When I reverted to the Faith in late summer 2006, I was pretty sick. I had been extremely healthy up to that point. Seriously, I could go years without going to the doctor if I wasn't required to get shots for school. In those days, the doctors hadn't properly diagnosed me with having a severe anxiety relapse (long story short; people can be cruel in when they're mentally and emotionally abusing someone). At one point, I had been in the Emergency Room 3 times in 5 days. What I didn't know then (due to lack of proper diagnosis) was that anxiety can have some pretty bad physical symptoms.
During one of the especially bad ER visits (and a couple of weeks into my reversion -- which I credit to St. Jude's intercession via my mother's prayers), I made a couple of promises to St. Jude: that I would attend a Catholic college to finish my degree and to visit the Vatican (since that is where his remains are) after I graduated. Both things were going to be done as a "thank you" for his intercession for my health. Well, I did graduate from a "Catholic" college (close enough, right? I applied before I knew it was CINO). Now the promise that I have to fulfill is visiting the Vatican.
I desperately want to fulfill that promise for many reasons. A few weeks after asking for intercession, I was on the mend. I got a proper diagnosis, alternative meds (since I'm sensitive to most meds), and was much happier since I had cut all the toxic things out of my life. I returned to school (community college) part time. While I was in school from then on, I was healthy enough to attend with only one major interruption (my father's death). Sure, anxiety still plagues me to this day (though I know what triggers it so I can easily control it) but I can now go several months without a single anxiety attack. And, besides my stomach problems (which I am enduring without much complaint; offering it up), I'm actually the healthiest I've been in years. :D
Because of how fragile my personal finances are at the moment (which is the cause of my anxiety these days), I obviously can't go to the Vatican anytime soon. However, my only New Year's Resolution is to cut back on my miscellaneous spending (even more; I'm a frugal lady ;D) and put whatever money I have left over from tutoring and writing (after bills and tuition payments) into my trip to the Vatican. I hope to go sometime next year, before I head off to grad school.
When I have a goal in mind, I work hard for it. When it's a promise, I worker harder to keep it. I am putting my stubbornness to good use. ;)
Anyway, just felt the urge to write and to share this so... yeah. lol. Today is my last free day before both my freelance writing assignments (which I already have 3 of; big ones, too) and tutoring consume the majority of my day, so I'm going to go relax. :)
Oh! Please don't forget to send me any prayer requests. I'm still aiming for the 365 days of prayers for others. If you have a particularly big intention and are in need of a novena, let me know. I am a novena machine. lol. ;)
As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D
1 comment:
I really love your blog. I have had my own struggles with anxiety for a long time but have been much better since finding the right medicine in 2000. Anyway, I've wanted to thank you for posting your stories (and insert a shout out here to Patrick Madrid who turned me on to your blog via twitter. My brother left the Church years ago and has since become a venomous anti-catholic and these past 2 days we have been butting heads really bad. He has said some very untrue and hurtful things to me about our faith and I would like some prayers for him. If you have some nuclear novena he needs it! Thank you so much and good luck saving up for that trip.
Post a Comment