Wednesday, January 30, 2013
1) The 200th anniversary of Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice was this past Monday. I didn't get to re-read the novel for the anniversary as I was re-reading Northanger Abbey (another one of my favorites by Jane). If you haven't already guessed from my insane amount of #Janeite tweets, from watching my Goodreads feed, or from the font in this blog's header (hint: it's her handwriting font), I am a massive Jane Austen fan. The first Tiber River book review I wrote was even on the Pride and Prejudice Study Guide. One of my best friends, Kathryn, sent me this Jane Austen Devotional during my senior year of college but I never got to it with my Thesis and everything else. In fact, I'm going to start it tonight and hope to have a review next Wednesday at the latest. If I get done earlier, I'll write a stand alone book review. Anyway, even though I know Jane Austen was Anglican and the book will undoubtedly reflect that, I have a feeling I'll still learn something. Some of my more spiritually fruitful periods as a Catholic have actually been inspired by my amazingly faithful Christian (read: non-Catholic) friends like Kathryn so I look forward to having it inspire me once again. :D
2) I got two things out of my ten minute conversation with my First Communion Godmother: 1) I feel like I got a sign that maybe I'm onto something with a possible change of career/Masters degree and 2) I really need to make some changes (like I mentioned at the beginning of this post; which I won't get into until #3). The career change is actually still somehow connected to words, only spoken instead of written. I had mentioned that it was hard to get steady freelance work (though I've had a couple of steady assignments lately) and how my anxiety's been insane lately... and how both actually go together. The more my mind is active and occupied, the less likely I am to have anxiety all day or to have a random panic attack. I over-think things. That's why I've been devoting so much time to reading lately; my mind is occupied and I can relax from stressful things such as my health or my mother's health or finances. After a dream I had a few weeks about a friend's son who has SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder), I felt very strongly about looking into it. When my Godmother (who has known me since I was born) suggested I looked into doing Speech Therapy for Children for my Master's degree, it all sort of clicked for me. I love children, I love language, and I would love to do something to help others. As of now, I don't think I am doing a very good job of making myself useful to others so this may be the thing I need to do. That and I have too much time on my hands and am itching to go back to school. Of course, I won't do anything until I pray about it. I'm still torn on everything. Luckily, I wasn't planning on applying to grad schools until this coming fall (for a Fall 2014 start) so I have time. :D How is this related to faith? 1) My Godmother (who is one of my heroes) brought it up and I am crediting the Holy Spirit for that and 2) it's going to force me to pray more and focus on doing God's will instead of worrying about my health for once. lol.
3) Some changes I want to make: not worrying about fitting into any Catholic mold on social networks. I need to say this before I explain: you guys are amazing. My on- and off-line friends (Catholic or not) are fantastic. You guys inspire me so much. However, I feel like I don't fit in with y'all about 98% of the time. #CathSorority, I love you gals. You always pray for me when I ask you guys, you gals are there for venting that guys won't understand, and y'all make me laugh... but I don't feel like I'm really a part of the group. There's cliques (and not bad ones either; amazing women who have their own little groups) and I don't fit into them. Likewise, on twitter, y'all are amazing but I don't fit in. I saw that clearly after the whole cursing debate on Patrick's Right Here, Right Now show. This is who I am: I don't drink. I don't curse (nor do I honestly like it). I'm not married. I don't have children. I don't even have a boyfriend. I love football (soccer). I love daily Mass. I'm a big time goofball and a bit of a fuddy duddy at times. My sense of humour is weird (but I like it) and some of it is lost through social networks... which leads to a lot of misunderstandings. I take some things very seriously that you some of guys say "I don't see what the big deal is" about... and vice versa. I feel like the Lone Ranger on social media sites. It can be a little depressing at times but I've decided not to let it get to me. I have amazing friends who love and accept me as I am. I don't have the "ew, she's too 'traditional'" or "ew, she's too liberal" feeling with them that I get with some people online and that's good enough for me. Again, I love y'all but I don't feel like I fit in. Story of my life. lol.
Anyway, just wanted to get all of that out. It's hardly a What I Learned Wednesday as little of it had to do with something I learned about the Faith but it's all still somewhat connected to my own faith as a Catholic so, you know, I'm making it count. lol. Hopefully I'll have something better next week. ;)
I really should go read... or do something to make these stress knots in my back and shoulders feel less painful. :)
Oh! And P.S. Y U NO send me prayer requests? Please, y'all. Give me things to offer my anxiety up for. I am literally begging you to send me prayer requests. lol.
As always, thanks for reading and God bless. :D