Thursday, May 27, 2010

Mean Girls and "Girl World"

When I first watched the movie Mean Girls, I'll admit I laughed out loud. While it may (at first) seem like an exaggerated version of "girl world", I've come to find that not only is it tame compared to the stuff a majority of us women go through (even as adults) but it's actually dead on underneath the humor. Trust me on this, I've lived through MUCH worse thanks to the cattiness and constant "power struggle" within the so-called girl world.

It wasn't until I found myself some really amazing girlfriends (a majority devout Christians of various denominations and Catholics) that I realized that it was possible to never set foot into the scary "girl world" that is alive and well in most parts of the world. So called Queen Bees are truly scary. Heck, I'll be 25 on Sunday and they still scare me. lol. While I can certainly defend myself, I often choose to simply turn the other cheek. It's much easier and more Christian than plotting my revenge against. Plus, I avoid drama like the plague; I absolutely loathe it. Things had been good for me for the past couple of years until someone pulled me (whether she meant to or not) back into the girl world I try so hard to avoid. If you haven't guessed it, a guy is (of course) at the center of this "fight."

I normally don't talk about my romantic relationships because I feel like it's just between the person I'm dating (or interested in) and myself. I'm still not saying much but I feel like this needs to be said because I haven't really seen this discussed in young women's blogs (at least not the Catholic ones.)

Why is it that when two young women are interested in the same guy, there is sudden competition? Not only that, some get downright vindictive if they feel you're threatening to take men's attention from her. Why? I don't get it. It's definitely worse when two girls are after the same guy. Usually they try to "one-up" each other, making themselves seem like the perfect girl to the guy and trashing the other in the process. It's absolutely sickening... and I refuse to ever take part in that sort of thing. If you think Christian women are saved, you are wrong my friends. Some so-called Christian women do things more... how can I say this?... sneakily? Is that even a word? Well, anyway, I've seen these women use theology and Christianity to get ahead in the "competition." Really? Seriously? How low can we go, ladies? Using God to get a guy to like you? Lord help us all! Not only that, the more we get into these "fights" and "competitions" the happier you're making the evil one. Is that what you really want?

Of course I don't think I have to remind y'all that not only is this type of thing just insane but it's actually extremely sinful. I can think of at least one big mortal sin that you commit while doing this. We definitely get tempted to do a lot of really stupid things just to "win" the guy. And, unfortunately, not many stop to think about what they're doing until it's way too late and the drama has erupted into a full on war. I am woman enough to admit that I've often been tempted to also "step up my game" when I've seen a girl trying to win over my crush by force (oh the tactics I can list...) but I've managed to do well thus far.

Like I said in my Friendship and Jealousy post, I firmly believe that what is meant to happen will happen. Lately, I've allowed my "competition" to do as she pleases -- doing things I'd never do to get a guy to like me -- because I know that if it's meant to be it will be. I am not going to stress myself over this. If the guy falls for the tricks he's being played, not my fault. I'm not going to say anything because that's her deal with him. Just like I don't like people butting into my affairs (trying to have a say in the outcome of it just because they can't resist), I am not going to mess with the other girl's deal. To me, it's not worth it. I'm going to be myself and if the guy doesn't realize who I am and what I can bring to the relationship, it's not my fault. I refuse to throw myself at him. I refuse to change myself for him. I refuse to enter "girl world" drama for anything, especially a guy. I'm just going to leave it up to God and, if necessary, ask St. Raymond Nonnatus (patron against gossip) or St. Margaret of Cortona for their intercession because I can only handle so much. If you feel yourself getting tempted by these or any temptations, feel free to ask St. Michael the Archangel, St. Benedict of Nursia, or St. Catherine of Siena for their intercessions -- I have great faith in them, especially since they are some of the patrons against temptations. :)

Alright, my dears, I will now focus on school. I've been wasting too much time online and I think all these happenings are a sign that I should get offline more often and focus on my finals. I think I'm getting to complacent -- I know I can finish all the work quickly so I procrastinate. I will try to update soon but don't be surprised if I don't until after Sunday. It is, after all, a big weekend for me. :D

I hope everyone is well and that all you lovely young ladies are having it easier than I have/am at the moment. :)

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless.

10 comments:

Clare Ryan said...

I got a huge dose of 'girl world' this year. You most decidedly have my sympathy and prayers... everything you've said sounds *very* familiar. Pray for me too. Love ya!

Clare Ryan said...

P.S. I developed a special devotion to Our Lady Undoer of Knots this past year... she's never failed to show me the right thing to do and give me interior peace, even if the outside world is still crazy and confusing.

Epiphany said...

Thanks for this reminder! I've been having a lot of "girl drama" lately, and I really needed something to set me straight.

Dan Sealana said...

Emmy,

Guys play these kinds of games, too. I find myself tempting to do that same thing, now that I'm "single" again.

It's definitely tempting for me to feel like it's OK to be manipulative, as if the ends justify the means. But I know that's not right.

I've done PLENTY of dumb things in my 20s in an attempt to flatter (or at least, get some sort of attention)from women. I could fill a whole blog with all my lame stories.

Emmy Cecilia said...

Clare - Sorry to hear that! Thanks for the prayers. They will be returned. :D And thanks for letting me know about Our Lady Undoer of Knots! Love ya too. :D

Epiphany - Hope you are able to get out of "girl world" soon! Prayers going your way.

Dan - I didn't think it was as bad with the guys. Prayers that you steer clear from those temptations.

Robert said...

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www.christian.com

Joe of St. Thérèse said...

At least on my end of the stick, I absolutely hate being tricked, being played, if I find out that I am, I don't become a very nice person. ;)

I've got stories to share on this kind of issue, I'll tell you via e-mail one day or something :)

pvfranciscanos said...

God bless you my sister.
I am a franciscan frier in Brazil.
Congratulations!
Frei Alvaci

mario rotama torga xinsulim said...

god's blesse's upon you

luound

Claire Christina said...

Okay, so I'm a little behind. I just wanted to offer hope that it doesn't have to be like that. Within groups of solid Catholic friends, it has happened to me more than once that another girl and I both liked the same guy, and we mutually decided that our friendship was more important than the guy. Sometimes the guy dated neither of us, sometimes he dated one of us. In one case they're happily married and I was thrilled to be a bridesmaid (when I hardly knew the girl before our crushes)!

I suppose my point is that this 'girl world' is not inherent, unavoidable behavior. We /can/ move on with our lives in awesome, productive, helpful, holy ways. *hugs you!*

PS - The video from your previous post is so delightfully 90s. Thank you! :D