I Really Don't Like Summer

On the first day of summer I want to admit that I really don't like summer. In fact, it's my least favorite season. I don't like the hot weather (it can get up to over 128 degrees in my part of L.A. during the hottest summers). I don't like the limited things I can do because of the sun/heat. I have really sensitive skin so any prolonged sun exposure creates an allergic reaction (read: rashes and hives). I really, really don't like having to stay indoors because it is so unbearably hot. I have the unfortunate luck of having a west facing room so my room is an oven during the hottest part of the day. I can't drink my favorite drink, tea, during the summer. And don't suggest iced tea; that's bordering on sacrilege for this tea drinker. lol. For some reason, my anxiety is heightened during this gross season and I tend to get more sick during it, which is a big reason why I hate it.

I like the spring. I love cool but sunny days. I like rainy days. I like the idea of getting my umbrella and trying to recreate Gene Kelly's famous dance from Singin' in the Rain. I like drinking tea and baking. I love listening to Ella Fitzgerald while I drink tea and bake cookies. I love wrapping myself in my blanket, reading a book on the love seat (which is in my bedroom), drinking tea (notice a trend?), and listening to the rain fall outside my window. I love the flowers blooming and the grass getting greener. I am a spring girl. I am happiest during this season (and fall... because I'm a massive nerd and the whole "going back to school" thing makes me giddy). Most of my happiest memories happened during the spring. Since I won't get to experience spring again until next year... well, I'm not going to be a happy camper. lol.

I am trying to think of what to do this summer to keep my mind and self occupied. I firmly intend to not go out after 11 a.m. unless it's to pick mom up from work... or because I have to do something at a later time. I don't want a repeat of last year when I had a 2.5 month throat infection (thanks, summer) and hives on my arms from the heat. No gracias. Obviously, I'm going to be reading... a lot. I know what times my local libraries (I live in between two) open so I can get there early. I also have overflowing shelves full of books I've been given for my birthday. But, I also want to do something good for others.

At the moment I haven't come up with a plan but I'm taking the Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati PACT seriously this summer. There has to be something I can do for others while I'm holed up in the house. My usual preference (working to make meals for those who need it) won't work out this summer for obvious reasons. I'm too poor to, at least, make sandwiches at home and do my own distribution. I really need to put on my thinking cap because I want to do something good this summer... you know, besides ranting about how I hate the season. lol. I figure if I do something good I won't hate the season so much. It's just a theory; we'll see what happens. ;)

Anyway, sorry... I was just ranting/writing "out loud." Yes, I am that bored. lol. I promise I won't write many of these. ;)

I hope y'all are having a great week thus far. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless. :D

It All Makes Sense Now!

Yes, the picture accurately describes how I feel right now. It'll be quick but I wanted to write about this.

Went to Saturday Vigil Mass since mom has to work tomorrow and what did I get? One: A major "ah ha!" moment about my vocation and my current time off that made everything make so much sense that I feel a wonderful peace. (I will eventually share what it is.) Thanks to my confessor for that great homily that brought this to me. Two: my new Rosary blessed by my confessor... after he jokingly said "No!" Three: A bigger desire to work for a church (parish). God bless Saturday Vigil Masses... and everyone who's been praying for me. I will try to catch up on emails and messages this week to personally thank you all. :)

Also, heads up: there is a good chance I will be in a funk tomorrow (third Father's Day without my dad) so I may not be in a chatty mood on twitter or blog. Because of this possibility, I want to wish all fathers a Happy Father's Day. If I do feel myself in a funk, I will offer it up for you guys. :D

I hope you all have a great weekend! :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

"I Won't Give Up," and Neither Should You

Sorry for the lack of updates but I've been busier than I expected in the last couple of days. My anxiety is slowly coming down and I'm in better spirits than I was earlier this month. I still have a lot to pray and think about but I'm getting there. :)

Anyway, I don't want to make this too long. Really, I just wanted to share this video of Jason Mraz explaining where the inspiration to his beautiful song, "I Won't Give Up," came from. I have a friend who is currently going through a very hard time and is doing a lot of self-destructive things (please keep her in your prayers) so this hit close to home.

I Won't Give Up (VH1 Storytellers) - Music Videos - Live Performances

Though I personally have never gotten to the place Jason did, I've known people who have. Agree with what he says or not, if there's one thing you take out of watching this video, I hope that it's that we're never truly alone. Even when we're in our darkest moments, God is there with us every step of the way. He won't give up on us no matter what we do or think and we shouldn't give up our Faith or hope that things will get better... because they will.

Post-Grad Slump

<-- That is how I wish I could feel but I don't. It's been a little over a month since I graduated from college and I've already found myself in a post-grad slump.

See, this is the first time that I've never had anything to do since I was a child. I went to school (albeit on and off) for 24 years. I took care of my father until he passed away. After he passed away, I took a new role in the family (taking on some of his responsibilities) but now we've got our new routine down pat so no need to try to perfect it. With no jobs prospects (trust me, I'm looking) I find myself feeling both bored and useless.

Sure, I do the whole housewife thing... without being an actual housewife. I cook and clean. I've gotten so good at cleaning the house that it can be done in half an hour or less. I get everything done quickly and early -- chores, errands, etc. Once all of that is done, I have way too much time on my hands and I have absolutely no idea what to do to fill the time.

I read. A lot. I go to the library an average of once a week, twice on a slow week. I've been working on my novel but I try not to do it for hours or else my eyes and head hurt from staring at the screen for so long. I dance around like the massive dork that I am when I'm home alone to get some of my exercise in. I attend Mass in the mornings when I can get my tired tush out of bed on time. I drive my mom to work in the pre-dawn hours and pick her up early in the afternoon. Beyond that, I have nothing to do.

It's strange for me not to have anything to do. To be honest, I feel kind of useless -- to the point where I feel a bit depressed. What can I do? Jobs aren't easy to come by. I love writing and my imaginative mind has been in overdrive the last couple of weeks but that doesn't generate any income. This all just really stinks.

Just wondering, what have some of you (who have been in my shoes) done during this post-grad slump? I mean, sure I can work on my grad school applications (at least one is due before summer is over) but I need to do something productive with my time. What I've been doing to busy myself has not been fulfilling. By the way, no volunteer work suggestions. Trust me, without a job I can't drive too far (no money for gas and L.A. is quite spread out) and any local places that I would normally go to need a once a month volunteer).

Anyone want to help a sister out?

From Someone Who Actually Read The Book

That is a screenshot of my Goodreads book tally. Yes, I have read the book that has everyone talking this week. Yes, I hated it (which is why I gave it 1out of 5 stars -- I would've given it a zero if I could). And, yes, I agree with the statement that the Vatican issued on the book.

It should come as no surprise that this book was assigned for my "Sexual Christian Ethics" course my junior year at the CINO college. The professor (the same one who spoke ill of the Holy Father) raved about the book. To be quite honest, I didn't read the entire thing because it would make me feel nauseous. I would read come exam time... and only read what would be on the test because the few pages I did read made me upset.

Let me just tell you the gist of the class -- which was taught according to what was in Just Love by Sr. Margaret Farley and A Lily Among the Thorn: Imagining a New Christian Sexuality by Miguel de la Torre. Homosexuality is fine because God wants us all to love. The Church is terrible patriarchy that wants to oppress women and minorities (including homosexuals) -- and this would start rants about the Church and the Holy Father that I would offer up. My prof would say that she was not in agreement with the Church and that she was in agreement with the books instead of the Church.

I found my old notes so now I'm going to add straight quotes. "Patriarchy (alluding to the Church from my understanding in class) creates sexism, homophobia, and hypocrisy." "Why are things reduced to what you do in bed?" "Notion of virginity is culturally constructed and not from God." "At various times of your life you fluctuate between hetero- and homosexuality." "You experiment with yourself, men with men, and women with women." "Virgin Mary didn't remain a virgin." "Hell may not exist." "(talking about nuns) Smarter than priests and they admitted it." Had enough yet? That is just part of it. There are things I don't feel comfortable writing that were covered in the book that go against Church teachings.

Do I agree that this book will confuse those who know little to nothing about the Catholic Church? Yes. Will what is written lead many astray, especially if taught (like we were) in classes? Definitely. The words "yeah, it was all part of the liberation theology taught at that school" just came to mind. I am personally happy the statement has been issued though I think that it won't do much at the schools where this book is assigned. Though I hope she doesn't, I feel like my former prof will rant about how the Vatican is on a "witch hunt" because they're scared of nuns the next time she uses this book.

For the record, this is from my point of view and what we covered when I was at the CINO college. I definitely don't recommend this book. I prefer Theology of the Body which, not surprisingly, my profs didn't agree with when I brought it up in class.

Anyway, just wanted to add my two cents and let y'all know that, coming from someone who actually read part of the book, I agree with everything the Vatican has said. Avoid at all costs if possible.

I am a bit behind on a few book reviews of Tiber River Review so I'm going to get offline and try to finish at least one of them before the day ends. :)

I hope you all have a great weekend. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D