed to be in caps) that she mentioned that the single life should not be the "last option" if you're not called to the religious life and can't find a person. I have seen many friends seriously consider the priesthood/religious life or becoming a consecrated single because they can't find anyone and their patience isn't the best.

This book really goes into online dating which I was a little wary on. I'm not knocking it but I've always been friends with someone before dating them and I feel like a lot of people just want to jump into relationships because they're physically attracted to someone (and only for that reason). Some people also try to present themselves in a way that they aren't (putting their best foot forward... even if it's not who they really are) which makes me a little nervous. At the end I have come to consider it because it may a little easier as I blush and stutter easily when I first meet people. I still haven't done it because I'm very cautious (hi, mostly Phelgmatic here, remember?) but I'm more open minded to the idea of using it.

Like I said at the beginning of this post, I was actually going through a bit of a weird time in which I was questioning whether I had discerned my vocation properly. I had actually begun the second 54 day Rosary novena (which ended yesterday) to pray for not only my vocation but also that of a couple of my friends. It was a time when I wasn't the only one questioning their vocation but I was the only one who was sure that their vocation was that of marriage and not religious life or of being a consecrated single. Without going into much detail, I was dealing with feelings for a friend who was (and still is) discerning his own vocation while having another fella from my past show up and thus reminded me of a time in which I seriously considered becoming a Carmelite nun. It was a lot of fun. lol. I also had other things that contributed to my confusion. Since I don't have a spiritual director at the moment (and haven't had one since Fr. Leo passed away a little over a year ago) I was trying to make sense of everything without much help. The novena (which is always hard at first) was something I started hoping to either be at peace with my vocation or to help me figure things out. I didn't like that I was going into a spiritual desert (which I endured throughout most of Advent almost up until Christmas). A couple of days into novena came friend request and the eventual purchase on Amazon. It was the best decision I made during my time in the spiritual desert and it helped me make sense of the feelings I had for a friend with some amazing epiphanies that helped me greatly.

If I had to summarize this book in a nutshell I'd call it advice you'd get from an older sister who wants the best for you... without being preachy. A lot of dating/courtship/relationship books aimed for Christian women are a little too much. While I do agree that God should have a place in a relationship, this book doesn't shove it down your throat. It didn't have a "if you don't do this and this and that then you're displeasing God and thus ruining your relationship" vibe. Again, she acknowledges that everyone is different and that we're not perfect which takes the pressure off of feeling like we must behave in a certain way. I would definitely recommend this book for single women AND men (and I was mentally making a list of which guy friends I'll personally speak to about this book) of all ages. :D

I don't think this is the last time I will write about vocations as I'm taking a Theology of Marriage and Family class, but I think this is it for now. ;). lol. I hope y'all have had a great week thus far... and that I've peaked the curiosity in some of you enough to make you want to read this book. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless!

Being a Hepburn in a Hilton World

After finally having a chance to hang out with my adopted "little sister", Delaney, (who, btw, is an absolute doll, I'm so proud to call her my little sister) at Borders, I picked up a book I'd been wanting to read since I saw it on amazon.com. The book is called How to Be a Hepburn in a Hilton World... and the book definitely lives up to its expectations.

Just like the title promises, this books gives really great tips on how young women can live as classy and modestly as the great Audrey Hepburn did. From the first page to the last, author Jordan Christy does an amazing job offering advice in a witty manner that makes it sounds like a letter from your cool, older sister that you look up to. (side note: Though the author is my age, I did feel like she was the older sister I wish I had, imparting wise advice to her younger sister.) I actually felt like I knew the author and that this advice was actually tailored to me (being a big fan of old fashioned manners and morals). Everything from fashion to relationships, both personal and professional, is covered. That is actually very rare. I'm uber picky with the non-fiction books (my review on Jane Austen's Guide to Dating anyone?) because the advice given is usually... well, not good... at all! I didn't have that problem with this book.

I am so glad that she really gets "it", what it means to be a modest young woman... and she doesn't care about stepping on the so-called feminists' toes. Jordan really emphasized the fact that our culture is overrun with the Paris Hiltons and Lindsay Lohans of the world that make our gender look like a bunch of "Stupid Girls." She uses real life examples to show us both sides so we can see why their way of living should become extinct, and why the way of Audrey Hepburn and our great-grandmothers should be brought back.

I loved the advice she gave on relationships -- both platonic and romantic. Everything from dealing with the toxic friends that won't leave you alone to how to handle yourself with grace and dignity in other social situations... it's pretty much what I would tell my "little sisters" and nieces. The issue of sex comes up, and she handles it very well. It doesn't feel like yet another person "forcing" the idea on us. She uses reason and common sense, fused with "old fashioned" morals, in a way that I wish was presented more often to young women.

One thing that this book has that others sorely lack is that it's actually very fun and interactive. There are quizzes that you can take such as the one that determines your true style (I am a heart - my style is sweet and romantic with laces and ruffles and light colors) as well as recipes to make of yourself or with friends (the Tennessee French Toast is so good!). And, bonus, she encourages young women to better their lives and to go ahead with the dreams that most people would want to squash.

I think the thing I loved the most about this book is that she really makes you feel like you're a) awesome for wanting to be (or already being) more modesty and classy and b) that you should totally embrace who you are because that girl is amazing. I had such a boost of confidence after reading this book because I really identified with it.

Have I mentioned that she actually advocates for young women to get more involved in their community and to do something for someone in need... without getting anything back in return (except for that lovely feeling one gets when we do good)? Want to start? Please do something for those who have suffered due to the Haitian earthquake. (I personally love the American Red Cross).

In a nutshell, at the end of book, I was thanking God that I'd finally read something that I could recommend to my fellow Maidens of Modesty. I would definitely recommend this book to any young woman who, like me, is a little old fashioned and wishes she lived in an era like that of the incomparable Audrey Hepburn. Who knows, maybe if we get enough young women to start acting this way (and passing it on to our younger sisters, nieces, daughters), we'll see women regaining the respect and dignity we are more than worth of.

Alright, I am going to go continue planning on how to revamp my own wardrobe a little more (since I've decided to embrace the girly side of myself.)

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless!